Not Skinny But Not Fat - Bachelor Nation Deep Dive with Kate Casey

Episode Date: September 17, 2019

This week we dive deep into the Bachelor Nation world with Reality Life host and comedian Kate Casey. We discuss which former Bachelor contestants are the worst, who will last from this season of BIP, what future do we see for Tyler C, and why Hannah should have turned down DWTS. And Amanda asks the most important question of the century: Would you rather have sex with Dean in his Van or with Tyler C on Matt James’ couch? As Bachelor Nation experts, Amanda and Kate analyze the shit out of everything going down right now. This episode was brought to you by: Taking a new look at “you are what you eat,” comedian Dan Ahdoot brings listeners in on conversations about food, life, and more, with some of his most entertaining friends. Not your typical, holier-than-thou food podcast, Green Eggs and Dan is the type of food podcast you’d make with your friends around the table, roasting more than just the food. Launches August 7, 2019 – subscribe today. Woosh Beauty is for women who like makeup, but knows that makeup isn't life. So they made easy makeup that looks good. Get 30% off your entire order by heading to WooshBeauty.com and using promo code "NOTSKINNY" during checkout. The Not Skinny But Not Fat Podcast is produced by The Podglomerate.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is why I feel like I need to be a counselor on that show because I feel like the couples are going to come to me before they get the ticori ring and I just go through like a list of questions. Who did the other person vote for in the last election? Who here has a retirement plan? Who here has had a full physical in the last two years? This is not skinny but not fat and I'm your host, Amanda, here to bring you the latest in all. pop culture news, celebrity gossip, reality TV recaps, anything happening in Hollywood right now that I just can't keep my mouth shut about. This is Not Skinny but Not Fat.

If you're enjoying the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast, which I really hope you are and I'm assuming that's why you're here, then please go to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us. That is the most helpful and supportive and loving thing you can do for the podcast. So like I said, go to Apple Podcasts, rate at five stars, write a little titty-bitty, and let me know that you did. And I will give you a big virtual hug. Today I'm talking to Kate Casey from the podcast Reality Life with Kate Casey. She is a reality TV connoisseur.

and we really take a deep, deep dive into Bachelor Nation, what it's like for those stars to gain that instant fame, i.e. Tyler, uh, fucking Cameron, et cetera, et cetera. Everything that's happening on Bachelor in Paradise, we're nearing the end of the season and really waiting for that reunion. And we really went deep. Like we armchair experted the shit out of this podcast. I hope you guys enjoy it.

I want to, before we get into Bachelor in Paradise, just have everyone listening get to know you a little bit more because I saw that you're a mother of freaking five. That's correct. Five. And you have time. Five children have left the lady cavity. Oh, no.

That's insane. Like, A, that you've done that. Like, that alone is insane and applaudable. But B, that you have five children and you are a reality television connoisseur and can watch all this shit. How do you do it? Well, it's not that hard. People make it sound like I work with refugees

or I work in a sewage treatment plant. It's not that hard. Remember, some of my kids are at school. A lot of them, many of them are at school for a long part of the day, so that helps. And I have a babysitter that helps me with the little ones. And that gives me an opportunity to do all these interviews. And I'm actually moving into producing

shows. So I do that too. So I can do the watching at night or I work out every day because I don't drink coffee. So I need some way to stay up. And so while I work out, I'll watch shows too. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, you know what? I know that this sounds crazy, but like my sister just had a baby and like she aside from like talking to him really does nothing. And I'm just like, I know that when I have a baby, I'm going to be looking over his head at Instagram. Like that's not going to change. Well, of course. No one would disagree with you. They all do that. And truth be told, if you want to get shit done, you give it to somebody who's a lot going on. And when you were at your most busy, that's when you can get the most additional things done. I think people that are kind of

like putzing around, they're the ones that get distracted easily and cannot stay the course. So I say, you want something done, give it to people that have a lot going on. I really like that. So when did you start having all these babies? My oldest is 10. So my kids go 10, 8, 6, 4, 1. Oh, my God. I was a media consultant for law firms before this. So that was my first chapter in life. And as I was having my first child, my husband's best friend said, you really have to pursue your writing because I had also been taking classes at the Groundlands Theater in L.A. And so I started writing television recaps. And it was like the Real Houseways of Orange County. and then like a bunch of other shows. And then people started to really enjoy them

and kind of got a cult following there. And then I added writing stuff, anecdotes about pregnancy and parenting. And then I kind of added that to my kind of bag of tricks. And so I started doing collaborations with a bunch of different sites. And then I just felt like I need to finally pursue stand-up comedy because I always felt like I could do it. And then that kind of took off.

