Not As We Planned - My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something more?We unpack the story, share our honest advice, and discuss whether trust your instincts or give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Plus, we help a listener improve their dating profile, chat about modern dating, and answer more of your relationship dilemmas and listener stories.If you’ve ever questioned your relationship, doubted your instincts, or wondered if you’re seeing red flags that everyone else is missing, this episode is for you.Watch the podcast on YouTubeGet a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon:Join Our CommunityInstagramTikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi. You're listening to Not as we planned. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel the high-am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Welcome back to another episode of night as we planned.

Planned. Plan. Plan. I'm going for something a bit different. No, no. Not as we planned. We hope you are well and having a stunning week. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I feel like I've like, look, I know everything's temporary but I feel like I've come into this really nice headspace the last week.

And I think it's because I had Father's Day always in my head as like this big thing that was coming. And the day itself was actually really, really fucking awful. not even going to like lie to you. I really, really struggled with it. I was in a really bad place. I was just, yeah, cried a lot, which I think is expected. And then like I went to see my niece in a dance show and I just felt like I was surrounded by families. Like my boys were with their dad. I don't know. I just came back and I went back to my mum's for a little bit and then I was like, I just think I just need to be on my own. I went home. But I feel like, I don't know if in my head like subconsciously I've always known that was coming and I've like had this like thing like

being built up and like I've you know when you like expect like that feeling of like doom and stuff and then I feel like now that's gone I feel like it's like a big sigh of relief and look like the thing with grief is like it comes and it springs out of nowhere and I know it's like for every good day I'll have a bad day or whatever it is but I feel like since then my head space has been a lot clearer, I feel like a little bit of fog is maybe lifted. And it's been like certain things happening like, you know, with the podcast, with my house, like, don't get too excited. It's not being sold. But like, just some smaller things that are happening that are more positive where I'm like, do you know what? I've got a feeling that life's about to get really, really good.

And I think when you get yourself in that headspace, you're more likely to attract those things into your life. And it was, it's just like, I don't know, sometimes revisiting. taking more control of your headspace. And also, like, saying I really am like one of those people. Like, I really love being around people who have a really positive, excitable energy about them. Like people who, I know it's why I need to go somewhere else after this. But like, people who, like, I don't know,

like make you feel like creative or like excited about stuff. And I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, like, I've, I've just feel like in a really positive headspace where I feel like that excitement for life again, which is a really nice feeling. And look, that doesn't come without the guilt of feeling like, oh, someone's not here to see those things happening. But also then, on the other hand, being like, this is even more reason to make him proud. So, yeah, I'm, I feel like I'm just feeling a bit more like me, I guess.

I love that. Also, maybe, again, I think it's quite nice. that like we're in the second half of the year now. I think some of it's that as well. And I think sometimes subconsciously or like new month, like sort of like, do you know what? Like you said, you probably had that that weight lifted now slightly

that a day that you were dreading has been and gone. It was hard. You got through it. And you're probably like so low that it's like the only way's up now. So now you're sort of like on that rise a bit and that's nice.

And it's halfway through the year. So in my head I'm like, shit first half. Yeah. redo, second half, going to be epic. Yeah, let's manifest that. I'm weird like that, like compartmentalising. Let's manifest that.

I mean, to be honest, yeah, like the beginning of my year was pretty shitty as well, went through a breakup. So let's bring on a positive second start to 2020. Can I get a hell yeah? Hell yeah. Can I get a hill yeah? Hell yeah. Can I get a hill yeah.

Hell yeah. All right, I hope you said that along when you're listening, guys. Just crack on, guys. Let's see if we can find some positive. Okay, we thought we'd start off with a dating profile. So we've had someone send in both their hinge and Bumble profile. Okay? Oh, okay.

So here are my profiles. I find Hinge really difficult to fill out compared to Bumble. I don't know why, but I do. Help. Love you girls and can't wait for the tour. See you in Manchester. Wooop, whoop. So, guys, there's your note if you haven't booked.

What are you doing? Sort of you like her. Get booking. Okay, we're doing her hinge first. So we've got first photo. I feel like it's really striking. You're wearing a nice bright colour. It's quite close up with your red lipstick on.

