Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep. 12: The Ghost in the Glass

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

The Triplets mount a rescue mission inside the Abbey of St. Markovia! Onyx makes a call, Nyack nets a net and Jens reignites his passion as the Trinyvale X Strahd crossover continues!Subscribe to NaddPod on Patreon! - Patreon.com/NaddpodCREDITSEditing by Brian MurphyProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMUSIC INCLUDES:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford“Sweeping Up the Shards” by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford"Barovian Tango" by Emily Axford“Where is the Manager??” by Emily Axford“A Memorable Feast” by Emily Axford"Oh Melora" by Emily Axford"The Gate" by Emily Axford"Trinyvale Closing Theme" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.combe. This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to Trinnavale. Trinnaval. And also, Barovia. Barovia. Bavapha. Barovia. Oh, yeah. Ring the freaking bells, baby, because it's time. for another episode of Trinneville Extrad. I am your Dracula uncle, aka Druncle Caldwell Tanner, and as you can tell, my voice is just barely hanging in there

and we're going to power through, getting over a bit of a cold, but I think it's going to actually help because we're in a creepy, spooky, spooky place full of flim and mucus and creepy crawly things that are gross. What's scarier than a cold? It sounds cool like you smoked a cigar last night.

I wish. I'm smoking one right now. That's how we got as cold. He was sharing a cigar with sick dudes. Cool. I love going to the classic cigar lounge with the sickest men in town. They're just hacking. And speaking of creepy crawlies,

I am joined by my creepiest-crawliest, pretty-pret-players. Brian Murphy. Hired Stefan Ur-Kill because the lutein is a pill. Ooh. Jen's Lindell. Nice. And Emily Axford.

Pastel mess in a wedding dress. It's onyx Lumier. Yes. Just always have to be reminding everyone I'm in the wedding dress. It's unacceptable. Unacceptable. That's the name of the reality show where she goes into kitchens and judges.

How sanitary they are. I'm sorry, did you say it's unacceptable? No, you passed. You are unacceptable. Okay, great. Why are you turning down my kitchen then? And finally, a contestant on that show is Jake Hurwitz. Feeling nervous about this wedding service and also my new reality show,

Mack of the Rantafor. Ah, well, friends, before we get started on our new reality show, Venture, how about a quick recap? Do it. All right. Yes. When last we met, Jins had just summoned a ghost assassin inside a magic mirror. The assassin asked Jens who he should kill. And after some deliberation, he chose the lute-playing lobster mutant, aka loutent.

The triplets then told the assassin to act when the code word pretty sexy was uttered. next with margaritas in hand onyx let a grills grill strip to the gazebo and pond near the gate to the abbey correction i was not drinking because niac was not drinking oh my god but i'm still cutting loose you're holding margarita glasses but there's nothing in there

i know i was just saying that to bother jens we're having fun i'm mad at you guys in real life going sober to be annoying to someone is very funny no i can party i just have to head home by nine Once there, you encountered the ghost of St. Markovia, who revealed that she was the ancestor of Marina by way of her biological mother, Demira. Marcovia said that the ghost of Straud's past had all conspired for this moment, and that she

would tell you more under the sun in the Abbey. Stunned by this knowledge, Marina informed you that Marcovia had once led a rebellion against Strad and nearly defeated him. She also mentioned that Marcovia wielded a sword of pure sunlight. After squabbling over who had claimed said sword, you investigated the pool and found that it had mild healing properties. Next, you headed back to the house. Onick stashed her magic dream journal under the Baron's bed,

and Jens and Nyack prepared an all-appetizer dinner for your Warrraven guests, Irwin and Danica. During the meal, you all did lines of crocane and theorized that the Baron was smuggling something up to the Abbey in the wine barrels that had originally come from Irwin's tavern. You also learned that the lieutenant, was once a man named Gorek, and that the mutants from the abbey had often been seen lurking near the town's graveyard. As the dinner concluded, Irwin agreed to send a few

Wair Ravens to watch over the abbey tomorrow. Afterward, Nyack and Bluetooth headed to check out the graveyard, and Onyx and Jins went to watch the Baron light the wolf's head pyre. While there, Ony stepped into the flaming wolf's head, causing everyone to think that the nightmother had returned. This upsurge in fear caused the puppet Ariana to awaken in Onyx's pocket. Onyx confided to her that while being a phone is great, she might need to become a stronger weapon for the fight ahead. Meanwhile, in the graveyard, Nyack and Bluetooth found that several graves had been freshly dug up. You also found a scrap of red bandana, which you concluded must belong to Esmeralda. Upon returning to the mansion, the burgomaster gave you an invitation from

the abbot to a wedding tomorrow at noon. In order to get a solid 12 hours in, you all promptly went to sleep. Unfortunately, your plan was interrupted by the early morning sounds of Izek, leading a crew of donkey-headed criminals, as well as barrels and crates, up to the abbey. While you prepared for action, you sent Bluetooth ahead to spy once more. At the top of the hill, he saw the abbot standing next to a pale woman in a tattered red dress. The abbot pulled a finger out of a barrel next to him and proceeded to sew it onto the woman's hand. It was at this point that you noticed that the woman's entire body was covered in stitches and seams.

And that is where we are now. So Bluetooth is still up in the abbey. The abbot seems distracted attending to Vasilka, the corpse bride, and has not noticed him yet. But if he lingers longer, he might. What would you like to do? Call him back, I guess, right? Let's get going.

This seems bad. I send out my signal for Bluetooth. Retreat, tactical retreat? Yeah, retreat, don't get cut. Like you did last time. So naughty. Serpentine. Serpentine.

That's from Call of Duty, I think. Shh. Don't yell Serpentine, though, as you're a treat. Serpentine! Rapping around like a snake. All right. Okay, so... Okay, so we see that the guy is actually doing something so mean right now.

Yeah, he's doing something so mean. Wait, can we still see Isak? Oh, blue teeth, follow Isak. Okay, yes. All right, he's going to follow Izek. Isaac is going to head into the town square and as soon as he gets there

he kind of just sighs and starts like picking up the people that are drunk and have like passed out from the festival before and he just tosses them into the fountain

one by one to wake them up okay so he wasn't charmed at all he's just doing errands so he's just got a bad deal with the abbot he's just dropping off the body parts he's fine honestly Nyak you might be able to get him from here

do you want to just take a shot wait why no no no no stop Everyone fucking stop. We have like 30 people we have to fight. He pulls his bow back. Why does anyone want to fight this fucking giant dude? You see, Isaac pulls out like a little like note pad

and says like, oh, so many things to do today. Yeah, he's just complicit. He's fine. He's overworked. He's just complicit. He's fine. What am I going to find summer squash this time of year? Yeah. All right, look. You get to live another day, Isaac. Your dirty deeds will go unpunished.

Okay, so Frankenstein's monster, look at Onix again, is about to get married, Weird that you saw the red ribbon thing in the graveyard, right? I assumed something belonged to Esmerelda. Maybe Esmerelda is not captured. Maybe Esmeralda is going to freaking pop out and start off in dudes. Yeah, maybe she'll handle this whole thing. Unless Esmeralda is dead and is the corpse bride.

She could be dead, yeah. There's a lot of rooms we have not explored yet. In the abbey, yeah. Okay, yeah, let's go find her and then burn the whole thing down. Everyone's bad. Okay. Okay, to burn it down. We do need to get...

The Alchemyl and the fireball. Yeah. As you mention the fireball spell scroll, you hear a scratching sound at the attic door. And when you open it, a skeletal cat hops down from the attic with a scroll in its mouth. Meow. Cute. The cat drops the scroll on the ground and then looks up as if expecting payment. Nyack, did you catch the cat's name?

