Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce - Kylie on Ellie Starting Kindergarten, Welcoming LeBron to Philly & Shutting Down Pregnancy Rumors | Ep. 75

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Kylie is back with another SOLO SPECTACULAR as she welcomes in the newest member of the Philadelphia 76ers…. LeBron James (2:01)!! She gives the James family all her best Philadelphia food recommendations as she gets hyped for the upcoming NBA season.  Also, Kylie kicks things off with a little You Know What’s F***ed Up: commenting on women’s bodies, ESPECIALLY commenting that they look pregnant (6:01). Then Kylie braces for the reality that is having her second kid leave her for Kindergarten in as many years (11:45)… but this time she’s betting Ellie will at least turn around to say goodbye. Then, Kylie sits down to answer questions from the Real Ones about how to convince your spouse to have another child (15:50), what the sexiest chore your partner can do is, and which of her daughters has Uncle Travis wrapped around her finger the most (19:50). Kylie also watches the craziest video of an unfortunate color-drenched bathroom (38:01), and how to pick up nieces and nephews at parties as the “cool aunt.”  After that, Kylie had such a great success rate with adoptions last episode that she brings back more Adoptable Animals (27:12)! This time we have a pirate dog, as well as two turtles, Gritty & Swoop, and the cutest, playful kitten! You can adopt these animals and many others who need homes right now from the PSPCA. Lastly, Kylie gets put through the wringer in another summertime Pop Quiz where she cannot guess the length of The Odyssey, cast of Spiderman, or Queen Emma’s moon sign (53:59).  You can find even more clips from Kylie’s longer episode recording on our YouTube channel on More Sh*t Monday. . Download the full podcast here: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-gonna-lie-with-kylie-kelce/id1780888125 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0RgXbSGGmwpzAyeLHbDqUD?si=4585dab89c4f4c11&nd=1&dlsi=e178bf324b99403f Follow Not Gonna Lie on Social Media for all the best moments from the show: lnk.to/j61XD8 Purchase NGL Merch: https://www.nglkylie.com Support the show: DoorDash: When life gets crazy, DoorDash helps bring some order to it. Order Now. https://www.doordash.com/ Allstate: Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You’re in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, & availability. Allstate North American Ins. Co. & affiliates: Northbrook, IL. Oura Ring: Discover how Oura can help you better understand your health. https://ouraring.com/store/rings/oura-ring-5 CVS Health: Go to https://CVS.com/app to learn more and download the app now. Dove: Your Dove purchase helps keep girls in sports. Go to http://Dove.com to check out the Body Confident Sport program to share with a coach you may know Learn more about today’s Adoptable Animals of the Week: https://www.pspca.org/adopt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And what better buddy than a turtle? We have four kids. Stop trying to get me to have more. Sometimes the laundry baskets are heavy. And again, we get into the whole like bicep curl situation. Yum. How many times can I say yum thinking about my husband doing chores? He might be the stone cold killer we're looking for.

Not going to lie. I'm pretty excited about this Sixers season. Let's get this podcast started. Welcome back to a special solo episode of Not Gonna Lie, A Wave Original brought to you by Allstate. A lot of the real ones in the comments of our Backstreet Boys episode said it was going to be tough to follow them. And honestly, yes. So we said, fuck it.

You get nobody this week. You're stuck with just me and whatever creatures come through that door. So excited. That's right. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey. It's officially our third NFL training camp where Jason is no longer playing. And that's lovely. It really is because it means that he does.

doesn't have to move out. I really like having my husband with me. And also he's not going head to head with other, let's say, 250, 300 pound men on a daily basis. I'm also an enjoyer of ferrets, but not mice. I want to emphasize that. Not mice. Yuck, you know. if the PSPCA does have mice for adoption, they're not actually invited. It turns out we have plenty here because we don't have a cat. And I'm a big fan of the newest member of the Philadelphia of 76ers. I mean, who isn't? It's LeBron James.

Or should I say, oh, thank you. Nailed it. Thank you, Queen Emma. I'm excited about this. We've been waiting. we've been waiting for quite some time. I'm feeling pretty good about the Sixers season. Now, yes, that feels better.

We found out while we were at the shore. And after it was announced, I'm not exaggerating. maybe two hours later, the, if you've ever been to the, if you've never been to the Jersey shore, one of the things that is a staple is the banner planes that fly across the coast. This banner in particular said, welcome king number 23. Here's how I look at this. LeBron is a goat, right? he is one of the best to ever do it, if not the best to ever do it. And ultimately, him coming to

Philadelphia feels to me like he's saying this is a really good chance to win. Now, I'm saying it in a slightly noncommittal way because I'm superstitious and I refuse to be the reason. You know what I mean? But here's the other side to look at that. He is so knowledgeable about the game. Opponents he's had, guys he's played with, guys he's played against for him to look at Philadelphia and think that. I'm not going to say I feel really good about it, but I like our odds. Very thrilled about it. So I would like to welcome the James family in Philadelphia. If you guys need any recommendations, I got you. Mrs. James, Savannah, we would like to officially invite you on to NGO. Don't be silly, guys. We've done it before.

