Not As We Planned - I Married The Wrong Person… But It Led Me To The Love Of My Life

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

What if your biggest heartbreak is actually the beginning of your happiest chapter?This week, we share some of the most uplifting listener stories we’ve ever received. From a woman whose husband left her for her friend before she unexpectedly found the love of her life, to a listener whose husband walked out just weeks after their wedding and during pregnancy, only for her to build the blended family she’d always dreamed of. We also hear from women who thought they’d never trust again, survived affairs, divorce and heartbreak, and discovered that life really can get better. Watch the podcast on YouTubeGet a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon:Join Our CommunityInstagramTikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi. You're listening to Not As We Planned. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel the high and I'm one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Not As We planned. We hope you are good.

How are you? I'm really good. How are you? Yeah, good. You look like you're... Going hold on. Yeah. Also like you're really brown.

I tanned last night. Did you? What did you use? I've never tried it. Do I need to give it a go? Yeah. Maybe I'd give it a go. I'm like holding out and not tanning because I've got a party on Saturday night.

So I'm like, I put like crappy tan on. I know. It's just, it's not a vibe, not a vibe. Any updates for us? No, you? No, I don't really feel like I've got much of a report. But something that we wanted to do. We feel like, we obviously occasionally get nice emails in,

but I feel like recently we've just been sort of hit with a lot of, you know, we're all giving up hope. Fake cancer stories and like sleeping with people's husbands. It's not very positive vibes. It's just getting a bit much. We need some hope. Yeah, we reached out to you guys and we wanted some stories with happy endings. Or we want to just make you guys realize that this isn't just a podcast for people,

heartbroken. It can be people that are happy or found happiness through going through something. So we're going to have a bit of a positive We are, I'm excited. I'm going to come away. Like, I'm going to fall in love. Yeah. Right. Spread the love.

This one we're going to start with. It's called Happy After Divorce. Cute. Hi girls. I should write him with my before divorce story. I've started many times. It's so long but one day maybe. Okay. My marriage ended in October 2018. I I had just turned 41 and he left me for my so-called friend.

Cute. For a year, I didn't date. I didn't know how to. I joined plenty of fish and Tinder in 2019. Plenty of fish. And that was wild. I honestly thought many times, why am I putting myself through this?

A question I asked myself frequently. Then in November 2020, I matched with Jay on Tinder. We got chatting and he wasn't inappropriate. He was funny and we had a... a good amount of stuff in common. My eldest was turning 18 when we had arranged meet up. Remember this was COVID times. Nothing was open, so options for anything were minimal. I realised I'd been too keen in trying to fit everything in, so I had to ask him to reschedule.

Now, anyone who stated knows a reschedule can often be a red flag. So I was really worried. Anyway, I was wrong, and we met a few days later than planned at his place for a cup of tea one lunchtime. We chatted for a few hours. He gave me a little kiss and I was on my way home. I was smitten, but also thinking I wouldn't hear from him again. Wrong again. I was told free the following evening so we met again. The chat kept flowing and the kissing increased. The days and weeks that followed were great. We ended up in our own little routine working around the kids and COVID. Christmas came and he bought me a girlfriend card whilst I had scoured the internet for one that didn't say love and didn't say boyfriend, etc. trying to play it

cool. Anyway, the card showed me I was more. Over time, my kids were introduced and life was spending time between my house and his. Life was so good. We've gone through a lot, being supportive, laughing, crying and being best friends too. And now we're here in 2026. We live together with my daughter. My sons both had their own houses now. And in around four months, we are getting married. He asked me in September 2025, totally out of the blue for me. He had it all planned. He had designed my ring and everything. I've never been so happy. Our wedding date is 7th of the 11th, 2026. Are we coming? And I'm coming to see you both in Edinburgh on the 15th of the 11th, 2026. So I'll be a brand new missis. Oh my God. We need, we need your name. We need to shout out for you.

Yeah, we'll shout out. Never lose hope there is someone for everyone, even if you thought you already had had your someone. Love you girls, thanks for everything you do for us all. That's so much. Oh, I love that. That makes me. Happy. Same. I would say that gave me goosebumps, but I've already got them because I'm a bit cold.

