Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep. 5: A Grave Encounter

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

The Triplets come face-to-face with the Master of Ravenloft and his dreaded minions! Onyx switches up her look, Nyack hunts a thief and Jens finds a new home as the Trinyvale X Strahd Crossover continues!Subscribe to NaddPod on Patreon! - Patreon.com/NaddpodCREDITSEditing by Brian Murphy and Caldwell TannerProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMusic Includes:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford"Where is the Manager?" by Emily Axford“The Gate” by Emily Axford"Strahd" by Emily Axford“Barovian Tango” by Emily Axford"Lights Out" by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford"Trinyvale Closing Theme" - Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Searching for a romantic summer getaway. Escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new audible original from Lily Chew. The exquisitely talented Philippa Sue, returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chew title. This time, Philippa is joined by her real-life husband, Stephen Pasquale, set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, aka the Hamptons of Canada. Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down-on-her-luck event planner, posing as a socialite's long-lost daughter, while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family,

and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer, now on Audible. Go to audible.com slash rich girl summer. This is a headgum podcast.

Welcome to Trinneville. And also Barovia. Fuck yeah, that gets me pumped. That gets me fucking pumped. Hold me back, bro. Hold me back. I'm going to narrate this shit. Jake was doing a little what-what-what-what would you do from old school Nickelodeon. I really appreciated that. That's right. Only 90s kids know. Go on, Caldwell. What would I do? I'd memorize an entire book and then recited. to you slowly over the course of several episodes. How about that? There we go. And here comes episode five. I am your Dracula uncle, aka Drunkle Caldwell Tanner, and I am joined, as always by my precious players. Brian Murphy. Got a complaint to Lodge with the manager, Stroudge.

Strudge works. Do not call him Strudge. It'll get furious. He'll one shot here. It's kind of like Scrooge, which like he is a mean manager, so there is Scrooge energy. Strach McDonch. I love how you're so cartoon brained that you're like, Scrooge, of course, Scrooge McDuck we're talking about. Oh, yeah. Ebenezer was the blueprint, dude. Yeah, fuck that, dude.

Uncle Strage McDuck. And of course, you got Emily Axford. Boy mother, like no other. It's on Xloubier. It's upperable. I want that on a shirt with the rhinestones. It says boy mother on the front, like no other on the back. No, I swear this is her D-D podcast.

I'm actually really. funny. If you look closely the rhinestones are tiny D-20s. And of course we've got Jay Kerwitz.

Lean, mean, charging for sour cream machine, Nyack of the Rantafor. Vegan. Vegan, it's so vegan.

Sour cream is extra. I guess it's all extra, but sour cream is even more extra. Yes, sir. But the potato's free.

Yeah. The potato is free. It's brilliant. And you know the only thing more brilliant than that? A recap. That's right,

friends. Before we give straw to your full, Let's get a mouthful of recap. Give me a mouthful, dongle. Give me a mouthful, Caldwell. Here it comes. Open wide, my hungry little robins.

He's going with it. When last we met, our wicked triplets awoke from their slumber to find is Mark the lesser outside their door with some double overnight oats that were soaked in more ways than one. After telling him and Marina your plan to honor their father by opening a questionably vegan, build your own potato bar called spudfuckers, Onyx asked Marina about her past, specifically inquiring about her adopted mother.

Marina confessed she knew very little and that her father wished not to speak of it. She also mentioned dreaming of a town in the heart of the valley, known as Velaki. Armed with this knowledge, you set out to purchase supplies for the funeral, but took a quick detour into Madame Ava's to get your fortunes read. Once inside, Madame Ava sold Onyx,

Bluetooth, and Nyak, a lot of weird dolls. God damn it. And then used the Taraka deck to read your future. The card spoke of relics and allies to be found in the Abbey of St. Markovia, as well as near an evil tree atop a hill of graves. The cards also mentioned that you would one day meet Strad in the tomb of his father, King Barov. After your reading, Onyx asked Madame Ava if she knew anything about Marina, and Ava surmised that the young woman could be one of Straud's past loves,

born. Madam Ava then pulled Onyx aside and mentioned that she thinks the night mother is trying to connect with her and that she should seek the megalith. She also gave you a deck of inspiration to be used in a time of need. You then made your way to Bill Drafts where Jins charmed the store's

owner into selling him potatoes and fixings using an enthralling dance. Bill Drath also made you a less than impressive sign to advertise both the Burger Master's death and the soft launch of the Sputfunkers franchise. I don't know. Afterwards, Jins brought the flash mob to the street, where you recruited funeral guests by dancing to MGMT's electric field.

Remember? You also made a tentative deal with the wine moms, Alinkum Mirabelle and Sorvia, to sell their wines at the event. And so, with decorations, food, customers, and of course a crib for your potativity scene, you three set out to the funeral event of the season. Once there, Father Donovic offered a brief sermon, Ismark and Marina said their farewells, and Jins kicked things up a notch with a heart-wrenching Nat-20 eulogy. slash advertisement. Hell yeah.

While everyone was reeling from Jin's passionate words, you heard a familiar voice, and then saw Reagan, your wellness advisor from the night lotus, step from the mist. He said his master wished to say a few words, then stepped aside as a massive black horsebone helicopter

materialized over the graveyard. The chopper landed, and the doors opened to reveal none other than the dread lord of Ravenloft himself, Count Straud von Zarevich. As soon as the vampire set foot on the ground. Jin stepped forward and shouted,

we would like to lodge a complaint. And that is where we are now. So Jins, after you shout that, you see Straud turns to you and grins, revealing two long, glistening fangs. A complaint. How novel. Who are you, by the way?

You should have me on the guest list. as a manager of a five-star hotel, the power went out in our yurt. My name is Jens Lindell, huh? I hold my hands out to everyone else, like, who is this guy? It might say Lumiere on the reservation. We're all staying in the same yurt.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's true. We sort of all have stolen credit cards, and we kind of shift who is stealing the credit cards. And it was my turn to steal. The stolen credit cards are not something you should be concerned with. you're getting the money okay get off our back is that why you turn the power off in our yurt yeah oh also it's in the name of a dead person not i didn't steal it okay yeah we didn't

steal it that's allowed yeah it didn't need it in hell yeah it was a bad person they were bad they were bad oh i take no umbrage with stealing from the dead oh so the trainneville triplets it is nice to finally meet you okay so you do have a dossier on us okay So you, yeah, you do check the manager logs. Why did you make us introduce ourselves? Oh, my gosh, that was a power play. You just got powerplayed, Jens. Welcome to the game, Jains.

Fuck. Jens kicks the ground. As you have probably guessed, I am Count Straub von Zaravich. It is a pleasure to meet you. Did you enjoy the gift basket? It was fine. We kind of forgot about it, to be honest.

we had other things that we were we were actually entrepreneurs now so yeah we're opening a rest you're making this funeral all about you and it's supposed to be all about us yeah i am quite aware of your potato plan my spies have told me much ismark how could you i attack ismars it is not me it's not me he speaks of you're going around our back to open a rival potato business oh that's not cool is mark Your eyes are so clouded by mist, it is adorable. No, I speak not of Ismark, but my small friends who live within the cracks and the creaking places.

