Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep. 04: The Funeral

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

The Triplets hit the town to gather supplies for the soft launch of their latest business venture, but take a detour to get their fortunes read! Jens charms the villagers, Nyack tries to charm Bleutooth, and Onyx GETS charmed by some dolls as the Trinvyale X Strahd crossover continues!Subscribe to our Patreon! - Patreon.com/NaddpodCREDITSEditing by Brian MurphyProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMusic Includes:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford“Oh Melora” by Emily Axford “The Little Moon” by Emily Axford“Barovian Tango” by Emily Axford“The Night Lotus” by Emily Axford“A Memorable Feast” by Emily Axford“Moonsick” by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford“Selfless” by Emily Axford"Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum“The Gate” by Emily Axford“Strahd” by Emily Axford"Trinyvale Closing Theme" - Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to Trinnevale. Trinnevale. Trinnevale. Trinnevale. And also Barovia. Barovia. Barovia.

Barovia. Good stuff. Good hustle on that one, gang. Yeah, chants like that are going to get us to Nationals. I think we've got the stuff this year. But first, before we get to Nationals, we have got to get to Ravenloft, because folks, we are back.

Ravenloft, okay, just me. You don't have to be on that one. One more time, Jake, one more time. Comedy works in fours, do it one more time. One more time. Fuck, he really nailed that one, that was smooth as hell. Sorry, no, no, no, no, sorry, go on, go on. That's five is too much. That's five is too much again, yeah.

Five fingers, which I used to slap you because I need to continue because this is episode four of Trinnavale Extrad. Yeah, baby. Yes. Friends, I am your Dracula uncle, AKA Drunkle Caldwell Tanner, joined as always by my preposterous players, Brian Murphy. What's up fuckers, we're opening a Fudd Rockers.

Jens Lindell. Emily Axford. One third of a triple with a picture of a nipple. That's right, the morning Lord's nipple. I didn't get my own rhyme at first, I was like, I read it, cause I had written it down, and I was like, what do I mean one third of a triple? Oh, not a triple.

Yeah, it works. You write your rhymes three weeks in advance. We just hope that they work out. And of course, Jake Hurwitz. Resting my feet in the primary suite, nyack, the raniform. Oh, yeah. That's right, you're sleeping in a dead man's bedroom.

Well, he doesn't need it. He doesn't need it. He's not using it. And it's en suite. And it's true, you guys do need it because you've got to rest up because you are planning the perfect Fuddrucker funeral. But before we get to that, how about a quick recap?

Let's do it. All right. Last time we met, our insipid triplets did battle with the Burgomaster's son, Ismark Koljanovic, who suspected them of working for Strahd. After a number of unsuccessful persuasion attempts, Ismark viciously attacked Jens and revealed in a fit of emotion that his father was dead. Onyx finally managed to calm him down by promising to help him plan a Marie Kondo-style funeral

for the Burgomaster. Once he agreed, his sister Marina came out of the house revealing that the vampire Lord Strahd had bitten her twice. She fears he'll soon return to claim her, and asks the triplets to help her get out of the village once the funeral was complete. The siblings then led you into the house where you found the Burgermaster's body lying in a coffin. After a failed search for his secret burger recipe, you joined forces with a very sick mule and carried the coffin all the way to the town church.

Once there you met Father Donovich, a priest of the Morning Lord, who explained that to properly send the Burgermaster to the Radiant Realm, you'd need to gather some tasteful decorations, food, refreshments, and of course, some faithful villagers to attend the affair. You decided to take the preparation one step further and make this the funeral event of the season by charging admission and potentially setting up a burger bar. As you spoke, Donovich recalled the grand feast that the Burgomaster used to put on. These festivities came to an end after Marina was adopted and Strahd's gaze fell upon the village.

While the priest reminisced, Onyx peeled off from the group and investigated the church, finding a book about fighting demons and archfey known as the Blade of Truth. She also found a vial of holy water, a training dummy, and a huge secret, for hidden beneath a trap door was Donovich's vampire spawn brother, Doru. You confronted Donovich about his brother and he agreed to help you transform the church into an experimental fudruckers in exchange for keeping his secret. Satisfied, you returned to the mansion and settled into the Burgomaster's old bed for a long rest. While everyone relaxed, Onyx paged through the Sword of Truth book

and found a strange drawing of a stone megalith in the shape of a wi-fi router. Eventually you all passed out and were greeted by vivid dreams. Nyak ran through misty woods like a true hunter of the night. Jhin saw his burgaining burger empire rising to rival Strahd and Onyx heard a strange voice say, hello Onyx, I'm so glad we could finally connect. And that is where we are now. I wake up and I'm like, a nightmare, I was on LinkedIn. Oh, Nyx shudders. Hold me, Jens. Jens pushes Onyx out of the way. You didn't post anything, did you? Oh, Niax shudders. All to me, Jen.

Jen pushes Onyx out of the way. You didn't post anything, did you? I had a vision. Since we're vegan now, our Fuddruckers should be vegan. It should be a baked potato bar, and we can call it Spudfuckers. Spudfuckers. Spudfuckers. Niax faints.

Onyx weeps. I hold everyone and we weep together, knowing that everything is going to be okay now. Actually, this is the perfect moment because ever since I got rid of my phone by becoming a phone, I have been feeling very spiritual and I would like to take out my hymns from the dawn book. We're so religious now. and I would like to take out my hymns from the Dawn book. And I would like to sing. We're so religious now. To sing.

I'm also a boy mom, so I'm religious now. I'm not doing that. No. And I would like to sing a hymn of the Dawn. So I'm gonna have like a blonde wig on. Song, man, a song. Are there any hymns from the hymn of the Dawn in the source book?

There aren't any in the source book, so you're allowed to just make up whatever you want right now. Okay. Nyack is waving his ass in the air. It's just verse after verse, there's no chorus in Nayaq. She's been going for three minutes. Woo! When are we gonna hit a different note?

Nayaq starts doing the Soulja Boy. Help, I tried to do the stanky leg, but my leg is broken now. Okay, so that's a problem for you. Onyx, as you sing this beautiful haunting song, shafts of blood red sunlight start to leak through the boarded up windows as a new day begins. The air quality here is terrible.

It seems that the night has passed uneventfully. You're not sure if your presence prevented Strahd's minions from attacking again, or if they're abiding some sort of twisted reverence for the funeral to come. But regardless, you wake up refreshed and ready to carry out your final preparations for this hallowed ceremony. After a moment you hear a knock on the door and you hear Ismark say, Oh, the dawn, how she comes, yes, ha ha. It has been a long time since we've heard that song. A little bit, you, but okay. Understood, yes. It is good to hear that song. It has been quite a time since we've heard that song. A little pitchy, but okay. Understood, yes.

It is good to hear that song. It has been quite a while since it was sung in this part of the world. Right, well it's gonna be sung a lot at Spudfuckers. The new Fudruckers at the church. That is a big potato bar. A vegan Fudruckers. Wait, what were you doing outside the door?

Eavesdropping on the Fudfuckers? Yeah, were you perving? Is that why they call you the lesson? Because you're a freaking perv. Were you gooning outside the door? The only thing they call, who is Mark the Gooner? No, friends, the only thing-

I open the door super fast to see if he's gooning. The only thing I'm wet for is these double soaked overnight oats as requested. Oh, all right. Did you goon in the oats? If you goon in the oats, I'm gonna be so pissed. I almost lost my appetite, unless you can promise me you didn't goon in these oats.

I can't eat the oats now that we've talked about it. I'm sorry. Scaldova style, I'm gonna see, I'm gonna do a constitution save. Yeah. Shout out to the two crew. Oh my God! Okay, actually. I was making the oats and they just looked so soft.

Okay, yeah. And pale. Honestly, the biggest problem is it's not vegan now. Yeah. It's laden with your testosterone. Would you like me to start over on the oats? Yeah. No, we don't want you anywhere near our food.

Look, we're gonna be fine. We've got a spud fuckers on the horizon. We just need, look, we'll give you sort of a list of all the party stuff. We'll hang out here today. I had a thought for your party. Yeah, it's a, by party do you mean my father's funeral? The funeral slash soft family and friends opening

of Spotify. It's such a soft opening. Because we're treating this tenderly. We're doing this delicately. It's so soft. But the thing is that we want to get, because we're charging admission, we want to make money. And so we want to get as many people to come as possible.

And it seems like there's this whole vampire thing happening which is an untapped audience. So do we want to have the funeral at night so the vampires can come? Well traditionally the funeral must take place during the day so that the morning lord, his rays of light might shine. That's what we're saying we could do like an 11am. But have you considered if we had the funeral at night, the kids would go to sleep so it'd be like,

by nature, it'd be like adults only. Which I love an adults only. We party all night and by the morning time, the funeral is over and the morning lord is arriving. And here's the thing, we give out coupons that say free potatoes but then we charge for the fixings, and once people see the fixings bar, they're gonna want fixings.

They don't want plain baked potatoes. Yeah, they're not just gonna want, that's not why you go to Spudfuckers. Perhaps if I could offer just a slight notice that maybe the party could begin. Yeah, well we're not taking notes from you because you're gonna goon in the potatoes. You're gonna try to goon in the fixings, is that the note?

You are not gonna come within two feet of the kitchen, okay? You're not gonna come. You can be trusted not to goon in the odds. You are not gonna come within two feet of the kitchen. Okay? You're not gonna come. You can't be trusted not to go in the odds. You're not gonna come at all. It's just, you know, there's not many eligible bachelorettes in this town. Sure, sure. Really? Okay.