And then I was on a couple of. different podcasts as guests and then three years ago I went to a network and pitched an idea for a show where I would reconnect with people who had been on reality shows maybe years ago and figure out how that experience changed their life and that kind of was the genesis of my podcast and that's been three years now and so over time has changed a little bit so that I'm throwing in guests that maybe are on a TV show now and now I'm even adding directors or producers of documentaries so I've had, you know, I might have Craig from Southern Charm one week, but then I might have the director of leaving Never, leaving Neverland on HBO the next week. So it's always something

different. And I just really love storytelling. And I'm really inspired and compelled by unscripted TV. Like my husband loves scripted TV shows, but I'm, you know, date line, 48 hours mystery, the real world, real house, wives, The Bachelor, Amazing Race. That's way more. were my jam. Yeah. So who was your first guest, like when you first started the show? Ashley Ia Kedetti from Bachelor. Oh, how was she as their first guest? She was really sweet. And I have to always curb her credit for taking a chance. But that was three years ago. It sounds like, you know, like I'm being ridiculous. But think about how much the podcasting network is, or world has changed in three years. I was basically trying to convince people what a podcast was for like a year and a

half. So I don't think she had ever been on a podcast maybe before, and she was living in LA and she came over and did it in studio. And I think she started her podcast like a couple months after. Yeah. Now she's like doing three different ones now or something, probably. And I have to tell you that I remember even then that she was really emotional about Jared and she said offline that it was really hard for her to get past the fact that she didn't think that he wanted a relationship with her. But I always had a sneaking suspicion that even though, and I don't know if this is true,

I felt like she told everybody she was a virgin, but I felt like maybe Jared, she had done a lot of stuff with Jared. Like maybe she got to third or third and a half base. So for all technicalities, maybe they didn't go all the way to home base. But nonetheless, she was deeply in love with him.

And so to see this story where, you know, she's not married to him, it's kind of nice because I would always think, what about the guy that marries her that must be he's going to feel like shit because she just was so in love with jared that is that's one of the you know that i mean they're the exception not the rule right so like you know girls at home that think like they can cry and you know be hysterical and clingy and needy and have the guy somehow years later fall in love with you and have this disney princess ending it's crazy it's the exception it's not the rule but it definitely was like

like, you know, a beautiful ending to that story and, you know, watching them on Paradise and watching her cry over him and basically just see rejection at its like finest and most obvious was painful to watch. But, and now you're like, wait, he's in love with you and you're married. That's crazy. But then that just shows you like, we could be cynical, but the Bachelor Nation did have some good outcome. I also really appreciated the fact that I asked her, do people recognize you? She said, yes, and I asked her, does it bother you? And she said, no, I love it. I really appreciated that in the moment because I felt like her season was the one where the social media really changed the dynamics. And I felt like she was the only one that was honest about it. Like, yes, I really like

the attention that I'm getting from the show. Yeah. I wish more. I actually just heard from a vanderpump rule do you watch vanderpump rules as well of course of course so i'm not going to say much cast member but one of the cast members told me that the bachelor people the l.a bachelor people are really bitchy oh i believe i believe they are amongst the worst people that live in on this earth they are oh my god so it's a consensus they are terrible people yes they're extremely entitled they have no grasp of reality they don't appreciate people like you and who are like in the grind, try to get people to listen to our show,

to find us, who have like this breadth of work that we're just trying to get people to get access to. I mean, they're plucked from obscurity and then they're put on the show and then they get 1.6 million followers. And they have no idea how difficult that is

without being on a television show where you get a rose. So crazy because, you know, speaking of Vanderpump Rurals, the Vanderpump Rural cast from the people I spoke to, which is almost all of them, I'm like they were so nice and, you know, seemingly appreciative of like the show and Bravo and, you know, where they came from and kind of, I know down to earth is like a big thing to say, but I mean down to earth in the sense that it didn't feel like you were talking to someone like the way you just described that things that like, you know, we should bow down to them because, you know, they're on reality television.

Well, I don't know if that's totally true of all of them. That's not been my experience. There are a couple that I really seem to enjoy. But I do think for. for someone like, for example, Tom Sandoval. Yeah. He was in the industry trying and still tries to get work as an actor and a husband as a model. So the juxtaposition of that was somebody who is 24, worked six months at a financial service firm and was like, I don't want to do like a desk job. And so they try out for The Bachelor.

They get a couple of Skype calls into it. And then they go and they get to go on vacation. and then the show airs and they get all this media and women who want to have sex with them. Crazy. And they cannot understand the grind that somebody like Sandoval had to do, you know, in living in L.A. And he's like slinging, you know, martinis all the time. Still to this day, he was living in a rent-controlled apartment that didn't have a working microwave. True.

And so he appreciates it in a way that these numb nuts will never will. But how do you explain the difference then between like a Bravo show like that? Like, like you said, even though, you know, VPR, the cast members did start getting homes. And it looks like they're living a little bit more of a boogey life now. But for years, even though they were on a successful television show, they weren't. And like you said, they're still doing shifts and they're still hustling. And not only doing insta ads is my point. So it's just crazy to think that this Bachelor universe has gone so mad.

Doesn't it feel to you like something needs to change? I think it's kind of jumping to shark now because it's like everyone understands that the people are, and I apologize for not having another term, but they're not there for the right reasons. It's so incredibly annoying to people, but I do think that they are going to have to make some modifications to the show. I go on Jenny McCarthy show every Tuesday and we recap this. And Jenny and I always say, we could come up with so many ways for them to break the fourth wall. and to just lean into the fact that the show has changed so much, but they would never allow us. Because it has to change in some way.

