Not As We Planned - It's Giving Desperate Housewives | Not As We Planned Podcast

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

We actually beg a listener to take our advice, or she will regret it, the lying boyfriend who made out he ended it to do her a favour, the shocking 9-year affair and watching history repeat itself! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi, you're listening to Not As We Plans. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel like I am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Not As Be Planned. We hope you are having a lovely week. Fabulous. And if you're not, hopefully this will lift you up a bit.

make you laugh make you cry whatever you need it to do if she is my very own whoever sang that who sang that let's just call you

Celinda on I know that wasn't her but how are you how's your week what's going on yeah I'm all good I think without saying too much

why did you just smile at me like that as I had water in my mouth That could have gone really wrong. I can't say too much, but there's just been like a situation that's happened recently where I just feel like, and we've spoken about it before, and you would have heard it on the episode,

we'd have been legally Nick, but sometimes there are situations where it's a case of like pick your battles and also when things don't like sit right with you, it's, I don't know, like deciphering, what a word, between, I'm going to, take my control back and something giving you anxiety you're probably like

Kylie what the hell are you talking about because I'm trying to get you through between lines but there's just been a situation where I've had to really think carefully about how I've wanted to handle it and whilst I potentially want to make a point about certain things I've had to listen to what actually makes me feel comfortable as a parent and as a primary carer and just a shout out really to any moms who are forever moving mountains to make things work like today we're filming all day and normally i don't have my kids on the day we film that's pretty much like why we film when we our filming schedule is based predominantly around my busy life i just do whatever she said

yes it's like okay you're the difficult one um but today do have them so we are juggling it all and i feel like i am literally rushing from place to place out today and I have had to rally up that village of people to help like I've had to get someone from Theo school to take him back because I wouldn't make it in time and I just think sometimes like that pressure does fall on us as the default parent as the primary parent and honestly like I feel like if God if I make it through to the end of tonight without like having some kind of mental breakdown I've done fucking well because I'm so glad I'm with you tonight We're at an event tonight and like just, just, but that's what I mean.

Like, so normally this would have been my kid free day. I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have had the kids. So I would just be like getting ready, like floating, like floating, dancing through life. And today I feel like it is going to be incredibly stressful. We're at an event in London. And, and then I'm up first thing to get the kids to school in the morning again, which I wouldn't usually have. But you just do these things for your kids. And yeah, just a shout out to anyone who's just making it all happen.

behind the scenes like this is my appreciation to you but i hope you know you're doing an absolutely fabulous job and you might not get the credit and recognition from the places you probably would want it but from us to you we recognize and we appreciate you and your kids will one day look back and do that too love that amen i mean i guess sort of like adding to that i feel like I've had a bit of mum guilt with extracurricular activities for the kids. I feel like for those children that are in a two-parent household, when you've got two adults to help with the juggle, you can have one kid at football on a Saturday morning and the other kid at gymnastics.

And I do feel like I know deep down that my kids would be doing so much more if we were still together and the money like there's some clubs that have come out this week that I would have loved to put Theo in yeah I can't yeah I guess for me like I haven't even managed to think about that aspect because I don't have the time capacity and it's just I don't know I feel like it's just a shame because I feel like you know my Saturday mornings are taken up by I be doing gymnastics but Rome is starting to show a real keen interest in football I've managed to get him into football at school which is great but school football is never the same level as like the football that you can get out of school. And then Blake has decided he doesn't want to do football anymore,

which is absolutely fine. But he's now starting to talk about how he wants to go back to doing jihitsu or maybe finding an instrument. And I just feel like I wish so much I could give them all these things and split myself in half and go here and go there. But my Saturday morning's already taken up. And that's the time that really is like prime time for football. And I just wish that I also, okay, fine, you've got to deal with the cars you're dealt with. But if I maybe had a co-parent who was like really passionate about football. Oh, can I take him? Yeah.