But I feel like it added. I love that. I need it that. It was really, really cute. This is called A Long Journey, but a Happy Ending Story. Hello, wonderful ladies. You asked me for some happy stories,

so here's mine. I'll try and keep it short. I married very young to someone 10 years older than me. We had a son together and ultimately split after 16 years together in 2010. He was addicted to porn, which absolutely battered myself. self-esteem, lots of arguments, lots of hiding it, and eventually no love or trust left.

He refused coupled counselling, which I thought we should do for the sake of our son, and he told me I just needed to make a decision, so I did. Roll on 12 months and I started a relationship with a man who bought all the fun, friends, socialising that I didn't have in my marriage. Happy had no social life, no friend and didn't really like to go out. And it was amazing. We lived 90 minutes apart for four years before I eventually sold my house, to move in with him.

My son didn't want to go. His upset was heartbreaking. And I felt very selfish, but I felt like we needed to take this next step of moving in together and being a blended family with his children as well. It turned out that it's easy to cheat when you don't live together,

but much more difficult to hide when you do. He had been cheating with multiple women, probably for all of our relationship, and was also on dating sites. I also found out that he liked to dress up as a woman and be dominated. I can't pretend to understand it but I'm an open-minded person

not much shocks me but he chose not to share that part of himself with me I mean that's like a bit of a deal breaker in it like it's just such an odd thing to... Oh don't worry babe you carry on dressing as Sandra don't worry go and sell your house move your child that doesn't want to move and then all like you know are like dressing up as your sister

I just think there should be like a level of kink that you have to disclose before you make like big life choices and maybe don't cheat as well Well, yeah, that thing. The feelings of betrayal after I moved my whole life and my sons was devastating. Once again, it was left to me to make the hard decision and two years after leaving, I moved back home. So by now, I'm an insecure wreck, not good enough for a man to only love and want me, determined to never date again, numb inside and focused on my son and my work. COVID isolation made it easy to excuse why I wasn't putting myself out there and I hid from the world.

and then. Through mutual friends, this intelligent, funny, gentle giant of a man landed in my world who had been through trauma of his own but just went, I didn't cause all your damage, but let me take care of that for you. We have mutual interest, similar values, both tactile, bring on the PDA, talk about anything and everything, if one of us is down, the other one pulls them up again. We both had previous relationship trauma and were trying to understand each other's triggers and responses and sometimes successfully, often not. But at the same time, there was so much there that just worked. We decided to go to couples counselling.

Yes, at the beginning of our relationship, not at the end. Through it, we learnt what each other had been through, what we needed from each other and how to talk to each other, building on the initial strong synergy and attraction we had and working through the issues and barriers that might have prevented that good start from turning into something wonderful. And it was wonderful. Four years now, and I've never felt so appreciated, supported, understood and loved.

I don't have to be anyone but myself. I'm still more insecure than I probably should be, but it's a journey and he's supporting me with generosity and love. My advice to anyone now is always, if you're carrying baggage that's getting in the way of something that has true potential, if you weren't busy self-sabotaging because of your past experiences, do counselling together. At the beginning, not when it falls apart. It might or might not work, but if it does, you will understand each other in a way that makes everything else feel so easy. I've been a listener since the beginning and it's such a joy seeing you to go from strength

to strength. I love the way that you support your children, each other and the community of listeners that you feel. It's making me a bit emotional. You deserve every success. That wasn't short in the end, was it? Sorry. Keep me anonymous.

Oh, it's just so cute. Also, like, I actually thought, like, you were going to say, like, you're happy. He ended him was like the guy you move 90 minutes. Yeah, same. And then when you said that he like cheated and wanted to be a woman, I was a bit like. I mean, I'm glad you're not with him because he sounds like cruel. Oh, how nice. This is so nice.

We're going to next week. We're going to have all these horrible emails again and be like, it's interesting. Because I feel like Tash and I just sat here like, we've got no advice to give. You've nailed it. Oh, yeah. That's probably why we're going to go through about 10 billion emails. There's no advice. Holden, I feel really lost.

I am lost. Maybe we should read one bad. No, we're not doing it. Joking. Okay. Happy story ending. Hi Tash and Carly. I firstly want to say I love your podcast. I listen to it every Thursday before work. It is like therapy for me and I thought I would write in with my story. So if we go back to 2011, the year I met my children's dad, we actually went to school together but didn't properly meet until 2011 in our local nightclub. We were together for nearly a decade. We welcomed our first baby in August 2013, bought our first house in 2015 and got engaged in 2017. We had booked our wedding for August 2020. Life was good. We were happy as a family of three, went on lots of holidays and made lots of family memories.

