Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep. 15: Hallowed Ground

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

On their way to the winery, the Triplets take a detour to build a new base for their allies! Jens carries on about cars, Nyack signs up for signs and Onyx gets inspired by spires as the Trinyvale X Strahd crossover continues!Get the NaddPod Fan Calendar here! - https://linktr.ee/naddcalendarCREDITSEditing by Brian MurphyProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMUSIC INCLUDES:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford“The Night Lotus" by Emily Axford“Oh Melora" by Emily Axford“Barovian Tango by Emily Axford“A Memorable Feast" by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford"Strahd" by Emily Axford“The Gate” by Emily Axford"Lights Out" by Emily Axford“A Hunkle’s Plea" by Emily Axford“Selfless” by Emily Axford“The Little Moon” by Emily Axford“Where is the Manager” by Emily Axford"Trinyvale Closing Theme" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Goodbye, sweeties. This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to Trinnevale. Trinneville. And also Barovia. Barovia. Listen to my little birdie's chirp. Thank you.

Thank you. Have some seeds, little birdies. Adventure seeds, that is. I am your Dracula. A.k.a. Druncle, Caldwell Tanner. And I'm joined, as always, by my prodigious players, Brian Murphy. Feeling crappy, so I burnt down the abbey. Jen Flindell.

Emily Axford. I really wanted you feeling crappy now. Keep it crappy. Grandpa face in lingerie. It's omics liumier. Ooh, la, la, grandpa. This is what I look like. I'm picturing hearing a French pop song, and that's the only part in English.

Somehow you made Grandpa face and lingerie rise. She's a professional. And one more professional is joining us. It's Jake Hurwitz. Little brother you lerve with a pinched nerve. My half of the ranifoy. That was worse. For sure.

For sure. That was worse. But also sounded like it was from a French pop song. So on theme at the very least. Folks, you've done it. You've escaped. But before you make your full Velaki extraction, how about we do a quick recap?

Please. Yes. When last we met, you three had just begun your second showdown with Straud von Zarovich. As the abbey fires intensified, the ghost of Markovia appeared before Nyak, informing him that the relic in his hand was known as the dawn flower pendant. It was a gift from Straud's father to his brother Sergei on his wedding day and has since become a powerful vampire warding tool. Meanwhile, in the front of the church, Straud once more attempted to charm Marina. But before he could fix his gaze on her, Jin stuck him to the ground with elf shot,

covered Marina's eyes and dove behind a pew. Frustrated, Strad attempted to control the zuminoid's, but was defeated by Onyx, whose lingerie morning lord disguise convinced the mutants that she was their sexy grandpa. Pretty standard for any Straud run through, I'd say. After promising them a wine tour, she fled out the nursery window along with Marina. While outside, she saw their allies and the captive Esmeralda had been surrounded by a swarm of werewolves. Markovia then appeared and told Onyx that it might be possible for her to cast a hollow spell on the abbey, but only if Strad and his minions were removed. Inside the still burning building, Strad noticed Nyak holding the pendant and decided to test his mastery of the shadows by casting blight.

Nyak failed the test, but was quickly healed by Jins, who fired off another elf shot, then took Markovia's bones from their hiding place in the wall. Markovia mentioned that as long as her bones are safe, she can find a new area to consecrate. And so with bones and bro in tow, Jin skedaddled past Strod. On his way out, he convinced the Zoonoids to attack the werewolf swarm, leaving only Vasilka the corpse bride left inside. After collecting a glove bag from Nyack, she demanded something blue from Strad,

but was blown off instead. Angered the bride struck Strad, shattering his jovial demeanor. He responded by melting her with a fireball, then turned his attention on the fray outside. However, while he was distracted, Onyx and Nyak managed to free both Esmeralda and Chompo the werewolf, who you learned was the son of the Alpha, Kirill Stoyanovich.

To thank you for this gesture, Kiro let his werewolf troops into battle against Strad. The Zuminoids joined the charge and blocked Stroud's pursuit. As rage-filled bolts of lightning filled the sky, you and your companion sped down the hill and into Esmeralda's wagon. Using the carrot, Jens borrowed, Esmeralda activated the wagon's spectral horses, and you all galloped off into the mists

beyond Valaki. And that is where we are now. We turn around. We forgot Fitbit. Oh, Fitbit is way too slow for these spectral horses. He's getting dragged a little bit. I need Vipbit. Fitbit.

The thunder of spectral hooves fills the air as Esmerald's wagon barrels through the western gate of Velaki. Pursued quickly by Fitbit. Yes. Thank God. Here, donkey. O'hee. Oh, I forgot he made sound.

You see Fitbit thundering, moving faster than any mule ever has. He launches into the air, jumping higher than an NBA basketball player, and landing through... Actually, Yokish really doesn't jump. He's very, very firm to the ground. He doesn't have to.

And landing through a small window in the roof firmly in Onyx's lap. Whoa! The wagon peels out of Velaki like a bolt of purple lightning. In the Bergamaster's living room, Vargas Velakovich looks up from a pipe of papers, tilts his head, shrugs, then continues reading.

Outside, the wagon screeches down the trail and is quickly swallowed by the thick tendrils of midday mists. Annoyed, as Morelda flips a switch, and you watch as the fog is cut asunder by bright beams of enchanted lantern light. She turns back to you and says, pretty sick, right? Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah, okay, you like that?

Yeah, watch this, though. Watch this. You're going to love this. She waves her hand over the wagon's dashboard, and you see a sigil begin to glow. Is that a radio? What the fuck is radio? Can you play Oasis? Can you play Oasis?

It's usually just like I sing, you know? Could somebody sing? Sure. Yeah. No, I'm just fucking with you. I got radio. Come on. Yeah, she throws on Wonderwall, I guess.

What is the other Oasis song? You know, that whole Al. Don't look back in anger. I mean, they have a lot. Don't look back in anger. I actually prefer those two to Wonderwall. Yeah. Champagne Supernova.

blares over the speakers, honestly a little too loud. She nods approvingly, and then puts her hand over another sigil. And as this one alights, you see the wagon creak loudly. Then, like cells multiplying, you watch as its beds, floor, and desks all divide and grow, transforming the cramped interior into a spacious dormitory. Yeah, call this one, Esmerald's Traveling Tavern. It's a modified version of one of my master's most famous spells. maybe you've heard of it

Liamon's tiny hut That's cool My brother also has a cool car Yeah It's in the shop Oh yeah Tell me about it It's super fast

It's red It's got four wheels Sometimes there's an extra one In the trunk Yeah That I would take theoretically if I were To pop a tire

Which is actually what happened I popped two tires So I didn't have an extra one You can't drive with three tires How did I pop them? Yeah how did I pop them? Yeah well how did you pop the tires I smile

but my eyes are dead as I look at onyx the way I popped them I was driving them really fast and it popped because I had won a race and it was on gravel that's so jans yeah it was like that scene in

in Greece where I was in like a dam and damn there were people you know throwing around bottles and whatnot so there was a bottle I guess on the ground and I swerved not to hit a teen in a leather jacket and I ended up hitting a bottle instead

It's so supreme, it'll make you cream, Onyx. It felt like at first you didn't have an answer, but then you had a really complicated one. I smile again at Onyx, and my eyes look furious. Yeah, Onyx. Thanks. Dang, that's pretty cool. Can you sleep in that car? Well, why would I when I have a cool apartment slash condo?

It's a condo. It's a one-floor condo. Well, you guys really got it all. But, you know, sometimes I'm on the move, so I don't really get the luxury of having an apartment. as well. So that's why I built in this sleeper car as well. You're doing the hashtag camper van lifestyle. We've been thinking about that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have followers? I almost blew this up. I'll be honest. Keychain was like running around grabbing knobs and whatnot. I almost blew this whole thing up. We forgot keychain. All right. We had to turn around and get keychain pull over. He'll find us. I'm right

here. I was just looking at this lands in catalog. Yeah, they got solid sweaters. I was looking at the doggy sweaters. That's cute. That's really cute. Yes, so anyway, I put this in. It's kind of like hashtag Van Life. But anyway, now you can get a long rest while we travel. We're headed to the winery, right?

