Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce - Kylie on Kids Table Hot Takes, Sweatpants on Thanksgiving & Jason's Fried Turkey Incident | Ep. 46
Episode Date: November 25, 2025Kylie’s back with her first-ever Thanksgiving Special episode of Not Gonna Lie brought to you by Amazon! And congratulations Real Ones, we somehow convinced her to do another solo episode!!! Kylie k...icks things off by sharing why Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday and also reacts to being listed as the No. 2 top new show of 2025 (4:15), second only to Good Hang with Amy Poehler, a place we’ll GLADLY accept. She also gives The Other Podcast a shout out for their spot on the charts! Then, in the latest edition of “You Know What’s F*cked Up?” Kylie goes on an all-time rant about the disrespect for Thanksgiving in this country (6:10)! She is firmly against Christmas taking away from Thanksgiving’s shine too early and let us know how the holidays are celebrated in the Kelce house. And it’s actually a “You Know What’s F*cked Up?” double feature because Kylie also gives us an incredible rant about wearing “hard pants” on holidays in your own home. After that, Kylie gives us her newest list of Dos & Don’ts around the holiday, highlighting her takes on kids tables (11:20), what her kids WILL eat, turkey trots and rooting for the Chiefs – NOT the Cowboys (12:26). She then answers a few “Ask Me *Some* Things” questions from the Real Ones about all things Thanksgiving, including who cooks and carves the turkey (20:35), what her first Thanksgiving with Jason was like and plays a game of “F*ck, Marry, Kill” Thanksgiving dinner edition (24:44). Kylie then gets to “Doomscroll of the Week” where she highlights one of the funniest comment sections on a baking video that literally brings her to tears (28:30). She also shouts out the bakers in her own family. Also, Kylie gives us her thoughts on the phenomenon that is “cuffing season" (33:52). Kylie also answers a few more Real One questions about the run time of the episodes when you listen on 2x speed, the origins of Queen Emma (41:30) and her thoughts on gender neutral names for her girls (44:17). Kylie then ends the special episode on a Thanksgiving Pop Culture Pop Quiz prepared by Queen Emma… (45:47) Make sure you tune into More Sh*t Monday on the Not Gonna Lie YouTube channel for even more exclusive clips from Kylie’s solo Thanksgiving special! And while you’re there, stick around until TUESDAY because FAFO Ep. 2 drops at 9am ET on 12/2! You won’t want to miss it! Happy Thanksgiving Real Ones! We are thankful for YOU! . . . Purchase NGL Merch: www.nglkylie.com Support the Show: Amazon: Shop Amazon’s Black Friday Week deals now at https://Amazon.com WhatsApp: For the best group chat experiences like The Chat, it’s time for WhatsApp!ZipRecruiter: Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://ZipRecruiter.com/NGL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Not going to lie, you might hear a lot of sounds in the background in today's episode.
I'm trying to train a studio dog to be a studio dog and not quite nailing it yet.
Let's get this podcast started.
Welcome to our first ever Thanksgiving special episode of Not Gonna Lie,
a wave original brought to by Amazon.
I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey.
The best Thanksgiving food is green bean casserole, period.
Not up for discussion.
Everybody knows that.
Go Chiefs.
Fuck the Cowboys.
And the best Thanksgiving episode of Friends is definitely, I think it's Rachel's trifle.
I think it is.
I feel like a close second is when Joey wears the Santa maternity pants.
Anyway, happy Thanksgiving real ones or at least happy Tuesday before Thanksgiving.
And remember, you're really going to want to your turkey.
You can blur that again.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
love it because it has nothing to do with gifts. It has to do with the things that you are
thankful for in your life. And you get good ass food and some green bean casserole. And to be
clear, there have been times specifically when I was pregnant where I made green bean cassero
outside of a holiday. But really the only two holidays where it's acceptable to make green bean
casserole is Thanksgiving and Christmas. And outside of that, when the fuck are you making green
casserole. I've consistently said that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday since I was maybe in
middle school. Like, I've been tuned in on this for a long time. But like, you know, I'm only 24,
so middle school wasn't that long ago. You got it. Okay. Coming up on today's Thanksgiving special,
you're getting the solo episode you all asked for. I hope you're happy. But jokes on you. Now you're
trapped with me for the next nope no no here we go again let me read it the way emma wrote it in
the rundown and then i'm going to tell you what the fuck i meant okay you're getting this solo episode
you all asked for i hope you're happy but the joke's on you now you're trapped with me for the next
60 minutes then emma wrote gotcha while i rant about food and random shit about my kids good luck
good luck to you emma good luck to you getting 60 minutes approved now within all this ranting i'm
going to talk about thanksgiving in the kelsey house my stance on hard pants during holidays
i'll answer a bunch of the real ones questions uh in ask me some things and apparently queen emma
has a pop quiz planned plus we'll keep our eyes peeled for any surprise cameos people were very
intrigued about the squirrel situation it's a gloomy day i don't see any out there and
we have our studio dog so we'll see what they think about that who knows it guys it was so cute and
there's a very large window next to me here and it jumped right up on the chair that's framed out
perfectly in the window it was do you want me to take a picture from this viewpoint emma's i can see emma
behind the camera taking a picture look it's right on that pillow i want a i would love an arrow to this
pillow, please. Whatever. It's fine. Now, an NGL announcement. Next Tuesday, December 2nd,
we're dropping the second episode of FAAFO exclusively on YouTube. So please subscribe to the
NGL YouTube. You will not want to miss this one. This is an episode that's very near and dear to
my heart. I feel it deep in my soul and I think you're going to enjoy it. I'm not going to tell you
exactly where I fucked around, but I will say it was basically in my own backyard. There was chuffing
involved a very like if you know you know and i picked up a non-human turd i didn't raw dog at this time i
didn't because i was given a glove follow us at nGL with kiley for the official announcement soon
and next up an absolutely absurd edition of places kiley has no business being because this past week
not going to lie with kiley kelsey had absolutely no business being ranked the number
two top new show of
2025 on Apple podcast charts.