I think that I interview people from every kind of reality show. And I think that there has been a shift this year where the fourth wall is being broken down in a way that it never has been. And I think that's because viewers get tired of the same thing all the time. I think that producers are sick of casting people who have a similar personality. And I think that there's a shift in the culture where people are hungry for meaningful connections, feeling like they get to understand someone beneath the surface. Like you even see that trickle down into Instagram. I feel like the comment pods and the international loops

and those days are over where people don't want to follow somebody who's doing an ad for you know, country crock butter while standing in a bowl of cherries. They don't care about it anymore. They're like, I want to follow my friends and see what they're doing. And we appreciate someone who maybe reveals that they have a mental health issue or that they are struggling through the financial issues that come with going to school or having IVF or I think there's a shift in the culture where people are hungry for authenticity. Things that shows like the Bachelor have really done well with, which is surface stuff. Yeah, that's, I just feel like you're right. Like there is, there are so many ways

they could modify it or put some sort of, I don't know, even say like, okay, if you come on the show, you can't sign on any Instagram ads for a year. I don't know. Do something. So I say, I say, I say at the end, you have a choice. You can either take a cash payout or you can take the engagement ring and with the agreement that for the next six months, lunch, you and your boyfriend or beloved whatever you want to call them, you get to go on a media tour, but if you don't do the media tour, because the media tour is enormously helpful if you want to promote whatever nonsense brand that you think you signed up for the show to begin with for, you might take the cash pay out because you're like, well, I have student loans to pay off

or I want to put a down payment on a condo in, you know, Poughkeepsie, New York. and then you really start to see what people's real motivations are. Like, listen, Jed got it a lot of shit this year because he admitted I had a girlfriend and she just didn't care. She just was like, whatever. I still think you're cool. I like to hear your country music, you know, jingles. I'm going to win it.

It's fine. But the viewers went after him. But I'm like, ah, like as much as he's a tool bag, at least he was honest. At least he was honest, unlike other people. Exactly. And the thing is like that was, I mean, Jed pissed me off too because of how everything went down. But at the end of the day,

like we can't pretend here that this isn't every single person coming on the show is doing the same thing. And I think it's going to get to a point where, you know, because I think I've spoken about this, you know, about Bravo, because most of the reality shows aside from The Bachelor that I watch are Bravo shows, that Bravo knows that, like their audience is like a little bit savvy. You know, Bravo people like love their shows. They

want to know behind the scenes. They want to know the truth. And I feel like with The Bachelor, like they need to understand that us viewers like we're not all, like you said, just got our period and that we're a little bit savvy and we need to be like looked in the eye and being told like, okay, we know that like people come to get 2 million Instagram followers. But so we're going to work with that and around that to still bring the real thing. Because you can. You can. You can't bring on someone like Tyler Cameron, who is the hottest guy in the universe of the world, okay? And like you said, you know, we spoke about this earlier, pretend that he can't freaking walk down the street and get Gigi Hadid, which he has now done. But why would

Tyler Cameron need the motherfucking show just to promote himself? To promote his modeling and to promote the fact that he wants to be an actor as soon before the season even ended he had signed with an agency i was like that guy's like paul newman 2.0 for sure i don't know if he can deliver a line but he's the most gorgeous person that's ever come through the show and it to no surprise of course he wasn't going to stay with hannah but i felt like she chose uh what's his face jed because i think that she was deeply i think she was deeply insecure when she when she was given the opportunity of the bachelor,

because she felt like she was not enough. It's this running theme in her life. She set it a bunch when she was a page and contestant. It's nonsense to me,

but I don't live her life. So I think that she chose Jed because she felt like this is someone who's probably my speed, my level, my league. But I wouldn't pick a supermodel either.

I don't think that, I don't think that can't, whatever, Tyler, like, I don't think he thinks I'm in his league. So even though she liked him more, Could you see a parallel universe in which she chooses Tyler and they're engaged till this day?

No, because I think, and listen, I always say I feel like I have a jiggery in armchair psychology after watching shows for so many years. I think that Tyler, I'm going to guess, will be single until he's 50. I think he will have three different kids from different women. I see him on a speedboat in Florida at 50 with very weathered, sunburned skin, with a warm. with a woman who is drinking out of a Coors light bottle and smoking a cigarette. And I think that that will be the true love is his life. I think he will reflect back on all the women that he was with and say, I became very famous, very young.

Everything was handed to me. There was no way I could be serious about somebody. And now I have all these kids. And I'm really just that guy from Florida. And now I can live my best life. That, you just went really deep. I almost got goosebumps. like that is I thought you were going to be like I take this stuff seriously I think about all the time I do take it seriously I think about this stuff I feel like I talk to somebody from a show and within five minutes I feel like I pretty much figured them out and sometimes it's sad because I think oh god this is not going to be a good interview until I can check back with you in 10 years because there's no way with any perspective and I have to see some of my favorite interviews have been people that went off TV for a little while and

It's not always the person. People want to hear from the person that's on the show right now, but they have, there are a couple issues. One, they have no perspective, especially if they're young, and they've had limited professional experience. And two, they're being told by a publicist what they can't talk about. So it's not going to be as enjoyable. You know what is enjoyable?

Circling back to Mike the situation when he went off Jersey Shore for a couple years. And he said, listen, Kate, I was a maniac on Jersey Shore. I was totally high. was an idiot and let my brother handle my taxes. I didn't appreciate the fame that I got. I mean, those are the greatest interviews because somebody has had a minute to kind of live their life outside of television cameras. And you have to do that. So I feel sad for somebody who's like 24 and they went on The Bachelor and they were like number four finalists. And then all these clothing companies that are in the Forever 21 lane said, we think you're a big star.

can you be the face of our company and they have never had a real job and they are overwhelmed and they lose sight of who they are and I do think there's something called arrested development that exists so that for those people they remain the age that they became famous and they can never get past it and they feel so badly about themselves because when they're 29 and they're back in Texas and they're in Austin and they can't get a job that makes as much money as they did when they were an Instagram influencer and they had all these people telling them that they loved the way they looked in Jordas jeans

and they have to work it as a barista. Wait, so Kate, you're saying you feel bad for these people, there's not an ounce of like, maybe I'm a little jealous of these people too that they get all this stuff. Like you're almost comparing it to like a child star syndrome. You're almost...

