Not As We Planned - I Can’t Stop Sleeping With My Daughters Boyfriend | Not As We Planned Podcast

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

It’s a dating episode guys and we have delivered the goods! First up, the man that shat himself on a first date, the most shocking affair we have EVER come across, the romantic stroll along the dirty river and being the third wheel with the ‘platonic bestie’  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi, you're listening to Not As We Plan. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel the high am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hello, besties. Welcome back to another episode of Not As We Plan. We hope you guys are good. Let's have a little catch up. How are you doing? You know what? I'm trying to think when this comes out because we are now officially, once this comes out, going to be in the year of the fire horse. Hell yes. Yeah, we've sheded. We've shedded that snake. Oh, we have been shedding hard. It sounds like dirty. I feel like a lot's gone on. I have had a whack. So I've shedded. The last things that have gone on the last few weeks when my friends are like, it's all turned to shit. I'm like, no, this is good. We are shedding. Mm-hmm. Shedding. How are you? Tash is smashing no contact. Yeah, mine, I.

And I know that I spoke to you about it, like the other day. I think I'm at that point at the moment where it's a bit like, you get to that part of no contact when you're a bit like, at what point do you stop counting the days and realise that actually you just don't. You just don't talk. You just don't talk. You're just like becoming changes and not in each other's lives anymore. And I think I found that quite hard to grasp.

I feel like it's quite like a sad concept. I think that sometimes when you hold on to that sort of like counting the no days, is you almost still feel a bit like connected to them in a way. I understand that, yeah. Like they're counting it too. Like we've done 10 days, no contact with. And I don't know, I think eventually you get to a point where I sort of told myself, like, stop counting. Like you're just, this is just it now.

Yeah. This is just what life is. And yeah, I just think it's that sad reality. I'm still finding evenings quite hard. And I'm just rolling with it. Like on a day or in a moment where I'm good. I'm like, cool, let's go with it. Yeah.

And then sometimes I'll have an evening where I cry. And that's fine. So, yeah, I'm just riding the way of doing what I can to make myself feel better. I have a slight spending issue. Yeah, I was going to talk to you about that. I'm going to stage an intervention. You do, you will. You will see, like, every week I'm wearing a different outfit.

I'm all in old clothes. If you only listen and don't watch, like, go and check out the teasers and look at my new clothes. I just, I'm trying to bring a bit of like color into my wardrobe, you know, this is giving like spring. Or gender reveal. Hell no. Hell no, mother. Hell no. What about you?

I'm good. I had another solo date day at the weekend. I took myself out for steak and I went to see six, the West End show. Guys, I actually feel like it's really suited to our listeners. Really? Because it's about Henry the 8th six wives And it's about how... Red flag.

Brifelack. He was the biggest red flag. And it's all about how like they're just... It's just known that Henry the 8th had six wives but no one really knew much about them. And it's like reclaiming their power and telling their story and being... Like it was... The whole show was all women.

All the orchestra was all women. Like it was the most... I was like sat there crying. You know that film? Women. What's it called? And there's not one male actor in it. Have you never seen it?

No. No. No. Hurt me up. Oh my God. And like, she finds out her husband's having an affair with another woman. Like, Eva. Not the other woman.

And maybe it's called the other woman. And there's no men in it. There are no men in it. They may talk about men, but there are no men in it. I can't remember for saying that. But yeah, it was honestly, like, particularly like the first wife, when she was talking about like divorce and stuff. Trigger.

I know we're talking about. about Tudor times, but we ain't so different, you know? Yeah. Anyway, really, really good, fantastic. Other than that, we're waiting on our new rings, aren't we? Like, once we get our new rings, we're really excited. So Carly and I went to, what are they called? Hatter Garden, JCO, London, they're called. They are, honestly, if you're looking for, like, some special jewellery,

if you are with someone who, like, you're thinking about might propose you, go and, like, tag them in their page, because they're amazing. So, Carly and I are actually getting these, well, we're going to call them our promise rings together. it's a promise to ourselves to never settle. Never settle, never accept breadcrumbs and never brush it under the carpet. And never accept bare minimum. We don't want bare minimum shit.

