Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep. 11: The Man in the Mirror

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

While hosting a literal feast for crows, the Triplets piece together the truth behind Vallaki’s most sinister secret! Jens calls in a hit, Nyack stays hydrated and Onyx gets fired up as the Trinyvale X Strahd Crossover continues!Support NaddPod on Patreon! - Patreon.com/NaddpodCREDITSEditing by Brian MurphyProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMUSIC INCLUDES:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford“Where is the Manager??” by Emily Axford"Barovian Tango" by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford“The Little Moon” by Emily Axford“Obsidian” by Emily Axford“Lights Out” by Emily Axford"The Gate" by Emily Axford"Oh Melora" by Emily Axford"The Night Lotus" by Emily Axford"A Hunkle's Plea" by Emily Axford“Moonsick” by Emily Axford"Trinyvale Closing Theme" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And also Barovia. Bap, Barovia. Ooh, yeah, that one was haunting. It's like my ears are full of bats and spiders. Ooh, scary. So scary. You need a cute. tip, dude. I don't know if you're supposed to use

cute tips anymore, but in Borovia, you can because you can if there's a freaking bat in your ear. It's the official doctor's logic on it. Really, you should just find out if they're a frugivore or an insectivore and then put something to tempt them out of your canal. Just throw a little strawberry or something on the edge of your ear.

Do they eat moths? Or do they eat mangoes? Great question. Depends on what kind of bat. And we're going to find lots of bats in today's session because we are going back to Barovia. I am your Dracula uncle, aka a drunkle, Caldwell Tanner.

Here to bring you another episode of Trinnavale Extrad, and to accomplish that task, I am, of course, joined as always, by my peevish players, Brian Murphy. I want to shout, because I'm burned out, Jens Lindell. Emily Axford. Sentencing someone to die dressed as a bride.

Whoa. It's an ex limier. Such a scene. Creepy. And Jake Hurwitz. Eight-year-old lad who thinks we should kill Victor's dad, Nyack of the Randolph. Oh, have you not lifted the disguise?

I don't think so. If it's been less than an hour, then no. It's actually, yeah, it's melting away as we speak so that the scene can remain creepy and not weird. And I've been licking the lollipop. Ew. It has hair on it. Hey.

Would you guys like to stop licking a lollipop and start licking a recap? Yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah. In the room below the Abbey's belfry, Bluetooth watched as a lute play Lobster Mutant, a.k.a. Lutant, played music to calm the strange figure, hidden under a shroud in the room center. The Luton also shouted at the shivering figure trapped in a cage on the floor and told him to keep quiet. That figure, of course, was a baby werewolf. We revealed this

on the short rest, and I wanted everyone to know it up top. I should have had Bluetooth mentioned this, but it is a baby werewolf in there. We're even more offended, and we were already mad that the little guy got yelled at. Good dog. Good dog. It's a straight-up scrappy-do in there, gang. Well, if you say it's scrappy dude, we're going to let him die. I'm a scrappy stand. Unable to help the trapped creature, Bluetooth flew downstairs into the sanctuary's main chamber, where he saw several other mutant humanoids preparing for a wedding.

In the center of the room, standing next to a golden sun symbol mounted above a sparkling blue pool, he saw a handsome man cloud in brown monk's robes. While the man prayed, a bat mutant flew in and reported that the baron would be sending five guests to tomorrow's event. Bluetooth tried to explore more but was caught by the man who just smiled and told him to let his masters know that he had created a weapon that could finally defeat Straud

and that soon they would all be free. Bluetooth then hauled ass back to the burgomaster's mansion where you three were busy searching for locked doors and valuables. After an encounter with the baroness, Fiona Wachter, you learned that years ago the baron son Victor had been killed by werewolves and that the baron himself had been bitten. Fortunately, the abbot intervened, reviving Victor and removing the baron's curse. The party then decided to split up.

Jinn's keychain and marina went to investigate Esmeralda's wagon in the nearby stockyard, while Nyack and Onyx sought out Victor in the mansion's attic. You used your burgomaster for a day keys to open the attic trap door and a small drawer in the Baroness's vanity mirror. Inside the drawer you found a small scroll written in a mysterious language. Pocketing the note and putting on the Baroness's wedding dress. Onyx and Nyak... Uttizat, Nyak did set.

It's probably Nyak. I don't know. My memory's not great. You headed up to the attic, where they discovered Victor Velakovich, attempting to create a teleportation circle to leave Borovia. Victor activated the circle and was nearly killed in the ensuing explosion. Meanwhile, at the stockyard,

Jens and company investigated Esmeralda's wagon and also narrowly avoided exploding. Yep. Inside the wagon, Jens found an alchemist fire booby trap, as well as two spell scrolls, a golden carrot, and a note from the wizard Liamon's diary, revealing his first time meeting Esmerelda. Seeing a purple glow emanating from the mansion's attic, Jins went to rendezvous with the other triplets, but first left a feather in Esmeralda's wagon

and a note inviting the Ware Ravens, Irwin and Danica, to dinner at the burgomaster's mansion. You all then reconvened and grilled Victor about his plans, as well as about the Baron and Abbot's relationship. Victor confessed that the Baron sends several barrels of wine and food to the Abbot, but also gets the town hunters to send the abbot any werewolves they capture. Victor then begged you all not to tell his parents about his teleportation experiments and also the servants that he killed and volunteered to describe a fireball spell scroll for you to use. He also managed to translate the old Barovian words written on the small scroll you found in the mirror. Jins then read the words in front of the Baroness's mirror and summoned a ghostly assassin

who leaned in close and whispered a simple question. Who would you have me kill? And that is where we are now. Uh, Jens, you feel this assassin's cold hand still gripping your reflection shoulder. Hmm. After speaking, his head lifts and he patiently stares forward. His bloodshot eyes almost glowing in the dimly lit room. A name, please.

That is all I need. A name. Okay. Don't say me. Don't say me. I'm not going to say you. What's his name? Let's all be so careful. Let's all be so careful. You can say me if you want that. You have to bury me at sea. I'm not going to do that. I don't want you dead.

I don't. I don't do burials. Just the killing. I'll do the sea burial. Okay. If people just don't want to do it, I'll do it. Let's have a quick chat. Okay. I didn't think this was going to happen. But now that it has, it's a horrifying opportunity. Let's talk it out, right? Okay, so we've got the baron. Don't say anyone's names. Don't say anyone's. Well, I'm not saying it to him.

No, okay, okay. I'm not saying it. Hold on. Time out. Earphones. Wait, are we literally not allowed? I'm going to ask this guy the rules. Can we literally, if I say anyone's name right now to my friends in a different conversation, are you going to go kill that person?

No, it's not a speak with the day situation. All right. It's fine. We can talk it out. Okay. Earmuffs. This is reasonable. Keychain.

Yeah, well, no. I just had to get that out. I knew it wasn't going to die. Right. I just needed to vent for a second. You see a knife, a hand with a knife just slowly moved to the mirror and then goes back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, now you're just tempting him, okay?

All right. He's reasonable, but he's not that reasonable. Listen, let's talk it out right now, okay? So my first thought is, the obvious one is Straud, but, uh, and I whisper this and I put my hand up away from the ghost, I don't think he's going to be able to kill Strad. I don't know much about this guy, but he's no Strauch. Let's face it. He's pretty thin. He's no Strauch.

Also, like, he's clearly very manipulatable, and if he met Straud, Straud would probably just, yeah, okay. So there's that. Okay, so no Strauch. No Straud. We agree on that. No strad. Other option would be the Baron.

I think, though, there's a chance that the Baron is just in over his head, and murdering him isn't necessarily going to get us anything. Right. We might have to do that, but we might have to do it by ourselves. I think there's a great chance we have to kill, like, 15 people in this town. Yeah. But I don't know. yet that he's not just in over his head.

How long is he willing to wait? Like, can he just come with us and we'll say the name when? Oh, joins the party? No, the order must be given. Yeah. Okay, so here's my pitch, right? If we say the ass, you guys seem nice, but come on, it's not really my vibe. You seem great too, honestly.