I think it's nice. I like it. Okay. First prompt. My simple pleasures. Sunset walks running, spending time with family, my two boys and Prosecco. Oh and Neo.

I love being outside, especially near water. What are yours? Can I be honest? I'm bored. You? The first bit, the thing is, I quite like that you like, mentioned like a neo, like the fact that you like like music or something, but like the first

bit, like every other girl has probably written that. Sunset walks, don't get me wrong. I fucking love sunset walks. Running, not so much. Spending time with my family. Cool, who doesn't. You're not giving us anything different. You are not standing out in a crowd. So we need to scrap that. I hate the My Simple Pleasures prompt. Yeah, I don't know that. It's giving, you're not going to write anything that no one else finds a simple pleasure. Like who doesn't like a Sunday roast and a barbecue and a walk along the beach and like, you know, your dressing gown and Harry Potter. So we need to change that.

What are we thinking? Because I feel like I need to give different, we need to go on a hinge profile and see what the prompts are. Okay, so let's maybe try and find a few prompts that we could be good. So I actually think if anyone's got a funny fear, I do. I think like my most irrational fear, I feel like yours is it flannels? I know. I feel like that could be quite a funny, like, starter.

Icebreaker. Yeah, icebreaker. Even if, like, the most irrational fear is, like, spiders. You could even just put something funny and be, like, spiders, like, so you need to be the one to kill them. Or just something, like, let's bring. Can we ethically get rid of spiders, please. Don't kill them. Okay, sorry, like, get Charlotte's Web and move it.

Glass, paper. What else? Even, like, this year I really want to, but don't be, like, like, you. travel more. Yeah, no, okay, maybe not that one. Don't do that. No, there's better ones. So I like the, even like a random fact I love is could be good. Girard saliva is actually antibacterial.

Yes, Blake told me that, how weird. I've kissed a giraffe. Cute. I bet he was probably a better. Yeah, better than most men I've kissed, be honest. Look, like big tongue. Like, hmm. Sorry, not very thick.

Not brozen bestiality. Really thick as well. But anti-back? Like literally my goal. Like my goal. I'd love to be able to kiss someone that's just constantly anti-back. Maybe I was a giraffe in my past life, but I'm so short. I feel like I'm dating a giraffe.

Okay. I've always said that I like the two truths and a lie because I feel like it just drums up a different conversation every time. You don't know whether someone's going to like guess the one. Some people don't do them well though and they're really like boring. You've got to do them well. I do boring ones. No one please ever put biggest risks I've taken is downloading this app.

Yeah. Let's try and think differently. The worst idea I've ever had. If you've done something funny, like put it in. But if it's not that funny, show your personality. Self-care, I think, is cringe, sorry. Date vise I don't like. Let's chat about. Let's debate this topic could be a good one.

I think that's when I did the toast and Nutella with butter. Like if you haven't tried it, like don't knock it until you tried it. Think of something controversial. Are there foods that you eat together that is just so weird that, do you know what I mean? We want to strike up. For me, Hinge is to show you have some personality and you want the conversation to be different to a high U.K.EAU has you day. How is your week? Yeah.

That is what the goal is. Let's avoid the boring combos. I've used an award my family would give me before. I have you sit there, is that I'm like the most competitive person in the world and that has started quite a lot of conversations. I quite like that. Again, it's giving your personality with a bit of...

Yeah. So people are like, right, what can I bet I'll beat you at this? So it's an easy conversation. Even something sometimes like this, like I'm weirdly attracted to. Mollett. If you've got something funny, like quirky or... Mullets.

That girl, not me. Yeah. Weirdly attracted to men who are emotionally available. Even the dorkiest thing about me is, like, if you've got something that's like... Are you to be in a marching band? Yeah, like that's funny. I don't have anything dorky because I'm really cool. That's a fucking bullshit.

But don't hate me if I, I don't know, fancy your brother. No, joking. That's your dad. That's your dad. Okay, so hold on. Let's carry on and see what other ones are. So we're changing that first one. Hopefully we've given you enough ideas.