We want high effort, high standards. Or we'd rather be on our own. Exactly. Yeah, I'm, latest goth is, yeah, I was briefly, I wasn't even saying seeing someone. I went a few dates with someone, but I've curbed that on last Friday. Again, it was just a case of, sometimes she stepped back. and be like, he's giving, he's giving me breadcrumbs and I'm not dark. Mm.

And quack. Quack. So, yeah, I just thought, I don't know. I'm very much. And again, I think I'm really like in that era of being like the year of the fire horse is coming. Like there's a reason I need to shed all these, these people who aren't welcome into the next phase of my life.

And I just feel, I'm just like bobbing along with life at the moment. And I'm just, bobbing along, bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful bright. Yeah, just waiting for. I'm just waiting for my glow-up guys. I'm waiting for my king of ones to come into my life. King of ones? Is that a thing? Well, in my reading, it was king and queen of ones and he's my divine pairing.

Love that. Mine was like two of cups or something. I can't remember. I had him as well. Cups. So that described his personality. King Cups, yeah. Love a cup. Right. We're going to start on this story. I asked for some dating stories because they give me life and we got a few and I'm compelled to read this one. What's it called?

He shit himself. Oh no. Oh no. So yeah, if you're triggered by shit, maybe don't listen to this. Okay. Hi ladies. I came to one of your live events but I'm still not over it. So I thought I'll tell it again.

Oh, did she tell us that? I don't remember. OG listener and Patreon member. became a single mum the same time as Tash from an 11-year relationship with two babies. My ex cheated, z, as in. Oh, poor. Anyway, so to the dating story, I met a guy on Hinge. In his profile pictures, he looked dreamy.

Five foot ten. A bit shorter than the six foot limit, I set myself. Yeah, we have to have a little bit of buffer room. What is your buffer of height? Five foot ten minimum up to? We're capping here. I ain't cupping. Are you not?

No, you can be a giant. I'm capping. You're, yeah, you've got trauma. I'm capping. I'm doing 5 foot 10 to 6 foot through. Okay, that's fair. I don't think you're going to really need to enforce that. It's not that many tall men anymore.

I would say 5 foot 10 only because I feel like that's my limit in my heels. And I have to be taller in them. I'm 5 foot 5. So. Fine. I understand. I also feel like I've done like the two extremes. You really have, haven't you?

Five foot four. Just go somewhere in the middle way. And six foot six. Like I'm happy with just a healthy six foot. Two. I reckon like, yeah, you can get away with five foot ten easily. I'm proper little. I'm only going to shrink.

So true. So I used to be five foot six. Did you? So there was this whole thing. You're already shrinking. No, so me and my friends were at, I can't remember what we were talking about. And we were saying something like on dating profiles. I think I was showing them on.

She was like, you're not five foot six. And I was like, yes, I'm. She's like, no, I'm five foot six. I'm taller than you. And I was like, trust me, I'm 5 foot 6. So obviously we got the tape measure out, measured like 100 times. I'm 5 foot 5. Really?

So I went straight on, changed it all to 5 foot 5. Love that. Yeah. So I don't know if I'm shrinking or I just got it wrong. I think you might have got it wrong. I can't imagine you're shrinking yet. I hope not. Anyway.

He had good chat and seemed to want the same thing. So I thought, let me give it a go. What's the worst that can happen? Famous last words. She wrote famous last words. Dishy. Right. Red flag slash ick number one. Oh God, no, this would be out.

I'd be out. He didn't drive. No. So I had to pick him up from his mums. Oh, God. No, babe. No. No.

I would have literally made up some excuse. No, I would have said I need someone that drives. Yeah. I've already got two children I drop off to places. Yeah, that's a no from there. Okay, I thought fine, let me just go, I'm not wasting my child free time. Got there to pick him up, yuck. He was so skinny, like there was nothing there skinny.

