Not As We Planned - Poor Excuse of a Man | Not As We Planned Podcast

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

We’ve had some shocking updates from our listeners. In one case, an affair turned out not to be just one, but two. Another story involved a man desperately trying to hide his whereabouts during a FaceTime call. One mum was excited for her family holiday, only to discover her partner had already been frolicking in the sea with another woman. Another man had an affair with someone 13 years younger and, as if that wasn’t enough, she later found out he had been visiting prostitutes… more than 40 in just six months. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys. Hi. You're listening to Not As We planned. So get ready for honest, raw, unfiltered, unhinged story where we share our advice, opinion and talk about all the shit that people avoid discussing. We want to point out we are not qualified professionals, although I feel the high am one. And what we say is the advice we would give to our besties. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Not As We planned. We hope you are well and good and enjoying your Thursday if you were listening to it on a Thursday. You're all right. I'm good. How are you? Surviving. We're surviving. Lives to tell another day. Yeah. What about you? I'm okay. I was

I was in two minds as to whether to talk about this. I haven't really spoken about it online. And I don't know. I think this will make more sense when I get into it. But I think with things like this, it's really difficult, a guest to find the space to talk about. these things but I think what I've realized as I'm going through it is it something like more people

than we realize are navigating. I have shared very, very briefly that my dad's not well. He has got pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed with it actually like two weeks before my marriage ended. And we've had a lot longer than we ever anticipated having, they caught it really early. He had chemo and it's brought us a lot more time. But before Christmas we did get kind of like an update with the diagnosis and, you know, it's not great and he has moved to, he's in palliative care now. And I think he's saying I wasn't going to speak about. I don't know why. Obviously it's immensely personal. But I think by speaking about it, it will also make other people who are going through it, like realize they're not on their own. It's a really hard process

when someone you love is coming to the end of their life. And the grieving process, starts before they're gone. So you're already beginning to grieve that person. You know, I feel like we're really making sure, you know, you're having all those conversations you want to have with that person. You want to tell them everything that you might want to, you know, I just think you want to be in a place where when they leave, there's no regrets of I wish you'd known this.

I wish had said this. And I think, like for me, I have found it really difficult over the last few weeks since all this has kind of happened. And like, I think sometimes why I find it so hard is like naturally I'm a very positive person. But when someone you love and your dad is, is essentially like dying in front of you, it's incredibly difficult. And I also think like one thing like I've noticed as a single parent navigating this is I feel like, you know, other members of my family have husbands and partners to kind of lean on. And I, as much I've got good friends to lean on, I don't feel like I've got that solid person at home where when something feels really heavy or, you know, he's been through something that day that I've got that outlet.

Instead, I feel like I've got the opposite is like no matter how I'm feeling, I've still got to show up for my kids. And, you know, it's not a conversation. I've happened with my kids. I don't feel like it's appropriate right now. I feel like, they know he's not well, but I don't think they've kind of like put the two together that he's not well equals like he's not going to be here soon. instead I've just really placed an emphasis on like family's so important we spend so much time with family because every time I've got the boys at the weekend me obviously always go and make sure we're spending proper time there yeah just I don't know I don't really know what the purpose of sharing is just

anyone who is going through it and like navigating that light I really just want you to know like you're not alone like my inbox is always open it's something that I am really struggling with at the moment and As morbid as it sounds, like I kind of feel like I'm, me and my family are literally like sat like waiting, which is a really difficult feeling because when someone you love is in so much pain, you just want that pain to be taken away from them. But at the same time, you know, that involves losing the person you love. And it's a really conflicting headspace to be in. And it's almost like that, that like impending.

feeling that, like, you know it's coming. It's something that's unavoidable. You don't know when it's going to be. And also knowing that, I think as well, I've got this feeling of like knowing that I'm going to be grieving, but also, again, like having to show up for my kids as a single parent. And it's just that overwhelm of how am I going to get through another phase of life that's a bit difficult. But I know I will. And I know it's inevitable. And I know it's inevitable. and I know it's going to give me more strength, but it's also absolutely fucking shit. And yeah,

just for anyone else who has a family member or someone close to them who's living with an incurable illness, it's one of the cruelest things I think I've ever experienced in my life. So like a lot of my time at the moment is just making sure spending it with family, really appreciating your family as well, letting them know, like,

do know, we've been going over like a lot of our old photo albums and looking at really nice memories. Like my dad was the most incredible dad growing up. Like he was the only dad who was at every cross-country race, every single netball match telling me to dig my elbows in people. Like I, he used to go orientering, me and my best friend at weekends because that's what I was into. And like he'd be the only dad there, like running along with us.

