Not As We Planned - He Left Me For a Man

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man.Watch the podcast on YouTubeGet a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon:Join Our CommunityInstagramTikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi. You're listening to Not As We Planned. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel like I am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Not As We Planned. We hope you're good.

I hope you had a good week. Yeah. How are you? Um, yeah. I'm... Good you? Oh shit. Totally on the floor.

I'll let you go first. Let me go first. I bring it down. Okay, so should I start high and then we work our way down? Or should we start down and work our way up? Whatever. Yeah, I guess that I may as well now share because it's all over my social media that I have a boyfriend.

And don't get me wrong. Majority of the comments are so lovely. I just find it wild how some people are so invested, but make out then not, but then feel the need to give such negative feedback about just, you know, a random person who's gone through a breakup, gone through a bit of heartbreak and then they've reconciled and got back together.

I don't know why it has such an impact on people's lives. Like people are accusing me of faking my breakup. It's always going to happen. I know I said that I'm a good actress and I am but I'm not that good. Actually I actually think I am but like who would do something like that? Like who would fake a breakup for three months for views and content? I'm creative enough to come up with content without having to fake stuff. So yeah, we are very happy.

I think that some people just get a bit caught up with feeling like they're entitled to every piece of information of your life just because you share your life on social media. But we are just normal people, you know, living our day for the first time like everyone else. And we're going through things, real time. And we have the right to choose what we will and won't share ever or whenever we want to. So, yeah, that's the situation. We're very much just sort of like going with it. I'm not sitting here saying that, you know, next week, buy your hats, girls, I'm going to get married. I've had so many messages from people saying, you know, I really hope it works out.

I actually broke up with my now husband, you know, two years ago for a few months and we got back together and now we're married with kids and no one knows what's going to happen. I thought I'd still be married and, you know, living that life that I thought I was going to live, but I didn't. So I think that people just get a bit too over-excited about these things, don't they? So just going with it, doing what I want, not really caring about any irrelevant external opinions of people that I don't even know. and yeah, I'm happy, so that's all that matters. Okay. You?

I am going to try not to cry because I have never cried as much as I cried and last night, like point blank. I can't say too much, but something happened yesterday. And, well, firstly, let's not downplay what happened. It was a pretty shitty thing. Mm-hmm. And it was one of the first of the same. of those situations where

ordinarily the one person that I would have picked the phone up straight away to would have been my dad and I think I just really noticed the absence of him not being there yesterday like I was actually screaming like I need your dad, why aren't you here? Like I can't explain it

but I think for me yesterday was like the hardest the grief's hit. I think it can take a while for it to the reality to set in and you know it's not I thought it might hit harder on like the one month, the two months, things like that,

where it's like a significant thing or like I've already got this anticipatory stress over father's day coming. And not only do I not have the father of my kids, but I no longer have my own dad. And I've got that like feeling of impending doom. But yesterday, I think because it came out nowhere and I can't explain it. one of those situations where the grief and the absence of not having him here just slapped me round the face. And I've never been like that in my life. I was on the floor. Like I couldn't breathe. I had two panic attacks yesterday which haven't had for a very, very long time. I literally

felt helpless and I was like screaming like, Dad, you need to send me a sign like I need to know. Like, I need to know. Like, you're there. Um, sorry. And it was just one of those situations where I just felt like no one else in the world would be able to help me other than him. And it just, yeah, it just really, really hit me. Sorry. Why my eyes were a bit swollen today, I literally haven't stopped crying. And I'm just feeling very overwhelmed by a lot of things going on in my life. And just knowing, like, my dad would hear that I'd be okay and I'd never have to get through it.

