Not Another D&D Podcast - Trinyvale X Strahd - Ep.14: Burned Out

Episode Date: October 31, 2025

Beset by peril on all sides, the Triplets attempt a daring escape. Jens shoots like an elf, Onyx expands the family and Nyack gets the cold shoulder as the Trinyvale X Strahd crossover continues! Get the NaddPod Fan Calendar here! (available November 1st) - https://linktr.ee/naddcalendarCREDITSEditing by Brian MurphyProduction and Sound Design by Daniel Ramos (@Schubirds on IG)Logo Design by Chelsea LeCompteMUSIC INCLUDES:"Trinyvale Opening Theme" by Emily Axford"A Memorable Feast" by Emily Axford"Barovian Tango" by Emily Axford"A Hunkle's Plea" by Emily Axford"Oh Melora" by Emily Axford"The Little Moon" by Emily Axford"The Tarroka Suite" by Emily Axford"Strahd" by Emily Axford"Lights Out" by Emily Axford"Moonsick" by Emily Axford"The Journey of the Three" by Jens Christian Tvilum "Trinyvale Closiing Theme" by Emily AxfordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.combe. This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to Trinnavale. Trinnavale. And also Barovia. Barovia. That was a nice one, y'all. I'm going to make that my ringtone and turn it out. on full volume in a movie theater. There you go. Hello there, folks. I am your Dracula uncle, aka Drunkle Caldwell Tanner,

and I'm joined as always by my pious players, Brian Murphy. Trying to dodge, Strage, Jens Lindell. Right on. Time to get the heck out of Strage. We got Emily Axford here. Getting bored of being the morning,

Lord, so I'm back to being unexlimier. There we go. It's a lot of work being a god of all people. And J. Kerwitz. Making them sweat inside my net, Nyack of the Rannifer. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, but it's not just yours. Shared.

True. It's a shared net. I found it, Onyx. Okay. Now, guys, before I fling you into the vampire tire fire, how about a quick recap? Let's do it. I love it. Great. So, when last we met, you three had just tossed barrels of Alchemist fire and ignited a fireball spell scroll right in the face of the Abbot of St.

Markovia, as well as his lobster man henchman, Gorek, and his corpse bride creation, Vasilka. Before anyone could act, though, the shadow assassin Stefan Urquil appeared and quickly finished off Gorek. The abbot flew into a rage, but it was quickly quelled when he saw Onyx disguised as the morning lord. Obey me. He kind of did.

After passing a high deception check, the abbot was fooled into thinking that his god had returned and sought to serve you by fetching Esmeralda from the basement and the werewolf pup from the belfry. Upon returning, Nyack caught the abbot in the net he stole from the guards outside. Damn right. As the fires continued to rage, the abbot came to his senses and saw through Onyx's deception. He summoned a swarm of zuminoid and the battle began. Before he could act, though, the Were Ravens and Grigory of the Dong Squad, escorted Esmirelda and the Werewolf Pup,

who told you his name was Chompostoyanovich out of the Flaming Abbey. Vasilka then entered bride zilla mode and demanded something old from onyx after kidding her wedding dress revealing some lacy lingerie underneath i believe whoa complex so embarrassing it feels like this was planned the silka pummeled the abbot you all joined in the pummeling including marina who removed her donkey mask to deliver a main character monologue it is her story you can have some story too but yes thank you It's just a different book. That no one is reading. Upon seeing her face,

the abbot realized that she was the daughter of Demira that he had lost all those years ago. It seems his initial plan was to use the reincarnated soul of Tachiana to power his corpse bride. But his plan was ruined when Alana rescued her. He pulled out a strange needle apparatus and prepared to attack Marina.

But before he could, he was struck down by gins. Yeah. With shimmering blood. That's the enthusiasm. hasn't we want. With shimmering blood pouring out of his wounds, the abbot then revealed his true form as an angel, sent by the morning lord to watch over Borovia.

Of course, no one was surprised by this, as you totally all saw it coming. We knew he was an angel. I clocked that. And so too. And so, after dodging powerful attacks from the zumnoids and abbot and providing Vasilka with a new vase

to hold her wedding flowers, Nyack rushed over to the golden sun disk mounted by the shimmering pool and freed it from the abbot's holy seal. Yeah. Inside you found a pile of bones, a healing potion, and the dawn flower pendant. One of the relics mentioned in Madame Ava's card reading. With his prize in hand, Nyak finished off the abbot and bagged his angelic ass in the same net that started at all.

However, as the angel died, he smiled and told you all it was too late, because Strad had already been invited to the wedding. Moments later, you heard the cries of werewolves fill the air, and a plume of red smoke filled the door. doorway. The smoke parted and outstepped Straud von Zarovich. Having been officially invited to the wedding, the vampire strode into the burning church and prepared to claim his bride. And that is where we are now. You all see Straud, his pale face bathed in scarlet firelight, walking towards Marina. She looks terrified, but she holds her ground. He reached, reaches out of hand and says, Tatiana, do you see now,

even the angel's hunger for your soul? There is no place safe for you other than by my side. So please, come to your senses. Marina says nothing. She grips her sword tightly and holds it out in front of him. The abbot's plan may have failed,

but you will still become my bride. This is not a request, but a destined occurrence. As the flames build all around you, Strad, smiles, and cast his gaze upon you. I must thank you, Triplets, for taking care of that foolish angel. Yet again, your potential impresses me. Keep it up, and I might just invite you to Tatiana's actual wedding. So he prepares to claim Tatiana. I'm going to roll initiative for Strad and some other folks. Oh, man.

And that brings us back into the initiative, everybody. We are going to start with the very end of Nyack's turn. Nyack, you just managed to slay the abbot. And as Straud talks, you feel the silver sunflower pendant in your hand start to rattle, as if it's agitated by his presence. In its center, the purple gemstone gleams brightly with a light from within. And as you start to inspect it,

you hear the voice of St. Markovia speak loudly in your ear. That is the Donflower pendant. King Barov commissioned it from Olmiss Forged scholars and gave it to Strahav's brother, Sergey, to commemorate his wedding to Tatiana. They say that when Strad struck down Sergei and drank his blood, this pendant became a holy word against him and all the evil for which he stood.

Nayak, you look up and see Markovia standing before you. She seems less transparent than before, and a soft smile parts her sharp face. Now that you have removed the abbot's seal, my spirit can once again move and speak freely here, and though this abbey has been consumed by fire, Hope is not lost. She grabs your shoulder.

Ow! You're squeezing it really hard. I'm very sorry. Ew. Please let go. Did I scratch you? What's going on? I think you pinch something.

It hurts when I go like this. It hurts when I go like this. That keeps looking over his right shoulder. Every aspect of all of you is baffling to me. That's as far as I can go. You are contradictions. The lot of you. When does it hurt, Nyak?

It hurts when I go like this. Okay, so just a little turn. Did you sleep on it wrong? Perhaps. No, because it didn't hurt until you grabbed it really hard. Yeah. It was fine this morning. You just keep saying like this, but not everyone can see you.

There's a lot of smoke in here. You should describe what's happening properly when you make jokes like that. Nyack. It's not a joke, brother. Nyak. Like this. Yeah, like what, Nyack. I am inculporeal.

I don't know. know how I could have injured you. Nike is looking so, so delicately over his right shoulder. Perhaps if I touch it like this. You see like a combing aura forms on her hand, and she touches your other shoulder. And despite the sweltering heat, you do suddenly feel cool and relaxed.