Right from no bachelorette to Oat Pile? I will say, though, if possible, could we have the funeral first, and then maybe it's an all day party that continues on into the night? Okay. Oh, if we use the funeral. Oh, we get everyone super hungry. If we, yeah, no food at the funeral.

That's good. But a lot of pictures of food. Oh, here's what we do. We say, free donuts first come first serve and then we have an empty box so they think they're early enough. And everyone's super hungry. We can eat the donuts. We were there first. We eat the donuts. Yeah that's actually true. And then we have like we're setting up the potato bar but no one can access it yet. Yeah that's great I really like that. Is there a place in town

where we could buy four donuts? Yeah and also like dozens and dozens of potatoes. Yeah. And we're gonna need bacon. We're gonna need sour cream. We're gonna need chives. Scallions. Yeah, or scallions. This is good, yes. Okay, bacon's not vegan. Oh, right.

Vegan bacon. Unless it's been cooked. Unless it's been cooked. If it's been cooked, it's okay. Excuse me. Yeah. Oh. Your excuse.

I'm still... Well, yeah, cause then it's not pork, it's bacon. Yes, that's too true. Yeah, we can't eat chicken. Because I've never met a bacon animal before. Thank you. Well, if you want to gather all these ingredients, I might suggest going to Bildrath's Mercantile in town.

Okay. Okay, yeah. Okay, we'll do that, yeah. And you're good for funeral? Yes. Party? My sister and I have some preparations, some words we wish to write to honor our father. Just keep it short because we don't want people to lose their appetites.

Of course. Actually, let me do a pass at your words for your father afterwards because I'm going to put some sort of subconscious marketing for Spodfuckers. We should do some product placement within that. That's smart. Yeah, because people liked the Burger Master because of his secret herbs and spices. Okay, well, just as long as. So, okay, he's being reborn as a spudfucker.

Yeah. Oh, if you could say that all he really wanted to do was to open spudfuckers. And his final wish. And that this is his final wish, yeah. Yeah. All right, maybe I'll just leave my speech with you. Okay.

And you can write it, and then you just give me the words to say. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. I'll get to work. Wonderful. Yeah. So he hands over the beginnings of his speech. As he does this you see that Marina comes in as well. She's clad in all black and her auburn hair is pulled back into a tight braided bun. And she just says, while you were sleeping, Father Donavich sent a message reminding you

about the preparations for the funeral. He said you would need to get decorations, a few fingers foods, seems like you got that well in hand already. Yes, we definitely have that. Fingers foods, yeah. And villagers to attend. Do you think you could handle that while

Ismark and I prepare some things over here? Yeah, in terms of decorations, like what did your father like? Well, I would say like blue and yellow lights. There are some things over here. Yeah, in terms of decorations, what did your father like? Well, I would say blue and yellow lights. Okay, yeah, okay. Like, spud fucker style. Something bright, exciting.

It's a celebration of potatoes. I mean, his life. I was thinking- Maybe like a potato-seamed mascot. Oh, yeah. I was thinking more like a headstone or perhaps a picture of my father or, I don't know, maybe some tasteful flowers No

What about a picture of a cow saying eat more potatoes? Wow, that's so original. Yes, a picture of a cow that says eat more potatoes I've literally never seen that before Fucking hilarious, Arnex Goddamn, that's hilarious. That's so good, it has to be AI. Yeah. Marina, I think I could just take you out to the village and we'd be fine. I don't know if we need these three people. No, no, no. You need to stay here. You have to be in charge of the village when I am gone, Ismark.

Can I ask you a question? Yes. Hello. Is Marina long and short for Mariekando I Just it's been on all of our minds on all of my my name is Marina Coliana Interesting that's really I don't know who this Mary condo is but There is much I do not know about my past. And my father was reluctant to share many details. I would often ask him about my mother,

my adopted mother that is, my birth mother I knew nothing of. But when I would ask, all he would say is that she died when I was very young. Your father never told you about your mother? Well, he told me, you know, a few things, but it always pained him to speak of her. Is it possible that your mother is the one who had the herbs and spices that made the burger so great? Did you?

Did you? Yeah, actually, this is a little thread that I want to pull more of. What did he say about her? About my mother? Yeah. He said that she was kind. Her name was Alana and this town tried its best to break her, but she would always tell

my father, she would say, Collian, Collian, please, you must do all you can for the people, invite them over, we will make a feast. I will make sure that there is food aplenty for them. You just focus on your cool yummies and I will get everything else. Oh my god. Okay. And Alana was short for Alana's Morrissa? Again, every time I asked my father details,

he would clam up and look off into the distance towards the pillar stone. Ironic. Can I ask, do you think it's possible that Strade is actually your father? I never thought about it, but she spits on the ground. I wish it not to be true. Why would the daddy bite the daughter? That does seem weird. Yeah, I guess I'm a boy, mom, I would never bite. I would never bite my child,

but also because I wouldn't touch him. Right, the soft hand. To be seen, not to be spoken to. Right, let them make their own mistakes. All I know is that I have occasionally dreamed of my mother and in these dreams I visit her in other places, other parts of Barovia. They are familiar to me but I know not how. What do they look like? I've often seen her in a village with tall walls in the heart of the valley where there are many festivals and jamborees

and it seems a wonderful place. That seems like an amazing place to franchise. That seems like a great place to open a spot, fuckers, yes. Okay. Do you know where it is? Well, if she speaks about the heart of the valley, it could perhaps be Velaki. I've never been there myself, but my father talked of it. How close is it to here? Could I get there on feet, Bit?

He's quite spry now. The mule does seem to be much improved. It would take at least a day or two. Oh, okay, no, nevermind, nevermind. Thank you, thank you. Okay, have fun. We're out. Indeed, well, thank you for all you do.

My father was a good man, but this world is not kind to good men. The only time, again, I would see him smile was when he prepared his cool yummies. So perhaps by inventing this spud fuckers, as you call it, you can honor his dream. That's exactly the type of thing we need you to say during the eulogy.

Yeah. Yeah. Just exactly what you said there. Yeah, word for word. That was great. Yes, all right. And I totally bought it for a second. Oh my, that was good.

Wow, that was good. All right, we need to go get some blue and yellow neon. I just, I feel like you should leave this house. Yes, you should. Yeah, that makes good. All right. We need to go get some blue and yellow neon. I just, I feel that you should leave this house. Yes, you should. That makes sense. Okay. All right. So are you going to head out to find some stuff for the funeral?

Yeah, to this mercantile place. Yeah, let's go to the mercantile. We need potatoes. We need scallions. We need bacon, not pigs. Sour cream, not milk, cream. Yeah. Cream.

Great. Okay. So you wander back away from the mansion towards the town square. You see a build rafts, mercantile. Actually, before we leave, can I do one thing? Yes. Can I look for the most expensive thing in the mansion that weighs no more than 25 pounds? Okay.

Is there like a chandelier? It's like real glass. I would say. Fabergé egg. The most expensive thing is probably, you see kind of like a dull silver sunburst hanging over one of the walls. Okay, I'm going to guess duplicate

and make a copy of it to try to use as currency at the market. Oh, that's great. Yeah, nice. So I create an exact replica of an object you can see was in range, weighs no more than 25 pounds. At first glance, the two objects are indistinguishable from each other and the duplicate functions as it were the original, except for any magical properties the original object may have. The duplicate disappears when the spell ends.

If a creature uses its action to examine the duplicate, the creature can determine that it is a replica with a successful intelligence check against your spell save DC. Wow. Oh, when you cast this spell using a spell slot of second or third level, the duration increases to eight hours. So this is a second level spell, so for eight hours,

I have this. Great, yeah, you reach up, you touch this tarnished silver sun, and then it kind of, like two bubbles splitting apart, just forms into your hand. Okay, I'm gonna make the sounds of a 3D printer as this happens. It's beautiful.

And as far as value goes, why don't you roll me, we'll say 10 plus a D10, and that'll be how much gold it's worth. 19. Nine, okay, hell yeah, so it's worth 19 gold. Yeah, buddy. Woo hoo, nice. All right, so you do this,

and then you walk out into the misty streets, watching your feet on the uneven cobblestones as you go. So you make your way into the town square, and you find your way to Bildrath's mercantile. You see this kind of drab sign, poorly maintained, kind of hanging off one of its hinges, creaking in the slight wind. The curtains to the establishment are drawn,

and the glass is cracked. This is the other side of the town from where the Blood on the Vine tavern is. And you see next to this shop is another small store, much better maintained with a very brightly painted sign called Madame Ava's Fortune and Morton. So you wanna go into build drafts? Do we, I mean, should we get our, you know what?

It's probably best if we're gonna get our fortunes read, that we do that first, that way we know what's gonna happen and then maybe we can get a better price set. Top of the day stuff. That's a good call. Also, I'm spiritual now, so I want to get my tarot read. Yeah, this also just seems like a nicer setup than Bilge Rats, which I'm not terribly impressed with.

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to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash P-A-W-P-A-W. Goodbye, sweeties. Okay. Just real quick. You enter Madame Ava's fortunes and mortgings. Okay. Just real quick. You enter Madame Ava's Fortunes and Mortions, and inside you see a room brighter than anything else you've seen in all of Barovia.

Festive tapestries line the wall and rich veins of incense snake lazily through the air. The room is bathed in the warm glow of oil lamps, which dance playfully against a pile of expertly made dolls of all shapes and sizes, stacked on a display in the corner. In the center of the room, a hunched woman clad in silks gazes into a shimmering crystal ball. As you approach, she looks up and her face creases into a well-worn smile. Ha ha ha ha, oh, you're earlier than I expected. Come in. Oh, she's good.

