Not As We Planned - Colin @loudsingledad: Our First Male Guest! A Man’s Perspective on Separation, Coparenting & Dating! | Not As We Planned Podcast

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

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Hey guys. Hi. You're listening to Not As We Planned. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel the high am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Not As We planned. We've got a good one. We have got something special for you, girls. You can thank us later. You know, I feel like if you're listening right now, Now you're going to go, want to go over to YouTube and watch instead. Oh, yeah, you are. Because we've got our first male guest. We've got a little bit of eye candy for you. If you're into a bit of tall.

Dad. Dad's curly hair. Ex-runner. Bit of humour. We have someone who is a single dad. He's, you'll probably have seen him online. And if you haven't, you're probably going to want to go and follow him after today. Let's get on with that.

Let's do him. Okay, guys, we are so excited. introducing our first ever male guest. You're welcome, ladies. We have got Colin. How do you feel about being the first man to sit on the sofa? Yeah, I'm nervous. I feel like he should have got him a crown.

What? He should have got him like a crown or a little badge. He could have worn my black veil. I'm worried. I'm fine. I feel like you feel a bit nervous. I'm nervous of you. She's intimidating.

I'm nice. Yeah, you'll be fine. He bought me biscuits and he bought you flowers. I don't know if I should be offended or not. Look, you know. You put it out there to the universe. No, he got me my favourite biscuits, so that's really sweet. What shall I bring?

You said biscuits. That is true. But when I bought them, you were disappointed and I feel bad. I mean, standard. Communication, pass. Wasn't enough. It clearly didn't articulate. It's never enough.

Right. Firstly, let's go with that back. How did you end up to be Colin on social media? Like, where's all this come from? When did it start? Well, like the first part of it was that my, My ex-partner got a partner and then the kids started asking me why I didn't have a partner. Classic, me too.

And why. I'm old. Yeah, cheers. And then why I was on my own and why, what do I do when they're not there? And then I was... Just for context, people that don't know. How many kids do you have? I have three kids.

I've got a four-year-old girl, a seven-year-old boy and a nine-year-old boy. Okay. And they just got inquisitive about why I was on my own, what I do when they're not there. And then I'd like made some videos in the car parking liddle, obviously. You love videos. And they love me. And basically I got drunk like that night after I'd done them and then posted them. And then you pressed posts out there.

I don't think I would have if I, if the kids hadn't asked me stuff. Because I would, you'd start thinking it. But then when they start like noticing things and stuff, you are a bit like, oh, actually. And like, obviously you feel lonely and that stuff. And the other thing was I did start to make them because I live in, like, Glasgow on my own. Obviously, I don't sound like I'm from there. No, it was very confusing. When I first saw you, I was like, I don't understand where you're from.

Yeah, desperate for me to be down here. I, should I not be sitting here? And then, so it was also that I was really lonely. And I didn't really, I'd been in the relationship for 14 years and then come out of it. And I didn't really have anyone to talk to. But I had my friends and stuff. But I mean, like, I didn't have. Just context as to where we are now.

How long ago did that relationship? It's like two and a half years now. I was just like, what am I going to do now kind of thing? And I spent the first, actually the first 18 months just on my own. I didn't go out. I wasn't on any dating apps. I didn't like, I just worked, like went the gym a bit. Tried to make myself look better.

Drank a little bit, which is silly when I didn't have the kids, obviously. And then I got to like the June, to like 18 months. Yeah, like June July. It's that last year? Last year, yeah. Yeah. And then just was like, I need to, I just thought, why don't I make some videos? See if people want to talk to you or you could get conversations going.

And then it started off really slowly and like, nice. And I did some videos and just did some talk and stuff. And like, when you look back at them videos, you are like, Jesus. Because now obviously you can just like talk. But at the beginning, you're like, hi, hi, hi, how are you? Yeah, you overthinking. And then you're like thinking. And I'm always 99% of the time.

time one take, just it's not redone, it's not rehearsed. Tash can't relate to that. It's just. How many times you maybe retake stuff? That would be like when we're doing trends. Yeah. Trends are different, you know? But when you're like walking around Liddle, like you're not going to do that more.

I know. I really want to get like better. I just don't have that in my house or like in the car or when there's no one around. Super confident and be able to do that. I think walking around talking, which is something I really want to get into trying to do. We were talking about that, well, it's. If you saw, if you saw, like, if she was walking down the street and saw a man, like,

holding up this high, she said she's getting it. I would know, but I feel, it's not just that, you feel a bit, I don't know, when you hold the phone at a certain angle higher, yeah, I struggle to do it. More people, look, you've seen, most of my videos, when I'm walking, talking, that camera's low. Yeah, I get that. And I'm, like, hiding.

I don't love it. I won't lie, on myself. Uh-huh. And then I'd love to be confident enough to, like, stick it on a shelf, have a chat. Mm-hmm. And Margaret next to me is trying to get her, like, Do you know what I mean, trying to get a salad and bumping me out of the way?

But I'm just not there yet. But I really, like I've said this year, like I'm going to try and just push myself out of my comfort zone. And just try and like do some more stuff. I think it was really refreshing. And like when we ask people, like I think our audience have wanted a male guest on for quite a while. And I think that because of everything we talk about and all the emails we get are quite heavily, you know, female listeners. Most of our viewers are as well. Man hating stuff.

We have been called man haters. It's mad, isn't it? And when we ask them, like, we want a single dad on here. Like, a lot of people said you. And I think that it's refreshing when you see a man sort of showing their vulnerable side or like that. They're sort of doing the way. They're not just jumping straight into another relationship because I think we get that a lot with the emails. And you talk about like the struggles of when you don't have your kids and wanting to like find yourself.

And I know recently, like, we've been talking about, like, you want to make the most of, like, your kid free time and, like, throwing out and doing new things. I think it's, yeah, it's refreshing. Because I think a lot of, I think it's hard. I don't think there's a massive space of single dads online when I do feel like there's a lot of single months. I think, like, there's a lot of, I think there's a lot of perception that, like, say two people go single, it's a lot that the woman just goes away, works on herself, does all the stuff. And the man just goes off and starts shagging someone else straight away. Literally. Yeah.

And I think the perception is that that's what it does because a lot of people, both sides, get really hurt. Most of the time it's women are more hurt than men. That's fact because more women leave men for different reasons for cheating and all that stuff. But there's a lot of men out there that are just like left and then you've got to try and figure out what was wrong with you. If there was anything wrong with you in the first place. So leading on from that, do you think men and women are judged differently as single parents? Yeah, I think like, I think if some women did some of the videos that I did, they'd come across wrong, different. Like, they'd get a different feedback to what I get.

In what respect? Just be more negative. I think more, I think, and I don't mean it in a horrible way. I think just more women can be quite more negative towards other women and what they're doing and how they're looking after themselves. But then also, there's a lot of, and I don't know if they're real or what, but there's a lot of weird men that comment on women. women's videos. Yeah. And I don't understand that part of it. Like what, like one of my friends, she did a video the day and a guy who I, a friend of a friend I know, comment, it's not an absolutely ridiculous on her page. What, like inappropriate? Yeah, just like no one wants,

like all this, like the classic no one wants a single man. I get it. I get it weekly. I get it. So I was just like messaged a few friends and said, tell him to take that, take that away and I apologize to her now. Do you know what's really interesting? Like, what are you doing? With the question that Carly just asked you, I thought you were going to say, men have it worse because I think when, but this might be like my perception being female and yours being male. You're thinking straight away, women have it harder being viewed as like, oh, single mom, like,

oh, God, like leftovers, all of this. But in my head, I think when I think of a single dad, initially when I became a single mum and started dating, I convinced myself that I would rather be with someone that didn't have children because the likelihood is. is if there is a single dad, he's done wrong for the family to break down. But that's always the most of my earlier comments, and I still get them now, are what did you do? Yeah. Why did it break down? What was it that you did? And I don't, it's like, we just grew apart in the end, right?

It was over for a while. We were just living together because of the kids. And it just, you just separated. And that's fine, right? But the automatic response is always, what did you do? Yeah. What did you cheat or who do, who you see and now like, and I get a lot of, and it's kind of frustrating because it's like, you should, why aren't you dating by now? You've got X amount of followers, surely one of them you should be dating. And it's like, I don't understand how that correlates to anything other than you need to find someone that you like, one that isn't the other side of the country, hopefully.

And then you've got to try and build some sort of relationship. And I don't think you should be jumping into, especially if you've been in a relationship for 14 years, or have along or married or whatever it is. Jumping into something a couple of months or weeks or whatever is, one, all you're doing is you're just lonely and looking for someone to fill a void that you've got. Yeah. And I was initially when I first become single was just like, do you know what?