I believe it's the same. You think it's the same as like the Justin Bieber? Yeah. I because I feel like at least with some of the housewives some I'm not saying all of them because there's some of them that definitely have arrested development too but especially the ones that have had career success and I'm going to give you an example Margaret Joseph's A Real Housewives of New Jersey she had a long professional life before she was on a television show that show does not define her Margaret Joseph's is the same person during filming as she is when they're not filming that can't the same cannot be said for a lot of the people that are on real housewives who didn't have any professional life before it because the show becomes who they defines them and so i do feel bad for them because i think it's really hard in the year 2019 2020 to to disassociate yourself from social media or the job that you have or the children that you have or the husband that you have

to be able to be to juggle all those different pockets and remain centered is very hard. So imagine somebody who never had a real job, shows up on a show that doesn't necessarily reflect their value system, and then they get immediate wealth and immediate fame. And then they're at the top of the hill and then a new season of the show comes on and they're not no longer on it and they feel like they're at the bottom of the hill and they will never be able to climb back to the top. We're going to take a quick break and be right back. That definitely has some parallels with, you know, the child stars and like Justin Bieber just last week, I think it was, came out with that statement. Did you read what he wrote?

I did. I felt tremendous sadness for him because I don't know how he could ever be somebody normal again. Like how can he just go to, you know, Ponderosa, walk. up, get a steak and some mashed potatoes, sit down in his little seat and just have a meal and not have somebody bother him or ask him about touring. I just don't think his life can be very quiet again. I think that, you know, people that don't get it, like I think that there's still people out there in the world who think that fame is so glamorous and so great and that, you know, if you're famous and you're rich, then everything must be amazing for you. I, you know, obviously

no, that's not true and didn't, you know, only need the Justin Bieber Post. I think it's all around us that we see today that it's almost, you know, the rule that most stars that have overwhelming, you know, publicity and fame are sad or have mental health issues. Yeah, but let's be honest, it's a whole hell of a lot easier than not being able to figure out how to pay your electric bill that week. Right, right. But it's not all it's perked up to be. And I'm sure a lot of them would, you know, want to be, quote, unquote, normal. But my point is, you know, with the Bachelor world,

for example, what did you think about Cassie and Colton? Because you were talking about that media tour thing. I remember how angry I was when Colton's season ended. And Cassie pissed me off galore a lot, in so many ways. A, the whole, it pissed me off that the show, you know, the Colton season ended and it wasn't the way the show was supposed to end, meaning it's either you pick a woman, you get engaged. And this was like, will you please, date me? Like, please, pretty please, like, blah, blah. And then he forced her to date him. And then,

you know, they went on this media tour. And every interview that I saw, I got more and more mad because it felt like, we just saw you, you know, kind of reject him and be forced into a situation where you're giving it a shot. And now you're media touring, giving herself, like you said, 1.9, you know, million Instagram followers where you're like, you like the guy. You don't even love the guy. You're not moving in with a guy. You're not getting engaged to the guy. And I felt like it was, it was not fair. You know what I mean? I felt duped. Well, I felt duped when they announced him because I get more and more frustrated. Well, and I think it's a reflection of, as I mentioned to you on my show, that I had a private conversation with John Paul Jones, who by the way, I like very

much. And he was the one that said to me that there were things that Derek had said offline that he felt were totally inappropriate and worrisome. Because let me back up and say my John Paul Jones story. So John Paul Jones, I'm watching the show. I'm like, I just know dudes like that. And so I found out he went to Catholic University of America. I went to Trinity, which is across the street, and we both lived in the same apartment complex. Of course, not at the same time because I'm old as hell. But the point is, I knew who he was because it was like every guy I went to college with. So I reached out to him and I getting a call back from his father. Yes, you heard that right.

Oh, my God. So his dad says, hey, Kate, listen, I got your email. Listen, he has a real job, which I was like, thank God. But so I told him I would help him sit through some of these emails because he's getting requests for all the stuff. And he needs someone to help him, but he doesn't at the time because he's at work. And what jumped out at him was the fact that I had five kids because John Paul Jones is one of five kids. So I was like, I don't know if this is depressing that the father called me or this is hilarious, but it's somewhere in between. So he was like, listen, he's a good kid.

He just went on the show as like a fun opportunity and he doesn't. Like he can't wrap his brain around it. I said, rest assured I will help him. So he called me back. And I just was like, listen, I know who you are. you went to Catholic University, we both lived in this cloister's. Why in God's name did you go on the show? And he's like, I just thought it would be fun, you know. And he's like, and I actually really did like somebody on the show. He said, but, you know, I really couldn't be quiet about the things that

I heard on the show. And this guy, Derek, really got under my skin because he said things that I felt were totally inappropriate. And without going into detail what he said, because I don't know that's a violation of their privacy, but he just felt like, Derek was using the fame of the show to do things with, to have conversations with girls. How do I put this?

Young girls are writing him and he's like, not being mindful that they're young and impressionable and just using the show to kind of like work his way through girls. Do you understand what I mean? No, no, I totally do. Yeah. And so he said, he's the one that told me, you would not believe how young some of the viewers of the show are.