Bones. That is cricket, wasn't it, a grasshopper or something? Cricket? Cricket. It's correct. Yeah. It responds to cricket. Okay.

Give it cash, Nyack. Nyack pats his hands. Oh, yeah. Nike's holding Jens' wallet, of course, because he holds all of Jen's things. No, hey, excuse you? Here. How much gold, Jens? One piece of gold.

Good kitty. You see the kitty bites into it and make sure it's real, and then just kind of nods. It says, and then scurries back up to the attic. Attic cricket. And you now have this fireball scroll. Great. Okay, fireball scroll, load up my alchemist fire into my pack. Um, should we send Bluetooth to retrieve the dream journal?

Yeah, why not? Great. Okay. So yeah, Bluetooth will go in to retrieve the dream journal. Serpentine, serpentine. Dude, stop. Whoa. Dude, I'm just fucking with you, man.

You're cool. Okay. No, yeah. Wow, is that sort of self-awareness that you hurt his feelings? Yeah. You're really growing. I went on too strong. I'm trying to be better.

I'm trying to, like, just. expand my horizons and like find new ways to embrace like the the mindset that I'm all about wow yeah did that make sense because like when I listen to the podcast about it it didn't make sense to me but I just repeated it as if it made sense and I feel like now it's it's sinking in damn could really use that journal huh okay okay go Bluetooth okay before you go yeah I actually don't know if I need to be a boy mama anymore because you've become a man I do feel like my body is coursing with tea right now.

I feel like I'm going through. When we were on our solo mission, I saw that you had armpit hair. And that's rad. That means you don't need parents anymore. I feel like I'm almost ready for like solo missions. Or maybe I need to like graduate. But I don't know how to do that, mom. How do I do that?

It's because I've been babying you. But you're ready to be on your own. That's right. But before you do, actually do a favor for Mommy. Okay, that's one more, one more, one more favor. Cool. He scrambles up. The Baron and the Baroness were up late last night at the party and the festival.

So they're still snoozing. He's going to scramble up and just like, actually, he'll go underneath the bed and cut a secondary slit. And the journal just falls right into his hand and he scrambles back without them even noticing. So clever. And then he hands you this little dream journal. And here is what it says. Oh, let's see what kind of.

cheeky dreams this guy is having. So you recover the dream journal from the baron's bed and peer inside. And they're written in a deep purple ink is an entry labeled Vargas Vlakovich. The dream is written like a stage play and reads as follows. Setting, the wolf's head jamboree, night. The baron stands in the center of a massive wicker wolf's head. All around him, people wearing wolf's masks hold toys. torches and approach slowly. They lower their torches in unison and the head burst into flames.

As the flames lick at the baron's feet, he screams. No, please, I only did what I had to do. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Suddenly, Izek steps forward from the crowd. His arms have been ripped to pieces and blood spouts freely from his shoulders. Father, I beg you, leave this town. Take Victor and Fiona, and let me rule in your stead. Take the offer from Dolter von Holtz and buy the land near the winery. Do it. Do it before it is too late.

The flames grow brighter and hotter. The baron screams, then wakes up. End. Issaq's the baron's son? Does the baron have two sons? He's double dipping.

He's double dipping. Oh, he cheated. He cheated. Does the Baroness know, though? He cheated. You cheated on your son. And then the offer from Doltter von Olds? What's that? Who is Dolter von Holtz?

Have we... You haven't encountered that name before. And it was something about the winery. It was about taking the buying land. There's all this stuff going on at the winery. There's just too much stuff. Okay, we just woke up. How are you burned out?

Yeah, I'm just burned out. You know what needs to be burnt out, the abbey? Yeah. So let's just explode the hell out of the abbey. Then we can do whatever. whatever else we need to do. Let's add it to the list of winery stuff, right? There's some other guy that's offering people stuff.

Jen's, I'm going to tiptoe around you right now because you're volatile. I need to consider one more things that we add to our list of things to do. Tread so carefully go on. Okay. I am considering, does anyone know if Vampire's Dream? That's a great title for a novel. I doubt it. Okay, never mind then.

I don't know why. I think in dreaming, you see Marina pipes up. I cannot speak from a place of science, but dreaming is purely a human thing. I do not know if vampires are allowed that privilege on death. They're dead. Is there anyone else that we want to get with this dream journal? Because I think that Bluetooth is ready for a solo mission. Oh.

And we could dispatch Bluetooth to collect more dreams. Wow. You think I'm ready for that? You're the dream catcher, Bluetooth. You will be a scourge on everyone's dreams. Dream catcher, that's so sick. Yeah. I'm going to get a side cut.

Whatever you need. You know what? Whatever, because you make the decisions now. I don't get your air anymore. I'm an adult, and I'm going to sleep on a mattress on the floor and an apartment. That's awesome. Yeah. Is there anyone else that we know that is a human ahead?

Maybe is this daughter Van Oldt? Oh, yeah, the one that made the office. Yeah. Would it be near the winery? Yes, I believe that perhaps that person might not be here, although we could inquire before we go up. Yeah. Okay, so maybe we try to find out where they live, and then we dispatch Bluetooth to collect their dreams. We're talking about doing other stuff instead of going to the abbey right now? Is that what's happening? No, no, we're going to the abbey. We're going to see the abbey. Jens, we are going to see abbey. We're so going to go to the abbey. We're so going to see abbey.

It just feels like we're doing other stuff. You're the thing. Okay, Jens, when you are making a garden, you don't plant one seed and wait for that seed. You plant many seeds. And you see what grows, given the growing conditions. Okay. Otherwise, you're a farmer and you have one ear of corn, gents, and that's not going to make you a lot of

money. Okay, so I would say this is a farmer. Okay, no, no, this is not a serious. This is more like a wolf has jumped the wall into our garden and we need to deal with that a single pumpkin. Imagine that. One pumpkin. Right? One pumpkin. This is not

We're talking about cultivating stuff. I'm talking about eliminating threats here. Frankenstein's monster is on the fucking altar right now, okay? I can sell it for the seeds at the end of the day. The winery stuff, in my opinion, seems like a tomorrow jens problem. Okay. The person, the monster waiting at the aisle seems like a now problem. What if Bluetooth just goes to get Irwin's dreams?

I literally don't care what Bluetooth It does. Let's just send Bluetooth. Yeah, Bluetooth. Go get Irwin's dreams. Okay. Should I be sneaky about it? Of course, always. Great.

Serpentine. Slither, dream catcher. You never approach a problem. Add on. Right. Okay. You need to, I give him a copy of the art of works. I know a lot of tech pros like it.

All right. Slither. This is strategy for a work, but also life. Sidewind or dream catcher. That's my code name now. Cool. So we start just kind of. like wiggling off towards his destination not going in a straight path at all um he is being so literal

okay should we go back to bed yeah so that works wait what do you want to go now yes oh the second what oh but i feel like i'm ready to go back to bed i just feel like we saw what we needed to see no yeah but like sure i'm just feeling so fried I'm feeling gaslit here Just What more do we need to gather He has a barrel full of body parts Just a couple more Zs

Okay Yeah Right but if we wait till noon The actual ceremony will happen And we'll just roll up as bad shit's already happening Why wouldn't we go right this fucking second Why do we want to kill Izak Why do we want to go find out who offered someone

A fucking room in a winery Like I just feel like I'm going fucking nothing Okay, guys, Jin's being totally crazy, but he might have a point. Yeah. He's got the point. He's going about it in a crazy way, though. Right. This is ultimately a constructive conversation, which I'm happy to have.

Yeah. I'm honestly, thank you for, like, saying you. You guys want to do everything but deal with this fucking obvious thing that we had to deal with. I just think the garden thing you're talking about doesn't track. Okay. Yeah, you're totally, totally onto something. I appreciate that feedback. And I say, let's go for the.