Genuinely, like who wants a single dad with three kids? I mean, that's how I feel. And that's how I think what happens is both sets feel exactly the same. it's just one is portrayed differently to the other. But then it all starts to amalgamate into one where the abuse just seems to be like similar but slightly changed. And like I've recently got a lot online saying like no one's going to want to come and have your kids

when they've already got kids. Like you can't afford to be picky and things like why you're being so fussy with your dating and things. I think it is wild. But what's like what is your split with how. often you have your kids like I'm interested in terms of that question about men and women being judged differently as single parents like in terms of how I don't like to use where fairly is the load of so I have them every Monday every Tuesday Wednesday Thursday every week no

matter what and then I do alternate weekends it's pretty much 50 50 it's it's like 12 days or something short so if I had them on the Sunday night it would be 50 50 I think it is um so I have them Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and I take them to school every Wednesday and Thursday and have them after their clubs on Tuesdays. What was that arrangement? Did you come to that quite easily? Not really. Like, see, the thing is, right?

And it's hard. And some men don't deserve it, right? And I 100% don't, I think, the initial thing for a man is to go 50-50, right? they initial and they all everyone does it right every not my accident no not supplied oh really no well like from what i from what i from what i've from my perspective what i've yeah i'm glad though a lot of men want 50 50s don't want to pay child maintenance yeah yeah yeah and they all and that's almost for the wrong reason yeah and that's their initial like thing so they go down that room also a bit of pride isn't it it's like yeah and it's like i worked from i work from home and when we split i still

worked from home so i saw the kids every day Every single day after school before school. I don't work Wednesdays so I do people are so interested in what I do for a job I get asked it constantly. I do I did wonder. I saw you write something the other day and but I work from home so I work Monday Tuesday Thursday Thursday with my job I can't actually go I could go 50 50 because I could do the stuff but then say I've got to go I can't I've got to do something I've got to go away I've always I've always got to be there Tuesday Wednesday Thursday because obviously that's my they're my days so doing another job. which I'd love to do and go and do something new is hard because who's going to give me them hours again. And yeah, it just ended up being like that worked for us.

Obviously, I would have like, and I'm not just saying it because everyone, I would have them all the time. Do you know what I mean? I'd have them. And we do, like, we have a really good relationship where if like I've come here this today and this my day, so she's, my partner's got ex-partner, sorry. Jesus. Has got, awful.

Has got them. It's got them. and then I'll go back tonight and then get them tomorrow. So we do help each other out. And I've had them for like weekends and extra and stuff. And it's never like I'm always of the. And it took me a while, right? So don't get me wrong.

Like when we first broke up, you are in pain and you are like what's going on and you're fighting over things that don't matter. So it took me a while to get like it's all kid focused. Like everything is, I don't care what you're doing externally. I don't care what you're doing with new partners. It's none of my, because it's genuinely until you get that in your head, that it's actually none of your business. Yeah.

And you want, but it's hard for your brain to say that it's not, not your business. Well, because you've been so used to. Yeah, of course. For like,

how have you managed to separate out like when your ego is like trying to speak up or like there's been. I guess it's almost like removing that emotion out of the co-parenting. I just go now what's better, what's it, what's best. Remind yourself. So for example,

if it's like they've got a school trip and it's this, they're not going to be able to be. to cut like whatever you'd be like all right cool just step back what do they need to do like school uniforms what do we need to buy what what is it that they need yeah not what i'm not what what's best for me and my not bank do you know what i mean like all that stuff it's just trying to figure out separate yourself from your thoughts on them how long would you say it took you to get to a healthy co-parenting relationship about a year maybe like six months still pretty good it's hard though because it's hard because you you go from being with someone and every decision is either a conversation or an argument, right?

Because that's just what, and in the end, that's what you leave on. So you leave on every conversation is an argument or a fight about something, right? Whether it's the kids, shopping, painting a wall. So then when you're separated and then you're brought different things, your initial reaction will be to fight it because you've either been hurt or you're still in that mode of arguing. So until you can get past that point, which it takes ages and you can get, you settle down and you're thinking with yourself, then you can be like, right,

what's best for the children? What do I need to do? It's not easy though. Because some people are really hurt. Do you know what I mean? Some people are like absolutely like, on the floor. Yeah, like completely destroyed.

And I understand when I say, I've got a good, go parent relationship. We focus on the kids and then people message me and say, I don't, he doesn't see like, they don't see. Yeah. And I get, And I 100% get it.

We've always said that with co-parenting relationships, like you can't choose how the other person chooses to show up. So you can be amicable. You can put the kids to. Yeah, yeah. They don't want to. Exactly. You've got to just also work with what you're given.

I'd say like now, I say I'm really lucky that it's just around the children and just what we did. Like, we don't, nothing really up. We don't really talk about anything outside of that and stuff. Yeah. Have you had to tackle like anyone introducing partners to the children? Um, yeah, it's, it's, it's been done. Like, I, like, they've got a partner.

Right. Like, he's lovely and the kids love him and stuff. And what more can you ask for than someone else loves your children and they're not an asshole? How did you feel about that initially? It's horrible. It's like the worst, like, honestly, it's like, it's probably someone taking, like, this guy going to take over, like, how much is he in the house? Like, they're all the genuine thoughts you have, right? Do they live together? What do they do together? What, like, how much does my son and kids love sons? sons love them like and then I got to a point it like obviously initially you just go like mind you're like what's this about this horrible I hate it like why has this happened and then I just got to a point and I thought well genuinely I can't change this right it's

nothing I can do now that's going to amend this situation should not come back to me I'm not going back to her and if I was with someone it would be the same so it's like just knock you're like it's not my business like as long as they're happy and they they they they don't say but they like they obviously like love him like they think he's great and what more can you ask for and I know not everyone gets that situation right they don't but it's like yeah but there's not much you can there's literally genuinely nothing you can do really yeah I think we always say like you can only control the things that you can control and it's but it's hard to get into that mindset yeah because you you want to be you are hurt right because it's not nice in either way like

if someone introduces their kids then you don't know about it or something happens, it's horrible. Like it genuinely is. I guess you've also got ideas of different like timelines as to when that should happen sometimes as well. And what should be said before? Should you be told? Should you not?

It's like, yeah, there's like my opinion is yeah, you probably should be told and then it should be like this is happening. Do you want to meet? And I'm not all necessarily like you should meet them. It's, it is something you want to.

Are you happy with it? Like, and then you get to that. Like we've met and stuff. We've been in this company together and stuff and it's fine. It's just one of them things that you have to get used to. You just never think in your entire life that that's going to be the outcome. Yeah, I agree.

And that's the problem, I think. And no one says to you, by the way, when you're 40, you're going to be single with three kids. Yeah. I mean, literally. Chats shit on the internet. I mean, no one has kids with the plan of not being with them that time. No, I do. Well, I guess some people do.

Yeah. No, I know. No, but I know. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I think it's just, it's one of them things that you never prepare for. And then mentally, you can't just be like, you don't what I mean? Like, I'm this fine. It's everything.

Yeah. And I think, like, if you jump from one thing to another as well, so, like, you become single and then you jump into a relationship, it's not healthy either. Do I mean? For the kids as well. Yeah, because it's just messing with that. Would you say that you guys stayed together for the kids for a while?

Yeah. And what's your take now, looking back, I'm staying for the kids? Yeah, it's not the right thing to do. She's like she's really happy now. And and that's obviously it's not nice. Obviously it's not not night. Like it's nice that she is actually happy.

Yeah. Right. And it's hard to get to a position where you're happy for someone else to be genuinely happy. Yeah. Yeah. Or not you're not, but you're left. Yeah. To find your own way.

Yeah. And but no, I'm genuinely happy for her. I'm happy that she's happy. He's a really nice guy. So you can ask well. What more could you? Yeah, do I mean? Like, there's nothing else you could, like, say.

Yeah. And how do you find your time away from the kids? Like, what do you, do you strike? Like, I just think it could be really refreshed. Like, obviously, we can only really understand it from, I don't know, our own point of view as a mother. Like, I, and I don't even have that many days away, but I still struggle. For me, it's really difficult, right? Because I am from Bournemouth.