And that it troubles me because I have younger sisters. I have three sisters. And I would never want a guy to say the kinds of things that he said. It really bothered me. And my parents raised me to stand up for women. And it really bugged me. And the way that it edited me look like I was crazy, but that's really what it was about.

And so, of course, since I have four girls, And I went to a women's college. I was like, and that's why I love you, JP. So what I was talking to him about was that, oh, so I posted that I was going to interview him. But then, of course, ABC was like, oh, no, you have to get, you have to get permission from us, which is a whole other episode about the headaches that I have booking this stupid show. But I posted that I was interviewing him, and this is what I was telling you, is that I was flabbergasted by the people that wrote me back with questions,

because I'll say, I'm interviewing John Paul Jones, like send me any questions, you want me to add to my list. And very few were from people that were like in their 30s that were, you know, that asked questions like, where does he see himself in five years? Is he going to keep his job? Does he have any regrets? What did it make him think about love? Like nothing that was thoughtful.

They were all from very, very young girls that I guesstimated were averaged about 17 years old. And the overwhelming question was, what is his astrological sign? So it made me realize, like, what he said was right is that most of the people, the majority of people that watch the show are very young girls. And they look at Ashley and Jared and they probably write them and they're like, you're our goals. You're what we want to have.

They haven't even had a chance to go out into the world and to date and have these really great life experiences. They look at the television show as this like precedent-scented relationship that that's the life I want. And so J.P.J was just saying, you have to be mindful that that's the audience. And so when you're writing them direct messages and bragging about how you can get any girl to write you, that you're really being disrespectful to them. Is that the longest answer all you've ever heard in your life? Oh, my God. A, he's like sounds so introspective, like that he spoke like that. He is. And he's a nice, he's a nice guy. He's a really, really nice guy. So you liked him before you interviewed him, like you liked him from the show? I watched it and I just said, I know guys like that and I think that he's probably a normal guy.

And I remember I went on to Jenny McCarthy that morning. I said, guys, I kind of think he's probably normal. And she was like, do you really think so? I go, yeah, I think so. And then I wrote him right after and then his dad called me. And his dad, that is the cutest thing. His dad must be like 50 years old. I mean, can't be that.

that, I mean, they live in Wisconsin, so it's possible, but like, he's not that old, but he just was like, the father was really solid. And then the John Paul Jones was like, listen, I just like, I love my family. My sisters are so important to me. And my parents raised me to stand up for women. And I could not in good faith leave that show. And I feel good about myself if I hadn't spoken up. So do we believe that Derek is like a shitty person? No, not a shitty person. I think, I mean, I haven't spoken to Derek and I probably never will. I don't know, but I didn't seem to me because I remember he said something like, well, I guess I could get engaged to Tisha. Or maybe J.P.J. told me that or I heard it, but he was just like, well, I guess I'll go to whoever I need to be with to stay on the show.

But remember, last season of Bachelor in Paradise, he was engaged to Taylor. Then he goes on this season and he's in like a quasi relationship with Demi. And then Demi's like, oh, by the way, I'm in a relationship with a woman and she's here. So sorry. And then he's like, oh, okay, well, I like Tatia now. So I feel like he didn't really show me that he is anything other than someone who wants to stay on television. I think that JPJ got his point across and maybe it was editing, but that was like, because he talked about the podcast so much, which maybe just shows how like naive he is or how like, you know, from Wisconsin he is or something that like he was like, you're trying to promote your podcast there. well by the way he was right he was right you and i are in the podcasting world he's right they all go on and they create podcasts now you and i work our asses off and like a lot of these

people will have they'll just like an ancillary part of their portfolio now like oh i'll just start a podcast and we'll talk about but i think for someone like derrick who is like 32 maybe he went on the bachelorette and thought i kind of like being in entertainment i don't want to work at like, you know, an accounting firm. I don't even, I don't actually really know what he did beforehand, but he keeps appearing on television shows, which is hard to do if you have like a job in the real world. So he has a podcast and when,

and I actually tweeted out at that time when I watched it, I've never felt so connected to a story on Bachelor in Paradise in my life because when he said, I don't want to be on your podcast that made me laugh because Derek's response was, well, dude, I just wanted you to be on because we could talk about the fun experiences. that we've had from the show, again, another fourth wall breaking down.

He was like, dude, I don't want to be a part of what you're promoting. And his, like, Derek, Derek is basically like the guy who had a one-hit wonder in the 90s and still wants to go on tour because he likes to see groupies. Oh, my God. I mean, he almost, it sounded like he was almost getting a shot at The Bachelor. He did for about two days. And I remember John Paul Jones was like, I'm really confused why everyone thinks him so horrible when I was just telling my truth.

Like, I don't think this is a good person. I'm just here to have a fun experience and a good time. Like, I don't, when you talk to him, you realize that he doesn't take this stuff very seriously. Like, he went back to his real job. He was like texting me. He's like, I love that. I can't talk to you till later tonight because he works. And by the way, he works for like a great company and he's going to have a career in tech.

