Not Skinny But Not Fat - Bachelor Recap Sesh w/ Jared Freid

Episode Date: March 3, 2020

I had to bring on my male counterpart of Bachelor recaps, comedian Jared Freid! Jared joins me in discussing this entire shitshow of a season, how we think it’ll end, how we both hate spoilers, what we think about the new bachelorette and what we absolutely can’t wait to see on the Bachelor Finale. Also, I peed my pants. Bring a change of undies and enjoy. This episode was brought to you by: Ritual Essentials have the nutrients most of us don't get enough of in our food. Make Ritual a part of your life – a subscription based service that adds up to only $1.00 per day. Right now Ritual is offering listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/notskinny to start your Ritual today. Collagen For Her is the first collagen powder created specifically for women. It dissolves instantly, doesn't clump up, and has no taste at all, so it's so easy to add to coffee, tea, or smoothies. If you want to try it out, head to CollagenForHer.com and you can use the code "NOTSKINNY" to get 10% off your order!  Betterhelp is an online counseling platform for you. Listeners will receive 10% off their first month by heading to betterhelp.com/notskinny today. Get help on your own time and pace. The Not Skinny But Not Fat Podcast is produced by The Podglomerate.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, so here's my issue. We have the preview, like this year's fence is his mom. Right. This year, Colton's fence. Bring her back. Anyone, if my mom acted that way, bring her back to us. This is not skinny but not fat, and I'm your host, Amanda, bringing you the latest in all celebrity gossip, reality TV. Recaps and anything happening in Hollywood right now that I just can't keep my mouth shut

about. This is not skinny, but not fat. Okay, guys, so since I'm going to self-proclaimed queen of Bachelor, Bachelorette Recaps, I'm going to call you the king. Even though it might be David's Spade, sorry. That's way too nice. I love David's. I know. He's really good, too. But Jared Freed is here, you guys. Thank you for having me. Yeah, thanks for coming. A lot of my followers sent me your stuff many times saying they love watching both of our recaps. Even though the latest comparison I got between us both is that I'm more like, I guess you're like really sarcastic about it. I guess. I don't know.

I just make fun of it as it comes up. Right. You make fun of it. Basically the whole thing that I do is while I'm watching it on the couch shirtless, like I would watch any show and this is the things I would say. Same. With like a girlfriend or, you know, like my girlfriend sits with me on the couch. Oh, you have a girlfriend. I thought you talk a bunch about, like, dating stuff. Give a lot of dating advice on two different podcasts.

We give dating advice to anyone that asks. I don't know why they keep asking. I don't know. But you're not single anymore. But you started doing, like, podcasts, like, about dating and stuff when you were? It kind of just happened. I was doing, I started my podcast like seven, eight years ago. Are we talking about the U-Up with bitches or J-Train?

Yeah, the J-Train. was the TFM podcast, which I just love podcasts. I love talk radio. And TFM had a big following. And I was like, why don't I start a podcast for you guys? Because they had like a huge Twitter following at the time. And I was like, you promote it. I'll host it. I'll find a

studio. And then they were like, what's a podcast? I was like, perfect. So like, wait, this was nine years. So you were really one of the beginning. Even when I started I thought it was late. Like I, because I'm a fan of podcast. Like to me, I was like another person with the podcast. But like. And so what do you feel now?

Now there's a lot, but I do think, like, I love podcasts. Like, I genuinely like the medium. I use it a lot. Like, I'm, I'll turn off the TV just to listen to podcast. So, like, I do, I think, like, it's nice. Like, I mean, my show, it went from TFM to J-Train when they were, like, we want to start our own. And I was like, okay, good.

And then I called J-Train, but I didn't initially, like, we were just going to talk shit. And then I started getting these emails asking for advice. And I was like, I was like, I. And then we got so many emails that, like, the show became an advice show. Really? And it's just, like, you can send in anything you'd like, but, like, 90% of them are dating relationships. And it's, like, sexual stuff, too. That can happen.

Yeah. I mean, it's not like I, I, whatever they send, they send. And I try to just keep an old. And in the same way, I watch The Bachelor. Like, I think a lot of people think that I'm like, you know, and probably think the same. Like, they want, like, some people are like, look at these fucking idiots. Like, I went on this other podcast. I don't think you're going to do this because it seems like you like the show.