But one thing I do want to say, because I don't think, I think I want to take it for granted and I want to know it's documented. The way my boys were yesterday is just, it's just beyond anything. And I know they're my own kids and I'll always sing their praises and I know I'm biased and all of that. But honestly, I was an absolute mess yesterday and I'm devastated that they saw me the way that I was. But the way they handled it so calmly with so much care and empathy,

and how they came together, honestly blew my mind. Like, one of them was running to get water. The other one was rubbing my back. They were telling me to sip water, telling me to focus on my breathing, telling me like it's okay. And part was with me. And then Milo's going,

do you want me to get the pot of feathers, Mommy? I was just like their level of empathy. Just in that moment, I thought, it's not a mistake that they are that way. I really do make sure that everything I'm sure, that everything I'm showing them, everything I'm trying to channel as a parent, like, it's working. And I am giving myself that credit.

I know that's not a mistake. And I know where that, that behaviour and those patterns have come from. Because I do think in those situations when you're not calm or you're the mess, they almost mimic what you're like when they have those situations or they're having those meltdowns. And I really saw, like, them copying some of the terminology I say to them or the way they are. And I just thought, do you know, what your life might feel like it's falling apart but there's something you're doing right in your parenting and it was just that moment that I just needed and then let's see you I was downstairs and he could hear me crying

and he was like mommy I can't sleep knowing you're really sad and he said as he was walking downstairs he saw a feather falling down out of nowhere and it just landed on the step and he bought it to me obviously I don't know if he's just said that or what but where has this feather come from and like he was like mommy pass here with you and he was like mommy pass here with you. And I just, he's like a little old woman. Then he's, I was like,

oh, I still got the washed hang up. He went and hanged the whole wash up. Granted it's not like the best laid out. And then he's pottering around like tidy. Like he goes, all these books aren't in a nice order. And it was just little moments like that.

And I know this way. So like I'd had a panic attack. The boys would calm me down and they were stroking me. And I was crying. And I was like, I just want my dad. And then Theo was got upset and was crying and he was like, really miss Pa. Milo's like a bit younger and he's very like matter of fact, right?

And then he goes, it's really sad that Pa's dead. And we were like, yeah. And then he goes, maybe he'll do what Jesus did and come back. Bear in mind we don't even believe in Jesus. And I just burst out laughing. Then we all started laughing. And then Milo was going, I made Mommy laugh. And I just thought,

it was so precious. But you know what? It's moments like that when however shit and down you are, you know, it's grabbing those little golden moment. I just sat there. Like, it was late. And I was like, I just sat there holding them. And I was like, I said to them, and I hope you know how lucky I feel knowing I've got.

And it was this feeling that no matter what I go through, I think as they grow up, they'll probably understand more and more. Of course. Obviously, I'm not going to sit there and start saying stuff. And for now, I just wanted them to focus on the fact that, you know, I was sad because I wanted my daddy and he wasn't there. And to name that emotion and to show them it's okay to feel sad

and it's a very normal thing to feel sad over. Like, I never want to hide away from emotions. And I got a load of message. I get it a lot. Like, how do you get your kids to be so empathetic? And I think it is things like that, letting them grow up in an environment where their feelings are validated, where emotions aren't hidden, emotions aren't shamed. They're allowed to freely be there and exposed in all their glory. And it's okay to have these human emotions.

And I think knowing they can feel safe, having big emotions or feeling angry or feeling sad and know they can do that at home. I think for me, just, I think as well as grown-ups and adults going through things like grief or going through like a breakup or a divorce or a marriage breakdown or a separation and becoming a single parent, I think we often feel the guilt of wanting to hide these sad emotions and these anger, but I really think it's important that children can see this. Yes, I'm not saying let them see all the angry conversations. That's not what I'm advocating for. But I think there's something to be said about a child seeing humans having real emotions,

the good and the bad. And I think that really builds them into these more emotionally empathetic children and these emotionally aware children and also your own way of dealing with those situations. So, yeah, I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling utterly shit. My headspace is like just horrific at the moment. And I have never felt so shit in my life. And I spoke to someone on the phone today. And I think I am going to try and seek some kind of counselling or therapy at the moment

because I think I'm at capacity. Like, bereavement counsellor. I know one. She reached out to me when your dad died if you ever want one. Yeah. Yeah, pass her details on. I just, I think I've needed some time to almost like hit acceptance as well. And just last, I have to say, like, my mum.

and my sisters have been amazing, like, bless them. Like, I think we all really felt the absence last night. And they're all, like, doing the own thing, trying to, and my mom called me this morning. It's just like, this is our problem. We will all sort it out together, my sister. And I think, like, one of my dad's parting gifts was to, like, bring us all closer together.