She knew we'd be coming. Oh, she's really good. Oh my god. She's real. She's real. And I start snapping. How did you know we were coming? That's insane.

That is so crazy. My mind is blown. Because we didn't even know we were coming until like, five seconds. A minute ago, yeah. I think it was five seconds. Yeah. Five seconds ago. Take five gold, take five gold.

Yeah, take five gold. Thank you, yes. Take it right off the bat. Actually, now that we gave you five gold, can my son have one of your dolls? Oh, yes. One that speaks, maybe. One with like a little trigger to speak.

Of course, of course. Jens hadn't noticed the dolls and then just stares forward terrified of them, not looking at them. Yes, a while back a strange man and his monkey visited me from Vallaki. Blinxy was his name. He begged me to take some of his wares and try to sell them here. I think Bildrath, that old boar, refused, but I found him cute, so I agreed.

Okay, I agree. Let's not take the doll, huh? Uh, Bluetooth, pick out a doll! One! Only one! Okay, fine, two, two, two, two! I want them all! I need to collect them all for Clown!

Okay, fine, three, three! You got three, but that's where I have to draw the line. Onyx, may I pick up Bluetooth and give him a hug? No. Okay. Hold my vape, dude, hold my vape. Hold his vape. Hold his vape.

Yeah, you want a connection with him? This is how you start the connection with him. Jump up in my arms and hand it to me. All right, take your three dolls. Take your three dolls, I don't wanna look at them. Okay, here's what you see. A set of wooden nesting dolls. The smaller each one gets, the older it gets

until the innermost doll is a mummified corpse. Okay, I don't think said Bluetooth can handle that sort of facing its own mortality, so no. It's not Lord Battle Rules. A wind-up musical merry-go-round with figures of snarling wolves chasing children in place of Franciscan and Moisie. Now we're talking.

No, because it's just gonna run its. My son likes noisy toys. Let's just give blue chooses. Norse. You see a ventriloquist dummy that looks like Strahd Vanzarovich. Okay, that seems bad. Yes, that's awesome.

What do you mean awesome? That's awesome. This do you mean awesome? This one's so cool. You can start to experiment with subversive political comedy. Oh, that's interesting. You see that Bluetooth holds up the ventriloquist dummy and says, You're all trapped here! And then he bites you, James.

Ah! Fucking stop! You are so funny. That is so subversive, dude. That's not subversive. So subversive. You see a headless doll that comes with a sack of attachable heads, including one with its eyes and mouth stitched shut. Oh, self-expression. That's worth it. I mean, you get the extra heads.

That's just neat. That's cool. Yeah. That's like the type of McDonald's Tell you to get in the 80s, but you ain't getting those now. I'll tell you what You see a dolls that look remarkably like the three of you, which is odd Okay, suing this place Do they count as one or would we have to use all three? They count as a set. Okay Bluetooth picks up yours Jin Jens, and says,

this looks old. Yes, someone made it bad, I guess. That's why we're suing for libel. I break Bluetooth's iPad. Ha ha ha! Pfft! Eeeeh! Eeeeh!

Jens! What? Half of his health is kept there. Ha ha ha! I don't care, I don't like him. Ha ha ha! Pick your damn dolls! Half of his health is kept there. I don't care, I don't like him. Pick your damn dolls. And the last doll you see is a slightly more nondescript doll.

It's very pale, has long black hair, long elven ears, and two big dark crystalline black eyes. This one also looks like Jen's. Does it look like Marina? Does it look like Marina? They're still in black eyes. This one also looks like Jen's. Okay. Does it look like Marina? Does it look like Marina? It does not look like Marina. It actually looks more eladrin, if anything. Oh.

Okay, so it's kind of like a hot doll. Okay, so I'm gonna get Bluetooth I'm Thinking, so dolls that look like us. Uh-huh. The hot elf doll. Uh-huh. And the headless doll with a sack of heads. That, it's only the medicine match and it's fun.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think those three. Okay, Bluetooth goes through the sack of dolls' heads and starts sucking on them. What? That's funny. How old is he? I just don't get it. He was born yesterday.

Yeah, okay. I gave birth to him yesterday. Okay. I'm a bubble, he says as he vapes. I'm just rubbing my head. Congratulations again, Onyx. Do you guys think that we should have taken other dolls? These are the dolls that speak to me so much.

I don't care about the dolls, Onyx. I have to say I personally want the nesting doll. Can I buy the nesting doll? Oh, of course, yes. Why are we blowing money on dolls? We have a business to open. We are gonna be rich from Fudd Rockers. We can buy all of the dolls.

Spud fuckers. Spud fuckers. Spud fuckers. So that's four dolls, okay. Let me ring you up. That's 19 gold. Jesus. 19?

Yes, these are expertly crafted. I thought that we were giving you five and you can, ugh. Well, okay, you bought the dolls, that's very kind of you. How about I throw in a card reading as a sort of a bonus for your purchase? All right, that's something, yeah. Yeah, we don't quite have the cash on us. Would you accept this rare relic?

And I hold out the silver sunburst. And you're making out like a bandit, by the way, because you have the five gold, and this is worth 25 gold, so that's basically like 35 gold right there. She's going to make an investigation check. You see she holds it up. Oh, interesting.

I feel like I've seen one just like this in the Burger Master's mansion. Not one of a kind, Huniq. One of a kind. Never before been seen. Catches the light quite nicely. Let me take a look here. She got a 23.

That beats my deception. I don't think you want to part with this just yet. It's so precious to you. You can, you should not give me an heirloom of yours. Money will do just fine. Onyx starts crying because she's embarrassed. She puts a hand on yours and says, that was a good try.

How bad do you guys want these dolls? I don't super need the dolls. We could maybe use the dolls as decoration for the funeral. Fine! Okay, we'll take all the dolls for 19 gold or whatever the hell it was. I really want the headless doll. You have to deduct the five that we started with. I'm honestly worried about someone else having the dolls that look like us. They might be able to hurt us. Get your fucking hands off my dolls?

Bluetooth, I'm arguing for the dolls, you little fucking brat. All right, listen. Give us the goddamn card reading. What's happening? How do we make spud fuckers happen? Ah, well, to make spud fuckers happen, there is one large obstacle in your way,

wouldn't you agree? For a simple mom and shop pop to succeed in a land like Barovia. Boy mom, shop and shop pop. Boy mom and shop pop. Oh yeah, boy mom and shop pop. I don't know. That's incredible.

It has a ring, it has a real ring. I don't know that it does. Go on, madam. Boy mom and shop pop, and no goonin' in the oats. I can just see the mascot saying that. There is one who stands in your way, one who stands in the way of all who would succeed and change their fates.

No, what? I just don't like is boy Okay, yeah, I know he's fine. You're right. Okay. Who are you talking about? I speak of course of the devil's rod Yes He the great evil presence who looms over all in this land any blooms over all in this land. Any ray of lights, any beam of hope you try to bring here, he will strike it down, more for the sport of it than anything.

If you wish to succeed in any of your plans, you will need to put an end to his. But luckily, that is something I can help you with. You see, as she says this, her crystal ball shimmers and the whole room kind of swims with a strange light. And when you look back down, she's holding a deck of beautifully embossed golden cards in her hands. This is the Taraka deck. By reading these cards, I can tell you of your future and what you must seek to change your fates

and be rid of the curse that plagues this land. Might I do a reading for you? Nayak, do it. Oh, I thought you would do all three of us. It is a collective reading. Okay, I thought something bad might happen, which is why I offered Nyak. Why? I understand. You're very wise, Jyns. You've toppled tyrants and bedded princes.

The flash of your swords and the flap of your tongue hides a kinder touch than most have seen. Your ambition is ruthless, but I think that you think of others in your plannings and your machinations. She starts shuffling the cards as she speaks, looking from one of you to the next to the other. That is crazy that she knows that you bedded princes, because based on your appearance. I wouldn't guess

I feel like that was an easy one. That's just a trick. You can just see Indeed but onyx you have seen through many tricks before. You were a servant of whispers, but now they cloud your thoughts no more. You have found new purpose, and you seek something even greater in this land. And then at last, but not least, Nyak. Me? You are bound by stickier threads than your companions. You have found yourself in jams,

but by clinging to those you love, you find your way through. Now, like a wolf emerging from the mud, you have shaken the past from your coat and found new purpose. You have become a true hunter, and I think you will find what you seek here. So true. So now that we have familiarized ourselves, why don't you let Madame Ava read your fortunes?

Okay, read Nyax. So. Yeah, do me. She shuffles the cards from one hand to the other, their golden edges shimmering in the candlelight, then spreads them out on the table. And now the way this is going to work is I have an actual deck of Taraka cards that I purchased. Okay, here we go, let me get those.

He's got a deck. So as she speaks, she lays these cards out on this velvety, blood-colored shawl on the table next to her crystal ball. These cards tell of treasures and allies hidden in this land that could aid your quest and when we flip them we can uncover where they might be. You see she's laid the cards out in sort of like cross-shaped pattern one on each side and the one in the middle. She goes to flip over the card on the left. This card tells of history. Knowledge of the ancient

will help you better understand your enemy. She flips it over, I'll show it to y'all. You see an old man standing next to a set of trees. Ah, the five of glyphs, the druid. Oh, trees are the enemy of spud fuckers. They need to be raised. Oh. We need to chop down the forest

so we can make the parking lot for spud fuckers. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. And also to make some potato farms. Yes. Unless this druid knows the herbs and spices. Oh, is that a good car? Hmm.