Whoa. Please, I beseech you. Okay, now it might be too mobile, but that's an improvement. Oh, my God. You just have to tell him. You just have to power through it. You are all so much in such a variety of ways. Can I show you something on my hip flexor?

Very well. St. Markovia is a chiropractor. Watch out for chiropractors, Nyak. Oh, yeah. Oh, your vertebrae are a disaster. Yeah, it also hurts when I go like this. Okay, he just kind of turned his head. How does it feel when you pee?

We're getting off subject. Yes, okay. Niah. Tell me, I deceit you. Drive that foul tyrant from these chambers. If you do, I can come. consecrate this land and make it hallowed once more. This is my final request.

And then she kind of fades back into the shimmering pool beneath you, leaving you with this dawnflower pendant. Let me describe what this does, because it does a lot of cool shit. Fuck yeah. It is this silver sunflower with a purple gem at its center. The symbol has 10 charges for the following properties. It regains 1d6 plus 4 charges daily. get dawn. The three things that can do are, number one, hold vampires. You can expend one charge

and present this symbol to make it flare with power. Vampires and vampire spawn must make a DC-15 wisdom-saving throw. On a failed save, they are paralyzed for one minute. Turn undead. You can expend three charges to use the cleric ability turn undead. And finally, sunlight. As an action, you can expend five charges while presenting the holy symbol to make it shed bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light for an additional 30. The light is sunlight and lasts for 10 minutes. So, Nyack, it is the end of your turn, but you do have this cool pendant,

as well as the potion of supreme healing and an electron flask, perfect to match your electron flute that you have. All right, so we are back into the battle proper. This is going to bring us to the Ware Ravens and Donk Squad. Outside, you hear a shout of help from Grigory. Oh, God.

Oh, Gregory. Grigory's gone. We just have to sacrifice, great. We cannot save everyone. I don't miss him. Yeah. Sorry, dude. Yeah, this is how Gregory wanted to go.

If you're like, I've got a lot to say. Yeah, I don't know that you do, though. Gregory, we'll miss you. It's time for the Gregory's Evon tour. Bye, so much. We'll miss you. Esmeralda run from Gregory. Esmira just get out of here.

Gregory's going to make the last stand. He's super brave. I'm working on my catchphrase. Hong, honk, I love being a donk. Yeah. Gregory's last stand. Epic. So yes, you try to make out what he's saying,

but the roar of the flames is a little too loud. I am going to have Grigory attempt to free Esmeralda again. And since you guys are inside the building, I'm not going to reveal the results of that yet. Okay. So that is the outside forces turn inside the church. Udo and the remaining donk squad look around. They see Strad at the entrance to the church.

They see this swarm of zuminoids blocking your path to the exit, and they say, don't worry, guys, we'll clear a path. Donk Squad, out. Right on. Okay, so they are going to try and take out more of this giant Zuminoid swarm that is in the way here. They just do five damage. It might not seem like a lot, but they're chipping them away towards a lower damage threshold. So that is good.

That is good news. The donk squad gets into the mix with a Zuminoid swarm. You see just donkeys attacking lizards and parrots and fish people and like one snail guy for some reason. They're just all in this big fricasse and this flaming church now, and that brings us to Jins' turn. Okay, I'm going to throw a bardic inspiration to Marina. Nice. Thank you. Marina, don't get charmed.

God damn it. I can use this against a saving throw? Yes, don't go anywhere with Strudge. He's bad news, okay? I will resist his dark wiles. Thank you. Great. Thank you, sir, master.

You're welcome. All righty. And no one watched me while I do this. I pull out a tiny bow and I try to shoot him with Elf shot. And I'm going to bust out the card that gives me advantage on an attack. Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah.

Holy fuck. Oh, man, I forgot about those. 24 to hit. Yo! Okay. So my tiny bow shoots out a tiny arrow that sticks out a tiny arrow that sticks his feet to the floor until the end of his next turn. Bet you didn't see my bird. brother's tiny bow coming strudge that is so good god damn all right and then i'm going to run over

uh use my movement to uh tackle marina so she physically cannot see strad oh okay i am literally her head is like i literally plug her ears too so she can't hear him either take some of his mark shitty clothes i literally throw i literally throw his mark's like cloak over her head and i hold her ears with the cloak over her head. That's so funny. I love that. Okay. Let me look up the language of charm. I think that one humanoid you can see within 30 feet of him. Okay.

If the target can see Straud, shit. So if she can't see Straud... I'm literally, like, I have tackled her. We are just on the ground. I will use all of my movement to get her away from Strad. As wily as ever, Gens. I didn't

shoot a tiny bow. It was a regular-sized bow. Piney Bo, big dreams. We're kind of just going to hide, even though we need to get the fuck out of here. But can we get through the windows or can we go back through where we came from when we met

Marina's mom? Yes, you could definitely go back through the East Wing into the medical wing and through the nursery again. You would probably take some fire damage doing that, but that is definitely an option. Strad is in front of, like, the main exit.

You don't know if there's an exit in the West Wing. You could definitely get through Straud. You would maybe take an opportunity to attack. The windows, the Ware Ravens got through the windows, but they did that in Raven form. They crashed through the glass panes. The panes are pretty small because they're lined with lead.

So there's kind of these like lead grates over them, if that makes sense. All right. How far could we get if instead of hiding, I just grabbed Marina and just pulled her through the East Hallway or whatever? I would say you could probably get to the door of the East Hallway because this is a 50 by 50 foot room. Okay. Then I will hide over by that door.

I'm just going to get as far as I can. Awesome. And both of us just dive. down in the pew. Cool. Yeah, there's a lot of flaming pews. The hidebox. You're good.

We hide on that side. Sick. All right, yeah. That is your turn. Awesome. Strad cannot make a legendary action because he can't move. Damn right. So that is going to bring us to the Zuminoid swarm.

On the swarm's turn, they all look towards the body of this slain abbot and just start howling and moaning. What? No. So uncool! Who do we follow now? We did an alpha to give us instructions. Onyx is moved by their grief. It's so beautiful.

Stop loving them. Why is it beautiful? It's beautiful that they're grieving. Father! They lost their dad. They lost their dad. No, they're saying that in like a religious shit. Their dad sucks.

Where will we get wine now? They love wine. We are actually going to a winery if you want to go. What? At this, Straude grins and says, My friends, I have more blood and wine at my disposal than the abbot could ever dream of. Come, serve me, and you shall never thirst again. Why did you say blood first?

We don't know who to choose. So what I'm going to have happen here is we're going to do an Airbud-style roll-off. Oh, my God. So to determine who the Zuminoid swarm attacks, I need somebody to roll an animal handling or persuasion check for me. against Straud. I have plus seven to persuasion. Whoa. That's good.

Whoa. Okay. Strad just gets a plus four. It's not one of its main skills. So here we go. 19 on the die. Oh, Strzod got a 13. Amazing.

What do you say to the Zuminodes to win them over? I am your father's father, which means I am your grandfather. I am so mourning, Lord, but I am your grandfather. I will take you. to the Wizards of the Wines, and you will get so much wine, you will be hung over. Amen, Grandpa.

And then I pose in my uncomfortably erotic lingerie. You're just, as the morning lord. Sexy nighty, grandpa. It's the tightest lingerie. Whoa, our sexy grandpa, we're going to get wine drunk with our sexy grandpa. Jen's is just still covering Marina's.