I live in Glasgow. family or friends. One of my best friends lives in Aberdeen, which is like three hours away. And then I've worked from home, so I don't really have any work colleagues. And all my work colleagues are ladies who are married, chill, do I mean, they're all, like, so that's not, I'm not going drinking with them on a Friday night. Yeah. I'm not saying that, but that's what you should be doing. But, yeah, I was just isolated. I'm just, well, I am, just isolated on my, and by the way, it's my own fault. So I'm not sitting here saying, oh, look, like, this, where was me, I haven't proactively gone and...

Right. Pay stuff out there. Yeah, like I've gone to run clubs and stuff and gone and done things. But it's hard making friends when you're 40. Yeah. Because there's people who, well, I'm 41. But there's people have got friendship groups and like when I first moved up and my ex was trying to introduce me to her friends and stuff like that. And I was like more than friendly with them.

But they've all got established friendship groups. And I get you can like musty your way in and thingy. but I've got a lot of friends. I'm not going to sound like big. I've got friends. But they all live here because I lived here from when I was 17 until I was like 27. So for like 10 years we all lived together and we did everything and they all still live in London. That's like the thing.

And then I moved away and then I live in Glasgow and then they've all like sort of started to move away from London. So everyone's starting to separate because everyone gets older and stuff. So it's like I had a really strong friendship group. I'm not saying I don't. I still do. but it's just fractured now. And then being up there on my own, back to a question,

because I like to talk. It's just tough because I was only around the children and her. So then now it's just me and the dogs. So it's trying to find and figure out what it is that I want, or not want, but should be doing. And sometimes trying to keep yourself busy, I tell you what, like I didn't think I'd be there, the anxiety-induced person

that couldn't go for the cinema on my own and stuff. But like, first time doing that, I was like, Jesus, and I went the view, and the lights were all still on. You're sitting there like an absolute fanny on your own, like, with your drinking that up. Do you think it looks worse as a man than a woman? Well, yeah, because I used to go to cinema on my own when I was married.

But really? That's a red flag, isn't it? Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. That's weird. I was watching a movie. I was terrible now. I was going to. I was joking. I went to see it last night and I was really unsure whether to go on. Was it good? Honestly. Everyone was like, take tissues or maybe you shouldn't go with a heartbroken, don't do it to yourself.

My eyes didn't even remotely water. I think my heart has turned into life. Oh, no, really? Yeah. Well, that's good news. Yeah, that's good news. I'm now cold-hearted bitch. But yeah, sometimes I think, like, the thought of like a man sitting in the cinema on his own is maybe slightly creepy.

It was busy as well. You know, and you're like, you know, and you just sit. I was like, I won't. As long as you don't go see a Disney film. What did I see? The first time. The first one I saw was that. That 28 years later, I think.

What's that? Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's the first film. I've been loads now. Like, that was the first. It is always fighting the bullet and doing things on your own. Like, I've never really, I've never really really,

other than cinema, ironically. I've never really done anything on my own until this year when I was like, oh, God, like, I, I put, I jumped into, I was that person that jumped into a relationship really quickly. I am a red flag. Oh, so you're like, that's why you were like, telling me to stuff. I think. Yeah. Like put a bandage on like figuring out life of my own

So back last January when I split from my boyfriend I was like oh I need to sit in this and figure this all out And I think that's when I started like doing things on my own And it is terrifying like going out for dinner on your own and stuff And like sometimes people do talk Not have any of it yet You don't need to do yet I'm not ready I think I'd cry like in my pastor

I left you at Nando's for like five minutes So you're like this is such a big thing for me It was. You should have just videoed yourself saying I'm out on my over-dud. You did? I was like, you little fraud. I was there for quite a long time on my own. It was a good 20 minutes.

That's solo dating. I was eating. She left me while I was midway through my kids. I was going to miss my train. Yeah, I mean, I let you off. But yes, I was like, okay, this is good practice. And then I was like to get me home now. Yeah, I'm done.

Yeah, I'm not ready for that stuff yet. So hold on. We've got a lot of questions about dating and stuff, okay? I know. You talk about this online. I feel like I put myself in a corner with the date of stuff, I. We're like ready to come for you.

First of all, we want to know a few things. First of all, what would you say your biggest red flags now that you're a dad and you're dating? My red flags are in someone. In someone. Why do you have red flags that you need to share with us? Yeah. Everyone has a red flag. What is your red flags?

I don't even think I've got one. I can't sit on you over 20 minutes. I've got several for you. What? I'm a little bit toxic. Am I? Sometimes. Maybe.

I've got loads. You are some. I've just tried. Like when you're on the. spot you're like oh god what is it but it'd probably just be like i think mine would be that i'm too funny yeah mine would be that some a red flag is that i think everything's funny and sometimes it's not everything but sometimes i'll say a joke at a wrong time yeah and it will it doesn't come across right and then i'm sitting there thinking like last night went for a drink

and some guy said to me oh he didn't say it to me he said it to my friend he but like he felt like he like he was mouthing off at me and i was like oh i don't do that no more and but like aggressively not of like fight and talk, but just like, uh, rur, a factor. And I sat down and was just like, fuck see. So you make, do you do, do it almost like, so there's no like awkward silence? Sometimes.

Yeah. Not all the time. Like, I can be serious. Don't get me wrong. But like sometimes I do. I feel like you've been quite serious right now. Like, no, yeah, I can be serious. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's good for people to hear.

I think it's just sometimes you can, like, I'm, one of my reflect is I text how I speak. Okay. So it doesn't come across right. So if I'm, the way I, I'd rather voice note. Same. because I can talk and it comes across right but I can I'll text and it might come across like really blunt yeah I'm saying but if I'd a voice noted it it'd be funny yeah and that's kind of I think that

this I don't know if that is a real fuck but it doesn't it and then I have to spend 20 minutes justifying that well I guess we're texting I didn't I didn't I didn't mean to call you I can't I can't you can't yeah I didn't mean so is that not a word you like that I don't know I love I don't love that um so yeah like so yeah so you Yeah, your biggest red flags in a woman. Showing your kids after about five minutes. So you were going to say showing your kids or not? I was like, okay, cheers.

Like, I think it's, I, one, I think you should really just get to know someone. Oh, straight off. Like, you tell people straight away you have kids, I mean, I suppose. Yeah, like, well, obviously it's, it's out there anyway. So a lot of people, so then a lot of people who messaged me must know that I've got kids. I mean, your name on your Instagram is dad. Yeah. And then when I was on the dating apps, which I'm not on anymore.

I'm just like a daddy. Daddy. I'm just sure daddy. Maybe. I mean, I need some extra money. That's going to turn some people on hearing that. Sugar Daddy. Like when I was on the date match before, even though it says kids, people don't, what I realized quite early on is people don't read it.

Oh, I do. Oh my God, like I swipe. I'd have kids, or whatever. Then you'd be talking, you'd say, I've got three kids gone. One of them was because I was English, which was amazing. She, like, voice noted me, and then I instantly voice-noted back. And by the time the voice note ended, she'd un-thagued. She was just expecting like a Scottish accent. Yeah, I guess so.

Look at me, I have brave heart or whatever. No, like I am. People, yeah, they know it's just, it can be a lot though. Keep us another red flag. Just like straight into what's happened with them, which is fine, by the way, and you can get to that point. But I really think you should get to a point where you're having conversations with people. Like, you want to get to know someone who on a level like of just like,

who, like, you're not the mum or anything, just like, who are you? And then if you're already going into like, you've been talking to him for like one night and it's already like, they love me for the secondary right. It's like the anger like, and you're like, the real anger bitters. Yeah.

I don't like that. But then you've got to sit there and be like, yeah. And don't get me wrong right. It is fine because everyone needs to get it out, right? Because at some point, whatever's happened to you is going to come out. Yeah. And you're going to say it. And I say this to you all the time.

Like you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So it doesn't matter what it is. Yeah. So it doesn't matter what it is. But you can't matter what it is. But you can. can obviously say the wrong thing and doing stuff like that really early on. And if it's the other way around as well, so like if I'm coming on like chatting to

us and then I'm like, this is, and you're like, oh yeah, for me, a big red flag is like, yeah, my ex is crazy. Exactly. Like, yeah, no. As soon as someone says that, I'm like, don't get wrong, there are some that genuinely are. Yeah. But let's hold back a bit. But you've got to get to a point where you've got a relationship with that person

before you start all that stuff. Another red flag is just like real forcefulness. In what way? Dominator. We should date. We should go out. And it's like, I don't, like, got a picture of a cat as your profile. Like, what do you want me to do?