And I just feel like there's a few situations that have happened now where I do feel like we've got closer since he's passed. Yeah. And that's special. It is. You've got to, I guess like with anything, you've got to try and like hold on to some of the good that's come out of a bad situation.

Yeah, so sorry to be depressing, but I also think it's important as much as it. It's important to show my kids the real feelings. It's important for me to like not put on the front with you. I mean, I'm sure putting it on the front anyway. Like I literally... Oh, you're not as good as acting as me? When I'm upset, there's nothing I can do to hide it.

But I think that that's like, I feel like that's probably why a lot of you connect to this podcast. You know, we get a lot of messages, not just the emails, but messages of people saying, like, you really are like my virtual besties. Like you don't understand how much I relate to the things you share and what you talk about. And I think something that's very special about our podcast is every single challenge or situation that both Carly and I have lived through, you have witnessed firsthand. You know, the divorces, the breakups, the grief, the everything.

And I think it's nice to know that we can show up authentically and be ourselves. And I think that that's what we really do advocate for is being just completely authentic. Like there are no like hidden agendas here. And that's it. Like ordinarily, I feel like if I was going to an ordinary job, I wouldn't have gone in today. Yeah. And like I did have a bit of anxiety in the car because I knew it was going to cry this morning. Yeah. I'm feeling flat.

I'm feeling rubbish. But also I knew that by the end of the day, it's exactly what I need. Yeah. But also knowing it's a judgment-free zone. I mean, don't get me wrong, there'll be some trolls on the internet who will make it about them. We love trials. But yeah, that's just where I'm at right now. So this is called What a Difference a Year Can Make.

Hi, ladies. I thought I'd give you an update after writing in almost exactly a year ago. As well, what a difference a year can make. I wrote in after having left my husband, after no infidelity but years of emotional abuse. You called him a vile pig. That was probably me. Probably, yeah, yeah. Which was rather validating to hear.

I cried when you read my email out. Hearing it back made me realize how bad it was, and that wasn't even the half of it. I had just moved into the house I bought and was struggling to have time on my own, worried about my kids, worried about my future, and baffled as to why he was being so nice after the years of disgusting behavior.

Well, I found out why. He had been seeing someone when we were still living together, someone from work. Another one. only three months after we split, despite saying he still loved me and wanted us to work the whole time. I should have guessed.

He was only nice when he was getting some. My first thought, poor her. It surprised me how much it didn't bother me. I was more just a bit disgusted in him, especially as I worked out that he had gone away with her and left me with the kids when we all had flu and could barely look after them. The first six months were very tough.

I missed the kids. I didn't know what to do with myself and I needed to renovate the whole house which was extremely daunting. I pulled myself together, started doing stuff for myself and spent a lot of time doing it at the house to make it a home that my kids deserved, which was challenging but felt so freeing.

I didn't have to ask miserable little man for approval. My house is now colourful and joyful and a place for my children that they love. I went back to Netball, I painted art again, I got a promotion at work which I worked my ass off for. I was always worried that the kids would struggle and my ex continued to tell me how selfish I'd been, how I'd ruin their lives.

And honestly, they did struggle for the first few months. But now I feel like they're happier than ever. I asked my six-year-old what she missed from us all living together. She said a few things about having a bigger house and a garden, but also said, I don't miss you being sad, though. You're happier now. I know I didn't think she'd seen me sad, not really, but it just shows what they really pick up on.