I'm a curvy girl and I usually go for muscular athletic guys. His pictures had clearly been edited because he looked nothing like them. I don't get people that do that. What is the point? You're going to see. This is my FaceTime before I just I couldn't do that

I couldn't turn up to a date without knowing Yeah So like I've been asked some dates And I'm just like So when me face timing then If we're going out on Thursday You need to face time before

Yeah I'm not wasting my time For this It's good for the plot It is but I've got limited time For my plot lines He was in the car now So there's no turning back

I started driving Following his directions There was summertime, about a million degrees, thought we'd be going for some nice cocktails. No, he takes me to bloody mini-golf in the middle of nowhere in the baking heat. Fine, got on with it. He was so painfully shy in real life, it was me making all the conversations. Anyway, about halfway through the date, he literally pegs it behind a shed and leaves me waiting. I'm waiting.

and waiting. Fifteen minutes go by. And I'm still there. And I was thinking, what the fuck? I get a phone call telling me to walk back to my car. I was like, is everything okay? He was like, no. Something embarrassing has happened,

and he seemed really annoyed at me. I was like, what's happened? And he said, Oh, no. I've had an accident. There's me thinking he's fallen over, and hit his face or something. If only.

But no. It only turns out his bloody shit himself. Mommy wasn't there to wipe his bum. Mommy didn't pack him a spare nap. I wouldn't let him in my car. Absolutely not. I'm leaving behind the shed. Stinky fucker.

Oh my God. behind a shed in the baking system. Oh no. I start walking the 10 minute walk to the car, me thinking he's going to be at the car waiting for me. No, he's five minutes behind me, following me back to the car. Now, if that was me,

I would have called myself an Uber, but no, he got in my car, shitty pants and all. Fuck off! I actually couldn't. That smell is so. bad. No, like what she said, I would be calling a friend getting them to pick me up and message being like, you're not getting in my car. Take your shitty pants and all combate. But why did he do

it in his pants? I don't know. Why didn't he do it on the floor? I felt too rude not to. And I drove him home with my windows open. It doesn't stop there. Oh no. On the way back, he was angry at me. Like it was my fault. Like I made him do this. So I was like, just because you're embarrassed, don't take it out on me. it's not my fault you've got shitty pants what the fuck also like how is he making it a her problem that he shat himself

oh no maybe he was so good at mini golf he shit himself no or he was like really anxious and nervous that he got bad tummy there's no coming back from that you're forever called shitty pants we get back to his

and he was like can you wait here for 10 minutes? Every part of me wanted to run but I just felt too bad. You're a much better person than I am. I'd be out of there. He came, and I probably would have rolled down the windows and called him something as well.

He came out after he had showered 10 minutes later and had brought me a mini twister from the freezer. What is this guy? Why isn't it a normal size twister? He's such a child. He lives with his mummy. He's picking up. He needs a naping.

He has mini ice lollies. Oh my God. He doesn't want to ruin his dinner. And then tried to kiss me. Safe to say I swirved it. And he never heard from me again. What a day. I mean, that has made my love.

Okay, this is a bit of a wild subject. Are you ready? I'm ready. I can't stop sleeping with my daughter's boyfriend. Guys, what is going, right, we're shedding. We're shedding. Hi girls, love your pod, you girls are crazy cats. I mean, we're not as crazy as you, babe.

I'm writing because I'm in a situation I never imagined I'd find myself in. How'd you even get into this? I'm in my late 40s and have been married to my husband for 25 years. He's a good man, kind, caring, fun and a reliable provider. He works very hard, but he's so often exhausted and overtime, I felt increasingly neglected and undesired. I get so bored that while he's at work, I often stay home and get myself off to porn.

Gail's got needs. Yeah. My daughter began dating her boyfriend last year. They are both 19. He's attractive, full of energy and so much fun. I bet. About six months ago, after a family barbecue, where we'd all been drinking,

we ended up alone together late into the night. He kept saying how sexy I am for my age, one thing led to another and I ended up going down on him. It was so hot. I know it sounds bad but I'm a woman and I've got my needs. I am shook us. Since then we have been having risky encounters while my husband and daughter are in the same house. No, sorry, no.