Orienteering. You have like a compass. I got to find different points on the map. Like he is a truly incredible dad and like, I don't know. It's just been quite nice in a way to, like look back and reflect on things. Like I had the most amazing childhood and I'm so grateful for things.

But God, it's, yes, it's, it's really difficult. And it's really difficult. And if anyone has navigated, like, those conversations of grief with children, I think this is one thing like I'm really aware of is like, particularly my eldest is so sensitive and like so emotionally aware, maybe like past his year is that I'm already trying to think like, how am I going to navigate those conversations?

If anyone's got any book recommendation, anything like that, we do the invisible string, but I think I need something more, I don't know, surrounded. Focused on death. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure there will be. Yeah.

So I'm a bit anxious as to everything coming, but just a shout out to anyone who's kind of like going through anything similar. Like, you're not on your own. No, I think that would be really helpful for people that are experiencing that or have been through that and feel like they don't have anyone else that, you know. Yeah. Yeah, because I think it's like with anything, whatever we speak about, when you can have people around you that support you,

but there is something very different about people actually having lived through it and experienced it. So I think that's really brave of you to share and hopefully it will help some people. Okay, so we've got an update. This is one called Girls I Need Your Help. So, hi ladies. I wrote in a few months ago with the serial cheating boyfriend and his affair from work. I mean, it's quite generic. sadly. I'm so glad I wrote in. I listen back to the episode regularly and have a giggle at myself at how

stupid I sound. I won't be too hard on myself as we do what we feel is right in the time. And as well, all we do is we want a perfect family unit. But after the reality check, I needed and realizing that a man that's already made his shit choices can't be saved, he left probably around the same time as it got read out on the pod. Shortly after him leaving, I realized that the temporary car he had from a friend as his car was needing repairs was in fact another girl so he actually had two affairs in the end

he'd actually had the audacity to have two affairs so the second affair would have been around the time that I was emailing in thankfully this was a holy grail for me as although he'd already left it made me realise that the problem was not me my looks or my insecurities it was in fact that he was a poor

exclusive man that needed constant validation from women. Amen. This really helped with my healing. Although it was early days and still is, my biggest fear was being alone in the house, but this is now the norm for me and I feel perfectly fine just me and my boy. It's not been easy since he left. I've received a lot of verbal abuse and on one occasion physical abuse and damage to my property. A true narcissist, this is all because he sees me doing well without him and in fact the world does continue to spin even if he's not part of my world anymore. Honestly, I wouldn't say that I found myself, but as a girl in her early 20s, I've realised that it was a whole lot more to life to be lived. I had my son quite young at 18,

so I never really had the opportunity to have fun with the girls or guys. I do have a lot of trauma from the situation, the things he did and the events afterwards, but it's just opened my eyes to what I will never accept in a man again. That being said, I have major trust issues now. However, I'm working on myself and I have a long way to go. I recently bought a very nice car, a car that I have always wanted and our home is peaceful with no angry man stomping around. I've booked Disneyland for my son,

a holiday my baby has always wanted to go on but we couldn't afford at the time as we had a man child financially draining us and in hindsight I would have never have left so he really did do me a favour by doing all that he did. I now have a spare time as the little one sees his dad, not regularly. that's another problem, but when he does decide to see his son, it frees up time for me which I never

had before. Well ladies, let's just say the last few months have been fun. I've been out with my girls to festivals, pubs, enjoying my life, meeting new people, friends. I haven't had the chance to experience this as I'm only 25 and I have my baby young. I don't know how to say it in a lady like manner laugh, but I'm not interested in dating at or anything serious right now, but I have had a few one night's sands and I've had so much fun. Go you. I've got a long way to go, but anyone in a similar situation thinking it's the end of the world when their partner leaves, it's really not the end.