In 2017, we decided to try for another baby. After a year of nothing, we both went to the doctors and had tests done. We were both fine, secondary infertility. After 18 months, I discovered I was pregnant. At six weeks, I started bleeding, and I had a miscarriage, and we were both devastated. A few months later, I was pregnant, but sadly, lost it at seven weeks and a year after my first miscarriage, I went on to have my third miscarriage.

We needed to give my body a break so we decided to move our wedding date from August 2020 to November 2019. We got married Saturday the 16th of November 2019. The day went perfectly and two days later we went on our honeymoon to Dubai for the week. Again perfect. Two days after we came home I found out I was pregnant. I was so anxious and the doctor prescribed me some medication to help keep this pregnancy. About two weeks later, my then husband came home from work and he looked unhappy and he says something weird. I can't remember the exact words now. I remember joking saying, don't you want this baby or something and he said, no, I don't think I do. I don't think I want any of this anymore. I said, are you joking? We only got married two weeks ago. Oh my God,

that is just absolutely wild. He said he thought getting married things would change. He never said what the problem was. I thought we were both happy. We talked and cried and said we would both try. the next day he was like a different person. He was cold. If I went into the room, he would walk away. He would ignore me if I was speaking. Looking back, I don't know why I put up with it. I think because I was pregnant, I didn't want to give up on our little family. After six weeks, he left in January 2020. When I was 12 weeks pregnant and after nine weeks of marriage, we hadn't even got our wedding photos back then. Oh my God. Can you imagine getting them back and that he's already fucking left? I didn't even tell my mum he left until about two weeks later because I was so embarrassed.

I kept that and my pregnancy a secret and eventually I broke down until my family. They were all devastated. They loved him. They felt cheated too. My parents gave us 10K towards the wedding and as you can imagine it didn't go down well. My dad had a few crosswords with him. He kept saying there was no one else. He used to work long hours, only getting Sundays off.

And when people asked why he left, he would tell people I would get in a mood if he didn't want to do anything as a family. He doesn't want the family life anymore I wish he would have just been honest instead of bottling it up and I tried to stay civil for our children. March 2020, a week before lockdown I had a random message or messenger from a guide to say, do you know where your husband is?

I do, he's with my wife and they've been sneaking around for months. Instead of being honest and cancelling our wedding, he decided to start an affair two months before our wedding with a work colleague. Another one. Old enough to be,

He's mum. Oh, stop it. That's interesting. I don't feel like we've had that before, have we? He went through with the wedding, got me pregnant, and then left. He said nothing happened whilst he was with me, and he still went behind my back texting and secret meetups at work, still cheating. What with your grandma?

Lockdown actually saved me. It made me become such a strong and independent person. I was able to work from home, and it was just me and my then six-year-old son. I was heavily pregnant but we had the best time. Daily walks, paddling pool, baking, crafts, family and friends would need treats on our doorstep and I was away from the ones that didn't support us. In August 2020 I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. My mum was my birthing partner. He didn't even ask to come. I would have rather had my mum there anyway. He came and visited later on that day and the next day he did come and pick us both up with my son and then that was when the start of being a single mummy of two began. He would have them a couple of afternoons a week to start within the

house and then gradually outside the house. He started having them every other weekend when my daughter was 18 months old. Cut a long story short, it was hard co-parenting for the first couple of years and we had many disagreements. It was his way or no way it felt like all the time. We finally got divorced in February 2024 and we get on a lot better now for the kids. In the meantime, I met my now partner at the end of 2020. I wasn't looking. My baby was only a few months old and we both had two children each from previous relationships. They all get on amazing. My partner bought my ex-husbands share in the house at the end of 2023. We have my children full time and they go to their dads every other weekend. My partner's kids are here every other weekend and he has them in the week for

football too. One weekend we have all the kids and the other weekend it's just us too and our adopted cat. we've decided not to have any children together we are both nearly 35 and want to tick off our bucket list and enjoy our four children we have most perfect life we got engaged summer 2024 and this july we will be getting married in cyprus with our close family by our side we will be an official blended family and we'll finally get our happily ever after sorry it's a long one but thank you for everything girls it's just so nice and like sometimes i think it's looking at something like that and hearing like the period of time like i I don't know. It's just you don't know what's around the corner. And I really hope that these emails that we are sharing, if anyone is listening who is in the thick of it or feeling like crap or wondering like, is it ever going to, you know, be good for them again? I think it's things like this sometimes that we need that reminder that you just, you don't know what is going to happen.

