Not As We Planned - 89. It’s Giving… Love Bomb

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

We share a story from a girl who tash met, when you realise you are with a serial cheater and the confessions of a micro penisLink to our shop - www.notasweplanned.shopProducer: @TristanHehirCity Lights by Ghostrifter Official | https://soundcloud.com/ghostrifter-officialMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported (CC BY-ND 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys! Hi! You're listening to Not As We Plan. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel that I am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hello guys and welcome back to Not As We Plan. The sun is shining. Sun is out, well we can see from your outfit.

Sun is out, legs out. My eyes. Yeah, touch stress to the wrong city. Yeah, you've driven me slight. Clusterphobia and something. You know, but I'm not hot right now, are you? But you've been out, you've come to me. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun.

For anyone that can't see, Carly's getting her tits out. Get your tits out. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, you're alright. How's your week? I mean, I don't feel like I've had the best few days. No, you haven't. Have I?

I feel like I've just been in a bit of a funk and I did share it on my Instagram and I don't know if it's like, like in line with I've come off the pill and for anyone that's like gonna get all excited like I'm not trying for a baby, I'll let you know that now, I was just experiencing such horrendous migraines on the pill. I say on the pill, on my period. So I've been told that I should come off of it. And I don't know whether it's just like my hormones are like adjusting and all over the place. I just feel quite meh. Do you know what I mean?

And then when you're not in that right head space and like everything starts going wrong. I woke up on Tuesday being like I'm going to be so productive. I'm going to drop the kids off. Then I'm going to quickly go and get a pedicle because the sun's out and I need my toes to be out. Then after that I'm going to go to the opticians and get my sunglasses, my prescription put in, and oh, these glasses are broken. And then I need to go and buy the kids some school shorts.

The nail place was shut. Oh. I was annoyed about the glasses because I didn't realize how expensive it was to change it into a prescription. Then I went to Sainsbury's, Tesco's, M&F. Next. There are no Navy shorts anywhere. We are on a Navy shortage. The sun has come out and everyone's gone and got their kids some shorts. Blake, bless him, is in these really snug, like last year shorts. And I

was getting my, you know that scene from White Chicks where there's like, suck it in, you don't need a school of science. I just, she felt so bad. I don't need a foster app. Come here. No, no, no. Yeah, so bless him. I feel like he can't breathe at school,

but do you know what? On reflection about Blake, like he has been, I don't want to jinx it, like he's been really good in the mornings before school because normally it is quite a challenge to get him to school. I was really surprised that he'd put the shorts on because obviously he's quite sensory sensitive to trousers being too tight, socks not being on the right way. You're like uniform in general getting them ready for school in summer is so much easier. Oh my god, he just shoved in one of those summer dresses. It's just the jacket. I getting them ready for school in summer is so much easier. Oh my god.

You just shove them in when they're summer dressed. It's just a ducky. I don't have to worry about coats. I know. That is one thing I must say, like I love about the summer. But other than that, I'm trying to think if there's anything else. Oh yeah, so last weekend I actually ended up spending all a Saturday day with my boyfriend's girls, which was so cute because it was my weekend off from the kids and it happened to be a weekend, like

his days fell on a weekend that week and he wanted to really go to a football game with his son, like an away game, so it was quite far. And obviously, normally he would have just had to drag the girls with because he doesn't have like any family nearby to help and they actually asked if they could be with me so I was like okay this is cute so we literally had the cutest day, like a proper girly day, like we went shopping we went out for lunch but it literally just felt like I was with like two friends it was really sweet and it was nice quite a few people messaged me after saying that they saw me.

But I think maybe they were confused and didn't know if it was me. That someone messaged me being like, you either have an identical twin somewhere. Because I obviously wasn't with my children, no, with other children. They didn't want to approach me. But it was just really nice.