He's working at a company in D.C. that's doing really great things and I'll probably be working there six from years from now. That's amazing. But he's a confident enough guy that if he goes into a business meeting, he's going to go, yeah, you probably remember me from the bathroom paradise. I threw up a couple times because I had too many tacos. Everyone in the room laughs. They talk about the advertising campaign and then they call labor and they say, we want to do business with you. business with you let's go out for beers like he is confident enough to own it and to use it as like this funny story and a way to connect with clients where some of the other people are like

I'm hanging on to this I'm hanging onto the cliff with white knuckles because this is my last chance to be on television I think you're going to make me like a John Paul Jones fan after this like podcast I hope you are and I hope everyone like just gives him a break because I I feel like, because I appreciate that. And but again, a lot of the women or people that are watching are really young. So I don't think that they could look at it with the same lens that we do because we've all had relationships and jobs and things that sort of cloud your perspective. You look at people in a different way, the more life experiences that you have. And I'm not trying to sound agist.

I'm just telling you that I think we can all agree that who we were when we were 17 and the way that we looked at the world and looked at relationships is, totally different than the way we look at them at age 31. 100%. 100%. I love the fact that he still has a job. I love the fact that, you know, like you were saying, that's a thing. I could totally respect someone coming in. You know, for example, Jordan Rogers, like him and Jojo are hustling.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's a guy that was like, yeah, I know that you guys hate me. But he probably went on the show because he wanted a career in broadcasting, which I have to give it to him. It was a great segue. He happened to fall in love with a girl, but he was like, I'll be friends with a couple of you dudes, but like this is not where my last TV job is.

Yeah, that's a thing. For most of you guys, this is like your claim to fame. And I want to be like on a network doing other things. So I'm not going to get stuck in the minutia. I'm going to take my girl. I'm going to give her a real, you know, engagement ring two years after. when I have real money to spend on it, and then I'll probably have a real life.

You don't see... Don't you love that? You don't see those two going to the Crystal and Goose Wedding. No. They're like, we have bigger fish to fry. We're trying to get our development deal at CNBC, but thanks very much for the invitation. A hundred percent.

I got goosebumps again. I'm such a lame ass. Like, this shit really gets to me. Because I think that's so great. Like, I think that no one's against you branding yourself or trying to be successful and use whatever. you know, tools you need to use to get there. It's just like, what are you trying to do?

If you're just trying to be, you know, sell us things on Instagram, then no, thank you. We have enough of that shit. That's what I'm saying. I think that the most savvy people, the people that we enjoy the most, the people that we have the most respect for are the ones that say, you know, I really want a career in this space and I'm on the show and I'm going to do it because, A, I can get more eyeballs on me so I can maybe reach a different platform. But I am going, since I'm transitioning into a new career, I'm able to let go of the job that I had before. But I'm very mindful that this might not work out

and I might have to go back to nursing. And third of all, I'm at a place where I'm like 28 years old, 32, 34 years old where I almost got engaged once. I had a bad breakup twice. I fell in love with a girl and it didn't work out one time. I moved to another city. They've had enough life experiences under their belt that if by chance they do meet someone and they have a genuine connection on the show, that they can make it work well after the cameras leave. But because they're choosing people that are so young and they have not had the opportunity to really live their lives, they don't make the same great decisions as somebody who's had some life experience under their belt. So who do you think is going to last from this season of Bachelor in Paradise?

We have Dean and Kalin who left together. I don't think any of, I don't think any of them will. And I also wonder, the ones that are the people, the couple, the girl with the big eyeballs, who's the lifestyle block, Hannah. Hannah, I mean, this, maybe this is dark of me, but like, well, Hannah's too young to get married and so is, what's his name? Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. They're first of all, way too young to get married. But I'm also like, they both are the same publicist. Like, do I need to read that into that too much? Like, is this a real romance or is there's publicists?

Like, this is a great way for you to get extra time. Can you just stay together? But maybe get engaged. And then we can see what we can do with it with your agent. You know, in a year from now, maybe you could get a deal with wet seal. I don't know if I totally believe it. I don't believe any of these people anymore. I don't think they're old enough for me to believe it.

Chris Bukowski, I could believe that maybe he could meet someone because he's been on a bunch of these shows and he's older, but he doesn't sell it enough for him to me. Like, he's not enough of a salesman that I believe that he has any feelings for this girl, Katie. I don't feel like he likes her at all. Back to Hannah and Dylan for a second. I see what you're saying, but people that couple up from the beginning and have no drama don't get airtime. So they're not getting air time. Hannah was getting much more airtime when she was, like, debating between Dean and, um, sorry, not Dean Blake and Dylan.

But she made enough of a bump. So the young, young viewers who like, you know, to, to see girls who look like them and have the same style. Like, they, they like her now and they want to follow her life journey. Like, what lip gloss does she have? What does she wear overalls? Are those on trend? Like, she's our, like, tastemaker. So she made enough of a dent in the beginning that now she can smoke. a cigarette on the patio furniture and take a day off, you know? She doesn't have to be in it to win it until, like, day 14 to film me. And she did the job she had to do. I know. I want to believe, I told you, I'm more of a believer than you are. You're a bit more cynical than I am when it comes to like reality TV. You're like, nothing is real. Break it. Like, you're like, you think every show is going to end like Laguna Beach? Was it Laguna Beach that ended like that? Where they show the Hollywood sign all of a sudden? Or was that the hills? That was the hills.