It's just, I guess it's just, it's, I feel bad because I know that they'd be doing more if. I felt really similarly this week. We had, all our clubs were released at school and all in the WhatsApp groupies, all these mum's like, oh, who's doing this? And I've like looked at all the pricing for things. I'm like, I can't physically do it. I'm at capacity already. and I feel really bad

and then there's like maths and like great so all the other kids are going to get ahead at maths and like my kid's going to be behind because I would never do maths car I know why I said to the age and do you want to do maths club

so that kind of made me feel a bit better but do you know what I mean I feel like sometimes we can't necessarily access the same things I'm like... It's even like I'm getting all the emails for like half-time camps and all my friends are doing camps

and there's one camp that I absolutely loves but everyone does the whole week because it's like a dance like theatrey singing one and then they do like a show on the Friday so really the best thing is to put them in all week but I don't need her to be in all week it is more expensive but then it's like when she's saying oh my friends are doing and I know that you can't do everything that everyone else is doing I don't know yeah it's

just one of those things isn't it wasn't as we planned hey hi let's get on with some emails okay guys we're looking very brown today both wearing brown tracksuits we look we look like big giant poos I was going for something more sexy like a log, like a yule, yule log. It's nearly Christmas, guys. It's nearly Christmas. Urgent dating advice needed, please.

We're here, dating gurus and all that. So it's a single guy. I did like a TikTok thing, like advice for what we don't want to see on men's dating profiles. And like, there's so many trigger men. It's actually giving me life for applying back to these men, like that they're just getting so, they're so triggered and aggressive. And they're like, who would take dating advice from a single

mom making me laugh. It's like I'm single by choice. Like I could very much be in a relationship with a narcissistic twat but I'm not. But anyway, if you want to laugh, going to have to head over it. Honestly, it's actually giving me life. Right. Ladies, I need your help. Absolutely love the podcast. Listen every week and I'm a Patreon member all the way from Australia. Australia. Is it? Yeah. We're going there. We're going there. We're going there one day, guys. We're going down on. A quick backstory on my life. I was married for 10 years, together for 15,

three children and what I thought was a great relationship. The White Picket Fence. In September of 2023, when my youngest was eight months old, I discovered my husband had been having a two-year affair. I called it quits that day. I kicked him out and never looked back. Oh, queen. The next two years was an emotional roller coaster

of trying to work through the separation, co-parenting, finances, etc, with a narcissist who I felt like at times just wanted to destroy me. We had to go the legal road and eventually it all got sorted only a couple of months ago in August 2025. I very much have spent the last two years working on myself. Any time I have to myself, I prioritised my physical and mental health. I've definitely had the divorce glow up. I feel and look amazing. I feel like I've done so much work on myself and I'm so much stronger, happier and content with my three girls. Now to the problem and the issue I need advice on. When it comes to dating, I haven't really dated much in the two years. I went on a few

dates, one year post-divorce and he was lovely, but not for me, so I walked away easily. And then I jumped on and off the apps this past year talking and chatting with guys only to have them ghost me, say that they would love a coffee and then I never hear from them again, etc. It's so draining. Over the past month, I deleted the apps again after being ghosted yet again. And at the same week, I had a kitchen installed in my house. Well, the kitchen guy has come into my life. Maybe I need a new kitchen. And within the space of two weeks, he's completely turned it upside down. The kitchen or your life? We hit it off straight away, easily talking and the conversation flowed between light-hearted, easy chats and deep and meaningful conversations

about the trauma we both experienced. He is as a child and mine through my divorce. Over the week of him installing the kitchen, we got to know each other. I bet you did. Yeah. Let's just break this unit. Giving like desperate housewise. It is.

I could just imagine like the eye contact that he like picks her out. Does he have like his like tool belt on with his hammer and, no. And he's like, oh, and you're in Australia and it gets. it's hot and he takes his top off. I forgot she was in Australia. Now, the scene is set a bit differently. Sexier now. The sea is outside and there's a dolphin in the background.

Whereabouts are you? I don't know. You've never been to Australia yet. No. Hold on. There's surfing outside the window. Okay. Right.

Back to the story. He had obviously met my three children. Of course. Oh, yeah. Standard. And was respectful and polite with them. One afternoon, after finishing work, he stayed for another two hours, just chatting, very platonic, but easily getting along and spending time together. That weekend, we talked all weekend through text whilst he was working, and things started progressing to lighthearted flirting.