I do believe that defeating this tree will be beneficial to your quest. Defeating this tree, okay. An evil, evil tree grows atop a hill of graves where the ancient dead sleep. The ravens can help you find it. Look for the treasure there. This treasure, I remind you, is history,

knowledge of the ancient that will help you better understand your enemy. Okay, time to make friends with Ravens. She then goes to flip over the second card, the one at the top of the cross pattern. This card tells of a powerful force for good and protection. A holy symbol, a real holy symbol, she winks at Onyx, of great hope.

I cry with embarrassment. Ah. She holds up the card, then you see a monk holding a large barrel. The one of Glyphs, the monk. The treasure you seek is hidden, strangely enough, behind the sun in the house of a saint. Is that barrel like a beer cast or wine?

Or maybe it's full of potatoes. Could be full of potatoes, but maybe we need a beer and wine license, a liquor license for spud fuckers. Oh, that's a good call. I have to say, is it behind the sun, S-O-N, as in boy mom, or S-U-N, as in him of the dawn, because I can do both.

It is behind the sun, S-U-N. How-U-N-H-U-M-O-F-Z-O-D-O-N, because I can do both. It is behind the sun, S-U-N. How do you get behind the sun? Well, some say that the Morning Lord is the greatest boy mom of all. So perhaps you should speak again with Father Donovich and he could point you in the direction of this specific sun. Okay.

Now, next, we move to a card of power and strength. It tells of a weapon of vengeance, a sword of sunlight. She flips the card on the right side. Ah. You see a woman with an ornate hat and robes holding two coins. The two of coins, the philanthropist. That's us. Oh, that's us.

Because actually, why do we really want to create businesses? Because we believe in small business. We just wanna help people is the thing. We just wanna help people. We just wanna help people. We're just trying to contribute to the greater good. Yeah.

The world's bottom line. Although she could be like sort of our venture capital, like she could be an early investor. Like a seed investor. A seed investment. Okay, I like that. Yeah, cause we did just spend like most of our money on dolls.

Yeah, and the dolls aren't worthless. We spent money on assets, brother. Yeah, they could accrue like baby babies. This doll could be worth 10 gold tomorrow. We don't know that. When you release this land from Strahd's grip, who knows what sort of trends could take off? Okay, I make sure everyone leaves the tags

on all the dolls we bought. As she looks at the philanthropist card, she kind of gets this distant look in her eyes as she pierces through the veil of future, past and present and says, Look to a place where strange creatures are bred, where children once cried, the treasure lies still. Strange creatures are bred. It was a place of sickness once, but now it has become a delivery room for obscure beings. Okay, so it was a hospital. Is there any clue?

Because like for the first and second, he was like, talk to the Ravens, talk to Father Donovan. Is there anyone associated with this place? If you can look in your crystal ball Open that crystal ball. Yeah, pop it open give it a rub a hospital the only Hospital I know of would be the abbey of st. Barcovia Perhaps you should seek there. Okay. Okay. That's where we meet our angel investor The abbey of course might be where you could find this sunburst as well. Oh that would make sense. Kill two

ravens with one stone. That's great because I didn't want to go all over all these places I was probably just gonna pick one or two. It's been so long since I traveled but I believe you can find the Abbey further north beyond the walls of Vallaki in the center of the valley. Okay. Is the heart of the valley? Yes. Oh, I want to go to Vallaki.

Yes, yes it is. Once upon a time the Abbey served Vallaki and vice versa but the Burgmaster there, he keeps to himself and he... Wait, there's a second Bergmaster? Of course! What? Vargas Velakovich! So they just give that title out willy-nilly?

Well, he's the Bergmaster of Vlaki. They need a franchise, I understand. You don't have to describe it anymore. This man with the monkey that you got seduced from. What was his name? Blinksy. Blinksy? Blinksy.

Blinksy? Yes, Gaddoth Blinksy. What was his monkey's name? And can I have it? Gaddoth Blinksy and the monkey's name was? Piccolo. Piccolo. Piccolo?

Can I have Piccolo? Can you have his monkey? You will need to go to ask him. Did you notice if it was like a pet or like a son? He was wearing his shirt. Whoa, okay, so like a son. Boy dad? He said boy dad, yes.

Fuck. Wow, I meant my match. Wow, can you imagine a boy dad and a boy mom? I'm gonna follow him, Yes. Fuck the style. Yes. A meeting I do foresee. Madame Ava giggles to herself a little bit and then she continues. Ah, we're coming to the good part. The next card sheds light on the one who will help you greatly in the battle

against darkness. Strahd's enemy can be found under this card. Please don't be his mark, please don't be his mark, please don't be his mark. If it's his mark, I'm gonna freak out now. I think I will too because he's like, I can't with the gooning. Yeah, I can't with it. The man fucked oats.

Ah, yes. This morning. The man fucked oats, you know all about it. I knew he was coming. Oh my God. I forgot we can gossip with you because you just kind of know everything. Did you know the priest has a vampire in his basement?

The priest has a vampire in his basement. It is a sad tale, is it not? His brother went to fight Strahd with the great wizard, but he came back changed. This land has changed much, and Strahd changes it more for the worse and the worse. Many people keep secrets, but none more than Donavich.

Can you tell us other ones? Yeah, do you have any other secrets? How about a secret about who Strahd's enemy would be? Is that a good enough secret for you? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll gossip after Sarita. Yeah, we'll gossip after it, yeah.

Yeah, let's see. She goes to flip over the card at the bottom of the cross shape. You see a graveyard shrouded in mist. Oh, this could be quite helpful indeed. I see a woman trained in hunting monsters. She does not stay in one place for long you may seek her out at the Abbey as well oh this is perfect this is great so

convenient so one stop yeah what's her name she sounds awesome let me see if I can find her name if I can seek it through. Yeah, just give the crystal ball a rest. Yeah, crystal ball. Mother night, please guide me. And she got a 24. How bad. I see the name Esmerelda. Esmerelda.

Yes. You may seek her beyond the village of Alaki. Up a large hill you will see the Abbey. No one has visited there in a long time, but there is a kind abbot who will care for you if you make your journey there. Okay. All right. Yeah.

I mean, it'd be, I don't, it sounds like it's kind of far away, but I don't want to stay at Ismar Marks house anymore I mean, did you hear the description of Esmeralda? She sounds beautiful. We could have a celebrity sponsor Oh, that's that's really important to have a brand ambassador. Yeah Yeah, the problem is is that like I'm kind of used to being the hot one You know, I don't want to like confuse people, you know, I don't wanna like confuse people. You know what I mean? Right.

Well Esmeralda would still need arm candy. True, true. So it would be a collab. Yeah, yeah, you can collab with Esmeralda. Okay, yeah, Esmeralda X Jen's collab? You will certainly need to collab with her if you wish to defeat Strahd. She has much knowledge when it comes to hunting vampires.

Okay. And speaking of vampires, friends, one card remains. Oh yeah. Your enemy, Strahd, is a creature of darkness, whose powers are beyond mortality. This card will lead you to him! She places the card down. All of the candles in this room flare up. You see a flash from the crystal ball. And then on this blood red silken shawl,

you see the final card, which bears a ghost holding a lantern. The ghost card. Oh, this one is so cool looking. It's me. She closes her eyes, looks far off into the distance. Within the castle, you will find your enemy. He will face you in the Father's Tomb.

The Father's Tomb? The father's tomb? The father's tomb. Is it Ismarq's dad? Okay, so we are burying a father today? Yes. Is that the tomb that you are seeing? This is not the boy dad I speak of. Okay, okay.

I speak of the boy dad of all boy dads. Barahov Vanzarovich. Oh, Strahd's dad. with that of all boy dads. Ah! Barov Von Zorovich. Oh, Strahd's dad. The man for whom this land is named. You must seek him within Castle Ravenloft. There, Strahd awaits you. Okay.

So, seems like we're going to the Abbey. So first, okay, yeah, can we push the funeral? Or do we do the funeral like now and then go to the Abbey? So first, okay, yeah, can we push the funeral or do we do the funeral like now and then go to the Abbey? Why don't we do sort of like a fly by at the funeral? Bop in, bop out. Yeah. I know, we just have so many things to get for it. Right.

All right. Right, let's start to, oh my god. We could get everything and drop it off and just be like, have a good funeral, mention spud fuckers, and then we're off. Can we just ask, madam, we don't wanna pay for anything else because we've already spent a great deal of time. Actually, can I, I want a reading for my love life.

What? Just one card for my love life. I don't have any advice for your love life, but I do know that you have made a connection of sorts. Do you know if it was on LinkedIn? Yes. I believe that the Night Mother has reached out to you. The Night Mother? Indeed. If she has contacted you in the way I think she has, then you must seek her,

for she will aid you even further in your quest to defeat Strahd. How do I reach back to her? You must seek the Megalith. Seek? Okay, okay, I've seen it, okay. Seek the Megalith. She was once strong in this land, but the presence of the Morning Lord has turned the tides. Some say that the mists once answered to

her but then Strahd turned the night mother's witches against her and now the mists is both his power and prison. Seek the Megalith and you will know more. Okay, that is so crazy. Now I know you've got a funeral to get to, but before you leave, I've got one final gift to aid you on your journey. Um, and she, from within the folds of her clothing, produces a smaller deck, presses it into your hand, and says, this is the deck of inspiration.

Use it at your most dire moments Okay, I feel so dire about my love life right now. I'm gonna use it immediately So this is the deck of inspiration Once per day you can pull a card from the deck and you get a random effect to use at the moment of your choosing Oh, but every time you pull a card. I also get to pull one to use on enemies too. Ooh. I think it would be best if you wait until you have a private moment.