Next photo, I think, is cute. Like, your shirt, you're smiling. Yeah, cute. The next one again. I think at the most of the most of the most, moment for me your photos are good. Teach me something about cooking. I try very hard laughing emoji but it really is not my forte. My kids would thank you forever if I expanded my repertoire. I like that. I think it's showing your personality. You're getting in there about your kids.

I think it's showing a bit of personality. Again, I like the next photo. It's another close selfie. I feel like what's good about your photos, you consistently look the same. Sometimes I feel like you can have some photos and it's a bit like, are they new? Are they old? Which one are you more like now? My most irrational fear, death by falling slate. It's death by a falling slate in high wind. Oh, by a falling slate in high wind. Yeah, we actually told you to do an irrational fear if you had one. So I like that. Oh, now you're making me scared. Now you've got a photo of you with your kids and you're covering their faces. Right, that you cover their faces. Same. I wouldn't want you to not cover their faces. You've got one with one friend. It's obvious who you are because you look the same

in all your photos. And then, hold on. Okay. That's Bumble. That's Bumble. I really like that profile. I honestly, all I would change is that first prompt. And make it, the fact that it's the first one. Yeah. The fact that it's the first one is maybe just where you're going wrong slightly. Because I, I am, if I go on someone's profile when I click on it and the first thing isn't like, oh, I need to speak to this person. I change X. Yeah, I agree. Okay, Bumble. So in my bio, hi, I'm X, a small but feisty, kind and caring, Prosecco and Neo lover. I enjoy being outdoors, running and walking, and I love nothing more than a great sunset. Disclaimer, I'm a terrible cook.

I love that. I love that bio. Now I understand why you're saying that you found it easier to do your Bumble than your hinge. I love the bio. What's interesting is I would have found it harder to write a bio than using prompts to get my personality across. I like my bio. Yeah, that's really good. Shorter than you.

Yeah, she is shorter than me. So that's why I like that you put like a small but feisty, kind and caring. Love that. Looking for a long-term relationship. Yeah. Again, by the looks of it, you've got similar photos. She's done two truths and a lie. I only weighed two pound when I was born.

I represented the country in gymnastics. I get hangary often. I think that's, I think they're okay. I'd maybe change the only way two pounds when I was born. It's giving, like it doesn't really matter. Maybe write, do something like I'm writing a book, although that might be a truth, but I'm writing a book.

I ran the marathon three times. Just something, all like I jumped out of an aeroplane, just something like that. Favorite quality in a person is honesty. Yeah, I'm sometimes too honest for my own good. generally speaking I actually think your profile's really good I think all the photos are good just a few little tweaks

but you're a catch let's know how it goes yeah let us know how it goes and guys keep sending in your profiles because I like them they're fun they're fun to evaluate okay this one's interesting it's from a guy and we kind of want your opinion on it

because we've briefly read over it because like within the first few sentences it's just a little bit different Hi, first off, I'm a guy, but a really big fan of your show. I am very kinky and submissive. I really like the discussion on your show around kinks and weird bedroom stuff. Oh, submissive men is interesting to me. I'm interested, I'd be interested to know women who find that attractive.

Because mine's quite the opposite. It's good to hear that it's not automatically judged and generally, supported where it's consensual. I do have a bit of a feminine side, so enjoy the discussion. But I do think there's an opportunity to better understand the meaning behind certain kinks and why guys are into them. Also, some of your listeners might want to ask some direct questions to a kinkster. Is that a thing?

Is that a name? Or sub. So they can better understand why their partner might be requesting certain things. I don't he means that pegging? Yeah, or like maybe he's one of those guys that likes to be kicked in the face and the nuts. Or be called sissy. Be called shabby little bitch. It's good.

I'd probably enjoy it for one now. I'll get my anger out. You end up with a pathetic little man. You end up having a tiny penis. Look at you, you're embarrassing. Would I be good? Did that turn you on? No, the thing is, I actually think you don't, I'm not having sex.

You just annihilate this person. He'd cry and, you. But he would get off on that. It sounds like fun. I would be quite good at that. You're fucking pathetic. You're embarrassing. The size of that.