You seem great too. You guys seem cool. I've met a lot of contractors in my day. Yeah, thanks. I'm just so pathetic. Everyone I meet, I'm like, are you my new best? no don't say that that's that's that's comics okay don't cry it's okay get left at the altar what's the story no i'm wearing someone else's bridal dress okay that's some drama that's juicy i want to hear

more which come to think always does someone else's bridal dress never the bride i do wonder if onyx is being set up to be the bride at this fake wedding tonight you know putting the wedding dress in the burgomaster's quarters does the burgomaster for the day get like sacrificed at the end of all this We really didn't think about that at all I do think, okay, so I think we still have another day, so I think that we should try to use my dream journal to spy on the

Burger Master and see what his dreams are. Okay, we can definitely do that. Great. So that would be a reason to keep him alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. So here's my pitch. The abbot probably bad, right? Maybe even a vampire, doesn't age, that's

weird. He's doing bad stuff. Don't like the fact that he's got baby werewolves and cages. Yeah. Not good. Not cool. There's a chance that the abbot is also strong and can't just be, and I whisper again, killed by this random guy, we met in a mirror. Okay? You see the assassin is like balancing his knife on the tip and it falls

and stabs him to foot? Yeah, okay. Yeah, so maybe we can't maybe we don't want to shoot that high, right? And also, there's a chance that the abbot is really an enemy of strudge. Yeah, enemy of our enemy is our friend, could be. Here is who

I think is just straight up bad. and offers us nothing is the lootant Oh The lieutenant I like that What are we thinking Because then that might just cause chaos

Whatever body is in there Maybe it attacks people Maybe the baby werewolf gets free Oh yeah We stir the pot And make them think they're under attack And see how they behave Yeah

And I think the loot And I just don't think he's that high up And I'm afraid Look we're gonna have to fight these guys We know this right He yelled at a puppy Let's not forget He yelled at a puppy

He yelled at a puppy. Yeah. Who does that? I squirt keychain. No sniffing. All right. So is everyone cool with Luton? Does that sound good?

I say Luton. I'm all in. Yes. Okay. I think Luton is a movie. Yes. Oh, wait. It is an evil creature.

Do we know the Luton's name? Does he need to know the name? Excuse me. Could we just give you the creature's nickname that you want to kill? Not his own nickname. The nickname we gave. The nickname we've given him. We know exactly.

where he is. We can give like a spot on description. He's a really specific person. He looks really specific. We're calling him the loot and he looks like a lobster. He drinks a lot of wine. He plays a loot. There's a guy that he's trying to keep down. That's under a sheet. Wow. That's yeah. That's a lot of

info. That's pretty good. Okay. That's thorough. That's thorough. Where does he live? Where does he reside? He's in the abbey. The abbey. Tell me the specifics. Would you like it done now? would you like it done at an opportune moment. Now is fine. No, wait, wait.

No, no, no, opportunity? Wait, what do you mean now is fine? How about in 10? Wait, not in 10? I'm going to take it now. We're going to have to go, why don't we just have a code word, and then you kill the Luton when we say the code word? Yeah, can you lay and wait in the shadows and come out?

A code word is pretty sexy, I just admit. Okay, that's the code word. Pretty sexy. Pretty sexy. Pretty sexy. Pretty sexy. Pretty sexy. Then you jump out of the shadow.

and murder the Luton. You got it. You say a good word is pretty sexy. A good word is pretty sexy. All right, let's all stop saying that because that is officially the code word now. It's so hard. I'm so used to say it all the time.

I know. We have to say that things are a little sexy. He keeps putting his hand through the mirror with the dagger every time you say that. We will say the P.S. word When it's time to kill the Luton. And if the Luton turns out to be a good guy, we'll just never say P.S. again.

Uh-huh. It's pretty tough. Okay. He's pretty buttoned up. Pretty buttoned up. All right. Thank you so much. What was your name?

Did you have a name or? I am. Stefan. Stefan. Stefan. Oh. Stefan Urquil. You are.

You are. He is a mirror character. Holy shit. Barrel of universe. My God. Maybe he can kill Strudge. After I. kill someone I say, did I do that?

Wow. Wow. It's so down to earth, really. All right. Is that all you would have me do? All right, Stefan. That's good for now. We'll let you know.

We'll say the code word. We'll see you in the mirroroverse. I push him back in the mirror. Wait, can I ask you, since you're chatty? Is it the Baroness or the Baron who summons you usually? I have not been summoned. in many generations. Oh.

Interesting. Okay, so maybe the Baron's not all bad because, look, I could be honest, if I had this mirror, I'd be often people left and right. Yeah, right? Yes, I have watched the Baroness puzzle over the words on the scroll,

but she has never deciphered them. Oh, so maybe she, like, wants to kill somebody but can't figure out how? Okay, all right, so they're just dumb. They're not nice. Cool. Okay, good to know. good enough. Of course. Hey, we still might end up killing more people. Let's face it. We are going

to burn down the abbey. Yeah. And let's face it, that's a little sexy. Just a little. Just a little. That's very good. Just a little sexy. Let's all keep remembering it's a little sexy. All right. Thank you so much, Stefan. Indeed. Reflect you later. All right. That was smooth. That was smooth. That's good. That is mirror smooth. That's a Stefan, not a Stephen for short. Okay. So we have people coming over for Dee. Yeah, or dinner. For dinner, yes. Oh, have we prepared anything?

No, we have. Well, yeah. There is a serving staff here, which is, I must say, quite an improvement of my humble abode. So would you like me to go and supervise the kitchen? Oh, you know, I think we did say apps for dinner. Oh, yes. Let's do an app spread. Yeah.

Let's keep it low key. I also have this note to myself. We need to get water from the pool. Oh, the Abbott had gotten water from the pool. We can go investigate that. Isn't there a pool on this premise? Isn't it like a well? Yes, as we entered the mansion, there was the gates up to the abbey.

And on the other side, there was an old gazebo and then also this sparkling blue pond. Okay, I'm going to go be like a girl in Vegas and get into the pool and dance around. Okay. Could I come with you? No. Holy shit. Maybe it was like a girl's trip. You're right.

I'm a grill's grill now. Come, everyone who is a grill can come friends in the pool. Okay, okay, I'm a grill. You're a grill, you're invited. Okay, let's get grilled. Don't look at me like that. I need to look. I'm going to supervise the making of the apps.

I also think, is this crazy? I'm kind of in the mood for a margarita. Yeah. Did somebody say margarita? Yeah, oh, keychain. You're the margarita guy for sure. All right. Should we do margaritas and apps?

That sounds good, right? I'll have mine virgin. is that seems what what well just though i can you know stay stay sharp okay you just said it like you said something cool and you said something super dumb what do you mean that's a pinch niac do you know what a virgin margarita is he's gonna drink you know what now's that niac's not drinking i am not drinking eyes are what uh no it's just not fun is it well you can get drunk we won't judge marina you gonna drink what i'll toss some back okay okay great okay cool me a marino drink.

All right, that's fine. Who's a grill now? Right? Okay, grills, girls, girls, we are out. Okay, great. We're out. Instead of a margarita, I may have a water, but let's party. You're not even having a virgin margarina now?

This guy's the worst. Well, we are like, dairy cream over here. We are chilling and grilling. Oh, that's good. Okay, you know what? I will just yell about the margaritas on the way out, and I will come with you. Shall we get these to go? Yeah.

Keychain switches back to Barter. officer mode and his head becomes a blender. Oh, great, yeah. Actually, we'll have a margaritas to go. I'm going to have like six or seven of these things tonight. Let's have a margarita now. On the way, yeah. Brother, you just popped in ambient, didn't you?

Yeah, we have to go to sleep soon. It's getting to be night. We have a big day tomorrow. Okay. So you have dinner in a little bit. You see that it's like late afternoon now. The sun is starting to go down, but you've got a little time left. So you're going to head over to this shimmering pool by the

gazebo. Yeah. Yeah. So you cross past this rusted iron gate up to the abbey and over to this beautiful pool. Even under gray skies, this body of water shimmers and sparkles. Near it shore sits an old gazebo on the verge of collapse, a wooden statue of a mournful bare-chested man. It's paint-chipped and faded, stand in the gazebo with arms outstretched, as though waiting to be embraced. So it's a statue waiting to be ugged? Yes. I uggs the statue.

Careful before you ugg the statue. She's ugging it. Onyx, careful. I go in lips first. That's more than an hug. Okay? I sit my margarita, but look concerned. Honestly, as you do this, you feel the Ariana doll kind of like slap you in your pocket.

And then you see Marina comes up and says, ah, I thought you were more of a nightmother person. I did not know that you were interested in the morning lord. This is a statue of him. Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry, Ariana. It's okay, babe. He's very huggable.