You see he whistles and out of every nook and cranny and stone and roots, you see, swarms of rats, squeaking, pouring forth towards Strad. Okay, this is going to be a health code problem. We actually, this is a- This is a straw thing.

This is not a spudfuckers thing. I just want everyone to be clear. And this is a soft launch, not a hard launch. So there should be no health inspection. If there's a health inspector here, raise your hand. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Also, I think that the rats just also just have really good taste. Maybe. Is that where we're going? I mean, if they have cash, they can buy and fix it. Is that? We're pivoting that hard already. We're not going to try to deny the rats. Okay.

We're flooding several narratives and seeing what takes off. Okay. All right. The rats may or may not be part of it. If they aren't, then this isn't normal for sputfuckers. And if they are... They're either not our fault or they're welcome. Yeah.

We haven't decided yet. This is an animal rescue. And whichever you think is coolers, that is the ones that it is. Yeah. They've whispered much of your spodfuckers plans to me. God damn it. If you could perhaps put some green peas on the potatoes for them, they would like that very much. Okay, grassroots campaign or rat roots?

I don't like that idea at all. But who's managing this spudfuckers? Fuckers, Straj. We are getting off topic, though. We are not here to discuss business. We are here to pay respects to the late burgomaster. And of course, afterwards,

to take my dear Tatiana to safety. Us Tatiana. I haven't met Tatiana. Is that your ex? I look at every person in the audience and say, are you Tatiana? You, you're Tatiana? Are you Tatiana? Are you Tatiana? I think Marina is Tatiana would be my guess. I'm Nyack.

I found Tatiana. I point to Nyack. No. When he says Tatiana, he kind of glances towards Marina, and you see Ismark step in front of her and say, stay back. You have no place here. I will protect her. I will protect all of these people.

Oh, Ismark. Jenz also laughs. Yes. It's funny, right? It's a little funny. I don't like, you know what? I like Ismark more than you, to be honest, but go on. Hey, Ismark's all right.

Ismark, he truly is the lesser. Do you think you can protect her, Ismark? You are but the shadow of the man your father was. And even he could not protect your mother. Oh, sweet Alana. No, no, it is much too unsafe here. Tatiana, you must come to the castle with me so that you can be protected properly

from the unsavory elements that dwell here. Okay. so sorry, but I am going to have to step in. I am not going to let you come sweep in and try to take this beautiful girl who doesn't want to go with you because she doesn't even know who

her mother is and you could be siblings. That's true. You could be siblings. I cannot stand by. I have done countless genealogy test. They've done 23 and me. Okay, Marina, who is your mother? I

do not know my true mother. my adopted one, Alana. Okay, so I think that's ironclad. Is that what we're going with? Okay, Jens, again, float several narratives. Yeah, floats several narratives. Okay, so let's consider, you could be sibling. That's part of it.

You sicko. And the other thing, Straj, is that, look, you're coming in here, and I'll be honest, I don't like a lot of these people, is Mark Jerko. But Marina seems pretty cool And you're coming in here And you're calling her by your ex's name That's just So toxic

Come on, that's so toxic So toxic Yeah It's not toxic It is a blessing To see my Tatiana Reborn after all these years Every time I get together with someone

And I call them keys They are really turned off Rightfully so Yeah It will take time But she will come to understand Her place in all of this If you wish to research

your genealogy if you wish to know the truth about your true mother, Tatiana, you must come with me. Besides, as I've mentioned before, it is not safe here. Reagan, why don't

you show them just how unsafe it is? Go and fetch our special guest. Right away, boss. You see Reagan Misty steps away for a moment. And after a second, you hear a scream and see a vampire spawn burst from the church. Oh, dear.

He looks like a younger version of Donovich, but with white hair and a missing eye. He looks around, sees the table full of potatoes and fixens. Those aren't free. Picks one up, sniffs it, lets out a bestial scream, and flips over the entire display. Hey, that was good advertising on sales a flip. I don't want this shit. I'm fucking hungry. Real food!

No, this is real food. Potatoes are real food, okay? It's an appetizer at best! It is not an appetizer. You can put a hot dog in a potato. That's a vegan hot dog, everyone. Look, the rats are not regular. Vampires are not regular.

Again, this is a soft opening, everyone. You wouldn't take someone to a potato restaurant on the first date? It's got no potential! While this is happening, can I tackle Marina? And as I do, can I cast this guy's self to look like Marina? Oh, Honix. Like tackle so we are a mess of limbs and then when we stand up, we're to it.

I look as best to Saras again. Hell yeah. You can do that, but after you do that, everybody, roll initiative. Okay. 18. 22. Damn.

13. So as the battle begins, Onyx, you tackle Marina. I'll say that you tackle are like behind a gravestone or something like that, so you can got to get a little coverage to pull off this maneuver. You see Donovic and all of the villagers follow your lead and cower behind gravestones as well. Over by the entrance to the church, you see Doru breathing heavy, looking hungry and ravenous. And overhead, you see a few ravens dart through the mist.

They're croaking calls laced with something akin to pity for the wingless souls below. And first to act in the initiative is Onyx. Okay, I'm going to say Bluetooth, look alive. And I'm gonna, he can fly, so I'm gonna throw Marina into his arms. So he can try to fly her away. Yeah, so heavy, I don't want to. Bluetooth, God damn it. Bluetooth, you need the alpha mindset to carry her, okay?

Get him off those podcasts. You're right. Time to burst my tea. Yeah, yeah, time to moisturize with beef dalo. We're gonna get, we're gonna try some new podcasts. when you're done with this, but for now, yes, be the alpha dog.

I can't write to journal after this at four of them. Jen's shivers. I think that's fine. That's fine. Okay, so he's going to try and fly her away. Yeah. Okay.

So he's going to use his movement to get her 40 feet away. And then I'm going to do a taunting step, which is my Arch Faye Misty step, and creatures within five feet of the space I left must succeed a DC-15. or have disadvantage on attacks against creatures other than me until the start of my next turn. Awesome.

So you push Marina away. You see Bluetooth hunched under the weight of Marina, like, surfing on his iPad as he skims along the ground. It's already broken. Later. A little bit of the floor. So Straud's going to make a wisdom save. All right. That is a 17 without any modifier.

Okay. And then I still have an action. so I am going to Eldridge Blast him. Sick. 19 to hit. 19 hits. Ooh, okay. Just eight damage.

Jenz goes, Yeh. Honestly, it's eight out of ten. No, I'm more like the best I can do. Us fighting strad. E. Onyx. What does your Eldridge blast look like

now that you don't have like a weapon to focus it with? I think it gums out. Like, have you ever, like, touched a charger and it, like, sparks you a little bit? It's like that now, but it goes 120 feet. A tiny little buzz. Because I am a phone, but also I am Marina. You zap him.