It has never gone beyond oral sex so it's not that bad. I'm pretty sure you're not meant to be having someone's... The secrecy in danger makes it feel. feel intoxicating and I feel desired in a way that I haven't felt in years. For example, the other day, I was watching Coronation Street with my cup of tea. My husband was on the sofa fast asleep after a long day at work. My daughter's boyfriend came down from her bedroom and he walked straight up to me, pulled the front of my trackies down without saying a word and you can imagine what happened next. I loved... Wait, wait, let me set the scene. He's there snoozing.

Yeah, like this. And he's like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And he's just like, no, no. I loved the danger of my husband waking up and my daughter walking in. He finished off and walked straight back upstairs and I continued watching Corrie as if nothing had happened. Les Battisbee. I feel guilty. I'm fucking glad.

As this would devastate my daughter if she found out. Really? And it would destroy my marriage. I think you might give her a bit of trauma as well. I know this may say. a bit bad but I've never felt more like a woman. I'm scared of where this will end. I don't want to lose my family,

but I also don't want to stop doing something that makes me feel so alive. The problem is that my daughter has just told me, this can't be real. My daughter has just told me that she's pregnant. Fuck off. So it's messed everything up. She hasn't told her boyfriend yet, but I'm thinking of telling her that she needs to get rid of it

or it will ruin everything. Do you have any advice? Love you. Stop putting your daughter's boyfriend's penis in your mouth. I, I, like, surely this isn't real. I've checked the email. I know, looks like surely this isn't real. I'm sorry.

Like, let's strip it back here a minute, okay? You've never felt more like a woman. You are, you're a terrible mother. You're sucking your daughter's boyfriend's penis and she's pregnant with him. And you want her to get rid of the baby. I don't know what you think mean to her. I don't know what you think mean is how she's going to say to you. Just surely this isn't real.

And if it is, like, I just think you need to do some serious life reflection, maybe pack a bag and move countries. This isn't okay. Like, you're not going to just ruin your family. You're going to never have a relationship with your daughter ever again. Is that worth it for the sake of some dicking your mouth? You want to ruin the relationship. You are ruining, like, the person that you brought into the world should be able to trust you.

It actually makes me feel unwell that his penis could be inside your daughter. and then he comes down to theirs and the single mouth. Does that not make you feel slightly unwell? Or that he's licked you out and he goes and kisses your water. I'm not okay with this. It's making me feel physically unwell. You need to stop whatever it is. Try and get rid of the boyfriend so he's just gone.

If you don't want... The baby. I don't... I actually have no advice. I think you need to go and seek some help from someone professional. I think you... I'm not joking. Hold on.

I'm just going to go and get some professional help. Oprah! Dr. Fal! Anyone! I don't feel qualified enough to give advice to the situation. Or should I say this situation? I don't understand how you get here.

You don't accidentally end up with your child's boyfriend's willying your mouth. There was no accident. This isn't an accident. This is fully like commitment. I think you might need to go and repent your sins somewhere and do some serious reflection. and is this an early April Falls? If this is real, you need to go back to the start

of a very first podcast and listen and try and take advice that we give people because also it's not even even, you're in a marriage as well, like you're cheating on your husband. I think it's worse that the daughter thing is actually worse for me. It's all shit. I mean, it's all bad.

Like, come on. Like, I'd generally, I'd rather you be. doing drugs. Also, you say it's like for the thrill of it and it makes you feel alive. Go do, yeah, go do... Go do something else. Go and jump out of a play. But go and do something else that makes you feel alive. Stucking your daughter's boyfriend's

Willie is not one. Go back to watching your porn and Coronation Street and stop. Just messing about... But the thing, the thing that I think the thing that baffles me that makes me think it's not real is that she's like it's only oral sex, it's not that bad. So you'd be okay with your husband,

giving someone else or all sex it's not that bad put it that way around No No Okay It's a really short one

But it's I briefly read over And it's funny Go on It's called an awful dating story Okay Here for it Can't wait

Hi there Well I had a whole summer Of truly awful dates And Sounds like you Sounds like you Is this you Wait did I write

I had a whole summer Of truly awful dates And number one Goes to a guy Who said Oh guys There's a theme here What? Did he shit himself?