We were number two
behind Good Hang with Amy Poehler.
They're the top new show
of the year. And I
cannot emphasize enough.
I speak for everyone on our
NGL team. We will gladly
take second place to Amy Poehler
all fucking day.
All day.
I can't even
I can't even fathom
that.
like being on the list crazy being second like being right next to we're we're basically we're
basically touching amy polar we're basically friends i think that's how that's called girl math so shout
out to good hang and all the other top shows including the other podcast jason and travis's episode with
taylor was the number three most listened to podcast episode of the entire year that had released a little
earlier in the year, I firmly believe they would have, like the turkey. Let's be clear,
that episode has been out for maybe three months. And I firmly believe that had it been on the
internet earlier in the year, it would have blown everyone else out of the water. I mean,
to be clear, it did. It fucked up some records. But that's because
When you got three amazing people just getting together to chitty chat, that's what happens.
Yeah.
Squad.
All right, moving on.
It's time for my favorite segment.
You know what's fucked up?
Hey, you know what's fucked up?
The utter disrespect for Thanksgiving in this country.
That's right.
I said it.
Let Thanksgiving have her moment.
Don't you skip over Thanksgiving right on to Christmas.
Cut it the fuck out.
honestly if i have to see one more person putting up their christmas tree before thanksgiving even
fucking gets here i swear to god i'm gonna flip the thanksgiving table no i won't no i won't
because i'm not taking down the green bean casserole because y'all are fucking nuts
here's the deal last night why it said to me can we watch home alone and i said next week
The only movie in our house that has broken the barrier is the Granch.
And everybody knows that because I'm not pissing off, Benny.
Ah, that one scares me.
She demands the Grinch.
We watch The Granch.
Okay.
Then I love The Grinch because it gives the new Grinch.
I love the old Grinch with Jim Carrey.
I also love the new Grinch.
I think it's fun.
The soundtrack's fire.
But here's the deal.
It is the only holiday movie that has.
broken out of. Now, if you want to watch Christmas movies until New Year's, fine. You are not
watching it before Thanksgiving in our house unless I'm not home. Maybe my husband would probably do it.
He's a little unhinged like that, but I'm not doing it. The only acceptable decorations to do
before Thanksgiving that relate to Christmas, Christmas lights on your house. Because if I could,
have a mirror round. I love that shit so much. I love when it's dark out and there's just like this
light glow. Now, if you put up Christmas lights on the outside of your house and they are that
bright light LED blue, get fucked. There should be a light glow. It should be warm and a little bit yellow.
Everybody knows that. Now, we are not lining our walkway with the candy canes before Thanksgiving.
Do you see a theme here?
Cut it out.
Stop it.
Now, Queen Anne is asking the rundown when we decorate for Christmas at our house.
It depends.
Guys, I am so type C that some years I will have lit garland on our mantelpiece.
And other years, it never sees the light of day.
Some years, we have stockings hung over the fireplace.
and other years, there are nowhere to be seen.
I am very inconsistent.
One year, oh my God, it was so bad.
I should look to see exactly what it is.
I'll send you a picture.
There was a one year that I think we left the stockings that we hung up over the
man, like on the mantle.
I'm pretty sure we left the stockings up until the following.
Christmas.
I don't, I might, at the very least, it was until summer.
That's what you get with me. And while I'm already fired up, you know what else is
fucked up? Wearing hard pants on Thanksgiving. What are we doing? What are we doing?
No, hard pants can get fucked. Let me tell you what hard pants are, okay? Any pants that have
belt loops. That's pretty easy. I feel like I just covered all hard pants.
Wow, I just, I wasn't even prepared to do that explanation.
If a pair of pants has belt loops, get fucked.
You can fuck right on off.
I'm out.
I, most likely maximum, maximum effort I am putting in on a holiday that we are hosting.
Maximum effort.
mascara, change out of my pajamas.