Of course, the minute you zap him, he realizes that you're not the real Marina. No, but I zap him from far away. I zap him from far away. I missed and stepped away. You know what? Give me a deception check, yeah. Okay.

Time to create. Time to create. 14. Oh shit. Shout out to the two crew. I'll give you a meet, it beats it. He has a plus 12th of perception. Whoa.

But yeah, I'll give it to you. Okay, yeah. So he doesn't know who did that. Nice shot, Marina. Very clever. As he talks, he starts striding slowly towards where Bluetooth is taking Marina. Okay. And as he does, you see the small cut that your Eldred Smite left slowly starts to hear.

you'll back up. Oh, this spucker. Okay, we need to leave, everyone. Sputfuckers is moving locations. We're going to launch a GoFundMe for Spudfuckers because we lost a lot of money on this endeavor and you can help us out. Yeah, the rats were not our fault.

That's a Strage thing. If you two can get Marina out of here, I can try something to see if there is a type of magic that won't make him heal. Okay. Okay. I must say, I haven't properly thanked you for it is your power.

that gives me this extra little boost. It was very nice of you to make the donation when you passed through the mists. You stole our safe box stuff. You sucked up my jam points? Yes, it is quite good. It is bolstering like a cold plunge. Yeah, I mean, it's broken.

It was insane. It was so crazy. We were so powerful. So anyway, he is going to use his legendary action to move towards where Bluetooth and Marina are. And as he does, he kind of strides past, not knowing which one is Tatiana and which one is Onyx, but he says,

Oh, Onyx, I sense that something has changed since you passed through the mist. An ancient foe I have not sensed in the long time. The old mist is upon you. I will have my witches watch. very closely. Anex is so tempted to respond, but she cannot give up

the charade. Yeah, Anex, talk to him. I yell to the one with Bluetooth. Say something. God, she's so dumb. I sweat. As I look at the two vampires and the very unhelpful villagers.

Okay, so that brings us to Doro, still standing at the front of the church. He's kind of like panting with hunger. his eyes look distant and sunken and absolutely furious. He looks to the one marina and the other marina and says, Master, you forbid me from eating Marina, but which one is Annex? Which one is real? Annex really wants to talk again, but she does not.

Onyx say something. A clever trick they are playing. See if you can see through it, my friend. So Dory was going to make a, hmm, inside a. I suppose. To discern that you are disguised, a creature must take the study action to inspect your appearance and succeed on an investigation check against your spell save DC. Okay.

Study action. Sounds like someone can't use his claws. I don't want to study. Shit. That sounds so boring. I'm hungry. Come on. Study, dork.

I think that in the face of having to study and not eat something, his overwhelming hunger is going to kick in and he's just going to go for. Ismark, let's say. Okay. Okay. You can have him. No, stop. Don't.

And after that, if you have to go to Jerko, that's fine. What did I do to you? Just talked. Yeah, I do love to talk. I got the gift of gab outside. I sure do. That's what I need the alarm clock for so that I don't give for too long. Ismark still alive?

He got a 9 and an 11, which both of those miss Ismark. So you see he launches forward, but this guy, is very much blood-deprived. He tries to slash at Ismark, but Ismark, he's been training his whole life for this moment. He gets his sword up, blocks both of the claw marks. You hear like a loud scraping of nail

against steel, and they begin to fight, and the battle continues. That brings us to Jins. Sweets, I'm going to use a spell called Elf Shot. You pretend to shoot an arrow with a tiny bow. Make a range spell attack against a creature within range.

On a hit, the target creature stumbles, is pushed five feet in a random direction and its speed is zero until the end of its next turn. Until the spell ends, you can make the attack again on each of your turns as an action so it's like a concentration thing. So Jenz goes, the bow of my

people, I shall strike true. And then I just pull out the tiniest bow or just kind of like air guitar a tiny bow. So small. You just hear me go, as I shoot at Strad. 17 to hit. That hits.

Sick. Okay, all that happens is his speed is zero. Oh, shit. Good maneuver. Yeah. So that hits Strad, his speed is zero until the end of his next turn, and I can keep trying to shoot him. And then I'm going to, I guess, put some distance between me and Stratt, so I go, hop, hop, hop, and just back up a bit. And then I'm going to look at Nyack and say, do something, you idiot, and give him Barnac inspiration.

By being hard on me, very clever Jens. Perhaps you do have what it takes to be my vice president of development. What, vice president? I mean, I would prefer to be president, but you must work your way up. That's interesting. Ask about the bonus structure, brother. No, we don't need it. We're entrepreneurs.

We've had a bad soft launch, but that doesn't mean that we're not going to launch. Right, right. Nyack, do something. Thanks for the tough love, brother. So that's a D6 of inspiration because we suck now. Okay, well, shit. With that spell, you've essentially eliminated Stratt's ability to use legendary actions because they're all based on movement and contact.

Yeah. Pretty good. Nice. That does bring us to Strad. I think he's going to shout out to Reagan and say, Rahadine, bring forth both Tatyanas to me. We will sort this out one way or another. And that's going to be his free.

Action, and then let's see as his spell, he is going to, hmm. Well, I guess I'll try and lift this ability, maybe by killing Jens. Oh, no. He's going to cast Fireball on Jens. You're no match for my brother in his tiny little bow, Strage. Yeah. The bow, was it real? The bow is actually there.

I saw it. Did you? It's so small, you can't see it. It's so small. You think you can't see it, but it's there. Yes, this is given to me by Pixies. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. Great.

Okay, theoretically I'm good at this. Dirty 20. Wow. Okay, great. Suspect this will still kill me. No, I sink set taking F damage. You'd be surprised at a little HP I have in how much damage Fireball does. Okay.

You do pass. You see Strad smiling at you, standing in place, your tiny little arrows holding his feet stuck to the ground. He looks at you, pulls out a golden lighter, and a cigar, lights it, takes a big puff, and says, We could be partners, gins. Don't burn yourself. And then he exhales a huge flame of smoke directly at you for 15 damage. Okay, I'm at 6 HP.

Okay. Ah, I'm just smoldering. we take this off chain. I feel like we need to do this outside of my business partners. You're leaving a lot of power on the table.

I could grant you much, Gens Lindell. More than you have, more than you've ever wished for. And that is going to bring us to Reagan. Okay, so Reagan is also going to go ahead and make a investigation check.

Look at this nerd. He's studying in the middle of a fight. That's a Nat 20. No, smoking or studying in spudfuckers. So Reagan, I think as his bonus action, he's going to misty step onto the roof of the church so you can get a vantage point. And he studies both of you with keen elven eyes.

That one. That one's a fucking fake. So that is his action, but he has successfully pointed out to Strad which one of the marinas is real and which one is fake. He points to the one riding on Bluetooth and says, that's the real one.

She's trying to get the heck out of Strach. Sorry, it's catching on. Actually, I don't have a cell phone anymore, and I've never been more authentic. I actually need to roll a concentration check to see if I still have Elf shot up and I fail. So it is down. He would have had his movement back anyway, but normally I can use it again as an action. Now I can't. Onyx, as you say, I've never been more authentic.