I just got caught up and like, oh, maybe it's some kind of puzzle. Okay, so this morning lord, what is he, does he look like a werewolf for something? What's going on here? Because he's like a big, you say he's like a broad-chested guy? Yeah, it's a bare-chested man, kind of like, arms outstretched. You see, Marina looks at it and says, it seems like it is reaching towards the east,

which is where the dawn would be if the sun ever properly rose. Can I use Magent to scoop water onto the statue? Yeah. As if blessing. Onyx, you go over to the pool to scoop some water out with your mage hand, and as you do, a woman appears in the water. So no one else Is it

Anything with the reflections People are just showing up in Hello Do you know Stefan? You know Stefan? Were you buried at sea? My dream No

I have heard much of a sea But I've never seen a sea I was buried in the abbey above For I am St. Markovia Oh Oh the abbey of St. Markovia Yeah The water ripples more

and then she comes into focus, and you see she's wearing armor similar to Marinas, but is clad in shades of white and blue. Indeed, I am founder of the Abbey, and also Marina, your blood ancestor. You and your mother, Demira, are my descendants. More truths await you at the Abbey. Once they are uncovered, speak to me beneath the sun. Ah. Hmm.

I can feel it. Ghosts of Straud's pasts have all conspired for this moment. Go forth, please, and free us from this miserable cycle. I wish I could say more, sweet girl, but powerful forces dampened my connection to this place. You must go to the Abbey. The pool ripples and the woman's form fades into Marina's reflection. Oh, my morning, Lord. Okay.

Did everyone see that? Are these morgues extra strong? Or what was that? I haven't been drinking and I saw that. Oh, my goodness. I have been drinking and I did see that. What's in this water? Okay.

Wait, we didn't get a chance to ask if it's like the ab because the abbot has been coming here. Yeah, so I'm, that's what I'm confused about because I inherently trust this lady in the water. But the abbot, but she's telling us to go to the abbey. The abbey is clearly bad and we need to burn it down. Marina, this is your ancestor. How do you feel? It is. I have heard legends of St. Margovia.

She was one of the first to raise sword against Strad. She unfortunately fell, but she has come the closest to anyone to defeating him. Legend says that she wielded a sword made of pure sunlight, and she marched to Strad's castle and injured him greatly. He bears the scars to this day. to find that I'm related to her, it just furthers my desire to learn the sword. Jins, now, now it's the time.

We must take her first lesson. It must be now. Oh, okay. I'm just some margarita and a half. He's really drunk. Can't you see? Yes. Okay, I swing at Marino.

Think fast. Whoa. I give the help action because she needs to learn. Okay. Great, the help action to Jins? Okay, she's going to try and parry this. Okay, I got a 19. Okay, with the parry, that just makes it a 17.

So, you definitely, where do you hit her? I think I just try to pin her jacket to a post of the gazebo. And I say, see, when I drink, I'm actually sharper. Okay, so drink a little bit. Stay loose. Just a little bit. A couple of cigarettes and margarita, and then you're ready to fight. I've got it.

to stay loose. Stay loose. She starts to say loose, but the beam that you punctured cracks in the entire gazebo. Okay, John, I tackle her out from under it. Okay. Oh, so we were practicing dodging, I see.

Yes, that too. Okay, yes, I will work on my parry and then staying loose. Thank you so much. I will also say one more thing. If we find that sword of the sun, because we're supposed to find a gift under the sun, if she gives us a sword,

shotgun that sword. I'm sorry. I know that's your ancestor But don't you feel like There is a noble story Being told by Marina Yeah I'm a grills grill now

So I'm actually on Marina I think I speak for Marina When I say Jens should have the sword I'm sorry if I'm overstepping Marina But I feel like I should speak for Marina And say that Jens should have the sword You're right? I didn't even ask her Did anyone shotgun it?

No Marina do you want to sort or would It would it make you happier for Jens to have this sword. Because he called it is all I'll say. He did call it. That's what I'm saying is it's like she could have, okay, ready? I put, I put finger to my nose. What are you doing?

I also got that one. Do you have a cold? Are you sneezing? No, okay. That's a different one. It's a shotgun. Yeah, that's shotgun. I don't know this.

She doesn't even know a shotgun rolls or anything. She should have a sword made of pure son. What I'm learning is that I need to be quicker, okay? Thank you, sword master. Thank you for the lesson. Okay. You're welcome. Yeah.

No, I have not earned this blade yet. I will say maybe perhaps I can have back the blade of truth if you claim is no sword. We will do sword swap, okay? Okay, maybe. You said maybe. Okay, strong maybe. Okay, so I think like maybe it's all of your margarita stocking,

even though I haven't had one. But I think we all need to promise right here, right now, that's the last final stroke of death to Strad belongs to Marina. Final stroke, that's a little sexy. Just a little sexy That's fine, that's fine I push Marina in the pool And don't her in the pool

We don't know it's a weird magic pool This water tastes really good actually Don't drink it I'm drinking the water and weird things are happening I drink the water Who drank the water? I'm gonna drink it Because I didn't have a margarita

I'm gonna see what happens to Onix Everyone that drinks the water You feel revitalized And sort of like your spirit has lifted. This water has the curative effects of a lesser restoration spell and also can cure exhaustion. Whoa. Whoa. Who knew? Now I'm partying. This is why you don't drink kids. My skin is so clear. Okay, I'm going to dump out a face mist and fill it with this water. Okay, great. Yeah, I'll let you take a vial of this. Oh, yeah. It's a facemister, but yeah. Same thing. Okay, great. Let's, I guess,

do a little investigation around here and see if there's any other clues around this pool slash this statue if there's any placards or any proof of anything that the abbot has been doing. I also just feel like okay maybe this is too much I've played too many video

games but I feel like a statue in a pool to me says there is something underneath this underneath the statue? Yeah we'll just shove the statue. Let's topple it. We'll just look around. Someone someone hits this. Let's not topple it. I'm going to the statue and then fall to the side.

Yeah, we're going to, we're going to ugg it, and we're going to shift it a little bit. Okay, so you're going to look under the statue. We'll just do, I think we're going to do a full sweep. Yeah, okay, okay, cool. Give me investigation checks. I would also allow a history check. Plus two to history. Don't mind if I do.

I got a 19. 19. Wow. I got a net one. I got a seven. Okay, yeah, somebody go ahead and roll me a D-100. Six. Six out of a hundred.

Whoa. Double zeros and then a six. It's pretty cool. Okay, with six underneath this statue, you lower your shoulder and hug it to the ground like a linebacker. And you find a bundle of clothes stolen from a scarecrow. What the fuck? Stolen from a scarecrow? Does the scarecrow even own the clothes?

This is, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay, can I look around for a naked scarecrow? Marina, we went shopping for you. I guess somebody was, like, ashamed of these clothes? They are not very fashionable. I think maybe they stole them from a scarecrow

and we're like, these are great, I'll wear these later, but I need them to be hidden for a while so no one knows I stole them from the scarecrow. I only got on 11 perception check to find a naked scarecrow, and I know that's not enough. You don't see any scarecrows here, but you do remember from Bluetooth's vision when he was surveilling that there were some scarecrows along the path to the abbey where I need them make it. Do you think it's possible that one of the mutants, they needed some clothes and they stole it from a scarecrow, and then they like realized that it wasn't their style and they hid it under the statue? Yeah, they would.

I do feel like the only time I've ever put something super weird is when I stole it doll from a show. shop and I was so embarrassed and I threw it in my backyard. Do you think they were ashamed of their acts? I think so. Oh. This is his penance, I see. Maybe the scarecrows are freaking alive and then the scarecrowes came and saw the Donfather and like exploded and just left their clothes behind. Oh, do you think they saw the Donfather statue and they were like, I have sinned, I have sinned.

I must hide these clothes as an offering to the Donfather. Yeah. Or maybe the, maybe the abbot is like sell from Dragon Ball Z and just like sucks up scarecrow's so to stay young. Who? Yeah. Feeds on hay like a horse. Maybe he's a horse.

Is that why they say healthy as a horse? Yeah. Is hay the secret? Oh my God, we've got to start a new diet. All right. Well, before we start our new diets, let's have another margarita and let's go have our appetizers for dinner. Okay, great. So you're going to head back to the house?