We talked about our ex-relationships, and he said he had a long-term relationship for seven years, which ended at the beginning of 2024, and he dated someone for a couple of weeks at the end of 2024, and that was it. We are both very busy but made the effort to catch up on Friday night and spent three hours together talking, cuddling and finally getting a big, sorry, we shouldn't mean that, and finally getting it a bit physically heated. When I say I feel safe and secure and valued when I'm with him, it's an understatement. I've never felt like this with anyone.

When he hugged me, it's not just to tick a box or sexually charged like I always felt it was with my ex-husband. I feel like he was actually just present. We clicked like nothing I've experienced before. He's very emotionally intelligent despite being eight years younger than me. I saw him on the day after, very quickly as he popped in to fix something with the kitchen

and we had about half an hour together talking, chatting and building that connection. Honestly, I kept thinking, could it be this easy? Well, a day later, he dropped a bomb. I was going to say he dropped dead. Rest in peace, pepper, papa. Sorry, God, that really threw me.

It's not fine. Death is not fine. No. He's not dead. I don't think, anyway. I haven't got to the end yet. He dropped a bomb. Oh, fuck sakes.

He's married. He lives with his ex. He has five kids with three women. Carry on. He spent his entire life in prison. At 2 a.m., he sent me an essay of a message telling me that he hadn't told the whole child. truth about him and his ex.

Standard. We're actually married and she's not on ex. No, I'm joking. Oh. They had split at the beginning of 2024 and she had moved out but they had been on and off again since only a few weeks ago. Oh, liar. And she is expecting their baby in December of this year. Fuck off!

No! You cheating kitchen scumbag! Take your sink! Get out of it. Take your fucking fridge. We don't need your appliances in this house. We will eat on the kitchen floor. Right.

What a bomb. He has told me this literally one week after we started talking. He's been very upfront and honest about the situation. Are we on the same? And said they had been so toxic. I'm only trying for the baby. even tried relationship counselling earlier this year and it got them nowhere to the point that they had called it quits

only a few weeks before meeting me. He said there was no overlap and he wasn't expecting to meet anyone or looking but obviously we met through something very organic. Ladies, I don't know what to do. I don't feel like he's lying about any of it. My gut says he's not and that it's just really terrible timing but I don't know if I should just pull the pin early

and avoid getting my heartbroken again or explore it a little and see how things go. I feel like he's been so honest very early and we both feel like there is a real connection very quickly. Life is messy and I understand everyone comes with their own baggage. But I feel like this is a lot and I worry that with a new baby coming and he hasn't had any time to actually work through his shit properly,

maybe I'm just the rebound. I'm not one to date unintentionally and I know I get attached easily so I'm protective of my heart, especially after going through my divorce. How do you know if you should cut ties and run, I mean, if they give you red flags like this? Or if it's just in a very difficult time and we could be great together. Thanks ladies for everything you do. I honestly cannot express how much you've both helped me heal from my divorce these past few years.

Sending all the Aussie love, Tash, take it away. No. I'm going to have a meltdown. No. No. like the fact that you are defending him that you were saying that he has been honest with you that he hasn't lied he's literally completely lied

he said that he had not been with anyone since what like the end of 2024 I saw even like a white line he's there's a growing child of his in someone else's body that he put in there Please, I'm actually begging you. Begging, I'm begging, I actually have a condition.

Please do not fall for this shit, okay? I'm looking at you right now. I hope that if you're listening to this, you go onto YouTube and actually look at me. Because I'm looking at you, you are not to continue the relationship with this man. He has started off by completely lying to you. And I can assure you there probably has been an... overlap. There is another woman pregnant. This is messy. And this is the sort of thing that when we say to people, you need to take some accountability for what you are actually inviting into

your life. You want to protect your heart, then make sure you run. Even if that kitchen isn't completed, run. It's plenty of kitchen men out there. Honestly, please, for your own sanity and your children and the two years that you've been working on yourself, do not get into a relationship with this man. Can I just say as well, I think let's bring you back down to earth as well, okay? What's your life going to look like if you're going to be with someone who's about to become a father to another child? That woman is going to have him wrapped around her finger. You're not going to be a priority. He's going to be going back and forth to this newborn. They're probably going to want to try and make it work at some point when the baby's here because

that is a natural instinct to become a family unit. And I think things are about to get really real if you allow him into your life and you're going to get fucked over on her. I can't see this going anywhere positive. He's already lied. How do you know that they don't live together? How do you know that actually they're completely happily together?