Happy, let's have a snack before we go, just so we're... Yeah. Okay. Feeling. Yeah, let's have a snack. I mean, is there a reason that we don't just say PS right now? That we don't say PS right now, because we're not there, and Erkil might just show up and get murdered. Okay.

We don't know that he's going to one-shot the Luton. Okay. He needs backup. He needs backup. He's part of our backup. We go in, we do the... We get PS, for those listening to... code words are pretty sexy for the assassin and sort of sexy for the ravens, the rare ravens.

Not confusing at all. No, great plan. Let's serpentine in. Yeah. Okay. Well, invisibility is not much of an option here because with second level, I'll only be able to cast it on one of us. Oh, I have disguised self. Oh, I also have disguised self. I'm not going to do anything. So we could disguise ourselves as, oh, we get some donkey heads. Okay, underneath my donkey head, I am going to look like the morning lord okay why jens why do you let other people's actions which don't affect you affect you it does affect me it could get me murdered and do something crazy guys let's let's go you turn and see uh nyack is the eight-year-old boy again do we want to grab donkey masks real quick before we leave yeah okay yeah i'm gonna kick

off the day by giving bardics to both of you guys so you guys both have them just for anything i have plus six stealth do you guys want me to go get the donkey masks i have plus seven stealth oh sick okay uh and then i'll cast invisibility on niac niac why don't you go down to the stockyard and see if you can find any donkey masks around bring them back up here and then we will make our way up to the avid you got it dude mary kate and ashley shut up All right. Now he's going to sneak over to the stockyards singing, The morning, Lord, oh, he comes, yes, he comes.

Go and give me a stealth check with advantage. Oh, my God. 19 now to die, that's 26. Sick. All right, great, yeah. With the 26, you're blast and past everyone's passive. You're blast in passives, dude. So by the stockyard, actually by the stocks,

you find like a little crate with a hinged top and inside it there are extra donkey masks. So you can grab a couple of those. Groovy. Who said that? Groovy. What is this strange word? Oh, gee whiz.

Cheez it, cheese it. Naya grabs as many masks as I can carry, I guess. Can I take four? Yeah. Okay, I'll take four. Oh, right, because Marina. Yep, that's right. I guess there's more ghost children around.

They've got to shoot them away. way. All right, great. So you head back. You're going to put on these donkey masks. I think Nyack, if you want to stay invisible, you can stay invisible for this. Oh, yeah. And then that way you can pop out if anything goes wrong.

As an eight-year-old. Well, don't do that. We'll give you a code word. Let's say, kind of sexy. Okay. Means that Nyack will pop out. Could also be not sexy. No, everything's got to be kind of on the same theme, though.

It's got to be on the same thing. Oh, yeah. Got it. Okay. Great. And then me and Onyx and, oh, and then we have four masks. So then the rest of us, including keychain, we'll put on donkey masks. Entering donkey mode.

Okay. Let's go donkey. I am going to disguise myself as the morning lord underneath the mask, though, so Jen's doesn't see and it doesn't set him off. Like in the parables when the morning lord would visit as a beggar. You saw nothing. What? You saw nothing. If Jen's ears about this, he's going to unravel.

He's going to flip, yeah. Yeah. Jen's looks so tense as he looks out the window. I think that is the secret of his swordsmanship. He's coiled like a spring. I think so, yeah. Actually, I've never seen him this crazy before. I think this is the most crazy I've ever seen him.

Is everyone ready to go? Yes! It's this rotten land affects everyone in one way or another. All right. Why don't we do this? Nyack, since you're invisible, why don't you go a little bit ahead, essentially as the scout,

you can check to make sure the coast is clear, we'll follow, and then if we ever get caught, we put the donkey masks on, and we play dumb. Perfect. That's a plan.

Great plan. Okay. Under pressure, you really perform. That was so good, Jen. I'm four hours of sleep, too. You seem like you're just saying that to placate me. You need a win, brother, and you just got it.

We don't need the dreams of some random landlord or anything right now. High five. spitefully high five, Nyack. As you prepare to go, Onyx, you feel a buzzing in your pocket. And you pull out this Ariana doll. I hold older to my ear like a phone. Hello? Hello.

Hello. Oh, Unix. Is that you? Hello, babe. I, Ariana. How are you? I'm great. I'm just circling back about your desire to have a stronger weapon. Yeah, so I led my son, who has become a man. So I would have to be a man-mom, which is such a creepy friend.

No, that's not good. Yeah, so I sent him off. He's on his own now. You did? Yeah, yeah. You delegated. I know in my world, in the world of CEOs, that is a very important role. Okay, so I did that. but now I am empty-ended.

I see. Well, if you've severed your connection with Bluetooth, then perhaps I can give you something in return. Yeah. He's off on his own now, and I think eventually he'll be ready to return to me and serve me here in the gloaming, in the Faywild. But for now, I shall give you a new gift, a new boon,

to serve your greater purpose. Yes. Sometimes we must connect, and other times we must sever. You see that a small antenna pokes out of the head of the doll and it starts glowing with this pulsing light. Boing, boing, boing. And in your pocket, you feel your charm of the Pactkeeper pulse in tune. You pull it out and the charm grows, transforming into the weapon of your choice.

Ooh, okay. Whoa. I think that I still want it to look. Like, the handle is, like, one of those sort of, like, charm-ridden phones. Like, someone whose phone has too much going on. It's got, like, a pop socket. Yeah. As, like, a fiddle toy, as, like, little charms of little creatures hanging from it.

And above that, it's just a normal mall. Oh. So it's really just the handle looks like a overly personalized phone. It's so, does that, like, a bunch of stuff dangling from it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Wow. That's so cool. It's so distracting. Yeah.

It's like three Labuboos on there. There's definitely some Lububus. There's lots of, like, anime characters that I've never read the manga, too. Oh, Demon Slayer, cool. Nothing, I don't know. Awesome. And I'm back to Pact of the Blade. Sick.

And I can summon a weapon. So I think the idea is that maybe, like, if I summon a different one, it would still come out of this really garish phone. Oh, yeah. So I will say the tradeoff there is that Blue, Bluetooth is no longer under your direct control. You could still influence him. He's his own man now, though.

That is not bad for me. That is what I wanted. Right, yes. For me? Yes. For him. Yeah, he's a week old. He can be off on his own.

He has armpit air. Yeah. He's got the pinions. Most of them, okay. And with that, are you guys ready to head up to the Abbey? Yeah, I think Nyack lead the way. We will follow from a safe distance. Oh, you're invisible.

Okay. I'll shake things. every once in a while like a tiny little yeah look for my shaking or my scratching uh so you get to the gate um and you see there are two guards stationed there at the bottom of the gate but when you show up in your donkey mask they're like excuse me hello you guys supposed to be here think you're supposed to be in a stop this episode of nadpot is brought to you by square space square space is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or an old looking to grow your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain,

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We're here to help with the ceremony. Oh. And you see the other one turns and says, yeah, I think Is that supposed to take them up there? Okay, yeah. Go right ahead. I wouldn't want to go up there,

but geez, sure. Yeah, if you're helping out, then by all means. He-ha. All right. He-ah. So they, Open the gate for you, and you climb the long, jagged trail to the abbey.

As you rise higher up the hill, a light dusting of snow covers the rocky gravel path. Eventually, the road passes between two small stone outbuildings, on either side of which stretches a five-foot-high wall of jumbled stones held together with mortar. Blocking the road are two mutants in rough-spun fineries. They stand in front of a rusty iron gate that appears to be unlocked. One has a colorful feathered head like a parrot, and the other has whiskers and a snout like a rat. I'll say that you're kind of like farther down on the trail.