He doesn't drive. Fuck sake. Can we get your driving license? We are not going on dates of men who can't drive. Call me when you've got your license, babe. At least your theory. So we know that you're smart. Yeah, no, it's not for me.

Not for me. No. Thank you. It's giving child. A guy who said he doesn't drive, but he would like to take me on a river walk. So I thought I'd give him... Sorry, you a dog. A river walk.

I actually do like going for a walk I do but we like a bit more effort Yeah At least take me on the river Like Honestly like I actually really don't like it when someone asks me on a walk on a first day I just say I'm not a dog

Yeah Go find a dog Yeah Fine like later on like do different things Or you've gone out for like a really nice meal And then it's summer and you go for a walk like around London Yeah that's different But like I just think it's giving low effort

Yeah I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt I picked him up and drove down to the river he suggested it was an awful river brown full of rubbish and shopping trolley shopping trolley he said the scene

I get there I'm in my trainers I'm ready for this I'm like do you know what we're going to go for this river it's a poo river Oh no You think that got a shat in it And the river

At a toilet Was shipping containers As the few Sure isn't trying to take your dogging He's chosen this river For what reason We don't know it's a bit worrying Yeah

Feeling disappointed and determined We walked for a while Making small talk We came to a clearing Where he said Oh no There used to be a bench here But it was now a large log

Covered in brambles He suggested we sit down and I found the only spot where I wouldn't get stung. Oh no. He then pulled out a four pack of Stella from his ransom and said, up the road. What the fuck? My heart sank.

And I told him, I'd better head off as my friend was tracking my location and it would be dark soon. He said, it's not dark for another three hours and I need a lift time. I just snorted. Oh my God, I'm really hot. Oh my God. I swear. Number one spot on what the fuck. It's the Stella for me.

No, it's the rucksack for me. So he's just been on this wall holding a rucksack. Sorry, why are we going out with schoolboys? Oh no. Such a visual on this. Forever single. I just don't. I want more of these guys.

I need more. Some of you must have been on bad days. Come on. We want some more. That is. I love that. I'm here for it. This one is called gut feeling, detective and fake Instagram. Okay. Hello. So here's my story. I've been with my partner 12 years in May. Last September he told me he wasn't sure about our relationship. He felt empty and unhappy and just wanted peace. He said, I never listen and he felt disrespected. We decided to work on our relationship, date nights, making time for each other and have lots of sex. Sounds good. For three months it was going great. He went away the last weekend in November. I spoke to him on the phone on the Friday at 12, but he was short with me. I then text him about 10 times over the weekend and no response. So I thought that was strange. He came home and acted

normal. I didn't question it, but something didn't sit right. From that weekend, he was constantly on his phone to the point where he had to keep charging it and his headphones on saying he was watching YouTube stuff. Oh, so I decided to make a fake Instagram account and I love women. Sorry, like just the thought process. I just feel like it's, it's only a woman. But there I was thinking that like the title was that he had a fake Instagram. Oh, right. Yeah, so did I. Okay. So I decided to make a fake Instagram account and follow the women. I thought, he was texting having an emotional affair with. I don't know.

I was trying to find out information and I pretended I was a man and she told me she liked someone from work. Stop it. I thought she was going to create an account to talk to him as a woman. Fast forward 13th of December he said he was going to the gym

and then going to a workmate's house for drinks. I felt something was off again so I went on his emails on his laptop and there was a confirmation of a hotel stay. for that night. I questioned him. He phoned me, told me a complete lie, but I said I believed him.