I think as well, like sometimes you have to, sometimes I remind myself that like in order to grow, in order to become a better person, in order to sometimes live a better life, you have to go through periods that are difficult and challenging. And I think like when in my head I was like, oh, today we're doing like all happy endings. Like, great. Like it's just going to be people like they meet, they fall in love and run away. But actually the stories we're all hearing, like there's been a period where you're treated like absolute crap and it's really positive. And sometimes more than once. Yeah. So it's really, it is nice and it is really hopeful. Like as, you know, As a single girlie, it does give me hope that, you know, hopefully my happily ever after is around the corner.

Amen. This is called Positive Vives Only. Peace, yeah. Hi, girls. I've been watching the main episode titled I Found Out He's Been in Prison. At the start, Carly speaks about the retreat she was on and how listening to a lot of negative stories, you start to absorb negative energy. So I have a positive story for you both, but also for fellow listeners. You read out my email during last summer.

about my relationship with my ex, Brian. My email this time is not about him. It's not about the failed dates and there were many. In my last email, I was very hopeful about the guy I started seeing until he ghosted me. Oops. I took a break from the apps for maybe about a month and then one day I was really bored so I re-downloaded Tinder.

Chat into a few wasasters could see the red flags a mile off but I was bored and they filled some time. And then I matched with the sky and by the end of the first day of talk it was a Sunday. He had asked if I would like to go on a date with him, so we did on the Friday evening. We went bowling and I got an ice cream after a McDonald's. All I could think of was the guy who brought his sidepiece to McDonald's in one of your episodes, but not much else was open at the time.

He made his intentions very clear from day one that he was dating to marry. We had spoken about it in depth and are very much on the same page. I've unpacked a lot of our baggage from exes, which was a lot both sides. He's very consistent like something I've never experienced before. The communication is consistent. Even if he is on lad's holidays, he was still checking. Granted, not as much as when he's home, but it is a lad's holiday after all. His actions are consistent and it has taken him a while to break down my walls.

When he does something nice now, I don't look at him strangely and think why is he doing that? What is he up to? What does he want? He is just a nice guy. He helps around the house. He cuts my lawn without me even having to mention it. He's also been helping my dad renovate a property so I can start my own business and work from there, and my dad loves him. He has no kids, but is so supportive of me and my son.

He even supported me in court the last day, well, from the outside. He knows he is a very calming effect on my nervous system and how I stress over it. So having him there even for the three-hour round trip to the court was amazing. For my son's birthday, I was abroad with my son and my parents, so I asked him to pick me up a couple of balloons. and a cake for the school because it would be late the night before the birthday when we got home. Now, if I would have asked,

I would have gotten the bits and left them outside. He got why I asked and then more and arranged them in a big display even what a card for me to give to my son in case I didn't have one already. When it came to meeting my son, I'd never introduced him to anyone before, but this guy heard about an event local to my son

that he would like and suggested the three of us go there together. My son was overjoyed. They met the week before it. Of course, the guy brought presents. They hit it off immediately. We've had a few family days out and days in since, and we have a holiday for the three of us booked for the end of next month. But what has really cemented things for me, I had an accident at work and protocol is to go to A&E. I'm in healthcare and a needle stick injury requires a set of bloods to be done. No results yet, but I'm not worried. He came and waited with me. I told him I was fine and there was no need, but his response was, I won't. want to be there for you. His house is only 20 minutes from mine and we never met before. Rural

Island isn't exactly overcrowded. So how we never met before, our first date, I will never know. So for anyone in the thick of it, be it after leaving a relationship, scrolling through the apps, having bad dates, being ghosted, there is hope. Nice guys are not mythical creatures, I swear. Oh really? Update. We had our family holiday and all I can say is, wow. Not once did we have cross words. My son enjoyed every second of it and even tried calamari. May not sound impressive to some people, but for a child who would normally only eat chicken nuggets or a plain burger, trying new food is massive. Oh, and he liked it, which was even more of a bigger shock. We were only back two days and booked another trip for the three of us. It was just

blissful. I wish it could never have ended. Myself and my boyfriend are off to London on our own for Pitbull. I'm a massive fan. Everyone laughs, but I don't care. We're going to see him twice. the Wednesday and then flying to London for the Thursday for the concert on the Friday. And this guy, he's just happy to do it because he knows it is something that I will love. Honestly, I've never met anyone like him. Some weekends we've gotten obscenely drunk, never any arguments. This for me is practically unheard of. Even one night I ended up getting sick.