Okay, yeah, edging, okay. Yeah, it might be too graphic, we don't know. I already have this picture of a nipple. I show her my picture of a nipple. Oh, that's good stuff. I ask for consent first. May I share with you this picture of a nipple? Do you consent to seeing a picture of a nipple? Fuck yeah, babe. Show me that nipple.

It's super tasteful. Oh, I flashed my tasteful nipple picture. My tasteful nitpick. Okay. No wonder he was gootening. So we have another favorite ask. It's just like, you're here so you know the Burger Master. We're throwing a funeral slash soft opening for spud fuckers. And we were hoping you've got a great vibe going on in here. Any way you could help us out with some like blue and yellow lights for the funeral. Just as a favor to the burglar master. I suppose I could arrange something for you, yes. Okay great, that's the decorations done.

Jyns, she actually thinks for a second and says, ah that lantern you carry. Yes, oh is that the one that the ghost has has I hold up the ghost card and look at my lantern Our pasts often shed a light upon our future do they not? That is so crazy. That is so true. Let me inspect that for a moment She holds this lantern up. You know that it had a black burning candle in it. Yes. There's something on the side here. She a black burning candle in it. Yes. There's something on the side here. She touches it with her hand,

shoves away a little rust, and you see there's actually a little switch. It turns out that you can switch the color of the light to whatever you want. Whoa, okay. So we can, Nyack the whole time can flick it back and forth between blue and yellow. Well don't I have to go to the Abbey with you guys?

Well, we'll figure it out. Is there anything else I can do for you? I have a question. Of course. Marina was like talking about her mom, and I was wondering, is Strahd her dad? Strahd is many things, but he is not her father. This I know for certain.

Strahd sees something in Marina. Strahd has had many brides, many people he has pursued over the years, and often they have a way of being reborn, stuck within the mist, cursed to reappear and be hunted by him once more. She reminds him of an ex. Wow.

Oh, that is such a toxic drop. That's so toxic. Such a toxic drop. He's so toxic. Yeah, just to have someone be like, oh my God, I really like you, you remind me of my ex. Yeah, that's so obnoxious. Okay, so I'm what, an imitation of something you love?

Yeah, give me an earring. A duplicate of something you love? I hold up myself with teeth. I like this guy less every day. I like you. I almost dislike him as much as I dislike his mark. The dude's so weird. It's so good that we don't have to deal with him

now that he wasn't pulled as a card. Okay, yeah, oh my God, thank God. All right, well, madam, you've been great. We really appreciate you. Yeah, he's been really good. I'm gonna tip her one gold. Oh, thank you. Can we expect you at the funeral soft opening?

If I am meant to be there, I will be there. What's the return to policy on my doll? Like if it is cursed and it tries to kill me or something? No refunds. Everything is final. That makes sense. I have one last question. If you were to make a potato and top it with whatever your art desire, what would you put on your potato? This is good. What is your favorite potato topping?

Focus grouping. Sky's the limit. Well, you said- Anything goes- Blue sky. Except it has to be vegan. Okay, so whatever the vegan form of of pickled pigs tongues would be oh, it could be like bacon bacon. Yeah It's cured it could be a hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you so much. What about cheese?

Chia of course. Yes nut cheese as much as I can get not cheese, right? Okay. Okay. All right Well, I wish you the very best. Please, you have a dangerous journey ahead, but I hope I have armed you as best I can. You really have. Can I pull everyone together for a group hug? I just feel like we had such an emotional afternoon together. Yeah.

I feel closer to everyone. Bring it in. I'll be next to Bluetooth. No. Come here, everybody. No. Come on everybody. No. Come on, ow. The fuck are you doing?

What? You're so fuzzy. You got jangly ankles, you know that? Holy shit. Me? Yeah. He just knows exactly what to make fun of. My hand shakes above my bow.

You run the talk, Mr. Breathe Too Loud. Me? I'll never breathe again. Joke's on you, I hold my breath. Let's get the fuck out of here. OK, we have to go, because Jen's is turning purple. OK, tell Builder after sucking that. Hate that guy.

Yeah. Oh, cool. OK. All right, great. So you've gotten this reading. You've gotten a decorative light for the funeral. Great. Okay, so decorations are taken care of.

We're just doing the sort of Christmas light version of you know, sometimes instead of hanging Christmas lights, people just put like a spotlight that like shines. Yeah. Green and red lights on their. No ladders necessary. We're gonna do that. Also, how long do funerals go?

Because I can do silent image, so I could play some friends in the background for 10 minutes. Oh great, that's really good. In the funeral. Yeah. That's kind of a counts as decoration. Let's do that. Okay, and then we wanna make sure we get the best deal, because we're hoping this is kind of a one-pop shop

over here at Bildrass. Yeah, I have- And we can get potatoes and stuff. I just thought another stop, because we're doing the funeral in a church. Yeah. And before, when I've gone to see churches, they have little babies in a manger. Oh, okay. And we have a donkey Fitbit. We have a baby Bluetooth.

Okay. Because we're doing an activity scene. Okay. As part of the decoration. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I'm, can I be a lamb? You Oh, uh, maybe? Yeah, maybe. Can I be a lamb? You can, yeah, yeah.

I can be a lamb. Or living nativity. Alright, well this rocks. Okay, now that we don't have a lot of money, because we spent so much money on dolls, I have an idea to get us the best deal, okay? This is called a flash mob. They're so funny, they're so interesting, and I'm going to kick

in the door of the Drats and start my minute long dance. And try to enchant Bill Drat. Whoa, what the fuck? Just watch the dance, I just start popping and locking and try to do it for a full minute without being stopped. Oh my god, I'm being robbed! Purple! Purple! Give him! No, I'm not robbing you, I'm gifting you something. This is fun. Can I silent image to basically make it look like almost like mirrors,

like a bunch of mirrors behind Jen's mirroring and doing this movement? Oh my god, the wizard is back! No, it's fine, I'm not a wizard, I'm a dance wizard, if anything. I just keep breaking it down. Just keep watching, don't question it. Just keep watching for a minute. Just keep watching. You see this man, this cranky, balding man,

wearing a simple vest, points to you, and then rising from the back where he's standing, you see this muscly stock boy wearing like a drab tunic just gets up and starts walking towards you. Running around but still dancing. Get him, powerful, powerful, get him. No, don't get anyone, we're dancing, it's a flash mob. They're funny, you'll enjoy it.

They're so funny, you're gonna like it. Can I clock work Orange's eyes so he can't move away? Yeah. Don't worry, it's fun. It's funny. We're having a good time. Stop, okay, give me a persuasion he can't move away. Yeah. Don't worry, it's fun. It's funny. We're having a good time. Stop, okay, give me a persuasion check

or a performance check. Okay. Can I, because I did silent image, can it count as help action? Yeah, yeah. All right, great. 22. Shit.

There you go. You see that this big stocky man lunges towards you, but then just starts moving to the beat a little bit. He starts clapping his hands. Yeah. He's funny. He's funny. Uncle, uncle, it's funny. We knew this would happen.

Yeah, I start doing the Night at the Roxbury hip hop with him. It's a reference, it's funny, we're doing the thing. Okay, this is pretty good actually. Yeah, I like this. Hello. So that's an enthralling performance. I can choose up to four creatures that watch and listen to be performed for a minute They must make wisdom saving throws and they're charmed by me if it fails for an hour

Okay, I'm gonna make a wisdom save because I was watching. Oh, yeah, do you choose to do it? Yes, of course. Okay, so they got a seven and a five. Yes Yeah, you you walk into this room, blast out these lights, mirror image starts going, you just put on a party for this man and his weird nephew. No, I got a four. I actually got an 18. Wow, okay.

I was concentrating so hard on the silent image, so I wasn't like fully engrossed. Okay, so I've charmed everyone else. Okay, this rocks, hi, wow. What can I do? Wow. Yes, okay, so we've charmed everyone else. Okay, this rocks. Hi, wow, what can I do? Wow. Yes, okay, so we need. My brother's the man.

Barrels of potatoes. Okay. We need sort of a cart of everything vegan, so like bacon, sour cream, cheese. Seems good to me. Yeah, okay, so bacon, sour cream, cheese, scallions. We're thinking, yeah, chives as well. Anything else?

Maybe do just like some like salt and pepper type situation. Tons of like hot sauce too. Hot sauce, we love that. We're doing a baked potato bar. We're bringing spud fuckers to Barovia. Should we do cilantro? It's polarizing.

Yeah, we can do it. I mean, people choose. Yeah, if we're having hot sauce, some people like to temper it. Yeah, so yeah do it. I mean, people choose, yeah. If you're having hot sauce, some people like to temper it, so yeah. I'm going to give my duplicate to you. Yeah. To try, you can use this. Yeah, and you know, yeah.

How much do you think it would be, and remember, we're friends, because we are sort of promoting you by promoting the fact that Bildratz is the place where you do flash mobs and stuff. Yeah. And I think some people saw it. I'd like look out for any scary haunted What's the family and friends discount? Yeah, I usually keep the curtains drawn in case there are zombies and stuff walking around

People trying to rob me sure but wow, you've really brought some joy back into the village. This is amazing Yeah, so for everything you're looking for back into the village, this is amazing. So for everything you're looking for, normally I charge the outsider rate, you know, 10 times what the actual going price is. But I like you. I like those numbers. I like you a lot, I like your business acumen.

I would love to be like a silent partner or something. Yeah, I mean, no, but thank you. Okay, understood, understood. As long as you can just keep dancing, wow. Love that stuff. I just do a roll with my stomach and my chest. While talking. Whoa.