I've worn sweatpants for holidays multiple times, and I stand by that decision.
There is no reason in your own house, even if you're going to someone else's house,
what are we doing?
Let's like sit on the couch and be cozy.
Why are we going to sit there in our jeans and then like have to unbutton them?
And then if you don't unbutton them, if you don't unbutton them, what were you doing?
What did you eat?
no let me be clear i think it's so cute when other people do a holiday outfit kids in cute
little dresses all of it i think it's adorable i love when other people do it i'm not prepared
to invest that much effort unless my hand was forced now yeah no i'm not doing it i'm not doing it
unless I have to.
The general vibe at the Kelsey House for Thanksgiving,
there is a kids' table at Thanksgiving,
and here's where I'll probably get a little judgment.
And I'm okay with it.
When we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner,
I will probably put the kids table in the living room
where it is like we can see it from the diner room table.
And I will put on the TV.
there will come a time where my kids will sit at the table and indulge in holiday meal
in full, right? They'll sit at the table, they'll be engaged in conversation. They will actually eat
the things presented to them. It's okay that it's not right now. And also, selfishly, I want to eat my food.
so how about that now all this heated thanksgiving talk actually leads me perfectly into some more
of my do's and don'ts of thanksgiving brought to you by amazon shop black friday week deals now
number one on my list do pace yourself and do savor each bite this day comes but once a year
which is exactly why i'm going to sit my kids in front of the tv so that i can maybe enjoy four bites
before I get asked for something, like dessert.
Two, don't pressure others into participating in your turkey trots, turkey burns or whatever
the fuck else you want to do.
I love that for you, truly.
But I don't need to earn my Thanksgiving dinner.
And neither do you, really.
Now, do I love physical activity?
Yes.
But I can do it on Friday.
or Wednesday.
That's all.
You got it.
I believe in you.
Number three, do play some backyard football or watch family and friends play.
Football on Thanksgiving go hand in hand.
You're supposed to have football on in the background so that people can be watching that while
they're talking and mingling and chopping and doing things.
Speaking of Thanksgiving football, number four, don't root for the Cowboys and do
do root for the chiefs.
Let's go Uncle Trave.
First of all, congratulations to Travis on the franchise touchdown record.
For those of you who don't understand what an accomplishment that is,
we're talking about that.
That stat means that every other player that has played for the chief's organization
has never had a touchdown record for the chiefs.
as much as Travis has now scored.
So Travis now owns the record
of how many touchdowns he has made
for the Chiefs franchise in his career.
So that is an unbelievable feat,
something that will be very difficult
to get dethroned from knock on wood.
Oh, that was questionable.
Sorry, Trav.
Sorry, Trav.
I fixed it.
But seriously, very impressive.
And also,
I'm so sick of the idea that the Cowboys are America's team so they can kiss my ass.
And you guessed it, get fucked.
And hey, do make the game fun.
Maybe you eat a turkey leg every time Travis scores a touchdown.
Huh.
Maybe take a call.
Maybe you could, maybe you could, um, I can't say that.
we'll bleep it maybe you could take a shot every time also speaking of football do root for the birds
on the black friday game because we'll be there maybe i you know what who knows maybe i'll be in a
turkey coma but as always go birds go birds also the other podcast is having a tailgate at the
link on friday and i made a plea on social media that my husband
take me with him. So as long as I can take a Thanksgiving leftover sandwich to go,
I'm there. This one is more for the tiny humans at Thanksgiving. Number five, don't yuck someone
else's yum, aka don't talk shit about the green bean casserole, the cranberry sauce, any of it.
Don't you dare. Tell me that the food is gross. Okay? We're about to cut up some turkey
and try and lie to our children and tell them that it's chicken.
I know I'm not the only house doing that.
We also call pork chops in our house chicken.
We have pork chops, turkey, and actually chicken that we call chicken.
So, yes, the girls will need a reminder not to yuck people's yum
because they'll eat approximately three things.
that are served. And when I say three things that are served, I mean, each of my three children
who are currently, like, eating meals independently, will each pick a single thing that they
will eat, aka three things total amongst three children. Someone will eat some turkey. I can guarantee
that. Benny might eat green bean casserole because homegirl loves a green bean. She follows after her
mom on that one. What else? Oh, they will eat some of the cheese board.
but a lot of that ends up being them making crackers for other people to eat,
which is actually a disgusting practice.
Someone will eat macaroni and cheese.
I can almost guarantee that.
They will eat buttered rolls.
I can say that's a three-for-three situation.