But this time we could do it in person. In Philly. Maybe we could get some good Philly staples. I'll bring you a Stocks pound cake, maybe some Angelo's pizza and a cheese steak. But I'm so excited to have you guys here and the Philly area welcomes you with excited and open arms. And go Sixers. Hell yeah. All right, that's it for the Philly LeBron talk for now.

Can't promise it won't come up again. Coming up on today's episode, it's solo. Is it a spectacular? It's a solar spectacular as Queen Emma. Queen Emma cannot help herself. Queen Emma thinks it's a solo spectacular, which means we loaded up on questions from the real ones about everything. We got what my kids think I do for a living.

Oh no. Top five things that can suck my ass. and advice I'm definitely not qualified to give because you shouldn't ask for my advice, really? Most times I should not give advice. I'm also going to talk about how fucked up it is that I just got off the emotional roller coaster of Wyatt going to kindergarten and now I'm about to do it all over again with Elliot. Thrilled. I'm thrilled. I'm so excited to do that again. Plus, I'm going to be joined by more adoptable animals right here in the studio and I have no idea what

kind because Queen Emma wouldn't tell me. I know we said we were going to do this segment monthly, but then we said, why the fuck not? But before we get to all that, I wanted to start the show with some real one comments of the week. But these comments are actually more deserving of a, you know what's fucked up? Hold on one second. My orthodox is calling. Hello? Hi, Megan. I'm okay. How are you? I'm so sorry. Yep. Every night. Okay, bye. They're great. I love them. I lost my retainers. That's one of my favorite podcast interruption. I think we've ever had. You know what's fucked up? Oh, hey on. Sorry, it's one orthodontist.

Hold on. I'm 34 years old. It's my orthodontist. Hey, you know what's fucked up? Commenting on women's bodies. That's it. That's the whole thought. But specifically commenting on the possibility of a pregnancy. And I don't know how many times we have to go over this. We've done it on TikTok. we've done it here on the show, and therefore we've done it on Instagram. And I think all other social media platforms, let's dive in. And I would just like to point out this is one of the many reasons why I do not read comments. I had no idea this was happening.

I had no idea. I mean, ignorance is blessed, guys. There were a few of these comments left on the photos from my Paris trip. So I guess people need a reminder. The first comment says at NGL with Kylie, is it the dress? Or is that a little baby bump? Ooh. Nope.

Don't worry. It gets worse. The next comment said, I see a baby bump. That was confident. Confidence. Okay. The next one says, she's pregnant with four. four question marks?

First of all, hell no. I have four children. Four. Four. If you're confused, I have four. I have so many kids that over the last week, I've had three different people forget that I had four kids and thought I had three. Okay?

I have so many kids that one's getting forgotten somewhere along the way. Okay. Okay? People are like, how? Didn't you just have Wyatt? I'm like, thanks for saying that. Then I had three more. Pete, I have four children. We have four kids. Stop trying to get me to have more. Stop it. That's between me, my husband, and my motherfucking uterus. Second of all, second, yep, you thought I was going to be done. No, I'm not. the thing. When your body stretches out to accommodate growing a human being, it's not necessarily going to go back to the way it was. Even more so, I have organs and they go in there. That's

where they live their life. Okay. Now, am I 100% percent. pre-baby body? No, because that's never happening. And that's okay because I have made for human beings. I can't believe that we are still out here looking at someone in a dress that is not a fitted dress and saying, that's a baby bump. That's, that's, there's a, there's a, there's something there. There's a bump and there's something there. Cut it out. Stop what you're doing. Stop it. Stop it. We don't need to do that anymore. We don't. Because here's the thing, even if, which I am not, even if I was with child, that is between me and my husband to decide when we would like to share that information. Why are you in the comments guessing off the shape of this dress? And I would also like,

to point out that a lot of people in the comments that I did read said that they liked this dress. And more importantly, I liked this dress. Guys, we got to cut this out. We got to stop this. Here's the thing. I think that unless someone is cupping their belly in a photo, that we should just assume that we're not going to talk about it. Whether it's happening, not happening, kind of, somewhat, a little bit. Maybe unless you tell me that you are pregnant, you say the words, I have a baby in my belly, or you are cupping your belly. That's your body. And it is existing. And I'm not going to form an opinion or a rumor about. it. Cut this shit out. Now that I've given my quarterly reminder, I'm in the perfect headspace

to do a, you know what's fucked up? Double feature. Hey, you know what's also fucked up? I just barely got through my first baby going to kindergarten. And now I'm already just weeks away from my second doing the same thing to me. Why do they want to leave? Why do they always want to leave you? To be fair, my second is the one who told me she would never leave me. Elie has told me. that she's going to live with us forever. Jason doesn't necessarily agree with this, but I think that we had four kids to better our odds

of at least one never leaving us. Now, I say this 75% joking. I'm 75% joking because, of course, I want our kids to go out and be contributing members to society, and I want them to go out and make the world a better place, and I want them to go out and have drive and ambition, and I want them to go and do amazing things. But also, I want them to come home as often as possible,

and I want them to visit me, and I want them to spend time with me, and I want to know about their lives, and I want to be involved in it in an appropriate, healthy way. But that don't leave me. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And I told you last year, The problem that I have with kindergarten is that when they go to a full day of kindergarten, they're leaving you forever. That's the logical response, right? No, it's not. But that's what my brain thinks.