He was so patient and helpful. Genuinely, a nice caring guy. I could go on and on. But I just wanted to share a positive story. happy endings are possible keep doing what you do girls your pod is amazing it's really cute

when you hear like this is uplifting me yeah we love nice men it'd be nice if we had a positive story from a man I can see the light that everyone has been telling me about

I've been wanting to email him for so long but struggled to write the words without it being the longest story ever I wanted to include everything so you and your listeners understood the shit I've been through but now I no longer need people to hear that I just want people to hear that things really do get better. My partner of almost 15 years and husband of four of those,

very suddenly and unexpectedly ended our marriage back in October. We have our 12-year-old boy and have been trying for a baby for three years and have finally had our beautiful baby girl on the 1st of September after also losing a baby through the trying to conceive journey. The day our little girl was born, our son had suffered ruptured appendicitis and got rushed into hospital. Oh my God. He was just minutes away from it possibly being fatal.

He was in hospital for around two weeks and missed his first few weeks starting secondary school. A newborn and a very poorly, almost teenager, it was really tough and not the experience I had dreamt and longed for for all of those years. And then, bam, 18th October, which was the date we had lost our little baby just two years previous. My husband told me he no longer loved me and was leaving me. I was just six weeks postpartum and it's safe to say I was lost, confused, heartbroken and generally. broken all over. He had been my whole life from the age of 16 and I had lost him. I never saw this coming. He was a little distant when I was pregnant but when I asked him he just told me he was nervous about the baby coming and that I was overthinking it. I couldn't believe what was happening

and like truly couldn't believe it. I felt like my life had ended. I couldn't enjoy holding my little baby and it almost felt like I resented her for days. I couldn't drive. I couldn't go into shops and listen to music, look at my phone, sleep, stay awake, smile, look after the house, you name it, I couldn't do it. I thought I would be broken forever. Three weeks later, I find out he's meeting a friend and colleague for dinner. Another one. He denies it and continues to deny it for months when my gut instinct knew. He was taking my little baby out with her from as little as three weeks after leaving me. I constantly felt sick to my stomach at the thought of them going around playing happy families of my little baby and gorgeous boy.

Oh, like three weeks. Oh, and this friend had come to my house to meet my little girl when she was just three weeks old. He brought her in and I remember standing in the other room listening to their conversation. I should have known then that my gut was telling me something. There is so much I could say, I have been treated like shit. He takes no accountability for any of his actions and the way he's dealt with things. He's oblivious to it all.

It's like he had forgotten who I have. I was overnight and that's the hardest thing to deal with when you're still madly in love with that person. Like I said in the beginning of this message, just a few months ago I wanted to write this email and list all the awful and heartbreaking things he's done. Maybe to get some kind of validation and some sympathy, I don't know, but I don't want to do that today. Instead, I want to give people some hope. It's been over eight months for me now since I thought my world had ended and there is still so many hard aspects to my life right now. My son is struggling with his dad and their relationship is strained. My ex can be really difficult with wanting everything

his way when it comes to when he wants the children. But you know what? That's fine, because I'm happy and my children are happy with me. Eight months ago, I never thought I'd say those words. I'm happy. I'm more than happy. I can see that my life is going to be fulfilled. I'm going to live my 30s to my fullest. I'm going to love myself and be the safe space and home that my children need. Mine and my son's relationship is stronger than it's ever been. My little girl is thriving and becoming the most wonderful little best friend. I have my beautiful family and some of the most amazing friends who I truly thought I would lose from this. But I haven't.

They've just become stronger. I found my humour again. I'm fucking hilarious. I've realised that I am confident that I like to act silly in public and not give a shit. I realize how much of an impap I am, how much I care for everyone. And I'm so proud of the person I am and the person I know I'm going to continue. you to grow into. I know I want to find a job that's going to help children. I don't know what yet, but I know my purpose in working in life is to be there for children in some way or another.