Now, are they at least one, Wyatt, will eat the butter off of the roll,
and it is a toss-up of whether or not.
not, she eats the actual role. So she should probably just skip the middleman and give her a pat of
butter. Benny will probably eat cranberry sauce because she's a little goofy like that. She's,
I'm telling you, she's, we share a lot of foods. When I eat salads in front of her, she goes,
is that salad? Can I have some? So she's built different, that one. They will tell me after they
tell me that they're full while their plates still have food all over them, they will proceed
to put their plate in the sink, immediately come to the side of me and say, can we have
dessert? What's for dessert? What are we having for dessert? Are we going to have dessert? Is ice cream
for dessert? Can I have a mini cone for dessert? Are we having cake? Are we having pie? I don't like
pie. Can I have dessert? So there's that. Because, you know, their dinner's stomach is full,
but their dessert stomach empty. Number six, if your Thanksgiving dinner combo takes
a contentious turn, do redirect to something we can all get behind. Okay? Cute dogs. Yes?
The musical stylings of Wicked 2. And of course, you can always just interrupt the conversation
with the good, go birds. That'll break it up. Don't leave early to go camp out in front of some store.
We have Amazon at home now. Shop for all your gifts while you watch the Cowboys, hopefully fall flat on their
faces. Amazon Black Friday deals are live now, not just on Friday. And if the chaos in your
house doesn't slow down until the weekend, Cyber Monday deals start Saturday too. So basically,
it's just deals, deals, deals, deals, and it comes to your front door. Guys, here's what we need
to do. Okay. For those of you who need to buy gifts for we humans, okay, do it now. Do it right now.
do it now okay while you lay in bed fill up your cart check out it's going to come right to your
front door and then you can just store it away that does it for you know what's fucked up
and my do's and don'ts of thanksgiving brought to you by amazon moving on as is tradition in
these solo episodes let's get to some of the real ones most burning questions in a thanksgiving
edition of Ask Me Some Things, because Ask Me Anything is far too open-ended.
Yep, that's right.
You guys needed boundaries.
Ask Me Some Things is brought to you by ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.
Speaking of hiring and really jobs, around the Thanksgiving holiday, you know that you're
cooking, taking care of your kids, working, taking care of everything else in life.
It's a lot.
Way more than a full-time job.
So I want to shout out to all of the parents, grandparents, caretakers, guardians.
who are just hustling and getting the job done.
Cheers to you, real ones.
Now, first question is from Rotman Jenny.
Who cooks the turkey and who carves it?
Depends who you ask.
Typically, my mom and I cook the turkey, and honestly, I feel like my mom carves it.
Jason has cooked turkeys the last two years.
he is in charge of frying the turkey.
He tried his very best.
But if you ask him if the whole thing was safe to eat,
the answer might have been no.
he looked cute doing it though you know uh jason jason doesn't cook often so honestly another situation
of when he tries it almost pisses me off because he's good at everything but he did come up
a little short two years in a row on the cook time so good news is little little little
Lisa and I always do a standard oven-baked turkey, oven-roasted turkey, and so we did have
backup. Next question from Bruceau Brucker. Are you able to get all together on actual Thanksgiving
due to the football games? No. We often, over the last, I don't know, however many years,
we have often shifted a holiday, just one or two days. And that's okay.
Okay. We will sadly not see Travis for Thanksgiving this year because he will be busy playing.
But we do love to make sure that we make an effort, if possible, to see each other around the holidays.
So it's a little bit difficult when people are moving all over the place.
And since everyone is not all in the same area, it gets difficult.
But we make sure that over the holiday season that we carve out time,
to see each other.
It's really, it's a funny thing to think about the fact that when you're watching a football
game that is a staple on Thanksgiving, you're not really thinking about the thousand people
who have to work that day to make sure that the broadcast happens, that the stadium opens,
that there's concessions happening.
All of those people are taking time away from their families on the holiday to
make sure that everyone can enjoy this football game and sort of lean into the tradition.
So shout out to all the NFL families whose holidays are disrupted.
But the good news is that I'm sure that everyone will find time to celebrate and get together
with their families the same way that we have over the years.
From Kristen and 16, first Thanksgiving with my BF.
so exciting how was your and jason's first and any advice i genuinely have no idea i straight up have
no clue guys i had i've had i've pushed out four human beings that means four times my brain
has left my body kirsten i'm so excited that you're having your first thanksgiving with your bf
make sure that you tell your boyfriend that you're thankful for him if you are and if you're not get the
hell out of there. You know what I'm saying?
Happy holidays.
Next up from the Gerns.
Fuck Merry Kill.
Thanksgiving dinner edition.
Okay.
Here's my logic on this.
All right.
We're leaving mashed potatoes.
We're leaving mac and cheese.
We're leaving them out of this running because they're like a year-round food.
Like you could really have mashed potatoes with a steak and asparagus for dinner one night.
Or you could have mac and cheese and pulled pork and that for dinner one night.
So like those very much.
live outside of Thanksgiving. And although they are phenomenal, and I would love to include them
in this, I can't because they live outside of this. So I'm going to go with, oh no, oh no,
should we go strictly Thanksgiving foods, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, stuffing? Oh, no.
I'm taking this very seriously, like far more serious than it needs to be. And I feel, I feel
invested now
I'm in a
merry green bean casserole
I'm going to fuck the stuffing
merry green bean casserole
fuck stuffing
kill cranberry sauce that's not jellied
nailed it
loophole
and that does it for ask me
some things Thanksgiving edition
And brought to you by ZipRecruiter, I'm going to ask, oh, I'm not going to ask, but you guys are.