But Hill, the Hills was all scripted. Yeah, I mean, there's, you know, there are a lot of great shows on TV. And I actually get very frustrated when people put down reality television because it's like a spectrum of shows. So not all shows are garbage. There are some glorious shows. There's a spectrum, garbage to glorious. But when it comes to the authenticity of love relationships on Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise,

you know, you got to kind of look through things with like some for real glasses on. You've got to go to lens crafters and make sure you've got some like, good specs on because. So you didn't get, you didn't get emotional at all that Dean came back for Kalin. No, because I feel like Dean in no way in hell is ready for a relationship. Dean has a lot of baggage. I interviewed his father, who's a lovely guy. And his father had his own journey too. Remember, Dean lost his mom pretty young, you know, relatively young. And then before he had time to really have a career and have some life experience, he's on a TV show. He gets hugely famous. And then kind of like he's in a wandering

phase. I think he'll be in a wandering phase for a good 10 years. That's why I said I don't know if he's going to start a cult or appear as a cult member in a lifetime TV movie because I don't think he knows what he wants to be. Should I be an actor? I have all this access to, you know, agents because

I'm pretty famous. Although I don't really want to work an office job. Should I remain in a van down by the river? I just don't think he can make any decisions right now that can be long and lasting, especially in the area of romance. But Kate, he made a decision to come back from Kalin, according to Instagram.

They're very much together. They're together. This is two weeks of filming. And so when he left and came back, that was probably 12 hours later. And so he probably left and had to go back to the Motel 6 and like Nyaree or wherever it is. And he realized there were no television channels. And he was like, I've been living in a van. I want to watch a couple movies.

We have no direct TV. they don't have on demand. So I may as well go back because I have nothing else to do and I don't even have a job. And I kind of miss my friends because they all kind of are like, yeah, it's fun.

You get to hang out with people. But they're together today. They're together now. They put up cute Instagrams. They're in the van. They're watching sunset. I guess. But I mean, do they live together?

Do they pay a mortgage? Who pays the electric bills? This is all real life stuff that they don't have to handle. Well, Kate, let me tell you what they do have that I found out right before starting our podcast today. They just yesterday started a joint phone plan. Okay.

Does that sound like it's getting serious to you? Or does it sound like it's getting serious? I mean, that's just funny. This is why I feel like I need to be a counselor on that show. Because I feel like the couples are going to come to me before they get the ticori and I just go through it like a list of questions. Who did the other person vote for in the last election? Who here has a retirement plan?

Who here has had a full physical in the last two years? Have anyone, has anyone in this party ever had a restraining order against them? Like, you've got to ask some like real questions. Who's going to pay the gas bill when we get home? What's your credit score? Like all these things, it's like, okay, we're, in this resort for two weeks and we're just going to hang out together and the chance to like get a free ring would be great and people will like us a lot more if we're in a relationship

so let's just like pretend we like each other like they're not real life situations it's definitely not real life and i agree with you about dean which makes him you know to me the fact that dean kind of like not went off the deep end but you know is traveling the world i follow him on instagram he's been like jumping out of planes hanging off of cliffs like he's definitely looking for some adrenaline and definitely has some issues to figure out, which is why it makes sense that a person like him needs a while before getting into a relationship. I also remember it was hard for me to remember like, wait, he was really into Rachel Lindsay. Like, do you remember how upset he was when she broke his heart? Like, he was like... I don't think

it was about Rachel. I think it was the fact that his father appeared on television and he was embarrassed because his dad looked like a wizard. He had a wizard costume. That's really, that was the, he was being confronted with the relationship that he had lacked with his father for several years. That's what that was about. I don't think he cared about Rachel. And if I were in his life, which he should reach out to me because I'm an excellent older sister friend, I would say, why don't you use what you have? So why don't you call your agent or get an agent and instead of having the female host

of like wet and wild where it's like they spend a year going to resorts all over the world. Have him do it. He's already traveling. That's what he wants to do. He wants to go explore different cultures. I don't know. Maybe he could do a development deal with like the food network where he's the hot guy that gets to go around the world and try different foods. He doesn't necessarily have a culinary background. But maybe he's the guy, he's the every man, even though it's really hot, that will go and try the different diners out in Spain and Dubai and give you kind of the insight. He should lean into the fact that he's sort of lost by getting a real job. We're going to take a quick break and be right back.

Okay, I have a question for you. What would you rather have sex with Dean and his fan, have sex with Tyler in Matt James' bed? I'm going to go with Tyler. I just don't think that opportunities to sleep with someone that has them come around not often. He is just a beautiful man. He looks like Paul Newman. He really does.

When he opens his mouth, though, don't you get a little bit turned off? Like, he's not the best talker. I don't care. Because we're never going to talk about Thoreau. We're never going to talk about, you know, Western civilizations. We're just going to talk about, you know, speedboats and reggae bands. I mean, that's a thing, you know, that the. bachelor franchise can do. And one of my followers actually DM this to me and I put it up because

it was so true. She was like, how does a contractor from Jupiter, Florida, you know, who goes on the bachelor to get, you know, probably an agent or something, ends up going so far and dating freaking Gigi Hadid. I mean, he's at a whole and other level now. Well, what they're forgetting is that he actually was a model in New York. The only reason he went back to Jupiter, Florida was because his father was sick. So he was already there. So for all we know, maybe he was already in the Gigi Hadid orbit. Maybe his modeling agent knew her modeling agent and they went to a couple parties together. Maybe they had a backstory. We don't know. But it's not like he was, you know, doing the footloose dance and in a barren abandoned warehouse in Florida before the producers found