Where is that? Oh, good question. Let me pull up a map here. Marina pulls out her map for everybody to look at. And she kind of points and says, well, looking at where we were and where we're going, it should take a, we should be able to arrive at about nightfall. but before we go to the winery, there is something else I think we must do.

You want to see Zarevich like me too. That is closer to Velaki, so I think it would be unwise to return, but... Okay. Well, just like, why did you ask us then? It's like you don't want to go to the freaking lake, huh? Yeah. Well, it is funny...

I brought my fishing ride for nothing. I wanted to do jet ski. I thought for the first time ever I was going to do something outside, like near a lake. I just thought maybe we were going to do the camper life. It's just, it's funny you mentioned a lake, because I do think it would be good to go to a lake, just not Zoravich Lake.

There is a smaller lake outside of the winery that I think would be good as a place for Markovia to consecrate. Why would we go smaller when we can go bigger? Yeah, why don't we consecrate the big lake? Yeah, will they allow a motor in that lake? Because Onyx wants to go water skiing. Let me just look at this map. Luna Lake, okay.

Wow, it's a freaking dud, more like a pond, really. Are you sure it's not a pond? Yeah. Jen smiles but looks so disappointed in his eyes. I guess we could go to Luna Lake I feel like that lake is just like really close to the abbey we just blew up and I feel like we want to put some distance between

ourselves in there. Okay. Okay, but smaller lake, can we compromise here? All right, so we go to the smaller lake, which doesn't have jet skis. Okay. Onyx starts weeping. Can we have a motor in that lake? You have to be honest.

It has no jet skis, but it has a lovely row boat. Okay. You see Markovia materializes. She actually materializes, like, right in the middle of a table. She's, like, not used to appearing in this place yet. Yeah. She's back to being somewhat wispy and translucent, but she doesn't seem to be in danger of fading away.

She kind of paces back and forth and addresses the party. And as she does, you see her Auburn hair is kind of floating freely as if submerged in water. Yes, Luna Lake, it is smaller, but I think it would be a perfect place for the hallow spell. Hmm, it could be a perfect stronghold against Strade and his wicked foes. If I can cast this spell there, none of his undead minions will be able to penetrate it. And even his charms will not be able to cross the barrier. But do you see what's happening? Because this lake is perfect for you guys and not perfect for us.

Yeah. Okay. You know what? We can have a discussion here. We've got time. What is it you want? What do you want to do with the lake? Okay.

Jet ski. I was hoping to jet ski. Right. And I wanted to motorboat and I could tow them on the skis. Yeah. I wanted to, yeah, I also wanted to, um, tube. I wanted to do some tubing. And I wanted to motorboat and I wanted to pull them on the tube.

Yeah. Yeah, Nyack is not allowed on the tube. He has to pull everyone. Lunar Lake might be small, but it is large enough for all manner of water sport. Okay. Indeed, it is stood as a neutral ground since ancient days. All peoples, the Barovians, the were ravens, even the mist elves would gather here day and night to fish and make merry. many a tube has graced this lake.

Oh, okay. All right. There is even legend that once there was a blob. Oh. Oh, one of those things that you jump on and you can make people bounce far? Quite right, quite right. Those are really dangerous. Okay, yeah, those were dangerous.

Let's not do that. I mean, I don't want to go too far. Trying to meet you in the middle here. Yeah. But those days are long since past. Although it is said, before the days of the mist, the lake reflected the moon so brightly one could even read by the one. waters without the aid of a candle or torch.

This lake would be the perfect spot. And with your help, perhaps we can restore it to its former glory via the hallow spell. All right. Yeah, I mean, we don't have big readers and our kindles have lights on them. So it doesn't really super matter. But yeah, I'll go to Luna Lake. I mean, as long as we can jet ski, you know. We could also venture to the abandoned castle known as Argon Vostolt.

There is the final resting place of a silver dragon in his night. They are vengeful revenants, so they would require much convincing, but I believe they could be powerful allies in our cars. Oh, oh, my God, a dragon could pull the hell out of some water skis. Oh, that's how we jet ski. But the dragon's not there, right? It's just the powerful revenant. Yes, he is long since dead, and the revenant's minds are corrupted.

You would need to parlay with him, day and night, I imagine. Oh, my God. No thanks. Yeah, let's go to Luna Lake. You see Esberalda from the driver's just like, oh so it's boring let's go to the lake let's get on the freaking blog i'm not afraid let's do lake life okay lake life it is hashtag lake life yeah niac start making a sign for our cabin niac is uh bouncing along painting a really bad sign

make sure it's about alcohol i feel like so much of uh lake decor is just like it's time to drink yeah like lake time more like lake wine yeah talk about the big drink and it's like a little sailboat in a glass of wine yeah okay yeah who cares about fake news i care about lake news thank you that's good yeah that's good add that right that one down okay yeah it's gonna have to squeeze it in that's pretty long yeah who cares about fake news it's worth it start a new sign what are you doing yeah you need to make six to 12 of these signs before we get there we need at least three for the bathroom yeah i can't go to sleep unless i have novelty signs who is inside wait i've got another one each

drink fish how's that that's good that's good this look as there's a picture of wine yeah oh right eat drink fish wine what if it's a clock and every single hour is just a little glass of wine wow wow that's all right my my my would you look at the wine yeah it's wine a clock somewhere that's really good what about parentheses okay what about one that says this lake is full of wine so all the fish are dead yeah that's good that's good do you want to go fish some dead fish because it's full of wine. The fish here make me drunk. I like to get fucked up and swim.

Yeah. I like to get fucked up in tube. All right. We got it. Nothing tastes as good as being drunk feel. I love to. That's awesome. Oh, you guys really know how to cut loose.

This is great. You know what, actually, I'm going to join you. Hey, robot, you drive for a bit. You see, Ezmeral that crawls into the back with you and sprawls out on one of the beds. And keychain says, oh boy, I never get to drive. This is going to be so fun. He scrambles up to the front, and then the wagon veers very suddenly before he manages the course correct. I've got it.

I've got it. Eyes on the road. Yeah, he's not smart or talented, so. It's like a driverless car. Esmeralda, where is Leamond? Leamond? Oh, I'm glad you asked. So, the last I heard was when I was in Velaki, that strange puppet man,

you know, Gandalf, I believe was his name. Yeah, he told me that Leo had gone to the village of Barovia to he was looking to form an army to fight Strad.

Okay, well, we are coming from Barovia. There was no army. There was a guy who gooned in the oats and the coolest guy was a guy who worked at his uncle's store. He was strong. Everyone else, there's no army there.

It was tragic, but their funerals are great. So Leamond is probably dead, right? Yeah, Leamond is likely not doing well. Yeah, were you guys close? Yes, he was kind of like my wizard dad. Oh, okay. Yeah, that sucks, huh?

My family was eaten by vampires when I was very young, and Leomond kind of adopted me. Okay. Kind of trained me as his apprentice. His family also was eaten by vampires, so we had that in common. So he swore whenever he found out About the new vampire plaguing a realm

To essentially hunt them down and destroy them When you say eaten do you mean their flesh was consumed Or just exanguinated The blood was yes exanguinated I was being metaphorical I was exaggerating Yeah no it's fine The rats ate their bodies I watched it happen

Wow that's tough Yeah it was not great But then you know me and Lehmann We became a little family he taught me some magic. We, like, killed a bunch of beasts and werewolves and zombies and stuff, and it was pretty rad. But then one day he said that he was going off to fight this vampire, and he told me to stay and

work on my studies. But after a while, I kind of got antsy, so I decided to follow him. And that's what led me to Velaki. And I was about to make my way to Borovia, but then I saw some creatures lurking around in the graveyard, and I thought, well, I better go check that out. You know, don't watch just creatures around. but then they freaking ambushed me, knocked me out, and next time I knew I'm in the basement of this abbey

about to be infused into a corpse pride. Not great. Yeah. Bad day. Bad stuff. Well, you know, I never liked the Zuminodes, and I think they're probably dead. I hope none of them show up to the winery.