And I feel very lucky that, I know it's still early days, but I feel very lucky that we've sort of found this way of getting on so well with each other's children and our children getting on so well. I don't know if that's rare or not, but yeah, I just feel like it's really like falling into place very nicely this weekend. Do you know it's bank holiday coming up? Perhaps I'll little sick. So on Sunday we were all going to Legoland together because we had to reschedule that

because we were going before, but Ivy wasn't well. And then we're all going to do a sleepover at him. Yeah. So that'll be interesting because my kids wake up very early so I have warned his kids, like my kids at the arises, like they wake up at like 10. Still? Yeah.

When I say his house he's got the kids I wake up at like 9.30 I look at my phone and there's just like silence in the house. I'm like this is just so weird. Like how do you train kids to do that? I can't even when I don't have the kids I wake up at like half six. Yeah the body clock is used to it. And so yeah we're doing sleepover and then we spend the whole of Monday together. So I think it would be nice, that's going to be the longest time they've all been together.

That's good. Do you know what, I actually had someone message me, and I did tell her to send it on the question of the week, so maybe she will, but I had someone message me asking if our kids ever argue and if so, like, how would you go about it? I want to check if it's on the question of the week, but I haven't experienced that yet, but I know it's going to happen. It will happen. Kids clash, people clash. It's like anyone in close proximity living together clashes.

Even like friends at school have falling outs and stuff, but like, look, it's inevitable it's going to happen at some point, but I feel like what is nice is we parent very similarly. I think that's always quite an important part of finding a partner where you both have children. It makes it a lot easier if you parent in a similar way. But yeah, what about you? Look like you've come off on the beach. Well, some stuff I'll talk about on Patreon. I did go on a date on Friday. Can we just? No. We're going to talk about it on Patreon. All I was going to say was like you kept messaging me. We're going to talk about it on Patreon. Look, I did my first date and yeah. Do it for the

plot. Do it for the plot. No. It's all an experience isn't it? Absolutely. We're all here to experience it. I think what my catch up is, so yeah, went on a date, I had a big family party at the weekend which was so nice. You mowed your lawn? I'm now a lawn influencer. That's about a thing. No, I've just made up. A garden, a god. Honestly, I've never had so many messages in all my life over my fucking lawn saga. It's taken me nearly a week to mow my lawn. I mean, I will give you an A for effort. No, you can't. Persistent.

Yeah. Good. Yeah. My next door neighbour who's like my other mum, and she looks like she's like, darling. She's like, look, she's been watching me there with a strimmer nearly cutting my feet off. Honestly, I've been cracking up at the messages this week, but I did it. Yeah, no, do you know what? I'm feeling really happy and positive.

I do think the weather helps. And yeah, I mean, I might do a bit of a more of a detailed update on Patreon. I'm just wary like anyone has access to listen to this. Including the guy you went on a date with. Yeah, yeah, him. And yeah, I'm talking to a couple of people. I might have a date lined up this weekend, which is actually someone I'm quite excited about going on a date with. I feel like we've had really good, we've been talking for like nearly two weeks now. I know though. It's just because he's got a kid, I've got kids.

It's really hard to line up child free time and... What's his childcare situation? How often does he have his child? Like, similar to what my ex-husband does. Fine. So, it's fine. It's more... Do you have the same weekend? Yes.

That's nice. Let's not get ahead. Sorry. Well, we're going on one bay. Sorry. I'm actually planning our double day. I can't wait. We're not. And this is it. This time around, I think I'm very prone to falling hard and fast.

And I think this time I'm very cautious and take this back. You know, I was exactly like that with my boyfriend. I remember like ages, like people were like, you know, this could be your past. And I was like, like, I'm not saying that. I'm not even thinking as far ahead as a date. Firstly, I might not even fancy him in real life. I think he's very, very attractive in his photo. I think our conversation has been really easy. But who

knows what it will be like in real life. So we're FaceTiming tonight. Because we didn't FaceTime before. Oh my god, that's so exciting. I'm so busy. I do struggle for time. I won't know. And again, I think where I'm so excited. I'm just, I'm so busy. I'm like, I do struggle for time. I won't know that. And again, I think where I'm not like, oh, like I need to meet someone now. I'm just like, we might face that. Well, he's watching the football tonight, so we'll see what happens or tomorrow. But um, he supports us.