You don't want to hear any of this. It's so bad out here. Believe me, I'm protecting you from so much. It is hard to compete with that. Can't believe the Morning Lord thing worked. Can't believe the Zuminoyotes could be saved. I need to get the fuck out of this town. Who should be attacked, Grandpa?

Attack Strad. He killed your father. You're right. You killed our dad. Zuminodes, move out. But don't die because we have a date in the wizard of the wine winery. No, you have to try your best. You have to fight to the death.

I send them the location that we're going to next. No. We will survive this so we can have a tasty wine flight with you, Grandpa. If you don't survive, that's okay. We won't hold it against you. We'll remember you. Zoonoids, zoom out. No.

Do it for your hot grandfather. All right, let me see if these guys hit. Fuck you up. Hit. Sick. Let me see which squad attack Strad.

That is a five. That's going to be oh no. You see the Fish Battalion comes up.

Cool. Yeah, I'm going to sacrifice that. Really? Let's get him, guys. You see they all just have like

weak little fins and they go up and start slapping Strad. So this is going to, I'm going to subtract 2D4 from the damage

total. Okay. So 16 minus seven, so that's nine. So they do nine damage to Stroud. Woo. You see Strad looks honestly amused by this. Look at these little guys. This is fun.

You could join me. It would be fun to have you around the house. That's what we think. Don't. No, those are our fish guys. Yeah, see you want some now, huh, Jen? Well, I don't want Strads to have them. Perhaps I could start a new winery,

and you could all work there and drink wine for free. That sounds pretty good. No, listen to Grandpa. Grandpa will lead us. Okay, so next time around, you'll get to make another persuasion against them. If you get three successful ones, I'll say they are just allied with you permanently. Yeah. But that brings us to Marina's turn.

So Marina is on the ground. Her eyes are covered, her ears are covered, but she's just kind of like struggling and says, The store master, let's me fight. We must make a stand. Stand against what? We're in a burning goddamn church. Strage was invited here. Let's just go consecrate a different fucking area.

Perhaps you're right. Yes. Perhaps. I'm definitely right. When you fight with a blade, sometimes you must know when to wait to strike. Yes. Exactly. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here. I don't just look at the ground. You're so fucking wise. Yes. Okay. She just like clutches Ismark's shirt, which is like wrapped around her head now. And feels honestly safe and bolstered by it. I'll say that like your bardic inspiration was you putting the shirt on her head.

Yeah. Tell you what, promise you we're not fighting them without you. Thank you. Yes, I wish to lend my blade to the cause. That is all I wish now. Pledge your sword to our sexy granddad. Yeah, I could use that pledge, just to feel good. It's the bald man gleaming wearing some sort of lacy lingerie.

It is a sighted I did not know. to see if only if only Father Donovic could see this. Yeah. It's beyond his wildest dreams. All right. So we're at like the east door. Yes.

So I think book it. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. She can use her movement. She will book it through the east door. She is going to take some flame damage getting through this door. That is 10 points of flame damage.

Yeep. This kind of fucks her up. She looks pretty hurt by this. Oh, no. but she manages to get through and she heads into the nursery. Wanted to fight Strad, almost killed by a door. Keep running, Marina, please.

I must get stronger. Yeah, we all better. We're fucking level four, Marina. Yeah. We have to get the fuck out of here. The rest of us new, it's not so moment. Okay? Okay, and I will say, Jens,

since you use your taro card from your inspiration deck, I will roll another card that Strad can use against you. Oh, boy. I've drawn the card. You see, in the like breast pocket of Straud's like military uniform, a small golden card appears and he kind of grins.

What an insane thing to see from across a smoky room, I say. My eyes are perfect. Why are you wearing a military costume? Well, I thought this would be my wedding. Are you the general of something, though? Have you ever gone to war? Of course. I conquered this land alongside my father. Oh, okay. All right, son.

Go on. Father, not quite a granddad, huh? Yeah. Our granddad's in a thong. What was yours wearing? It's not my granddad. It's a dynodian dad. Old your tongue,

grandchild. He's being petulant, grandfather. It is true. My father could never. He did not have the vision you have. I have a begrudging respect for you and your silks. Thank you so much. Actually, I kind of like Strud.

We get to leave. We have to leave. It is initiative zero now. That was the end of the final. round, the abbey is now properly ablaze. You hear a loud crack as burning chunks of timber start to fall

from the rafters. The flames have spread to every corner of the abbey, and from now on, every time you start your turn inside the church, you will take 2D6 fire damage. Oh dear. Okay, that brings us to the top of the order, which is Onyx. Okay, you two can get out

of your own, right? Yeah, I hope so. Then, I think I want to use my entire Turn to misty step to Marina. A refreshing step, so I give her temp HP, and then carry her as close to the window as we can. Okay. All right.

So with a misty step, that's 30 feet. And keep the cloak on, because you know Strah's just going to step back out the door and try to loop her around the other side. This guy loops. He's a looper. We know he's going to loop. A lurker and a looper. He's a lurker.

He's a looper. I'm a Bruce Willis. I'm at Joseph Gordon-Levin. He's being real careful with his language, but this guy's a creep. Okay, she only gets one temp, HP. Okay. But then I just want to try to,

I still have, like, a full action. Okay. So, like, essentially pick her up and use a dash action to try to get out the window. Yeah, with a dash action, I'll say you can get to the nursery and you can get her out the window.

Great. Do you want to get out the window, too? If I can. Okay. I'll get out the window. And then I'll point to a tower that's not burning, that St. Markovia can

consecrate and then tell Marina to run in that direction on her turn. Okay. Yeah, awesome. So I will say, yeah, you help Marina hop through this window and then you jump after her. You kind of land on the ground, look up. You see that the surrounding area is not quite on fire yet.

It's mostly concentrated in the abbey. There's this walkaway lined with flowers and frost-covered grass. And then you do see like this outer gate and these two watchtowers where you saw those two Zuminoid guards initially, and that's where you stole the net from. Those are small, but they are

open currently. Okay, so as I get out, I'm going to say Marcovia, can you how's your reach? Can you hit these towers with some consecration? So yes, you land outside of the abbey. You feel this cold

rush of wind hit your face as you escape from the fire. And you ask Markovia this question, and you see she kind of like appears leaning against the side of the building, almost like touching it still. And she says, Okay, Zat Singh's on fire.

Be careful. Okay, yes, no, I have a cooling touch. Don't worry. I helped your friend Nyack with his mini, mini, mini back problems. Did you? Did you so? Temporarily. Caused one, too.

They will realline improperly. He will need to visit me again every other week for a simple session, $3,000. And does insurance cover it? No, no. You will need to get a rebate. If you can lure strad away, I can concentrate. this place and make it safe against evil, but it will take some time. Whether you drive him forth or you make him follow you from this land, as long as he has gone, I can create a ward. I can hallow

this land. Okay, so I think that's right now. Naya is in there with a pendant, so he's just going to sort of do the expelling of Strad. I am worried about Marina dying because she is very hurt, so I'm just going to bring her to a tower and we'll hide in there. Okay. So, so you're you look up towards the tower and I will say there is one other thing you see in this courtyard now. There is a whole swarm of werewolves. They are encroaching upon the wear ravens, Grigory and Esmeralda. Esmeralda is still captured, by the way. It looks like Gregory could not free her. But they do not seem to be attacking them yet. They're kind of like closing in, circling them. You see that it is this big swarm that seems to be led by one massive,

scar-covered werewolf with pure black fur. He's striding forward and seems to have his eye specifically on the cage with the baby werewolf inside. Oh. Okay, I'm just going to shout, we are actually the ones who saved the chumpy, okay? So the only reason your puppy's here is because of us.