Because we made some huge promises. Oh, could you imagine how bad our Lake weekend will be if they show up? Could you imagine? Yeah. They do not know how she shares a tube. Oh, my God. They definitely don't know how to share the tube. They're going to pop the tube.

They're going to pop the tube. They're going to pop the tube. They're going to rock the boat. They're going to literally rock the boat. Hey, you know what? One more sign. If you pop the tube, you're a boob. Thank you.

Oh, yeah. That's good. That's good. It's not keychain level, you know, but like, it's okay. Yeah, keychain's good at it because he's AI. So he's much more creative than us. Basically, everything he says is hilarious because he's AI. Yeah.

He knows whatever. If it's been, like, mentioned on a podcast or something, he can tell you the fact, I do quote. It's like watching the vapor come out of his head while he thinks so hard to come up with these jokes is really... Yeah, it consumes like the grass and the oxygen around. I was going to say it's going to take all of Luna Lake for...

Oh, my God, we can use the lake to power key chain. Oh, but it's going to be really funny, so it'll be worth it. Yeah, it'll be funny. Oh, my God, I will come up with the silliest sign. Yeah, I just need one-fourth a lake. So, yeah, is there anything else you want to... ask me, uh, you know, we've got like all this time. We've got this sleeper car. We can basically like nod off and basically get like a full eight hours until we get to the lake. Yeah, that's

great. I mean, we love to get a full 12. Full 12. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's like, it's like not even close for me. Ultimately, we want to kill Strad. Yeah. Right. So I assume you're on board with that. We found out basically a fortune teller told us that we were going to find something in the abbey, which we did, which was the pendant. I show everyone the pendant. I found this. No one else found it. Nyak nods. We're in this burning building.

St. Markovia popped out, said, here, take my bones, put the Minutreda Joe's bag. Hang on to this for me. You're the bravest. You're the strongest. You're the best looking. You don't pop the tube. Essentially what happened.

It's not worth arguing, I found. Thank you. I zip up the tote so that her bones can't talk about. A tot was a zipper? Yeah, it's got a zipper. Wow. It's also a freezer bag, so the beers in there are still cold. The margarita.

cans are still cold. Yeah, we're going to need those lake beers, dude. Oh, yeah, we definitely need some lake beers, no fears. How about that? Thank you. Okay, put that on a point. I'm not drinking this weekend, but I think it sounds, it sounds fun anyway. Yeah, I'm actually, wait, wait, wait, on lake time? Yeah, I'm sort of doing a detox. No, you're not. Okay. Yeah, it'll be cool to be at the lake and not, not get drunk, but I'm cool to hang out. Okay. Yeah, I want you to drink. And I want you guys to drink and cut loose. You know what? You can be dry at the lake as long as you get the wet in the water. How about that?

That's great. I'll write that as a sign. Okay, I'm going to drown you guys. Anyway, the fortune teller told us that we'd find something, which we did. We found the pendant. And then they also told us that we'd find an ally in you. So I think we're going to kind of all be instrumental in killing Strage one day. Also destroyed our soft opening to our potato vegan restaurant, which were changing to a meat

restaurant. Okay. Are we? Exactly. Yeah, that was discussed at some point. I can't remember we're vegan. I'm not a phone anymore, so I'm not vegan. Yeah, so we all have our reasons, you know, killed your mentor, destroyed our soft opening.

We're all trying to get rid of Strad here. Yes, we all have equal claims to kill Stroud, it seems. I must hold out hope that my mentor is still alive. When I went to Velaki, I saw that he had left his monkey, Piccolo. Yeah, not a good sign to leave the monkey behind. Well, I think that, yeah. He's a, Leoman is a kind eccentric man, and he saw that Gandalfi, really wanted that monkey, so I think he left him there.

Well, I also really wanted that monkey, so it's not, we can't really base what's happening on where the monkey is. Yeah. And that monkey really wanted me. Piccolo, Piccolo kind of does what he wants. Yeah. He's a free man. Sure, yeah.

And I love that about him. When I conversed with Piccolo via sign language, I got this sense that Leumann's spark connecting him to the monkey was still, active. Do you have sky? I don't. I'm still working on that one. I've like almost mastered it. Sure. It's really embarrassing, but like I'm super close. Well, maybe he's not dead. Maybe he's just like tied up in his like torture chamber and is being like brutally tortured. He could be getting tortured. He also, maybe he's a coward. Did he run away? Do you think he's a secret coward?

He tried to form an army and then he felt stupid about it. Yeah. Do you think he feels stupid because he didn't make the army in Morovia. Maybe he went off to make an army, but everyone was like, you're kind of a loser, Liamann, and then they didn't join the army. It was like, as if nothing happened, honestly. Number one, fuck you. Number two, I think you're projecting a little bit. Because, like, Leo's fucking awesome.

Sure. He's like a stone cold killer. He used to be just, like, a silly wizard that did, like, party tricks, like, tiny chest and tiny huts and Gertier's. But then, like, after the vampire attacks, he kind of got serious. And he's been kind of a vampire hunter ever since. Yeah, that's cool. Where is he now?

That's what I want to find out. Yeah, is he a vampire hunter? Is he a vampire runner away from it? Yeah, that's true, because those are two very different things. Okay, it's just like, this is my freaking traveling tavern, and you guys are, like, stinking it up with your nasty words. So, like, if you can just cool it for a godsend second. Yeah, Nyeck, come on.

Okay. I just feel like you're slacking on the signs, man. Yeah, Nyack. There's no more. There's no more. There's a, okay. Yeah, we have a lot of signs. We have more signs than Lake.

Do we think that the roof should also be a sign, Yeah, we'll do like a tiled roof Kind of almost like you're doing like a tin roof But it will all be signs about drinking at the lake That's freaking sick That's cool, okay Yeah, that's awesome Oh, each tile will be like a different beer coaster

Yeah Oh, something get a lugging everything we have drink How about this? Too drunk to swim, too happy to die There you go Oh, that's fun Yeah, was that AI or is that you? That was a lot

all me, but I feel like, I saw that one that the Buckees somewhere. I wonder if I could put that into keychain and you can punch it up. Hang on, let me feed them some acreage. I need 14 Fian bottles. Okay. All right. Okay, so now we're going to this winery and we've got these wine moms that we're telling us that there's, I guess, some corrupt druids there that are sort of part of a cult of

Straud. Oh, yeah, it's a boy mom. They love struts. Oh, perhaps these two were ravens that came with us could answer some questions. They're kind of, yeah. Hello, yes, we're the wear ravens.

Hello, yes. Hi, my name is Dag. Hello, it's so good to meet you. Okay, hi. This is my wife, Steph. Hello, I'm Steph. Hi, oh, it's so good to meet you. I'm sorry, couldn't be more help

in that battle, but you guys did great. Yes, apology, not accepted. I died. Where were you guys? We were guarding chompo to make sure that he didn't get hurt As you instructed us, yes, hello, would you like us to fly ahead to the winery and warn them that you're coming? Are there people at the winery that aren't corrupted by, like, the druids and stuff?

Yes, the old Crow Davian, he runs the winery. He's the father of Irwin, and of course, also Alinka and Sovia and Mirabelle. And we would be happy to go and warn him that you're coming. He's a bit of a grump, that old Davian. Okay. So if you would allow us to fly ahead, we'd be having to warn him. Get out. Okay, if I went out!

Get out! It's been a pleasure. Just fucking go! Flap, Blap, Blap, Flap, Flap, Flap. Jesus. Fly away. I did not see them coming. Jens just rubs his head.

Did anyone else get a bad vibe from those guys? Can we open, Esmeralda, can we open a flap in here? Can we get some fresh air circulating, please? Jesus. My brother has a migraine. There was just so much. So you keep traveling through the night. As you relax a little bit,

Markovia, you see, tries to sit down in a chair, but her ghost body keeps clipping through it and just going into the floor. And she kind of looks around and says, before we sleep, are there any other subjects I can illuminate for you? Any questions? We left the abbey in quite a hurry,

and I would be happy to share my ghostly wisdom. I mean, we got a damn pendant. We got bones. We killed an angel. What else was in the abbey? Ha, there were notes, writings from Alana during her stay there.