Never seen such thin legs that can bend so well. Well. I think of all the squats I've seen Jen's attempt. Okay, let's see. So you want the potatoes and all the fixings, anything else? Yes, please. Signage, do you have signage? Because we need people to know.

Yeah, we've got the lights. What's the bacon and this, yeah. Yeah, we need a spud fucker sign. And we also need a cradle. And coop. What? Oh, and a lamb costume, fuck me. Oh, god damn it.

Okay, I really wish I could help you out with the cradle. And the lamb costume. You might just need to kill a lamb and climb inside. That's fine. Okay, do you have a lamb? We're vegan, so we don't wanna kill a lamb. We just want- Okay, understood, understood. It's stuff.

Okay, yeah. I do have some extra wood and paint. Yes, and if you wanna paint it, or have your strong guy here. And it just needs to say spud fuckers. It has to say spud fuckers, and then if you could also make a coupon book that says one potato free, asterisk, fixins, R1399.

Okay. X-I-N. 1399 is good, that's fair. Yeah, that's pretty fair. And can you drop that off at the church? Yes, and you can drop it off, we can do delivery. Yeah. Okay, great.

Let me see here. So we want, yes, I will deliver all of this. So you want me to be in charge of the decorations? Well, we're in charge of the decorations. Yes, well, we've got the lights handled. Yeah, we just need a sign. We're in charge. We told you, just telling you where it goes.

Yeah, we just need a sign. Oh, also, you know, let's do a second sign, real tasteful that just says, shout out to the burger master. He would have loved Spudfuckers. He would have loved Spudfuckers. Oh, it might be nice to do a picture of the burger master and then below it a quote. Yeah.

Holding a potato. He did that Spudfuck, oh maybe. That says, I love Spudfuckers. Yeah. I wish I lived to see this Spudfucker. Yes, okay that's it, that's what we can do. Yeah. Okay. Maybe it says like, in my death, cuisine is reborn.

Yes. Yeah, that says that at the bottom. Okay, so he's going to make a sleight of hand to determine how good the sign is. Okay, I give him an out-of-action. Oh, great. All right, you rolled a three. I do not give him bardic inspiration.

You rolled a three and a 10. Okay. It says what you described. All right. The words are on there. Great. The paint is, he's just got like one color. It's just kind of this like blood red paint.

He like slaps it on the sign, tries to draw a potato, but it just looks like a turd, unfortunately. Yeah. Is this the first draft or is this like? We can looks like a turd, unfortunately. Yeah. Is this the first draft, or is this like? We can tell people that a kid drew it. Oh! Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we can tell people a kid drew it. Okay, yeah, so what are we, you know, friends and family discount, what are we looking at here? Yeah, what are we looking at? Okay, let's see, I think. And before you charge me, take a good, hard look at the sign that you drew. Yeah.

You're looking at 15 gold. And before you charge me, take a good hard look at the sign that you drew. Yeah. Yeah. You're looking at 15 gold. Okay, and we've got this here, if you're sort of into a bartering situation. Wow. Oh, yeah. Rare relic, never been seen before. Let me investigate this.

Yeah. Oh, Onyx, no, don't give him that. Yeah, don't give him that. It's too valuable. No, it's not. I'll just pay him the gold. That's worth 25 gold. We're losing 10 gold here.

Planning to be queef it to my son. Yeah. But, you know, times are hard. No, mama, I was gonna hang her from my bunk bed. Oh yeah, yeah, you have bunk beds, so you can choose which one you want to sleep in each night. Right. You're such a good boy, mama.

And when I piss on one, I just go to the other one. Oh my god. Would somebody shut this kid up? Do you like the sun or not? I keep dancing. This is a great sun, I will take it, thank you so much. Perfect, okay. Yes, that'll cover everything.

Perfect, all right, we'll see you tomorrow for the potatoes, the potato bar, and the sign. Yeah. Maybe we'll get a second sign. Yeah, we'll figure it out. All right. Okay, great Thank you so much for visiting. Thank you so much I have a question if you were to put toppings on a potato, what would you put on them? Okay, oh my favorite potato topping you see the big lumbering nephew comes over and he says hot dog. Oh Put a hot dog on it I mean, it's it's like a potato instead of a I don't know what animal that is. So it is vegan It's cuz it's not a dog. It could be vegan. I mean we can get vegan dogs

Okay, I'm just like I'm picturing a hot dog right through a baked potato and someone Bites potato as the bun that actually does sound pretty good. Really? I was gonna say it sounds so off-putting Really? Oh, it sounds great to me. Okay, and a hot dog is beef. Can I actually pull you guys aside? What kind of animal is a beef? Can I actually pull you guys aside real quick? Dog potato is what we call it. Okay, I don't know that these guys have the best like business acumen considering that they like have their shades closed all day and no one's in here. And I like to put chicken feet on mine.

I don't know if you can do a vegan version of chicken feet, but that's what I put on mine. They probably, I mean, they don't need their feet. Chicken might be vegan. Chicken might be vegan. I don't know what that word means. Yeah, that's fine. Look. It means better than you I yeah, I bring these guys in again. I don't think these guys know stuff in general

You know, yeah, you might be right But I mean you both did respond to the idea of the hot dog inside of a potato I liked that but I mean that's parallel thinking I've been thinking about that for a long time Okay. Okay. We need people to come to the funeral, so we should get away from this place that has no one in it, right? Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay, so the last thing you're gonna need to do

before you can go to the funeral is get some villagers. Right. Oh, James, can you do your flash mob again? Yes. In the heart of town. I need to rest real quick. I take a short rest. And then I can do it again.

Brother, are you okay? Where is the place with the most foot traffic? Oh, that would probably be the town square. Okay, town square. Or maybe right outside of the Blood on the Vine Tavern. That's really the only place that people go. Great, okay. Let's go to the town square and I'll just start flossing.

All right, awesome. Go ahead and give me a performance check to see how many people you can get. I will silent image again so that it looks like a bunch of mirrors that are moving around so it's kind of trippy as Jen does this. 19. 19. Okay.

Great. And I'm playing MGMT's Electric Feel as I just roll my body in the middle of the town square. And my plan is for the enthralling performance is I would like to find the four coolest people and have them talk about how sick Spudfucker seems like it's gonna be and how much they love Burger Master and want to honor his life.

Are you dancing with the sign? Yes, oh yeah, I'm doing the sign spinning. Happy like an electrician. Oh, there's another vampire in town. Go beat him up. Looks like some strong another vampire in town. Go beat him up. Looks like some strong zombies got out there. That's not true. The only thing coming back to life from the dead

is the early arts and that indie piano music. Don't know what that means. Gonna kill you with a pitchfork. Don't even think about it. You do see a husband and wife pair come out of their dilapidated cottage. The woman has a pitchfork. The man is holding an alarm clock

that she's just gonna bash you with. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys look like you could use some potatoes. You should use that pitchfork to spear a spud. Come with us to spudfuckers. Boop, boop doo, doo, doo. I'm just rolling my body in the background. Here yourself a spud. Doppings not included.

Coupon for free potatoes. I'm handing out coupons. Free potatoes. Oh, that seems very nice. Yeah, we'd love free potatoes. Yeah, so where do we go for these free potatoes? That's going to be at the church. And it's also, the burger master is dead. I'm sorry for your loss.

And we're going to be celebrating his life with potatoes and friends and family. A soft opening. Yep. Silver lining and small admission fee to the funeral. I already charged him for it. It's happening. Yeah. Of course. Do you want my loan? A donation.

Yeah. Well, a donation to the church, of course. Do you want my loan, plot? No. Yes. Yeah, we do. Thank you. Here you go.

We, we, sure, but we also want your cash. Yeah, that's okay. Don't forget that when you come. Is there anyone else cooler looking around? No. Just us. Just me. You're the only people, okay. We're the only people, everyone else is zombies or rats. My name is Lavinia and this is Jerko.

Okay, and this is the best place in town to get people. Okay, okay, maybe I'm going to send Bluetooth because I think that we can telepathically communicate. I'm going to send Bluetooth back to the manor to look through the dead guy's desk and see if he has contacts of anyone that might be cool to come to the funeral. Okay, I'm gonna grab like a bell

and just start ringing it and be like, the burger master is dead! Funeral? Tomorrow? We're thinking? I thought it was today. What? I thought it was today. I thought it's tomorrow, it's late. I thought it was today. What? I thought it was today.

I thought it was tomorrow, it's too late. It was supposed to be today. Oh fuck, okay sorry. At 11? Sorry everyone, it's today, we're doing the funeral for the Burger Master. He's dead. The funeral is now. The funeral is now. Come on.

Well it's, we need to prepare the fix-it bar. Well it's soon. I think I might have told. Start lining up now. I might have told Build Rat that it's tomorrow. So we're gonna, So let's circle back. Bluetooth is gonna need to swing by and say to do it today.

Bluetooth is busy because we are looking into windows, trying to cast duplicate to make a cradle for the definitive scene. Okay, Nyack, go back and tell Build Rat that we need it for today. Nyack moonwalks back. Yeah, okay. I'm still dancing to electric feel.

You're not really from here, but the last time somebody came into town and started shouting loud things and saying people were dead, everyone just stayed put and waited until they left. So that's really, I don't know if that's gonna get people out on the streets. Okay, we need to start getting back to the streets. Free potatoes.

Face to face contact, okay? You're all sitting in your apartments on your cell phones. What did I tell you? I got rid of my cell phone and now I'm just face to face with my friends. I got rid of my alarm clock. Yeah, as you should because it was wasting your time Jericho. Yeah. It's Jericho actually.