Okay, so you guys are going to head towards the tower on your next turns, but that is your action for now. Thank you. I will say, as you shout towards these werewolves. They have very good hearing. The black werewolves ears do perk up a little bit as you speak. So just something to keep in mind for next turn. Let's see. That is going

to bring us to do, do, do, oh, Vasilka. Yeah. Bridella. She is still in full Bridezilla mode. Just refusing to admit that this wedding isn't happening. She's actually going to rush over to Nyack at the altar and scream,

Something borrowed! Something borrowed! Oh, fuck. Yeah. Sure. Oh, Nyack has a bag of Jens' gloves for dueling. Oh, yeah, so it's borrowed. Yeah. Give her your bow.

I borrowed these from Jens. Give her your bow. But he didn't borrow it. That's perfect, honestly. I love that. I want to make you roll for that. She takes two of the gloves from this dueling bag, puts them on and says, Perfect fit.

Why two? You can take one. Jens might miss the other. Oh, dear. What have I done? With that, she is going to turn towards the person that, She thinks has ruined her wedding, which is Straud, and she is going to take her attacks against him.

All right. Unfortunately, both of those attacks miss. Give me back those gloves. You're not using them right. She tries to just slap him with the gloves, and it doesn't quite work. Those are dueling gloves. If you can't duel, they're not yours.

I challenge you. Yeah, then they're just gloves. Okay, and that is going to bring us next to Keychain's turn. Keychain was stationed by the door, ready to run out. He is like right next to Strad now. He says, should I fight or should I offer a potion? Get a potion to Marina. Okay. Keychain is going to use a dash action to get from the door through the east wing and out that window in the nursery. I think he will be able to land right next to you and I'll let him deliver a potion to Marina. Great. He leaves as I shout,

fight with me, my brother. Stand in this burning church and fight Strad back to O. Oh. Bye bye, baby. That is going to be 2D8 plus three to Marina. Awesome. Marina is back to full HP. Hell yeah. With one temp HP. Ooh, nice. From my pathetic refreshing step.

Okay, Marina looks refreshed. She chugs this potion down. Oh, it's really dehydrated in there. Yeah, it's a fire. I do need to roll fire damage for onyx. Yeah. Nine fire damage to you. Cool.

Three fire damage to Vasilka. and six fire damage to Keychain. Keychain is actually looking pretty hurt. That is going to be the swarm of werewolves. They are going to surround Grigory, Esmeralda, and the Ravens. I'm going to have them roll a contested athletics check as they're going to try to just secure them, essentially. You guys are all watching this happen

from your position outside the window. Honestly, I don't really know them, so I've had it. We just cannot save everyone. We simply can. I can save millions. That's all. If this is how Grigory goes, that's fine. Esmeralda seems really interesting, but you just cannot keep getting captured.

God bless you, Esmeralda, but, I mean, I'm sure you're a wizard. If you got out, you do some cool stuff, but... This is the beginning of Gregory's story. I feel it. The werewolves got a 21 on their strength. You roll for the Were Ravens. I'll just do this as one singular roll. They got a 15, so I will say that the Werewolf Swarm kind of encircles them.

They've got their spears up, kind of pointing in. They've overpowered them for now. You see that the Were Ravens, they try to fly away, but they've got this cage, and they just kind of circle up with Grigory and Esmeralda and kind of hold their hands up. They're kind of held captive at the moment. And that brings us to Straud's turn. Oh, no. Yeah, so I think he's lost sight of Marina.

Marina has, like, gone through this flaming doorway. He assumes she's just, like, further in the Abbey. But actually what I'm going to do here is I want to roll a perception to see if he can see through the flames to what Nyack is doing. He got a 28 perception. So he is able to see this silver glinting pendant in Nyack's hand. And you see as soon as he sees it, his eyes alight with this rage. So that's where that wind. Sergey

Even in death You taunt me with your trinkets Nyeck I would have you unhand That He is going to cast blight On Nyack Huh

Well It was nice knowing you guys You have much potential Nyak You see his hand lifts This necrotic energy Starts to form around it

As he kind of waves sit around in the air, kind of gathering this foul magic. And he says, I have watched you, Naak. You have grown as a hunter. You have taken out many powerful foes. Reagan, Pioter, the abbot. You have what it takes to join my dark coterie.

Let's see if you can pass this final test. Are you proposing a merger with sput-fuckers? Keep him up in my night. You have a dark hunger, Nyak. It sits around you like a cloud of gloom. Both body and mine seek more and more. Let me see if you can handle this amount of darkness. So I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

Oh boy, Khan. So you have negative one? Such bad con. I think I do have yes. Negative one to Khan. Oof. That's a nine. Uh, Nyack, he blasts you with this necrotic bolt of energy.

You feel the gloom turn against you, transforming into these raking claws, almost like Straud's own hands, uh, and you take 29 points of damage. I can, I can take it, Stratt. Oh, oh, actually, it hurts when I go like that. It hurts when I go like that. Naya crumbles to a heap and is down. So Nyack crumbles to the ground, still clutching this silver pendant. And you see Strad focuses his gaze firmly on that.

But that is all he can do because he cannot move yet until the end of his turn. Oh, but he does take 2 to 6 fire damage. So there's that. Take that. That's from me. My sexy grandpa. I forgot, within all of this craziness, zuminoids, attack the werewolves outside. Help the people that are getting captured.

You're not going to kill Strz, frankly. Oh, yeah. Sorry to the fish, dudes. I'm sure you're awesome. You're just not going to beat Strud. We rock. You've got to see us at the beach, man. That's awesome.

Please fight the werewolves. You and just tackle them. Just try to grapple them if you can. You got it. Thank you. Okay. You'll get to make that. Wait, but aren't the zuminodes are the ones who drank their puppy's blood?

It sure is. And you know what? Apparently, we have the same grandpa now, so it's fine. We'll get the wolf something to fight. We realized we're all a family. Jen's is furious that he has to turn to the zoom noids for help. You know, that's going to bring us to Nyack. Go ahead and make me a death saving throw, please.

No problem. Shout out to the two crew. Yay. Okay, that's one. All righty. That is going to be the Weirrivens and the donk squad. The Weirrivens outside are captive. The donk squad inside.

What would you like? them to do. Please go outside and help the other allies. You got it. Yeah. If you get captured too, you guys are gone. You guys got to help yourself at some point. Somebody's got to do something. We can only have one dependent. It's Marina. Everyone else extraneous. I get it. Yeah, we'll do our own thing. Your grandpa might outlive you and that's fine. You can't be our grandpa too. This is borrowed time. Like, we got you out of the lab. Helpful or you're gone. Yeah. The wear Ravens too, like they shattered the windows and that was awesome and then they got captured so like we're just looking for something you know she's like no one knows how to do work anymore yeah no one else this new generation

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slash area-51 laptops. Okay, so they are going to get outside. I'm trying to think of Stroud can take an opportunity. attack on them because he's still standing in front of the doorway. He hasn't moved. Yeah, why not? Drain his reaction on them. Yeah, yeah.

All right, Strad's going to use his reaction to take an opportunity to attack on them as they run through. This is the donk squad running past. Strad, ooh, definitely hits them. 18 damage. Damn, he's good. What level are you, Strad? Because I'm only level four.