So question. But do you know, do you know, I'm a dog guy? Just want a goldfish. I know that sounds really, like that might come across awful. No, it doesn't. I understand. But it's like if I messaged a girl, like when we're going out

or something like that you'd be like what you're talking about you like like you might look at the picture and be like oh at least he's a human or something well you can't always tell or it's like one girl message me like when I first started

it was a picture of a brick wall or like a house like three houses and was like we're perfect we'd be perfect together and stuff I was just like what? It's so complete

do you know another red flag is right I hate this someone messages you you go on their Instagram right you click their picture it doesn't get bigger it's just stays small so you can't see it so they have to screenshot and then zoom in yeah but do you know like sometimes it tells them

no some people don't allow you your profile picture to come up big it stays small yeah no yeah but then you can't screenshot no but then I screenshot that and then zoom in on my phone then it's pixelated so talking about that is because you said something about are you not on the apps like

how are you finding you're getting a lot of attention from thirsty women in your DMs. Yeah. We've seen his DMs. Yeah, you dropped in my DMs. Yeah, they are. Girls, you are thirsty. Go and hydrate yourselves.

Just put in the, to be fair, you were drinking a lot at the moment. Yeah. Just to, um, I'm nervous because I'm just worried what's common next. We're about to get under it. Just looking at the question boxes and stuff. Like some of the things that, some of the questions that we've got that we don't need to go into. I mean, a lot of people are asking, are you, can you date them? They fancy you.

Are you soon, well, what's? your favourite sex position and why we're getting some wild questions so if that's what we're getting we can only imagine what you're getting so what's the weirdest or craziest thing that has been slid into your DMs um do you get like disappearing messages of that do you get pussy pipped nah uh kind of what yeah like disappear messages from like random women and like it just pops up there bent over or something what they are what photos yeah they disappear so you can't Wait, we need more detail. Underwear, naked.

No, some of them are naked, yeah. So you're getting nudes in your DMs. Not all the time, but yeah. Nipples? Boops? Uh-huh. Do you reply? No.

Okay. Colin? No, I don't know. What else? What's the weirdest thing that someone has said? Oh my God, I feel unwell. Um, I can't say. You can.

I just want to sit on your face and store. And you're like, oh, you're like, yeah, cool. I'm not, but admit, all right. I need you to admit, okay? No, I never imagine. Wait, I'm not asking a few messages back, but when you read that message, do you check their profile? Yeah.

Yeah. And then you judge. If anyone says, right? If anyone says they don't, like, even if girls, like, they get sent. You've got to look and think, like, do you know what? Maybe. Imagine they're like, don't I mean. I just don't think my future husband's side.

Then you have my end's of a dick pick. No, like, I think that's such a weird cultural thing, the men thing. Like, it doesn't happen to me as much as it happens to women. Have you stood in to anyone's DMs? That's a yes. Yeah. But they're like, yeah.

But not like bad or anything. Not any pictures, just say, hey, I'm calling. Yeah, how are you doing? Have you, so have you been on dates from DM slide? Yeah. Tell us more. Yeah, they're good. Like, some of them, not great, but some of them are good.

Hopefully they're not listening. Right, just to preface this. Yes. We're not trying to bring you right. I don't use Instagram as a dating app. Okay. Right, just for... Why?

Because it's just for me talking about being a single dad and my experience is... But would you be against it? No. But it's not like... I think a lot of it, not a lot, but some people think that I make the videos just for women. For women, dating. That would be very clever. But it's not.

It's just for me, one, to talk to people and two, to talk about my experience as being a single dad and dating. But I think it's somewhere on the line it's got a bit crossed where people are thinking that, it's for dating. Like I'm looking to, I am looking to date, if that makes sense, but not. But you're not on the apps, are you? No, no.

I've been, I, I, I deleted them, I think, like, September. I just bored of it. It's just awful. Maybe earlier than September. I was just like, I did it for a bit.

It wasn't, they're not real, I don't really think you get a good judge of people. The chat is so forced and fake. And the problem with the apps as well, I think, is that everyone, has another choice, right? And women have more choice than men,

and they'll say, oh, no, they don't. Do you think? But women can, like, well, depending on what your expectation is or what you want, certain just, you could, a woman could just go and get a guy in about two minutes on an hour.

I don't disagree. Yeah, that's not true. Where's the other way around, a man probably has to put a lot of work in. I would say I'd have to put a lot of work in to go on a date or start talking properly to a girl on an app, I think, where,

when it's the other way around, a girl can just be like, you know what? Because you just get, I'm undated with messages, don't you? As soon as you go on, you put your nice pictures on, do your little thirst trap and bang, everyone's in. Everyone's after you. A friend of mine said to me, which is quite interesting,

which sort of matches with what you've said, is men tend to date higher than them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of men have a lot of confidence. I tend to date lower. Yeah, I think. So there is more choice for the women. I do agree with you.

I think a lot of men have a very, Not I don't, just for example, but they have a lot, a higher expectation of what they look like compared to what they can get. Does that make sense? Yeah, massively. So like you'll get like, and this is horrible. I don't mean this in a way because I feel like I'm quite average.

An average looking man going for someone who is way pretty. And I know it's not all about looks, right? 100% it's not always all about looks. But I guess the dating apps initially is that. Well, if you're just looking at an app, it's 100% looks. Yeah. You're lying if I said. My prompts were like Henry the Whover.

was going to HR. Do you know what I mean? I don't get out. Exactly. So, and then, like, we, I'd had a disagreement with my Hoover. So my prompts were drunk. I'd made my prompts like drunk and they were stupid. So obviously people are like, what's going on?

Is this man okay? Yeah, basically. That's what the messages I got were like, are you all right? Like, if you got a bit of, are you got a bit of a problem? And I was like, so it was like one, my, one of my top prompt, I think is amazing, was me and Henry the Hoover have fallen out. He won't do his job. so he's gone to HR and he still won't do anything.

And then it was like... Would you swat? Yeah, he'd be gone, yeah. I'm really bad and I don't swight for many people. But I also put stupid pictures up. I didn't put like thirst trap pictures. Don't tell me the selfies that you sent me the other day for your... Are they the one?

Yeah, I do it all, yeah. They're on your hat. We need to work on this. No, because I'm not going to go back on the app anyway, but I just think, I don't really... It's not that I don't care, but it's just funny. And it's you, I guess. Yeah, it's like, it's not like,

Like, people want to put their best picture, and I get that's what it's for. I've got a video of me, miming. Yeah, they want to put their best pictures up. They want to do that. I've got a picture up there. One of them was me with a face full of pseudacrum. No, Colin, not that. I said to you.

I'm not being funny. I actually think that you, no, no, you wouldn't have. I asked for a picture. I went, please just don't send me the pseudocrine picture. I was just like, maybe part of me wasn't taking it too seriously. So that's on me. Do you think it's almost a bit of a defense mechanism? Yeah, I'll be honest.

I didn't think, and this sounds terrible, I didn't think I was like, not, I'm not saying I'm really good looking or anything, by the way. I just didn't think I was at that, like, I was that attractive. And now you've got all this attention. And then I start making videos and people are like, oh, by the way, like, yeah. And I'm generally not sitting and saying, I'm absolutely stunning, by the way. I'm like, but. Own it.

Absolutely only, yeah. And you've got your new boots on. You're enjoying, yeah, and you're enjoying, like, on our pink rock. Styling yourself. You told me to keep them on, my feet smile. Like, you've got into styling yourself again and enjoying it. And I think that's the confidence is attractive. And on that, I think like you spend a lot of time in a relationship either.

Is you really a glow up? You had a massive glow up. Yeah, like I think you spend a lot of time in a relationship like comfortable, right? And you don't. And then I look at pictures of like when we went out to like weddings. I think, what are you? Like you look like a tit. Like me personally.

Like you look like, like what do you look like? That's horrendous. But at the time you think I look good and whatever. And then, yeah, I just, I just. don't really see it. So then when I'm putting stuff up, 90% of the stuff is just exactly how I am at that point. I don't go do my hair, not changing my clothes, like half of them I'm in a vest looking like a tit. Do you know what I mean? And it's not for any other reason that I've even just put the kids to bed or I've done something or whatever. But yeah, I don't see it. So when I

get messages off women or people, I'm like... Do you get men sliding out? Yeah. No, you do you do you do? Yeah, yeah. Do you know? Really? They're trying to tell you. Have you, have, has anyone sent you a dick pit? No, but they are like, do you want to try. Fuck off. To be fair, I had a message asking if I wanted to go be in a relationship with a girl. I think because I do do some things. I look at it and I think, oh, maybe that is a bit. Would you ever do your own fans?

No. Unless the money was good, don't I mean? But the money is good. The money's great. I reckon people would pay a bomb for you, Colin. Nah. I doubt him. Not yet, maybe no shit.