Jericho, you look very vitamin D deficient. I think you need to be outside and I think you should go to the church. You know what? You don't have to come necessarily. Oh no, oh look at that. Look, here comes the Burger Master's son, Ismark the Lesser.

Fuck. Why does everybody here suck? Who's cool, where do cool people hang out? What do you want Ismark? Is this all the people you've gathered? Yeah. Are all preparations ready? Your dad is not super popular, we're doing our best. Who's cool? Where do cool people hang out? What do you want, Ismar? Is this all the people you've gathered? Yeah, so far. Are all the preparations ready?

Your dad is not super popular. We're doing our best. We thought that there was a communication issue. Just real- Like from you. The funeral needs to happen. No, no, no. Like right now.

Real quick. Yes. What have you done for the funeral? What have you been doing? I was writing some words to remember my father and also carving this sunflower that he might give as a gift to the morning Lord when he goes to the radiant realm.

Okay. All right, yeah, no, that checks out. Yeah, no, that sounds really meaningful, but I think you should have been in charge of contacting his friends because we don't know who they are. We don't know who their dad's friends are. You sent us out to gather a crowd

for your dad's funeral without even saying like, oh, this was his best friend. Oh, this was his best friend. I could have carved a sunflower. Yeah. I could have carved a sunflower. I could have written the thing. I could have done it in two seconds, by the way.

Yeah, I've been ringing the bell. These Jericho over here saying it's wrong, that I shouldn't be ringing. It's Jericho. Jericho? Jericho. Jericho. Great.

By the way, we went out of pocket for some of these decorations, and I hope you're willing to reimburse us Yeah, we will need to be reimbursed Of course we spent 45 gold on the potatoes actually I have this amazing relic of my father's I'll take it. It's this silver Yeah, I've seen it before I'll take it. Okay. Yes, of course. I think that will actually there's another one floating around of this So actually it's yeah, it's not worth that much, but I will take it as a starter payment. This one could be a counterfeit, we don't know.

The real one is worth 400 gold. I shudder to think what the other one is going for. We'll take this one, we'll definitely take this one. Another asset. I will give it to you once the funeral is over and you're preparing to leave with Marina. So I'm going to run back and grab her and we'll meet you at the church. Okay. Okay, great Hey everybody, okay. I know you don't like it when people come to town, right? But the fact is we got potatoes we got fixin's it's spud fuckers

The burger master is dead, but we've got his herbs and we've got his spices. Okay So you can stay inside on your phones or you can be a phone, okay? The choice is yours. And we're not charging that much money. Shock you like an electric eel. A super cheap funeral. If you were looking out the window,

you are charmed by me, okay? So let's not forget that. I do another belly roll. Jins, all right, I will say, with your passionate words, Jins, all right, I will say, with your passionate words, yeah, I'll let you add a D6 to your roll. I'll let you give yourself bardic inspiration. All right. Ooh, six, that's a 25.

Nice. Okay. All right, that does bump it up a little bit. Let me see here. Somebody cooler than Jerko. Hey, I'm the only man in the village that owns a clock, so fuck you. Well, not anymore. Well, you just gave it to me, Jerko. Hey, I'm the only man in the village that owns a clock. So fuck you Well, not anymore. You just gave it to me Jericho. Oh damn So now I'm the only man in the village with the clock, but I don't even think it was making your life better

You know, you're right. I just spent all day looking at my clock I know Sure, sure Now you are free Yeah, I'm free. What are we doing now? Yeah, we're going to the funeral slash soft opening Yeah, okay. Anyone else in this town? I keep talking to Jerko. You do see three more people Warily poke their heads out from their houses and scurry over to you

Is it true that there's a sparkbuckers? Yes, we have potatoes and all the fixings. Yes. Yeah, the burger master dead. Yes Yes, oh no. Yeah, but But you have a chance to mourn him and be a part of his life's goal, which is spot fuckers. His legacy. His legacy, really. You said potatoes. We have potatoes for free, asterisk. And it's all vegan.

And it's all vegan, asterisk. Also, do any of you have a griddle? I could borrow. I have this big wooden bowl. It's a little work on you. That's great. All right, I'm also gonna poke my head into the blood on the vine,

because the people in there were a little cooler. Those are those boisterous ladies that I think owned it, right? Smart. We want some business owners. Hey, just letting you know, the Burger Master is dead. Ismark was being a fucking freak and just keeping him around in there for a few days, but we're out here,

we're making sure that people know when people are dead and we're not sleeping in houses with corpses. In fact, we have a no corpse policy at Spudfuckers, except this one time when we are doing a soft lunch. One funeral just to soft lunch. Yeah, well, it's kind of the same like, this one time, never again. This one time, we'll allow corpses around the potatoes,

but we don't fuck the potatoes, we don't have corpses around the potatoes. Ismark does not work for us, we don't like him, okay? Okay. You can get potatoes for free, asterisk. Vegan too. We'll see you over there, all right? All right, so, hello. Hi.

You're telling me that you are starting a rival business here? No, it's not a rival business because you guys don't have a potato bar, right? Damn. A rising tide. Yeah, here's the thing is. We're all gonna be fine.

Everyone's going to be at your wine bar and they're going to have wines and then think, I'm actually a little too drunk. And then they call it a night, whereas if they had potatoes to have wines and then think, I'm actually a little too drunk. And then they call it a night. Whereas if they had potatoes to fill themselves up, they would sober up enough to go back and get another wine. Okay, so you're saying we should maybe bring some wine to the party.

I like that, I like that a lot. I like this, okay, we charge a little for the wine. Maybe the first glass is free, something like that. Alright, roll out the barrels. Let's get this wizard of the wines on the road. Let's do a cash bar. There's a profit share on the wine because it's in our establishment.

Okay, yeah, great. And actually the funeral is right now, it turns out. There's some confusion there. Oh, okay, wow, a flash funeral. Yeah, flash funeral. All right, we'll gather up our wines and we'll be there in just a second. I'll see you there.

You are the only cool people in the world. Can I go say that? Do you actually have an empty barrel I could use as a cradle? Oh, that's a great idea. Yes, that's a great idea. What do we need the fucking cradle for? Do you have any wool?

For us on the Tasty Scene, it's decoration for the funeral. Let's go, let's go to the fucking funeral. You know, my mother, she raised us in a barrel as a crib. Oh, that is strange. We are from the Wizard of the Wines Vineyard, that is where we are from, but now we live here to sell the wines. That's great.

Yes. Okay. You're the only cool people in town. All right, I moonwalk out. Two electric field. Okay, yes, we're coming. This is good, that was a good get. It feels like the time has really turned. Well, now we got like six people coming, this is great.

Cash bar. Yeah, but that was the first one, so. Yeah, but you're not as fun as a wine ant. Jerko. Please. Can I get my clock back? I feel like I'm, I feel bad about this. No, no.

Fucking champ. You are a different person when you have your clock. And honestly, this is who you really are. Nayok sits down looking at his clock. It's a cool clock. Sometimes I've just set an alarm just to feel something. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, can we go to the funeral, please?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the way, I'm preparing. Everybody follow me. No, we're not, I run past Jericho. We're the leaders. On the way, I'm preparing myself. I'm gonna disguise self to be Mary. And I'm gonna put Bluetooth in a little crib. Oh, and I have gonna put blue juice in a little crib.

Oh, and I have this guy's self too. I'm gonna be a lamb. Jens is fuming. Okay, we have a nativity scene for a fucking funeral. It's something for everybody. Some people will be coming for the nativity, some for the funeral, some for the spud fuckers. No one's coming for the fucking funeral. It's something for everybody. Some people will be coming for the Nativity, some for the funeral, some for the spud fuckers. No one's coming for the Nativity.

They come for the spuds and stay for the Nativity. Why is that? Specifically a Christmas thing. Okay. Well they view the Nativity as they eat their potato and then they're hungry and they get seconds. And I think that the Nativity could be a permanent installation of spudfuckers.

That's not a bad idea. Imagine everybody's taking their spuds to go. But if they have something to view, if they have a nativity scene, that's multiple trips. You know, you could use the extra dolls to fill out the patativity scene. Oh, that's a good idea. Because there's those other guys.

And oh, we get to Fitbit, because Fitbit is actually what started this all. You could have the three fries men. Wow, god damn, that's good. Really good. That's really good. Good dog, good dog. Wow.

Good dog. Very good dog. I scratch his chin. I'm gonna scratch his butt. Hrp, hrp, hrp, hrp. Okay, he's getting horny again, let's go. Okay, so you go to the church. Father Donavich is there to meet you.

You install a potativity scene. You set up your decorations. Delightfully. You set up the free potato bar asterisk. Yeah. And then when everything is ready, you all gather around the coffin and lift it up and carry it into the dimly lit graveyard.

Above, the red sun flickers in the fog like a wound wrapped in gauze. And at your feet you see countless headstones, their names faded beyond recognition. All seems quiet as you trudge over to a deep ditch that Donovich prepared in your absence. You slowly lower the casket into the ground and as you do so, Donavich pulls out a small wooden pendant and holds it aloft. The polished wood gleams weakly in the morning haze as he speaks. Oh, great dawn father, please part these mists and send forth a beam of your glory so that brother Kullian might escape this realm of dread and lie forever upon the blessed white sands

of the radiant bay. May he sip Ambrosia cocktails and swim in the daybreak sea and look down and see this beautiful, what was it, spudfuckers? Spudfuckers that has risen like a beautiful sunflower in the place where he fell. That was good. That was really good. That was really good.