I'm going to answer even more of your questions in part two.
But first, some messages from me.
This episode is brought to you by Amazon.
Amazon has everything for everyone on your list this year.
I know that I will be adding all of the things to my Amazon cart because I can do it as I think
of it.
And I don't even have to check out right away.
I can just put it in my cart and make sure that as the thoughts come, I can add them in
there, and they're going to come right to my front door. And that is the kind of support I need
during the holiday season. And with Amazon Black Friday week happening right now, you can save up to
40% on the gifts everyone wants, like the latest toys and hottest housewares and the gifts
they need, like new clothes for these tiny humans of mine who keep getting less and less tiny.
I don't like it. I am very big into Black Friday week because I love a deal. I love a deal so much.
and it is the motivation I need to get ahead on my holiday shopping.
So I'm 100% down for Black Friday Week.
Once again, Real Ones, you can save up to 40% on gifts right now during Amazon's Black Friday Week.
Shop Black Friday Week deals now.
As the Real Ones know, I've had a lot of different jobs over the years.
I was a cashier in the local grocery store.
I was a coach.
I still am a coach.
I was an instructional assistant.
Macbar manager, babysitter. I was, you get it. I had a lot of jobs. And now I'm somehow
considered a podcaster and a YouTuber. Wow, life comes at you fast. If you're an employer looking
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And we're back, and so is Doom Scroll the week.
And shocker, it's a special Thanksgiving edition of Doom Scroll.
Starting with this baking TikTok that proves TikTok isn't just for videos.
I feel so strongly about this.
I really want to nail this point, okay?
TikTok, you are TikTok wrong if you're just laying there scrolling, scrolling, scrolling,
you're tick-tocking wrong, okay?
And this is how I'm going to prove it to you.
Someone innocently posted this video of cookies she was struggling to bake with the text.
Why are my cookies still dough?
In parentheses, it says,
cooked it for 11 minutes, then it was still soft. So I did eight minutes and it's still soft.
She's pinching it and it straight up looks like Play-Doh. Okay? First of all, your oven's broken.
Okay? I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you. But in this instance, okay, you have to
sprint to the comments.
You got to get in those comments so fast,
your freaking hair blows back, okay?
Let me just, let me read a few, okay?
What did you use to cook them?
A heated argument?
Girl baked these with the heat of the moment.
Did you try?
Did you try?
Did you try turning the oven?
on home girl baked these with warm regards 15 degrees for 350 minutes question mark oh this one this is what
got me this same thing happened to me
Your mom.
I'm crying.
I'm crying.
Your mom has to replace the light bulb in the easy bag.
Oh, my God.
Guys, actual tears.
Hold on.
I'm not done.
Oh, God.
Put the cookies in the comment.
section because it's roasting in here. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's shit is fucking phenomenal.
Guys, if you are not reading the comments, you're doing it wrong. This is how you should
tick top. You should be deep in the comments, okay? Oh, it's so good.
Queen Emma said, it's the holiday.
Should we get honest about your baking skills?
Probably.
What can I bake?
I can bake chocolate chip cookies and not the ones that are like break and bake.
I can actually like make a dough and bake cookies.
I am.
excuse me excuse me those presents aren't for you i know there will be some for you i'm sure
the big man will bring you something you're going to lay right there thank you i can bake
chocolate chip cookies i can bake funfetti cupcakes i can bake oh my the one thing that i make
the most is banana chocolate chip muffins or banana chocolate chip bread. We do have well-known
bakers in the family. Donna's dinner rolls, big hit. Grandma Mary had great chocolate chip cookies.
Taylor makes all banging sourdough loaf. I mean, it's so good. And Pop-Tarts. Yeah. That's even more
why I don't need to lean into being a baker because it's it's covered. So I'm just going to keep
enjoying what it's made. It's fine. Queen Em is asking, do I want to give baking a try and let
TikTok comments do their worst? Sure. Absolutely. Let's do it. I will share. I did not bake a cake,
but there was one year for, I want to say it was Ellie's birthday. She asked for a blueie cake.
and so I got a Wegman's chocolate cake and I put blue on it and by put bluey on it,
I mean I mixed vanilla icing that comes in a tub up with some food coloring and then
piped it on with a plastic bag.
Maybe we'll post that and you guys can do your worst.
Okay, we'll put that on our social media.
When I showed it to my children, one of them said, it's a bunny.
So I've already been roasted.
How much worse can it get?
Great. Let's try it.
And our next scroll, according to my TikTok algorithm and my Gen Z nieces, Thanksgiving is in the thick of cuffing season.
And if you don't know what that means, Queen Emma the clip, please.
This is exactly why they tell you to get you a little, a little something, something, a little bay, a little booskey, a little whatever the kids be saying, fine, fine shit.
because when the temperatures drop
and you go home
and you're in your bed
and you don't got nobody to cuddle in.