Yeah, great. Can I ask one of the servants, where is the baron sleeping tonight? Oh, the Baron will be sleeping in the guest chambers, which are upstairs. Okay, so it's the same house. Yes, same house. They have a small cottage on the other side of town, but usually while the Berger Master of the Day is here, they like to stay nearby in case they have any questions. Okay, I'm going to send Bluetooth to become invisible and pick the lock or use the keys we have to get in and put the Dream Journal under the pillow where he or the Baroness will be sleeping.

Okay. Incredible. So yes, this is the, this is the dream journal that you found on the bodies of those werewolves. Yeah. It has the ability to record your dreams. I think Rules was written

it can just record yours, but I think that it's very fun to have it be whoever's pillow it's under. So I want to definitely re-rule that because that's super fun. So yes, you put it, Bluetooth sneaks in there. I want him to like gut a bit of the mattress,

put it that deep in, and then stitch it back up and then put pillows on top. Oh, he stitches it with his little scorpion tail. It's very cute. Awesome. So he does that. And then you guys all head into the dining room.

And after a little bit, Erwin and Danica arrive. This episode of Nadpot is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or an old pro looking to grow your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise with video content on your website.

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use offer code P-A-W-P-A-W to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You see that they both have this, like, salt and peppery hair. Erwin has, like, a nicely trimmed beard. Danica has like her hair pulled back. It's kind of like long and curly with like these gray streaks. They both have like little feather ornamentations. Erwin has a couple in his beard and Danica has some tuck behind her ear. And they're both wearing kind of like just the clothes that they've had on during the day.

They're all covered in wine stains from the festival and whatnot. They didn't have a chance to change. But they did bring a big bottle of Red Dragon Crush, which is one of the wines from their vineyard. Perfect. Oh, yes. Yay, we're mixing margaritas and red wine. I love this. Let's keep the party going.

I might have another water. Okay, Jin's rules, kind of. Yeah, that's right. Thank you for having us. We have not officially met yet. I am Irwin. You've met Danica, of course. It is always great to meet a friend of the feather.

Yes, nice to meet you. We are definitely friends of the feather. Yes, a big wink. Was there news from my sisters you wish to discuss? Yes. Yes. But sorry, one second. I'm horrified.

that the apps aren't out yet. This is truly so embarrassing. This is humiliating, honestly. Did you leave and come back in? Could you leave? Could you leave? And we are going to ream out the people who are working for us.

And then they'll get the apps out. And then you'll come in. We'll take this again. You know what? Do you offer! Trust me, I run a tavern. I know what it's like. You cannot find a good help.

When people are not up to their potential. Okay, we will go back outside. Blessings to you. Thank you. This is unacceptable! How long does it take to heat up a freaking mozzarella stick? Nyack starts clapping around the room.

My lord, do you, when you say mozzarella stick, do you mean an actual stick covered in mozzarella? It's not in any of our recipes. What we mean is right now, okay? Don't worry. These are questions you should have been asking an hour ago. You don't ask what a mozzarella stick is

when the mozzarella stick should be out. When I say, make me mozzarella. sticks, that's when you ask what a mozzarella stick is. It's fried cheese. When you say past apps, do you mean apps from the past, old apps? Good God. I'm mortified. Clarify your homonymsa

at that time. You should have clarified this long ago before we went swimming. I'm going back to the kitchen. I'm going back to the kitchen. Yes, you must speak with our head chef, Amelia Spadelia. She's done a terrible job in the print. Oh, no. Amelia Spadelia, you're fired in real life.

I don't care what burglomaster comes after us, you're fire. Get out. There's a new head chef, and his name is Nyack. Oh, ain't that a shame. You don't even give a shit, do you? She sets herself on fire as you wish. Jesus. Oh, my God.

That was so manipulative. That was so manipulative. You asked me to do this. Making me feel like the bad guy. Oh, you're fired? Oh, you're literally, okay. I doubt her in water. You have been let go. I was drinking.

Stop cooking for us and get out of the house, right? Okay, well, now the Demilius Bedelius is gone. I think we can perhaps whip together the appetizers you wish for. Okay. Of course, yes. It will only be a few more minutes, my lord. Just some cheese and some meats then, okay? Absolutely.

We do charcutory. With utmost taste. Whatever you have immediately. Yeah. Just so immediate. Okay, so immediate. Okay, so immediate. Okay, so after a few more minutes, they scrabble together some stuff from the large.

and they bring it out into the dining room. Erwin and Danica join you there. They open up this bottle of Red Dragon Crush and pour you each a little bit right next to your margaritas. Can I... Well, I'm also not drinking. Sure.

Because Nyack's not drinking. Nyack, you ruined the night. I just want you to know that. I'm hanging out. I'm part of the fun. Can I do some sort of like check on the wine itself to see if it's magical or to see if there's anything else going on?

Just like, I don't want them to know. I'm like sussing it out I'm just curious Okay yeah So I got a 10 on the die What do you think that I would add to that? I want to say maybe nature I actually don't have many skills

Maybe just do like a raw intelligence I guess Okay Or nature if you have that Zero 10 Okay With a tin It's magically good It tastes yummy

Okay Yeah you get a sense that it like It tastes like good wine But I guess like with a tin I would say you're not much of a Somali-A. It's the meanest thing I've ever said to you, G&D. Okay, so we invited you here

because we met your sisters. Ah, yes, Elinka Mirabelle, Sorvia. Yes, and I gesture to the room to just be kind of like, people are listening, so I'm going to speak in code. We have some common people that we don't like very much,

one of whom hangs out in Borovia. Yes, they like the wrong kind of one. There you go. That's really good. That's really good. Thank you. Okay. We'll say they.

You are good. Thank you. Jen's rule kind of. Yeah. Jens rule kind of. We'll call them white wine drinkers, but that's confusing. Yeah. That actually doesn't.

What about blood wine? Or just blood drinkers. What? Oh, wait. What do they call? Like bio wine or whatever? Biodynamic wine. Who's not a sommelier now?

And that's kind of, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, so they, yes, they like bio-dynamic wine. Yes, they're going for the bio-wine, which we're not as into. So, and so that's how we became friends. Yes. And then when we came here, they said to look you up. And we're seeing that there's some people here that seem to also not like bio-wine,

but they're going about it in what we perceive as being kind of a strange way. Yes, they're trying to get into natural wine instead of biodynamic wine. And we just like regular wine. It's just, the regular wine. Just box wine. That's all you really need. I feel like you're just messing with the sulfites and the tendons when you do that and it just wrecks the palate. Yeah.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. How do we, how do I say this? How do I say this? Okay, yeah. There seems to be some religious types that are, seem to be getting a lot of wine, possibly from you. Do you know why they need so much wine?

That is strange. We get our wine from the Wizard of Wines, which is the Vineyard My Family owns. Right. The parent buys a large amount of wine, but judging by the amount that you are talking about, the numbers do not add up. I've checked my ledger. We, our wine supplies have been dwindling in the past months as a result of the Gothiastri that is raised on Yester Hill. I think you have heard of this from my sisters.

Yes. Is there another person making wine here? Should I go to the kitchen and see if there's any other winemakers? You can perhaps check. I do not know of any other winemakers. He pride ourselves on being the only vineyard in Arborovia. Oh, God, damn it. Oh, you have a monopoly.

That's pretty cool. I mean, you might be just using the barrels. Yeah. Yeah, the barrels, huh? People in donkey masks. People have been disappearing. Huh? So it's actually blood that everyone's drinking?

No, it's not blood. It's people, and then people are, okay, we're going to have to speak in code again. It's not one. Okay, so perhaps we just write this down, maybe? We just do, like, we pass it around pin-path style. That's fine. Yeah, let's do that. All right, yeah.

So we'll just start doodling. We'll have like a banal conversation. I'll just keep reaming out Nyack for ruining the night by not drinking with me. But what we're actually saying by handwriting is you're essentially saying that the barrels of wine that the abbot is getting from the baron is actually people. Yes. I think it, I think what is happening and I'll say as much in the notes is that the, the, quote unquote law breakers and stuff because even said I heard they said that udo was getting taken up to the abbey so I think that they're taking like the less desirables or the he-haw broke the law

people they're sending them up to the abbey and he is and the abbot is then doing either tests on them or sacrificing them or doing something like that there are weird mutants up there I let Danica and Irwin know that and I ask them if they know anything about the weird mutants and the

wedding that's coming up seems like a wedding that's being sprung on someone and also the being that's under a sheet that is rousing. That's a really gorgeous doodle brother.