Yes. Yeah, Strad, do you think you're so fucking cool. We're level four. Yeah, wait until I'm your level. Pick on someone your own level. Fight us in Trinneville. Fight us in Trinneville. Fides in fucking Trinneville.

Seriously. We're in Mobius. Yeah, we're in Mobius. Okay, so they fly through the door. Strad swipes at a couple of these donks. And unfortunately, one of them falls. Oh. No!

Wow. That seems really personal. That is pretty sad. I do feel bad for the for the donk, for sure. We have a supreme healing potion. I'll be fine. But at the same time, we honor your sacrifice for using up Straud's reaction. We are going to erect a fountain in your honor.

We will erect a fountain in your honor. I do agree with that. Oleg! Oleg! You fallen! Was it the fish person? Was it a fish person? No, no, no. This is the donk squad.

Oh, wait. They're all donkeys. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so the fountain won't make much sense. A donkey fountain. No, there will be a donkey fountain. A donkey. Look, Oleg actually helped.

Oleg fucking took one of Straud's reactions. That's more than we can say for the rest of you fucking hangers on. Okay, so the dog squad is going to go mix it up with the werewolf swarm. Just like 17 liabilities. They're going to join this fray, and I'm going to make them do an opposed strength to see if they can free everyone else. Great. That's a 19. Let's see what the world's get.

For gins! A guy I just met Udo and I do go way back Fuck yeah That's just a tin for the werewolf swarm The donks squad Takes to the scene They start doing flying donkey kicks

They push back the werewolf swarm So Udo and his crew Rejoinned with Grigory They're with the Were Ravens now They form into one units They're protecting Esmeralda You see that the wereavans are still holding Chompo in this little cage

The werewolves are being Extra careful around this cage You notice but your allies outside are now free and they can join the fight. Okay, that is their turn. That is going to bring us to Jens. Oh, boy. Okay, I have to save my stupid goddamn brother.

I take fire damage to start of my turn, right? Yes. Okay. Hit me. That is six fire damage. Let me also roll. So I have Elf shot still up, which means he has his movement back. Okay.

But I can shoot again, but let me roll a concentration check. Gotcha. Passed. Nice. And then I'm going to run over to Nyack. I'm going to scoop the Supreme Healing out of his pockets. Mm-hmm. Dump it in his mouth.

And I think that's a lot, right? Isn't it like 8D8 or something? Yeah, dude, that's a lot. Doesn't even matter with our stupid level four fucking HP. I cry. It's fucking bullshit. I'm like a strad. I'm back to full, but it's nothing.

It's fucking nothing. It doesn't matter. Yes. With this potion of healing, you heal Nyak for 10d4 plus 20. Jesus, okay, so yeah, you're back. Yeah, so you're back to full. You love me, brother.

Shut up. So as Nyak comes back to life, Jens, you see that your sunsword and the donflower pendant start both rattling, and it starts to gleam with this bright light. You see like kind of these sparks of sunlight start appearing at the hilt. I do think this is going to be very useful sometime.

I do think if I try to turn him, he's just going to save. And I do think if I shoot him with the beam, it's just going to do a lot of damage and then he's going to fucking kill me in one hit. So what I'm going to do is, is I'm going to pull out a tiny bow. Shoot him with the tiny bow. We have every tool at our disposal.

Oh, you're doing the bow. Yeah. And that's a 19 to hit. Jesus Christ. Okay. Shoot him with a tiny bow in the foot. You hold them in place again. Yeah.

And then I grab Nyak. And then I grab Nyack and I'm going to run for the... No reaction. I run past him. Oh, that's the fucking door. Yes, dude. Okay. Thank you.

Yeah. Oleg. You don't merge with us. We merge with you. Yeah. Yeah. Come back with another pitch. We're going to buy you out. Jens, as you make ready to flee,

Markovia appears again and puts her slightly too chilly hand on your shoulder. Ooh. Okay. I'm realizing now that trying to restore my holy ward on the abbey might be a little difficult at this point. Yeah, it's gone, it's gone, it's burned. There's a lot going on.

However, all is not lost. If you wish for me to cast the consecration spell, all you need to do is take my bones. What? Take my bones. Where are your bones? They're in there, they're in the hole. Fine.

Get my bones. I take your bones. As long as you have the bones, I can cast the hallow spell wherever you might be. Okay. Then you will have safety against Strad. Yes, we take a,

her bones. Thank you. And I run out. Be gentle with my bones. God damn it. I am not gentle with the bones. You weren't gentle with mine. I just shove him in like a Trader Joe's bag and get running.

Nice toad. Awesome. Cool. So you flee with these bones as you pass. Strad says, You are very clever, Jens. I had a brother once too. But I didn't let him weigh me down.

Consider what this means. if you truly wish to see your empire of potatoes rise. I was already thinking that, Straj. Carrie Nyak out. Okay, awesome. So that is your turn. And we're both not looking at Strauch. Head forward. We are out of here. Nice. Head forward.

I mean, Nyak can't even turn his head. Yes. It hurts when I go like this. Does that mean that everyone, except for the Zuminoy Storm, is out of the Abbey now? know? They weren't going to have a good life. Let's face it.

Niac screams as they exit. Onyx, the Zuminoyotes are still in there. We are on Marina duty. We don't have time for Zuminous. Nyek, I will literally join Stratt if you run back in there. I will literally join Stratt if you run back in the net.

Nyak is like Sean Penn and Mystic River trying to get back into the burning church. Grandpa! Is that my net in there? Grandpa! We're burning in here, Grandpa! What do we do? Sorry, Grandpa's heart of hearing.

Why don't you guys give me another persuasion role? Jins, do you want to do this as you're running past the Zoomenoids to see if you can persuade them to join you outside of the church? Yeah. Just yell, follow your grandpa. Or don't. I pose in Betty Boop lingerie. Uh-oh. Okay.

I do have good persuasion, but I rolled bad. Three, nine. Nine. Okay, let's see what Straud does. Let's face it. My heart wasn't in it. Straw got an eight. Yeah.

Wow. He just keeps being like, no, join me. I have much to. God damn, that grandpa is sexy. Even he has to admit it. It's like Freudian almost. I don't fucking know. Looks like an uncle I had.

I don't get it. Grandpa had Betty Boobob. As opposed to Betty Boop's hot face. Grand Paul. Yeah. Sick. Okay, so these zuminoids are going to attack strata. All right, you want them to join the fray outside.

Yeah, let's just get zuminoids. Grab the cage of the baby werewolf. Let's get, let's just get to town. Great. Everyone just keep running. All right. Because I feel like the Markovia, the way she words it, it sounds like a long-term thing.

I don't know that we're going to get to a tower, is just going to, like, instantly cast a spell that repels him. Yeah, also, this church is burning. Yeah, yeah. Also, it's, we're just, we're just done here. We just have to be out. Is everyone else burned out, too? Yes.

I am, honestly, like, the constant, I'm kind of staring at Marina and Esmeralda being, like, one. See, now you understand sort of the micro of the macro that I'm feeling on it, all right? Okay, so they're going to take fire damage as they run out. Here, I thought that I was, like, not a mom anymore. but Marina came along and now I'm a girl mom. I'm a girl mom. Or a girl grandpa.

A girl grandpa. You're a girl grandpa. A girl papa. I have my girl papa. I have my sword master and I have Nyack. Yeah. You see this swarm of a variety of species of all sorts and types. Just like Noah's arc fucking bounding out into this courtyard to fight these werewolves.