It's actually a beginning of a new chapter. Thank you, girls, for being a support I never knew I needed. And a small act of your advice really gave me the kick that I needed to leave this toxic man. You really are the girls' best friends that we all need. Keep it up, girls, absolutely love the pod. Do you know what? It's just so nice when you hear that someone gets that sort of like light bulb moment of like, oh, lo, like he did me a favour by leaving.

Something you said though, like, are we actually helping people? Like, it's so true that when these men leave, because you are not brave enough to maybe face the reality on your own, they are, that's the kindest thing that they could have done for you. Like, he was a complete and utter waste of space. And what a nice, validating moment when you found out that not only was he having one affair, but he was having two, because it's not about the other woman. It's about them and that they can't do the work or be a good person. And if they're going to do it to you, they're going to do it to someone else. Get rid and move on.

I'm just smiling. I'm just sat here smiling because I think it's just so amazing. Like, I think you guys don't realize that your stories also inspire us as well. Like just to hear how like literally people are treated like absolute rubber. and they still manage to turn it around, always pull themselves through and like come out at the other end. Like the way you've been able to give your son this life that you always wanted for him. Like I think that's just absolute magic. And like I really hope anyone listened to this who's like maybe in those earlier stages where they're kind of like ignoring a lot of red flags and you know, they know that that's coming.

It's stories like this that give us hope that like you're going to be okay. Like there's there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Definitely. Yeah. I believe this is also an update, caught in a lie. I emailed a couple of weeks back regarding my situation about a guy I was dating and had fallen out early in the relationship, but we were having another go long distance as is currently working away.

Well, I took your advice on board and I gave him a clean exit. I said to him, I needed clarity we were both in this together and working towards the same thing. Well, from that message, and I fully thought he would end it, he actually stepped up. He was consistent, affectionate, planning dates and so on. I thought, oh, brilliant. maybe he just needed to kick up the ass. A few weeks later, we were FaceTiming.

Right from the start of the call, he was holding the phone so close to his face. I couldn't even see his jawline. I mean, I can't think of a more on flattering angle. I have to like hold it away in like position. So I'm in like good light, you know. I pointed it out and he just said, oh, I'm tired and I want to see the sparkling your eyes.

Ew. So obviously I'd clocked it but didn't make a thing out of it. So we were chatting and he's saying how his mum face timed him the night before saying she really missed him. And I said, oh, are you going to see her properly next time you're at home? And he said, yeah, I'll have to, won't I? We're chatting more and talking about memories and he said, last time you were here, but I've never visited where he's working at the moment. So that was an alarm bell. And I started trying to see if I can recognise his house behind his face filling the entire screen.

Yeah, I was thinking with his face being so clear. Did you not think that? I thought there was someone behind him or something. No, my mind straight away went that he's in a different background. I feel like I'm like just shit. Oh, I love your face, babe. Loll, I recognised his living room and said, are you at home? So he's lied and said he's working away.

He said, yeah, for my dad's birthday. I am mortified. In a tone like I already knew. At this point, it was clear. why he'd been holding the phone so close to his face. He was hiding where he was. I honestly wouldn't have cared that he went home as we had plans to see each other in the next two weeks. In fact, if anything, I'd want him to get it out the way so I had his full attention. Another thing to add, when we were arranging a date to see each other, one of the dates I suggested

was the end of November and he said, I can't do that date because it's my dad's birthday. Okay, so back to the face time. I ask him, why didn't you say you were at home? He said, what do you want me to say? I've driven home. Yeah. I'm not asking anything absurd, but been on the phone for well over half an hour,

so he had plenty of time just to tell me. That's so weird. Then I mentioned the fact he said his dad's birthday was the 29th of November and while his face just dropped and I pulled the thread up on our chat straight away and read it out.

Oh my God, I love that. Get the receipts out, girl. Like, girls always have receipts, right? We don't just plumb it out all this random information. I lose my clothes receipts. Oh yeah, I can't keep there. but I will know what you said

and exactly what day and time and I will find the text message for sure 100%. Honestly, it's nothing to say and actually try to change the subject and manipulate me by saying, oh, work have said I can just take as much time as I want off in November.