So we knew that there were strange creatures lurking about but we just assumed that they were abominations of Strath we did not know that you think

that the abbot is making these things? Confirms the abbot is making these things. Yeah, I think so. We know not much of what the abbot does up there. Any time we send our crows to go and spy, they do not return. And we have not wanted to risk any of our ravens. There are not many of us anymore. They don't return.

They're all, they're mutants now, I bet. I sent a spy, and the abbot was strangely diplomatic. Oh, perhaps there was something special about this. despise you sin. Maybe. Is this a personal raven of yours? One that you are close to? No, everyone thinks that their son is the special one, you know, right?

And she's a girl, girl, not a boy's mom. And I'm trying to be a grills grill, grill, not a boy mom. But when you say that, it awakens the torment girl, a boy mom. Okay, let me, I guess, ask you guys another question. Can we, let's physically describe some of the mutants we saw. and ask, and not talking about the lobster parts, talking about the human parts, do any of those physical descriptions

sound like any of the people that have gone missing in the town? That's really smart. Yeah. We'll have Bluetooth come down and write down the description. What did the Luton look like? What did the Bat mutant look like?

What did the lizard guys look like? Give us any distinguishing human features. If it's hair color, distinctive freckles, stunning eyelashes. And by the way, is everything okay with your mozzarella stick? You haven't touched it.

Is it because it's huge and wet? It seems like there's a tiny log in the middle of it. Yeah, they did. They thought it was an actual stick. We should have fried cheese. Fancy restaurants do call it fried cheese. You know, when you get over the crunch, it's pretty good. Yeah.

It's a mozzarella stick. It just has a stick in it also. You can treat it like a popsicle? It's a little like a smore. It's a little like a smore, but with cheese. I'm kind of into it. We should start doing mozzarella skewers. That could be added.

Mozilla skewers. Budfuckers. Wow. Yeah, and it's vegan, so. Anyway, do you know any of those people? Impaled cheese? It sounds good. Yeah, and now we can write this whole trip off, so thank you. Oh, and maybe we can have it so that the mozzarella looks like it's running away from you and you have to spear your own.

Oh, yeah, that's good. Like little mozzarella fellas. Yeah, mozzarella fella. Yeah, fella sticks. Okay. So that's like partial on the ship. with Wizard of Wines now. I have to like,

we can work out the arrangement later. That's fine. We'll sue you later. Do you know any of those people? So when Bluetooth describes this lobster man plucking a lute, he thinks and says, that is, no, it couldn't be. So the Baron has had many bards

over the long history of his tenure as the Baron as the Bergamaster. I do remember. a man named Gorek who was especially talented with the loot but you know the bards come and go and I just assumed that the baron had grown bored of them

and sent them off you know to work the fields over an Emoryx farm or maybe to scrub the outside of the wooden gates you know there are many punishments and many crimes in this land so it is that is why we do our best to remain quiet and unseen

yeah okay and Gorek bad guy or yeah was he What's he mean? Did he deserve to die? I would often see him, you know, this is very untasteful, but I would, you know, I once saw him kick the Baroness's cat. Oh, my God. Yeah, all right.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Pretty sexy. Oh, my God. I'm just kidding. I think that's probably why he got canned, honestly. Yeah. Okay.

Good to know. Is there anything else we can tell you? You know much, and we wish to share much with you because if I'm being honest, We will need your help in the days to come. I fear that the druids and the witches are mounting and attack against our winery in the near future. Oh, yeah, we can help to defend the wine. Yeah, for sure.

We'll add it to the list. Yeah, like, how near in the future are you talking? Because we have, like, such a busy schedule. We have plans tomorrow night specifically. You know what? I think you have a little time. And my brother is burnt out already. Yeah.

Yeah, Jen's so burnt out. He's so burnt out. Do you want cocaine? Yeah. Oh. Do you are, yeah. We call it crocane. Oh, I'll take some crocane.

Okay, I could, I could cry. You don't drink, you just do crocane. Yeah. All natural. Okay, yeah. All right. Okay, so here's, I guess, a question for you. Do you know the person whose wagon showed up outside of town, the purple wagon?

Yes, we have heard of her. Okay. Is Marilda? Yes, do you know Esmeralda and if she's where she is? She came into the tavern. She was asking all about, you know, if we had seen the wizard that came through. We told her all we knew. We also implored her for help with the winery, but she said that she had a separate mission.

Last I saw her, she had headed towards the graveyard. The graveyard? Yes. Where is the graveyard? It is, oh, beyond the tavern. Towards the gate to the lake. And is the graveyard also near the abbey? The abbey is north, and the graveyard is more to the east.

But I will say, putting two and two together, I think that the graveyard is often where I have seen these creatures lurking. Oh, okay. Are they stealing bodies? Maybe we can, yeah. Oh, that too. That's interesting. Woof.

Are they putting the bodies in the barrels? Oh, they've got some kind of Frankenstein hunters there. Yeah, for sure. A frankincite's monster, actually, Onyx. Sorry. I'm so stupid. Are you making fun of me, Onyx?

What the fuck you say about my mom? Onyx is weeping. But smiling like she's not. Bluetooth stings you in the ass. I just thought Jen's would be that kind of guy. It might be the crocane talking. but I feel like we've got the great plan. Yeah, this is great.

Okay, can you do us a favor? I love making plans. Because we think Esmeralda, or maybe Onyx has been set up as this by putting the wedding dress in the room. Somebody is going to be getting married to Frankenstein's monster. I look at Onix.

And I look back. I look back at her way. Honestly, it smiles bigger, but the streams coming out of her eyes are like gushing, like a water park ride. So we think that there's some kind of terrible ritual that's going to happen tomorrow night where someone's going to be sacrificed or something.

If you and your were ravens could kind of show up, that would be great for us. Is there any, like, signal we could give you guys to sort of pop out? Or if you could just be sort of in the trees around or what's not? Of course. Yes, I could send a few of the were ravens to watch in case things get dire.

Perfect. Yes, of course. We will need a code word, a phrase, to activate the ravens. Okay. Do you have anything in mind? Yeah, we'll say a little sexy. Now we can't say that.

We can't say that. We can't say that. We can't say the things. Sort of sexy. Things are sort of sexy or things are kind of sexy. Okay, so let's keep it all straight. All right. And just to be clear, is this code word for you guys to swoop in attack or for you

guys to show up in the first place? We will be watching. We'll be watching. And then we say that and you'll attack. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. This is all adding up.

This plan is a molecule of sexy. This is really sexy. A grain of sex. It's very sexy. It's a massively sexy. It's a real sexy thimble. There you go. It's making me wet.

What? You leave me with no other choice to say. Nyack spits his water out. We have to talk about what we are now. All right. So we'll deal with this first and then we will help you with your winery and we'll figure it out from there. It shall be done a pleasure doing business with you. Pleasure doing business with you.

Thank you for the wine. Of course. Thanks for your time. Most of all. And the mozzarella fella, I don't think we're going to move forward with that. So don't even worry about it. So we're clear to take that? Because I think that the blue water, no.

You're not clear to take. Let's just kill it right here. Yeah. We're just going to. No one's going to do it. So we're going to kill it right here. Okay, well, you know, you're going to need to pay your share because I think we'd like to buy the idea. Okay.

Oh. Okay. You can buy the idea from a. How much would you like for it? 6,000 gold. It's a million gold idea. You're getting a deal here. Let's renegotiate after you have.

help us out with the tree at the one way, okay? Perfect. All right. We'll keep it, you know what? You can freeze the asset for now. Great. Okay, yeah. We'll just sit on that.

All right, great. Thank you so much. Of course. I lead them to the door and rudely kind of push them out. And then I turned to these guys. Wow, the night ended so abruptly. The night ended so abruptly. And who do we have to blame for that?

I point to Nyack's water. Oh, come on. I've been hanging out. I'm just a little sleepy. Yeah, you're a little sleepy. And I haven't been judging. You're not judging you guys at all. And you haven't been very much fun.

You haven't been very much fun. I'm not judging you. I think that you need alcohol to have fun and that's fine. You did do a lot of cocaine, though. Yeah. Yeah. And I need cocaine to have fun. We're all a little hyped up on cocaine, right?

Do we, do we dare? Why don't we just send Nyack out? Maybe I'll use my last spell. Nyack, I'll do invisibility on you. Okay? Okay. You do a quick sweep. You're so dumb, though.