But this woman, she was like, I want you on my recap show. And she was like, and like the joke we can all make is that they're all here for sponsorship. Right. That's the easy joke. That's the one I understand. I've made the joke. I'm not above it. I'm just saying like, once we get over that hump, we have to talk about the show.

Like, if you sit there watching WWE wrestling saying it's fake the whole time, then don't fucking watch. But also, and this is what I always say, because I can come from both sides too, is like, we have some couples, you guys. It's worked out. It's worked out for many, many people. But in the way that dating is a mixed bag of experiences that are good and bad, so is The Bachelor. Yeah. Like, you know, you're going to meet people that are going to be someone in the back,

your rear view, mirror of life, and that's okay. I think, like, we want to hold, like, I think, like, sometimes, like, I think there's two versions of people watch The Bachelor. I think there's, like, very two specific versions, and there's the ones that want, like, meet, get to know each other, fall in love, have babies. we get to look at them on E, you know, with check-ins every few months. Like some people want that unrealistic story. I watch it like a day trader watches the stock market.

Like, I want movement. I want excitement. I want bad and good and crazy and not crazy. Like, because that's where I get to make fun of it. Like, you know, people, I compare it to like investments. Like the retail investor gets in the market so it goes up by, 10% 20 years from now so they can retire on the money they put in

The stock trader wants movement So they can make money every day I'm more of the stock trader I like movement I like when someone freaks out So you're a D with like let's say Colton's season ending with A non-engagement

That they're dating So you're down with it not being like This is what's supposed to happen on the show Love it I love when they go off show I feel like it's going to happen more and more now It has to Yeah the world is

folding onto itself. Look at, I mean, that, the one, this season especially, like, has been, like, way more inviting the, breaking down the fourth wall. Like, remember when that girl, Alea got kicked, she got kicked out, and they invited her back. Right. And then she goes, so, what's been happening? I heard that you, and she, like, started doing, like, basically came in as reality

Steve's, like, fucking conduit. Like, she was like, you did this and you're this and you have HPV now. like she like goes around the road and they're like we don't have our phones like and it's like I've never heard them say we don't have their phones on this show right like that's a first but like it has to evolve it's always evolved and also I liked when Kelly the lawyer was like I'm here to have fun like she was way too honest she was just like she was like I'm here Peter's cool like traveling's fun yes and it'll be nice and I was like on one hand I'm really into it because that's the truth like that's why people come on

to like we said to get some fame to have some fun to have an experience to travel for free whatever whatever but she you're not supposed to sit you're supposed to play the game yeah she didn't play the game she she had i've already sucked his dick energy i know we met in i'm quote i'm i'm er quotation mark we met in the lobby yeah yeah yeah and went upstairs and had sex and remembered each other's names and phone numbers like it's like yeah like something else yeah lobby like Or they went in the bathroom. They knew each other way more. Remember that time we saw each other in a lobby and cross paths?

It's like, no, something else happened. Yeah. Did you hear the rumor? You said you don't do spoilers. I don't either, but they come to me. Yeah, sure. So I saw that people were saying that like his whole family follows her on Instagram and that she and that they're dating now. Let's get one thing straight.

His family is out of their minds. Okay, let's get one thing straight. Everyone is just his mom. Mostly his mom. Any person... Okay, so here's my issue. We have the preview. Like, this year's fence is his mom.

Right. This year, Colton's fence. Bring her back. Anyone, if my mom acted that way, bring her back glass. If my mom acted that way without a camera on, I go, mom, you've met her once. You guys, like, hung out for 15 minutes.

What, what, what's wrong with you? Is your marriage okay? You just had to renew your vows on TV. Is there a problem? Like, people wonder why Peter's the way he is. Peter's the way he is. Oh, why does he react to, like, dramatic women? Because his mom is that woman.

Bring! I could do that all day. I'm so excited for the bring her back to us. I'm dying. I'm so excited for that scene. I love that you scream more than me. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's called the live scream.

That's what I do. I'm like, usually I'm the screamer. It's like when my producer comes back, he's like, Amanda's levels. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the levels. So, every time I do a podcast, so we do the U-Up and J-Train, every time we tape you up, I'll go into Betch's office to do it. And they'll go, okay, mics.