Look at the, what are you going to do with that? Let me know if that worked for you because you're welcome. Do you remember when we had that guy who was messaging us and wanted us to. Oh yeah, to humiliate him. To humiliate him. Yeah. He wanted to pay us like 20 pounds of video. Yeah, I actually did message him back to ask him how much.

To ask how much. But when I tried to get that as our next business deal, I was like, I don't think we should be. I think he said something like, $20 an hour. I was like, no, thanks, goodbye. Oh, it's $20,000 a video. No, no, I'm worth more than that, sorry. You're not kidding having a video of me being like, you're a pathetic.

You're a pathetic little man with a tiny dodger. Ugh. Oh, why did I say that word? Right, right. If it would add anything to your show, I'd be happy to help answer questions, anonymously or help provide some context on my own experiences to help everyone better understand. Having non-vanilla or kinks desires is often something people can really struggle with and it's really good to create an open and non-judgmental discussion around this.

I have been through it all. Confusion, shame and finding acceptance. Power to the people. I'm pretty experienced and open-minded so happy to talk about anything. Keep up the good work and let me know your thoughts. We would love to hear from you. Do you know what I think we should do? Yeah, do you know what I think we should do?

I wonder whether we should be emailing him back. I wonder whether we should be putting a question box on our stories and maybe we'll do a little exclusive patron episode of asking him. I mean, I've got plenty of questions, to be honest. Guys, let us know. Like, are you interested? Like, I think we will. We'll put a question box and it's questions directed to.

A man. To a kingster. Yeah, sorry, kingster man. And sub. I mean, I've got enough questions to be honest to fill an episode. Tune in. So where do you think this stems from from your childhood? It's going to be a therapy sentence.

I will. And how does that make you feel? Do you know, it would be quite cool. You know, sometimes you see those like documentaries where someone comes on it and they just look like a shadow and their voices change. Can you imagine? I go right. I was a sob and she kicked me in the face.

Our next guest, he'll be on it and we'll just like put a mask. Yeah, we've got one from our promo. And then we'll change. Or you can wear my wig and my massage. You can wear the helmet. Guys, if you're interested, join Patreon because he's going to be on it next week. Not next week. Okay, do we?

So we don't have his answers yet. Okay, I'm excited. Thanks, babe. Thanks for your email, mate. This is really short. But I'm just intrigued because it says help girls, weird situation. Hey girls, I've never been in a situation like this before and cannot stop thinking about it every day. Starting off, I was on a one night out in my local town where I live is very small and everyone knows each other.

So when I walked into a pub this night with my friend, I noticed some new faces. Oh. A group of guys that are working offshore where I live. The more I drank, the more I picked up the courage to talk to one of the men that caught my arm. He was a dream. Tall, dark, tattoos. If I was to describe my type, it would be him. Me, my friend and him had such a laugh and we actually all ended up at the place he was staying. A little Airbnb where I live. That night he put my Snapchat on my phone. Then when me and my friends left, he texted me to make sure that we got home okay. We've been talking for a good few weeks. Then he mentioned that he was coming to my work again, so I went to see him on my own. and stayed at the Airbnb and we slept together. This is not something that I would usually do. That night he was so lovely.

And so he turned around and said, before you catch feelings, I have something to tell you. I have a girlfriend and a baby back home. I mean, shock horror. My heart. I've sent me first. My heart dropped.

He said it's a difficult situation. She fell pregnant after them not talking for a long time. Not talking about you. Yeah, how do that work? Don't talk to me. Take me like a bit. Shut up. Shut up.

And he never knew what to do apart from stay with her. He mentioned he really liked me and I'm something he wants but this leaves me in such a difficult situation. All I want to do is text her and apologise as I was not aware but at the same time I can't stop thinking about him every single day. Especially when I know he's a five minute drive away. What do I? do.

You're romanticising this man because he is actually a cheating dickhead. You don't know him. What makes him so amazing what he's got tattoos and he's tall and handsome? I mean, no, no, no, no. There are plenty. We are not going to be the other woman. Would you let her know or just like draw a line and be done?