I'll see what the prices are like. But yeah, no, I never thought of myself in that way or anything. So I was just, it was a bit, a bit of a shock. Do you think it's giving you that confident, a bit of a confidence base? A little bit. I think. People telling you like, I want to, it's really good.

Like, don't get me wrong. Like, it's amazing. But then sometimes it gets a bit hollow as well because you're a bit like there's no. Debt. Yeah. Or substance to it. Yeah. But do you engage in their messages?

Like, don't get me wrong. It's the, it is the nicest thing in the world to be told you are handsome or good looking or that looks good on you. Or I want to be selling your face. I'm like, or do this to me. And it's like, oh, you know what. One thing I will say that I think there is a, if you are looking for someone and it went down that route of meeting someone on social media, I think that obviously your following is probably like 90%, 98% female. Our following is also 98% female.

You don't get, don't get me wrong, you get men sliding in, but they're all like pigs and the things that they're saying is gross. You're probably guessing like genuinely nice, single moms messaging you. People are absolutely, like, lovely. And the people that follow me are absolutely like the nicest people checking every day. Don't I mean? Like the nicest people. You can't reply to every single DM. No.

But I think what a lot of people will probably want to know, would you be open to dating and getting in a relationship with someone that slides into your DMs? Yeah, obviously, yeah. See, I would struggle to be with someone who had so many female followers. Yeah, I think that's another problem as well, though, because then I've opened myself up into a situation where, like, some women just don't want that, do they? Yeah, it's a lot.

I get it. So I put myself in a corner, but I enjoy making videos and stuff. And if I was with someone or whatever, that I'd have been asked, the content would change. Like, I'm not going to sit there doing dating videos,

but while I've got a missus. Because some people would obviously keep it on the sneak and then keep doing what they're doing. Yeah. Like, no point. Just honest. Like, yeah. Here's a question for you.

Like, with what Carly's just mentioned about how she doesn't think that she'd be able to be with someone that's in social media and like, all the women are siding in. What are your thoughts on platonic relationships? Because I think that, I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about it. I'm sure you've got platonic relationships.

Yeah. Well, like men and women. Yeah. Because I think I was with my ex-husband for 17 years, all the male friends that I had were like friends of his or like my friend's husband. And then I became single. But whenever I went into a relationship,

like I didn't really have actively platonic relationships. because they were new relationships. Like, if you became friendly with females or you met a female that had male friends, how do you feel about that? Do you believe that platonic relationships can exist? Yeah, as long as a boundaries are set. Like, one of my best friends is a girl.

Right. She's lovely. Like, one of the best people, I could tell her anything. We have conversations all day about shit. And have you ever crossed that line? No. I know a lot of men, do.

I just think, I think a lot of men's insecurity. Because it's not women's insecure. Well, maybe it is the other way around if they're pretty because that's what it comes down to. So if I had a friend, like we were going out and I was best friends of Carly, he'd be like, what he's doing? You're going to be pretty, Colin.

But you know what I mean? Like, why he's going out for dinner? Where he's hitting Nando's up for. Do you know what I mean? It should never be a date in Nando's. Yeah, I think it's obviously possible. It's more of the insecurities around the other person always. I don't just grow.

I do think in some cases though, sometimes one of the other party is more interested in someone than other. And I do think that's true. It is. They would if they could. See, when I was at, like when I was younger, I had a friend and she was, she fancied me. I knew she fancied me, but we were friends. Yeah. And that's what mine are like.

I would see other people and we'd be friends and talk, but I knew she fancied me. So if she could, she would. Yeah. That's why I don't believe in them. I don't think it's always that way. I think I've just living experience there. Do you think it's quite rare for then not to be one that if they could, they would? I think that it then ends up becoming a difficult dynamic.

I do think that I'm really like easy on stuff. Like if you've got friends who are boys and stuff and you've known them longer than you've known me, I'm not going to be jumping in and being like, you can't go. Yeah. That means you're secure enough. So the thing is you're either with me or you're not. Yeah. You're going to do it regardless.

Yeah. So you're either going to shag the guy or snow or whatever, whether you are or not. And it comes out in the end anyway. Yeah. And yeah. Like, so it doesn't ask me. I just think you do what you want to do. If you are going out for dinner with your friends and it happens to be boys and the boys there,

if I'm insecure, that's my problem. If something happens, that's your problem. Mm-hmm. They agree. Yeah. So, yeah, and then you have to deal with it from there. And I think, yeah, I do think it's possible. I just, it's how you deal with it.

And I also think sometimes it is quite rare. Yeah, it's rare. It's rare. I feel like all platonic relationships I've had with males, as I look back as far as, like, you know. I feel like all the men have ruined it at some point. Yeah, but they're, yeah. Yeah, like, I was best friends with one of my boy, like, best friends. And I think men, I think, I think, I think what happens in that situation is like,

the man. gets, you know, like when you're at work and the girl at work is pretty. She's not stunning. She's not better looking than your wife or your partner. But because you work with her for nine hours a day, you convince yourself that she is the best looking thing you've ever seen in the world. So then you cheat on your wife with her and then realize that actually you were wrong. The thing is that most of the affair stories are what related.

That is the same as like if you've got, if you're friends of the boy for a long time, and it happens both ways one of them just convinces themselves that they are absolutely in love with that person or you get to know each other on such a level that you may not have had that initial attraction but you

you end up falling for their personality which really is what it's all about at the end of the day isn't it? It looks go don't they and then you left like they're going to wipe your bum when you're old you know what I mean? It's true.

If they're not going to do that what's the point? An old man with man boobs and Is that I mean? Skin. Oh, I'm really selling it. Sorry. I want to know, I want to know what the funniest or most awful date you've ever been on is.

You need to beat one of the ones from the episode a few weeks ago. Yeah, I don't, I probably won't. Like one of them I got catfish pretty bad. In what, why? She just had, I didn't, it was right. I said this earlier. Like, she had like loads of, um, filters on and I was new to date and I didn't realize these things existed properly.

I didn't realize a girl could change their entire face. Um, and I'm just who I am, pseudacrem face and all, do you know what you're getting when I turn up? So you're either going to like it or you're not. So there's nothing to do you. So I wonder if Colin's going to look like he does. I don't think he uses filters.

I think we're better in person. I'm on. Yeah, you are. I think most men are. I say that to every men I go on a date with. What do you say? Are you flirting with me? Yeah, how am I doing?

I'm really out of the way. touch. Isn't you doing a good job? Thanks. So she, we, just like a random spare the moment thing.

I was bored. That's awful to say this. I was bored on a Sunday. She, sometimes she just wanted to meet up. We met up and then I walked past her completely and she was like,

Colin. And I like, as in that it wasn't on purpose. You didn't recognize. And then I was like, oh shit. Like, hi. So we did,

I had a little date or whatever, and just things, like, I was just like, it's just not happening. But once you've been lied to. Did you kiss her? No, I liked it. I jumped in the counter, well. Really? After a nice, I was nice about it. But like, you just sort of get, you just feel a bit, I, like, you went away and I was like, oh, you just feel a bit upset.

Like, and angry. You feel like you've been lied to. Wasted your time, don't you? Because you think, like, if you did just. You were going to find out what you'd like. If you'd just been yourself, I wouldn't have wasted a place to be. Yeah. No, like, literally.

But to be honest, I had that. But it's not terrible to say. Because at the end of the day, like, she's insecure enough to change her photo so much that you walked past her, not even recognising her. I had it. I went on a date with a guy. I kid you not,

if I showed you his photos, you would fancy him, okay? He looked so good looking. Those photos must have been about 15 years old. I felt like I was going out for dinner with my dad. When I got home after this horrendous date, where he still tried to kiss me and couldn't read the room,

I burst into tears. I've never done that. I burst into tears because I was actually just like, What the fuck was that? What do you think the pro-a-call is for the kissing thing? In what respect? On the first day? Yeah, so like, I pretty much kiss every first day.

I don't matter what they are, just straight in there. Only if I like that. To preface this. I've just got to get my practice. When we go after dinner later, I'm going to get to the toilet. No, to preface it. To preface this, I do FaceTime before, so I feel like they've had the vetting. No, they've been vetted.

I know if there's chemistry. You've checked their mouth out. I don't. Always. kiss, but I would say, I do often kiss on a first day. For me, if I would like to go on a second day, which I feel like the whole point of the first day. Do you think you should kiss on a first date? I don't think should is the right word.