He doesn't support us. I don't know. Um, I sure hope they're playing tonight. They are playing tonight. No, he's a Man U fan. Anyway, like for me, obviously, we've got this date lined up, but I wanna do FaceTime. I think you could tell a lot of like,

whether there's like that chemistry and also like, people post their best pictures, you know? I'm not saying, we're trying to sort it out because it's a day where I get the kids back at six o'clock. So yeah, they date. He said, let me know. Do some emails. So actually the other day, I bumped into the nicest, sweetest girl and she told me that she listens to the podcast and she's drawing Patreon and she's listening to all the episodes and she has emailed in and I've seen that her emails come in so I'm going to share it because she was just so sweet, such a delight to me. So let's do this. So apparently we've actually already read out her email but it was very short and

the gist of it was that she felt like she was a bit of an emotional punching bag to her husband and he had told her that she couldn't really speak to anyone about their issues. Yeah, I remember it. I think I remember us saying like, what did we say to her? We were different.

We were different. I think I can understand that and I was like, no, she should be able to speak to other people. So she's written again to give us a bit more. I think we said like we need more. Yeah, I think we did. Hey Tash and Carly, thank you so much for reading out my message on your recent Patreon episode. I'm also now a member and loving it. When I heard you both read my message, I quickly realized that I left so much information. So here's all the missing bits I didn't say

to give you a bit more context to the situation. Sorry for the long email. Right. My partner went through a lot of stress around March, 2024 with his job, where he was worried financially, but to the point where he would completely break down, or where he completely broke down. I tried to be there as best as I could and offer solutions such as therapy, medication, et cetera. He started therapy, which has helped a lot

and later revealed that he had ADD and also certain foods affect his mood. It got to a point where he would obsess about the same conversations every day for weeks and there were a couple of months where I was snappy with him which I later sincerely apologized and took accountability for. Around the time he was experiencing this I was also going through postpartum depression and really not okay within myself. Happy today that I'm now feeling so much better and my pink is definitely coming back. Fast forward to May 2024 and we got married. It was such a lovely celebration with all our family and friends and was extra special that

our daughter was with us too. Things were going really well making plans for the future and just feeling so settled. July 2024 we went on our beautiful honeymoon for two weeks and came back feeling so secure in the relationship. But it all came crashing down a week after we came back. One morning he woke up and I noticed he seemed off so I just put it down to a bad night's sleep so I went downstairs sort my baby out and as I'm feeding her breakfast he comes down and says I'm done in this relationship I want it to be over. I mean, talk about bad dream. I was then shocked and asked where that had come from as he said it completely out of nowhere and he said that I was never there for him and when he was going through all the stresses before the

wedding he then in front of our daughter called me a fucking cunt and a bitch and said that he doesn't care about me or respect me. That is disgusting. At this point I was in tears hysterical that he was doing this to me and in front of our baby and he was saying that what a relief it felt to say those things. He eventually left for work and I scrambled to find couples therapist as I think that we really needed some help with all of this. That whole day I was in floods of tears thinking who the hell have I married. I mean it's just so odd to just go from one extreme to the other. I'm not convinced that's all it is.

We had couple therapy for a few months as well as our individual therapy that we are still doing. I thought it was going well but then it happened again a few months later in October 2024 when I disagreed with something he said and he threw my baby's water bottle across the room and called me a fucking bitch and that I keep dismissing him all the time. These moments are often met with all the I'm sorry's a few hours later that he wants to change and be better. When he stresses he will still slam cup his hip things, start swearing under his breath and be unapproachable. He's made me feel emotionally unsafe and not want to be intimate with him at all. Having said that, he is a fantastic dad to our daughter

and contributes a lot more than I do financially, which is why I'm so torn on what to do. I don't know what a life as a single mom would look like for me, and I'm also feeling super embarrassed that we've only just been married for under a year. I honestly tried so hard to offer solutions to him, how to communicate better, how to emotionally regulate, seeing alternative therapies and journaling but he is still like this. He doesn't want me to message my besties about