them. Like he had a modeling agent. That's how they, that was his title. It was like contractor. They didn't write like model so they weren't being so um worth right well no because i've asked them before people involved with the show why do you come up with these ridiculous titles and they said after while you can't have pharmaceutical rep for every person because that's the highest the majority of people that try out for the show are pharmaceutical reps so they have to come up with clever things that are make someone stand out so you think not even true like chicken enthusiast that girl probably was a substitute teacher in Oregon. I don't know, but they have to come up with stuff that keeps them apart. Like Robbie Hayes sold pool equipment. But they called him a former professional

swimmer. He wasn't a professional. And I think he like, you know, may have been in a couple college meets, but he sold pool supplies. Oh, man. Which by the way, they should have just said pool supply salesman. Because that's much fun. That would have been much funnier. But I don't know. I think they were like, well, he's so good looking. Do I think he's good looking? Oh, Robbie, no. But I think people thought he was when he was first on Jojo's show.

You know, and after a couple of seasons of him being on every other reality show, we all know that he's probably a pretty garbage person. Yeah. He's definitely slimy. What do you think about Hannah and the fact that she's going to be on Dancing with the Stars?

Oh, deep sigh for that one. Are you over her? You don't feel like seeing her on TV anymore? I feel like I've been told by so many people that are egos out of whack now that I'm just feeling a little bit of concern if I were her older sister friend I would say pump the brakes a little bit and here's why when they're the bachelor or the bachelorette they're told that they walk on water they have a hair person a makeup person a stylist they have a producer that's with them all the time that's like all these guys they're here for you

they think you're the most extraordinary person that ever walked into a room it's like having five different hype people around you at all times. So they have, it's like a lower level Beyonce situation where you just have people around you who are yes people tell you you're so great. And I think a lot of them, for a lot of them, it's hard for them to transition out of that world. Well, she hasn't really transitioned because she gets off the show, she goes out with Tyler for, he comes back to her apartment, which is probably in Park Libreya, like all the other reality stars. And then next thing, you know, she's on dancing with the stars. So she has, hasn't had a minute to really sit in normal life. I have said from the beginning,

I think she will end up going back to Alabama, Tuscaloosa, in like three years. I think she's going to meet up with a boy that maybe she knew in high school, who probably works at a bank, and they will ultimately get married. I think she will end up going home and finding that the North Star was right in her backyard, that that's who she was supposed to be with the whole time. You know, this one, I can see this one, more than the Tyler 50 years old like smoking a cigarette on the boat because that's like who she is.

It's like not, you know, I know this was a theme of today's podcast, which sometimes happens and I wasn't even planning it, but not every single person needs to be in entertainment and not every single person needs to be famous. And if you're, you know, a simple cute girl from Tuscaloosa who loves, you know, roll tad, then maybe that's where you should live

and raise your babies and you don't need to come out to L.A. and like, be in entertainment. And it's fucking scary to do that by yourself at what, 24 years old. And I agree with you on that. And, you know, I, I was, I went back and forth with Hannah. Like when they announced her, I was like, wait, why? And then she was, like, awkward. And I was like, maybe that's, like, kind of cute that she's awkward. And then I was like, wait, but she can't really, like, speak in front of people. So how's that going to work? And then she spoke actually really well during the show. And I was like, oh, and then she made those horrible decisions one after

another, by picking Jed, by asking out the hottest man in the world on a date on national TV after she broke his heart. Like, everything was just like, I was like, oh, no, it was like watching, you know, someone get hit by a bus. There was just like all these like poor decisions. And I just feel like she could have done herself, you know, justice by giving us also like a little break from her and giving herself a break from, you know, the television world. But I also feel like you got so much love. People are rooting for you. I'm not sure we need to see you again right now. You know what I mean?

Like the way you were saying about perspective. Yeah, just take a minute. The way you were saying like you rather have someone on your podcast in 10 years. Like maybe we would want to see you on Dancing with the Stars like in two seasons. Like oh Hannah, it's so nice to see you again, you know, like a nod right now. But we'll support her. And I thank you so much, Kate, for coming on today. This was an absolute blast.

There's nothing I enjoy more than a lady who appreciates your TV. I love it too. It's like you meet people, like one of my favorite thing about podcasting, and this is so for real I'm saying this, is you think you're this like special creature who's like so into these things and you're the only one taking it so seriously and you might be a little bit pathetic, but you don't care. And then you meet people who are the same way, if not more than you.

And you're like, oh, hello. And it's just like a beautiful thing. So tell everyone who's listening where they can find you and listen to you. Talk about all the stuff that we love. So my podcast is called Reality Life with Kate Casey. You can find it anywhere where you find podcasts. I have a great Facebook group too. If you love reality shows and kind of ripping them apart or need suggestions for other podcasts or documentaries

or reality shows, go into the Facebook group. It's Reality Life with Kate Casey. And my Twitter is at Kate Casey. My Instagram is at Kate Casey. I just want everybody to get excited about TV shows the way I do and especially if you're a woman. Sorry, fellas, but, you know,

girls are my lady friends. Thank you so much, Kate. We'll talk soon. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you to Kate Casey for joining us. Thanks to the Fudglomerate Network, as always for doing this motherfucking show. Thank you guys for everything,

for coming back every single Tuesday. I really hope you listen to my Humberggylux request to rate and review this podcast and please let me know that you did and I would I will I will send you a virtual hug and a virtual French kiss. I will see you guys next Tuesday. Love you.