They haven't spotted you yet. How would you like to approach? I think we'll do the Nyack scout ahead. We stay still until we see him shaking something, and then we proceed there. Okay, yeah, I'll just do a quick, Perimeter sweep. I sniff the red bandana and start bounding around the outbuilding.

Okay. Cool. Give me a stealth check with advantage since you're invisible. 23. Awesome. Yeah. You gracefully scale this outbuilding, leaving every stone turned, I guess. There's nothing gets moved.

And you land gracefully inside this little structure. You see that it is like this little guard post. There's a bundle of musty animal furs. clearly used for sleeping. But next to that, you see a rusty shovel caked in dirt and a net woven from twigs and pine needles. Takes a net.

Say takes a net. Niac goes back and forth. He picks up a fur, picks up a shovel, and then he hears Onyx's voice in his head. I should take the net. Drops everything and picks up the net. Okay, yep. Great. You have this net.

Oh, Abbott, what a web you've woven. We're going to catch you. you in your own net and then blow you up. So you're inside the gate now. You've scrambled over this guard post. The two guards out front have not noticed you, but everyone else is still further down the hill. How do you want to proceed?

I'm going to create a distraction so they turn and these guys can sneak past. Great. I love that. Okay. How do you want to distract them? I'm going to jiggle a rock so hard on the gate building that it comes loose. You're going to collapse it? I'm going to try to.

Yeah. Okay, great. Can I find a load stone? Yeah, give me a sleight of hand to see how much destruction you can cause here. That's only an 11. I'm not going to use my bardic. Okay. As tempted as I am.

With an 11, you get enough to crumble a little bit of it, but not like fully collapse it. When you do this, when you pull out the stone and like the rocks on top of it start crumbling down, the parrot-headed guard perks up and says, Ah! Oh, no! My net! Oh, shit. Polly want a net? Shit!

The building is finally collapsing. My net's in there. Let's go. I try to run past and just stealth in, I guess. I'm going to do silent image and nets. Just out of reach. And I will run. Yeah, you see the other one goes like,

dude, your net's right there. You left it over there in the field. You've got to be more careful with your net, man. I'm sorry. Come on, I'll take you over. We'll go get your net. So they wander off a little bit of the ways, and you guys are able to sneak past.

I roll. I army crawl. I walk. I'm army calling next to a jens as he walks. You army crawl down this flower-lined path and towards the large sanctuary. I'm ruining flowers and also the wedding dress. As you crawl, you notice two ravens perched in the branches of a gnarled white tree. Give him a thumbs up. The Ravens raise their wings in the bird equivalent of a thumbs up, and they call loudly, James rules, kind of.

You don't have to say the last part. Kind of. I call back. I do complicated hand signs back to them to follow me, and then I just keep walking briskly while Onyx army crawls next to me. Jen, slow down. I can't army crawl as best as you can walk. There's a lot of brambles in that dress, Onyx.

My stomach is shredded, and not in that way. I'm crab walking. Is that good? For you, yeah. Yay. So ahead of you, you see that the large double doors of the sanctuary have been opened. And inside you see this 50-foot square room with arched, leaded glass windows and two rows of pews. The garlands and bouquets are lining every surface, and you hear once again the sweet cords of a beautiful loot,

drifting through this grand sanctuary. Do we see Esmerhalta anywhere? Yeah, do we see any rooms that Bluetooth has not gone down yet? Yes, so I'll give you a lay of the land. On either side of this large sanctuary room, you see wooden doors leading to the east and west wings. Cool.

You peeked in the west wing door, and that is where you saw Radu and Saraz in the fort. You have not looked into the east wing yet. Okay. At the front of the room, you see a small pool full of shining blue water. The pool is framed by stone staircases going up and down. Upstairs, you know, is where the belfry is.

That is where Bluetooth spied initially. And hanging above this pool is the golden disc engraved with the symbol of the sun. And standing in front of that disc, you see three now familiar figures. The holy man in the brown robe. The abbot? Is that who? The abbot. The lobster bard, Gorec.

The luteant. And the pale corpsework woman in the tattered. Red Dress, Vasilca. Okay, I am going to actually, I'm going to XZ Abbott, because at a second level, it lasts for four hours. Does he feel this happening? It says you place a curse on a creature that you can see within range. It just needs to be within 90 feet.

Until the spell ends, you deal an extra 1D6 necrotic damage to the target. Whenever you hit it with an attack roll, also choose one ability. When you cast the spell, the target has disadvantage on ability. checks made with the chosen ability. I think I'm going to choose charisma. Okay. So that he can be maybe less manipulative to his people. Okay.

So you do this, you lay this bailful hex upon him. And the habit almost like, as if he's like swatting a fly or something, kind of like reaches for his neck, but then brushes it off. He seems busy tending to Vasilka. And Gorek is playing his loot, keeping her calm. they have not noticed you. You're peering around the door of the sanctuary. How do you want to proceed?

All right. So why don't maybe Marina and Keychain, you stay here because the fight is going to end up being in this room, I'm sure. But first, hopefully we can get Esmeralda. So, Nyack, why don't you sneak ahead with your invisibility? And when the coast is clear, Onyx and I will follow. Nyak gives a thumbs up, but I'm invisible, so you have no idea. Nyak, did you hear? You have to shake something.

Nyack. Nyack salutes. Oh, oh, yes. Yes. And Nyak knocks on the wall. Sounds good. Tread so carefully with that. I think we should attach a bell to him or something.

Okay. So I'm walking east. Awesome. Actually, I'm army crawling east. Okay, your army crawling east. Go ahead and give me a stealth check. I think I might use my bardic. Okay.

Dirty 20. Nice. Nyak, yeah, you managed to slither, inspired by Bluetooth, towards this east wing door. And once you do, you manage to just creak it open ever so slowly and go through without alerting the abbot and everyone in the center of this room.

So in the east wing, you see a sterile white-tiled room lined with rusting iron bed frames. On each wall, you see a door bearing a small bronze plaque. The room on the left is labeled operating room. The room on the right is labeled morgue And the room at the back is labeled nursery Okay

Well first I'll call onyx and Jens Into this room with me Okay Okay Can I try to help us by doing Silent Image of the walls That we are running past And then we run past the silent image

What's the range Or like how big of an illusion can you make? No larger than a 15 foot cube 15 foot, okay So basically it can It can shield like half of our movement. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But also as a magic action, you can cause the image to move to any spot in range.

Oh, all right. That's handy. Um, yeah, I'll give you advantage on your stealth roll for that. Okay. Oh, Nat 20. Hell of yeah. 19 on the die becomes a 23. God damn it, y'all.

I rolled a net one and a Nat 20. Really? Yeah, could have been so bad. God. This is insane. Um, yeah, you see the Abbott is just kind of still fussing. over this corpse bride. He's obsessed with this finger.

He's like he's like now just like applying more powder to all of like the stitches, like tightening the wimple, making sure that like she looks perfect up there. It is the perfect corpse bride cosplay. Do you think that this is supposed to be his bride? I think he is. You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. This is bad luck.

This is such bad luck. It's an ill omen. Yeah, we have to stop the wedding just for that reason alone. Jeez. Okay, so you discuss this as you make your way into the East Wing. And again, there are three rooms here. There's operating room, morgue, and nursery. Oh, boy.

Okay, well, let's go into the nursery, right? Because we've got to free whoever's in there. That seems bad. Great. Could be the puppies. The puppies could be in there. Oh, Onyx, by the way, I got you a wedding gift. It isn't much, but I hand her the net.

Alex weeps. How did you know I love nets? Yeah, I just heard your voice in my head, and they say you're supposed to have something, something stolen, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Thank you so much. This means so much to me. Yeah. I look at Jen's waiting for his gift. I walk to the nursery. Outside the sanctuary, Marina turns to keychain and says, do you think they're dead?