No. No. If anything, do you know what I bloody do? I'll probably go and speak to her. Get the truth from her. Same. No. No. It's not happening.

Not happening. Not on our one. Yeah. Not. I will come to Australia. I will come to Australia. Book of my sight. I find you.

Please keep us updated. With the dolphins. Please still listen. I hope I haven't scared you off. I think you wrote it in because you need some hardcore advice. If you were going to stay with him, you would have just stayed with him and not bothered writing in. I also feel like, I don't think people, and I want to really like emphasize on this, because I know I speak for both of us.

Like, when we read these emails, when we give this advice, when I reply to every single DM I possibly can, of people asking for a relationship advice, I'm not doing. it because I feel like I have to. I'm doing it because I have such a passion to help people coming from someone that really, really understands it. I don't know why I feel the need to invest my free time into strangers. I feel like we see clearly because of the work we've done and what we've gone through it and there in that part where everything's really hazy and rose into. I know, but even someone that is a stranger lot, I just want to like take you and put you under my arm I just really hope that you make the right decision for you and your children

because you're better than that if you go into this with your roasted glasses on you're going to end up fucked and trust me it's going to be a lot easier getting over having seen someone for a few weeks now then it will be later on down the line when your feelings get more and there's more at stake and he's impacted your life in more ways just do it now

please keep us updated Okay, this is help with self-worth I feel like we all need this sometimes Okay, hi, I'm an avid follower of you guys And thought I'd email to get some help on my situation My ex-boyfriend broke up with me six months ago As he's leaving the country for work And believe that long distance will not work

I begged for us to stay together Until he is about to leave But he still wanted to end it six months prior to him leaving As he said, it was just going to stress him out With the move And he had a lot of things to sort out before leaving And we'll not have time for me. Me, though, being truly

heartbroken, agreed, and we went our separate ways. I was still truly heartbroken after three months and he then blocked me on social media after three months of the breakup. The move happened and I was thinking about him quite a lot. If he had moved and if he was settled, I kept dreaming about

him. On one lonely night, I sought a few people, he knows on Instagram and I came across this girl who was on private before, but I had now gone public. I was flicking on her photos and then further down there he was on her page with her sitting on his lap all smiling two months after we broke up my heart sunk as i'd already had a gut feeling about her and it was now all

confirmed they even went away for her birthday and has attended numerous events on the time that he had left in london oh oh so he broke up with so she moot i don't know i'm so heartbroken right now first of all he lied to me about his excuse of letting me go saying he doesn't want to lead me on and it's better if if i find a relationship with someone still here yeah that's weird um it would be better if i find someone else less complicated than him as i deserve better this has made me feel so low about myself and all the healing i've done in the past six months has come crashing down just by one scroll on social media what can i do to bounce back can i just say like i feel like however much work someone has done that is such a setback so first can we like really appreciate

and accept how valid that is like i feel like like we say all the time i feel like these men don't bloody break up with someone unless they've got someone else and it isn't a reflection on you this isn't about her being better than you i feel like it's these men that they stray by getting their ego stroked or getting kicks from doing something and then they just it frustrates me that we end up it impacts us

it's not that you are not enough is that he is a twat and no it's true and that he couldn't be honest of you he was a bit of a wimp he thought he'd make up this excuse and put that like on you in a situation like

you deserve best, I hate when they do this and they try and like make it look like they're doing you a favour like you deserve better than this I can't give you all of me I'm moving away this this this and you're like Oh okay

I know it's fucking weird but honestly like take this as him showing who he is to you okay cool so I'm that replaceable actually I deserve to be with someone who A can actually have open and honest communication with me

and tell me the real reason if they're not feeling it not fucking sugarcoat it but I deserve someone who won't just replace me, who isn't looking for better, who is committed, who is trustworthy. And when you start listening all these things, like genuinely go and get our planner, it's going to help you, it's genuinely going to help with your self-worth. Also going to get Roxy Nefuss's book, Confidence, that's all about self-worth.