You've hit the nail on the head there, that's just giving me goosebumps. On a side note, my ex got all the mail from our old house diverted to his house. So when, after a few glasses of wine, my friends and I ordered a dildo

and forgot to change the address, it got sent to him. He opened it and told me my massive dildo was at his and he's glad I'm having fun without him. It was seven inches. It wasn't massive at all, just bigger than him.

I did on and off date over the last year and was wary at the start as I thought that there was something wrong with me as I hadn't really wanted sex for years. Turns out I was very wrong and had a lot of fun. Along the way I learnt a lot about what I needed, but no one came close to me wanting anything serious. Eventually, I reached a place where I was genuinely happy on my own and refused to accept even a whiff of bad behaviour from any man. Recently I have met someone though. It's only been a few months but things are good uncomplicated peaceful and safe who knows what will happen but i don't need him i just want him my daughter asked if i might get a boyfriend like daddy has a girlfriend and i said maybe but they need to be

super special to meet you her reply yes mummy you do need to be more picky this time pick someone who isn't grumpy and angry like daddy what a bad-ass young lady she's going to be just wanted to share a bit of positivity and hope that this gives anyone in the thick of it, keep doing what you're doing, girls. That was really, really lovely. Kids do pick up on so much more than you realise. I had a similar conversation with Theo, actually. Wasn't that long ago because my kids were really young when we split.

There were 18 months and three. And I feel like recently Theo's been saying things like, I really hate having to go between two homes can't you and daddy just be together which has come out of nowhere because what yeah um so i explain you know daddy's got a girlfriend mummy's a lot happier and then who'll say things like i remember mommy crying or really yeah and i was like and i want you to remember that like i understand it can be a bit annoying going between but wouldn't you rather have two happier homes than one where no one's happy and he was like oh okay but but I do think like

that's also you like you saying those things you set in those standards I think again it's all about raising those children with good morals

good values good levels of self-worth and I think you're showing her exactly that yeah and I think that it's an email like that really does show you that staying for the kids

is nothing so thank you for sharing after 20 years together he left me for a man and I'm still processing it Hi ladies I just wanted to say I've been really struggling

with my breakup lately and listening to you has genuinely been helping me heal so thank you basically free therapy at this point I was with my ex for 20 years and we've got three children together 18, 14 and 12

wow before we got together he had been with a man but he convinced me that wasn't who he was oh so naturally I believed him and went on to

spend the next two decades building a life together. Kids, holidays, house, the full package. From the outside, it probably looked like a solid, happy life. And looking back now, though, there were definitely things that didn't sit right, but I was always made to feel like I was overthinking or that it was normal. About four years in, I found sexual items in the loft that definitely weren't mine. And when I questioned it, I somehow ended up being the one who needed to open my mind. Over time, I just convinced myself that this must be what normal relationships look like. Spoiler, I'm guessing it's not. There were even times he'd used them whilst I was asleep next to him, which, now I say it out loud sounds absolutely mad. Hang on, are we talking

like dildo? I don't know. I want to know what. It must be like a dill dive. It could be like a butt plug. Now I say it out loud, it sounds absolutely mad. At the time, I was made. I was to feel like I was the problem for being uncomfortable. Guest lighting 101. Even within the family, I felt pushed aside. His mum was very involved, and at one point she encouraged my son to call her mom. Well, I'm okay.

That's so weird. Fucking, mommy issues. I remember thinking, this doesn't feel right. But again, apparently I was just overreacting. But fast forward 20 years and he's now left and is in a relationship with a man. So I guess my gut feeling back then wasn't completely off. It's actually been two years since the breakup, but I still have this horrible sick feeling that just won't go away.

My brain loves to replay everything in a loop like it's got a personal vendetta against me. And recently he asked the kids if they were happy for him to start dating again and they said yes. so I asked him outright if he was seeing a man, which he eventually admitted. I've been trying to focus on my own peace and calm, but he still randomly pops up and throws me off. For example, two days ago, he messaged me out of nowhere asking where our sleeping bags were.