They start kindergarten and then they're in school all day, five days a week, for the rest of their lives, until they leave you. And now Ellie's going to do it. She is really excited about it. And that is what I'm trying to focus on. That's always what I try to focus on because I don't want to ruin something for our kids because I have my own thoughts and feelings, you know? We're going to be fine.

We're going to be fine. Now, when Finn goes to kindergarten, no, I will not be fine. Then I will indeed not be fine. Even in the fine sense of like, we're fine, it's fine, everything's fine. and like, you know, it's on fire behind you. That it's not even going to be that kind of fine. I am on record saying that Elliot is, I think, our Swedish child. And by that, I just mean when she was five weeks old, this is not an exaggeration.

When she was five weeks old, she smiled at us on purpose consistently. And anybody that has we humans knows that that's too early. That doesn't happen that early. Typically, it's between six and eight weeks that they start smiling at you. and usually it's like few and far between. She was the sweetest, happiest little baby. She was just so sweet and happy. And so I want her to stay as sweet and loving and as innocent as possible.

She last night went to walk past Finn's door when Finn had already been put to bed. And she whispered to the door, Good night, Finn. And then kissed the door. I am interested to see whether or not she turns around and waves to me because if you have forgotten why it did not. She did not turn around. She went straight in as if the Uber had dropped her off and she was headed into the bar for a good time. You know, not even a glance.

We'll see if Ellie looks back. You got to stay tuned for that one. I'll keep the real ones updated on this when we do our back to school special in September. For now, I'm going to distract myself with some unhinged questions from the real ones and ask me some things because ask me anything needed boundaries. Ask me some things is brought to you by DoorDash. We're going to do it rapid fire because you guys know I'm really good at that. Can we make Queen Emma happy? Probably not.

We'll see. We'll try our best. First up, what do the girls think you do? Do they know what a podcast is? So, our kids know the word podcast. I don't think they actually know what it is. Bennett just today said, are you going to do podcasts? And I said, yes, I am.

She goes, from the house? I said, yes, from the house. She said, okay, you'll be back soon. I said, yes, I will be. So they know that I podcast. They also know that I coach. And then sometimes we just give a blanket statement of mom and dad are going to work. And we don't really give details.

So I don't necessarily know that any of them would be able to tell you exactly what we do. I know that if you were to ask the girls what dad does, they would say, I think they would be able to tell you that he talks about football on the TV. and I think that they would also be able to tell you that he makes a podcast with Uncle Trap. I will say recently Jason cracked the code because he wanted to put something on the TV and why it said to him, is this for work? Because if it's for work, I'll let you watch it. And he said, yes, it is for work. And she said, okay, fine.

And then he proceeded to watch golf with absolutely no one telling him to turn it off. which was kind of crazy. I don't know how long that's going to last, but I think he should exploit it as much as humanly possible because it might be the only way that he gets to watch what he wants to watch. And I respect the hustle. Hopefully none of our kids will get into the family business of podcasting. I hope none of them will.

I did. Yeah. I'm hoping they forget. ever did this. It was like a fever dream. Like, oh, mom, podcast. No, it didn't happen. You know? And then there's this thing called the internet where the clips live forever and they're going to be able to look this all up. So, yucks. Benny does not still have her podcast and she has not been podcasting recently. But I should ask her about that. Maybe she's just on a hiatus. The next question says, I want three kids, but my husband wants to stay with two, what would you say to convince?

Oof. This might get me into the, you guys might not like my answer territory again. This is a great question. I, here's what I'll say. It takes two to tango, you know? So you're going to have to get them on board if you want three children. I think you should ask him what his reasons are. There could be a situation here where as the woman who experiences pregnancy, you might have a mental

block of the amnesia that we all get and think that it's exactly what you want and it's got to be amazing. And he might have a really good point. He might. It might be like, we're going to have to get a new car. because we can't fit the car seats. It might be we always talked about having two and suddenly you're flipping the script.

And it might be that you miss a baby. Now, this is all me trying to play doubles advocate here. I shouldn't give advice on this, but I'm going to give this is my advice. I think you should hear your husband out. I think you should ask him what his reasons are and I think you should have a lengthy discussion about why his reasons are shit.

And then I think you should go for the third kid. No, I'm kidding. I'm a little kidding. I'm a little bit kidding. I think you should talk about it more. Here's what I do know. I know that every child my husband and I have had has been an understanding between the two of us because it's our family that we are building together. So I think a really good conversation about why he is hesitant about a third child and why you feel strongly about a third child. child would be the best move forward.