And I'll go, check, check, check out. And they'll go, can you do like how you do it, really? Because check, check, check is not what you do. Yeah. But I think her, his mom, like that seems. to me like bring her back to us is I'm gonna eat that up I'm gonna eat that like a good meal

It's better than the fence It's better than the fence It's better than the fence She was the one at the bachelorette Who's in the crowd They go Peter you fuck four times in a window She's going that's my boy She's out of her fucking mind

Like she's like But I'm Cuban That's how we should be It's like you took a 23 of me a week ago And found out you were Cuban Isn't it funny that Peter Like when he's like his like Españo. It always sounds racist. It's always like, dude, you need to be canceled.

He's like, I'll have the salsa fita. And you're like, Peter, shut the fuck up. Like, we know you took a 23 of me a week ago. And you're just trying to get in on the movement. Fuck you. You're white. We all try to do our best to stay healthy, add a bunch of good nutrients to our our bodies, but most likely we're still not getting all the essential nutrients that we need. Enter ritual. They have the nutrients most of us don't get enough of from food in clean, absorbable forms, no shady additives or ingredients that can do more harm to our bodies. I love taking ritual at night. It's my nighttime ritual. That way I don't forget. And I think it's a habit that I have from previous vitamins that I felt like I had to take at night before I went to sleep

because they would come up for me, but Ritual doesn't come up for you. It's that good. They even have a big mint tab in each container that keeps everything fresh. Better health doesn't happen overnight, guys. And right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first three months.

Fill in the gaps in your diet with essential for women, a small step that helps support a healthy foundation for your body. Visit Ritual.com. slash not skinny to start your ritual today. That's 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com slash not skinny. Can we talk about his face the whole season was just like like a sad puppy? You should be happy. 25 girls want to fuck you.

And I feel like most of the time his face was like, he's not he's a bad bachelor he was a bad bachelor because you need bachelor's any pimp has to be a strong pimp yeah like even ri you know like even ri people didn't like him but he was like at least like like peter you had did it four times show us a little bit of that energy there's a middle ground are he's like a 10 peter's like a one or so what no no no no nick nick vial's a 10 yeah peter's a a one. Ari knew what he wanted.

Again, he was a little older. Let's give Ari as an example of, like, you know, made a decision, took his decision back, which you love. You said you love that kind of shit. That was amazing. Which, like, let's talk for a second about, like, Becca K is a K? How boring was she about her at. Becca stunk.

Yeah, I wasn't. Zero charisma. She chose the guy. We all needed her to choose. choose like go to the woods disappear forever like go chop some wood is there she has a fucking clothing line i mean would you of all the people of all the people the worst dressed bachelorette and the history of the bachelorette the only one that should have a clothing line is jojo and she should be all comfy sweaters that i want to hug she should have that's a thing she should have like a house

line and like she's really she i was just talking about her about like she's a bachelorette that i like follow because i actually like she's fantastic to see her stuff like other love her bachelor people i don't get why people are so into following them because i feel like their content is but isn't it interesting how like both of us agree jojo's great like people love ben higgins like they're like i less get i less get it because i'm not a god guy but like it like i do understand like people do beloved him like it's so weird the line is so thin of being like a good batch or bad bachelor at good you know like I met Rachel Lindsay she was so nice and awesome like people don't like her though I thought she was great I think her season was boring because she was like almost too good

for the role yeah like you know she she didn't smart too smart like you know and then they had like those loud kisses that everyone was like okay turn on the turn down the ASMR you know it was like a little much but then I think it's like it's interesting with Peter where it's like dude you handle this week from minute one and the women ran all over you and and no one we want a guy to come in be like hey this is my show now I just I don't know on the ship but I'm going to be steering it for the next few weeks it seemed sometimes like the it flipped like Victoria F flipped it on him galore I mean the Victoria F thing is is problematic like she need like the thing Peter needs to say to her that he can't really say on television I want to have sex with you and then

And that's it. Yeah. And then you need to walk into a therapist office. You need, we need to fuck. I need to see what you do in there. It was so, don't you feel like it was so obvious he was keeping her.

Like, again, we don't do spoilers. So I don't know. But I feel like it's so obvious that he literally kept her for fantasy suites to have the sex that was like exploding, like the physical stuff. She's so fucking hot. Okay.

Yeah. You think she's like the hottest one? I don't know if she's the hottest one. She's the most fuckable one maybe. Yeah. The more I look at her, the more. Like my girlfriend watches with me and she just gets like disgusted by me.