I'll just let you pick and he knows how much I've been wanting to see him. Obviously he thinks I'm stupid. Stupid enough not to clock. He was hiding his location and stupid enough not to see him trying to sweet talk me. I ended the phone call,

not in a dramatic way. I just said I was tired, but he will have known I was suspicious and pissed off. After the call, I calmly message him saying, I'll be honest, I'm feeling a bit confused. You holding your phone close to your face, not telling me you were home

and getting your dad's birthday dates mixed up. I don't really get it. Well, he just tried to gaslight me saying it wasn't that deep, that he always holds his phone close to his face. I'd go cross-eye. And that it was last minute, so he doesn't really know what he would tell me. I was calm and I just said,

let's be straight with each other going forwards. To which he responded, so you just want me to tell you when I'm home for half a day, Loll. Just writing this is annoying me. I couldn't believe his tone. I thought he'd take accountability and move on because let's be honest, he'd been caught in a sloppy lie. After this, I didn't speak to him for a couple of days

and eventually I reached out to say, can we talk tonight? Well, he was obviously still in the mood because he was trying to argue with me, which honestly just made him look even more guilty. He was trying to say I didn't argue with him before because I can't have a conversation without it turning into an argument.

Deflect. Completely clutching at straws at this point and was just embarrassing himself. I told him I needed a few days to clear my head and his reply was, oh, okay, speak soon. And that was nearly a week ago. And I have absolutely no intention of reaching out to him

and I hope he doesn't contact me. Good girl. Yes, Queen. I'm actually so glad his mask lit before we met up as I've not seen him now in one and a half months. So the memories are now fading. I was actually so proud of how I dealt with it. Yet that almost annoyed him more

because he had no emotional leverage to use against me. And even though he tried to turn it on me, I didn't take the bait. I remained calm and now I've walked away with my dignity intact. You girls are always saying you don't know someone for months and this just goes to show that if you give it enough time, they will eventually reveal themselves. Yeah. Do you know what? You should be really proud of yourself and I love how you handled that, how you didn't like

ignore a red flag and give excuses and you saw it for what it was. You've drawn a line and you're done. and that is the energy that we are taking into 2026. Oh, yes. I think as well, like, we've said it before, but sometimes it's like, it's not the big lies, it's the little lies that build up.

And if they can start lying about the little things, then God knows, like, some of the big things, yeah, not here for that. Not here for that. No, not here for that. It's nice to hear, like, it's what we need to make a promise to ourselves, girls, going into this year, is that...

And we're making an oath. We're making an oath that we will not ignore blatant red flags. waving in front of us. Repeat. We will not be ignoring. Latent red flags waving in front of us.

Amen. Like a bull. Green only. Green only. Hashtag green only. Hashtag wave your green flag. Wave your flag. Amen.

Okay. This email is quite short but you like it. It was drawn to me. The holiday that changed everything. It was our first family holiday, a trip we'd been looking forward to for months. Our baby was just eight months old and I was really excited for us to make memories together. One evening my partner decided to go on his own for a few drinks and I didn't really think much of it at the time. He came back at around 3am covered in sand and insisting that he needed a shower before bed.

Something in me immediately fell off. I accused him of being with another woman but he denied it. Against my better judgment. I let it go or at least I tried to why is anyone coming back covered in sand? I've had to see my role to be holding his name.

He's rubbed me tackling a fucking shock. I just saw this image of him like doing a log roll from the top of the beach all the way he does. What the next morning at the pool I noticed the next morning at the pool I noticed he looked pale and unsettled

almost as if he'd seen a ghost. People were, won't get that. They don't, no friends, sorry. My cut twisted. Then, a young woman, someone I'd noticed around the resort with her long-term boyfriend, came and sat near us. Later, she joined me in the pool, chatting casually and asking lots of questions about my daughter. Her curiosity struck me as strange, but I brushed it aside. The afternoon, while I was having lunch with my baby, a woman approached me and quietly said that she needed to talk. She told me, I've seen your partner kissing another woman in the sea

and my partner has it on video. Roll the tape. What the fuck. My heart stopped. Without thinking, I ran down to the beach. I hope you took your child with you. And there they were in the water, completely wrapped up in one another,

kissing passionately while she had her legs around him. Wait, is it the woman who was talking to her in the pole? Yeah. Who was away with her partner? Yeah, the sight shattered me. I went absolutely ballistic. In the aftermath, he swore it had been nothing more than a kiss. I wanted so badly to believe him,

but about a month later, the truth came out and they slept together the same night. The night he came back, covered in sand and climbed into bed beside me. Mike drop. What the fuck? That is the end of the email. How have you left it? You're not even safe on a family. holiday.