From Nikki reads and reps. This next question says, which girl has Uncle Trav most tightly wrapped around her finger? This is a good question. I think it changes. I think that sometimes, I don't know. I think it changes. I think that they all know that he is very down for anything they ask him

to do or play. He'll, he's in it. So he, they know that he's a willing participant and very rarely get a no. So typically when they see Uncle Trave, it's everybody in. I would say the only person that does not have Uncle Trave wrapped around their finger is Finn. And that's because Finn wants nothing to do with anybody. But mom and dad, sometimes dad. Sometimes not sad. She's, yeah, just not Finn. Uncle Traff doesn't have Finn. That's it.

But that's just because Finn is mom's child. Yeah, I don't think I've, I know you guys want a specific answer, but I think it's all of them. I think they, I think Wyatt, Ellie, and Benny all full court press him whenever they see him to just now we're playing. I would say, uh, I would say the two older girls are more into the type of all in. play that both dad and Uncle Trav play. And Uncle Trav will get down on the floor and play a quiet game of Barbies,

but he will do like the throw, launch, all that stuff. And the two older girls are more into that. Bennett is, she's a lady and she has pearls. And she can't be bothered with that type of play. And last question until part two from Allie, this question says, What is the sexiest chore for a guy to do? Is it not the laundry? Personally, I would say taking out the trash.

Taking out the trash is the hottest for me because, I mean, first of all, it's pretty selfless. I mean, the trash is literal trash. Yuck, you know? But have you seen their arms when they do that? I mean, I can only speak for my own husband, but like when he takes out the trash and he like lifts, it's like a full bicep curl and I'm just like, wow, would you look at that? Doing the dishes, great because my husband's tall and when he bends over, it like emphasizes the size of his shoulders.

Yum. Am I right? Don't answer that about my husband. Answered about yours. Cut that out. Don't think about my. Stop thinking about my husband. like that. What other chores? I don't know, vacuuming. It's kind of nice because like, you know,

you get to watch their butt across the room. Laundry? Sure. Laundry? Oh, because sometimes the laundry baskets are heavy. And again, we get into the whole like bicep curl situation. Yum. How many times can I say yum thinking about my husband doing chores? On the real, though, my husband is not allowed to do the dishes. First of all, his shoulder's doing that. I don't think I could, I think that that should not happen in our house. Because like I said, four is cool. We're good on four right now. The other thing is that I actually don't like the way he washes. So how about that? Maybe, maybe just let your husbands know that all of the tasks are really hot. And they should do You know what's hot?

Picking up the dog shit in the bag. Scoop that shit. Am I right? Am I right, ladies? Yes. Go scoop it. Woo! So, let your men know.

Maybe try it. See what happens. I'm just saying. I was going to say you might get lucky, but that's too direct. Is it? I don't know. You're welcome, ladies.

Show that to your men. That's it for Ask Me Some Things. Part 1 brought to you by DoorDash. When we come back, I'm going to be joined by multiple surprise, adoptable animals. From the PSPCA, you don't want to miss this. Being a person is tough enough these days, let alone being a parent. That's why I use DoorDash, because when life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when we were trying to work on an art project. Guess what? We didn't have a single piece of paper. I mean, we had paper, but they were scrap pieces. And Ellie thought that that was completely

unacceptable. So you know what I did? DoorDash the paper. And then we were able to do our paintings on paper that was not going to melt at the amount of water that we like to use for that. I guess technically it was watercolors. You get what I mean. We need a paper and DoorDash had my back. So DoorDash came in clutch with that one. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need whenever you need it. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to-dos and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. We know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. Order now. The place you call home is important

to you. So it's important to Allstate because home is where you make all your memories. Like when putting the girls to bed magically turns into a full-blown concert of Sea Shanties sung by my husband, that's something you'll never forget. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings varies. Subject to terms and qualifications, Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

I'm back. And so is my all-time favorite segment. Real ones? Know this segment. Was called Adoptable Animals of the Month last week, but honestly, I couldn't wait another 30 days. So I get more creatures right here. So we're going to call this Adoptable Animals of the Week.

brought to you by Allstate. Yeah. You know, I shouldn't have a line to animals that need homes. I shouldn't be allowed to do that, but we do it anyway. Because Queen Emma likes to watch me practice self-control when I let them leave. It's the craziest phenomenon. I actually have let all of them leave. And I'm proud of myself for that.

And eventually, guys, odds say, I can't keep the streak alive. But real quick, before we bring the animals in, I'm very happy to announce that all four animals from last week got adopted. Here's Snoopy with his new family who drove all the way down from Jersey City to get him. Breeze the bunny and salmon noodles all found their forever home. So shout out to the real ones for making sure that no one was hanging out at the shelter this week after we called you guys out a little call to action to get these guys into their forever homes. I hope that you guys live happily ever after. Okay, Queen Emma wants me to intro this segment, but I already got out of my chair. So now I'm going to get on the floor because we have a puppy dog here.

His name is Rusty and he's a miniature poodle. And he is, you guessed it, rust-colored. And he, did I say he's eight years old yet? He's eight years old. He was brought to the PSPCA through the PSPCA law enforcement. He showed up with an orbital ulcer and had to be. to have his eye removed. So he's in a constant state of wink.