This is, this is, I'm telling you,
when you're single, when the springtime comes
and the summertime comes,
it doesn't even cross your mind.
You're like, yes, I'm living.
As soon as it gets cold, you're like,
I wish I could cuddle up with somebody.
This is all accurate information.
That was very well put.
Uh, I nailed cuffing season and I'm going to tell you why.
The idea of cuddling in the cooler months is because you want to be nice and cozy and warm
cuddled up next to somebody.
I married a human furnace.
Okay?
That man runs hot and I'm not just talking about the way he looks.
It is absurd how warm he is as a human being.
So I fucking nailed this.
I nailed this so hard.
I think that if I asked Jason about cuffing season,
that he would know exactly what it is.
I feel like he would understand that.
I do think it's funny that people consistently agree that cuffing season is the fall.
That if you're not in a relationship by the fall,
the clock's ticking.
But full disclosure, don't seven.
don't do that ladies we can get heated blankets okay we can get a heated blanket we don't need
we don't need to settle don't do that don't do that plus when it comes to the holidays think
about it like this if you're going into this holiday season single as a pringle this is what
I'm going to tell you no one's going to buy a better gift for you than you
because you know exactly what you want and you won't be spending the money on somebody else to get
them something that you think they want so then you can just splurge on yourself doesn't that sound
kind of nice does doesn't it get yourself a heated blanket you'll be nice and cozy and cozy
you can get you can get a cozy pair slippers and then you can watch all the chick flick holiday
movies and call the girlies to come over.
Perfect.
Shush!
Why are you barking at a fucking keyboard?
You're losing your studio dog privileges!
Do you need to go outside?
You're being crazy.
Okay, hold on.
And that's it for Doom Scroll the Week.
Moving on, it's another week.
Another ridiculous question I was asked by one of my children that I didn't know the
answer to, so let's get to the bottom of it.
Tiny Human question of the week brought to you by perplexity. Everybody knows that my kids are at the
age where they ask a lot of questions. A lot of it ends up as an initial question and then a lot of
why. Why? Why? But this week ahead of the holiday, Ellie was getting into the Thanksgiving Day spirit
and she wanted to make sure that we had plenty of turkeys to decorate the house. So we went online,
as we typically do, to print out a bunch of pictures of turkeys that she could color in and add as
decoration to the house. And as we were doing it, she said to me, mom, how do you tell if it's a
boy turkey or a girl turkey? I didn't have an answer. I genuinely didn't. I had some
assumptions, but I wanted to make sure that I was clear. My best guess was, typically in the animal
kingdom, the males are more flamboyant. It's more of a display because they need to impress the
ladies. So, but I still, Ellie's my animal lover. So I wanted to make sure that I gave her a
legitimate answer. Let's get her the actual one. So Queen Emma, can you please pull up perplexity
and ask, how do you tell the difference between a boy turkey and a girl turkey? To tell the
difference between a boy turkey called a Tom, I had no idea. And a girl turkey called a hen,
you can look for several key physical and behavioral traits. The easiest way is to examine the
color and features on the head and feathers. Males are more robust and distinctive traits
with distinctive traits not seen in females. Okay, so it is very much what I thought. The beard.
We know we love a beard. Most tombs have a bristle-like beard, a long filament protruding
from the chest. Some hens may also have a small beard, but
it's rare. This is perfect. I can go back to Ellie now and make sure that she knows the difference
between a male turkey and a female turkey. Super helpful. That's it for tiny humans question of the
week brought to you by perplexity. I'll be right back with some answers to the real ones non-thanksgiving
questions and ask me some things part two. Real ones! I hope you got to witness our NFL
piping hot tea alt broadcast group chat with Caleb Herron during the Chiefs game over the weekend on
WhatsApp, it was incredible. To be able to do it with people asking us live questions related to
football, made it extra fun. I don't know that there's a better way to spend your Sunday than
enjoying football. And specifically with friends, that's always the best. Caleb, hilarious.
I don't, I mean, I would say like top 10, maybe top five funniest people on the internet. I love his
takes and it was incredibly comical the whole time. Straight laughs. I'm also a big fan of the polls
in WhatsApp. Queen Emma was posting the gifts. Also, the video notes are very fun. I'm so glad
Caleb and I were able to bring this piping hot tea NFL broadcast idea to life. Thanks to WhatsApp and
the chat. And I think that we're going to have to do it again. How about that for even more real ones
and so true fans.
WhatsApp is the ultimate second screen experience for any live game.
And for the best group chat experiences like the one Caleb and I just had for the Chiefs game,
it's time for WhatsApp.
All right.
Let's get right back to more of your Ask Me Some Things questions.
The first batch were about Thanksgiving, but these are about everything else.
First up from Judge Books by the cover, I listen to this podcast on two-time speed while running,
so a 90-minute episode is a 44.
five minute episode. If it is less than that, I run less. Is that what you want, Kylie,
America exercising less? Yeah. Next question. Actually, I, I'm on record saying I don't run
unless it's from something or for something. So the running is hard to get me to buy in on.