Reagan laughs and says, yeah, authentically dumb. You're so fucking stupid. You fail for my fucking trip. I've got all your stuff. It rocks. Okay, well, then try to do. what I used to do on me. Use my fucking weapon on me.

Well, I actually... If you're so good, yeah, you can't wield it, can you? You haven't attuned to it yet, so I don't really know how it works. So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna use this fuckers. Who's stupid now? Yeah, you studied and climbed down the roof of a church. What do you want to read the Bible faster? You fucking loser?

I love studying, actually. Yeah, you love it. Oh my God. Awesome. He admitted it. You should have studied our weapons and used them against them. Oh, I know what he's doing. I know what he's on the church.

He wants to get married to studying. He wants to marry a book. Oh, my God. Who's guys are a fucking nerd? Oh, you're a bibliophile. I read like cool stuff, like outdoor articles about magazines in sports and cycling. I read articles about magazines. Holy shit.

I didn't know there were articles about magazines. This guy gets a magazine called Magazines Monthly. Can I borrow your library card so I can read the articles about magazines? I also love reading books about books. I'm sorry. We're all the hot magazines coming out. It's too many periodicals. Do you listen to any radio shows about podcast, Reagan?

I'm just curious. It just points me in the right direction, so I know which articles to read from the magazines that I like after I've read magazine, the magazine. He actually just wants to marry the idea of getting married to studying a fucking loser. You like the aesthetic, but you don't actually live the life. Suck my nuts. I'm going to shoot you with this guy's bow.

He points at Nyack and pulls out his beautiful blackwing bow. That's my bow. Nyack, you do see Reagan now perched on the roof. He has this beautiful bow. It looks like rushing toxic waves of dragon breath built out of this beautiful dark oak and wood. And he is crouched on the roof ready to strike on his next turn.

But it is your turn to act. Give me back my stuff. I'm going to bonus action cast Zephyr Strike to get advantage on this attack and do an extra D8. Okay. That is an 18 to hit. 18 just hits.

Since I hit him, I can add a D4. since he is now my favorite foe, and I'm going to make that extra attack that I get to do from being a dread ambusher. Sick. That's only a 16 that time. Okay, that one misses. Okay.

Yeah, I learned that from an article about dodging that I read in a book. About a magazine? Yeah, a book about a magazine. That's 22 damage. So, yeah, he's kind of taunting you, but you do manage to sink an arrow into his shoulder. Fuck, ah.

Luckily, I know lots of first aid from an article I read. I'm so fucking well-read. And that brings us to Ismark. Ismark, I'm going to tell him to drop her, so you might want to catch her. Actually, now that Stroud can move again, he's going to use another legendary action to just keep slowly walking towards where Marina and Bluetooth are. Oh, geez, he's doing the just cool walking thing. He doesn't even have to skip. Shit. Or run? Why would he skip? Tatiana. Tatiana, you know you'll be safe in the Ravenloft. Come with me. I will not force you.

just see that my charm is innocent let's see ismark is here he is going to run towards strad begone from here you devil i may be a lesser man but i will give you all i have for the people of this village i have post goon clarity no ismark you almost jeez man you almost had it god damn that was almost a cool speech god damn dude so i will say um because of all of the preparations and and the speech you gave, I am going to give Ismark and Marina a temporary bless based on how well you did. The breakdown right here for you,

you got a plus zero from Bildrath's sign. You got plus two from the villages you gathered. You got plus two from your speech gens and you got plus one from the now destroyed potato display. So Ismark is gonna get a plus five to hit on this. Okay. All three of these are gonna hit. Hell yeah. So he strikes Straud with a sense of

Focus and justice, and for a moment you see a greater man standing before you for 17 damage. Bam. You see Strad laughs as the wound starts to slowly close, mist kind of seeping out of it as it does. I'm impressed, is Mark. You have grown greatly since I began to monitor you and Tatiana, but it will not be enough. And that is going to bring us to Keychain's turn. Keychains here. Hello, I'm here.

Hi. Sick. Sick him. Help. Help. Keychain, I'm so hurt. I'm smoldering. Keychain is going to roll his three potions for the day.

Okay. Let's see what we got. One is a potion of healing. Two is swiftness. And six is alter self. Okay. Healing. Healing.

Which one do you want? Healing. Healing. You see his head like jolts up like a Pez dispenser and three barrels appear on his neck. Here I come. Pick your favorite. Healing. Okay, he is going to heal you for 2D8 plus three.

Nice. He heals me for 13. Nice. All right. Brings me to 19. I definitely can't get shot with another fireball. He sits down, wags his tail, and kind of waits for you to pet him. I pat him on the head.

Good dog. Woof, woof. Wash your hands, brother. All right. Knock, knock it off. That's keychain's turn. Next up, we have the health. Helicopter.

Oh, what? The helicopter. You see the helicopter nays loudly. Its rotor spins slowly like a horse impatiently waiting to be ridden, and it is going to ready in action to take off as soon as its passengers are loaded in. Huh. And then that is going to bring us to the rats. Jens, are you still standing kind of near where Donovich is near the grave plot?

Yeah, I think, well, I try to move back a bit, but I think I wouldn't have been able to get that far away. Yeah, you're like generally in that area? Yeah. Great. So the two swarms of rats are going to try and drag you into the Berger Master's grave. What the fuck? You little rats are awful. I get why they call bad people rats.

You are truly little rats, and I mean that. They are sweet. They're not sweet. They're bad rats. I take them pee-fishing once a week. Yeah. So this is going to be two contested strength checks. Oh, good God.

All right. They have negative one, though. All right. Well, I don't have much better than that. All right. That's going to be an eight for the first one. Cool, I fail, six. Great.

I plus zero. Start wrestling with like two. I just have my hands on their tiny hands. You brutes, they want your tiny bow. This swarm of rats pushes you into the Burger Master's grave. You take five damage from falling in. Ow! And since you're already in there, the other swarm is going to go for Onyx.

Let's see here. That's a 10 to hit. Misses! Great. Okay. They swarm around you, but they start doing like a little, like, dance, kind of like, you know, puppets you'd see in like an old-timey taxidermy show. Oh.

It's a flash mob. Um, I guess I dance along. I have time. What? They're not our friends. These are bad rats. These are so cute. They push me to a grave.

You should start in a Pixar movie, each of you. This is a different swarm of rats. They didn't push you. True. These ones are cool. Okay. I get a good swarm. You got the good swarm?

Why did you get the good swarm? They sense the old mist in her. Yeah. I've got old mist. It's a cologne. You get dancing rats and I get rats that push you into graves. So we're down to the bottom of the order. It is Marina's turn.

You sent Marina 40 feet away on Bluetooth? Yeah. Great. So she's going to go 30 more feet. Now that Dora was moved, she's going to go into the church. Yes, I was going to say, we need to get inside. They can't come in places. Oh, that's a really good idea.