And there's some really useful activities in there that are going to help you realize your self-worth. But I think we really need to realise that when these negative experiences we have with men, and it leaves us lacking confidence and it's so valid like me and tash have both been there i think you know when someone does leave you or does choose to be with someone else that is a massive damage to not only our ego but our self-confidence i particularly think as women we start to scrutinize our appearance our bodies our personalities well if i was more like her if i had this if my nose was like this like maybe if i lost a bit of weight and it's really easy to especially when you've seeing another girl who is with to compare yourself to that and think what does she have

that I do but I think we really need to take that accountability to change our mindset and be like he does not deserve me. I deserve so much better than this man is capable of treating me and I think when we start to do that is when we start to move forwards and when we realise all the amazing qualities we have all the things we do bring to the table and actually he is the one who misses out on that. Can I just think? say like obviously maybe well similar ish situation i remember when i found out that my ex-boyfriend was with someone else and it it did flawed me albeit not for very long because of the work that i had done i think it was a shock to many people it was very soon yeah and it does make you

suddenly reflect and think like oh my god like if he moves on that quickly like did that mean that our relationship meant nothing to him did that mean that he didn't love me and i think we do sometimes need to look at more reflecting on the man and why he does that. Is it because they struggle to be on their own? Is it because they need that validation from someone else? Did they go away and do all this work and become a better version for this person? The answer is no. And I think it's really like taking a step back and like Carly said, realizing actually all they've done is shown that they're not worthy of you. And as well, like you need to be really stripped with yourself with the no contact now.

Like, don't go nosying. Like, yeah, it's annoying that have profiles. Yeah, but don't. Like, I feel like when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I could have so easily tried to like search certain things. But you're choosing to go looking for something that you, yeah, that you know if you find something. And if you stalk the internet hard enough,

you always find something, in my opinion. It's going to hurt you. So you need to take that like control of like, do you know what? I'm not even letting him. access my energy. He's done. Delete, block everything. Anyone associated with him because don't, the thing I worry is you're now going to keep going back to her profile, looking at new updates. You're not going to move on. The more you do that, the more that's

accessing your heart. Yeah. Block her. Delete. Move on. Be dumb. Yeah. Get the journal. Get the journal. Hello. I'm sure my story will probably be one of the worst you have heard. I'm 31 years old with two little boys I have been in my partner for 13 years having our normal struggles and problems but we always get through the normal relationship hurdles I've caught him in the past 12 years around three times on Snapchat

dating websites and spending money on porn but he always spoke me around and reassured me it was all just over a phone and all he craved was attention he swore to me he never had the guts in him to physically cheat on me and how he could never disrespect me in our family this way. You can only disrespect you a bit, not too much.

Just mediocrely. I stupidly genuinely believed it. He doted on me and that I was his soulmate. I have always had my wits about him, though, because of the previous things listed above, but I didn't think he had the nerve to physically cheat. And boy, was I wrong. On Christmas Day, my life fell apart.

He had been cheating on me for nine years. is. What the fuck? Wow. Wow. That's horrible. I can't imagine how that would feel like finding that out. Consistently.

With local women who knew we were together and sex workers. Women, transgender and men. I had absolutely. absolutely no idea of this and it has broken me beyond comprehension. I mean I'm not fucking surprised it's broken me. It's making for it on well. Yeah. Not only my partner has cheated

but he's been exploring all different sexual avenues right under me and my children's noses. He has also been sleeping with girls from the local area pretending to go to work and night shifts but sleeping in another woman's bed when I had his newborn son.

He also took his boss. He works night chefs and he's just wasn't at work. I think maybe he does shift work and said he had a night shift. Cool. He also took his boss to an intimate spa date

from work. Go to HR. If this isn't the worst part, he's gone to therapy and somehow came to the conclusion that he done this because it was my actions that partly led him to it

and he just wasn't truly happy with me. How dare you make him go and sleep with everyone? He loved me, but he wasn't happy for a very long time. I mean, nine years to be exact, you twat. What happened to good old communication, hey? Soverated, apparently. Apparently. He used to show me he loved me every single day and I had no doubts.