Oh, that's your mom. I point to Marina. Oh, yes. Did you read them? If I came across private personal notes, I would have read them. I try not to be a snoop, but yes, absolutely I did. I watch over everything that goes on in the Abbey, and I was worried especially about Alana.

She came to the Abbey to study with the abbot. She had heard much about his abilities to heal curses. And while she was there, she experimented with combining garlic with abjurative and necromanic magic. She seemed to be on the verge of a breakthrough. However, before she could test her theories, Marina's biological mother, Demira, arrived, pregnant. Alana was asked to help deliver the baby,

and after that she suspected that the abbot might have strange motives for the soul that dwelt within Marina. It was then that she decided to flee. I caught that, strangely, the place she was fleeing too, was the very winery where we had now. So if there are more notes from Alana, more revelations, I think perhaps we will find them there. So we might find the herbs and spices at the winery.

Yes, the final form. The recipe. It seems she was almost there. She was working on the vampire curse. And by using the knowledge of the abbot, perhaps she got a step closer. I think that if there is a truth to be uncovered, perhaps it is at this winery as well.

Yeah. All right. well all signs point to the winery yes but first to the lake to Luna Lake first to Luna Lake right but first but first thank you that was pretty good that was pretty good and these guys don't drink anymore but I still enjoy Neville besides oh do you I love the way it smells oh yeah I love to be around yeah do you yeah you guys do you drink it yeah okay I enjoy being around the ambiance the atmosphere if you really like it have a sip

Nyack? I'll have a, let me have a sniff. Okay. Oh, that's full-bodied. That is really nice. You wasted it. You wasted it. You both wasted it. We're not friends anymore. Okay, you know that, right? I can party. That's all you have to drink, because I drank all the water. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, you drive further into the night. The mist's kind of flowing past you. Despite how rocky the path is, it is a rather smooth ride. You feel like there's maybe a a further enchantment built into this cabin to make it nice and relaxing

while you try to sleep. Great shocks. Well, thank you. Yeah, got this thing tricked out. Yeah, my brother knows cars. Yeah, which body shop do you go to? The best, the good one. Only the best for Jen.

Yes, they're so thorough. Because there's like, I'm from Greyhawk. I'm from Greyhawk, and there's just like no body shops there. So if you've got like a recommendation. Yeah, we're from Trinity Vale. Yeah, just, okay. Yeah, I've heard of Trinity Vale. Could you like, oh, which is part of Trinity Vale are you from?

Top part? top part okay yeah the rich part okay we're very well to do yeah that came up yes the name of the mechanic is top parts top part we always add money

it's not new yeah it's not new we're old money and new money we didn't marry into it we had old money we invested it we made more money so we're both money damn you guys are sharp we have generational wealth that came to us and now we have more that we'll go to our

when we spend money it's not surprising to us. Yeah. We don't look at price tags when we go shopping. Yeah, we don't even look at price tags. Like, ask me how much milk is. How much is? How much is?

I have no fucking clue. We don't know. Yeah, because where's that old money? I know how much milk is because I'm AI. Milk is $400. Yeah, so it sounds right. And that's right. That sounds right.

I don't know the train of ale exchange. That sounds pretty right to me. Yeah. Okay, wow, you guys like, you guys are on their level. Top parts, top parts. Okay, I'll check it out next time in there. Check it out. I don't know that we can get there because of all.

all like the mist and everything. Yeah. I'll probably be able to get back, but like, I don't know that you will. Just forget it. It might not even be open anymore. I don't know. Yeah.

Because it was open back then, but like who knows how many years have passed since we've been here. And they might only be able to work on Jen's car because there's a lot of time. It requires a lot of attention. It's sort of a private mechanic, actually, now that I'm remembering.

Because we have had money for so long. Yeah, because we've had money for so long. Well, if we kill Strauss. Like, you wouldn't take your car to a shop. You would just have someone that worked on your car. Do you know anything? Yeah, we didn't take it to a shop. We had someone take it for us.

Yeah. Yeah. It was AI. It's a self-driving car. It drove itself to the shop. Okay. Everything you're saying sounds fucking fake. Okay.

But if it's true, you guys are awesome. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. I brush my teeth with champagne. But you don't drink it. No. Spit it out.

I spit it out with my tooth paste. God damn. That's sick as hell. Okay, well, I'm super hurt. I was like stuck in the basement for like a day in the half, so I'm going to fall asleep. Yeah, I'm going to pop in Ambien and drink a bottle of wine. Do you?

Night, ambien? Yeah. Oh, sick. All right. Cool. Thank you. Night, everybody. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Go fuck yourself. I'll stay up. I can stay up. Nikes as he falls asleep. Great. So you guys all get comfy. You do see that Fitbit and also the,

the donk squad is over here as well. They all kind of team up and, like, sleep on a pile of his Mark's clothing in the corner. All of our sweet don't. And as the carriage rattles gently down the old spolet road, you all fall asleep, and yet again your minds are filled with strange visions. This time, you see Strath's brother Sergei. He looks like a younger, more cheerful version of Strad, and you see him dressed in a white military outfit on the day of his wedding. He embraces a woman that looks exactly like Marina, and instinctually you know this to be Tatiana.

They embrace, they kiss, and then suddenly a flash of lightning fills your vision. And then you see Sergei lying on the ground, blood pouring from two small wounds in his neck. In his hand, he clutches the dawn flower pendant, which gleams faintly with a fierce, purple light. From above, you hear a familiar cackle. Followed by screams as Baba Lissauga and three crones shed their earthly disguises and begin launching spells and claws at the remaining wedding guests. As the carnage unfolds, Sergei, through the vision, turns to you, his skin growing pale and says, Marina

Jens, Nyak Onyx I've seen you through the mists of time keep fighting grow stronger and above all else do not

give in to despair his body slumps and his eyes grow dim and you awaken with a jolt Oh my god Holy shit. Jins, are you okay?

You've got like, is there like a bottle of wine under your sheet? What is that? God, I've got a bottle of wine under here. What happened? I had, Sergey spoke to me and said, if Onyx and Nyak don't party with you, they're going to die. I said they'll drop dead.

He did say don't give in to despair. Really? Yeah, that's crazy. Did you, well, Onyx, did you have a dream? Because I had one, but it didn't mention that part. Yeah, my dream is like, he, like, talked to all of us and was like, you have to be strong. Yeah. And he was like, you have to be stronger.

Which made you feel insulted. And I was like, I'm not strong enough already. Sure, yeah. And I wanted to mouth back, but I couldn't because I was paralyzed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey, don't give into despair. Give into despair of wine glasses.

Okay. That's great. It's really early for that. That's a lot. You see, keychain chugs an entire water cooler bottle. There you go. That's okay. You need that.

Yeah, you need that water. Drink up, Baba. Drink up, big boy. I'm getting stronger. So, okay, so I think these, the witches, I think, are straight up at this tree. Yeah, I think they're near the winery. It's the boy moms. It's Bobby Saga and Tar Covemins.

Maybe that's the Druids. Yeah, so we got to get rid of the boy moms. You guys do have to. keep partying with me. Okay, Nayak, did they say anything in your dream about this? They said to keep fighting, and I guess that's kind of saying party in a way, because it's fight against the man, fight against the machine, fight against conformity. Yeah, I'm just saying, so like you guys, you know, whatever, just know that you're like

risking yourselves anyway. Do we think, is there, okay, so souls are kind of coming back here to Barovia. They're being, like, recycled. Is Sergei anywhere? I open up my tote. Markovia? I'm going to ask the bones. You open up the bone toad.

Yeah. Great. Yeah, you open up the bone tote. Markovia kind of arises from it. She says, I like to get a solid 14. Please. It's so early. Sorry, wake up.

Understood. I respect that. You inquired about Sergey. Yeah. As I was once the ward of the abbey and now am tied to this realm. I am cut off from the reincarnation cycle. So I cannot say for certain. Where the Sergei's soul has been reborn, but if it were, I think that Strade would be pursuing it as well.