Yeah. Okay, so yes, she is going to go inside. and just kind of like hide behind the altar there. And then Strad is going to pursue her basically right up to the threshold and say, I've waited long enough, Tatiana. I can't continue to wait. Oh, you're such a creep.

You're so problematic. You don't know what we have. You're gross. You're being gross, Strudge. You're being gross right now. You need to go on something like Love Island and learn manners. You need to learn manners from a reality show. You're giving her the ick.

Yeah. You have bad chat. You have really bad chat, Strudge. I say covered in rats in a grave, shaking my head. You disgust me. Perhaps I will spend a hundred years watching Love Island, and then I will be the master of chat. I have nothing but time, my friend.

No, you have to go on to the show and get humbled by the audience. Perhaps that is the wager we shall make. Okay. If you defeat me, I shall go on Love Island. Okay. Okay. Jen shudders thinking about how well Stragg would do on Love Island. Actually, no.

Yeah, you're actually right. So, that brings us back to the top of the order. Onyx, that is you again. Okay, Onyx is going to run out, and she's going to scream, The Morning Lord, it speaks through me! And I'm going to hold up my picture of the silver nipple. Please go inside. And cast, or not cast, and use radiant consumption.

Once per long rest, that's an action. You can radiate bright light in a 10-foot radius and dim light for 20 feet for one minute. And then at the end of my turn, creatures will take radiant damage. And then I'm going to, as a bonus action, Misty step onto into the helicopter. Oh, hell yeah. And ideally try to drive it so that I can be within 10. feet of Stroud to see if my two radiant damage affects him or not. Amazing turn.

Okay, so you're trying to get Strug with your radiant consumption? Yeah, it's really just too radiant damage if I'm able to steer the helicopter there. I just want to see if he heals from it or not. I gotcha. Okay. So you, Misty step into the helicopter. Once you're in there, you're surprised to find that it's less like the inside of a standard helicopter and more like the inside of a horse.

You see organs and flesh. Onix, may I have a ride? Onyx pick me up, may I have a ride? I wretch out the size. And you hear kind of a ephemeral. That's a lot of horsepower. I'm just going to say, go to strad, but pick up Nyak first. Go ahead and give me.

Animal handling? Yeah, it's going to be animal handling. Six. With a six, the helicopter. You see the flaming propellers on top flare to life and it goes and it starts bucking. Oh, no. This is so bad. And on its turn, it's going to try and buck you out of the helicopter.

Oh, good God. Great. That is, is that your turn? Yeah, at the end of the turn, me and the helicopter each take two radiant damage. Can I see, does it look like the helicopter takes that radiant damage or does it have any of that healing? It does take the radiant damage. Okay, okay. And I'll say, what's the range on the radiant damage?

It's 10 feet. 10 feet? I'll say you can get Doru too. Okay, yeah. I'll get Doru. You see, this like blast emanates as you missy Steffendor goes, Oh, I just want to the fucking snack. Doro is kind of cool.

You just have to pay for the fixes. Jen says, I love Doru. Duru's so funny. He was living under a mannequin, which if you think about it, a mannequin is like a doll for bigger people. Oh, we get to do. Take a picture of Doru and be like, this is what you look like if you eat meat.

Come to spudfuckers. Duru can be like our eat more chicken cow. Yeah, okay. That's awesome, I say, covered in rats. And also, I'm just going to have Bluetooth cast invisibility on himself. Oh, great. Okay, cool. Did Bluetooth go in the church as well?

Yeah. Okay, great. And now Dora knows which Marine is real and which one's Onyx. He is going to continue pursuing Onyx. You took my eye. I have to live the rest of my eternal life without that. That was my favorite eye! I just said I liked you.

I liked you. Is that a joke? Is that a fucking joke about me missing an eye? No! I was not supposed to know that you couldn't handle a little bit of Holy Water. Okay? Do you know that that's actually weird of you? It's weird of me?

Yeah, it's weird of you. You have to tell someone if you're a vampire. You have to. You should have said, I'm a vampire. Don't pour Oliwater. down here. Okay, look, you're hanging out with Strad and he's super problematic. Yeah. He would get eliminated from Love Island so quickly. I just, I want to eat you. Is that problematic? Because that's what I want to do. I want to

eat you like a baked potato. That's kind of cute. It's cute. It's kind of cute. How is it cute? You have to ask on it's, I don't know. Baked potato aspect. Saying I want to eat you like a potato. Okay. I don't know. It's kind of cute. I can see it in like a doo-op song of something. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe like a really dirty rap lyric. I think it could work for you, though, strangely. Potato, yeah.

Look, Dura, we'll get you in the studio. Well, we can turn you around. Strat promised that I could spit some bars in Castle Ravenloft after this. Oh, he would. He's made a lot of promises to me. He said, all I have to do is kill everyone here, and he can take Marina back, and then I would get to hang out with him,

and he's got a basketball court, and I can practice dunking, because I can do spider climbs now. Honestly, a friend saying, come over and dunk on me is so fun. I see why you got to recruit it. Look, that's absolutely rad, Duru, but think about it. If you kill everyone, who's going to buy your CD? Huh?

Other vampires? Fair, but it doesn't seem like there's that many. No, we'll just take everyone vampires and then they buy my CD. Do you already ask yourselves this question? You were so quick with an answer. I had a lot of time to think in the undercroft while I was just sitting there eating the rats that straw was feeding me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so you guys are kind of creating your own. customers this is interesting yeah you know it's it's always good to just talk with other business people and kind of share stories and blue sky anyway um you have you have an audience right here do doro do you want to spit some bars i'll give you a beat doro okay yeah give me the beat i want to suck your freaking blood i am having fun everything is good what do you think good in blood look like they rhyme they look like they rhyme i'll give you that so i think you probably wrote down, but you didn't say it out loud. And now you have.

So now you know not to do that again. You could have rhymed blood with Spud. Okay, so maybe I'll just kill all of the people that are criticizing me, and then I'll get the better report. Exactly. I heard Jerko talking some shit. Jerko didn't like, Jerko wasn't dancing. Doru is going to sprint over to the helicopter and fling himself in after you.

It's going to be two attacks. Okay. So the first is going to be a claw attack for 11 to hit. Misses. Misses. Okay, he cannot bite, so he's going to make another claw attack. Fuck, shout it to the two crew. Nice.

You see how Doro, like, tries to swipe at you, but again, he's just so hungry. He's envisioning you as, like, a baked potato with, like, a hot dog coming out of it. Erotic. That's going to be Jen's turn. Okay, I look at the situation. I'm in a hole right now covered in. rats. Jen, now is not too time for a nap.

I know we are on vacation. It's just a little rat nap. Okay, we need to get the fuck out of here. I'm going to open up the Burger Master's casket and just wopped my hand and go, do not go in there. And then, assuming there is enough religious sigelry that it would be tough for, Strad or any other vampires to get inside. I'm going to hop into the burger master's

casket with him. And I'm going to yell to Ismark. Ismark, do you have a death wish, you idiot? Get in here! Come with me if you want to live. No. There would be a coward's move to lie in my father's coffin while people die? Who's dying? We're all fighting. Everyone needs to run away.