He didn't love me. I am left completely broken and lost. I hope I find the strength to overcome this for the sake of myself and my two little boys. I've just lost my dad recently also, so I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Thank you for listening. Any advice, welcome. I am so angry and frustrated at myself because I still to this day

put him on a pedestal and romanticise him in my brain why do I do this even after eight months thank you so much love I think first of all we need to stop with the whole anger for yourself

like this isn't you you didn't do this I hope you know that I think we are also guilty of putting our partner on a pedestal especially with the amount of time you've been with him it's very hard

to go from having this expectation of a person, this person that you've formed in your head for so long to suddenly think that just because of something that you found out, it means that they've fallen straight off the pedestal and they're on the floor. Like, you've built him up for so long. It's not a quick fix of now I know that he's a cheating scumbag. He can come off of that and this is the reality. It takes a very long time. The healing process, that process is to remove them off the pedestal. It's not a quick fix. And I think that you need to be kind to yourself and realise that what you have found out and the information that you've got is shocking. But that

shouldn't be a reflection on you being angry with yourself. You weren't to know. You trusted the person. You did the right thing by trusting the person that you had your kids with and married and you were with for so long. Like good for you that you opened your heart for that. Like don't allow or something like that also to stop you ever thinking that you can have that again. I think that now is the time to really unpack the relationship

and reflect on what was real and what wasn't and then maybe the clearer your mind the sooner you can start doing the healing process and realizing that maybe the person that you thought he was doesn't exist

and that process then becomes slightly easier, doesn't it? I agree. Is the healing that, allows you to step back and gain the perspective and really look at things through open eyes and see them for who they truly are. And I think that is the thing that allows you to detach from them. That is the thing that allows you to stop that romanticising. And like just give yourself credit. I know you said like still eight months on. Like there is no time to heal him. We've said

this time and time again. There's no time limit. And when you're with someone that long, like it can be really hard to almost like, I think that acceptance can sometimes take people a long time to get to and that's a really important part in your healing to get to is I think sometimes we are often in denial and we're looking for excuses or justifications and I think when we really have that acceptance that moment of being like these are the cards I'm being dealt with I need to take ownership of how I'm going to move forwards in this it's only then we can really start healing so maybe you writing this email into us is that acceptance it's happened to you it's an acceptance of where you are now and hopefully hearing this back you'll know

okay now it's time to focus on me i know none of what what happened was my fault it's him and he's chosen to do that and let him let him do those things let him show the world who he is let him go around sleeping with him her whoever like i don't need to be a part of that anymore but what i do want to be a part of and the only part i have control of is my life going forwards and What am I going to do with that? I'm not going to let this awful thing dictate the rest of my life. Absolutely not. I have a life to live.

I'm going to go and learn from this. I've got a lot of trauma. I've got a lot of healing I need to do. I'm going to take ownership and responsibility. And I'm going to make sure the rest of my life, you know, I'm going to be happy. And only you have the power to do that. Shocking.

My five-year relationship at a young age has ended and I need you girls to help me stay strong. Take it back five years. I was 14 years. years of age and I started a relationship with my now ex. I love that a 19 year old is right in it. Yeah. Everything seemed perfect as young love always does.

Fast forward two years and I was on holiday with my family. There was one girl always commenting on his social media and I became very suspicious. I had no idea who this girl was at all. Two weeks later I came home to find him messaging this girl, intimate messages. I immediately ended the relationship but a few weeks later I took him back due to missing what we had. everything seemed well again until another year later when the same thing happened again this time it was a different girl i ended my relationship with him and told him this was the final straw however being young i took him back as he promised that he would change

september twenty twenty four came around and i was starting university my best friends were deciding to go out and asked me to come due to this he broke up with me 24 hours later he was actively using dating websites and texting other girls once again as you can guess I took him back once again when he promised to change it's now a year down the line I found him texting another girl once again and I decided it was time to stand my ground and leave for good I'm 19 years of age and I know that I don't want to have to go through this for the rest of my life my ex is still trying to contact me leaving love notes on my car

sending me love messages and promises please can I have your advice girls on how to stay strong Right firstly we're going to block him on absolutely everything I know he obviously knows where you live because he's leaving love knows but we're blocking that means on