So, oh, lovely. Here we go.
A note from the desk of Queen Emma.
Because you know we love those.
Hey, girl, no offense, but this person might really have a point here.
In some ways, a cool 60 is actually only dirty 30.
If you really think about it.
Ha ha, some food for thought.
Okay, bye, love you.
Asshole.
No.
Absolutely not.
Next question is something we surprisingly get a lot.
lot. Who is Queen Emma? Great question. For those of you who have not been here from the beginning
or heard this explanation, I will give it to you one more time. The other podcast has an executive
producer who was called out on the show as an intern. He was referenced multiple times as an
intern. Eventually, they did share his name. He then became intern Brandon. Okay? I started out this
podcast, making sure that it was known that my producer, Queen Emma, was not going to be
reduced, see it? Do you see her? That she was not going to be reduced to an intern when she is a
producer. So this is Queen Emma. She's my producer. My favorite part is when we meet real ones
out in the wild, and they will be like, oh, I've listened to the podcast. And I'm like, great,
that's Queen Emma. And you know what Queen Emma does? Hi. I swear to God, every time she's like,
in her head, get fucked, get fucked, Kylie, get fucked, get fucked. I was minding my business back here.
Get fucked. Is that right, Emma?
Yeah. It's pretty accurate. Okay. Queen Emma,
I've made threats to her that she will be on camera more because she will because I'm sick
of talking about her like she's a mythical creature. She is a mythical creature. But good news,
Queen Emma is actually in the room with me right now. So Queen Emma, you can get your ass over
here. Look at how happy she is to be over here. Hey, everybody. Hey, friends. I dare you to say
Cool 60 while you're over here. You're close enough for me to punch you. Watch yourself.
Queen Emma is not here all the time. But,
But sometimes we're in the same room, which is kind of fun.
And Queen Emma stuck with me.
Thanks, Queen Emma, for coming into the shop.
I know you really wanted to do that.
No problem.
You know what?
Misery loves company, guys.
And if I have to be dragged in front of a camera, so does Emma.
Okay.
And this next question appears to be pure rage bait.
What's with the boy names?
I'll tell you what's with the boy's names.
We, my husband and I, liked gender-neutral names for our daughters.
We picked the name Wyatt before we knew the gender of the baby.
Obviously, she was a girl, and we had already decided on the name Wyatt.
We decided we liked it as a boy or as a girl.
Elliot's nickname is Ellie, so you can...
The part that I take issue with on people having an issue with our names is,
that I actually didn't ask. I didn't ask what you thought about my kids' names. My husband and I
agreed on the names. We like them. You honestly, you should try naming a human being. It's not
easy. And so, yeah, I'm good. I will say there's occasionally I will come in contact with
someone face to face who will say to me, oh, Wyatt, is that a family name? Because they're trying
to find a saving grace in the idea that my husband and I picked Wyatt for a little girl.
And you know what? The theme of this episode, besides giving thanks, might be getting fucked because
they can get fucked. How about that? And that does it for Ask Me Some Things, Part two. Now, the last thing,
before I wrap up this solo episode,
pop quizzes have sort of become a thing around here.
We've done animal trivia,
gen alpha slang,
pop culture trivia twice with Jason.
For our special episode,
Queen Emma has prepared a Thanksgiving pop culture quiz.
I hope I'm going to ace this one,
but honestly, who the fuck knows?
So here we go.
Now, once again,
I have a stack of note cards here with me
with the answers to check my work as I go.
Here we go.
Number one, the 99th annual Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade will debut a brand new float this year
featuring this trendy yet creepy toy. I don't even have to read the options on this one,
genuinely. Number A is a Furby, B is a Tomogachi, C is a giant one-eyed cabbage patch doll named
Doreen, and D is a Laboooo. As soon as I read creepy and trendy, it is a D Laboooooo. It has to be.
It's D is a Labibu. I can guarantee you, we will.
will not be watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade when the Lubbubu comes on the screen
because Ellie will lose her shit. And I don't blame her. Okay. The iconic SNL music video
back home ballers about young adults going home for Thanksgiving only to have their parents
do everything for them again is an institution. Name a single SNL cast member or guest star who
appears in this sketch. Shit. Shit. Okay. I'm going to talk this out. Queen Emma calling this an
iconic SNL music video and saying that it's an institution makes me think that it's older.
But she just winced.
I'm going to go, one of the safest guesses I could possibly go here.
I'm going to go not that old.
I'm going to go not old, not old.
I'm not going to go too far back.
I'm going to go ahead and guess Tina Fey.
Amy Poehler.
Am I thinking, am I thinking too far back or too far back?
Pete Davidson.
mother fucker i'm going to take the all because if i keep guessing it's just going to oh god uh some options
here cameron diaz kate mckinan leslie jones i was i was not going to get that right so number
three here we go here we go here we go i have faith in myself right now and i haven't even
gotten into the question i've just seen the first words number three new girl easy whatever it is
Had Thanksgiving-themed episodes in five of its seven seasons.