How will you run away if you're in a coffin? Because there's enough religious stuff that he can't get to us. Sir? I don't know. He was carving that freaking flower all day. Don't you think that Doro could just, like, pick up the coffin and they dump it over? He can't pick up a coffin. It's heavy as hell.

Dora is pretty faint. He's pretty stringy. He's been doing a lot of push-ups. All right. I'm sorry that I thought you were cool for a second, is Mark, and I closed the casket. That's a very exclusive room at Spudfuckers. You know, technically, I guess you're inside a residence now. It's the Burger Master's house, I say, from inside the casket.

And I guess I'll hold, hold her reaction to if anyone can get around the, this is the Burger Master's house now rule. I'm just going to burst out and run. Okay, Jen's hiding inside a coffin. Yeah. Currently as it stands, Strad is right next to Marina. Yeah. I don't think there's anyone. She is protected into church.

So, okay, Jens, I am going to make a plan to run, then. We, Jens opens up the casket. Does anyone think we can beat this guy? right now. Am I nuts here? I plan on running. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to run to... He blew a cigar at me and almost died. But this vampire spawn, he will wreak havoc about

the village. You cannot leave now. He will kill him after Strad leaves. He's not going to stick around. He's got stuff to do. He's a record producer. I am a busy man, Jens. I have many jobs and tasks. I could use a helping hand. He looks at you. I get back in the casket and fold my arms.

I pick the fucking rocks. side. Strad sees that he can't do anything to Marina currently, so he can't really use any of his legendary actions. There's no one close enough for him to strike. So he's just going to wait patiently until his turn, which is now. Oh, no. He's going to try and charm Marina.

Eep. So again, Marina has a plus five, plus her normal plus two to wisdom. So this is going to be a plus seven. Strad is going to try and cast this. He has a DC-18. She got an 18. Yeah. Okay.

you see strad like reaches out of hand and says Tatiana please these people they're not Ravenloft material come with me we have much to discuss awkward desperate not going to respond to that

no one can save you except for me Sergei thought he could save you but he was a fool I am the only one that can preserve you for eternity come try being self-deprecating dude

There is no need to peacock When you are already at the top Oh shit We're stealing that That is so true actually One of a Bluetooth podcast says that I think I'd listen to this guy Strudge were you on Roken

Okay that's going to bring us to Raken who's still perched on the roof I think he's just going to enter a sniping battle With Nyack here He's going to fire two arrows at you Cheating From your bow My bow would never hit me

We'll see about that Strike you All right, that's a Nat 1 on his first attempt Fuck, this thing's really heavy Yeah, you don't know how to use it But you got a 16 on the next one So that is going to be 26 to hit Yeah, that hits

And then that's going to be 14 damage And then four poison damage You see this arrow Laced with this glowing green poison Strikes right into your chest Yeah, fucking got him Was it that good when I I had it.

I pop out of the casket again. Does everyone remember when the fortune teller told us we needed all of this help to fight this guy? Everyone remembers that? An hour ago? Cool. Yeah, I'm not going to have time to run, Jens, because I'll be dead. You already started shooting him. I get back in the casket.

So, Nyack, you have just taken this hit from one of your own arrows. You're feeling humiliated, but it is your turn. What would you like to do? I am going to run like hell to get to the. the church. And before I go in, can I take an action and do a arranged attack? Absolutely. Go ahead. I'd also like to do one thing for flavor unless it's awesome. I'm going to jump barrel roll and smash one of my nesting dolls on the ground. And see if it releases a little goblin that fights alongside. Nayak, we just bought that. What the fuck? They were so expensive.

What? What? Nyack, as you crack this nesting doll, you get a vision of a toy maker with a pet monkey perched on his shoulder. Pick a lo. You hear him saying, well, it's taken me 42 days, but I finally finished the nesting dolls. I hope everyone likes them as much as I did. And then he kisses his monkey on the lips. And then you're back.

And all you see is a broken nesting doll. You bastard. I should be kissing that monkey. And I will take my attack. I'll shoot this at Dauru, I guess. Okay, great. That's a 25 to hit. Fucking hits.

16 damage. 16 damage? Sick. All right. You see Doro like tries to heal himself, but these arrows just sink in. And sort of this like dusty mist pours out of them. Ah, this sucks.

Okay, we need more radiant damage. And then I say, excuse me, Strage, as I go into the door, the church. Okay, so, Nyak, you try to wriggle past Strad and into the church, and as you do, he is going to take his reaction. Now, he could make an attack of opportunity here, but instead, he's going to make an offer of opportunity. He places a clawed finger on your shoulder and whispers. They do not respect you, Nayak.

They tread on you As if you were nothing more than a shadow But with my help You can stand above them I can give you the power you need To be the true alpha You are always meant to be Think about it

And then he releases his hand And lets you enter You drew blood It's what I do Okay you're gonna go into the church now Yeah, Nyack shudders and steps backward into the church looking up into the distance. Tell Marina to, like, cover her ears and her eyes and, like, hide in the back of the church because I feel like this charm thing is really going to work against us at some point.

That's a really good call. Bluetooth, put your earbuds into Marina's ears. But don't listen to any podcast with Strad, Junet, because that will just undo it. Yeah, yeah. You see, now it is Ismark's turn. I think Strad is just going to stay where he is. He's single-handedly focused on trying to charm Marina. You see that Ismark is going to move in front of him

and try to block his entrance to the church. And it just says, back devil, I will never let you take her. Oh, you simple boy. I shall have what I want. And he's going to take three attacks on Strad. Listen, Ismark, we talked to the fortune teller and she was all like there's other people that you need to talk to and stuff. I don't know that you're where you need to be.

Yeah, we might want to run. She said we needed help, and you didn't come up, is Mark. Yeah, you didn't come up, like, at all. I mean, you came up, but, like, you weren't the answer. This is cool, but I, yeah, just careful there, huh? You see, he's breathing kind of heavy. Don't be a hero because you can't be, even if you try. So all three of these are going to hit.

Damn. All right. He just kills Straud. That's 14 more damage. All right. You see, once more. he like gets a really good slashing across Stroud's face. Strad doesn't even flinch.

You see it seals up again, a little bit of this glowing mist pours out as it does. Oh, my young friend, I was content to let you live as a gift to Tatiana. But unfortunately, you have forced my hand. And he is going to use a legendary action to strike Ismark. Let me roll that real quick. Yep.

He's a plus 9 to hit here. Yikes. 17 meets it, beats it. Ismark is going to take 21 damage. Jesus. Wow. You see Ismark his leather doublet like hanging in half now looks back to you and says, this is a fight without hope.