WhatsApp whatever you younger generation are messaging on Snapchat Snapchat Instagram TikTok everything we are blocking this man we're not responding to this man he's he's a boy he's a boy child he is going to continue to do these patterns

because he knows every time he can take him back. You need to cut the cycle, cut the cord now. I bet you are young, gorgeous, you've got your whole life ahead of you. We don't waste our life on fuck boys. We absolutely don't. But you need to be really strong. The no contact, I cannot tell you enough

for anyone listening who is trying to get through a breakup. And this only applies if you do not have kids with them. And let me tell you now, you're in a fortunate position if this is the case because you really can completely cut the contact. And it is that cut in the contact that is going to be pivotal in you moving forwards and that means not going back and even like we've spoken about it before but like listening to videos like hearing their

voice can trigger and emotioning you we don't do any of that we get rid we accept it was a chapter of our life we don't want to keep revisiting it I think that I can really resonate with your message I've got to be honest because I started dating my ex-husband when I was 16 and he wasn't a good boyfriend and we would make up break up make up break up and they would all be down to his behaviour and once we got to 19 I felt like he changed and he grew up and I think he did but I also feel like at the end of the day I ignored all the red flags and I'm not for a second saying that if you do the same you're going to end up having your own podcast and three kids single mum but I just feel like

Like, you are putting so much of your time and energy and your young years into someone that doesn't respect you. But unfortunately, you don't respect yourself and neither did I. And although I don't regret what I did because I then wouldn't have my children, I just gave him far too much of my childhood and my younger years. For someone that didn't really deserve it, like you are taking him back and you can obviously see the pattern it will be good for a bit and then he messes up again and at the end of the day only you can make the decision if you're happy to carry on finding all

of these things out because it hasn't changed the only change that you can make is changing by not taking him back if you take him back the same thing is going to happen so at the end of the day it's up to you you can either carry on in this vicious cycle of being with him for a bit things being a bit good and then he cheats on you or you can draw a lot of and start fresh and actually enjoy your younger years, have fun, be with your friends, go on dates, do whatever you want and be young and enjoy it without being consumed by someone that has absolutely no respect for you. Okay, guys, product of the week. So, this is the Rose and Caramel, Purity XL tam remover. Okay, so I've got it on Amazon. If you are

like us and you tan really regularly, it's all natural, baby. Yeah, okay. Yeah, wherever have you been? Moroaco. What is really good about this is if you've got that sort of like layer of tan still and it's not looking very good and you want to tan again because I tan weekly, you literally rub this on you. Like when you're dry, like out of the shower, rub it all over yourself. I leave it on for about 10 minutes, careful because it's quite runny.

Okay. Is it like an oilie? No, I normally just put coconut up. Oh, okay. It sounds quite nice. I need this. So you rub it all over. yourself it almost looks a bit like a mud bathy do you know what i mean yeah rub it all over yourself

i leave it on for a good 10 to 15 minutes and you go in the shower with an exfoliant like mint yeah i use the gloves and it all comes off okay you link me yeah so it's really really good i currently just use like um a coconut oil but it doesn't get it all off i must say it is maybe slightly like pricier than you're just like exfoliant and a mitt but i don't love that because it but this is specifically for removing tan so we'll link it on our page it is really good I recommend let's finish with an affirmation of the week I feel like we're needing something about self-worth guys because I just I really want you to if we put the amount of love and effort into ourselves as we did the partner that we've got we're

we would not be accepting half the shit that we are putting up with. And I think it's really time to start pouring into ourselves and giving us the love and affection that we crave so much from other people. Absolutely. We'll be happier. Anyone going through a breakup right now, that love you put into them, put that into yourself now. That's saying I did this year and I will forever be grateful. I did it. Amen. Thank you so much, guys. Love you, bye.