all of this, saying things like, that's going to go straight on the groups now isn't it? And gets annoyed when I want to spend some evenings early in bed because I'm tired. We booked to see a lady that Shelley recommended for a couple's intensive session at the beginning of June so I'm hoping for a breakthrough from that. So that's the end of the email just for anyone that's wondering. So Shelley is someone that I have gone to. She's a relationship specialist. I've gone to her for over like seven years and Carly has recently started seeing her and Shelley actually recommended the person that she is going to to me and my ex-husband for the intensive course as well and I think the thing is for me I'm not for a second

saying that that therapy won't help you I think me and my ex were far too we were at a point where we were too far gone. He was lying through the therapy so it didn't work. But it sounds like he's got some kind of anger issues that he can't, he's not able to manage and regulate himself to respond because it seems that after this he's saying sorry and I'm not excusing him by any stretch of the imagination and actually I think it's- What's ADHD? It's a form of ADHD, solves attention deficit disorder. So it's not the hyperactivity part.

And she said, hold on, did she say that he's on medication? Yeah, I was going to say, I wonder if, and a lot of that does sound like to do with the ADD. I'm only saying this, I grew up with a sister with severe ADHD and a lot of like explosive episodes and like reacting and thing and not being able to manage your emotions and articulate things properly. And it does have an explosive outcome often. And I do wonder whether if he gets that under control and has the support with that. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here, I think, because I think on one hand, what I hear is a man who is shouting out for help and needs a bit of support. And

I'm not saying you're not doing that. It sounds like you absolutely are. And by no means should you have to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life and be worried about when his next outburst is. But I'm wondering if he can get some kind of help and control for that. And again, like you're doing all the right things like the therapy together, things like that. But then at the same time, if this is going on for good, like you said, look, you've not been married a year yet.

I would personally keep persisting and being like, maybe this is just one of those really hard times in our relationship and there are gonna be peaks and troughs in relationships. And maybe we need to stick it out and push through and explore every single avenue we can to make sure we don't give up on this and we can support each other.

Like, you know, you have postnatal depression, he's got this going on and it's life, life, life. So we can't help it, but we've got to be there for each other and not give up. But at the same time, if it then carries on going on and on and on where changes aren't happening and your needs aren't being met and you're left feeling a shell of a person, then you know, I never want anyone to doubt that they would not cope as being a single mom because I think anyone who's ever become a single parent in their life will have had those thoughts in their head and I guarantee every day they wake up and they're proving themselves wrong. You can absolutely do it.

There's nothing that makes me or Tash or anyone else more special and have a natural ability to be a single mom than anyone else. I promise you, you just find the strength to be able to do it and you'll absolutely thrive. So I don't ever want that to be a limiting factor to make you want to stay with someone because you don't feel like you could do a good enough job with a single mom. Well on the financial side of it, I know it's all very daunting and so many people say that they kind of stay for the financial reasons. But I think the thing that stands out for

me though, I do think that, and I agree with everything Carly says, it would be interesting to see if he would be open to take medication because that could make such a massive difference and what a waste it would be if it turns out that medication could completely help him regulate and not be so angry and not lash out. It would be a waste of a marriage and a relationship if you didn't at least try that. But what I would be quite wary of, I really don't like that he's telling you that you can't speak to friends. It's not his place. So please reach out and speak to friends. He doesn't need to know that you are doing it.

Yeah, don't announce it. But I also don't like the empty threats of throwing away the relationship, you know, like waking up, coming downstairs and I'm done with this relationship. Like that's it. Yeah, that is so toxic. It's not fair on you. It's not healthy. And I think that when you do have therapy together, I think that that is absolutely something that needs to be brought up. That it is like a no negotiable of yours to not have your relationship thrown back in your face because it just isn't okay. I agree. Keep us updated.