No, but soon. So inside the nursery You see the wreckage of old wooden cribs As you search the room You don't see any cages here You recall seeing the cage with the werewolf pup Upstairs in the belfry Okay

There are no other cages here But what you do see Is a figure Reflected in the window glass Maybe they have a job for us It's a young woman Clad in all white With flowing Auburn hair

identical to Marinas. To Marinas. This could be Tatiana? Is Tatiana the name of Strad's beloved? Yes. But Tatiana's dead, I thought. I thought it was just in a reflection. It's just a reflection.

Oh. Her sad eyes scan the party searching for someone. She looks at you, looks shocked, but then looks away, as if to say, say, oh, you're not who I was expecting. Hello, who are you looking for?

Oh, hello, yes, I'm so sorry. I thought I sensed someone, someone precious to me from a long time ago. Ooh. It is hard to speak of, but I once had a baby girl here. It is my last memory, giving her life. What did you, what did you call her? Marina, my last act was to give her that name. Oh, she doesn't have great stealth, but she would love to be here.

Are you in like a mirror? Can we take you with us? I mean, should I just... I feel off. Should I just disguise myself as Marina and she can just have set sort of... I'm joking. I don't know. Wait, you know Marina? Yeah, we do. Yeah. Actually, okay, I'm going to figure out a way to get her to you.

because this is so important for you, I can tell. This is so important. You are trapped in this mirror? I am trapped in this place. It is where my life ended, and now I've stayed here because Markovia has charged me with protecting a great treasure. What's the treasure? Not that I care. It is something that was hidden here, a blade.

Our ancestor, Markovia, once used it in her fight against some. rod. It is said to be forged from the tears the morning lord shed when he sealed this land away. If we bring Marina to you, will you tell us where the blade is? I'm guessing it's underneath the golden sun, right? Is it underneath the golden sun? Is it underneath the golden sun? You can tell us if it's a golden sun, yeah. No, it is here. In this room? Yes. I will give it to you if you bring Marina to me. That is all I ask. Okay, BRB. BRB. Okay. How do we BRB?

Okay. Okay. Now that we know where this room is, could I climb out a window and lead her here? Yes. That's fun. Okay. Give me a sleight of hand. I'm going to set the DC at 12 slight of hand to do this without making noise. Can I use Maychan to give help action? I'm trying to think how that would function. I feel like, yeah, okay. Maybe if you're like helping to, like, ease it open. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'll allow that.

Okay. All right, great. Dirty 20. Nice. Okay. Yeah, you managed to, like, pry this window open. You see that it can, like, open outward to, like, let a little air in because obviously these rooms probably got very stinky from all of the excrement and corpses in them.

Sure. Yeah. So you crick it open a little bit, just enough for Jens to uncomfortably slide through. Great. Oh, fuck. Me and Onyx will make uncomfortable small talk. with this woman. So who killed you?

Does that count a small talk? Were you married to the Abbott? This is such, onyx, this is a huge talk. This is really big talk. I was like, how's your week? I was so wezer been this season, lots of rain. I was brought here because I was with child. I have a theory about who the father is, but I do not know for certain.

Ooh. It was a sweet boy in the village. is a farmer named Imrich Immerich. He sounds so hot. Really hot. He was, you know, he stumbled over his words often, but he was a sweet man. Okay, have we met in Imurik?

I think that was the guy that you flirted with when you chugged wine against him. Wait a second. Actually, I already was dating someone new. Oh, that is good. I would not want him to dwell on me. Yeah, he's moved on and he's killing it. Okay, well, I don't need to know all of that.

I'm sure he wants the best for you, too. I think he's, like, killing it, like, as his pick of the litter, as it were. Wow. I mean, that is, I'm glad that both his crops and his love life have flourished. They call him Emmer Slick, because he's so slick. Emmer Slick, you say. Yeah, Emmer Slick. I'm furiously waving Marina over.

Hanging out the window, my butt is just caught in the window. Who killed you, by the way? And I'm just kicking my feet to be safe. To be pulled back in. Yeah, who killed you? I do. I think that perhaps it was just, you know, the act of bringing life to Marina that killed me. It was not an easy birth.

Yeah. My last vision, I recall, is the abbot standing over me. But he was smiling as he delivered the baby. Yeah, I wonder if it was the abbot, because it could have been the birth, but if the abbot was smiling when you died, it might have been him. It might have been him. It might have killed you. What? Yeah, but I actually...

Or just let you die, yeah. To give you a bit of hope, I actually think that Imrich will join you soon because he's drowning. He's drowning? In pussy. So, you might be... That's so tight for him. Yeah. That's absolutely boller.

That's a true statement from my sister. She weeps, tears of joy. I started to weep. too, believing my own lives. I'm so happy for him. I would not want him to be lonely and cold in the night. Okay, that is all I know, but my marina, can you bring her to me? Yeah.

I'm fierce waving her over. Jen, what is so all that? I'm fucking trying. What? Is that fucking Jinns over there? Yes. Get in this window. Dude, just ignore him.

No. Come on. We're playing Uno. No, don't play Uno. Get over here. Get over the window. Ah, fine. You go. I'll stay here. Should I come, too?

Yes, you come do. Okay, they both clamber over, sneaking to avoid the guards out front, but they're far enough away that they can't really detect you. You both squeeze through this window, keychain a little less gracefully. And as soon as Marina lays eyes on this woman, she just instinctively knows. She sees the same Auburn hair, the same features on the face. And she says, are you Timira? Marina, my darling girl, I am so happy to see you grown.

Seeing you live, it fills me with a warmth. I have not known for so very long. I wish I could be by your side and I am sorry for whatever role you must play, whatever role is brought you back here, but I will do all I can to help. Marcovia has entrusted me with a great secret. She points a finger down to the stone wall below the window. You see the faintest remains of a colorful mural depicting flowers and happy animals. One section of the stone depicts a smiling sun with a single teardrop on its face.

It's hidden there. Please, it is the sword of the sun that Markovia once wielded. Okay. Dibs, dips for Jens. Jens gets it. I shotguned it. It's kind of awkward now. Okay.

Maybe Marina, why don't you open it so that Zan Jens can... And it's just a... I'll just borrow it. Yeah. Something borrowed. So you open it because it's yours, obviously. Does seem like this section of the stone is loose. Hold on.

I can jiggle it. You are the jiggle master. The jam man. Something haunts me. Okay, Nyak, you want to give this thing a jiggle? Yeah, I'm going to jiggle it. Great. Slight of hand?

Yeah. 25. 25. Yeah, you pry this free with jiggling precision. Honestly, take expertise in jiggling, my friend. You've earned it. Emmer slick style. You jiggle it out and you see that this stone,

this like stone brick is hollow inside. And inside it is this beautiful golden hilt. I hold up the rock. I have the weapon. It's this hard stone that's hollow. Yeah. Okay, Marina, your friends are interesting. Marina, why don't you pull it from the stone?

And then you can hand it to me. Jens is licking his chops. So you see, it's not buried in the stone, like a sword in the stone. It's actually like laid in there almost as if this brick was like a compartment for it. Oh, great. So you can easily be pulled out. Cool. I'm still going to let Marina do it because I feel like it's going to want to know if I'm true of heart or something.

And we all know I'm not that. Yeah, Marina, why don't you draw it just to see if you melt when you hold it? Yeah, we should know if it's cursed. Well, I will pass it along to my swords, master. That is the job of a page, is it not? It is, yeah. She picks this golden hilt out of the brick, gets down on one knee, and hands it up to you. And as she does, Jens, you see the faint glimmer of a ghostly form lay another hand on it.

And for a moment, the form takes shape into this woman with sharp features, white armor, and a blue-trimmed cloak. And she looks to you and says, Would you use this weapon to defeat Straud? Yes, definitely. I hate Strage. Very well. Fuck that guy. I have deemed your heart not true, but full of purpose.