If it happens, it happens. I would not, I would personally, if I want a second day, I would like a kiss. It depends. Sometimes you want your face. I want to know, like, if you're a good kisser. Same. What happens if they're not, but you're not fit? Then I probably get the it.

Same. But I've never experienced a bad kiss. Ever? On a date. No, I haven't. On a night out when I was younger. That's a different story. But the thing is, I haven't been on that many dates where I've kissed someone.

Same. Yeah, for me, the whole point of the first day is to find out if you want a second. And for me, if I fancy you and I want a second date, make the move to kiss me. Yeah, I love to kiss. But the thing is, I actually made the move. Never have. I've made the move before. Well, you say goodbye.

Like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like. I know, I haven't kissed saying goodbye I've kissed in the middle of the day I've had some in the middle of the date Yeah, no I've had some in the middle of a date But if I feel then I'm like Sometimes where I've had a date where that's not happened In the middle of the date

For that when you go say goodbye And then they go through it. But I feel like the guy should take charge I think it's more attractive for the guy to do it Yeah, I think so I think it's quite nice when a girl does to It's not that happens a lot to me But like it's nice when a girl takes charge of it

I think sometimes I did so with my first boyfriend off my divorce. Did you? Yeah, I made the move. Actually, doesn't shock me. Yeah, he was quite shot. I knew that he would want to.

I think a lot of men get worried about the fact that... Being rejected. No, but I also think, like, they don't want to... Don't want to overstep the bounds. Yeah. Like, a good, good men don't really, like, aren't just going to be, like, straight in on you, like, done or a... I think you can read the body language or some men, like, I should have like that.

Chemistry, the whole thing, you just like... Yeah, like, I went on a date and I, it was, I think, I think, I think, it was, I think, I think, thought it went really well. Colling can't read the room. No, I didn't, no, I, I, uh, did you crack a joke? No, I don't what happened. I thought it went really well. She was really pretty.

Probably out of my league, I think, maybe. Don't say that. And, um, we don't talk down to ourselves. And, um, I thought it went really well. And then it sort of started to tail off towards like the end. You know, like the first, my first 10 minutes was, my first, my first. We were loving it. I was buzzing.

You obviously made some really inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. There's something you said at some point. I mean, I was doing amazing. Anyway, the last part of it must have gone shit. And walked her back to her car, she jived in the car, and said I was actually late and drove off.

And I was just stood there like. Did you hear from her? I wasn't thinking, I knew before this point that it was done. Right. I was just being polite because obviously I'm not going to let a woman walk back to her car on her own. Red flag. I mean, green flag. Not being like chauvinistic or anything, but I'm not, it's just, I just don't think.

Unless the car's right in front of you. Yeah, I know. I think that's the right thing to do. So walked her back, but I could, the whole way back, I was just in my head, because I find stuff funny. I was laughing. So I was just laughing about, because I was like,

you know, and you're like, I know that this is shit. I know it's been shit. And I'm really, I'm really annoyed that it's shit because I think you're really pretty and I quite like you.

And then when she jumped in the car, she might have heard me. I like turned around and just laughed. Because I was just like, fuck. You know, and you're like, fuck.

And then, and then I started like, what did I do? Yeah, You felt like, I thought the first part went well. But the second part, not so good. So what did I do? So I just walked and I walked home just pissing myself laughing.

And then I did that classic thing where, and I'm not normally like this, I just text and said, had a really nice time. Oh no. Oh my God, I'm tired. Did she reply? Like later and said, yeah, it was lovely. And that was it. Yeah. And then ghost gone.

Oh, I'm really bad. I'm not straight. What are your, like, rules on the first day? Like, I want to know, like, so you've been talking to someone and you want to take her out. Do you plan it? Yeah. Like, what, like, I want to know. Yeah.

Not really. Like, I just think I plan it. I'll say, like, where we're going to do. And then sort it out from there. Like, I just think, like. And what are your thoughts on kissing on the first day? I do. I'm 50-50 on it.

It depends. Like, sometimes I think it could be better that you don't and it builds up. But then I also. think that kissing someone on a first date and you don't like them leads them on. Oh no, I would never kiss someone like that. I would never ever do that. I just think it's pointless. And I think the man should arrange the first date.

Absolutely. Do you pay? Yeah. Good. What do you think about sex on a first date? No, I'm joking. No, I'm joking. Someone's getting lucky.

If it happens, then it happens. but you've got to have a conversation. No, not at all. Really? No, because I think some days. When you're grown up. Let's say the date is amazing, right? And you're having an amazing time with that person and you've got on and it's been funny and everything.

And then it leads to a bit more passion. Whether something comes out of that or not is irrelevant. At the time, you're allowed to have fun. Yeah. You're allowed to, I think a lot of this dating when we're older is like you've got to meet someone and that's it. so there's no fun involved in it. And I'm not saying shag about and like fuck around and do stuff. But there is an element of having fun.

As long as you're communicating. Yeah, and you're on the same. And you can say like, sorry, maybe we had a few too many drinks and it led one thing led to another. But it was good. I had a good time. You might not have. But the 30 seconds of passion that I've had is been amazing.

30. Yeah. So like, thank you very, thank you very. Well, if it even, do I mean. If it got there. Lucky girl. I would say, yeah, that's fine. Like not like, it's.

not a big deal, but I do think that we judge ourselves harshly. 100%. I always thought, and I know that everyone's going to be different, but that men would judge women for having sex for the first day. Yeah, but men, I'm not like, I don't know if I'm different on it. I'm just not like that. I, I've done it as well.

So let's say, like, we've, sorry, we've had sex on a first date. You've done it and I've done it. It's not just you. I know, I guess the men that think that it's different. for a woman, but it's got to be done with a man. I think it's a society that thinks it's different. I don't think you're seeing just men. I always go off the fact that I don't care what your past is either.

Yeah. I've shagged 50 men or 10 men. It's not my problem. I don't care either. It's not my. So someone's got a body cat of 300. It's not my issue though, is it? Because I didn't know you.

Yeah, but I didn't know you. Do you ask or do you want to know? I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I generally, it's not something that I think it's your insecurity. Yeah, I agree. So all you're worried about if you're asking that is, is someone better than me.

Yeah, I agree. That's literally the only thing. I don't think I've ever thought about it what you mean in regards to in the bedroom. Yeah. No, see, I think for me, I've always thought about it of like, oh, he's a whore. Like, he'll carry on shagging around.

I disagree. But that might, right, that might be. But also, it's before you. So what we might change. Yeah. And I'm not saying, you should like accept the fact that, oh, by the way, he slept with 300. And he might sleep with 300 more.

Yeah. After he's slept with you. It's just if it's not. really any of your business. There's not anything that, not, not your business, but it doesn't affect you. No, it's interesting. So I don't think I've ever really, not that it's a conversation I had with loads of men, but I've never really spoken to a man that's like, I don't really care about what they've done. I don't. I think everyone's got a pass. Everyone's got, like, stuff they've done in their 20s, like gone mental, right? And whether you want to talk about,

I think you should, like, I'm not saying that everyone wants to, but talking about it, what's the problem? Yeah. You either want to talk to someone and get to know them on every level or you want to lie to them. Yeah. And hide stuff. I agree. Do you think it's a red flag for like the conversation to move like sexually quite quickly?

You do think it's a red flag. Yeah. I do. I do think it can be if it's initial, if it's accidental, which can happen. You can just be chatting. Oh no. It can get a bit flirty. Do I mean, but like it's accidental.

It gets a bit flirty and it's reciprocated both ways. Fine. Yeah. Yeah. If a guy starts going. shares your tits. Yeah, here's a picture of my dick.

Yeah. I met more of a girl. Like, what's going on? If a girl, it is more likely to talk about it. Yeah, it can be off putting in a bit. Yeah.

Only because if you're not there anyway in that part of the conversation and it's both ways, then it's just like what's going on here. Yeah, like how's it turned to this? Why are we talking about like smashing you in or whatever? I don't I mean?

Because everyone goes big, don't they? No one goes like, they're just going to make love to her. I'm going to bend you over. Everyone says they're going to absolutely destroy. you and then it comes to 10 seconds later and they're fucking flopped over. Okay, right. Question.

Dating. Yes. What are like? Maybe later it's fine. I'm there too guys. Well, I've done. Have you ever? What are your thoughts on a three?

What are you? Is that what we're doing later? Tats is asking your thoughts on a three. I just thought it was dinner, but that's where we go. You pay? We've just done an episode about, I'll pay if that's what they are. No, we just did an episode. on polyamory.