It is just fucking bonkers what is going on here. I believe we're on the same side. For Grandpa! For Grandpa! I can't wait to ask Grandpa about his long and history of life while we're getting fucking toasted on a beautiful wine patio. We just can't. More of them have to die.

I can't handle like 30 of these dudes. Grandpa, tell us about Grandma. We're so sad we didn't get to know her. Which one I've had so many lovers. Grandpa's been busy. I have three families. Bring us some fucking Lamprusco. We're getting into it.

Do it! Okay, so the Zumanoids use a dash action to get up into the mix with the werewolf swarm, and that is going to bring us to Marina. Marina, as instructed, is going to just... Head down, dash. Hears flunged. Head down like me, Marina. She turns to Onyx and says, should we make for the guard tower,

or should you just fucking book it straight down to the village? Let's go to the village. Yeah, let's go to the village, yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, she runs, I'll say... But again, no looking at anyone ever. just head forward what about that

Esmerelda should we try and free her or should really leave that no I have room for one of you one okay yeah got it got it thank you girl pa

you're welcome Marina you're so wise much to learn well when you've had three wives you learn a lot okay it ages you

am I right boys stop she can take away her birth she gets like basically to the gate of the abbey here. The gate leading down the switchback trail.

Okay, so she's going to be ready to go next time. Great. All right, you were making your escape. This is awesome. That is going to bring us to Vasilka. Oh, yes. Vesilka is the one I forgot about. She's still in there.

Nyak rushes back into the trip. She goes towards Strad and just screams, Something blue. Something blue. And Strad is like, yeah, she's a lot. Yeah, gaze upon. that's your wife.

Now you know what age to me so much. I can't believe that the app I thought I would be into this. And he is just going to refuse her offer and Vasilka is going to take two swipes at him. She does 32 damage to him. Whoa. Shit, maybe who should save her. She rushes up to him in this kind of like rage.

Strad, a second too late, realizes how tightly wound these muscles are. The mixture of animal. animalistic parts and human anatomy have created this super strong beast humanoid that just wails on him. This kind of like last will and testament of the abbot just launching into him. And you see him take the brunt of this damage and you hear a strange noise in the distance, almost like the shattering of a gemstone. And he actually bleeds a little bit. curse you abbot curse you morning lord

this is not going as planned I grow tired of these games I grow tired of this world I grow tired of these people and their tiny ploys he wipes the blood away quickly and you see kind of a demeanor shift in this vampire lord as Basilca concludes her attack

he's so upset about the tiny bow Yeah, we're still getting tiny bows, too. This fucking tiny bow for the win. When you said tiny ploys. These tiny ploys and these tiny bows. Okay, that's keychain. He's going to just run with y'all. Does anyone need healing real quick?

Yes. Well, I'm not that bad. I'm at 21. I'm at 31. Okay. Yeah. I'm at full now. I take a little health, certainly.

Okay. A single hit from Stroudwood would fuck me up. Yeah. He'll hit you with one of his healing potions. Thank you. 13 healing points. Thank you. I'm back to full, 27.

Nice. Keychain. Can you? you free Esmeralda, if you can. Just trying to get these guys out of here. Can we give Chompo back to his people? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who side who is on. Can we look and see what Chompos thinking? Yeah, yeah. Jims, you want to do a perception check to kind of get a land here? Chompo. These guys cool. They don't seem cool. How are you feeling, dude? Chompo, do you want to be with them? I got a very bad perception check. I got a four. You got a four.

Yeah. Since the Zuminoy's joined the Freya again. Just a bunch of crazy animals dancing around. That was Keychain's turn. Would you like Keychain? You want him to go and try and free Esmeralda? If you could free Esmerelda so that Esmirelda can also run, that would be great, Keychain. He is going to take an attack on Esmeralda's chains. Fuck me.

That misses. Jesus, dude. Keychain just stay. I'm sorry. This is a big, strong manacle. She has them on her feet as well. She can't run. So she can kind of shuffle.

That's true. That is the werewolf swarm. I'm just going to roll a contested strength. I'm going to have them and the Zuminoyans go on the same turn now and just do a contestive strength. Great. See whose numbers are reduced. Hell yeah.

The Zuminoids prosper. You see, they look so excited about their upcoming trip. Shit. He promised us. It's okay, because the Morning Lord, aka sexy grandpa, promised them. So tomorrow, when I am annexed, they won't recognize me.

True. Yeah. We'll just say, we'll just say sexy grandpa skipped town. Right. Like you always does. Okay.

And then they'll just become like highway men. Out there finding another wife. You guys are going to be so quick to join another call. They're so dangerous. That is the werewolf swarm battle. Next up you see this big Blackford scarred werewolf

breaks off from the pack. He's got like a little bit of gray in his muzzle and one of his eyes is white where he seems to have taken a sword swipe. And he rushes over to the Wair Ravens and the Dunk Squad, but he doesn't attack. You see him just kind of start to parlay with them almost and he points towards the werewolf in the cage.

Chompo, are you good? That's my dad. Oh, that's what I was saying, I think so fun. Is that your sexy grandpa, Chompo? Do you like your dad? I love my daddy. He's the alpha. He can't save me.

I think we need to reunite. All right. Champo's good. This is great. Open the gate. You see this big werewolf of black fur. He's like approaching hesitantly because he's kind of like putting up arms as if to say like don't hurt him. Okay. So he's like moving towards that direction, but he's holding his turn.

Cool. Wait, Onyx, did you go? No. Oh, fuck. We forgot your turn. I'm so sorry. Let's take your turn now. You have all the information.

the lay of the battlefield. Okay. Please act. I'm sorry about that. Marina, just don't do any stuff. Except for dash, except for dash. Just dash, dash, dash. I'm going to go try to free Esmeralda.

So I think I'm just going to go over and try to attack Esmeralda's. I honestly don't care about her hand manacles, just her feet manacles. Can I move my hex? Yeah. Okay. These feet manacles have been trouble. Curse them. 24 to hit 24 hits okay how much damage you do 18 there's one HP left on these manacles

okay good luck just run yeah you see as Marelda like loosened it for you she's got this like metal sort of like clasp over her mouth so she can't cast spells and she's just like we're so close you're so close so his strad so that brings us to uh strad's turn he still can't move because of this fucking elf shot. You see he takes nine more fire damage and something in his demeanor seems to have shifted. It's almost as if

like a piece of armor has fallen. His injuries seem more grave. His face looks more haunted and angered. He lashes out at the thing closest to him. He is going to cast fireball on Vasilka. Oh boy. So much for the honeymoon.

Guess the honeymoon Phyllis is over. Estrade sees this concentrated vestige of the abbot and his influence, and he just unleashes on it. You see he kind of like commands the flames in this chapel and directs them directly towards Vasilka, and she erupts in flames and falls totally destroyed. And you still can't move,

so he just kind of like turns his head back to the side, looking towards the exit where you all are, and Sid, I suggest you will run. We are already doing that. Yeah, we are already doing that. You can't suggest something they were already doing because we're not listening to you.

We thought of that first. It might be reverse psychology. He might be trying to make us not run. That's our original idea running. You just take the first suggestion. It was our idea. It was our idea. No, you can't do that.