I know I'm going to find a new rented property and make it my own little haven and be even more content. For so long, I've been scared of being on my own, but now I'm starting to realize that being on my own just gives me more control of how I want my life to look for me and my babies. I've learnt that women are fucking superheroes. We get the shittest shit thrown our way and we say we can't deal with it, but then we do every single time and just come out stronger from it. I am proud of every single woman who has been heartbroken and lost and I'm already proud of the person you're going to allow yourself to become. Tash and Carly, thank you. I started your podcast just a month after my ex-husband left. I would sit through them and cry endlessly and then

laugh uncontrollably. You got me through the hardest months of my life and I owe you so much for that. I hope you know and understand just how much this podcast helps. Thank you. you for starting this and just for being yourselves. And I'm coming to your London date in November. Solo, me going to an event on my own, who is this woman? And I can't wait. We've got this ladies. We've fucking got this. And don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise and let them do your sparkle. And P.S. I can't wait to find my future husband who will love me more than life itself. That will one day find me. And for now, I'm happy finding who I truly am and just live in life. but I will continue fucking the random guy

I'm actually on Facebook dating who is seven years older than me because it makes me feel alive and a little bit naughty. Entering my slutty 30s and I'm here for it. So much love to you all. Can I just say?

Go you. But it's really nice that when we ask a happy story that you sent this in and I love that. It's not focused on being with someone else. Literally what I was going to say. I love when you get to that stage where you were genuinely,

you reach that stage where you are, you and need so happy in your own company, on your own, in your peaceful little world. And I think I really, really relate to that. And I think we put so much emphasis on this happiness being determined by our relationship status. And I think that as a single person can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure and a bit like, oh my God, like I'm failing at this part of life. Like I feel like I've got all these other parts of my life together, but I'm just missing the man. And yes, whilst like, like you, like I can't wait to meet my person. person but also it's so comforting to know that my happiness is no longer dictated by whether

I'm with someone and whether I'm not and I think that's a really powerful place to be. I think that will set you up when you are ready today and you are ready to put yourself out there to find your person, not just Mr. Facebook, that you're going to be in a position where you just know your worth, you know what you're looking for and you don't waste time on people who just aren't your person. Yeah. That email actually touched. me more than the people that have found a partner. What really stood out to me with that email was how highly you spoke about yourself. Like I loved that, that you were just listing off all these positives about you.

Like, I'm funny, I've got such a lot of empathy. Like, that is the sort of love that we should all aspire to have. 100%. Like love for ourselves. Like, pour into our own. Like, look what I fucking can offer. Like, any man will be lucky to have me. I'm this, I'm that, I'm good at this.

Like, that energy is just like, oh. It's like, it's literally like oozing out of that email and just saying, like, it lifted me. It makes me want to do. I really hope that it has, like, lifted anyone else that's having a bad day because that, that was, like, loved it. The greatest love story is the love story you have with yourself. Can I get it queens? Can I get a hill yeah? Whoop, who, boop. Can I get a hill? Yeah. Love that. This is just called Happy Story.

This is a happy story. 11 years ago, five months after having my second child, my eldest was two, with my childhood sweetheart, I found out that he was leaving me and he was having an affair. With someone we also went to school with, she even came to our wedding. Stunning. But that's another story. Biggest shock of my life. This absolutely destroyed me and I really did.

did see the depths of rock bottom. I had to carry on for those babies, though. They gave me the strength to keep going through the days. I spent two and a half years alone, dating on and off with more shitmen, and then I stopped looking. I was content with my babies and my friends, and then bam, insid a DM. From a guy that I went to school with, we'd never really spoken at school. We met for a drink, and the rest is history.

Oh, cute. Genuinely, he is the sweetest and the most thoughtful. thoughtful man I've ever known, like the man we all dream about, took on my two children as if they were his flesh and blood, provided and supported us like it was his full-time job, and then we had our youngest, who is now six. We got married, something I thought I would never do after getting divorced, and we moved 200 miles away to the seaside, and it was the best decision I ever made. To let him into our lives, let my great wall of China down, and let love find me, and move our entire lives. The universe really did have big plans for me

and I can honestly say I'm so glad it all happened. I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. I'm glad I slipped out of the hands of someone that couldn't love me right. Sometimes what didn't work for you really did end up working out for you. Just know that if you're going through the thick of it, you never know what's around the corner. You will be happy again. You just have to stop settling for less than you deserve