He has a fascination with the past. He cannot let go of it. I think that is why he so doggedly pursues poor Marina. So Molina is Datiana. Yes, the soul has been reborn, and the flesh reflects the soul. That is the way of Barovia. Marina, did you think Sergey was cool? Did you think he was hot? Like, yeah, when he's had the dream, were you like, he's cool? Did you have a dream about Sergey? You don't have to tell us all every single part of it.

Did you have a dirty dream? See, Marina's blushing furiously. Yeah, he's kind of a smoke show, right? Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. He's a felt lean, tall. Probably should have used Elf shot instead of the pendant, but he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Yeah, he's so strong.

Yeah, he winked at all of you in the dream, right? Yeah. Oh, wow, we're at the lake. Whoa, that's crazy. Look, there it is. You do look out the window. And you see that the sun has set now. It is nighttime.

You traveled through midday and into the night. Our sleep schedule is fucked. Oh, yeah. I need to go to sleep right now. Alex goes back to sleep. The wagon clatters peacefully around the lake. But keychain circles a few times to give everyone a little more chance to wake up and prepare for another day. Great.

I empty the septic into the lake, Dave Matthew's tile. Wait, what is that? It's just gray water. Oh, no, that's, oh, that was the whole tank. Dave Matthews-style? You calling people out from 30 years ago? You can't do a poop gate on the lake. This needs to be a sacred place.

Oh, my God. Sorry, I don't remember all the details. It didn't mean to go in on DMB that hard in so long. It definitely happened. It definitely happened. So you all step out of the wagon at this lake. It is smaller than Lake Zarvich. Sorry, but it is still a sizable lake.

Jen's visibly disappointing. I honestly tries to look hopeful, but she's crying again. You said it was bigger than Lake Zaravich. You promised it was the biggest lake. Okay, we'll spend time here again. No one ever said that. Or did Sergei tell you that? Come on, man.

So what do I do? Throw your freaking back into the water? What do I do? This is a swamp. It's a glorified fucking swamp. It's a puddle from my barking laugh. It's a swamp because you poop gated it. I can't believe I'm crying right now.

It's not my... I can't believe I'm crying. It's not my fault that I did what my favorite band is. I'm not crying because of sad. Look, I was... I don't know why there's so much shit in the fucking wagon. I was only in there for a few hours. Yeah, I didn't even go number two.

I think Leamund has like a little portal and he's sending like all of his waist here specifically. Yeah, this is central waste tub that connects pretty much every Leamond thing. So like... Okay, so it's Lehman's gigantic toilet is what it is. It's all goes here. Yeah, it makes it disappear so that you can just like go in a bucket or something. He makes a hole that just sends it to the septic

It's even more than a jam band would create That's an ensemble Jeez Louise They generate a lot of waste Because you need a lot of carbs to noodle like that Hey there, Nat Poles So I've got a question for all the gamers out there Are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year?

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you do see these just like beautiful slivers of moonlight fighting to burst through the foggy clouds above. And you see these slivers dancing. on this exceptionally tranquil lake. And as you stare at it, preparing for this ritual, you do feel a newfound sense of purpose. You think back to what Sergei said. You think back to Madam Ava and all of the relics and allies you've collected

and you feel a sense of resolve and you guys are all now level five. Yes. All right. Yes. You know, it's actually, you know, when like, the weather's really nice for a while and then it's kind of crappy and you're like,

ooh, fall weather finally? I'm kind of getting that feeling a little bit, you know? It's not that bad. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm just trying to make the best of it. Like, we're here, right? There's a lot of flies because of the poop now.

Yeah. Maybe I'll put on a corded sweater. It's kind of like autumn by the lake. Yeah. We can do an autumn by the lake thing. So maybe it's less jet skis. It's just, it's leaf peeping. Yeah.

Okay. Let's peep some leaves. It's like fall vibes. Okay. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Okay. All right.

So what do we do with your bones, Markovia? You see that Markovia points. to a large rowboat at the shore of the lake. Despite the dampness of the air, it does seem to be untouched by rot. She gestures you over to it and explains how this ritual is going to work. Normally, a hallow spell takes 24 hours to cast,

but if we all work together, we can cast it faster and more powerfully. I think that Esmeralda, with your mastery of evocation, we can also create more of a livable structure, a fortress, holy stronghold against Strad and his minions. But first, we must place my bones in the center of the lake. I wish we had done that before putting the poop in, but... Yeah, well, when you hallow it,

I think the poop will go away, right? That is the hope. That is the hope. We have to hope. We must, because the fortress is going to be a cool lakehouse. Let's do that. We must not give in to despair. We must hope that the poop shall be removed. And then perhaps, Esmeralda, you can use this spell on your septic tank that connects all of Liamann's many properties. Wow, that's awesome. would be so cool um so she guides you all to this rowboat um as you head down there you see keychain transforms into dog mode and says don't worry me and the don't squad will keep watch while you make our new clubhouse in the lake okay great uh yell if anything goes wrong i whisper because the dog squad can't do anything oh man all that talk about drinking wine i feel like i'm hung over without even

drinking yeah no we know all right dudeo great man uh good luck out there we'll keep watch okay sure thank god i wink he trust us guys we got to do this uh i walk over i get into the boat i put on headphones and i wait with my arms folded nyack row oh yeah niac rose niac trips into the boat um you hear dmb blaring loudly over your bad headphones as you rode to the center of this lake eat drink and be merry um and as you reach the center, Marina drops the toad bag of bones towards the bottom. And as they sink and fade from view, the water begins to pulse and hum as ripples of faint blue light emanate from its center. The poop is disappearing. It's a miracle. I believe in God. We must tell Dave

Matthews. If only Dave knew, those damn journalists never would have got him. Jenner, punch yourself. Oh, they dragged him, brother. They were waiting for that. They love to see a king fail. We can make one sweet world with this spell. As you all rejoice at the fleeing of the poop, Markovia's form solidifies and begins to glow.

She sits in the center of the boat and instructs everyone to join hands. Marina, you shall serve as my. mortal conduit, tethering my will to this realm. Esmerelda, you will use your evocation magic to give physical form to our new sanctuary. And of course, you three, she eyes you with a suspicious respect and says, Gens, Onyx, Nyak, as those chosen by the cards of fate, you must use your minds to determine the shape this hallowed fortress shall take. a frame

A frame everybody Okay Anix says positioned herself Between Jens and Nyack Because she doesn't want to Hold a stranger's hand We're weirdly like Stacked on the one side of the boat

And start to sink Onix what the fuck are you doing Esmerald is like reaching You got to grab my hands Sorry Esmeral I think you're giving Onix the ick I have to add's too old I haven't moisturized in the while

Come on give me a fucking break Hold my hand What's going on You're being weird. Niagara is a right there. I think you have poop on your hand, dude. I'm trying to not hold Nyax's hand. It's disappearing.

I'll put a glove on. But that's easy you can't hold Nyax on. You gave the gloves to the corpse pride, dude. We don't have any more gloves. I didn't give shit to anyone. I had a ton of gloves. I only gave her a couple. So as you figure out your position here,

you all reluctantly grab hands and the ritual begins. Beneath the boat, the rippling blue light forms an island that expands until it's large enough to support a house.

As this ghostly mass appears, Markovia turns and asks. Now tell me first, what style of house should this sacred fortress resemble? A-frame. Whoever holds the purest vision in their heart. A-frame.

Okay. A-frame. That could be... A-frame could be sponsored. A-frame. It's cabin core. A-frame. You wish it all to be an a-frame.

A-frame. A-frame. Very well. Focus your hearts and your minds on an A-frame, and somebody roll me a history or religion check. So why don't I give Bardick to Onyx? Okay. Great.

And then you can make the check. Okay. Can I help as well? Yes, of course. Great. You can help and give her Bardick. You're all holding hands. You're all part of this ritual.

You feel the humming and pulsing of this spiritual mass beneath you as it begins to take form. Onyx. You think back to your... college days, that one class you took on architectural design. Yeah. Okay. I remember. Turrets, spires.