It doesn't work on me. It doesn't work on me either. If you reverse or reverse, it's nothing. So he can move now. Okay, he can move now. that is going to be Oh, Nyack, that is your turn. I am head down, blinders on,

not running because Strad told me too, running because I thought of it by myself originally. And can I just, I know there's one HP left on those manacles. Can I just kick at them with my foot really hard? Yeah, definitely. Oh, yeah. That is a 19. You kick these manacles off.

You unscrap all of them, And you see Esmeralda, this woman with like long black curly hair and this bandana and this robotic prosthetic on her leg just takes this huge breath of relief and says, oh, my fucking God, that took you so long. What the hell? All right. We're going to leave you here if you make fun of us too much. Okay, okay, geez, geez. That was all on Grigory. I did that. That was a Grigory thing. Yeah, this guy.

Kicked out my foot and that was basically nothing. I mean, come on. He's doing the best you can with these hooves. I'm level four. What level is Gregory? Okay, great. Let's go. Let's go. Okay, let's go.

We're out of here. Yeah. Did Leo send you? Where did you guys even come from? We'll chat later. Okay. We're really burned out. All right.

Yes. No, I fucking get it. See this church? This is how we feel. Yeah, no, that's no good. That's not good. Let's head towards my wagon. I can, I have really fast spiritual horses attached to it.

Whoa. Cool. Okay. All right. I have a magic golden carrot that controls it. Oh, yeah. I have that. I have that.

What the fuck? What do you have that? Because I broke into. wagon. And that's how we knew you were here. Oh, that was the Alchemist fire. Okay, pretty good. I'm actually pretty attached to Fitbit. Yeah, Fitbit can come too.

Yeah, what do you got like, with his Fitbit? Is it like a... A different donkey. Not a donkey man. Okay. There's too many donkeys here. We got a pair down the donkeys. Can I bring a Zuminoy? Asmerelda. Oh, yeah, if we could get out of here quick, we made a lot of promises to people.

Okay, so that was, Nyack, that was your turn. Is there anything else you want to do? That was your attack, but if you have a bonus action or movement or something. Yeah. Can I make eyes at this werewolf daddy and just point at Chompo and be like, is that your boy? That's my boy. Who are you? I'm your guardian angel.

And I'll go over to the cage and unlock Chompo. Did you? Did you kill the abbot? Did you help? Slay that monster that stole my boy. I suffocated him with my net, sir. Like a true hunter. He grasps your shoulder where...

You pinch something. He's going to look deeply into your eyes and say, what you have done for me can never be repaid, but I will do my best. He grabs Chompo and puts him on his shoulders. then turns to the Werewolf Swarm and says, It is sacrilege what we do, but it must be done.

Attack the Supreme Alpha. Whoa, ho. Chompo, the ultimate bargaining ship. I love you, Daddy. I miss you, Daddy. I missed you so much, my boy. I love you so much. That's cute.

So on the Werewolf Swarm's turn, they are going to head towards the church to attack Strad. Yes. And that is going to bring us to, oh, the Were Ravens and the Donk Squad. Now that the Werewolf Storm is mustering to attack Strad, they are just going to take a wide berth and head towards the gate to meet up with Onyx and Marina.

Great. And that is going to bring us to Jins' turn. Great. I'm going to shoot him with Elf Shod. Yes! Uh-oh. Shout out to the two crew. I miss, for sure.

I Yelp. And then I take off. Continuing to run to meet up with Marina and Onyx. Okay. So since the Elf Shot is lifted, Strad is going to start pursuing you, but you guys are like all the way towards the gate. He's going to start moving that way, but he was still in the church. So he's going to just start slowly striding.

You see that like the last bit of flames is kind of like hanging like a wreath on his now burning red cloak as he strides out of the abbey towards you. Not good. Damn. And that is going to be the Zuminoy Swarm. You guys can definitely take him. I don't know. I promise you.

He has wine. He's been weekends. And when we get to that winery and we're talking about all of Grandpa's conquests, it'll all be worth it. Yeah. Grandpa, give us strength. I know you were in so many wars. Tell us a story. You know, the real battle was with all my wives.

Oh, my God. He tells it like it is. I love willful women. What can I say? Straot is going to roll a contested persuasion again. That is a 22. Here, I'll roll against that. Okay.

Nat 20. Oh my God. You see, the humanoid, they quaver for a second. Their knees shake. You see carapaces and scaly legs quivering. And then they regain their strength and say, we got to do this grandpa style, guys. We're all getting wives after this.

So your wild oaths. The wedding might be canceled, but the conquest is on. Okay. We have to make sure no one survives this. You made a promise for Grandpa! So the Puminoids rush towards Strad. They all bound on all fords towards Strad. Meet him as he's leaving a church.

They make contact. They're swarming all around him. He looks furious. And that is going to bring us. to Esmeralda, she's going to start running back. She, like, gathers, like, lightning into her hand in sort of, like, a circular motion and blasted at Strad. Do, do, do, lightning bolt, 5E.

I think it's a deck save in 86, would be my guess. Sure is. At least 20, 24, that's the thing. Strad's going to make a deck save. He fails, but he chooses to pass, so he only takes, unfortunately, seven damage. There you go. Yeah, and this is why we don't use spells on Strad.

He looks annoyed, if nothing else. As the Zuminoid swarm him, lightning strikes him. Lightning strikes him. and you guys make your way down this switchback trail. That brings us to the end of the order with Marina. She looks back at the abbey, sees it burning. I feel like there was more to discover there, but we will save it for another day.

Now we must flee. You, my sword master, you, my girlpah, and Nyak. You know, we'll figure it out, man. You can say, we'll figure it out. Let's go. Let's get this. We're going to figure this out. We're going to do this.

Yes. When we're not level four, for sure. She runs down the hill. You all book it down this switchback. You see Kirol and the werewolves join the Zuminoid swarm. They are all just attacking the shit out of Strad. You hear his rage as you flee. No!

She is mine! Red lightning strikes the ground. Was she yours or was she your brothers? Shut up! Shut up! You know nothing. She was wasted. on him. He was a fool. A coward, craven, and soft. Uh, he is ranting and raving as you make

your way down the hill, gravel spraying as you slide down it. You run past Izek, who is still just doing random jobs. You see he's got like a mop bucket out now. You head towards the stockyard. You jump into Esmeralda's wagon. She says, get it, caret, caret. Where the fuck is carried? Right here. I almost gave it away. Okay. Could you imagine? Oh, my God, dude. Like, I've known you for like 30 seconds, but like you're, on my last nerve. Yeah. I'm fucking burnt out.

Yeah. I'm fucking burnt out. I'm more burnt out than you are. Again, Marina is your problem now, okay? Because Onyx wants onyx time now. She wants to have some fun. Onix is burned out, okay? I'm burned out.

You burned out. The only one not burned out is Nyack and he's dumb as out. Yeah, but I have two tweak shoulders. And he's two tweaked shoulders. You can't even look behind him, okay? We need like a fucking vacation, guys. We absolutely need a vacation. Mommy needs mummy time.

Where are we heading? We're heading to some fucking wine. because of some tree. Okay, a winery, now you're talking my fucking language. There we go. Let's get there. Let's get absolutely smashed and figure out our next move. She grabs this golden carrot, shoves it into a small hole

in the driver's seat of this carriage, twist it, says, throw that! And two spectral horses appear. As this happens, you see the wear ravens swoop into the back of the wagon, the donk squad hangs on to the side, and you guys book it out

of Velaki and into the open road towards the winery, and that is where we will end our session. RIP to the Zuma noise. I don't think they're going to make it out. The promise was made. RIP pop. A couple of them are just going to roll up to the winery, for sure. Whoa, good fucking Lord, y'all.