We hate the same guy, right? Yeah. Yes. in these dire times it shall be enough Wow is that so pragmatic we could all learn something from Zah but you have to give

Marina the Blade of Truth back Oh Come on It's not I come on Alright you're right You're right Ginz Lindell I charge you with the mission

Of defeating Strad Do what I could not wield the holy blade The Sunsword And end the curse of Strad once and for all. I take the sword in my hand and I say

Spudfuckers shall open again on a new dawn. What is... We're going to do what you want, but not why you want. Okay. What is that? What is Spudfuckers? Is a vegan potato restaurant. I'm fading away. Before you leave, let me give you a punch card. Strad destroyed our soft opening. I can't...

I feel. I'm destroyed our soft opening. Okay, sounds so petty. You're going to get, let's say, 10% off. What are you doing? Sorry, it's vegan. It's vegan. It's vegan. It's vegan.

It's vegan. It's vegan. The fixings cost money. Yeah. Yeah. The potatoes are free. And we have chorizo. Yeah.

We do have chorizo. We will talk more under the sun after you defeat the abbot. He is putting a blockage on my power. He is somehow preventing me from appearing. Oh, yeah. Don't worry. We've got this. Yeah.

He's so fast. We're going to blow his ass up. Okay. Yes. Please reconsider everything you've thought about. Goodbye. Sure. Wow.

Maybe it, is she right? Should it not be vegan? Or should the potatoes not be free? Are we eating it to our own profits? Oh, my God, that's what she's, yeah. I am not a phone anymore, and so I am less concerned with falling into SEO terms. Yeah. Like I was before being a vegan boy mom.

Yeah. So. Did you see the way she looked at us when we said the potatoes were free? Like we were idiots. Like we were idiots. It's like we were leaving money on the table. She was laughing at us. Why would the potatoes be free?

Another thing I've learned from Ariana is a she-e-o says no. Yeah. So I'm going to say no. Okay. Okay. So the potatoes are still free? No. They're not free.

No, they're not free. Who are you saying no to? Potate no. No. Okay? I think she might only be saying no. No to what? No, it's like when you go to those restaurants and they're rude to you.

It's like that, they just only say no. Oh, my God. That's great. Is that what you meant, Onyx? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.

It's working. I need her approval. I need it. Just imagine how popular a dick's last resort meets a vegan restaurant meets fun ruckers would be. Where the potatoes are extra. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

They would be such easy targets, too. Vegans are such nice people. There's no limit to the fun. Yeah. So truly so nice. Truly bless, say, Morovia. I look at the story. What does the sword do?

The sword kicks ass. You gain a plus two bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this weapon. It deals radiant damage instead of slashing damage. When you hit an undead with it, the target takes an extra 1D8 radiant damage. The sword's luminous blade emits bright light in a 15 foot radius and dim light for an additional 15 feet. The light is sunlight. Oh shit. I'm going to fucking murder, Strudge, with this.

Oh, wow. This is great. We just keep meeting CEOs We really do I was on a sheeo I was a warrior And a priest

And I gave my life To defeat Strad And in his tyranny on this land So today we actually Goz that the Sheeo That's a sheeo I see Things have changed

For some reason we call Like business people And podcast warriors And stuff Now so like It's because they all read Art of War Yeah

So yeah You're a warrior And thus You're like a podcaster You're also Like a comedian, I don't know. I shrug. Very well, I shall slay and do crowd work.

There we go. Crowdwork's the best. Jen just thinks about crowdwork. There is not much to do in the afterlife. Perhaps this should be my new calling. Yes. So, Jens, you hold the sword as you inspect it, as you feel your divine purpose

or, you know, your purpose, taking root, a beam of sunlight erupts from the sword, lightsaber style. Whoa. Ah! Once way you're aiming down. Careful with that. You cut my ear.

Sorry. Okay, great. All right, good. I think we all agree we got cool new swords. I look at Marina with the Blade of Truth. Wow, the Blade of Truth is so cool. Wow, Marina. All right.

Well, Marina, do you want to spend some time with your mother here while we check out these other horrific rooms? She's been doing that the whole time while you talked about sputfuckers. Oh, great. That makes sense. She's having a heartfelt reunion with her mother. telling her all about her life and Ismark and Alana

and the village of Arabia. I just realized we have to introduce Marina to her father. Yeah. Again, add it to the list. It's a later thing, right? Onyx's boyfriend. She turns to us,

did you know Emric was my dad? You flirted with him. Yeah? Do you not want me to be her stepmother? Do you have a problem with me? I'm a stepmother is always so evil. She's already a boy mom, She could be a girl mom too. Wow.

She could be a woman mom. You could be the mom who stepped up. Would you be the mom who stepped up for me? I would. Marina, I would. Have you not seen the work I've done on Bluetooth? Okay. The man is become.

He truly, you know, he's less awful than he was. And I can do the same for you. From a boy mom to a girl's grill to a girl mom. Full circle. Maybe after we stop this wedding, you can make an honest man out of him, Merrick. Someone has to tie that man down. Huh. interesting I will consider

great if you like a lot of times you make a proclamation then you think it through and then you're less certain well I just I feel like I lied so much about how much pussy imrek was getting and now I'm rooting for him to be getting so much pussy and so then I don't want to tie him down

stop saying pussy yeah stop really it's just it's her dad right it's my dad right okay okay just the image of him you were very graphic in describing like swimming Diving, drowning. Well, she was saying that he doesn't get pussy.

So it should be, it should be fine. Should we, like, investigate more rooms? Yes, let's go to the operating room. That one sounds bad, huh? Yeah. I think we'll have the donkey masks on just in case there. And I'm still invisible, right? Okay.

Are you going to put the donkey mask on? Yeah. Great. You go to the operating room wearing the donkey mask. You open the doors and you see strapped to a series of bloodstained tables five donkey-headed villagers from the jamboree Nearby, a fly-headed mutant in a lab coat monitors enormous needles

which are slowly plunging glowing red substances into their bodies. Sorry, wish we had the time. We have other shit to do it. No, Nyakir. Jen said it himself. I'd slap Nyakian. How did you see me? Muffled screams issue forth from their masks as their bodies begin to slowly transform. The fly turns and looks at you and says, Oh, goody, more experiments.

Mm, that was extra helpful this time. Come in, come in. I'll be with you soon enough. He-ha, here to help. Yes. I go up and I just try to stab him in the head. Just to like, I just walk two steps forward and just stab in the head. Yes, take your seat over there.

Awesome. and roll initiative. Great. All right. 18. Freaking 23. Wow. Okay. 14. So you're all in this room now. There's this single fly mutant who's very freaked out.

You see strapped to this table are these five donkey-headed criminals. There's this glowing red substance like oozing into them through these syringes. And the fly just starts freaking out. It sounds like, help, help, help. They're trying to interrupt the process. I'll hold them off. Don't worry. You're in trouble now.

Swat him. And first act is Jins. Great. I will attack twice. One with the Sunsword and one with my offhand. Okay. 16 and 15. Both hit.

Okay, I'll do a flourish with the Sunsword. A defensive flourish. Oh. Okay, with the flourish, 18 damage on the first hit. Nice. Whoa, okay. And then offhand is just going to be a D6, which I roll the one on, which will be seven.

damage total on that one, so 25 damage. 25 damage, wow. You slice into this fly, they say, it's really hard to swat a fly, isn't it? It's not that hard to swat a fly. They are on death's door. Whoa. All right, kill them quick, so you can't get any help.

Yeah. And that's going to bring us to Onyx. Okay, I'm going to take out my new cell phone mall. Nice. Can I also, as this dude's screaming for, help. Can I do some kind of deception check to scream as if I'm one of the people that is being injected to cover it? Oh, so smart. That's really good. Yes. He-haw! Be coming to me with! Okay. That's going to miss. That's a 10 to hit.