Turrets and spires in an a frame? But don't think of them for this a frame. An a frame with like so much, so many like Gothic additions. That's so many frames. The A frame is supposed to be shaped like an A. Why's this got, it's a fucking W frame? Why is it a turd?

So it's a pitched roof with some turrets. Yeah, it's an A-frame, and then there's towers on the side. And if you do all whitewashed brick, it can be more like a McMansom. Okay, whitewashed brick, but also medieval fortification. Hold fast to the vision. Yeah, things are changing. I got a 16. 16. Okay, so we're going to do this kind of mash style.

How well your role will determine how good the house is. With a 16, oh, you managed to make a pretty tasteful A-frame that's Whitewashed with turrets. Okay. I mean, I do love a McMansion. I don't know that we needed the turrets. So it's definitely more of a W frame, right? That's a W frame.

What is a W, but an A with two towers on the side? And a turret. You speak your idea. You form it in your mind. Sorry, I couldn't stop thinking about turrets the second you told me not to think of them. Oh, there's another turret. They keep popping up.

Turrets just pop up like zits. You see lines of glittering blue light rise from this ghostly island, criss-crossing and intersecting into an explosion of turrets and frames. As this W-frame McMansion full of turrets comes into being. Kind of cubist. It's brutalist, that's what it is. Markovia looks troubled, but she shakes it off and continues. And now, inside this mighty bastion, what glorious rooms await us?

Mid-century modern. Mid-century modern. It's all mid-century modern. What is it called open space? Open floor plan. Open-floor plan. Open concept mid-century, but like grandma still lives there, so like vinyl tablecloths, plastic on the couch. Okay.

With maximalists, sort of with chotchkes on the wall. Okay. Oh, yes. Can we do a whole wall of glass figurines, little angels that are chutzels? that are chubby. We're going to do angels. Chubby angels. Chubby angels.

Chubby angels. Chubby bashful. Chubby bashful angels. They have bashful cheeks and bashful butts. Oh, the angels have bashful little butts. They'll be so shy about it. They're bashful little butts. They're so shy.

Everywhere. Everywhere. I want to not be able to move an inch without touching an ankle. On the hand towels. On the toilet paper rack. Yeah. On the pit all this. on the closet doors

on every piece of closing in there how do you move in this house just walk around stepping on angels yeah you picture a house that is entirely made of glass cabinets and surfaces covered in cheeky little angels yeah they're bashful

bashful great so as you you peer inside this house one big one one big room one big one No, one big jubby angel. One big chubby angel? Oh, yeah, like creating us like a butler at the front door. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Let's put it cool, you can hang your keys there. Yeah. Yeah. So as you peer into this house, investigating this like blueprint in your mind, give me an investigation check. Okay, I'll give Bartik inspiration to Nyack.

Nyack, I can give you help as well. All right. Hell yeah. 21. 21. one, it's gaudier than you could have ever thought possible. Yeah. It is resplendent.

Oh, and then we need the wine signs as well. We need wine signs and bashful angels. The angels are holding the wine signs. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a little, there's one angel in the bathroom that's like holding the toilet paper roll. Yeah. And like all, it's a bunch of like angels drinking wine, but they're clearly babies, but it's fine because they're angels.

Maybe he's a plunger is in an angel who's like pinching his nose like pee you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, like you can't stand the scent of your shit and your ass. But he's bashful about it. He's so bashful about his cheeks are red. Interesting. My cheeks are red and so is my wine. Yes, here it is.

Our holy fortress. It is holy. It does look holy. I must give you that. Yeah, I mean, it's covered in angels. Very good. We are nearly done. The ritual is almost complete.

Now, I must ask you, the grounds of this sacred dwelling. What features define it? Turrets. Oh, yeah, turret yard. Turrit yard. Yeah. Pea gravel. What is pee gravel?

What is that? Just like crushed stone everywhere. Oh, yeah. Get rid of the lawn and just have stones. Yeah, stone lawn. So you have to wear shoes to go on your own lawn. Because it's a drought-resistant rock lawn. Rock lawn.

Maybe a couple broken down cars. Oh, that's really fun. Like cool cars. Yeah. We'll go cool cars rocks Like that monument in the desert With like the Cadillacs, you know Yeah

That's pretty cool Yeah so stone lawn Stone lawn Stone lawn Stone lawn I mean it should basically be a parking lot Is the thing Because we have a lot of cars

And if people visit Where will they park Yeah A parking lot I'm sorry let's just do a parking lot Oh okay Yeah yeah Pave it over

We some things that get so hot And then there'll be a sign That says they pave paradise And put up a parking lot And it got even better because we love parking lots. Because parking lots are where you park to get wine. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we even put it down, draw lines for where cars would park. Yeah, let's make a lot of lines, so it's kind of hard to park there, like compact cars. Yeah, it's just a parking lot. Small lines for compact cars only.

With lots of signs, like preventing people from parking there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A parking lot for our secret layer. Yeah. All right. Okay. you picture this beautiful, pristine parking lots outside of your W-frame grandma house.

Holy shit. It's perfect. Go ahead and give me a nature roll. Okay. That should be Nyak, right? Yeah, that's probably Nyack. No, I have plus zero to nature. I have a plus zero as well.

I'm sorry, you're an idiot. Like, is that not his whole thing? I just turned to Onix. Are you, like, what is his deal? Do you use intelligence? I think I use, I guess I do. I guess I do. Okay, no, I don't

I use wisdom Oh yeah, because it's wisdom Oh, and nature is intelligence That's, yeah, that's nature's intelligence It's such a funny insult Do you use intelligence? It doesn't So actually it makes sense

Actually, I'm on your side That's a problem with the game, not Nyack I'm on your side, Nyad Do you have any nature? Plus zero Okay, I have plus three Okay, whoa Okay, I'll make a nature check

for the parking lot Okay, I'll give you an outbackion. Okay, thank you. 13. 13. This is a tacky but tasteful parking lot. Hooters style. Wow.

Delightfully tacky yet unrefined. It is just, it is a Hooters parking lot. It's a Hooters parking lot. Wow. Does they have any of those horses that you can put a quarter in and ride? Oh, definitely. Sure. I do think, yeah, as you look, as it form,

you can see that this was clearly a hooters once and it was rebuilt into this double. Then the W became, yeah, it's built out from a hooters. It was like the IHop A frame, then we built another A frame to make it a hooters, then we moved in out of turrets. This used to be a really nice hooters, you can tell. Oh, yes, it was a W-frame hooters

because that kind of looks like boobs. Oh, yeah. There we go. Yeah, really sad, pointy ones. Right. So hot. Oh, it was witch hooters. Yeah, which did.

Wuders. So you see this parking lot manifest. You see this beautiful, lush, spiritual ground starts growing. And it just gets flattened into this Hooters parking lot. There we go. Markovia just shakes her head, but plows forward and says, finally, this spell is almost complete. We must name this hallowed hall.

Hooters Parking Lot. Hooters. Hooters. Hooters. Hooters, too. Uder's Tudors Tudors Tudors Tudors Tudors T-W-O-O-T-E-R-S

Tudors Because it's like a Tudor Yeah And the W in two Of Tudors is the W-Framed It's a Tudor style Delightfully Tacky yet hollowed

Why do you think we need This turret? Because everyone is trying to come to Uders too That's why we have to have so many parking spaces But also turrets to not allow them. Very well.

New pilgrims shall flock here. All those that oppose strad shall come to tutors. I just realized this is actually so rude because we call it, we set up the expectation of Uders, but it's just a bunch of fashionable baby butts. And it's also just our house.

Markovia, if people are going to flock here, we should put a pay station in the parking lot. Oh, yeah, pay to parks. And as butfuckers drive Oh, that's good. Yes. And there could be a Sputfuckers drive-through? Yeah.

Maybe like some super charge stations, Esmeralda chimes in. Yeah. For like electric cars? Sure, as long as we can charge for that. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

Okay. Well, most of the, like, sun power and the water and air is going to be being used by keychain. So let's not do that. I'm going to be the sassy waiter. There you go. As you say this last thing, you do see a little sign that says future home of spudfuckers appears next to it. and this hallow spell is complete. You see, as it finishes, this glistening bridge appears

connecting the island to the lake shore. Wow, look at this wet bridge. Look at this highway. Let's put it tall on the bridge. Oh, that's a good idea. You guys are really clever. Esmerald is all about it. It's tough out there.