I told him I had them, and he asked if I wanted to sell them to his new boyfriend. Why don't you just go to our girls? Yeah, like, go out doors and mate. Like, what? That's like weird. That's so weird. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry

or just block him immediately. It just felt so disrespectful but then I also find myself thinking am I overreacting? No. That's weird. Boyfriend or girlfriend, that's a weird thing to do. So fucking weird.

Can I buy them off you? Why don't you just go buy your own? Why would you want one that you're ex-slept in anyone? That's so weird. He originally said we should stay friends for the sake of the kids and sort things like pick-ups between ourselves. but he's now gone back to going through the kids anyway,

which kind of defeats the point. I've realised any contact with him is a trigger, so I've said I don't want direct contact unless it's absolutely necessary. I need that space if I'm ever going to properly move on. I've actually got hypnotherapy tonight, so I'm hoping that might finally help me stop overthinking everything because right now I feel like I'm stuck in my own head.

I think what I'm really asking is how do you actually move on from something like this? How do you stop your brain from replaying everything and start feeling like yourself again. And also, am I overreacting? Or was the sleeping bag message as ridiculous as it felt? Thank you again. You've helped me more than you probably realize. Best wishes you gorgeous humans.

I think that when something happens like that, and I think it's quite hard to process something that probably makes you feel slightly humiliated. I think it takes a lot longer to accept a situation like that because it's really easy to sit back and think so did he actually love me? Was he attracted to me or was it like fake for him? Because I can't relate obviously to your story

but what I will say is something that I used to sort of berate myself with over and over again when I went through my divorce was trying to think of memories and be like, hold on, he was lying then. So that wasn't real for him. Hold on. He was doing that behind my back then. So that wasn't real for him. And it wasn't really until I took a step back and thought, do you know what?

It was real for me. It doesn't actually matter how he felt in the moment. It only matters about how I felt. It was real for me. My feelings were real. The experiences were real. And now they're done. And now they're over.

And it's just being able to really learn to draw a line and accept that and stop dissecting everything, trying to work out what he felt, how he was feeling. Because that doesn't matter. If it was real for you, that was a chapter in your life that is now closed. And I feel like it's even like trying to get closure from someone else. We don't get closure from someone else. We don't get, you know, the acceptance from someone else. We need to get it from ourselves. and I think that it's really valid for you to still feel really caught up in that

but there's nothing that you can do about it anymore. You have the control and the power to face forward and only concentrate on moving forward and I think that you need to try and almost take that in and think that that's actually quite powerful that I don't need to rely on someone else to make this better. I've got the control and the power to do that myself and really start doing the journaling, you've got hip-year-old,

you've got hypnotherapy, you know, pouring more into you, finding new hobbies, just really trying to build your life rather than being stuck in the past. The comment about the sleeping bag was unnecessary. I do think it was quite disrespectful. At the same time, maybe that was his way of trying to find an excuse to talk to because he's trying to clear the air a bit. I don't know. I mean, in my head, sorry if this sounds really like,

not the right thing to say. I've always thought to myself, maybe it would be quite cute if my ex was going, then we could just like be mates. But maybe not. It's a shit situation. I don't think any of these situations are easy, but I feel like maybe take it as a positive

that your kids are that bit older, that you don't have to have the communication with him. You can have as much involvement with him as you want. And if for you, in order to move on and move, forward is completely cutting that communication do that like set boundaries that work for you and start pouring into yourself more yeah i think it's really really easy whatever the circumstances are to play them round around around your head and almost like go through a period where you feel

across at yourself that you knew and you were gaslighted, whatever you want to call it, manipulated into believing you were crazy or being overreactive or things like that. I can really relate to having had certain thoughts and then being dismissed and then you start questioning yourself like, God, maybe I am being overreactive, like maybe I am being unreasonable and you start doubting yourself, you start doubting your intuition and I understand how you can get stuck in that cycle of going over things, but you are the only person who can put a stop to it. You're the only person who can do that.