We'd really like to hear from you after June and it was so nice meeting you and I hope you can move your things around to come to the event. Also we want to actually like address something that we did that we've never done before and we feel so bad. We're taking accountability for our mistakes. Yeah, but we started reading a Tinder date fail email two weeks ago and we literally read about two sentences and then we completely got a sidetrack talking about ourselves. And then we never finished your email and we cannot

find it. So please, if you are listening to this, please we can't find it anywhere. Please we send it again because we feel so bad that like you would have probably been quite excited to start like hearing your email and then we forgot. So please will you send it in? Sorry. Okay. Betrayal Trauma. Oh dear. Hi girls. First of all, a thank you for sharing your stories and advice. It's been so comforting and hopeful for me to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel when you're suffering from betrayal trauma. Here is my story. I met my ex on a trip to the US.

Oh, okay. Well, I think we've got girls. It's we're talking about two girls. Okay, love that. Love that energy. So I met my ex on a trip to the US. She was with someone else at the time and we were part of the same friend group and kept in touch when we got home. After the trip, we all stayed close and a few months later, she was with someone else at the time and we were part of the same friend group and kept in touch when we got home. After the trip we all stayed close and a few months later she got engaged to her girlfriend. Two weeks after the engagement, the four of us met up for a girls weekend at a caravan park to celebrate. That night whilst out at the bar she came up to me and said,

"'You're trouble for me.' I was stunned. She'd just proposed. Later that night she came into my room saying she felt something for me and was suddenly unsure about the engagement. Oh geez. It's giving movie. It's giving rom-com. Yeah. And I told her clearly she needed to figure things out. She was engaged. She wanted something to happen but I didn't let it. Good discipline. Still, she called me her person after a few days of knowing me.

Heather That's weird. Sarah That's weird. Giving love bomb. Heather Yeah. Sarah On the way home, she messaged saying she told her fiance she had feelings for me. Wow, what a whirlwind few days for that girl. Engaged and then told that. What about feelings for someone I've just met? No. A few days later, she asked if we could all go back to the caravan park together to see how things were between us. I was baffled. She had just submitted to having feelings. Why involve

her fiancé like that? Eventually, she convinced me the relationship was over. She said they were living separately and just waiting for her ex to move out. We started a long distance relationship, me in one part of the UK, her in the other. Later I gave up everything and I moved to live with her. For a while things were genuinely good. But four and a half years in, years, everything changed. She joined a gym and met a woman she described as just a friend, who was new to the area and didn't have many people. I encouraged the friendship. I thought it was sweet she was helping someone settle in. She started helping her with her dog, texting often, seeing her more. I trusted her. Then one day she got in the car and said,

I need to tell you something. The woman had kissed her and then she admitted she had led her on. And then another bombshell. She confessed that on a work trip something had happened between them. She said she hadn't wanted it, but she felt pressured. I was devastated, but I wanted to believe her. She told me this girl was obsessed with her, that she felt trapped. I believed her. We did 18 months of couples counselling. I thought she was remorseful. I thought she wanted to make it work.

But not long ago, it all started again. Another new friend. Same script. She has a girlfriend. I'm just helping with her dog. And then it became she's taken her girlfriend to hospital. I'm just helping out. She took me shopping, made it seem like she was cooking dinner for our mutual friends. Turns out she made our favorite dinner for this girl.

This girl sounds like a serial cheater. It sounds like she has the same patterns, doesn't it? You were that friend. Yeah. Then came Valentine's Day. She was away on a work trip, but promised she'd be home to cook. Said she was just going to a gym class first. She wore my jumper, my perfume,

but I noticed her location hadn't moved, and she was in a car park. I called. No answer. She texted, in class, can't talk. I called a friend who usually went to the same class. It had been cancelled hours earlier and my ex was the first to reply to the message. I drove there, found her in a car with the girl I wasn't supposed to worry about. Oh my god, imagine. It was terrible. Oh my god.

The one she said was boring, ugly, had no lips. And she denied it all. Said they were just talking. Said she was using her for comfort. That we hadn't been good. That this girl didn't mean anything. She was crying, begging, saying she didn't want to lose me. She was about to leave for a three week trip abroad and said she'd used the time to get her head straight. While she was gone, I moved out and I started putting the pieces together.