No, but like, please tell me you ended it. Like, like, you're not with him anymore and did you see the video and can we get it? Show me, show me the video.

Also, just, oh my God. Also, can we just say, like, why they do that in the middle of the day? Can we do a round of applause to being a girl's girl and telling her? Because we need more people like that. You see something wrong.

I'm getting involved. Yeah. Okay, this one's called my story. Hi, ladies. First, let me start by saying I absolutely love your podcast and started listening to this earlier this year when my marriage broke down. As someone who doesn't have any single mum friends, listening to your podcast helps me feel normal and that I'm not alone in what I'm going through.

As times I really struggle with the loneliness and feeling like the single one in my group of friends. Sorry, this is going to be a long one. I was with my partner for 12 years, married for 10. We had just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. And at the start of this year, I found out my husband was having a three-month affair with someone 13 years younger than us. We have a beautiful daughter and to everyone, including me,

it felt like we had the perfect life. He would often be away with works. I was completely shocked to find this out as we all thought he was never the type to do such a thing and I completely trusted him. He then emotionally abused me for three months telling me he didn't find me attractive and no longer loves me.

The classic line of, I love you, I'm just not in love with you. But every time I would walk away, he would then come back saying he wanted to try and work things out. I even booked a weekend away for us two weeks after discovering about the affair so we could try to use the time to reconnect. But as he kept saying he doesn't love me and I'm not attractive, I decided to not go.

And he used the weekend away alone to find himself after telling us all he was broken. All my friends and family at the time kept saying to me it felt like it was the other way round and that it was like I had cheated on him as all I was concerned about was helping him get through this. and thinking this is so unlike him. However, my gut kept telling me there was more.

So I kept on digging. Always trust your gut, ladies. It's never wrong. A few months after finding out about the affair, I had discovered he was also sleeping with prostitutes. I don't understand. I don't get it. Neither.

What is the... I don't get it, the appeal. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for. Especially when you're like, you're already having an affair. Why do you need prostitutes as well? like put your money in shares or something. Like it's just don't get it. Make it make sense.

Like, I don't feel like it's hard to get sex. They must get a thrill about paying for it or like, are these women really good? Like, are there things that we need to be learning from them? Do they have magic possesses? I don't know. Do they taste like rainbows and strawberries? Oh. It's making me a bit unwell.

I asked for dates and times on when he was. with these women and found out that he was in hotel rooms with these women multiple times whilst I was at home with our sick child. Nothing serious, just usual school bugs, but I would have to give up work to look after her. He would be messaging asking how our daughter is, or whilst being in a hotel room at that exact time, telling me it was a work dinner and choosing to not come home and help me. I knew his career was very important to him, so I never asked for him to come home and help, especially as he made me feel bad if I ever did ask. To make it worse, he even doubled up on days, having prostitutes and his mistress all on the same day.

Greedy. STD for you. STD for you. STD for you. What's the fuck? The mistress did not know about me, or the prostitutes. Oh, wow. Needless to say, once I found out about the prostitutes, I was done.

I then filed for divorce and throughout the divorce proceedings, I found out that he was with over 40 prostitutes over a approximately a six month period. That is... I want to do the maths. One woman every 4.56 days. I feel... Making out that you did that math in your head. By the way, I'm also like a maths genius.

My IQ is beyond anything. I am... Appalled. Like, just... The state of your willy. No, but the willy doesn't change. Might do. The amount of...

The jean on it. Goneria. No. I hope he's been checked right. Anyway, he had even continued with the prostitutes after he got caught with the affair. There was even a day his parents had come over begging me to take him back before the prostitute discovery and him saying he would never cheat again. And then the next day he was in a hotel room with another prostitute.

He has shown he simply does not care about anyone but himself. His friends and family have all defended him wanting to... How can anyone? and defend him, but I'm just so embarrassed that people are defending him. We all know people like that. Yeah, true. He didn't mean to sleep with the prostitute. He's such a good guy.