I don't think, I don't think there's... I don't like getting involved in the bullshit. The thing is, like... You can take your part out of it and not get involved with him. He's not your person. you're romanticising him, you're putting him on a pedestal, he doesn't need to be able

just because he's a few inches taller than most men, and he's probably got some sexy tattoos. Like, no, the fact, A, he didn't actually tell you this before you said with him is disgusting. Holden, let me fuck you and then let you know that I've got a girlfriend and a baby. Cool.

Before you fall for me. Yeah. Sorry, arrogant. Ugh, before you fall for me. Ugh. No. You're not that good, mate. No, no, no, no.

The fact that you're even questioning. in what you're doing is concerning. So take note. Okay, take note. Number one, block him. Number two, don't unblock him. And number three, don't fuck him. Yeah.

Again. And enough. Enough. And then don't come crying to us in two months' time. When you're all pregnant too. No, I'm joking. No, please. No, don't do it.

Don't do it. If you're not going to take our advice, keep us updated. Keep us updated. Excel, Excel. Where to go next? Hi, both. Please make this anonymous if you do use it.

I met my husband over 25 years ago when I was 17 and he was 10 years older. We've had four children together and things have always been okay. But there have been things that make our relationship difficult. He watches a lot of porn, which affects our sex life. I picked him up from a night out once and he was drunk and snogging one of his younger colleagues. and he met up with an old girlfriend on Facebook and then wanted to leave. He's always denied any wrongdoing and we did get back together but the last incident just destroyed what little confidence I had left.

He's recently started a new job and has been acting differently, being concerned about how he looks, more sex, eager to get to work, etc. I looked on his phone, which is awful, and saw he's been repeatedly searching a certain woman who is his area, manager, 25 and beautiful. I spoke to him about this and he told me I was just paranoid. Since then, sex is non-existent and he's struggling to keep it up when we do do it, which I know could be a him thing, but in my mind it's me. I'm not as slim as I was, I'm now in my 40s and our sex has been minimal and just repetitive. I sound like a moron, but I feel like he doesn't touch

me because of my lumps and bumps and bumps and I'm just getting him off whilst he thinks of his boss or other women. I know he watches porn at least five days a week and cried... She was going to say five times a time. I mean, I know he watches porn at least five days a week and cried the other night when he chose me over porn and I felt really grateful. I realised how sad that is. I'm trying to build up my own confidence again so I don't feel like my mood and confidence relies on his attention. I just feel lost in this relationship is all I've known since I was 17. Can I say the reason why you're feeling this way isn't because of the lack of sex or the fact that he sometimes isn't hard. It's because he has made it very clear that

he has cheated on you. Like, I don't know why it was so, said in such a blaze way that he was, what did he do with a work colleague? He's kissing a work colleague. Like, what? Why are we accepting this sort of behaviour from our partners? I don't understand why it's almost like, and then he denied any wrongdoing. So he doesn't think it's wrong to kiss someone else or search for other women online that he works with. No, no, no. Guys, come on, okay?

I know it is, I'm not saying it is easy to walk away from relationships, especially when you've been in them for so long and it's all you know. But, oh my God, like I hate hearing what we are accepting. Scraps. from, like, not even bare minimum. Yeah. You can just do so much,

but the way he's making you feel like, you should be with someone who makes you feel like the most unbelievable person in the world who literally like bigs you up, like can't wait to get their hands on you. Like, it makes me feel really sad to feel like you cried because you felt chosen over sex. Like one time he decided to sleep with you.

That should just be like a given in a relationship. I think. And she's like almost. putting herself down that she's almost like justifying it must be because of my lumps and bunts and I'm not the way I used to look and babe 40 is the new fucking 30 why don't you start pouring into yourself give yourself the love that you were so desperately seeking from him glow the fuck up and bin this man like no let him go and message yeah go and let him message whoever he wants that were Sally from accounts yeah no like we need

need to level up guys and stop believing that these men are what we need and without them that we can't go on and can't survive because actually when you strip it back, you'll realise that all they are bringing you is fucking anxiety. And maybe a couple of SDGs. Get rid. Keep us updated. Breakup advice urgently needed. We're on.

Hi, girls. I recently found your pod after my breakup and I want to write in and ask for some help. Me and my partner of six years broke up four weeks ago because I found messages on his phone between him and a girl from work. Another one. For some backstory, we have a 14-month-old daughter who is my absolute world. The past year has been rocky. We would argue a lot.