because you really do deserve it. Just keep getting through those dark days and I've promise you they get so much brighter and someone will love your kids too. Thank you so much for the pod. I wish I had it 11 years ago when I was in the thick of it. You really matter. This podcast matters and please never stop. Stop. I know. Like everyone's giving me goose fun. Why does everyone be so nice? I know. Like oh my God my head's so big. More words of affirmation. It's my love language. It's just, it's just so nice. I think that I obviously appreciate that people are probably more inclined to email in when they're really desperate for that advice or they're looking for that hope or they

want to, you know, they need, yeah, they need, they need help and I don't want that to ever stop by the way. This isn't us trying to say that we don't want negative emails anymore. No, so keep sending. We want to help people. That is the whole purpose of this, but sometimes it's quite nice to take a step back and be like, wow, like there are good men out there. And I guess we don't get to share that enough because people maybe don't feel as inclined to be like, I need to write my email. Yeah, it might feel like a bit like braggy or, but please send in your emails. Even people that have never been through divorce,

people that genuinely fell in love at fucking 14 and they're still together and they're working through their shit every day because they believe in the for better or for worse and sticking through everything because it's nice to know that there are fucking good men out there because there are yeah i i do feel like i've been slightly hard done by that i went to an all girls i went to grandma school i went to an all girl school too like i feel like i've got people from my past to creep back i'm letting you know now i wouldn't want to be with any of those boys that i knew in other schools like no i know i just feel like i'm limited okay we'll make sure you send your kids to um mix yeah yeah yeah i mean it didn't really help i uh i went to school with my ex-husband

That went well Okay Happy update Good morning Morning Your potter's got me through some very dark nights Last year

And first of all I wanted to say Thank you for not letting me And Mother's feel alone You lovely ladies read out my email in June last year My mate was walking her cats in the park And saw my husband kissing his bit on the sign I remember that Can we get a photo by the way

Of your mate walking her cats I need a visual Yeah I wanted to give an update and a bit more of the story and hopefully give you a bit of hope to your listeners some a year later and finally feel there's like the end of the tunnel and it's not a train. So in April, I'm joking. I like you. So in April 25, my husband stymalled me out of nowhere.

If I asked how his day was, he would just stare at me and not answer. He would ignore me and only talk through our son. What would your mum want for dinner? Can you actually imagine? Imagine if you just look. How are you? Maybe I should try them. What would your mom want for dinner, etc?

And I felt like a ghost, literally met with silence in my own home, walking on eggshells constantly and trying to hold it together for our autistic son. And this went on for three whole weeks. Every time I started a conversation, I was met with those black eyes. Those who have been with a narque will understand the black eyes. I as a mug wrote him a letter, pouring my heart out, begging for him to talk to me. I assumed it was all related to work as he had a stressful job and sought a lot of trauma. He's in the police.

He read the letter and then put it in the bin in front of me. One day, a few days later, I was at work. He took my son to the local wildlife sanctuary. And when I got home, I asked my son, how was your day? And my son replied, we saw Susie. My husband quickly said, Susie is a little girl we met in the play park who he became friends with. And I felt that feeling in my tummy that knew something wasn't right.

My child has social communication issues and doesn't make friends easily. A few months later, I ended up in A&E and E. with a suspected cardiovascular issue. My heart rate wasn't calming down. My body was trying to tell me something and I was sent home with the diagnosis of anxiety. Classic. I tried to spice things up and send him a dirty picture.

Not too dirty, just me and my underwear looking cute. And he replied, no fucking thank you. Sorry, just let me process that for one minute. Oh my fucking God. A week later, he told me he was meeting the boys in the park and then I went into detective mode. my friend walks her cats yes cats

in the same park and his location service was on so I sent her his location and a few minutes later I received a message from my best friend saying I'm sorry and I said film it and then received another video of him kissing a woman at work

another one another one and yep you guessed it after searching his Facebook friends I realised it was Susie he did get one thing right it was a little girl as she was 21

and I was 37 at the time. Oh, wow. Long story short, he was living a double life. Family days out with our son, Instagram stories together as a family, or whilst in another home cooking dinners, playing wife none the wiser. How can you be putting, like, that's what baffles me.