I didn't. I went on his watch and basically found out that he was having an affair. Told him I knew and he kept up the lies and decided to stay with her that night and not come home until 8pm the next day. We had a chat about it all

and I was completely broken. He had one night away at his parents. We had a chat after chat about everything and trying to take it day by day. I want to still be with him. and try as I love him. We have a 10-year-old boy, but since then things have come up,

and I don't know if it's just me being paranoid. He keeps wanting to stay at hotels once a week. I don't think that's you being paranoid. He said to help his back out, as he's been sleeping on the sofa for two months now, and he said that he needs it to reflect and have space. No. Four weeks ago, we agreed not to be together for now,

but it feels like we are. We're still flirty banter and having sex. He's told me that he's not in contact with her. As she works in the office where he works, he works in the warehouse, but I do believe him. He's at a hotel tonight, and it's triggering me thinking that he's with her. He's lied so much and fabricated so many stories.

It's just hard to know what the truth is or not. Four weeks ago, he logged himself out of his emails on his laptop. He takes his phone everywhere with him, even in the shower. Are these red flags I need advice? Okay, you, you, this man is shagging this woman tonight. in the hotel room, if you think he's going there because he's got a bad back, you just need to, like, you just need to wake up, really. And I know it's probably because you don't want to, sorry, sorry, if you finish.

Yeah, sorry, I was like going. It was painful to listen to because I understand what it's like when you want to convince yourself that you know someone and you love them and you almost like can't accept that they could possibly do anything like this to you. I am telling you now, this man is not sleeping in a hotel on a weekly basis because he's, he has got a bad back from sleeping on the sofa. He is staying in a hotel room with this woman, possibly a different woman, possibly multiple women. He has no respect for you. He's lied time and time again. The fact he's taking his phone in the shower, the fact he's logged out of emails,

this isn't coincidental things that have happened. These are purposeful plans to try and stop you from finding out. You need to leave this man. He's cheating on you. He's manipulating you. But the fact you'll believe in these lies, only you have the power to stop this. Yeah, I think it's very, actually, I'm really annoyed. No, I think it's just, I think sometimes it's frustrating when we hear emails and it's so clear. I'm hoping that you hearing it makes you realize how clear it is. Is it a red flag?

Yeah, like the fact that you're questioning it and you're like, oh, like, I don't know if I'm just being paranoid. What do you mean paranoid? You know he's cheated on you and he is just continuing to do so. So I think unfortunately only you can decide what you're willing to accept. But you need to be careful because it's sleeping with both of you. Yeah. Third wheel in my own relationship.

Hi both. I was recently introduced to your podcast by my best friend. What a great friend. What an amazing friend. Yeah. After listening, I resonate, if that's the word, a lot with what you talk about and what others send in. So here's my situation. Buckle in, we're in for a long one.

So my partner and I've been together since school. So it has been a minute. We're both 31. We have a child too. My partner has this female friend he's had since probably back then as well, if not before. But anyway, over probably the length we've been together, he will answer to her every call or need. And it's becoming more obvious to me over the last, I'll say, few months. It wasn't obvious before as they used to work together. So probably easier for them to hang out than it is now. But recently, she's just there needing something constantly. She now only lives. streets away. She calls or messages that she needs something. Doesn't matter what it could be. Literally could be a pack of Christmas on the shop. Bear in mind there's a shop literally two minutes from her house. He'll drop what he's doing and go get everything she needs. That is so odd. She literally contacts him for everything. Everything you would ask a partner to do for you. She asks him to do it. I've brought it up numerous times and so have my friends that their little situation is weird. They have dinners together, etc. And when he's home,

he's as much use as a chocolate teapot. I'm left to carry everything plus the mental load of making sure our daughter has everything she needs. While he works, sees her, plays video games and just watches his phone. He literally only gets involved when he has no other choice. I've sat down and had numerous conversations with him over the last year about it

and it makes me uncomfortable and he needs to be more present at home with me and our daughter and about how exhausted I am with doing everything and he will sit and he would listen and he will improve. for a little while, and then once the dust settles, off he pops. Now, coming into the last month or so, it's got a little wild. He was popping around every night after work rather than coming home,

albeit me and my daughter were asleep, but still he chooses to go there. We had a conversation about that and how the only reason I don't stay awake is because I've done too many times where he's not come home and thought it's pointless staying up, and the usual pull your finger out of your ass conversation along with she needs to back off. And he's apologised and made changes and does come home and limited his contact. Also, I thought. Now coming into the, a few days ago, he said he had to leave early to sort something at work. Something in me knew this was bullshit.