And I think it's really easy to focus on all these questions and wanting answers and feeling unsure. But I know, I think you said you've been with him 20 years. I understand that some time. But thank God you're not with him for another 20 years where he's in this secret kind of other life of wanting to be with men. And I think you just, firstly, like, I hope you have giving yourself permission to feel and that you validated your feelings because,

I think above everything, how you're feeling is completely valid and how every other person who would be in that situation would feel. So firstly, like, I completely understand. And it is also okay to feel those things, but only you have the power to now move on from that. You can even let that dictate the rest of your life and you can get stuck in your own head and you can stay there and live in this period

where you are stuck and not moving and miserable and unhappy and focusing on him. Or you say, do you know what? It's enough now. I want to move forwards. I've learned he wasn't right for me. But I've also learned that my gut was right. My intuition was right.

And that's really valuable. That's something you can take into any relationship you go into moving forward. But I do think right now your focus needs to be you, falling back in love with you, realizing what you bring to the table. I'd get our journal if I was you. I think it would really, really help you. And please, please keep us updated. Hi, girls.

I started listening after my marriage broke down and a friend recommended you. Great friend. I've listened since. Thank you for all you do. I love the honest advice. I've been with my new partner for two years and I just wanted to tell you a good news story.

You asked for positive stories recently. So me and my new partner matched on Tinder in January 24. We lived in the same town, though didn't know each other. both had kids, both around a year out of long-term relationships, and both of us didn't really put a lot of effort into messaging at first and would message every week or so. Around February and March, we swapped numbers and started texting properly.

We got on so well. He works away three weeks on, three weeks off, and we loosely planned to meet when he was next home. Everything was fine until the day he was due to come home, and then nothing. Never heard a peep. For a good few weeks, was absolutely devastated because I had a gut feeling we would have got on really well when we met.

Anyway, in April I got a private message from him on Facebook. He was apologising that he hadn't message, said he had lost his phone. I do know he lost his phone, but not when he first started ghosting me, like a week later. So the excuse was not valid for the full ghosting period. He somehow found me just by searching my forename and my town on Facebook, which I did think was sweet, but I gave him a bit of a hard time about ignoring me before. letting the conversation continue. So the messaging continued.

We really did get on so well. Everything was amazing, flirty at times, nothing X-rated, but he never suggested meeting and I felt like I was being ghosted again when he didn't reply to me for over a week. Again, I was absolutely gutted, I still had this funny feeling

we'd really get on well when we met. So against everything I'd ever done, I messaged him after the second week of not hearing from him and started the conversation up again and eventually, asked him to take me on a date. Again, I never would have done this before, but my friend suggested it saying I had nothing to lose.

He agreed and suggested a time and place. On the day, I felt honestly so nervous, terrified that he wouldn't turn up after the previous ghosting and the time that we'd been messaging without him suggesting we meet. But he did turn up and it was the best day ever. After getting to know him more, I discovered that he was the biggest shit bag, as in the biggest nervous person.

He hadn't been on a date since he met his ex, which was 13 years prior. He hadn't kissed anyone. I had sex and seven years since his son was born. Their relationship ended up being totally platonic. He is still, though, working on it, the biggest avoidant. He hardly even messages his friends or family back, so it wasn't just me he wasn't replying to. He's still very bad at messaging other people, but not me, luckily. The first time we kissed, I could tell he hadn't kissed in a long time,

as it was though he didn't know what he was doing. And I had to guide him. It was the same when we had sex. He was just a really nervous guy who knew that he'd been fucking me about before and didn't know how to deal with it. Fast forward to now and we are honestly so happy. Our kids have met. We waited over a year for this and they get on really well.

We've met each other's families. We are both on the same page regarding our future and he's learning and growing to communicate with me more and becoming less avoidant as he knows I'm more anxious and it's not the best mix. I've also began working on my anxious attached. to strengthen our relationship too. I've even met his ex, his child's mum, and we get on really well.