Okay? How cute is that? You are so cute. Hi. So this is a fresh, this is, he just had his eye removed last week. So he's still getting used to it. You could get used to it together if you adopt him right now. You could do that.

He's perfect size, fun size, if you will. He wants a house with medium-examination. He's fine with cats. I'm sure about kids, yeah. But a meet and greet will always figure out whether or not he would be comfortable in your home with your kids. And also, maybe you just maybe get rid of the kids. I'm kidding. Look straight down the barrel, Rusty.

We're going to get you adopted. We have a really great adoption rate. Look at how sweet he is. And he hasn't moved just because I'm petting him. Guys, team, squad. Look at his little face. Look at his little face. Guys, are you kidding?

He said, he said, hey, cutie. Didn't you? He's good boy. He is good boy. He is good boy. Yeah. You just want a home. Would he be cool with other?

don't. He likes other dogs. So if you have a dog, but that dog better be sweet to him. Tell the other dog that I will have words with them if they are not sweet to Rusty. Can that be our Christmas card? Okay, Rusty, I feel like you've made a really good case for yourself and you are sweet boy and you might be a pirate. Are you ready to do? Are you ready to take Rusty home? I think we did it. I think you're going to get adopted. I can, yep, feel it in my bones. Is he a studio now? Nope, we're not doing this again. No, we're not. Hmm? Put in the Britney Brosky. Oh, God, he's so cute. And he's the perfect size. Okay. These are, oh, nice names. Okay. I'm sorry, I touched your foot. That was rude of me.

Look at how cute your face is. You're going to show fish. Oh, podcast turtle. Me. Studio Turtle. Okay. These turtles, I'm going to let you get in there, Joe. These turtles are gritty and swoop.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and assume that this is swoop and that gritty is the one that's a little unhinged. Is that correct? Nice. These are red-eared sliders. Queen Emma, do you have any fun facts about red-eared sliders? they're semi-aquatic semi-aquatic thank you they need

terrariums with water and a little space to get out of the water oh no their claws feel funny that's how you can tell their voice because they have the long claws really during during mating they do a little dance

do that of course they do okay so the one that you have Sarah is gritty yes okay and this is swoop oh you're going to give them to me yes of course I would love him. I'll show you his little face. I'm going to be honest. I think I prefer the ferret claws. You're very handsome. Are you on hinged like gritty himself? Are you going to hiss for us? I have a nice little microphone here. You could give us a little ASMR. Nothing. He's thinking about his.

You can't share everything on the podcast. He's trying to be very thoughtful. But sorry, I shouldn't spoken for you. You're right. Go ahead. You know what? That was very insane. Thank you so much. Oh, what are you doing with your shoulders? What are you doing? What are you posturing for? You don't have to do a dancey dance for me. I'm taken.

Guys, there's five of them. Three females and then Gritty and swoop, two males. Swoop, a little more chill. You can take one of them. You could take two of them. You could take five of them. them. But you got to be prepared. You know what I mean? So we're not just, they're not just out here giving them to anybody. You got to be ready for it. Queen Emma, are you going to come hold these guys?

My finger touched inside of his leg hole. That was the sensation I was not prepared for. I'm into it. Am I? I don't know. I'm going to leave the turtle girling up to Emma. One of these times, We're going to get a little box turtle in here. And Emma's going to adopt the heck out of that guy. Because you know what Simon needs? A buddy. A buddy. And what better buddy than a turtle.

Look at her. She's a turtle girl. It's just her and her turtles. They're cute. This is Harrison. He's three months old. He came into the PSPCA as a little stray kids. with only one eyeball. He has one. He's so cute. I think the universe knew that if he had two

eyeballs, he would be like unbearably handsome. If you've ever seen, there's a book called Fluffy Mick Wiskers. Go look it up. Thank you so much. There's a book called Fluffy McWhiskers. And yes, of course, sir. And Fluffy Mick Wiskers. Fluffy McWhiskers was so cute that they made people explode. It was a cat that made people explode by how cute it was. Now, I think if he had two eyes, he might have been the real life Flugby and McWhiskers, so the universe said you can have one. He might be the stone cold killer we're looking for.

I mean, a stray cat is literally what we want. I'll borrow him until somebody comes through and decides to take him home. I'll borrow him. Maybe he is a stone cold killer and he can take him. mouth are living in the house. Look at what Natalie is. Maybe he should stay with us just for a minute. Hello, buddy tat.

Yes, I am aware. I will. There we go. He's like, excuse me, lady. I'm trying to play with this. Oh, he has a little button. A little button right there. A little button of white. A white button.

Boop. Oh! I'm going to touch it. I'm gonna boob it. Look at him. You would fuck up in my house. I have so much faith. This might be the level of spice that Jason wants.

He kind of seems like he would snatch birds out of the air the way that. Flashwood. You see that? He's definitely getting him birds. Don't get over here. Don't come over here. Get out of my feet. I kind of like it.