Polyamory? Just multiple women and men. No, just. Everybody loves everybody. Like what are your thoughts on open relationships and swinging and all of that vibe? No, I just think it creates too much tension between you. Like the problem with it is that one person wants it. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. In my opinion, I don't think that both people go in willingly. One person loves the other one more or enough to say, I'm happy for you to do that, but they're always disappointed. Yeah, no, I don't. Your whole thought process is is that guy smashing a better than me? Oh my God, yeah.

Do you think? I think even secure people lose their heads a bit. Yeah. Are they having the best, I didn't do that to her. Yeah. He didn't, she didn't do that to me. That, I might be wrong, but that's the,

I'm pretty sure that's the dynamic. Is that like insecurity in your head of like comparison? Yeah, and then all you're doing to yourself is you just be horrible to yourself. Yeah, you're tormenting yourself. You're watching your partner yet. Not for me. It's wild. And you're like, yeah, this is fine.

I'm having the time of my life. Just give me a sock. I want my partner to be obsessed with just me. Yeah, I see. So I believe, and correct me, if you guys think I'm wrong, a lot of my friends say to me, like, when you go, you should be in an open relationship. No, looking for a new partner.

That is always best to find a man that loves you just a tiny bit more than you love them. I'd just be a little bit more obsessed with you. I think. I think I've had that. I think in that situation. one of them is settled. Slightly toxic as well. So, yeah, it is slightly toxic, but I think that if you're...

I don't think you can compare, how do you compare that? I just do, yeah, I just think that one of the two, the one who isn't is settling. I think you're even in love or you're not. Yeah, I think that you should either, it should be 100% together, no matter what it is, or nothing because you can't you can't like someone 50, 40% of the time

and be like oh do you know what the rest of it you need to change but I love that 40% of you because then it's not you don't actually love them you like a version of them that you've like created that isn't actually them so then when it comes to arguing and fighting you've got a perception of who that person is that's not even them.

They're just not that person it's the person that you want them to be and if you love them 100% then yeah then you know exact then that's all of it I guess I was thinking a bit more as like you both love each other 100% but someone's 100%

no because you even love someone who don't how do you measure that someone might just show their love someone will be obsessed to them someone might just show their love in a different way I think people have different ways yeah no I understand that so it's just what's your love language

I was very much of like at like talking There's an affirmation. Like saying, oh, like, you're beautiful, like, you have a good morning and constantly, like, reassuring. But I think it's loads of shite now. Do you? I think there's more actions and, like, doing and, like, actually, like, being present. And, like, yeah, I do.

I think that. Like, quality time. Just being assertive. Like, you can tell someone you love them and they look amazing and mean it. It doesn't have to be, like, every three seconds. I think that if without any action, it's meaningless. Right? So we could be going out and say.

saying, oh, like, you're so beautiful, you're so lovely. And I'm sitting in my pants, you're playing PlayStation. Yeah. I still, I'm still telling you, I love you and I want to be with you and I'm having the time of my life or whatever. Yeah, actually, I'm not doing anything, am I? We're not going on dates. How do you feel like you receive love the most?

Like, what do you need? What makes you feel love? Yeah, actions. Like someone who, like, genuinely. So quality time, would you say? Just someone who genuinely, like, loves you. Yeah, like, just wants to be around you. Yeah.

You get to a point in relationships where you don't want to be around each other when it gets to the end. So then your whole. perception of what you want is skewed because you don't want to be around the person that you're with at the time they don't want to be around you but you're convinced that that's love until it ends or you end it or whatever happens so then for a long time you think this is what that's what I want and that's what makes a relationship and then you're like you end up being like I don't want to be called a cunt because I haven't done the dishes yeah yeah I just want a normal conversation about

yeah can I ask and obviously you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but looking back and reflecting on your relationship with the mother of your kids, what would you change if you could go back? I'm not saying that like, oh, you still want to be with her, can you see things on reflection that you would have changed or what you did wrong? Yeah, it's, yeah, 100%. Like, I'm not perfect, right?

I'm not sitting there saying, I did everything and anything in that relationship and we were the best and then it ended. Because that's not the truth. And that's not the truth for any relationship that happens, right? I, yeah, I would go and I'd, I'd do more stuff. You get lazy. Both people get lazy.

Complice them. And it's, but one person doesn't see that they don't do that. Yeah. Right? And but I think it happens to both people. I think both people, sorry, end up thinking, they don't take me out on dates. They don't show me any quality time.

The other ones, for example, saying, I love you, I think you the best. I'll say, what you want to do you, want to do, blah, blah, let's go do this weekend. Oh, we haven't got any money because the kids, so it ends up not happening and then promises. And then it all snowballs into this different massive scenario where it's like, you don't give me what I want. And I don't give you what you want. And then, but you're still together and then it ends. I just think, yeah, I don't know.

It's one of them ones where it's like I would, yeah, there's things you would change, but I don't think. What would you do differently next time? Like saying you'll never be the same again, will you? No. So it'll never, you'll never have a relationship. like that again. Do you think you could show up differently in a relationship? Yeah, but you will.

Like, you'll be more, like, I'm more assertive and things now. Like, I very like, this is what we're doing. This is what, do you want to go do this? Like, very much, like, book. I know it sounds awful. Like, book a table, go and do stuff. Say, like, let's be here. Let's do that.

Yeah. It's not awful. Because I think that, I just think that, I just think that's very complacent with the fact that that's the mother of your kids. And you go out. you missed all the important stuff. Like it should still be like when you, it's not always going to be like that,

but it should still be like when you first got together and it should be exciting, it should be fun. As soon as you start to lose that part of it, the relationship is going. And if you can't fix it. I saw this thing online and it pretty much said that like rather than dating to get a wife,

you should start dating once she becomes your wife. Not as in like start like, obviously you're going to start at the beginning. But like just because they become your life partner. or the mother of your kids, don't stop dating. That's what happens. It happened to me, definitely, like 100%. And young kids obviously doesn't care.

It takes over because you're like, you're tired from night feeds or you've been and you're working and then like I. Especially the ages of your kids. It's so spread out. It's a lot of years. So you get to a point where it's comfortable and then you have another kid and then you've got less money and you've got less time and just doing simple things. Like there's loads of things that I should have done.

Like we were supposed to go away and stuff. We just didn't have the money and stuff because we had another kid. then you promise we'll do this and then it doesn't happen and when they build up and the romance goes as well once they once them things start you're building up it starts

as like one missed weekend away that you promise yeah then it's a trip somewhere else that you promise that it doesn't happen you promise that you wouldn't do this you don't I mean different things and then you get to a point where you're like there's too many of them now

you can't come back from it and then resentment starts building up yeah I think it's really common and it's natural because you don't actually hate each other you hate what's happened that you've moved apart from each other and you more hate the situation

so you're like, I can't believe that this is happening, I'd be better off on my own and then when it does happen, you're like, oh, maybe I'm not. But you probably are, like she's much happier now and good for her and it's amazing. It's taken me a little bit longer, but...

That's okay. I like that you own. Okay, so before we end with an affirmation which you need to quickly think about, we want to know, for all our listeners who are probably like trying to slide in his DM. I'm literally getting in your DMs right now.

Welcome. What would you say are your three biggest green flags in yourself? Yeah? You're selling yourself right now to all these beautiful listeners. This is like your child. Find for Future why. Oh hold on. He's taking a drink, guys.

Lubricating the front. I can also confirm that he is as tall as he says he is. Yeah, he's not lying on his height. Okay. Biggest green flags. Colin. I communicate well. We love that.

We like an ownership. I'm honest. And if you, in the honesty, like I will, if I'm talking to you and you ask me a question, I'll answer it, whether you want to hear it or not. Do you like my outfit? Yeah, that's nice. But like, yeah, like I just think that's a really important thing. I think, and I don't hide from my past either.

So if you want, like, if it's stuff that you don't like, that's not on me. Like, I can't change it. So, but if you want to know and you've asked the question, and that's horrible, but it's on you, how you deal with that. You're quite funny. I'd say, yeah. I don't know if that's a green flag, but I do. That's a green flag.

I'd say I just love my kids. I know that's horrible. Oh, I love that. But like I, um, it sounds so cringy, but yeah, I just, everything's, my whole life is geared around them. And a lot of the videos I do argue about that. And a lot of people don't like that. A lot of people think that I should put other things first and stuff. I didn't really get.

They're red flags. Yeah, I don't get it. Women say that or men. Yeah, no, like I did a video the other day. I probably should stop posting when I've had a drink. No, please, carry on. I did a TikTok video, which was I'd done it speaking. So I'd already done the video talking and then I'd done it a carousel.