You pushed him to do it. Maybe he's taking that, do you remember that drug, that other guy took it? Yeah. I've actually heard it's like rife on the market at the moment. Yeah. Everybody's doing it. His friends and family have all defended him, wanting to ignore this has ever happened and still believe he is a good person.

with even his best friend telling him that I'd pushed him to the brink of this. Fuck off. I'm not quite sure how I could have pushed him to any of this when I was the one hurt the most after our daughter who's far too young to know what's truly happened. They have all made me feel like I was crazy and that I need to forget about it all

as it's just not his true character. However, I know this is who he... For me once, shame on you. For me 60 times, shame on me. No? I'm quite the same ring to her. Oh my Christ, almighty. They have all made me feel like I was crazy.

Right, hang. However, I know this is who he truly is. As before we got married, I'd caught him messaging another woman, but overlooked it at the time and thought he had learned his lesson. True, I find it really interesting. We get this a lot, right? Someone's like, right, right at the beginning, this is what happened. And I feel like it's always linked to the thing that happened at the start. It's always the thing that breaks in.

it like it's like It's finally taking that oath now for 2026 haven't we? We're not going to ignore the red flags. We're not ignoring those red flags. It's been a traumatic year but I am incredibly proud of what I have achieved. We sold our family home and I was able to buy my own home for my daughter and I which you moved into a month ago.

I can't tell you how nice and free it feels to have my own space and know that no man can ever take this home away from us ever again. I have full custody of our daughter but he comes over and helps out with school runs and sees her most weekends. My daughter has always been a mummy's girl and thankfully with all the changes she seems to be handling it very well. I'm still on the healing journey

but I hope to one day find an amazing man and create that loving life I have always dreamed about but I can't lie. This experience has left me scarred and traumatised that I'll just get hurt again. I'm thankful for my family and friends

and try to remain positive every day. Listen to both your stories gives me hopes that I will find love one day. Thanks. emotional. When I'm ready to let someone I'm not trying to

be sensitive but sometimes you've got to laugh at your life look you love yourself yeah everybody loves

everybody oh no thank you lots of love thank you again for this podcast oh god

you know you know it's like we're sitting here preaching, giving all this a part. And we can't. You're going to find a lot of your life. I will go to your email in a minute,

but one thing that I was thinking of on reflection is something that I've definitely learned in the breakup that I'm going through is I don't feel like I've come out of this relationship traumatized or anything that's bad. Like he was a good guy. He was trustworthy. He was loyal. So I feel like there's definitely. difference between the marriages that we came out of and what needed to be done in order

to work and heal ourselves. And although we needed to do that work after our first, after like your ex and God, my first. My ex gave me faith that Goodman exists. Yeah. And I feel like, I know that I got really upset the other week when I was saying I feel like I've let people down. Like one thing I do want people to hold on to and understand and what I'm holding on to is like, I still believe in good men because he was a good man he just wasn't the right man for me and I think it is holding on to

like there are good men out there that don't do things like this that you know are just not just because they're not your person doesn't mean that they're not good and I feel like what you went through was horrible but like thank God that he is not your problem anymore

like what a vile specimen like you will one day meet your person and I hope that we can still bring people that hope and the stories that we share as well that like it it can happen and it will happen and it's again making sure we don't ignore those red flags at the early early stages. I also feel like your story is like incredibly traumatic like I can't imagine how it must feel to find out like your ex-husband slept with over 40 prostitutes like for me that is a wild thing to process and the fact that you're sat there writing that email saying look I'm not fully healed but wow I'm in such

a good place I've got my own home I've got this like that is power that is powerful that you have turned your life around and I really want people listening who are going through the shit right now and I've been there we've all been there in that situation where you think my life is over like what's the point my life is over I'm never going to be happy again me and the kids you know there was something that really pointed out for me in that one about my daughter has always been a mummy's girl and she's been handling the changes really well. I think so many of us fear how our children are going to adapt to these situations but our kids bounce kids are so adaptable and I think especially when they're seeing their mum thrive their dad thrive whatever it is and whatever

situation you're in like that is powerful for a child to grow up seeing the fact she has watched you look they don't have an understanding of what you've been through and thank god they don't like thank God they don't, but to watch their mom, like, set an example, to be happy, to focus on themselves, I think that is the most powerful thing we can do as parents for our children. Amen. Hi, ladies, I wanted to share my story with you, Amazing Women, after watching your podcast. It really gave me motivation to finally speak out about my past experience. I was in a domestic abusive relationship just over two years.