And with his long working hours, I was doing most of the looking after our daughter, housework, etc. And did feel he wasn't really pulling his weight. Back in March, he separated from me for just over a week because he felt he needed space. Oh, darling. Yeah. After the week, I asked him to come back home, which he did. From then on, I put every single ounce of my soul into making our relationship work. I changed everything about myself that he didn't like or what was causing problems. I'd love to know what those are. Why are you making all the changes? For the next four months, we still weren't good. He told me that he wasn't attracted to me anymore and also loved me like a family member.

I asked him multiple times if he was cheating or if he had met someone else because I couldn't understand why we weren't working every time he would look me in the eye and say no fast forward to four weeks ago we had a deep chat one night which ended in sex that night I couldn't sleep I had a feeling that I needed to check his phone

I didn't in the end because if I didn't find anything and he knew I'd been on it I knew that that would become a massive problem but the next morning our daughter was playing with his phone and took it into the bathroom. I went in and locked the door. And there I found messages on WhatsApp from a girl at work.

My heart broke into two. 30 minutes after we had had sex the night before, he told her that he loved her. So now I'm four weeks post-breakup. I'm still finding it incredibly hard. I cry every day. I miss him so much. Navigating co-parenting and still having to see and talk to him

is so incredibly hard. any advice you could give me, I would deeply appreciate it. Thank you. Please keep me anonymous, but here is a picture of me and my beautiful baby girl. Oh my gosh, she's so cute. Cute. It is so valid that you are currently absolutely heartbroken. First of all, it's been four weeks.

I'd be concerned if you were. Yeah, let's just bear in mind how unbelievably war that is. You are in the thick of it right now. You haven't even really been able to like process what is going on. Everything that you thought you had has been stripped away from you, all those future plans, all the goals that you had, you know, the holidays, everything. I understand that. I think we can both speak from experience, like when that goes, it's grief like you've never had before. And then having to co-parent and communicate with that person

while you're trying to heal from them is, again, a pain that I really wouldn't wish on anyone. One thing that I did at the beginning that I think if you can do this, it does help to a certain extent. definitely lowering those expectations of trying to have some sort of healthy or good co-parenting relationship. Park that for now and you want to have as little communication with him as possible if you can get any family members

to be present for the handover or anything like that. That's what I did and I think it helped because I felt like even when I was gaining even one little ounce of strength, the minute I saw him or spoke to him I literally went back to square one and it was so difficult. It's like how are you ever meant to move forward

from that place if every time you see them you're taking like 10 steps back so it's trying to see if you've got friends or family that can help you and I know that this is the harsh reality is like you've just got to sit in it that unfortunately there isn't like this magic wand that I can wave and give you this like you know secret to how everything's going to feel better in a few weeks it's going to be shit but what I will tell you is one day I promise you you will look back and realize that it is not worth being in a relationship with a man that makes you feel that on edge that you need to check his phone because you think that he is having an affair or he's doing something that he shouldn't be doing. We should feel loved by our partner. Like you said that

you try to do everything. You put every ounce into making changes and doing everything you could for the relationship. But by the sounds of it, he didn't do the same. So now I want you to take all that ounce and strength and put it into you and your daughter. and pour that love into yourself, into her, and you're unfortunately just going to have to ride that way. But I hope that you can just see that we are living proof that it is possible to get over it. And not only get over it, but get through it and be better from it.

We aren't special. We haven't done something that no one else is able to do. We're just proof that, you know, it's shit, but it gets better. you've just got to unfortunately be patient and sit in the pain and surround yourself with people that can help you and pull you through and support you. Yeah, I agree. I think we so often try and escape the pain part of it, but it's so important that

like the only way through it, like the only way to get to the other side is to go straight through it, like to feel everything. And like you'll look back. Like I was having a conversation with someone the other day and I was just saying like, I'm genuinely so grateful for the things they've gone through because you won't realize this now, but it will be this that prompts you to work on yourself so much that you grow in a way that would never have been possible

without something happening. And sadly in life, we do need to go through significant things in order to learn from them, in order to be a better person, in order to do better. And it's just part of life. Like, that is what life is all about.