Like, posting stories, like happy families, and he's married. She knew, Amma's playing along. He had blocked me from seeing the stories on Instagram. His work colleagues knew, and I'm guessing his friends and family also know knew so I felt even more of a mug he never came home I packed his band bags and filed for divorce a few weeks later I never got an apology from him no accountability I spent nights crying on the cold

laminate floor trying to work out his behaviour but now a year later I can happily say I don't understand his behaviour because I would never do it because I am a good person with values amen court battles over the house are still continuing but I'm finally out the fog I found myself again I got up got dressed each day read my son's stories about living in two houses. I looked after all the animals he left behind. I walked the dogs. I picked my son up from nursery and advocated for him for his

EHDP. Claps for me. I then reconnected with a friend from secondary school. For God's sake! Oh no! This is where they were getting them from. Maybe I'm destined to be a lesbian. Who I hadn't

seen in 20 years and you guessed it fell in love again with open communication who gets my love and supports me every single fucking day. I am never met with silence, just support. He's building a relationship with my son slowly and I feel I'm getting a family again. It's been a rough year and my trust issues are still being worked on, but I'm healing and I'm waking up and finally feeling the sunlight on my face again. Last summer I felt so cold. My therapy bills are high, but it is so worth it. My son and I now dance to music a bit too loud. We run barefoot in the garden and we laugh

all the time whilst looking after the farm full of animals. Thank you again. again for taking the time to read this. I wanted to give hope to those in the trenches, as I promise it gets better. Get a good lawyer and a good therapist with thanks. Oh, like, I love that. It makes me so happy. Look, what you went through.

I mean, oh my God, like sending that message. That's wild. Yeah, that is, that is wild. Like, oh, I'm going to fall in love and live happily ever after. I know, I can't wait. Normally I'm like, I'm never meeting anyone again. I can't wait. Like, this is just like giving me a real booster.

my step. Spring in my step. That's it. Boost. Product of the week is Humantra. Humantra. These are electrolytes. If you follow me on my Instagram, you'll probably hear me harping on about electrolytes because

I genuinely think they're amazing. They're brilliant to like rehydrate your body, replenish like all the bits that go out. Sorry, my brain's not working today. But especially like if you exercise, you're sweating. Also really good if you're hung over. I always have them. If I've been out drinking, I have them that night when I get in. and also in the morning.

Stunning. This is their new pineapple flavour. It's probably my favourite one yet up there with the lychy. Can I smell it? Yeah. It just tastes like squash. I really.

I've tried a lot of different electrolytes and some of them are really, really salty and like you can drink them but they're not... Because I'm obviously, as you know, quite fussy. You can't like it. This isn't an ad by the way. Hamantra genuinely the ones that just taste like fruit. They're amazing.

You get them on Amazon, get them very... But yeah, if you're looking just for more hydration, especially like, I was thinking I could make like some electrolyte ice pops and stuff. Cute. Oh yeah. Yeah. For you, not the kids, yeah. Well, I don't think there's any harm in them. Can kids have a look? I haven't looked. But those ones also have like no added sugar crap rubbish. So they're great. Let's go check them out. I love that. Right. Confession of the week. A few months ago, I had my best friends, Hendo. I don't have any hens coming up, do you? No one and I know wants to get married. It's just divorce parties.

Yeah. We went to Ibitha and it was really fun. This is the first holiday that I've been on being single. So I thought, fuck it. I know where this is going. We were there for three nights. I slept with a different man each evening. No regret.

Don't care if you think I'm a slut. Had the best time. Now it's back to mum life. Like it never happened. I never judge anyone. You do you. Yeah, I was going to say you do you. As long as you had a good time and it was consensual, we're all good.

And it was safe and you're single. They probably weren't. But do you know what? What you don't know. Not your problem right now. Literally. Love that. Thanks for that.

Okay. Affirmation of the week. By my favourite Olivia Howell. I feel like I just read the shit out of her, but she's just unbelievable. Okay. Divorce at its core is sometimes the most radical love letter you ever write to your children. A quiet, steady declaration that says, we don't stay where love hurts.

Not anymore. Not in this family. Not in this generation. The bravery is in letting them witness you choose peace over performance, safety over tradition and truth over the story you were handed. Oh, she just...

Deep. She just gets it. Anyway, we love you guys. Thank you so much. We hope... Yes, go and get them. And we hope that you enjoyed that little. sort of like happy.

Go find the love of your life, honies. Yeah, go and get him or her or, you know, whatever you fancy. Or yourself. Go and find yourself. Go and fall in love with you. And we'll see you again next week for us more depressing shit. Jokes. Bye.

Bye.