At the beginning, I genuinely thought I'd found Mr. Wright. He couldn't have seemed more perfect, or so I thought. But a few months in, the crack started to show. He began taking his phone everywhere with him, always placing it face down when we sat together, arguments started happening more and more, followed by nights or even whole weekends where he'd disappear with no explanation.

I wouldn't know where he was or even if he was okay, and all of this was happening alongside the abuse. Eventually, I decided enough was enough. One night I fled with my children and started over. I began to rebuild my life, little by little, trying to heal from the trauma. then came the bombshell. Just four days after I left,

he moved a new girlfriend into what had been our home. My things and my kids' things were still there. That's when everything came crashing down. I found out that throughout our whole relationship, he'd been cheating, not just with her, but with many others too. After years of being told that I was imagining things, being made to feel like I was crazy or wrong, I finally had proof,

proof that I should have just trusted my instincts all along. It's taken me years to reach. a point where I can openly talk about my experience and your podcast has played a huge part in this journey for me. Hearing the stories of so many incredible women who have rebuilt their lives after infidelity gave me the courage to reach out. I've now started speaking publicly about my own experiences, hoping to help others who are going through something similar. Your podcast has truly helped me to get to this stage. So thank you so much. That is, Wow.

Can you imagine you just like me? Just the whole double life. Yeah, but you leave thinking like, I'm done, and four days later, there's a new girl in your home. Imagine how many others he's got lined up. Yeah. They're just like, he's calling them off his roster next up. Do you know what? Good for you that you took that leap and you left and you followed your guard in the end. And it's not, you know, putting ourselves down too much for like not doing it sooner.

or even the people who end up saying, I didn't leave and he ended up leaving me, but I'm so happy he did. Like, you can only do what you're capable of doing, what you feel like you have the power to do. And sometimes the choice is then taken out of our hands and that's okay. Or you get moments like this where you get that clarity and it pushes you even further.

But I think it's just really holding on to trusting the process and knowing that eventually things are going to be okay. and not being with someone like that because that is just wild vile. My marriage ended on Mother's Day. I just wanted to start by saying thank you. Truly, you have been the friends I needed

at the darkest point of my life and I will forever be grateful for you both and this podcast. Almost two years ago, my life completely changed. I met my ex-husband when we were 19. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted or what I valued, like most of us at that age.

We were together for 10 years and married for just over two with a one-year-old daughter. and honestly it sounds like the familiar story I hear so often on your podcast. He became distant, glued to his phone, dressing younger, verbally abusive when he drank and just seemed so angry at me and at life. On Mother's Day, 24, I had to organise my own Mother's Day breakfast at our local pub. I even had to beg him to come to my parents' house afterwards.

This followed an argument where I asked what he was doing for Mother's Day and he replied, what do you want from me? Worship the ground you walk on. That was the moment I finally listened to my gut. On the drive home after dropping our daughter at my parents for the night, I asked him in the car, are you cheating on me? It was deny, deny, deny, until we got home. I made him swear on our daughter's life.

I feel like we all do this. I feel like because your children are so important to you, you don't feel like anyone could possibly. I don't agree. No, but I think as women, we don't... No, but I feel like men don't give a shit. No, men, that's what I'm saying. I feel like, as women, we feel like, like, how could you possibly lie?

If anyone is listening now, and they're like, I know my partner's not cheating on me because he's for on our kids' life, that's not a valid. Yeah, no way, that's what I'm saying. That's what I mean. Like, I don't believe in it because people don't believe in it. And like I said, no one's that powerful. No, you're not God. The silence that followed was the longest silence I've ever experienced. And then he said,

I had no text, no proof, no evidence, just my intuition. And my life fell apart in that moment. But it wasn't like the movies. He didn't beg, apologize or cry. He ran out the house and I didn't see him for a week. Wow. All on Mother's Day. At first he told me it was with a younger girl from work,

Hugh Music. And it started at their Christmas party and lasted four months. 2024. I kicked him out. He moved back and with his parents. and I began life as a single mum. He kept the other woman a secret until I found a shared calendar

where he referred to time with our daughter as child's name, duty. And that was it. I filed for divorce in July 2024. Unsurprisingly, he wanted his family back soon after. After many hard conversations, I decided to try again. I felt like I owed it to my daughter

to say I truly tried. And less than a week later, he told me he didn't love me, wasn't attracted to me and left again. By Christmas 2024, he wanted me back once more. I was stronger this time, but I still believe maybe now he knew what he wanted. I was wrong. During that period, he admitted the affair hadn't been four months at all.