It's about different experiences. Some of them will be positive. Some of them will be negative. And, like, just try and remember, like there's nothing that you can't get through. Like I always tell myself this. Like can I try and remind myself on this one like harder days, whether something's happening in my co-parenting relationships

or, you know, still going through a divorce. And in my head I'm always like, you've got through every other hard thing that has happened. There's no way that you're suddenly not going to be able to get through this. So just remember that. You're stronger than you realize. I know you're probably sick of people probably saying that to you, but it is true.

And I must say, like, sometimes the biggest heartbreak actually ends up being the making of you. And you may not see it now, but it ends up being a good thing in the end and trust the process. Because this, in theory, can be like the beginning of something amazing eventually. Do you know what our product of the week is actually going to be? I know we've done it before, but I feel like with some of the emails that we've read today, I think it's relevant. This is going to be our product of the week. This is the ultimate healing journal. If you are not aware,

Carly and I wrote this and it is pretty much a step-by-step guide to moving on from someone, from, you know, going through a breakup, going through that really horrible, pretty much where this woman is now. And so the first like 20 pages are pretty much exercises to help you

sort of let go of that person and really like do the, work and healing and then there's also a section of pretty much 365 days of journaling, prompts, what to write in the morning, how your week is going, how your day is going. It's, I guess when we both went through our divorces and then our breakups, we just felt like this was a way to... I haven't gone through my second breakup. No.

But it helped me through it. Yeah. I used it. Funny enough, we both used it at different stages. So we started writing it before either of us went through a breakup. We'd just both been through our divorces. And then we started writing it when I was going through my breakup. And then she used it for her breakup.

And then I started using it. It works, guys. Look at me. I'm the most healed version ever. Do you know what? I'm a product of the product. We're actually really proud of it. And I don't think that we really like shout about it enough.

Yeah, I agree. Like it's something that it's self-published. It's on our website. It's on not as we planned. Dot shop. Go and check it out. It can be really helpful. And also a good way of helping you journal

if you're sort of like new to it and you don't really know how to journal. So here we go. Product of the Week. Confession of the week. This is a mum confession by bye fish. Oh, God. So my confession is two years ago

when my daughter was around five, we went and got her a fish tank and four fish from pets at home. Fast forward to now, age seven, she doesn't acknowledge the fish tank or the fish. We lost the fish and I called her whilst at her dads to break the news and her response was, flush it down the toilet. To my absolute shock, she's very empathetic and wears her heart on her sleeve, so this took me back. Following on from this, we cleaned the tank out together because I was sick of it just being my job along with a thousand others.

Upon transferring the fish, one of them had a funny spasm and basically, when we put it back in the tank, it looked like its back was broken and was just lying at the bottom. Anyway, this poor fish lasted about a month, laid on the surface, opening and closing its mouth to eat and just blinking. And then I was cleaning the tank alone again and thought, instead of using the net and potentially causing injury, I would just pour the water straight down the toilet. And yes, the last two fish in the fucking toilet.

I tried everything to get them out, but I could not. Well, laugh, no money as they would just swim to a point I couldn't see. or get them. And I was doing this for around 40 minutes. Oh my God. You imagine just trying to fish these toilet. I called my daughter as she was with her dad and I said, the fish had been really poorly.

She said, are they gone to heaven? I said, yeah. She said, okay, I don't mind. And this was to test the waters. I put the phone down, flush the toilet and got through all the fish related items. I had been cleaning away. Never told anyone. I'm writing it down is giving me mixed feelings.

I like that. Well, do you know what? Like, they've gone to a place. Fish, you know, the sea? Like with Nemo. Yeah. Don't worry. Like flushed away.

Yeah, I'm not judging you. Affirmation of the week. People look so different once you stop caring about them. You start realising it was your love that made them seem so special in the first place. Your feelings elevated them. Your heart romanticised them. And once that wears off, they become a lot more ordinary. Word.

Sorry, that's giving me goosebumps. Really relate to that. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening. See you. We hope you have a lovely week. Stay yet next week. Love you, bye.