You're not going to get anything with an investigation check. Well, I'm not dumb. I'm hyped. It's Sui's hyped on cocaine. Okay, I'll give you a bardic and invisibility. Good. Yeah, all right. Okay.

Go to the graveyard real quick. Just give it a sweep. See if there's any sign of a struggle or someone getting grabbed from there or any clue as to what happened to Esmeralda. Right on. Right on. Okay, I'm going to send Bluetooth with you. Yeah, Bluetooth can give you a help. Because I can test spells through Bluetooth.

Great, okay, cool. All right. All right. So you're going to head to the graveyard real quick. Yeah. Cool. All right. Nyak, you and Bluetooth.

Finally. Bluetooth, do you want me to hold you? I can walk on my own. But if you want to hold me, I can take a piggyback ride. Sure. It's whatever. It's whatever you want. Hop on.

He scrambles up your back using his claws. Nyack, skips into the woods. So you walk back towards the graveyard. As you do, you pass the town square where you see people are gathering once again as the baron prepares to light this giant wolf's head higher. Oh, we forgot to checks to make sure there's no one needs to. Okay, well, why don't you and I go to the party while Nyack goes and checks out the graveyard? We'll leave Nyack a note to say if he wants to go to the party after the wolfhead is burned, he can meet us there.

Okay, leave him a note. I think I need to, is it, is it like wickers that I can see into it? Yes, you can see through it. There's not anyone in there. You see it's just this giant wolf's head constructed out of like wicker and wood. They're more subtle than that. They're not burning someone in the town square. They're putting them in barrels.

Can I miss this step in? Just make sure there's no one and missus them out. There's no one in there. The wolf head. What if Esmeralda is in there? Why would Esmereld to be in there? They're doing something else. So you, all right.

You're going to just misty step in a fire? I have so many misty steps a day. And I never use them. Okay. We're on Crocane. I'm going to actually use a refreshing step. So after I teleport, Gens gets 6 HP. Okay.

Gets it back from the curse from earlier. Oh, yeah. You did exactly six damage to you, I think. This is great. So you make. your way into the town square. Nyack, you hang a left towards the graveyard.

I hope they're not doing anything fun while I'm in the graveyard. Don't worry, we're just Missy stepping into fire. And as you enter, you hear the Baron's ragged voice rising above excited shouts in the town square. Come one, come all, it's time to

lot the pyre. Grab yourself a steaming cup of Applejack brandy and come help us warred away the forces of evil for another year. Legend says if you look deep into the flames, you might see the face of pure evil igniting within. Who knows what that face might be? Who knows what the future will hold? All right, cool. Yeah, I'll have some apple jack. Brandy, why not? I'm already going to be hung over. Let's face it. I'm screwed. All the people of the village join hands Huville style.

Great. Start swaying back and forth and singing as Izek hands the Baron a large torch, in kerosene they all sang everything is fine nothing's ever wrong all will be well that's why we sing this song jens joins in that was infectious yeah so the baron awkwardly reaches into the pyre with this torch it ignites almost instantly and the moment it ignites onyx you misty step inside is anybody in here just you i look her Any response? There's no one in there except for you.

Again, I need to step out. Oh, I saw it. I saw it. It was a night mother. It was night mother. Saw it. Night mother's here. Oh, my God.

The morning Lord is forsaking us. All will not be well. All will not be well. Wow. I could cast calm emotions, but I want them all to have this mouth out. Yeah, that's not bad. Oh, my God.

Oh, shit. No, it's okay. All will be well, folks. False baron, false baron. Be careful. I disguise myself as piddly wick. You're just going to get Piddlewick murder when it does that. I guess he's just a dummy.

The puppet's speaking the truth. You see that everyone like full of this fiery Applejack Brandy is like on the verge of a riot. It's just started by onyx. Then Izek and the town guard step in. and kind of just like cross their hands and everyone's just like yeah no it was probably just a regular guy

it was just fine I'm sure I'm just seeing things it's just his Applejack Brandy's so good right right yeah we're good all will be well all will be well so everyone calms down a little bit they start getting sloppy off Applejack Brandy they're singing songs

the party is continuing on into the night as this wolf's head pyre burns brightly lighting up the town square. Jens. Yeah. I confirmed that there's no one in the warfare. Yeah, we knew that. We knew, yeah.

Okay. That's good, yeah. Yeah. I think I'm still a little bit on fire. I pat on eggs out. Oh, shit. As you pat yourself down, though, you do feel kind of like the rattling of a mannequin in your pocket.

And it seems like the fear that you've instilled for the night mother has almost like reawaken some of the old mist and you hear Ariana speak well done you've made a connection wait that was right i thought maybe i dishonor you there are many forms of power fear is certainly a powerful one i have exploited many connections in the past that's what i do i connect people whether through the speaking stone or through this magical mist there are many ways oh okay uh you're welcome how are you doing onyx

i'm okay i don't i think last time i talked to you i wasn't a grills grill grill yet oh you're a grills grill now that's wonderful great great for you i'm also still a little bit on fire that's kind of working for you though thank you oh yeah you're dressed like a bride like a flaming wow amelia bedelius never Anyway, it seems like you are growing stronger

And I just wanted to say I'm proud of you And if there's anything I can do to help on your quest To, you know, fix the meaglet and restore me to full power As is our promise, I would really love to help out You know, I have been thinking that when I became a phone I thought that I would be more powerful But I feel like I am not as powerful So maybe a phone isn't as powerful as a weapon

Is it possible? You know, information can certainly be a weapon, but I would say that like a sick-ass mace or a trident or like a big gleaming sword, that's always going to be a little better. Okay, I'm going to sleep on that. Thank you so much. Your CEO wisdom is unparalleled.

Thank you so much. I love to speak in easily digestible soundbites. With that, I feel like I've gotten her Instagram before. Ariana. Okay. She's kind of like a true influencer. Oh, great. But like the first one ever.

Wow. All right. Well, now we know Leamund. We know her. You've given me so much to think about Ariana. Of course, yeah. Every time I talk to you, my life changes by like 180 degrees. And if you go, if you go 180 twice, you've done a full circle.

I know. So I just keep becoming the same person every other time. But you're different every time you go around the sun. And that's what's really important to remember. Okay, I'm going to think about all this. Okay, just think about what you want to do. And make sure to, of course, bring them Beagleith back in line for me. Thank you.

Yes. Jenz, I totally forgot that I promised that I was going to bring the megalith back online. Okay, you can't put more stuff on my plate. We have to add that. I don't get how burned out you are. I'm quite literally respected about Esmerelda. Ismerelda? showed up. She asked questions about

the wizard she was looking for. And when Irwin was like, can you help us with the wine thing? She was like, no, I've got stuff to do, right? That's a she-e-oh. He's saying no? Sometimes. Okay. I will meditate on Zizis as well.

All right. Let's go back and, you know, we don't have to tell Nyack that we went to the cool party. It was awesome, right? I was so scared. I was on final so much longer than I was. It's kind of a you problem. Like every time I thought we finally snuffed it out, more games. You're wearing like a multi-layered wedding dress.

It was like one of the worst things you could wear into a fire. Yeah. It was a terrifying sight. You and I for a moment knowing you were about to do it was like, hell is real and this is the devil. I forgot you were wearing a wedding dress during it. These people are traumatized. It's just, yeah. Everyone's been mind-frieked.

Let's get back. to the burger master's mansion. Yeah, you just hear people casually going back to their house and saying, well, hell's real. That was absolutely real. Brian and Wyatt has come. We're going to have to fight that dude,

Isaac, aren't we? He just seems like a guy we're going to have to fight. Yeah, I seem so. We're just going to have to. You know, things are just so sexy around here. Okay, so you guys head back to the mansion, and then we cut over to Nyack,

and Bluetooth in the graveyard. As you walked, Bluetooth was just, like, listing different weapons in Fortnite to you. That sounds awesome, yeah. I can't wait to watch you play sometime. Yeah, Darth Sidious is in there now. It doesn't play as Darth Sidious from Star Wars. Cool. And now that we're getting close to the graveyard, we have to be pretty quiet

because we're invisible, but they can still hear us if we're talking pretty loudly about weapons. So you enter the graveyard and you see it's this. this uneven mixture of simple plots and massive sepulchurs, most of which bear a crests featuring a hound in the letter V. Go and give me an investigation check. You can do this with advantage because of Bluetooth. All right. 19.