I reached out to the woman from the first affair. She told me the truth. It was my ex who had pursued her. She was told we had been over for a year. But I was moving back to Scotland. They spent most days together. She met her friends. They were a full on couple.

Oh my god. My ex even posted her on social media hiding the stories from people who knew she was still with me. That is a different kettle of fish right there. Wow. Who knew? What? Like, what's the word? Like... Calculator. Calc... what? Like... It blows my mind that someone can like actually pull something like this off. Sorry, hang on. Oh, okay. And the night she first slept with that woman, she messaged me straight after saying, I miss you. I wish you were here.

She had everyone fooled. You'd think butter wouldn't melt. When she got back from abroad she asked me to apologise. I didn't go. A week later she posted photos with the latest girl. Love hearts and all. Same kind of photos she used to post of the previous one. same lies, same manipulation, and now to say face she's telling people I was abusive. That I hurt her. That's vile. After all of it, the lies, the gaslighting, the double lives, I'm still stunned by how calculated it all was. How she could fake that much love whilst hiding that much betrayal. She destroyed me with her lies.

She made me feel like I was going crazy. And in the end, it was like looking into the eyes of someone I never truly knew. Cold and detached. She discarded me like seven years meant absolutely nothing. I'm still trying to process the level of betrayal. I have lost 14 kilograms in six weeks. Wow. Still picking up the pieces, still struggling.

Hold on, what is that in stone? Just over two stones, a lot of weight. In six weeks. Still picking up the pieces, still struggling to understand how someone can do this to another person. Wondering why I was targeted and why I was so naive in the first place to not notice the red flags,

to take her back and put her feelings before mine. But I know I'm taking my time to heal properly. I'm working on myself, my mental and physical health. Slowly I'm rebuilding a heart that was once soft and bold. So you've written this so beautifully by the way. I'm choosing to keep it kind, choosing to keep it open despite everything that's happened. Thank you for reading it. If you've made it this far, I know it's a long story. Much love." I think hearing that email just really shows that some people very much leopard never changes their spots. It's the same pattern over and over again. But the thing is, I don't think they even care for consequences because I guess the consequences are that the relationship's ended.

But it's like they just don't care. And I really hope that through your healing journey, you don't ever take anything as a personal thing on you. What was done to you, I hope you realize is going to be done to the next person and the next person. Because you know sometimes if we are with someone and they end up cheating on us or the relationship breaks down due to whatever reason and then they've got another partner and we always sit there being like why are they happy like how does he become this person.

I think you can know you can be absolutely certain that she is never going to be that person that you need or would or deserve or would want her to be. I think as well, it's what we say often when we hear like someone has cheated and we say, you know, how could that other person who they cheated on with ever feel safe and secure? Obviously, she was saying all those things to you when she was, she'd literally just proposed to someone and it just goes to show like she was capable of doing it to that girl, she's capable of those things to you when she was she'd literally just proposed to someone and it just goes to show like She was capable of doing it to that girl. She's capable of doing it to you. She's capable of doing it to the next one and I think That people can make mistakes

But if they're not taking the accountability and not going away and learning from it They're not gonna change and that most of these people who make these mistakes don't go away and change I think the same path. I think also just be very aware and don't like, I've missed or ignored many red flags in my lifetime, but I think just make sure you learn. I always say if someone has just come out of a relationship or you meet them and they were in a relationship, really watching how they treat the person that they apparently once loved should be a massive, massive sign as to how they could then treat you.