Oh, you're going to give us our ASMR. Go ahead. Mew, give it to us. All right, that does it for our adoptable animals brought to you by Allstate. For more info, check out the PSPCA.org. That's PSPCA.org. And consider being the perfect home for one of these perfect creatures. But as always, if you can't personally adopt right now,

if it's just not the time, you can always still support the PSPCA through donation of either money or items. You can also donate to your local shelters. because it's not just the PSPCA who's helping animals that don't have homes. So get out there, guys. And Harrison, I hope you find a family. It would have been cool if you could have been a Kelsey, but yeah, you and I both know that's not going to happen. We have a timeline, Harrison.

Hey, sir, we're not playing right now. Very playful. We love it. Oh, there's our ASMR. Don't tell me things. No, tell the microphone. Tell the microphone really quick. There we go. And that's all you need to know about that.

Next up, let's get into a little doom scroll the week. First up, I've told you guys a hundred times, and I'll tell you again, TikTok is about the comment section. You must sprint as fast as humanly possible to the comments. And if your first instinct wasn't to sprint to the comments on this clip, I don't know if we can be friends because it's the only reason I'm convinced that this. This went viral. Queen Emma the clip, please. So someone will tell you not to color drench your toilet room a week after you move in. For our audio listeners, they color drenched, aka they painted all of the walls and the ceiling and the inside of the door and the shelves behind the toilet.

What can only be described as shipwound. literal poop brown i don't anyway i'm not even going to i'm not going to spoil it i'm just going to get right to it this straight to business lulls straight to business first comment the dukey dungeon i can't oh god the next one was piss yellow out of stock the next one wow it's so immersive really makes you feel like you're in the bowl. I actually can't. Okay. When I saw this,

I, of course, I'm on the home renovation side of things because I find it fascinating. I find it fascinating the colors that people pick, what they choose to put together. I am not an aesthetic girlie, so I like to see what other people are doing. This was a what not to do clip,

and I feel strongly about that. I'm sorry if this is your bathroom and I'm saying this and you're hearing it. But maybe that's because you should hear this. That is literal doo-do brown. Okay. You can. You can, you can, you can paint a room that color. I just think it might be better off not to do the whole room. That's wild. I'm trying to be supportive, but I saw the color. And I saw what you did. And that comment section is. outstanding and just another clear example as to why you should always sprint to the comments. Next scroll, as someone who has declared herself to be a cool aunt on this very podcast, because I'm hip. Yep. This specific trend could not be more spot on for me. Queen of the clip. Picks you up from a party.

You're at. Oh, you're not supposed to be at. Yes. Nikki Marie, one of my favorite human beings, really in general, but also creating content, is in this clip. At first, she's saying to her niece or nephew, get over here.

We're leaving. And promptly gets sucked. in by the music because it's great. And this is a risk that my nieces and nephews are going to have coming from someone who was once at a bar that was playing country music, which if you love country music, I apologize, it is not my genre of choice. I was once at a bar with. I was once at a bar with, country music and walked outside for a minute and heard from across the street down a little bit some early 2000s hip hop and R&B and literally Irish goodbyeed the first bar, went straight to the bar that was playing the music I liked and literally danced my way into the door.

I can't help myself. I can't help myself at all. And therefore, I cannot be held responsible for the moves that I unleash when I'm picking your ass up from a party or not. supposed to be at. I think Trav knows what he and Jason were doing. And I think that Travis would absolutely pick someone up from the party and may or may not tell us about it. He might tell Jason and not me. I'm actually in that situation, I wouldn't give a shit because I would actually feel better about the fact that they called a responsible adult to pick them up. So I actually, first choice,

don't go to the party with underage drinking, knowing that that's probably not a reality. Second choice, call a responsible adult to pick you up. So that's literally a second best option. And I will take it. Okay. And lastly, a series of badass stats I saw last night about the WMBA. I literally couldn't just scroll past.

According to the GIST, 19,783 fans attended the 2026 WMBA All-Star game over the weekend, setting a new attendance record. And to put that into perspective, the NBA All-Star game had 15,973 fans in attendance. So I'm just going to leave that with you in case you wanted to know. And while I'm reading impressive stats, the 2026 WMBA season is already the league's most watched season ever and we're only halfway through. That's crazy.

The league has reached 73 million total viewers, 10 million more than all of 2025. This is so cool. And I know we talk about this frequently, but we haven't talked about it in a little while. So we're going to say it again, watching women's sports right now is so excited. There has never been a time where women's sports has had the focus on them the way they do right now. And they have earned it. And they continue to earn it. And that's amazing.

and the more that we show support with viewers and with attendance, we are only putting money, putting our money, where our mouths are, and making sure that the players who are absolutely elite women athletes are being paid appropriately. So do your part. This is amazing. We are part of a movement right now that is putting women's sports on the forefront. They are in focus, and it's so much fun that we get to be the generation watching it. Hell yeah.