That was close. Yeah, for sure. I will say, you guys were right to complain. You were very low level, but because you have got these magic relics, because you have left Velocchi, you guys are level five. So that means two attacks and hopefully more of a chance to one day take on the menace of Straud. We'll talk more about that and in the menacing events that have happened on our short rest,

which you can find at patreon.com slash nadpod. We are. We are. No, no, no, no. Don't sing that. Don't sing yet. We'll do that later. I promise.

Does anyone have anything they want to plug? Yes. We have our live show in Vegas for Dimension 20. You see Dimension 20 live in Las Vegas, November 1st. So coming up this weekend. So come see us in Vegas, search Dimension 20 live. Live and on stage. It's going to be.

It's a stage, right? Yes. Not like a fountain. Not just us in a fountain. Okay, great. Not friend style. Okay. Check out my substack.

Substack.com slash at Jake Hurwitz. And I would love to plug. This is fun. So last year, a bunch of NAD pod fans made a calendar for charity. And they raised a lot of money. And they're doing it again this year. There is a not another D&D calendar. or NAD calendar.

If you Google NAD calendar, you will be able to find it. It's NAD calendar 2026. May I suggest sexy grandpa as one of the months? Right. If you're still finishing it up, putting the finishing touches, sexy grandpa, I think, really deserves. An iconic character. All proceeds go to the UNICEF Gaza appeal.

So that's great. So please go support that. That's NAD calendar, 26. I'll put a link to it in the episode description. Yes. you can follow us on social media that are Mir may not use at CHMERS me at Kaldi

Kaldi at AXRidemily and at Jake Coates is Jake and you can talk about the show online using hashtag NatPod that's NADDDPOD We are, we are The Youth of the Nation We are, we are

The Youth of the Nation The Youth of the Nation Come. You're going to be able to be. It's the end of the show, everybody, and that means I need to shout out our benevolent Council of Elder, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S, Lord of the Fjord, Later MacGator, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Daniel the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam, Victor T, AKA Balnor's Boy, Hoyd's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, T.J.M, Trey Lay the Cray, Christopher B, Damiel, yes, Caldwell,

thanks, only took six years. are Jordanel, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Targott, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuker, the NB, DM, Ph.D., Princess Yarr, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohumia, Mike H, Alka Smelzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F, C. C. C. Lulu, Bald Bearn. Hercule Poirot, the Rabbit Folk Detective. Timmy R. Jake's Jerk's Jerk Jelly, CCCC, Cass, skateboard, Cass, Stephen C, as the bumbling bugbear Captain Hastings, Nick W, Nico, the underpaid English teacher, William W, Big Bad Beardo the Mad, an anorama, Percival, Frederick Stein, von Musil, Klausowski, DeRolo the 3rd, Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the

vibe, honoring the cock, impressive dongle, Ben A, Dave H, Not That Nick, Hawkeye Pierce, Big Bad John, DPC is awesome, Sean, the shade tree mechanic of Zelbaldar, Summer Rose, aka Grand Terre, Mark the Dark Lord's Taint, Cat C, Mesa of Hausenzoon, Ariel, the occasional mermaid, Selina N, aka Valacee Raptor, B. Perky Always, Pat L, Lauren H, Serve 16, Annie the Faywild Therapist, Parogi Frenzy, Salil, Bioquart, Bean Rat was innocent Trubb Hopdropper Jack H, King of the Mole People

Under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket-style tournament. Valin. Podge the bitch and bunny bard. Druidic Peyton. Carlin C. Omri M. Noah, the Gentleman Fister. Hashtag honor the cock. James G. Everything Bego.

The Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripy. Reverend Chatterbones. Han. Eric B. Marcos, Ph.D., eventually. Learns the balanced druid. Frida M. Maggie. Holly, the Green Laughing Hine.

Grim Waller, Executive Chef of Bohumia. Aaron B. Russell H., a monk named Dilgo. Yes, the whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody C. Lorelei, the succubi, and Kyra the succulent snack. Cow go truckin. Your friendly neighborhood yaunt and uncle, Andrew, and Sid. Lover of A. Naturalel, Logarisms, John Adams, James F, Wayfarer, now has to do something with the trolls, get rid of them turn to page 42, keep them turn to page 69. Oreo, Barpo Goodbarian, Charlie Brown's best friend, Renee the monster captain, Olivia the enchanting bard and Jared the soap opera cleric who are playing the wedding march for Onyx.

Blue Ash, Fico, Garrett the Artificer, Jay, Kegard, Fancy Matt, the fairies have returned to debauchery and must now go to the Carnal Corner. Cantrip Dumbledore, the bear onesie-wearing barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, Roger L, Nodrog, the Pass a Fist, Barbarian, Jean-Luca, Leon K, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign, shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S, Alexander, Linz W, Sky the Wise, aka the lone dungeon master, the spudfucker himself, Johnny Dudke,

the mischief of Nadpods Familiers, Pavu Escanar, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile. Jake Well Murphily, Tim M, Dragon Night 86, Strungle, the main event, TR, MLG Cheeto, Shelby, Kenneth's first favorite sprite girl, Happy Penderween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Spooky Spiltacular, aka D20 Live in Riva, Mas Vegas, Jet S, Snailist, the Eldridge Snail, Death 2 Tyrants, Paw Paw Sky Days, Memaw Sky Days, Megan N, Genevieve of the Sea, Anthony B, Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Benjamin A, Gimley, the Corgi, Pop-on Foster's K-9 friend, Mikal A, Triple S-tier, Crickwater Enjoyer, Josh H, H, H, Pilot of the The Nightmareverse Flight, the two crew blew through, Kelsey A., Ethan the Mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Nick A.J., Ashesaurus, Seth the Stroker, bearer of all hog-related burdens, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes, Michael L.S. the second, meow, meow kitten, Carl B, plumber of the realm, Ace Dregs, High Lord of Critsburg, Vin Diagram, Catamilius the Consumed, Cam, the Vampire Frogman,

Dean. Jake W. says, Hi, Mom. Tuesday Cross, only here for the surf and mirth. We Love You Rat Jesus, NatPod fan, and Bar Mitzvud Man, it's Dave O, Steve L., Tyler McEm, Gawd, Zibbuckery, Kaley, Katerina C, Misty, the Krispy Kitty really hates flame skulls. Greg W., there's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you. Thanks, Greg W. Baruch Thunderhelm, Fifth Generation Minotaur, working as an, Bandon, Labyrinth Tour Guide, Chupac Aubrey, Boney is Dead, The Waterworth, Your Four-Legged Greg Companion, Nick, Amy, Agus Kunari, Ignition Class Petal Storm, Not a DJ,

but We'll Still Take The Gig, DJ Drama Mean, Chef Julie B, Mama Mayhem, still waiting for Emily's first substack, Jen Rules Kinda, Caitlin H, Buttwax, Thomas C, Dark Lotus Creations, Joshua H, Jacob M, Louis H, AJD, and finally, Ben V. Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you to all of our listeners, all of our Patreon subscribers, and of course, our Benevolent Council of Elders. You can catch our after show over on the Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash Nadpod.

Until then, we'll catch you all next time. That was a hate gum podcast. What's going on? It's Lamarne Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a new girl rewatch podcast now, on HeadGum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it.

Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes team. We react to re-watching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet.

I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia, Rodrigo. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.