Agree with that. One thing I was gonna say was, I hope you're really proud of yourself because it feels like the fact you don't wanna meet up with her, you got that closure you needed without having to have that final conversation. And I think that's really powerful

for some of our listeners to hear who feel like they need that final conversation. And I think that's really powerful for some of our listeners to hear who feel like they need that final conversation, that you don't need to have it, like you literally don't need to have it. And how amazing that you've been able to step away. And I hope you realize your strength. And I love to hear that people are keeping their heart open after having it completely torn apart

because we shouldn't be tarnishing everyone with the same brush. There are good people out there and sometimes you have to go through really bad experiences in order to be more clear about what it is you're looking for, to learn certain lessons and you know your person will be coming your way. I don't know if this is a joke because you can't do that to me. My life didn't go as planned and I think it's worth sharing, okay? Hello.

I'm reaching out again regarding the message I sent a few weeks ago and wanted to follow up because I truly believe my story could resonate deeply with your audience. I'm in my late 20s. From the outside, I come across as confident, attractive and well put together, but privately, I live with something extremely rare and difficult to talk about.

Don't laugh. You're actually going to hell. See that? I see you. Although I was born with an exceptionally small micropenis, less than one inch when flaccid. It's a reality that has shaped my identity, my relationships and my sense of masculinity in profound ways. I mean, I can completely understand that. And you can do about it. Yeah, I'm really sorry for the way I just acted before. It's not not. Imagine like having something that you can't help.

Do you know what I think it was more I was a bit shocked I wasn't expecting. I mean even going from like breakups to like talking about Willis. Yeah so it just it just yeah. Anyway. This story isn't just a physical difference it's about navigating shame, humor, adaption acceptance, and the long ongoing journey towards Southworth. What makes it even more important to share is that this topic is almost never talked about publicly. Despite how deeply it affects the lives of those who experience it,

your podcast, honesty, and compassion gave me the courage to think my voice might have a place here too. If you're open to it, I'd love the opportunity to share more, and it would be helpful for you to better understand my story. I'm also willing to provide photos. Dig pics? Or any additional content that you might need.

Thank you for considering it and for the work you do to create such a thoughtful space. Look forward to hearing from you. Do you know what? I know we laughed. I think it was more just like, it is sometimes I feel like our podcast goes from like crying, so like now we're talking about Willys and it's not funny and actually... No, when I actually think about it like I do apologize I know that was really like insensitive of me, like I can imagine that that must be detrimental to some relationships and

your self-worth and the confidence that you have in the bedroom. I know we've spoken about it before and we joked about it a bit but hand on heart like there are so many things that you can do to pleasure a woman that do not involve I know but I feel like it's also like I've just said like it's a big like masculinity thing isn't it? I feel like you know what it's like growing up with men and like in the showers together, like how that would feel as a teenager getting changed or whatever. And I think, again, a lot of what we do talk about is that self-worth and

that self-acceptance. And I know it probably sounds really, I don't know, well, this is Karl Cross is like patronizing or anything like that, but like, you are so much more than the size of your penis. patronising or anything like that, but like you are so much more than the size of your penis, like that's the right person is going to see you for you. And like Tash said, there are so many other ways of being pleased. I also think for probably quite a lot of women, it's not necessarily about penetrative sex, you know, it is about other things that are enjoyable. I guarantee you, if we did a survey with women and the question was like,

are you more likely to get an orgasm from normal intercourse or like oral sex? For play. Yeah, for play, they would go with that. Probably. And I want to bet that in the right- I'd be interested in hearing more though, like I said like... Karly wants a photo.

Karly wants a photo of your penis. Send it in. I never said those words. That I've got enough date pics for you to hinge on. I'm joking. No, on a serious note, you're right. I think people in our society, it's like, it's one of those things that isn't spoken about. So it people can joke about it because it's, you know, it's,

I think when you hear it, you do have a bit of banter and like, yeah, small willy. But like when you actually think about it, you're living and breathing it every day and it's part of your life. So I do really apologize. I haven't offended you. Yeah, please feel free to write in and offer us. Okay, guys, we're actually gonna do a new segment because we do get asked a lot about loads of stuff. Like we do when we post like even some of our teasers, we get asked certain questions.

So we've decided before Art Confessions of the Week each week, we're each gonna name a product of the week. Yes, and I've actually got one that I've used today. So I'm really like exposing myself. But I mean, I'm 36, I think it's inevitable for some people. I have some greys now, so I now have to get my color done every five. Couldn't talk about like something way more personal.