You've got to make money when you can. And maybe a parking lot to wait to go onto the bridge to come parking on parking lot. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, we'll do a ferry. Yeah, there should be a restaurant on the other side of the water, too, in case the toll road gets too busy and you have to stop and eat before you get to Tudors. Very good.

This place has now become hallowed. To the eyes of the wicked, it shall appear as nothing more than a simple lake. But to those who seek to defeat Strad and purge this land of its curse, tutors shall serve as an unbreakable refuge. Bashful Angels. Wine signs Lake O'Clock It's a lot

I must admit But it is yours It's a parking Slots Really good on it I bow And then I jump into the lake She doesn't want to swim

Oh my god I'm sorry I've never seen anyone drown that fast I go limb She gave up so fast She's finally getting buried at sea Naya she's getting there and get her out

Nyack flops in also doesn't know how to swim. I sink to the bobbled, bottom without even a bubble. Nyak sinks to the bottom, too. I painstakingly save both of them. Jesus. So as you pull a sopping wet onyx out of the water and back onto the sacred land, you see Keychain and the donks squad meet up with you.

You all enter the Tudors, surrounded by these glistening bashful angel dolls and wine signs. Oh, you guys are. so shy. And as you sit there, Markovia, now kind of fully replenished. You see she is essentially corporeal in this space. Her silver armor and blue tabored kind of look refreshed and renewed. She looks totally in her element. Once more, a high priest and warrior of the morning lord ready to fight against Strad. She welcomes you in and then turns to Marina and says,

marina you have fought bravely child but you still have much to learn if you wish i could teach you here as long as you remain in this tutors you will be safe from strad's influence and if you submit to my tutelage i can forge you into a deadly weapon tutelage tutelage with the w yes of course I am to us like their tattas Nyack that's crass stop I apologize for him

that I feel like I can see some hip bills on It's okay We have to work with what we have Sorry I have to cool off Nyack jumps in the lake I jump in and save him After he doesn't service

For three minutes Markovia ignores you And continues talking to Marina Marina I swear On the morning lord On the blade of truth On these very lands, I will forge you into a deadly weapon against the vampire and all his forces.

You see Marina holds out her sword and looks conflicted. She turns to Jens and says... It's fine. You would allow this sword, master? Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. I know that this is a big decision. Yep. Okay.

Mm-hmm. You're good. Very well. Thank you. Yep. She bows deeply, she sews her sword, and says, When you see me again, I shall be strong enough to stand with you against Rod. Yeah. Well, you know, I still don't have a second attack. So.

I just look sad. I thought at level five, I got a second attack. Oh, yeah. That's not so. Level six. And I don't get until level six. So what the fuck do I have to teach you? you, Marina. I jump into the water and sink. I jump in the water to save you and immediately

sink. I jump in and also sink. Jens, this time, Udo and the donk squad help pull you out. And as they put you back inside the W frame, they look to you and say, Jens, if it's all right, I think we'd like to train here too. Yeah. It's okay? Yep, 100%. I just feel like it's all right if I never see you again. Yeah, it's fine. You got, yeah, no, you guys need it. So please. For sure. Sure. If you wanted to go home, if you wanted to train here, if you wanted to join Stratt, honestly, you guys be pretty easy to beat. Whatever you guys need to do. Okay. Yeah. We've spoken amongst ourselves. Okay. And we've decided that until we can return to being human, we'll use our donkey powers to make a world where all truly will be well. He holds up his hooved fist. Sorry, did you park here? How did you get here? Are you in a lot? Did you take the bridge? Is it all working?

Do I need to validate? We do not. No, we do not validate. The sign said validate, but I can figure out where to do it. Yeah, we don't validate. We don't validate. But you do need it to be validated. I don't have money because I'm a donkey, man.

Okay. And I don't have pants. We're going to tell your car. Do you know people that have money? Okay. Do we need to put up a sign. Do not cross this bridge unless you have money. Actually, we already have one up.

All right. Well, I mean, people are going to come here and they're going to go to the spud fucker so we can charge him. And then maybe I'll get a part. part-time job there. Is that I don't know. Yeah, you can work at this, budfuckers. Okay, right.

All right. Udo, you know, I've been hard on you, but, you know, you helped us out by yelling at the baron that one time. You're brave, even if you're bad at fighting, and you're kind of dumb. Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. He leans in for a kiss. Jen's less confused, but I guess gives him a back and goes, all right, yeah.

Sorry, yeah, sorry. Your faith will not be in vain. Yeah, I think I'm married. Me too, I think? Yeah. Geez. Well, my mind is imperfect from the process. Okay.

Anyway, we will work hard, and I promise you we will be ready when you return. All right. Keep the angels bashful for us. Yes, please. You've already kicked over several angels. I would appreciate if you could watch where you're walking. They're just everywhere. They're just everywhere.

Just frankly, everywhere. And I'm still kind of drunk. Barcovia nods And then she turns to you and says Yes Complete your errands at the winery Then return here When the time to challenge Strad has come

They will be ready She nods at you And then turns back to face her new pupils Knocking over a couple angels as she does Hey hey Hey those are expensive Oh my God Those are collectors

That one was so bashful It was mostly butt Yeah That's why he was so bashful. What do you think is his bashful about? It's why he was bashful. Oh, my God. She pulls out her sword, knocking over more angels.

Oh, my God. You hate that. Yeah, the ones with the huge wings are just hard not to knock over. From this day forth, you are all my pupils. You are the wards of St. Markovia, and I shall make sure that you are all warriors forged. Train in the parking lot, okay? Yeah, you need room. That is what they're there for.

To the parking lot. You see, they all march to the parking lot, cheering, excited, eager to train and get stronger. And they all wave at you as you cross the bridge and head back to your wagon with Esmeralda. I just realized it's a holy place, so we don't have to pay taxes. Wow. Did you think of that? That's excellent. Right? Don't churches.

It's a tax shelter. Yeah. And Sputfuckers is on this land. Yeah. Oh, my. God. Once we opened, this was the flagship butt fuckers. Every cent we earned is untaxed. We need to be

making religious fast food. Yeah. Yeah. It's been done. It's been done. No, no, no. But we can do it better. We can do it better. We can do it better. We keep all of the angels. The decor is the same. I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but it sounds awesome. I want to in.

Yeah. Okay. First, number one, we kill strad. Number two, we make shit tons of money on this restaurant, church, or whatever. Sounds great. Okay. I'm happy to help you. You save my life.

I'm at your disposal. All right. Depending on how much you help kill Strad, that's, you know, how much of a partner you are. Makes sense to me, baby. And we might not want to make this out promise because there's like, I mean, is the dunk squad going to come along and suddenly they are part of it? Actually, you know, we're going to pay, we'll pay you as an independent contractor. It's not going to be tied to anything. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah, whatever, whatever works best for you, I'm really just here to try and see if my master are still alive. But, you know, if I can make some fucking gold on the side, that's great. All right. Okay. Okay.

Shall we go to the winery? Yeah, I could drink. Yeah, we all better have a drink because Sergey said, you know, he said what he said. Let's face it, I look grimly and I walk in. They might have an alcoholic. So you all climb back aboard the wagon, the spectral horses Winnie, as you leave the Luna Lake Basin and your new base tutors behind and start climbing the gin. sloping hills towards the winery.

Eventually, you see a series of unpainted fences lining a dirt path, which skirts north towards a sprawling vineyard and a stately manner. The fog here takes on ghostly forms as it swirls between the neatly tinned rows of grapevines. On the ground, you see rope-handled half-barrels used for hauling grapes, some of which have fallen over and spilled their contents. Near the manor, you see several workers and thick cloaks huddled together, but none of them look at you.