Subtle product placement. You're the only cool person around here. Yes, thank you, just don't tell anyone about- You and the wine moms. Don't tell anyone about Dora when you're on. Oh yeah. We need to have after-party with you and just the wine moms and then us.

Yeah. Because this is a great good- Yes, absolutely. And it's like your vampire brother can come. Yeah. Okay, sick. Yes, the potatoes have blood in them. I don't think they do. No. No.

We'll figure it out. Anyway, Donavich holds out his hands to the gathered congregation and asks if anyone would like to say something. And you see that Ismark and Marina walk over and they lay the carved sunflowers that they made at the headstone and then they kneel, whisper something into the ground and then return to where they were standing. And then Donavich nods solemnly and says, very good, anyone else, any final words for the program? I guess I'll say something quickly.

I just wanna announce the Spudfuckers loyalty program, wherein if you purchase a card for just a small fee and you return, we'll punch the card and your 10th trip to Spudfuckers is 50% off. Yeah, and it's really, I don't know if you guys have been around whole bunches, but they're so fun. Yeah.

Yeah. And I guess, you know, we're talking a lot about business today, but what we're really doing here is we're mourning a man, a father to... To a son. Let's face it, more than just his skin, because we all felt like his kin, didn't we? We did.

And we would take walks in the morning and we would talk of our hopes and dreams. And the Burger Master, he would say to me, they called me the Burger Master, but what I'd really like to be is a Potato Master. I doubted it at first, I really did. And there was a time in our lives where we didn't speak much, but.

You see, Ismark's making a what the fuck gesture with his hands. You know what, Ismark, you and your sister whispered into the ground and didn't share with the class, so if Jens wants to share with the class and put on a show and make the funeral better for it. And it was actually, yeah, it was, it was, um, is Mark that we really, uh, feuded about because he was really disappointed in his Mark, but I was trying to get him to stop, um, disappointed in his Mark, but he couldn't. And ultimately, um, his Mark is a fucking

loser. So, but this morning when is Mark handed us a cup of oats that he fucked in the night and jizzed into. Right. That can't be proven. Please, at my father's funeral I want to bring this up. How dare you? Anyway, okay, so we came back together, all right, bonding over sort of just being disappointed in Ismark. And we decided that we were going to build a potato business together. And when he got sick, and I look off, I knew that I would have to make it.

No, sorry, I look at his casket. We would have to make it. Thank you everyone. And remember, the Fixins are extra. Can I silent image just so many tears coming down Jen's cheeks? My eyes are not red, they're incredibly clear. I can see tears falling out as I step back into the line.

Go ahead and give me a persuasion check with advantage there. Okay, great. Matt 20. Oh my god! Wow. Earned it. Un-fucking believable. You see that despite it all,

despite everything you have done, despite all of the awful things that you have said and done to Ismark, you see his face just buckles. And he says, I wish I could have known him like you. I'm like, no. The silent answer is no. You see his face just buckles. And he says, I wish I could have known him like you. Oh my god.

Oh my god. The silent image of Jen's crying lasts for 10 minutes. No one will ever know my pain, I say, with a just regular look on my face, not knowing what it feels like to cry. You see that Jerko is weeping openly. Now that's a speech you can set your watch to. Shut up, Jerko.

Wow, Donavich takes a moment to compose himself and says, that was strange but beautiful, as if it was pulled from another world, another place, but it still rang true. Does anyone else have anything they wish to say it would be foolish to follow that but if you want to you can try You see that everyone looks around but they're all so moved by Vigin's advertisement Right now I'm really regretting not getting the strad ventriloquist doll for Bluetooth to do a set with.

Wow. And after a moment, Donavich goes to begin pouring dirt into the grave, but as he reaches for the shovel, you hear a voice say, actually father, there's one more person who'd like to speak. And from the mists in the back of the graveyard, you see a shadow step forward.

It materializes into an elf with cloudy gray skin and a simple earthen tunic. Reigen? When he sees you three, he winks and then addresses the crowd, his voice shifting and growing more sinister as he speaks. Please forgive the intrusion, my name is Rhaegon, and my master has a few words he'd like to say. As he says master, he gestures towards the sky, his face breaking into a wicked grin. I suggest you all stand back.

He's arriving now. Suddenly, thunderous hoofbeats fill your ears. The air grows hot and thick with the scent of brimstone. And then a burning cloud erupts from the sky. It churns and hisses, then slowly dissipates to reveal a strange contraption hovering within. It looks like a helicopter, but made of flame and shadow. Four burning blades spin above a jet-black carapace, and a plume of fire dances on its tail. As it draws near, you see the entire craft is lined with the bones of a long dead horse.

Its grinning skull mounted on the cockpit. The mechanism lands, singeing the grass as it settles. As it does, Regan steps forward and opens the craft's large metal door. From the shadows steps a pale man, clad in regal attire and a blood-red cloak. He descends to the ground as if walking through air, and the mist swirls reverently at his feet. Before you stands the dreadlord of Castle Ravenloft, the dark master of this realm, and the reason you are here. Strahd von Zarovich. We would like to lodge a complaint. And that's where we'll end our session. Just a giant vein appears in Jett's forehead.

It was really hard to not just be like, oh, we're on a reality show now. Because that was so intro of the host coming down. Hosts are always showing up in helicopters. So you guys, we'll talk about this more over on our Patreon for the short rest, patreon.com slash nadpod, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D, don't sing yet. Wee!

Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Yeah, I'll shout out some stuff we got from the P.O. box recently. Alinka F sent us a letter detailing the insane adventures of the teens they DM for. There's some really fun stories in there. Shout out to Butt-Head the Warlock, whose patron is Dale Gribble from King of the Hill. Awesome.

Good to know the kids are respecting the classics. Robert Jason has said Jason Fox D20, which has only ones and twenties on it. That's really fun. Really funny. It's also inspired by one of my favorite comic strips as a kid, so thank you very much for that. And then let's see, Mort Draws sent us all the art and books they've ever made, which is really funny. It's also inspired by one of my favorite comic strips as a kid, so thank you very much for that. And then, let's see, Mort Draws sent us all the art

and books they've ever made, which is really cool. Incredible, we have the full Mort Draws catalog now. I feel like an art collector. I feel like I should be laundering this for some reason. The whole oeuvre. But yes, thank you so much for sending us all that fun stuff, we really appreciate it, folks. Sweet, Jake, you got anything?

Yeah, check out my sub stack, substack.com slash at Jake Hurwitz. Never stop stacking. Woo. Never stop stacking. And you can follow us on social media that we may or may not use,

at CS4ME, at Call These Call, at the extra Zemmell, and at Jake Hurwitz's Jake. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag NADDPOD, that's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. Woo! I'm going to be right back. It's the end of the show and you know what that means?

It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, Later Mixskater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle the dastardly dame. Carpe Liam. Victor T. Balnor's boy. Hoyd's friend. Justin I. Danny Danster.

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soon to be education specialist, John Adams, John Adams Congrats Meg the mail carrier of Bohemia James F Austin S Wayfarer who now has to do something with the trolls get rid of them turn to page 42 keep them turned page 69 Oreo Barpo good barrel Bart Barian Garrett G one big curd Charlie Brown's best friend Renee the monster captain Olivia the enchanting bard and Jared the soap opera cleric who are now performing ballads from the age of stories blue ash Fico Garrett the artificer,

Anthony the raddest of dudes, J, the fairies have returned to debauchery and must now go to the carnal corner. Cantrip Dumbledore the bare onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, Roger L, No Drug thege the Pass-Offist Barbarian, Jean-Lucca, Leon Comore, Legendary Hero of Bohemia from a Future Campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor,

Mios the Great, Joshua S., Alexander, Lins W., Sky the Wise, AKA the dungeon master, Johnny Dude K, the mischief of Natpods familiars, Pavu Eskenar the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile, Kit and their cat, Jake Whale Murphely, Tim M, Dragon Knight 86, Tiles Lamar, TR, MLG Cheeto, Shell B, Kenna's first favorite sprite girl, seeing you all in her hometown Seattle for the Quangle Quest, hope you all have a blast, we'll see you there.

Chet S, Snailus, who's infecting Worcestershire for within. Jared and Olivia who are having a romantic candlelit dinner at the resort now that the triplets left. Papa Sky Days, Meemaw Sky Days, Megan N, Anthony B, Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House Inzunza, Benjamin A, Gimli the Corgi, Papa and Foster's canine friend, Mickle A, Josh H. pilot of the Nightmareverse flight, the two crew blew through, Jennery, Kelsey A, Ethan the mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Ashasaurus, Seth the stroker, bearer of all hog related burdens,

Billy Batson, Tory the Tungsten Dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes, Michael Lyle as the second, Carlby Plumber of the realm, Dex Rittlewell, Ace Dregs Highlord of Critsburg, Vin Diagram, Catamelius the Consumed, Clinton P., Cam the Vampire Frogman, Dean, Jake W. Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, only here for the surf and murve. Dave Nadpod saved my life but stole my wife oh whoa there is a story behind that Steve L Tyler M Alex A Zip it a bakery. Kaylee Katarina C Misty the crispy kitty Kitty really hates Flameskulls. I have to assume you're referring to Hades, but maybe not. Greg W. There's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you.

We love you right back. Baruk Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chupac Aubrey. Boney is dead. Thuff Waterworth. Nick. Amy. Aegis Canary. Ignition Class Petal Storm.

Charlemagne, not the god. Oh, okay. DJ Dramamine. Alrik Von Zarovich. My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show. Jen the Rowdy, Caitlin H., and finally, Buttwax. What a one to end on. Thank you all so much.

We love you. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Goodbye, sweeties.