It had started when I was seven months pregnant. He also confessed that this woman, if you can even call her that, had met my daughter without my consent. Once again, He chose to leave. And it's hard to describe how I felt then. Looking back, I don't remember much of that time. I lost a lot of weight, struggled with depression and anxiety

and focus on surviving one day at a time. Fast forward to September 2025 and my divorce was finalised. I'd met the most amazing man on hinge over the summer and through a divorce party surrounded by my closest friends and family. Now I'm about to leave my family home and move into my new house with my daughter and our dog. I'm in a relationship with the kindest, gentlest, most supportive man. And through therapy, time, self-reflection, self-help books and your podcast, I got here.

To anyone who is in the thick of it right now, ride the wave. But please don't lose hope. This moment in your life may be the most pivotal and the life-changing thing you go through, but you will thrive in your new life, I promise. Thank you again, girls. I hope to come to my first event this year. Oh, love that. Oh, like, it is really inspiring to hear like really,

horrific emails. Like sometimes I put my life into perspective, like with some of these emails. And I don't think it's right to be like, God, yours is so much worse. Everyone's pain and things have gone through aren't great. Like, they're all valid. How you feel is valid. And it's all relative, I guess, isn't it? It's all relative, yeah.

Yeah, no, I think just the end of that email sort of just... You need to hear that. Yeah, but at the same time, I think, like, what I sometimes find quite difficult is you know, I remember thinking I had that. And yeah, it's still quite a hard pill to swallow when you think that you finally got the happy ending that you've always dreamed of and then you haven't. You will.

Onwards and upwards, guys, eh? So, girls, I want to show you my product of the week. I caved. I've been seeing this all over Instagram, seeing this brand all over Instagram by memory. They also do like apparently the most unbelievable candles. I really want to get one. But I did treat myself to this perfume.

So basically I think I ordered the discovery kit. So you can order the discovery kit and you get like the tiny little samples of each one. Right. How much is the discovery kit? Okay. So like it is what it is. And I always like those four. Okay.

And so I thought they're great for when I go like I took this mini away to Paris. I was like I'm going to try it for a week and see like if I feel like it's a bit. of me. I'm converted. I just feel like it's, my friend was saying to me, I just feel like it's your scent. It's called envelope. It is honest, I can't, can't say it's like, I'd imagine like a sexy,

sophisticated queen wearing it. That's all I can give you right now. Honestly, it smells divine, I'm living in it. And this is like my date perfume. So it's not like an everyday one. It's not cheap, but it is absolutely sensational. She has a few other scents as well. And she's just to release a new one.

one called Vanilva or something, vanilla vulva. They're all amazing for me. This is my favourite one. Like I said, I have got the Discovery Kit. But yeah, go check her out. Bring the Discovery Kit next week so I can smell the others. Half of them are gone though. I use them, so as babes.

But I'll bring what I can. Confession of the week. I stayed longer in my relationship than I should have. Not because I thought things would magically get better, but because I wasn't financially ready to stand on my own yet. I needed a time to get back to work, get stable, and feel like I could actually survive on my own. So yeah, I stayed with him for the money.

Am I proud of it? No, but it was practical. I think that's a lot of people probably do, don't know? Yeah. Set themselves up, get yourselves ready. Yeah. And then leave. William. Yeah.

Affirmation of the week. Life doesn't always go the way you plan. Sometimes the door you were desperate to open, stay shut. You were forced to walk a new path that you didn't expect. But that path, it can lead to something even better. Something that fits your soul in ways of. original plan never could. So trust the turns, even when they don't make sense yet, you might just end up somewhere

even more beautiful. Amen. Guys, have the best week. Keep emailing us. I really want. Do you know what I want? I want another episode, like the ones where we're like on the floor crying. Yeah, I mean, they are going to scare me a bit.

But yeah, send the dating ones, send the funny ones, send the updates, send the confessions of the week. Send them all. Go and join Patreon if you need more than just your weekly fix. And we will see you again. next week. Love yeah. Bye.