Hell yeah. With a 19, you take a closer look at some of these graves, and you see that they have very clearly been freshly dug up. Whoa. And there's hounds on all of the graves? Yes, there's hounds in a... V, which you can infer is for Volokovic. All right, Bluetooth, this is a pet cemetery.

Pretty sad. Not sucks at all. I think someone's taking up these dogs. And I will say with a 19, you also find one other thing. A tiny little scrap of a red bandana. Red bandana. Unpocket that. Okay.

Can I dig one of these fresh graves? You want to re-dig the grave? I want to dig this freshly turned grave and see if someone's robbed the dog corpse. Great, go ahead. I won't make you roll for this. Do you just get down on your hands and knees and start digging? Like a dog, yeah.

Whoa, this guy's crazy. Bluetooth's starting to, like, warm up to you a little bit, and he gets down and starts digging as well. He uses his little scorpion tail, like a backhoe. Now you're doing it. Beep, beep, beep. Thanks, man. You know, you're not so bad, actually.

I thought you were lame like Jens, but you're like, I don't know. We should, we should dig up graves all the time. Yeah, this is, could this be like our thing? Are we like, the grave diggers? Is it crazy to let the shirts that say that? I don't hate that. Right, sick. He's going to use his stinger tail to write gravediggers on your back.

Ow, that's on my skin. It's like a tattoo. I thought we were going to screen print it later. Oh, my God. We're screen printing it because you don't wear a shirt. You drew Bluetooth, you drew blood. That's not okay. You can dirt to moon now.

I, no. Let's just look and sir it's in here. Okay. So you dig up this grave and confirm your suspicions. It has totally been evacuated. There are no more body parts in here. You do see a dog collar, strangely. Whoa, they're taking the dogs and leaving the collars.

I put on the dog collar. What does the tag say? It says Magda Magda? Call me Magda Bluetooth No Okay You wouldn't write on my back

I'm not going to call you Magda Fair enough And you know what? Boundaries are good Yeah, they're healthy Should we go back Or do you want to do like a stakeout For a little bit I think we should go back

It seems like they've gotten Whatever they need it from here Yeah, good call All right, let's go back Hey, Nyak, do you think that, I don't know, do you think I could ever, like, be my own sort of hero, you know, go solo? No, for sure not. Just feel like you can be like a real cool single operator.

You go off on, like, stealth mission sometimes, and I feel like that'd be cool for me to do. Wow. Nyak feels the gloom coming, coursing through his body. yeah i guess i do go off on my own and it's pretty badass yeah it's like it's nice to have backup but sometimes you just have to be a solo operator right take a bump of crocane i don't need anybody i'm invincible bluetooth i don't even need you what all right we'll talk more about it let's get back all right uh niac like dodges between gravestones even though he's invisible so you guys all head back to the mansion. The pyre is still burning brightly, but it looks like pretty much everyone

has retired. Their bellies are full and their heads are already aching from the Applejack Brandy and they've all mostly gone to bed or passed out where they stood. So the town is quiet for the first time since you arrived. And as you get back to the house, you do see that the baron has arrived back as well. And he says, I'm not here. We are not here. We are not here do not worry we're going up to the guest room you don't got to worry about us all right on yeah yeah uh well citizen have fun staying at my place oh man or rather her place kiss my feet say that again kiss my feet well all right you are the burger master yeah until she's wearing your wife's wedding dress i think sadly that is part of the rules we were pretty loose to them

you know it builds morale and that's what's important around here all right here we go yeah kiss jones's feed. Way to go, Jen. Yeah. All right. Why do they taste like mozzarella? She was helping.

Because the ways that you'd get mozzarella is by stepping on some mozzarella grapes. Yeah. Okay. That's what we call balls of mozzarella cheese is mozzarella grapes and you have to stretch them out.

Okay? You have to stretch them out with your hands or you can do with your feet like Alex does. I got to watch out next election because you guys have what it takes to be the real burger master. You're full of ideas. You too much. No, you're a politician. and you guys are too much.

Seriously, though, go upstairs. Okay. Oh, before I go... Go to bed. Okay, yeah. I do have this one thing that I was told to hand to you. This is actually pretty exclusive stuff. This does not happen to every recipient of the Burgermaster for a day. Okay. It's pretty rare, actually, but I want you to see this.

And he hands you a little note that has the crest of St. Markobia on it. Oh, God, please don't be from the abbot. Please don't be from the abbot. I crack it open. It says, Two Jins Lindell, shit farmer, human shovel, and temporary burger master.

You and your traveling party are cordially invited to a wedding. The wedding event of the season. The ceremony begins at noon. The following day in the sanctuary of St. Markovia. The good baron will assist you with your passage. Cordially yours,

the abbot of St. Markovia. Fuck. Shit. To noon, we have to get... Yeah. We haven't slept in like... Yeah, 40 hours. We have time for 12 hours of sleep. I know, I want 12 hours of sleep.

We have time for it. We have to go to bed. I have nothing to wear. Oh, I actually, it was in my game plan to duplicate the wedding dress for tomorrow. Thank God. Thank God. To try to throw them off, but I have to do it like a half hour before. Okay.

So you can also wear the wedding dress. All right, thank you. Now I can sleep easy. I'll also wear white as is my way. We should wear white. I'll look for something that ismark has in Eastmark's wardrobe. All right. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty burnt out.

But, hey, okay, this works out. They want us there. We're going to have to burn this fucking forward what's going on in there. Yeah. Great. Okay. I'll start putting together my wedding present. What?

Yeah. Alcoist fire. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Barron.

Oh, we have to get also. Also the spell squirrel. Yeah, yeah, we'll get that tomorrow morning, though. Our buddy's working on it. Yeah, he's hard to work up there. All right, let's get to sleep. Let's all get into the burgomaster's bed. I really forgot that we called you a human shovel.

Really? Did you? Did you now? Maybe you guys shouldn't say that stuff. You're just going to forget it, huh? All right, night, y'all. You see Fiona Wachter winks at you all and then heads up to bed with the baron. Nighty night.

Okay. Good night. after another incredibly eventful day in Borovia, you finally settle into bed. Oh, my God. So you're all going to sleep in the Baron's big bed? It's like a California king. You can definitely off it.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, guys, they stole all the dogs from the pet graveyard. Here is a tiny little red bandana. Oh, right. You didn't tell us any of the stuff. Wait, is that why you were wearing a new choker? Yes, my new nickname is Magda.

Okay, we'll call you Magda. You're going to freak someone out that dog got stolen, and we're going to get to a weird fight where it's really hard to. to defend you. Well, it's good. This is just going to look really nice with a wedding dress. You stole a collar from a dog grave, is what you did.

I didn't steal. They stole the dog. They stole the dog. They stole the dog. It's going to be hard. I picked up the evidence. It's going to be hard when someone accuses you of stealing the dog corpse. Yeah, but then I'll show them this.

And I hold up the tiny little scrap of a bandana. Okay. And it'll all come together. Oh, let me go ahead. I'm assuming this is Esmerel does. Can I sniff the bandana and see if it's, smells like anything that was like in, or looks like anything that was in the wagon. Oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah. That's great. Investigation check. Great. Do that with advantage. That's fun. Ooh, um, really good. Again, 18 on the die plus 3.21.

This bandana smells like a mixture of alchemist fire. Okay. And horses. Okay. Great. That's our girl. That's Asmeralda. Classic Esmeralda.

She's obsessed with alchemist fire. And we love her for that. It's so crazy that I want to be. your distinctive smells be horses. Yeah, she's a horse girl. I thought that the baroness's scent of lavender and canola oil was as bad as it can get, but horses is bad. She's a horse girl.

She's a horse fire girl. She loves horses. She loves fire. My new young adult novel, The Horse Fire Girl, Sixth figure in advance. All right, let's get some sleep. We have a wedding at noon. Okay, so we're going to do a little prep, right? So let's wake up, let's set an alarm for 10.

Okay? Yeah, because I have to get Z. The dream journal, I have to get the spell scroll, and I have to duplicate the dress. Do we have to set an alarm? Can we just wake up naturally? When there's an alarm set, it makes me feel anxious, and I'm already kind of buzzing a lot from the cocaine. Let's set an alarm. Let's set an alarm for 1130. Just in case. Just in case. And we can rush. Do you want me to be the alarm? That'd be great. Okay. Thank you so much. What sort of alarm would you like? Would you like Marimba? Would you like bells? Would you like crystals? What you like? Let's do crystals.