I will make the last stand. Just get to safety. Get to safety now. Take Marina and go. All right. Typically we don't like taking orders But when you say it like that All right, all right

And that's going to be used to keychain Does anyone need healing Or perhaps a swiftness potion Oh, I have 2 HP Oh, okay, healing potion, yeah, too Nyak But I'm in the church We could do swiftness potion to Marina And let's get the fuck out of here

Oh, okay, that's good too Ismark is toast Really? Yeah, I think he's toast Have you ever seen the Sleepy Hollow movie? Yeah Really? Oh, it's actually pretty fun Well, anyway, there's a guy who, like, fights the headless horseman on a bridge.

He's pretty cool. Ismark is giving those vibes right now. I see, yeah. That guy gets chopped in half. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, no. Ismark, we will long tell your tale of how you gooned in our overnight oats. And they gave you strength.

No, we're going to leave that out. You know what, Is Mark, this is cool. We're going to leave that part out. In fact, I gooned in the oats. No, I gooned in the oats. We all gooned in the oats. Even you. I pointed the entire.

audience. You all gund in the Ux. She's breaking the fourth wall. Stop that. Okay, great. That's keychain's turn. He falls to all fours and bolts through the door of the church. Straud already used his reaction to talk to Nyak, so he's going to be able to pass through undisturbed. He then gives Marina this swiftness potion, which is going to give her 10 extra feet of movement for the next hour. Cool. And that brings us to the helicopter. You see, Strzraught points to it and says, bocephalus, my beautiful heliclopper, expel your cargo. Shit. And he is going to try and shake you out.

Okay. You see the helicopter rears up and it's going to try and essentially tilt you out of it. Go ahead and give me a dexterity saving throw. Okay. Isn't my guy in here with me, too? Doru. Doru is in there, yeah. Okay.

So Doru will make one as well. 16. 16? Great. Yeah. I think you managed to hang on. I'm going to roll for Doroo, DC-15, Dora got a 13, he falls out. No!

I kick him out. I step on his hand as he's clinging to it. I just wanted to eat your whole leg. I am Tom Cruise. That's not as cute as the potato thing. Yeah, baked potato is cute and sexy. I wanted to pop you in my mouth like a tater tot? No.

Damn it, I lost it. You lost it. You had it, dude. You had it all. You added it. second guess that you lost it. Be yourself. And that's going to bring us back to the rats.

I guess they'll go. Gin's, you're still in the coffin. I'm in the coffin. But he closed the door. He closed the door. So I guess they'll both attack Nyack. No, he's in the church. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. Well, the rats can go in the church. They don't care. Oh, true. Oh, no. But they got two five, so they miss. You can see the rats. Again, they just keep dancing.

Oh, you're the cool rats. Let's dance. Why does everyone else get the cool rats? You have to go. time with the rats, too. Niagara does the jelly roll. I had such a good time with the rats. Bud fuckers.

Whoa, holy shit. Mascots. Maybe around to something. Okay, that brings us to Marina. She says, we must wait for everyone else. We cannot leave yet. We cannot run. What have they been doing on their turns?

Yeah, she just like shouts encouraging words to Ismark. She says, Ismar, no, don't be a fool. Come. No, Marina, I now see this is my place. we all gooned in the oats but I will make sure

there are oats for another day I just feel like you're going to regret these being your last words Yeah They shouldn't be so They shouldn't be so Oat and Goon-based

Yeah Okay That brings us back around to Onix You are still in the heliclopper Okay so I am going to shout to Bluetooth Put the AirPods in Marina Okay

So Bluetooth is invisible So he's going to run out invisibly and then try to invisibly sting d'orou. Sting. Yeah, that's what his ability is. Okay, he got a 15. He gets it. He gets?

Okay. This will also be good intel because we'll find out if they can be poisoned or not. Okay. He takes four piercing damage and eight poison damage. Whoa. And then also three radiant damage. So all of this is working,

on Dauru. Yeah. You see the sting hit them. Oh, fuck. Oh, what the hell was that? And then Bluetooth will run back into the church. Oh, come out of being invisible when he attacks. Oh, shit.

You're right. Okay, so then he's no longer invisible. Shit. We might lose Bluetooth. Oh, no. He starts celebrating the little dance. Stung your ass. Oh, what's that?

Go back into church. Go back to church. Oh, yeah. Looks like you got limp and place. bounce on their butt. But now he is revealed. Oh, no. Everyone can see you

when you're fucking adorable. Okay, so he's running back to the church. Yeah, yeah. Cool. Door's going to take a swipe at him with opportunity. Okay. That's an 18.

Yikes. Okay, is that hits? What kind of damage? Go back to the church, even if you're hurt. As a boy, mom, it's so important for your children to go to church.

He takes tin slashing damage with the claws. He still stands. Yes, no. Bluetooth. Still stands. Okay, and so then I'm going to jump out of the hella clopper. And then I'm going to run to the church, but as I do, I'm going to toss the holy water to Ismark. Ooh, okay.

I'm going to dive through the window of the church. Once again, tackling Marina. And once we get to the ground, I'm going to say, stay down. And then I'm going to silent image Marina leaving the side door on the other side of the church. and show, I'm in a silent imageer to look as if the charm worked. Through the window, you see Straw kind of like raises an eyebrow and says, ah, taking the long way around. I am no stranger to that.

I think he's like thinking more about Love Island and being like, maybe I could be a contestant. That's awesome. On his turn, he will do an investigation to see if it's the real marine or not, but that is going to bring us. A study action, got you. But that's going to bring us to Jins. Oh, boy.

Okay. I pop out of the caskets and I look at Jerko and the crew. All right, let's get inside the church, huh? Right? I don't know. I'll kind of lock it out here. No, you don't. And then how hurt is Duru looking? He is looking a little ragged, but he looks like he could keep fighting. Great. I'm just going to yell at everyone to get inside the church. Okay, great. Okay, yes, inside the church. That's the plan. Great. I'll say all the villagers and Donovitch are going to follow you. into the church at the end of your turn. Great. And then I guess I'll try to climb out and get to the church myself.

I will say that Strad is still standing in front of the door. So unless you want to take the long way around, which will be more than 30 feet, you're going to need to go through him and take an opportunity. I have a dash. I'll just dash the long way around, yeah. Great.

Okay, you're going to dash the long way around. We'll say that there are two doors to the church leading out to the graveyard. Great, you take the long way around. Perfect. So that is back to Strad. is going to use the study action to... Loser.

Discern whether this second marina he's seeing is the real one or not. Wow. Okay, he's rolling really bad, but he has good stats. That's just an eight. That doesn't get it. He's got...

It had to be 15. Wow. So I guess he starts walking towards the other marina that he sees on the other side. Yeah, you see he just kind of starts like doing this like slow walking stride he's been doing.

So cool. So cool. So desperate. And then... That is going to bring us to Reagan, who is still up on the roof. Reagan, I think, is going to call down to Strad and say, I know that you can't go in, but Alucan, want me to see what the party's like. He's not a vampire, and he's going to jump down and then misty step inside the church as his bonus action.