So minutes after he left, I grabbed my best friend, or in this case, my accomplice. And we went for a drive past his friend's house. And lo and behold, there were his shoes on the step. Why are they outside? and his car in the car park. So he went home, switched cars, because mine's not small and subtle. We went back and hid and watched to see what time he'd leave. He stayed there right up until he actually had to leave. I pulled him up on it that night. My blood was boiling. His excuse was, oh, she rang me on the way to go to the shop for her. The fool I am, believe that. Well, till the following morning, when I found out she never did contact him.

She hadn't messaged him in days, so he barefaced lied to me and still refused to admit it until I said, show me the message to settle my feelings. Show me and then it all came out. He just didn't want to tell me. So we've had yet another conversation about it and I've told him last time I'm doing it and after that I'm gone. Everything's been fine up until now when I found out she's trying to organise them both getting food together. It just, it's really hard because he's all I've ever known, literally even in intimacy. He's been my first and we had the daughter

And I do love him But I don't really think I can do this dance anymore I feel insane Like I followed him But literally, as much as I don't feel I want to be here I can't imagine life without him. Help.

The thing is, and we've spoken about it quite a lot before in regards to like platonic relationships. Like I still don't know how I feel about platonic relationships if men and women can really have friendships. Now, I think the only reason why I believe it can be a thing is because I have witnessed certain men and women

being friends platonically. But there needs to be boundaries in place where you put your partner before your friend regardless of how long you've been with your friend and he hasn't done that. And I feel like lines are so blurred now that it's a bit like, it sounds like he's prioritising her over you. he's not taking your feelings into account at any point

and it's got to a point where you're feeling the need to spy on him there's a reason for you feeling that do you know what I mean? I think for me the biggest red flag in all of this is the fact you've raised it multiple times he knows it's making you feel uncomfortable and he's not changing it. He knows it's an issue for you

he'll change it for a few weeks and then go back for me that's someone who doesn't respect you doesn't really care about how they're making you feel and like Tash said he's prioritising even if it is just a friendship thing he's still not making you a priority you or your daughter are a priority and I think that is for me the biggest

flag to not be heard in a relationship is so dangerous you end up it's setting something off inside you that feels uncomfortable I think for me as well as the fact he's lying about certain things as well if there was nothing

shady going on or whatever it is why would you lie why would you not just be honest but I think for me it's the fact you're voicing an opinion you're voicing how it's making you feel and he's still doing it anyway. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't respect the way I feel,

someone who's constantly choosing to behave in a way that he knows is going to make me feel uncomfortable, upset. That's not someone I would want to be with. I think also, like, I can definitely speak from experience with, it's so scary thinking about not being with the person that you've been with for such a long time. They're the only person you know. But habit and what you're used to doesn't mean that's the best thing for you.

I think sometimes removing yourself from that situation and really reflecting on what the relationship is actually doing for you and bringing to you, maybe it's a sign that now's the time to be drawing a line and experiencing life without him. Because yeah, it doesn't sound like... I think it's okay to be scared of the unknown. I think everyone leaving any relationship, no matter how long you've been with someone, it is scary and terrifying to go back to starting again. And it's easier to stay.

It's easier to stay. doesn't mean it's the right decision. And I also feel like sometimes people think that the right decision should feel really certain and really safe. And it's not. Like, it's the harder decision sometimes are the ones that we need to do. And I also think, like, for me, that God, it was something I was terrified about. And I'd only been, like, not only, but I was with my ex-husband for 10 years.