Okay, that misses, yeah. Sorry. Okay. I got a dirty 20 on a deception. Okay. You miss. Jens, you scream loudly to cover. You don't hear anyone coming to investigate. So they have one HP left. This fly, his name is Drozafina. And that is going to bring us to Nyack. If they have one HP left, I think I might just roll up a newspaper and try to swat Josephine on the head.

No, not the newspaper. I'll Zephyr strike to give myself advantage on this attack. That is 826. Nyack, finish this fly. I invisibly take out my bow and I spin the tiny little propeller on top of my hat.

since I'm still an eight-year-old and shoot the fly through one of its many eyes. I did not see that coming. Oh, wow, this fly's hilarious. Pretty good ones. You get to know me. Really funny, really funny last words. Let's run around and smash these vials

as fast as possible to try to stop them from getting injected. Okay. So you run around, you smash these vials. You see this glowing red substance, lands on the floor and kind of sizzles a little bit. You undo the manacles on these donkey head criminals, and do you want to take their masks off? Yeah. Udo, you in there?

I start popping masks off. Yeah, it's me. Hey. Are you guys about to turn into mutants? How much of that red gunk got in your veins? Yeah, how much gunk got you, Udo? How much gunk did you have for a little bit? But the transformation is incomplete.

I think... He pulls off his masks, and you see that his head now perfectly resembles the donkey underneath? Oh, we have... You look great. Thanks. dude. I feel like I have more power, but my mind is intact. Oh, you know what? That's a glow-up. This could be good. Yeah. Okay. Do you have any donkey abilities? Here, kick me as hard as you can. Yeah, kick Nyak. Yeah, kick Nyak. Yeah. Okay, let me give it a go.

Oh! Yeah, he bucks back and kicks you. It hits you square in the chest. You fly against the wall. Yeah, you fly against the wall and, like, land in a bunch of other barrels full of body parts. He's strong. Oh, he's strong. Oh, he's strong. Do you feel like the abbot as a sort of desert on you? Like a desert on you, like a control of you? No, I feel like if the process had gone all the way through, I could feel the serum controlling my mind. But since it was stopped, it seems like the transformation only partially took effect.

All right. We can fight. I think maybe if we stop the abbe, we can find a way to undo this transformation. But for now, for now, Udo poses I shall become the donk knight Any gestures to the others

And they shall be my managerie We shall fight alongside you Udo I knew you are cool Since you said all will not be well He-ha Let's punch his jaw Yeah Maybe you guys are the don quays to victory

That's good That's good, high-five He high-fives you with his hoof Careful with that thing You, again, you look great. Jen's gives a wincing. All right, all right. We've got a little team here.

Yeah, let's unstrap everybody. Okay, okay. Everybody together here. And then we have to go into, we've got to look in the morgue. Oh, yeah. Jesus. Oh, yeah, we still have to find Esmeralda. Oh.

Have you seen, did you see anyone else when you came in here? Yeah, we are looking for a wizard's apprentice. No, I, we were brought in, we were wearing our mask, so my vision was a little restricted, but I did see the abbot came from downstairs, and then he came up. Okay. So I saw that the lobster guy bringing that weird pale lady from upstairs, and the abbot met here coming from downstairs. Does the lady that is sort of the Franken lady, does she look like the woman that we just met in the mirror? Parts of her do, but parts of her look different.

Okay, okay. Got you. Let's just pop in the morgue real quick, because we're all curious, right? We're going to do a breezeby of the morgue. Everyone donkey masks back on. Okay. All right. And let's walk down the hall.

Pluto, you might be good. Do you want us to chill here? Yeah, you guys can chill here. We're going to have a code word for you guys to come out. Yeah. It's going to be somewhat sexy. Somewhat sexy. Somewhat sexy.

I'm going to write that down. What was Kind of Sexy for? Kind of Sexy is for Nyack to pop out. So we don't need that anymore. Erasing Kind of Sexy. Yeah. Kind of sexy is retired. Nyack is out of invisibility.

because he attacked. That's right. So, yeah, you see the other members of the menagerie all pull off their masks, and they all also look like buffed donkeys. Okay, great. They look like a buffed donkey squad. Wow. Buff donkey squad.

Donkey goals. Teenage mutant ninja who? Teenage mutant ninja mules. There you go. Teenage moultens. There we go. Miltens. We got there.

All right. So you're going to investigate the morgue real quick. Yeah. Great. So you go into the morgue, and the first thing you notice is the stint. Really? Wow. All these rooms smelled, but this one's really bad.

It's so bad. This room is littered with leftover body parts, barrels and barrels and trays of body parts. It seems like everything left over from creating the corpse bride has been placed here. There's a window open to lessen the stench, and outside you hear the cawing of ravens once more. Mm.

All right, well, let's... This is just the body parts room. Yeah. Let's collect some body parts. It's Nyack, collect some body parts into a barrel. We'll put the donkey masks on and we'll make our way downstairs. Yeah. Does everyone want to help me collect some feet?

I'll help. I have some majend to pick up the body parts. Nyack holds the barrel so far from his face. I will supervise. Oh, my majean is so inaccurate. I keep accidentally drunk. Oh, right off the backboard. Why?

It just lets ploffs as you try to put. Put them in the barrel. Yeah, my majoran is practicing. It's three-pointers with body parts. Not from beyond the ark. Is there a path to the downstairs from this east corridor, or do we have to go back in the main room? You'll have to go in the main room,

and you'll have to walk past the abbot. All right. Well, let's do that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to put some body parts on top, but in the barrel, I'm going to put the Alchemist fire.

Oh. Oh. And then we'll just throw that shit and just throw a fireball at it. All right. Okay. You're going to put all three in one barrel? You're going to have three barrels. Oh, let's have three barrels.

Great. So each of us is going to carry a barrel. All right. Each barrel has alchemist fire in it. Jesus Christ. I will give Marina the fireball spell scroll. When we walk past the abbot, if the abbot lets us with a deception check go down, we'll get Esmeralda. We're all good.

If tries to start a fight or calls us out, I'll throw it down the middle aisle. Onyx will throw it down the left. and Nyak will throw it down the right, and then Marina will shoot a fireball at the one in the middle, and hopefully we'll just start burning this place down. Okay, perfect. Wedding Crashers.

Okay, so you walk out. What are you saying as you walk out? Did you seize if they were talking when you saw some walking? Oh, no, they were, I think heads hung. They looked dejected. Okay, we're going to be heads hung, Look dejected.

Okay. So you walk out carrying these barrels and you see the abbot looks up and says, I'm terribly sorry, friends, but I have more than enough material here. Also, have you finished changing for the party? Usually the process takes a bit longer. He-ha. The bug said that there was only room for however, and I say the number of however many boards there were of however many people. And to try to help out, he-ha, I broke the law.

I see. There's a bug doctor said, go, bring these extra parts downstairs, and I will get to you when one of the boards freeze up. Downstairs? No, no, no. They cannot go downstairs. The bug was insistent. He was riding my ass.

And I point to the donkey head. It's a pun. Yeah. He-ha, we're all village drunk, so we don't know exactly what they said, he-ha. Yeah, we were still drunk. We got in trouble for being drunk. Yeah. Yeah.

That was the. Public drunkenness was our crime, y'all. I also did crookane. This seems like a lot of excess information for someone who has been renewed and reborn via the Zumanoid process. Forgive my suspicion, but please remove your masks. Okay, I take off my head and I am the Morning Lord. That's right. You're about to meet God, bitch. I wrote the one barrel down the middle of the aisle, and I signal for you guys to do the same.