Right. Oh, I know exactly what one you're going to talk about. And then it, but there's no, the only thing is I've spelt stuff wrong because I was drunk. And I've spelt pajamas American, I think, it's got an A in it. I don't know what. We'll forgive you. And the comments are like, you've made this sound awful. I wouldn't want to date you.

Thanks, but no. What was it about? It's just like dating a 40-year-old dad, and it's like, put the kids first, you're not coming on the school runs. But I'd already done the video talking and it's done about the same amount of views, like the same thing,

but no negative. There was no, like, negativity towards it because it, obviously, I was talking and it was funny. When you say you wouldn't have them on the school runs, what do you mean? I just mean, like, we're not... Pardon, like, if you're dating.

Yeah, like, say we're dating, and then, like, we've only been dating like a short amount of time. You're not coming to pick the kids up from school with me. I think maybe people saw that as like once you're with someone long term. Yeah, but that's what the people don't, but it's not about the context when I did the talking video is obviously there. Right. The context when I do it just typing isn't there.

And it's like I'm not saying you're never not coming with me to see the kids. You're never not meeting the kids. It's just a funny line that caused rage bait. I mean, which isn't on purpose. It's just I'm drunk and I thought it was a funny line from the video that I did talking. Yeah. I'll put that in. And people are like,

Like, why would you put that, like, court? Like, and it's like, I don't want you actually come into the kids to meet the kids at school for a while. Yeah. Like, you're not coming. Like, we're not being dating and then we're just rocking up together to pick my kids up from school. I'm not going to go pick your kids up from school. Yeah. Like, that's a, there's a boundary there.

Like, I'm not going. Would you say you're more drawn to dating people with kids? Yeah, I've not, I've not been on a date with anyone that doesn't have kids. Oh, really? Yeah. Would you entertain someone that doesn't have kids? Yeah. There's no, like, thing it's just...

Would you have more kids? I don't know. No, I never say never, right? Because if you're with the right person and if they were younger than me or even if they're same age as me and they hadn't had kids or they really wanted to have a child with you, then yeah, why not? Like, it's life. You only get one go, right?

So another kid and sleepless nights for another couple of years. There's not nothing really, is it? I'm already going, grace. That's not a problem. Yeah, I don't like I'm not I I'm one of my biggest screen files I never put a barrier on anything So whatever you want to do

Don't rule out yeah whatever you want to do Whatever it is that like dream whatever it is I will back that no matter what it is you want to I don't know Go to the moon or have kids I'm in Do you know I mean but whatever it is like it could be the most random thing I'll never not support it It's like if you want to start making videos or whatever So yeah what do you want what kind of video is coming

We all need to get on only fans We'll take some money But do you know what I mean? Like it's, we've got tonight. We're going to be rich. I can't wait. Oh, really.

So yeah, I just think that, I don't know what I'm saying now. Okay, so for our listeners, okay. We want to know. We want to know what criteria you were looking for. Perfect girl. In your next.

In your future wife. Because we know that you're looking for a wife in the wild, okay? This right now, you're writing the CV. Your ideal, you're manifesting, you're putting it out to the universe, who is she? What, like, celebrity or like, I can just say? No, no, literally, qualities, qualities, all right, like so they do.

Looks personality, mom. Right, looks wide, they just got to be like. 10 out 10. No, no, it's just like what I deem is pretty. And what I deem is pretty is like what somebody else might not deem. So what I feel is pretty. And I get told off using the word pretty because apparently it's not, you should say beautiful.

stuff but I think pretty is a nice word um and they're caring funny like you have to be like don't take themselves seriously at all because I think a lot of people if they take themselves too seriously it's just not fun and then they look down on you for not taking yourself too seriously like singing in the kitchen do I mean like I'm all about like just stupid stuff like you see my video is like I'm singing Celine Dion at 10 o'clock at night I think um yeah they're my biggest qualities and I'm not at, like, height and stuff. Well, you know, I'm not high. Go on, height.

Like, high. You're not bothered by stuff about. No, I don't, no. You're told. Women are more bothered about what a man's height is, which is more. Yeah. So like, I'm quite conscious. Why?

Because people say, because they'll be like, oh, like, you say, oh, I'm six foot. And then they're like, hmm. Or like, six foot's good. No, but no. But then you're worried that you meet them and they're like, oh, actually, you're smaller. I mean, kind of thought you were taller. No, but I know, but do you get what I mean? like, it's a lot.

I think it's a lot of pressure on men that women want a taller dog. It is. It must be really hard. Would you ever go out with a girl taller than you? Would you go out with someone taller than you? I have. Have you? Wow.

She must have been. She was a high jumper. It was only for a bit. It was only for a bit. But yeah. So yeah, like it's just, yeah, I'm not, as long as they're like all different types. I used to think I just like blonde girls when I was young. but actually.

See, my type was blonde boys. I've not been with one, one boy. I think you don't, I think, it's because I just grew up, like being obsessed with Nick Carter. Yeah.

So I was like, I need to go out with Nick Carter, but he's married, he's got a load of kids. I actually loved Kelly from that. Is it Kelly from Safe by the Bell? She's not blonde. No, that's what I mean.

But then I convinced myself that I want, like, blonde girls, but actually I really, I fancy, she was like, I was like, I mean,

Zach, he was blonde, like, I like, I was just like, I'm absolutely all over her. Not now. It's probably still pretty. Oh, definitely.

You get milphy. We'll Google it later while we're making our video. And Zach. I feel like we could sit here for ages, but we'll pause this now and we'll carry on our chat at dinner. But you're going to end the episode with an affirmation for a lovely listeners. What lovely advice or words of wisdom can you give? Do you know I actually did? You know the affirmations where you burn them?

Yeah. I did that, yeah. Did you? I did that. Did you? That's a bit too. Did you do one every day for 13 days? The witch one.

So did I. And why don't I know about there? She went like... I was in... You were in a bad place. No, you were... No, you hadn't broken up yet, but you were like... It was like...

When was there? It was at the end of last year into the new year. I think the last day was like the second January. Yeah, you burned them through Christmas. I was too scared to tone about it. Oh, shit. Have I missed my opportunity? I did that as well.

I have to wait to your next fucking... And then did you get left with one intention? It's in my phone, yeah. Same. Hold on, hold on, guys. It's at the back of my phone, yeah. I've got my... Hold on. So what did I miss?

Well, basically, you just had to write loads of things down. I got confused at first. You set intentions for the year. Because I watched the video, half watched it like I always do. Was it like an Irish wit? Yeah, she's quality. And then I was writing them down. And then I realized you can't write win the lottery.

So then I went back and went back. Why can't you write that? Because not really, like, that's just more luck. Like, what do you want to change about yourself? Like, what do you want the year to be? Right. Things that were like important to you. More than affirmations.

I'd say they were more like goals. Less goals, more like intentions Yeah, like what, like is your intention to Win the loss room? Talk like talk like talk in public more Like is it to not be scared Well if that was one of yours Like well mine was just to not be scared of what people think

My one I got left with was about And don't be worried about people Not thinking you're six fat Yeah, well fit And like that's their issue Yeah that's their issue But like I um Mine my affirmation was like something

It's like stop fear and just being yourself It's like the one you got left with Yeah Mine was about my kids feeling safe and happy in their home. Yeah, because I think I just feared being my, you fear being yourself. I was too scared of you at that point. Yeah, I was. You were, it weren't in a good place.

Yeah, I was really scared to be yourself, especially after you come out out relationship and stuff because you like, what was wrong with me? I think it's also like trying to figure out who you are. Yeah. Rather than discovering a new person with all this other time that you can actually like go and do stuff and be like, who am I? What is it? What am I really bad at?

And what am I quite good at? Yeah, and what do I enjoy? Yeah. What is it better doing? Someone asked in my hobby. I was like, I don't. I don't know. And then I had to go out and figure out what that was.

Yeah, like what it is, yeah. What is that? Don't know. No, going to the gym. Oh, yeah. And that's one of them. And drinking muchas. And going to see West End musicals on my eye.

And that is good though to be found. That's cute. I'm not there. We'll get there. Thank you so much, Colin. That has been amazing. Guys, make sure you go and follow him on TikTok and Instagram. What's your handle?

Loud single dad. Loud single dad. Loud single dad. He won't say it out. And one time, and one day in the near future, it might just be louddad. Yeah, because you're not going to see what manifest day. Or just Colin. Right, guys, thank you so much.

Thank you, Colin. Thank you, guys. Woo. We did. We do. Bye.