So I have to get my color done now every five weeks, but if I'm honest, I could be doing it every three weeks. And I think now because I'm dark, so I used to be blonde. And if I was blonde, I don't think it would be as obvious, but you can see in my parting that I've got gray. So right now, can you see any? Right, because I've used a product that I swear by. So it's the L'Oreal Magic Touch.

And it's a can, it's a spray can. Can it come off though, I'm sure? If you were to wear a hat. Maybe. My worry would be what if I went to the gym with that on, would I have like brown or like a white thing? No, no, no. I mean, I can't be sure because I haven't done that yet.

But for me, if you're going out, I think also, it's, I mean, most people are taller than me, if you're going out, I think also, I mean, most people are taller than me, I'm five foot one, but. Everyone seals up with your head. Yeah. And I just feel like that is literally my boyfriend's view. It's like the top of my head and like how gross, it's fricking grey. Anyway, I sprayed it on this morning. The difference it makes me feel when I'm getting ready and going out for the day and I don't have my grey showing, it's so reasonable. You can literally get it online,

boots, whatever. So if you are struggling with roots of any colour, whether it's, you know... Also, I reckon, so when I scrape my hair back, I feel like it's thinner here. I wonder if it would like to pull out my colour. It does. And also, do you know another thing that people have used it for, which I think is genius, a bit of a hack? You know, it's not just people like little freckles. I don't get this. Do you not? I think it's because I have freckles. Maybe, I have none. I've seen people use it before, they do a really light sprit on their face, it works wonders and it gives them really little... because it is that sort of like glowy summer look, it is

quite nice. Anyway, I've seen people use it for their face believe it or not so um yeah give it a go it's a good root coverer. What about yours? Mine no one can see. Mine is my tan at the moment Tasha even said to me what tan you use yeah it does look really good and it it is F in tan. I have been using her since last, I feel like you need to spell it out. E F F N. Go and follow her. She sells on Superdrug, her own website and also recently PLT. But, so I was always using the, like, the overnight one.

She's recently launched a Express Tan. You don't have to sleep in it four hours on. Beautiful. I use the Ultra Dark. Her products are really really different to other tanning products. So what's that? The fairer you are, the darker the colour you should use. It actually works with your skin tone. So you'd want the dark one. It's a little color. No, but I am. I'm really fair. I use the ultra dark, but I would experiment around with it.

So I use the ultra dark all over my body. And then I use, she's got a face mist that I use before bed and night. And it gives you such a nice glow. And then I've just got the Be Perfect stuff on today. No foundation at all. And yeah, can't recommend it enough. It's honestly like, I keep getting sent tans to try and I just can't try them because I'm

happy with where I'm at. So that's what I'm using. Go check her out. She's brilliant. Confession of the week. Okay. This is really cute and funny. Oh, not my confession, but my nana's. I love a nana's. Go on, Nana. We haven't heard from a nana in a while. No, we haven't. My nana and granddad were both hairdressers and worked for John Lewis back when they had a hairdressing. Was there a side?

I didn't know they did. My granddad was head of hairdressing there and was known to be very flirty or flattering to his clients. Granted. Oh, from right here. to his clients. My Nana found out he had been doing the dirty and cut all of his suit jacket arms off and made his suit trousers into above the knee shorts. I love that energy Nana. I love that. Absolutely love that. Someone's that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. relatable to most of our listeners, but I'm worth more than the size of my penis.

Or the size of my tits, or the size of my arse. Or I'm worth more than my body size. You will, you will. We get so, I mean, talking from experience, like I always think to myself, I'd be so much happier if I was skinnier, but there's those skinny people that aren't happy. You're happy though. You're happy you bitch. No but your size should determine your happiness. Yeah you're worse than your body shape. Yeah absolutely. Your image, then what you see. It's about what's inside that counts. Eh Munger? Love

you all. Go sign up to Patreon you're missing out on some caucus. Bye. Love you.