Women's sports are exciting, and you can't deny it because look at us go. And that's it for Doomscroll the Week. I'll be right back with Ask Me Some Things Part 2 after these messages from me. As a type C mom, I need all the help I can get. So it's great that CBS Health app helps me handle all my health care needs. It makes the whole healthcare experience simpler and more convenient, especially for busy parents and caregivers. The CVS Health app helps me get in and out of the pharmacy fast.

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And so is. Ask me some things because Ask Me Anything was far too open-ended for some of you. Crazy Motherf. Okay. Once again, Queen Emma has a bunch of questions here. So in an effort to answer as many as I can, I'll try to do rabid fire. You saw how that worked out in the first part. Here we go.

First up, what the fuck is protein milk? I just want to hear Kylie rant. Silly. It's silly. That's what it is. It's absolutely ridiculous. drink some milk and then eat a fucking chicken cutlet. That was aggressive.

And I stand by it. You know what? Screw it. I stand by it. Eat a chicken cutlet. Eat a hard-boiled egg. Eat something. Chew something.

Can we stop trying to drink it? That's so weak. Stop trying to drink protein. Eat it. Chew it. Chew your protein. Chew it in a chicken cutlet. Chew it in a hamburger patty.

Chew it in a hard-bolead egg. Chew your protein. Also, there's protein in milk. Cut it out. Cut it out. That's enough. Cut it out. Protein milk? I have to be honest. Protein milk doesn't piss me off nearly as much as protein pasta. Don't you bring that shit over here? Don't bring that shit over here. Protein pasta? Protein pasta. You're trying to taint my pasta with protein? Yuck. Do you know where you're supposed to pair pasta with? Meatballs. That's protein. You know what else you're supposed to pair pasta with?

chicken cutlet. That's protein. Cut it out. Cut it out. Next question. Top five things that can suck your ass. Oh, I thought you wanted this to be rapid fire. Oh, no. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Number one. lying and that that that that goes in on lying can suck my ass now this is coming from someone who says i lie to my children but i won't lie to you

guys children's different we're trying to create like a magical situation for them and protect them because they're special so doesn't apply lying um that includes misleading headlines or clickbait you never mind it was going to be aggressive um i'm trying to do this rapid fire number two the dallas cowboys queen emma has a little guess list here is she guessed what i would say and she got the first two right you're correct those two things are absolutely on my suck my ass list um the other um the other um clothes that are not comfortable can suck my ass all clothes that are not comfortable suck my ass all clothes that are not comfortable suck my ass whatever

else. People who don't know how to treat animals. Suck my fat ass. How about that one? Terrible. You're awful. Don't like it. People who bring, who try to take other people down just to try and make themselves feel better. Yuck, suck my ass. That's the fastest I could make one. That's the fastest. An honorable mention would be Emma's last suggestion, which is putting protein in fucking everything. that also can get a suck my ass because, like I said, eat a chicken cutlet. That's that. Okay. Next question is more people asking me for advice for something I'm not qualified to give advice

on, but here we are. So Steph asked, expecting our fourth, how do you give all the kids enough attention? They're getting a girl after three boys. Well, I'm still trying to figure this out, Steph. And I think that the key is to make sure that you do things one-on-one with each and every child just the other day. I took Wyatt to come with me to pick up dinner a couple days before that. I took Bennett with me to get coffee in the morning mixing it up and making sure you get that one-to-one time.

Because Wyatt and I had an absolutely lovely conversation on the way back that was a very important conversation to have. And I don't think we otherwise would have had the one-to-one situation to be able to do that. because you get you get sort of locked into life and the routine of life. So bath time with that many kids ends up like it's like a revolving door of kids into the bathtub or the shower. And you get into these situations where it's sort of like everyone's around all the time. So making those one to one efforts, we have found are really important. Both Jason and I try to be really intentional about that. And we end up, I think, with really special moments where the kids talk about those things being positive experiences for a while afterwards.

So I would say one-on-one experiences. That's it for our Ask Me Some Things questions this week. Keep them coming, real ones. We'll answer more in the future episodes. All right, this is a solo episode. So in keeping with tradition, we're going to get down to the ridiculous pop quiz that Queen Emma has no doubtedly rigged because she likes to. to play dirty. And that's the only way she can get minutes for episodes. That and bringing in King Brad

to try and coax me into a green. Don't do it. Cut it out. Here we go. Let's see. Queen Emma is telling me that the stakes are, if I get six out of eight questions correct, this episode will be 60 minutes long. If I get five or less correct, it's a fresh 63. We're going on a three minute difference here? That's what's happening. High stakes. You're such a doofus. Pain at my can't wait. Yeah, whatever. I'm being told the theme this week is apparently summer. Really clever. Queen Emma, real clever. Thank you. It's creative stuff. All right. Let's do this. Oh, no. Number one, Queen Emma was not so famously or famously born this week on August 1st.

This, of course, means that she's a Leo. But what is her moon sign? You're such a butt. We literally just talked about this. You're such a butt. Wow. Okay. A, Gemini, B, Sagittarius, C, Virgo, D, Capricorn, or E, shut the fuck up.