Mine to the left. I chucked mine to the right. Holy shit. Marina Fireball! It's running this fucking down. Pretty sexy. Somewhat sexy. Santa sexy.

A sechall. So sexy. We yell every iteration of sexy. You throw these barrels in each direction. Marina blast the fireball scroll. Crows crash through the windows. Udo and the donk squad burst through the door

the abbot looks so confused I am the morning Lord the sunlight listens to me and that is where we'll end our session yes dude it had to happen like that

oh my fucking it happened like that yes dude it's I you know you plan you plan for weeks and weeks and they literally blow it up This is amazing.

I cannot wait to talk about this and theorize more. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to see what happened. Yeah, this will be really, really, we blew it up. First of all, thank you so much for bearing with my voice today. I hope it's been not too bad. It's been a pleasure of playing with you. We're going to be talking about this on the short rest,

about the fallout for this episode on the short rest, which is at patreon.com slash Nadpod, N-A-D-P-O-D. We don't sing yet. You maniacs. Finally, I get to say it. Yeah. And we got some stuff to plug. We've got a Dimension 20 live show coming up November 1st in Las Vegas.

We're doing Starstruck. Check out Dimension 20 live to get tickets. Come see us. Murph might wear Jankos. I might wear Jankos. Whoa. Yeah. I've got a couple of options.

What shirt with the Jinkos? I have a weird shirt that kind of looks like a figure skater shirt. And I needed to buy a compression. shirt for underneath it because my nipples were showing and I was like this is too much dude you got to show the nipple bulge it's Vegas come on it um I'll plug you know there's a little web series that I've been enjoying recently called day job it's an Australian animated show about people working at a bowling alley and it's really cute and I like it a lot so uh go give that a watch please do and check out my substack substack.com slash at jake hurwitz woo and you can follow us on social media there may or may not use

at CH First Me, at Caldice Caldwell, at a expert's Emily, and at Jake Hurts is Jake, and you can talk about the show online using hashtag Nadpod, that's NADD-D-P-O-D. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. We are, we are, the youth of the nation. You know, I'm going to be able to be. And so,

you know, I'm going to You know, I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to Thank you. Well, hello, folks. It's the end of our show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. And here they come now.

Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later McS. Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Daniel, the dastardly dame. Carpe Liam. Victor T. A.k.a. Bownor's boy. Hoyd's friend. Justin I. Danny Danster. J.M. Traylay the Cray. Christopher B. Damiel, why is it so hard to say my last name, Rohe? Did I do it right? I don't know. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Targot. Stevie Wags. Hellish Ruker, the NBD, M-P-H. Princess Yarr. Jory S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of Every Film Ever Made in Bohumia. Mike H. Alka Smelzer Plus. Great Value Jimma, get yours now. Tyler F. Carborough Chapel Hill, FPV, C, C-Colulu, Baldburn. Hercule Paul Zillabath, Falk Detective, Timmy R, Jake's Jerk Jelly, hashtag CCCC, CASE, Skateboard Cass. Stephen sends scintillating songs, C. Nick W, Nico the underpaid English teacher, William W, Big Bad Beard O the Mad,

Ananarama Percival Frederickson von Musil Klosowski Deerolo the 3rd J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the vibe, honoring the cock. Impressive dongle. Bin A. Dave H. Not that, Nick.

Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Big Bad John. D.P.C. is awesome. Yes. Chon, the shade tree mechanic of Zelbal Dar. Summer Rose, aka. Grand Terre. Mark the Dark Lord's Tate

Cat C. Misa of House Inzunza. Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Selina N. AKA Valaci Raptor. B. Perky, always. Pat L. Lauren H. Serve 16. Annie, the Fay Wild Therapist. Parogi Frenzy. Salil. Bioquert 7.

Bean rat was innocent. Trub. Hob dropper. Jack Hubert, King of the Mole People Under Ireland. deep, dressed in blue, and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valen, Paj, the bitch and bunny, bard, druidic Peyton, Carl and C. Omri, M. Noa, the Gentleman Fister, hashtag honor the cock. James G. Everything Bego, the Eladron, who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy. Reverend Shatterbones.

Han, Eric B., Marcos, Ph.D. Eventually. Learns the balanced druid. Frida M. Maggie. Holly the Green. Ha-ha. Laughing hyena. Grimwaller.

Executive chef of Bohemia. Aaron B. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Ha-ha. Yes. Every time. Cody C.

Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack. Cal go truckin. Your friendly neighborhood, Yon and uncle, Andrew and Sid. Soon to be educational. Specialist John Adams. James F. Wayfarer now has to do something with those trolls. To get rid of them, turn to page 42. To keep them? Ha ha. Turn to page 69. Oriel. Barpo Good Barbarian. Charlie Brown's best friend. Renee, the monster captain. Olivia, the enchanting bard and Jared the

soap opera cleric, who recently found out that like moonshine, they're dangerously fertile, whoa. Blue Ash, Fico, Garrett, the artificer. Anthony, the raddest of dudes. J. K-Guard. Fancy Matt. The fairies have returned to debauchery, and must now go to the Connell Corner.

Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie-wearing Barbarian. Lexi H. M.J. the BF.G. Roger L. Nodrog, the pacifist barbarian. John Luca. Leon Komori, legendary hero. Bohumia from a future campaign.

Shananagan's O'Connor. Joshua S. Alexander. Linz W. Sky the Wise, a.k.a. the lone dungeon master. The spudfucker himself, Johnny Dutke.

The mischief of Nadpods familiar's. Pavu Escanor, the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile. Kit? Him their cat. Jake Well, Murphily. Tim M. Dragon Night 86

Strangle The main event TR MLG Cheeto shall be Kinnah's first favorite Sprite girl

going into the zone as Barry 6 for Riva Mos Vegas Let's do some Kubla cane and get nasty All right

Jet S Snailus Who's infecting Worcester For Wibin Death to Tyrants Yeah agree Pa Poscades

Mim Oscadays Megan N Genev of the sea Anthony B Belnor's best friend Steve Stephanie of House

In Zunza Benjamin A Gimley the Corgi Pop-on Foster's K-9 friend McKell A Triple S-tier Crickwater

and Joyer The two clue blew through Kelsey A Ethan the mailman Maple The shy bookworm Nick A.J.

Ashesaurus Seth the Stroker Bearer of all hog related burdens. Billy Batson. Tori the tungsten Dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes. Michael L.S. the second. Carl B. Plummer of the Realm. Ace Dregs. Hi, Lord of Critsburg. Venn diagram. Cadmilius, the consumed. Cam, the vampire frogman. R. I want to suck your flies blob. Dean, Jake W. Hi, Mom. Tuesday Cross.

only here for the Surf and Murph. Nadpot fan and Bar Mitzvod Man. Whoa, it's Dave O. Steve L. Tyler M. Alex G. Zibitabakery. Kaylee. Katarina C. Misty, the Krispy Kitty really hates flame skulls.

Greg W. Wow, there's so many of us now. But hey, you're doing great and we love you. Baruch Thunderhelm, Fifth Generation Minotar, working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide. Chupagabri, Boney is dead. The Waterworth, your four-legged Greg companion. Nick, Amy, Aegis Kunari, Ignition Class Petal Store.

My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show. Yeah. Chef Julie B., Mama Mayhem, bride of Frankenstein's monster. Gin's rules kinder. Caitlin H. Buttwax. Thomas C Dark Lotus

Creations Joshua H Jacob M Louis H and A.J. Dinko. Woo-hoo! That is all of our elders.

Thank you so much for your support. If you would like to join this illustrious council you can do so by going to Patreon.com slash Nadpod.

That is going to do it for us today but we will catch you here again next week. Thank you so much. I hope that you get a great night's sleep. I mean it,

eight hours or more. You deserve it. See you later. Bye-bye. That was a headgum podcast.