Crystals, definitely not bells. Yeah, definitely not pills. Would you like dull crystals? Would you like sharp crystals? Dull, would you like sexy crystals? Dull crystals. Actually, sexy crystals. Sexy crystals and maybe the sound of the ocean.

Sexy crystals at the beach. You got it. Sexy crystals at the beach. Crystal shell wave crashing. All right. Actually, can you play waves crashing right now? Because I could use some white noise. Oh, that's great.

The white noise is excellent. I've had nine drinks. I really need to go to bed. Just because I'm worried about if, like, all of us are going to be able to follow us. sleep. Can I just cast sleep on all of us? Yeah, that's, sleep is not going to come for me. So that, like, we definitely are going to follow sleep. Yeah. I'm, I'm wide awake. Uh, beautiful. So you all pass out, uh, and for,

oh, as we're falling asleep, I think I'm going to grogly kind of say, um, I think it's possible. I am going to trade Bluetooth for a really sick weapon. Okay. So don't get attached. He carved his name into me. And then I fall asleep. Nyack reaches for Honix, but passes out. So you go to sleep, dreaming about your mission tomorrow. But for once, you have a undisturbed rest. No dreams come.

You're just filled with a comforting blackness until the early morning. Before the sun has started to rise, Nyack, you try to sleep, but you're interrupted by the muffled grunts of labor and exertion from several people working. Snooze, snooze. Okay, muffled grunts of labor. I think I'm going to just grogly get out of bed.

Eyes still half shut like I'm wandering to the bathroom, but I'll go towards the labor. Okay. Give me a perception check. It's a 16. 16. Hey, we're trying to sleep in here. With a 16, you look out the window and peer through the darkness

towards the gazebo and the pool and the gate up to the abbey. And do you have dark vision, by the way? Yes. Okay, great. Awesome. Then with your dark vision, through the darkness, you see a large, bald man that could only be Izek, leading a group of people wearing donkey masks on their heads and chains on their feet.

Each pushes a barrel or holds a large box. Once they arrive at the gate to the abbey, they pause. You see Izek walk over to the wreckage of the gazebo next to the shimmering pond. He speaks to a man in a brown robe seated there holding a pitcher. The man nods, then walks to the gate. He opens it and ushers. everyone upstairs. Okay.

They could just do this every night. This could be super normal. I think I'm going to go and shake Onyx and Jens awake. What the actual fuck? I swing on Nyack. It's not even light out. Okay, the alarm is set for 11.30.

I had a bad dream. Oh, my God. I swing on him again. Should I play the sexy crystals? No, not yet. Yeah, play the sexy crystals. There's still holes. There's still a little crystals.

There's still hope. There's still hope. That's very sexy. And I turns the lights on in the room, super bright. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was so fucked. What happened now?

And I saw some people going into the abbey with some barrels. Okay. I think all the barrels have dead dogs in them. That is so fucked up. We have to do something. That's so fucked up. I could disguise myself as the morning Lord and just not. on the door.

Well, no, no. For sure, no. I'm so sleepy still. I'm so sleepy still. Not now. I take Keychain's battery out. Okay, the question is, do we go to the wedding at noon or do we go right now? Right.

Well, they're planning for something to happen at this wedding, right? I mean, I think that so's barrels are just filled with. already dead corpses, right? Not actively in arm people or no? Are they going to jump out and be undead and attack us? I think we have to go spy.

We'll go now? I think we have to go spy. Okay. This is fucked. This is fucked. We had to get up so early. We have to go to a wedding today. I got five and a half hours of sleep. That's nothing. That's barely anything. I think we all got enough to like, you know,

recover our HP and whatnot. No, no, no. I got was worse than pulling an all-nighter. Yeah, because now I feel groggy. Yeah. I wish I didn't sleep at all. Does anyone, do we have more cocaine? To know I need more.

Do you have more cocaine or no? Oh, yeah, actually. Yeah, I, I potted off them as they left. Okay. I snort some crocane. All right, actually, I feel fine. I have a second, wind. I can keep this going.

All right, yeah. You all snort some crocane, which has no mechanical use other than to make it so that you don't have to take a long rest. Yeah, okay. Oh, I have to shit. And you're going to, head up to the abbey if we want i can also just send bluetooth to go look into the window let's all get dressed up and be ready to go but send Bluetooth a little bit ahead okay blue tooth is going to go a little

bit ahead and then i'll kind of like look through his eyes a bit you send out Bluetooth it is dawn the sun is starting to rise and as Bluetooth uh departs up the hill um he sees um a single figure hiking back down the trail. Now that the sun is out, you can tell Beyond a Shadow of a doubt it isaq. Sweat is steaming off of his bald head as he looks left and right, trying to make sure he wasn't followed. And then he heads back into the village. Bluetooth continues up the trail. It's fairly familiar to you at this point. He zooms in. At the gate, at the top of the hill, he does see two of these mutants dressed in like the closest thing to fineries that they have. It does seem like maybe they have been stealing clothes from scarecrow's and corpses.

There's a person and there is a rat person. And they are standing at the front of this gate at the top of the hill. It almost looks as if they are like the welcoming party, as if they are ushers for this event to come. You see they've got a little burlap bow ties tied onto their humanoid necks. And Bluetooth zips past them and into the abbey. And as he does, you see that the preparations for the world. wedding are nearly complete. Garlands and bouquets line every surface, and the sweet chords of a masterfully played loot drift through the air like clouds of incense. At the eastern door, you see the donkey-headed

criminals being ushered into a white sterile hallway by a fly-headed mutant, and in the center of the room, standing in front of the shimmering pool, you see three figures, two of which you recognize. One is the abbot, a holy man and a brown robe. The other is Gorek, a small creature with lobster claws and a lute. The third, however, is a young woman. She has alabaster's skin and is dressed in a faded red gown. Her auburn hair is bundled under a crisp wimple so as not to touch her porcelain shoulders. As Gorek strums his lute, the woman seems lost in thought. Bluetooth flies closer to get a better view, and as he does, you see that next to the abbot

is a wine barrel full of body parts. Oh, no. Okay, that's answer. The abbot lifts one of the woman's hands, and from under the dress's long sleeve, you see that one of her fingers is green with rot. The abbot touch disapprovingly, then grabs the digit and rips it clean off.

Can't have that now, can me, my dear? Not on today of old days. He then pulls a needle and thread from his robe, selects a fresh finger from the barrel, and starts sewing it on. As he does, he sings a hymn to match the tune on Gorax lute. Oh, the dawn, she comes, oh she comes. Oh, the sun, she comes, oh, she comes.

Should we? It's something sexy, might be sexy. It is catchy. Bluetooth flies even closer, and as he does, you see for the first time that every inch of the woman's white-powdered skin is covered in stitches and seams. Yep. As the abbot finishes sewing on the new finger,

the woman's face twists, into a broken smile, and she lets out a joyful, blood-curdling scream. It's Frankenstein's monster. Jen's nods approving me. And that's where we'll end our session. I've never read the book.

I've just hung out with a lot of dickheads. Oh, man, it's all coming together now, you know. That's super fun. Oh, okay. Wow. Yeah, so that's, so that's not Esmerelda then, right? Just another weird thing that's happening. Wow, so where the fuck is Esmeralda?

It remains to be seen. Save it for the short rest, my man. We shall find out. We shall chat about it over on the short rest. Patreon.com slash Natpod. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D-O-D-D-O-D. We are, we are. Don't do it.

Frankenstein's monster. Yeah. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? I do. We've got a Dimension 20 Live show. Come see Dimension 20 Live as Starstruck in Vegas, November 1st, Search Dimension 20 live. Yeah, check out my substack.

Substack.com slash at Jake Kerwitz. Right on. And you can follow us on social media that we're mirror-may-N-U's at C.H. me at Caldwell, at a extrasdemy and at Jurykertz is Jake. And you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod.

That's NEDD-D-POD. We are, we are, we are the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We're going to be able to be. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S, aka the Lord of the Fjord.

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My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show. Julie B, Mama Mayhem, Burgermaster for the Day, Jen Rules Kinda, Caitlin H, buttwax, Thomas C, and finally, Dark Lotus Creations. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our patrons, and of course, our Benevolent Council of Elders. We'll be over on our Patreon for the bonus episode.

Until then, we'll catch you all next time. That was a hate gum podcast.