Considering I will not tell you to shut up. That's me. it's not E. But a little deserved. I mean, maybe but that's for you to decide. Because you're the one who has to sleep at night. Okay?

Great. I think it's either A or C. I think it's either a Gemini or a Virgo. Am I right? Do you even know what it is? Well, find out when you give me the answer. Do you know what it is? Yeah, I looked it up.

It's just factual stuff. I'm going to go C, Virgo. It's A, Gemini. It's incorrect. It is Gemini. Yeah. Mother fucker, I should have gone with my gut. Let's go back. You can edit that out. It's A. Gemini.

Damn it. A chance in hell. Number two, name three actual songs with the words, summer in the title. Cruel summer. Ha! That's one. Correct.

One. Summer Lovin. Two, that's from Greece. Summertime by Will Smith. And Jazzy Jav. Summer. Summer, summer. Summer.

Okay, that is correct. But the song from Greece is technically named Summer Nights. You knew what song I was talking about and summer's still in the title. I'm taking that.

I'm actually taking that. But it's not an actual song. I'm taking it. Summer nights. Summer is still in the title. But you said Summer Levin. You knew exactly what I was talking about. Is that registered with

Yes, it does. Okay. Great. All right. So one to one. You could have totally found it on Spotify if you search what I search, what I said, rather. Yeah, but it's not the name of the song. Let's see how the rest of this goes and then I'll decide.

No, that, no, that counts. Fuck you. That counts. Okay. Anyway. Number three, people are clamoring for tickets to see Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey, which, believe it or not, is based on a very old book, how many minutes long is this film?

Why would I know that? This feels really silly. Why would I know that? A172, B-169, C-174, D-171, E-69. I don't like that you tried to distract me twice with the number 69 because you know I'm immature. That makes me think that it's B-169 minutes because you were trying to distract me. But my gut is telling me to go with D 171. So I'm going with D 171.

It's incorrect. It is A 172. Suck my ass. Number four, NFL training camp is officially underway for all 32 teams as of this week. In 2023, Jason was involved in a training camp fight. When the Eagles played against which team. See the Cleveland Browns. Sorry, that's incorrect.

It is B, Indianapolis cults. Fuck you. This is going great. I'm pretty sure it already won. You did. Do you want me to keep going? I think for fun. You like that I'm getting them all wrong? Yes, that was the intention. I can't wait to make a pop quiz for you. How about that? Let's do it. Interesting.

Number five, new Philadelphia 76 star LeBron James has won four NBA championships, but one of his biggest accomplishments is giving the world this famous meme. what exact original text goes on this image to create the meme. Something about living the dream. What is it? Smiling through it all. I can't believe this is my life. Yeah, basically the same thing. I definitely would have gotten that right if it counted.

Anyway, whatever. Six. It sure has been hot this summer. What two measurements below combined to make up the heat indexes? value used by the National Weather Service. A, humidity, B, UV index, C, swampass index. That's definitely one of them. D, temperature or e sunlight direction. I'm going D temperature. And I'm going to go heat index value. I'm going to go a humidity. That is correct. Okay. Seven. Sure.

to be summer blockbuster spider man brand new day comes out tomorrow july 31st name the name a single actor in this picture besides tom holland or zandaya so it's fucked up that first of all you took the only two and second that you think that i know who else is in this movie now i know you don't know that's why it's a question so that i get the minutes you know mm-hmm i'm trying to think i feel like saw the press tour stuff. Nope. Got nothing. Literally nothing.

Cool. Shout out to Sadie Sink, John Bernthal, Mark Ruffalo. But, you know, it doesn't matter because you didn't get it. So. Okay. Oh, Lord Jesus. Hasn't this died and gone away yet?

Hasn't it? Number eight, the Love Island USA finale, premiered to record-breaking rating. this summer with fan favorite couple, Trinity and someone winning it all. A. Braxton, B, Paxton, C, Bryson, D. Bryce, E. Jason Daniel. Well, I know it wasn't Jason Daniel. Because he's on this love island. I'm kidding. It was a joke. It's a bad joke. I'm phoning a friend. Char, I need help with something. That's not, that made his sound way more serious than it is. I'm doing a pop quiz on the podcast. Who won the Love Island USA this season? Brinity. Because that's Trinity and Bryce. Thank you so much for your great answer. I love it. Thank you so much.

Are you? Okay. I'll see you in five minutes. Okay, bye. That would be D. Bryce, because they're Brinity. Bryce and Trinity together. That's their couple name. That's their shipped name and their Trinity. And Bryce, that's who won. Did. Nailed it. You got it. Yes, I did. Did I nail it or did Charlie? Whatever. I got two right. Okay. Two and a half if you want to count the grease debacle of 26. Thank you for reminding me. I got three right. Suck my ass. Okay. Bye. Um, do you get 63 minutes? Awesome. Thanks.

Great. You're not welcome. And that's it for this episode. I'm not going to lie. You can find even more clips from my longer episode recording on my YouTube channel on more shit Monday. Follow us on social media at NGL with Kylie for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.

Not going to lie is a Wave original brought to you by Allstate. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in. Wave.