And then he's going to take aim at Nyack again. Oh, not with my bow. Come on. Reagan, you and me are cool, right? I thought you was some sort of great hunter. You fire at me, I fire at you. The article stuff was all in good fun. Rivals goat each other. They don't kill each other.

We each make one another better. Don't you see, Reagan? It's a 20 and a 24. I'm dead. I'm gone. That's just a hit. Nyack has two HP. Oh, yeah, then you're dead.

Yeah. Um, yeah, his first attack hits you for 13 damage, so you drop before he can even fire the second arrow. Oh. Then you see Reagan standing above you grins, aims, and releases the second attack, and you are going to take an automatic death save fail. Oh. No. No. You've got after the, the weakest and most subservient of us. And while he, you've killed. my half-brother as he has, Nyak is still breathing.

If Nyak goes, we will be twins. Jen shudders. I crumble to the ground, reaching out weekly for comfort from Bluetooth. I pull Bluetooth away out of Nyak's reach. My fingers go limp. Nyack, as you reach out for Bluetooth, you see Reagan walks over and steps directly on your chest.

Ow! You wince in pain and your vision starts to blur. And as your blood pools on the cold stone floor, the mist elf chuckles. He runs a finger along the side of your bow and says, We hope you've enjoyed your stay at the night lotus, but I think it's time you checked out. And that's where we'll end our session. This is the worst vacation of my life.

Don't study me. Nyack needs his blood. We've established this. I love my blood. Finally, the wamping has come. I thought he was a vampire. You can listen to us talk more about this over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Nadpod.

That's NADD-D-P-O-D don't sing yet. Don't you dare do it. Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? No-uh. We've got a Dimension 28 Live show coming up in Vegas in November, so search Dimension 20 Live and get your ticket to that. We're doing Star Sh. Starstrat.

Starstrat. Jake? Check out my substack. Yeah. At Jake Hurwitz over on Substack. Check it out. Right on. Gorgeous.

And in the meantime, you can follow us on social media. They may or may not use. At C.H. First, me at Caldy Skaldwell. Addie asked for Demily and at your gorgeous Jake. And you could talk about the show online using hashtag NatPod. That's NADD-D-D-P-O-D. We are, we are the youth of the nation. We are, we are, we are, the youth of the nation.

So, you know, I'm going to be able to be able to be. Thank you. It's the end of the show, everybody, and I need to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord. Later McSgater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T, A.k.k.a., B., B., J.M., Traylay the Cray, Christopher B, Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Targott, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuker, the NBDM, Ph.D., Princess Yarr, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohumia, Mike H, Alka Smelzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F, Carbro, Chapel Hill FPV, C, Coole Loo, Bald Burn,

Hercule Poirot, The Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R, Jake's Jerk Jelly, hashtag CCC, CASE, Skateboard, Stephen Bowie is Seattle's hockey mascot, U, C, I guess we've mentioned Seattle's hockey mascot at some point. Like K. Nick W., William W., Big Bad, Beardo the Mad, Eric McDee, and Anorama, Percival Frederick Stein, Von Musil, Klosowski-Day Rolo the 3rd, Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock. Impressive Dongle, Ben A, Dave H., Dustin I, Not That Nick, Danny F, Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfar's assistant ICF, Big Bad John, DPC is awesome, Sean, the Shade Tree Mechanic of Zebel Dar, Summer Rose, AKA, Grand Terre, Mark the Dark Lord's Taint, Cat C, Misa of House and Zunza, Ariel, The Occasional Mermaid, Selina N, aka Valley C Raptor, B. Perky Always, Pat L, Lauren H, serve 16, Annie the Faywild therapist, Parogi Frenzy, Salil, Bioquard 7, Amber Dextris, Bean Rat was Innocent, Trubb Hopdropper, Jack H, King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way

through a bracket-style tournament. Valin, Podge, the bitch and bunny bard, druidic Peyton, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock, James G, everything bago, the Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger, Stripey, Reverend Chatterbones, Han, Eric B, Marcos, PhD, eventually, learns the balanced druid, Frida M, Maggie, Holly the Green Laughing Haina, Cal and her cats, Portland, Star, and Berlin, Aaron B, Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, yes, the whole thing, yes every time, Cody C, Lorelei the succubi and Kyra the succulent snack, McKenna Stout, your friendly neighborhood yaunt and uncle, Andrew and Sid, soon-to-be education specialist, John Adams, Meg the Mail Carrier of Bohumia, James F, Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls, get rid of them, turn to page 42, keep them, turn to page 69. Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard Barian, Garrett G, one big curd, Charlie Brown's best friend,

Renee the Monster Captain, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the soap opera cleric are now performing ballads from the age of stories. Blue Ash, Fico, Garrett the Artifacer, Anthony, the raddest of dudes, Jay, the fairies have returned to debauchery and must now go to the carnal corner, Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, No-Drog, the pass-of-fist, Barbarian, Jean-Luca, Shenanagan's O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Sky the Wise, aka the lone dungeon master, Johnny Dudke, The Mischief of Nat Pod's Familiers, Pavu Escanar, the Golith Paladin providing service with a smile. Kit and their cat, Jake Well Murfley, Tim M, Dragon Night 86, Tiles, L, T.R. MLG. Cheeto. Shale B. Kennes' first favorite Sprite girl. Very cool to honor Beardsley's baby with a quangle.

Loved seeing y'all in my hometown. We were happy to be there, Shelby. Jet S. Snailis, who's infecting Worcester from within. Vegan Roll by Taylor. Jared and Olivia, who want a Nadpod cookbook. Memaw Sky Days, Megan N. Anthony B. Ballnor's best friend, Steve.

Stephanie of House and Zunza. Benjamin A. Gimley the Corgi, Pop-on Foster's K-9 friend McKell A, Josh H, pilot of the Nightmareverse flight, the two crew blew through, Kelsey A, Ethan the Mailman, Maple the shy

bookworm, ashesaurus, Seth the Stroker, bearer of all hog-related burdens, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes, Michael L.S. the second, Carl B, Plummer of the Realm, Dex Rittlewell,

Ace Dregs, High Lord of Critsberg, Vin Diagram, Catamilius the Consumed, Clinton P, Cam, the Vampire Frogman, Dean, Jake W says, Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, only here for the surf and mirth, Dave, NatPod saved my life but stole my wife, O, Steve L, Tyler McEm, Alex G, Zibitabackery, Kaylee, Katarina C, Misty, the Krispy Kitty really hates flamesculls, Greg W, there's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you. Thanks, Greg W. Baruch Thunderhelm, Fifth Generation Minotaur, working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide,

Chupac Aubrey, Boney is Dead, The Waterworth, Nick, Amy, Agus Kunari, Ignition Class Petal Storm, Charlemagne, Not the God, DJ Drama Mean, Alric Von Zarevich, my favorite patron makes me say penis on my show, Chef Julie B, Jen the Rowdy, Caitlin H, and finally, buttwax.

Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back next week. with another episode. If you want to listen to more, we've got our short rest over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash Nadpod. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, our Benevolent Council of Elders. We'll catch you all next time. That was a hate gum podcast.