And none of this holds your attention for long. Because beyond the vineyard, on a neighboring hill, you see a colossal figure looming through the fog. At first, you think it must be some sort of giant, But on closer inspection, you see what it truly is. A massive tree. Its crooked limbs reach upward like hands from a grave, and its gnarled trunk twists into a shape that almost resembles a smile.

As you gaze upon its colossal frame, you hear a single word echoing in your head. Gothias. Gothias? Gothias, tree. Suddenly, the air is filled with a sound of crackling twigs. You chult your head to the side just in time to see one of the grape vines start to move. It untangles itself and rises slowly, revealing a set of sharp wooden claws.

More branches snap in the distance. and through the fog you see an army of brittle forms rise. They claw at the air and start shambling right towards you. And that's where we'll end our session. Little tree guys. Little tree guys. Now we're going to hang out before we fought tree guys. We're fighting trees.

You got to earn your hangout, bud. Yeah. This happens anytime you go on a wine tour, You got to fight some tree guys. You got to fight the tree. Ask anyone. You have to prune. You got to pay the tree toll.

Oh, guys, that was so much fun. I wish we could have spent more time at Tudors, but we will definitely be back. It was a pleasure. I'm excited to hear about your design process when we get into it on the short rest. Oh, yeah. You can listen to that short rest at patreon.com slash nadpot, N-A-D-P-O-D. Don't. See-I-Y-Y.

Don't sing yet. I'm going to three out of the trees. Okay. Does anyone have anything they want to plug? Yeah, I'll plug my substack. Stubstack.com slash at J. Kirwitz. Ooh. Nice.

Go read his words. Please. And I would love to plug once again the NAD pod calendar. This is a bunch of talented fan artists who have gotten together to make a 2026 calendar for charity. All profits are going to go to the UNICEF Gaza appeal. And I have exciting news. We are actually going to match the donations. So whatever they end up sending over, we are going to double that.

Beautiful. So please go pick one up. Linktree. dot com slash NAD calendar I believe is where you can find all of the pertinent links so go check that out

and please support a good cause yes thank you to all the artists that put that together and are working on it yeah I can't wait to see it hell yeah and you can follow us on social media there Mirren at U's at

CHMerve's Me at Caldice Caldwell at AXR's Emily and at Jake Herbert's Jake and you can talk about the show online using hashtag NADPOD that's NEDDPOD We are we are

the youth of the nation We are we are the youth of a nation on. I'm going to be able to be. It's the end of the show, and you know what that means? It's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D.

Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord. Later, Mix Gator, Matt M., Cutter W., Jeff C, Daniel G., Daniel the Dastardleaf Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T. Balnor's boy, Hoyd's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, T.J.M. Tralee the Crayfei. Christopher B. Drohi or Dr. O'hee. Now you have to say it. Not sure if I said it right, so I said it two different ways. I hope I got it. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald. Targott.

Stevie Wags. Hellish rebuquer, the N. B. D.M.H.J.S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every film ever made in behooom. Mike H. Alka Smelzer Plus Great Value Gemma Tyler F. C.C. Lulu. Bald Byrne. R. Q. Parreau. So rapid fuck detective. Timmy R. Jakes, jerk, jelly. Hashtagascar. C.C. Cascopard. Cass. Stephen C. Still looking for that drunk Asimar

who swore a blood oath to him once. Ooh, I want to hear that story. Nick W., Nico, the underpaid English teacher, God bless you, William W., Big Bad Birdo the Mad, Ananorama, Percival, Frederick Stein, Van Muso Clausowski, DeRolo the Third, Jay, Dragonborn Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock, impressive dongle, Ben A, Dave H., not that, Nick, Danny F, Hawkeye, Pierce. Big Bad John. D.P.C. is awesome. Shone the shade tree mechanic of Salable Dar. Summer Rose Grand Terre. Mark the Dark Lord's Taint. Cat C. Mesa of House and Zunza.

Ariel, the occasional mermaid. Selina and Valaci Raptor. Be perky always. Pat L. Lauren H. Serve 16. Annie, the Faywild therapist. Parogi frenzy. Bioquart 7. Bean rat was innocent. Trubb hop dropper. Jack H. King of the Mole people under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament. Valen Paj the bitch and Bonnie Bard Druidic Payton Carlin C. Omerie M. Noah the gentleman fister hashtag honor the cock

James G. Everything Bego The Elyzeron who just wants to hang out with this pet badger stripy. Reverend Chatterbones Han Eric B Marcos Ph.D. Eventually. Learns the balance, Druid, Frida M. Maggie, Grimm Waller executive chef of Bohumia, Bud Heavy, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, Cody C, Lorelei, the succubi, and Kira the succulent snack, cow go truck, and, I think I've read that one before, but it really makes me laugh.

your friendly neighborhood Yon and Uncle Andrew and Sid Don't skip over Thanksgiving John Adams loves it Oh I mean it is I love stuff And I really do

James F Wayfair Now has to do something with the trolls Get rid of them turn to page 42 Keep them turn to page 69 Oreo Burpo Good Barrow

Bart Perian Charlie Brown's best friend. Renee, the monster captain. Olivia, the enchanting bard and Jared, the soap opera cleric who are playing the wedding march for Onyx. Thank you. Blue Ash, Vico, Garrett, the artificer, Jay, K, guard, fancy mat. The fairies have returned to debauchery and must now go to the carnal corner. Kentrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian. Lexi H. MJ, the BFG, Roger L. No-Drog, the Pass-A-Fist, Barbarian. Brian L. and Eric B. are running a 50k!

Woo! Jean-Lucah, Leon Comori, legendary hero of Bohumia from a future campaign. Shananagan's O'Connor. Mios, the Great, Joshua S. Alexander. Lynn's W. Sky the Wise, aka the lone dungeon master. The spudfucker himself Johnny Dudeke. The mischief of Nat Pod's familiars. Pavu Escanar, the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile.

Jake Well, Murphaly. Tim M. Dragon Knight 86. Strungle, the main event. T.R. MLG. Cheeto. Shell B. Kenna's first favorite sprite girl. Thank you for the incredible D-20 tour. Mos Vegas was my favorite manifesting my first NatPod live in 2026. I'm hoping to manifest that for you too, and I hope you enjoyed Vegas.

Jet S. Snailus, the Eldrich Snail, Death to Tyrants. Stormy 52. Mimaw Sky Days. Megan N. Genevieve of the Sea. Anthony B. Balnor's best friend, Steve, Stephanie of Howson Zunza, Benjamin A, Gimley the Corgi Pop-on Foster's K-9 friend, so cute, Mickle A, S-tier, Crickwater, Enjoyer, Josh Hull, Pilot of the Nightmareverse Flight.

The two crew blew through, Ethan the Mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Nick A.J, Seth the stroker, bearer of all hog-related burdens, Billy Batson. Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes. Michael Lyle asked the second, Miao, Miao Kitten. Carl B, plumber of the realm. Ace dreg's high lord of Critsberg. Vind diagram, Catamilius the consumed.

Cam, the vampire frogman, Dean, Jake W, hi mom, Tuesday Cross, only here for the surf and mirth, who isn't? We love you, rat Jesus, Nadpod fan, and bar mitzvah man, it's Dave O, Steve and Law, Tyler M. Goddog, Zibada Bakery, Kaylee, Katarina C, Misty, the Crispy Kitty really hates. flame skulls. Greg W. There's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you. Thank you. Right back at you. Baruch, Thunderhelm, Fifth Generation Minotaur, working as an abandoned, labyrinth, tour guide. Chupacabry. Boney is dead. The Waterworth, your four-legged Greg companion. Oh, I forget about that, and then I read it, and I remember, and I got to do that someday. Nick, Amy, Aegis, Canari Ignition Class Petal Storm, not a DJ, but will still take the gig, DJ Dramamine.

My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show. Chef Julie B, support your local food pantry. Mama Mayhem, happy hogletays. Jen rules, kinda. Caitlin H., butt wax. Tomas C., Dark Lotus Creations. Joshua H. Jacob M. Louis H. A.J.D. And finally, Ben V. Thank you all so much. We love you. Goodbye, my sweeties. That was a HeadGum podcast.

What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes team. We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years.

We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like that. Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

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