He's met my ex too and everything's really civil. A lot of people probably wouldn't have given someone the time of day again if they were ghosted. And usually this wouldn't be me 100%, but I honestly can't explain it. I had this gut feeling that we would get on well and we do. So well, it's the best thing ever. I feel like it was a universe bringing us together

and we were meant to meet. By making me pull myself out of my comfort zone and being assertive and direct with him and him having to meet me in the middle instead of being so nervous and avoidant. Prior to meeting him, I tried to manifest meeting a kind, loving tool, he's six foot, man

who lived close and had children and I met him. No idea if manifesting actually works, but it seems to have here. So every now and then, maybe follow your heart and gut because the man who ghosted you might actually have a valid reason.

Like being an avoidant shitbag who was terrified and nervous to me. it might not be as negative as it seems and it might end up being the best thing ever. Thanks for reading. Do you know what? I love that, but I'm definitely not going to tell anyone

to ignore the ghosting. No. I feel like this is a rarity. Very rare. But I'm happy for you. Yeah, I did that. I gave someone a chance after going. Oh yeah.

And he goes to me again. Yeah. I think this is definitely a anomaly. Happy it worked out. We won't promote it. But let's not promote. ignoring the ghosting and reaching out. But I'm glad you're happy.

Yeah, me too. Okay, guys, product of the week, this is my Medicaid, advanced night restore night cream. Been using this probably since January. That's when I feel like I really started like properly doing my skincare. I love it.

I'm not going to sit here pretending I know what's in it, how it works, what it does. But I started using it and I've never stopped. It is on the prer side, but something's working other than my chin. It's really high, like really moisturising. Like, it is really good. Yeah, a multi-seramide night cream.

So I like it. I actually have the travel version of that. Oh, really? I'll be taking it away tomorrow. Cute. I mean, I'll just take this pot. But yeah. So that's my product of the week.

Confession of the week. You might think that I'm really immature when I share this, but to be honest, it is just a bit of fun. I have a few old photos of my ex. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood or feeling angry, about him. I put this photo into chat, GBT, and I recreate different scenarios of what my ex would look like. Sometimes he looks like a homeless man.

Other times, I like to ask chat to make him look like 80 years old, to see what he would look like. I'm really glad to say that he doesn't look good when he's older and I'm very glad that I'm not with him anymore. What is weird is he actually suits looking homeless. Anyway,

love you girls. Bye. Sorry, Carly's just taking a moment. Affirmation of the week. Deep breath. Okay, divorce happens, and then sometimes, the great revelation is not just that you survived it. It is that you are a far more powerful mother

than you knew. You can hold grief in one hand and grace there is in the other. You can build routine from wreckage. You can make a small apartment feel like sanctuary. You can teach children that endings are not the end of love. That is no small power. That is a force. Divorce happens and then one day you realize the children are not only watching how much you love them. They are watching how much you love yourself now too. They are learning from what you tolerate, what you leave, what you rebuild, what you bless, what you call peace.

That is why reclaiming motherhood after divorce is so powerful. It is not only about getting your own life back, it is about widening theirs. Divorce happens, and then you realize how much of motherhood has become logistics under pressure. Doctors appointments, permission slips,

dinner, baths, bedtime, or whilst carrying someone else's moods like another child. And then one day you are still doing all the ordinary things, but they feel different in your body. Lighter, cleaner, less haunted, and you think this is what motherhood was always supposed to feel like. Wow.

Yeah, I'm coming a ghost by the way. I'm obsessed with this lady, by the way. I'm going to shut her out just because I feel like most of her quotes are from her. It's Olivia Howell on Instagram. You know, when you just really resonate with someone's writing, I think she articulates things so beautifully. So going to give her a follow. Yeah, love that.

Thank you guys so much. And we will see you again. See you later. Bye.