And it is terrifying. And I think you build up a lot of these ideas in your head about, what it's going to be like and whether anyone will love you again and all these kind of things but I promise you like every single situation you go through that you never expected to encountering your life

they're the making of you things like this shape you as a person they change you they progress you and you're all evolving to someone you didn't know you could be or look back and think God I was being disrespectful for so long and now I'm finally being treated like this do you know what

Find me someone. Find me a woman that regrets leaving an unhappy marriage. I don't know anyone. Find me her. Find me her. I'd love to her. Bring her here to the studio. Yeah.

Doesn't exist. Well, let's do products of the week. Okay. I'm going to show us out. She's wearing. I don't know if we could do a little closer. But my new necklace from Willa and Bo, you've probably, I'm pretty sure I've shared her stuff before.

It's where all my earrings are from. My stacks. This stuff. illusion hoop is unbelievable as well. It makes it look like you've got two piercings. But this necklace, so they build your own necklaces. You design like your own, so you get, you can choose. There's different chains you can get.

And then she's got all cute little charm. So I've gone for one that says mama, one that's a T and one that's an M. and I chose different fonts because I just thought it was cute. You can obviously get the same font. There's so many to choose from. She's got one that says love. They're honestly like I'm obsessed with it. And I also like that on the chain link that I've got, you can change how long it is.

So I've like layered it. You can't see my other one, but I layer it with my others. So yeah, just really cute, really nice. Mother's Day's coming up, you know, put these things forward. Just to treat yourself. Love that. Okay, confession story from the other woman. Oh.

Just thought you might like this one. When I was 21, I was seeing someone who I thought had separated from his girlfriend, who he shared two children with. Little did I know that eight months down the line when I fell hooked, blind and Sinker for his bullshit. He turned out that in fact he had been with his girlfriend the entire time. I am so shocked. Blame it on age or low self-esteem.

I didn't leave him. I continued to be his bit on the side for five years. Until one night I went out and met a man who I thought had potential and gave me his number. I found out a week later he was extremely close friends with the man I'd been seeing for years. Not to be beaten by someone who had dangled a carrot in front of me for years. I continue to talk to his friend anyway. Fast forward a few years. I'm now in a wonderful relationship

with the friend. More content and happier than I've ever been and the best bit about it is knowing I was his karma in the end. I see his face drop every time I enter a room with his friend and there is nothing he can say or do about it because he'd be showing his ass. Wow. Wow. Oh my God. I love that. I love that. That is karma. That is what goes around comes around. That is brilliant. Love that. Let's do an affirmation of the week, baby.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to read this thread. It's not really an affirmation, but I saved it because I also think it really relates to this last story we heard about like being scared to start over. So just listen. How can we say divorce ruins families when if you walked past her window on a Sunday morning, you'll see a single mom dancing barefoot in the kitchen with their kids. Pancakes on the stove, music too loud. unlike catching the dust in the air like glitter.

No one is tiptoeing. No one is waiting for a daughter slam. If you look through the glass and still called this family broken, because there's only one adult at the table, I'd wonder what exactly you think wholeness looks like. One day these kids will be grown and someone will ask them about their childhood. And maybe they'll say, yeah, my parents got divorced when I was eight and it was scary at first. But maybe they'll also say, after that, mum started laughing again.

Dad actually showed up at my games. Our holidays were quieter, but they were kinder. That doesn't sound like a family that was ruined. That sounds like a family that chose a different map. They say divorce breaks apart the family, but I think about the years when the family only smiled for the camera. The long holiday dinners where everyone passed dishes and swallowed their feelings. The way the air went sharp the second the front door opened.

Then I think about those same kids now, shuttling between two smaller homes where the laughter is real, where each parent gets to show up as a human being instead of a ghost. tell me again which version is shattered and which one is saved. I love that. How nice is that? So nice. I saw it and it like gave me like goosebumps.

Yeah, I feel like you guys need to hear that. It's actually a longer thread than that. But love that. That was really nice. Thank you guys so much. Keep sending in your emails, your confessions. Go and join Patreon if you want some extra episodes. And we'll see you next week.

See you and love you. Bye. Bye.