In season two, Jess attempts to, quote,
parent-trap her divorced parents for the holiday.
Who plays Jess's mom?
Easy.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
The options that I had were A, Lois, McDevitt,
B, Jamie Lee Curtis, C, Sarah Jessica Parker, or D. Donna Kelsey.
That was very nice of you to eliminate two of those options for me.
But I knew it.
I didn't even need options.
Number four, turkeys typically have a flappy.
fleshy hanging flap of skin on their throat that becomes more pronounced when they're trying
to attract a mate. You tried to get me on this. You tried to get me on this. And I respects it.
What is that, what is this thingy called? Okay, so I want to point out that Queen Emma is not
talking about the little flap that goes over their, over their beak. She's talking about this
situation
it is called a waddle
I'm going with waddle
Ellie said it
Ellie and I were literally talking about it the other day
and I'm going with waddle
a waddle
oh I was thinking it was not spelled like that
because I haven't actually seen the word
but we were talking about a waddle
so that's wow. Number five
Speaking of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade,
not going to lie, has had four former guests participate in the parade,
name the one who did not participate.
Oh, God.
This is perfect.
I said, oh, God, and then I read a couple of the options,
and I think I can confidently say this.
And Emma is making it seem like I should not be this confident.
So there's that.
A, Brie Larson, B, Jennifer Hudson.
C, Avril Levine, D. Ed Sheeran, E. Kelly Clarkson.
I'm going to go with A. Bree Larson because there's a theme with the rest of these people and they were all musical talent.
I'm about to get fucked, aren't I?
D. Ed Sheeran.
Brey Larson was indeed a participant of the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade.
Number six, Thanksgiving weekend is a huge box office event.
Which of the following movies had the highest grossing opening weekend over Thanksgiving in cinema history?
This is hilarious.
Your options on this are hilarious.
A, Moana 2.
B, Frozen. C. D. Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo.
Or D. Avatar 6. Yep, we made another one.
So, D. Avatar 6, yep, we made another one. Doesn't exist.
Great. Now we're down to 3.
Mawanna 2, I don't think is it.
I'm going to go B frozen.
What?
It's A. Moana 2.
Really?
Wow.
Seven.
How many different Thanksgiving dinners did Lorelai and Rory go to in the Gilmore Girl
Season 3 episode titled Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving 4?
I don't even need to read the options four.
I literally just watched this episode.
You are trying to set me up for success here.
I don't know why.
Oh, because you're going to try and get more minutes.
You're an asshole.
Wow.
Eight, as any Philadelphian worth her soft pretzel salt knows,
Wawa famously has a hoagie called The Gobbler,
which was first introduced in 2005.
Name all five key components of the traditional Wawa Gobbler.
Bonus points if you name the most common add-on.
Shit. Gobbler consists of a roll. Cranberry. Stuffing, turkey, gravy.
Bonus points. The most common add-on is mayonnaise.
What? Okay, first of all, I got the key components correct. I did not get the bonus point.
Do people really put mashed potatoes on a sandwich?
Nobody's talking to you.
Literally no one's talking to you.
I need you to chill out.
I said Gobbler and Homegirl got all excited.
Same.
Number nine, the season eight Thanksgiving episode of Friends titled The One with the Rumor.
Guest starred this actor who also made an appearance on the other podcast this calendar year.
A. Leonardo DiCaprio, B, Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
C. Brad Pitt or D. Shaquille O'Neill. C. Brad Pitt. I can confidently say that. Yep. Brad Pitt. Nailed it. I love that I show you guys the answers. Like, you won't believe me that that's what's written on the card. Yeah, I said it. Number 10, name a single Thanksgiving-related song ever, just one.
Is there one?
Are there multiples?
No one's talking to you!
You have stuff in your beard.
Get yourself together!
I'm not talking to Jason.
Hmm.
You know who would know this?
My husband.
Okay.
Acceptable answers.
Does Adam Sandler really have a Thanksgiving song?
I should have guessed that.
The theme music from Charlie Brown,
Mashed Potatoes, USA.
Oh.
That makes sense.
We are family.
Okay.
This is all fair.
I'll call all those fair.
Final score is six out of ten.
That's 60%.
That's absolute trash.
Everybody knows that.
So we're going to try and do better next time.
That does it for my Thanksgiving pop
Culture Pop Quiz.
That also does it for our special solo episode of Not Gonna Lie.
You can find even more exclusive clips on my YouTube channel on Morship Monday.
I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.
Remember, a brand new episode of Fafo is coming out on Tuesday, December 2nd, exclusively on YouTube.
Please subscribe right now to the NGL YouTube channel so you don't miss it.
Follow Not Going to Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie, listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.
Not Gonna Lie is a Wave Original brought to you by Amazon.
Thanks again to The Real Ones for tuning in.