But then I even know she agrees with me because she's like, I'm going to get Victoria's jeans shorts after the season's over. And I'm like, yeah, so you know what I'm talking about. Like you don't, women don't buy clothes from other women that guys don't want to fuck. Like it's like, this is all related. But people love Maddie the most. She has already, let's do a live check right now. Sure.

Let's do a live check right now because her followers are going up. Well, Maddie did something very, um, Maddie did what. 1.2 million. This used to be, these used to be the numbers for a bachelor or a bachelorette after their season. Maddie did what can only,

Maddie's the reason podcasts exist. I do believe this. Like, Maddie is the reason, we can't go online and attack Maddie. You can't. You would be evil. Yeah.

And here's what Maddie did. Maddie used. God to make herself the victim. So now all the God people are like, that's me. That's who represents my values, my feelings. And it's all of us who are normal people going, well, we don't

give a fuck that she's a virgin. We give a fuck that she basically withheld information until the last possible moment, which is a lie. And then they can look at you and you look at you and go, oh, so you hate people saving themselves from marriage? And you're like... But do you think producers told her because she was going to tell him, they made it seem

like she was going to tell him after or like the ceremony, remember? And then she ended up just telling him don't have sex with other people, fantasy suites. That's even too late for me. You went on a date. You're on a show to marry someone. Yeah.

If she was a vegan, I'd be just as, I'd be just as against it. Like if she goes, I gotta talk to you, I gotta talk to you, I only eat plant base. Like I'd be like, okay, like, that is as wrong. Especially because everyone shares their like sob story right away. Absolutely. That is a whole part of her life.

And her parents kept trying to get her going, True. Does he know everything? But they weren't. But do you think it's producers? Like I know, we don't need to get into like that because it's more fun to watch the show and just think like no one's intervening.

But could it be that they were like keep it to the last moment? Like that would make sense. To me, here's the other thing. If even, let's say the war, let's say that's what happened. Yeah. You're not that pure then. You're along for the ride. You've signed up a deal with the devil, literally.

Right. So, like, I, I understand that perspective, and I respect it. And I understand why people are like, well, the producers, well, the producer. I'm like, well, we all make choices. Yeah. Like, it's like saying, like, well, I ate the food in the fridge. And then you go, well, I didn't know it was yours. Yeah.

Okay, but you knew it wasn't yours. Right. There's always another, like, I, like, don't give me the, I'm pure of heart. Yeah. Like, even if the producer told her she could have said, like, no, I need to tell him because, like, she has. God will judge me. That's the thing. I don't.

But what Maddie ended up doing is she goes, and like I saw a meme today that got me so fucking angry. It was like, she, and it was like Maddie, it was in my Discover page, but it was like, this is our, basically making her their queen. Like they're like, Oh, people love her. It's because she represents a group that watches the show that I,

I have nothing against. Yeah. Like, but they play this move of like it's us versus the world. Everyone wants us fucking, but we're here on Virgin Island. It's like, no, no, no. And the God people, it's funny. Like, I feel like The Bachelor is a representation of, like, the Republican Party. Like, they made, like, this deal with the evangelicals, like, this handshake agreement that we're going to keep you along.

I know. Where are the Jews? We need some Jewish, we need some Israel freaks. Was there a Jewish, like, put aside a size aid and up on the show. Was there a Jewish person on the show? This season. lead? Well, Andy, the girl from Atlanta.

What's her name? What, talking about past season? Dorfman? Yeah, Dorfman. Oh, she's Jewish? I don't know, Dorfman. You know, I'll go with it. I've made worse judgments in the world.

But there was a post on Instagram that was like, like, like. We stand a queen. We stand a virgin queen. We stand virgin, Maddie, you know, who said, but she put it in words that, like, you can't disagree with. And that's kind of like, that's what I think is so interesting about this show is like

the relationship between the internet, the producers, and the show is the fun part to me. Like the fact that there's people going, we should wait till... Well, I just heard everything from your like esophagus. Yeah, I, well, because when I talk, I give you all of me,

okay? I don't just come on a podcast and just like let it happen. Like we have to give you every bit of me like I would on the show. From the inside out. So I, when Maddie, she said something along lines of like, I will not, I don't want to be with someone who's had sex with someone six days. I'm not going to marry someone who's someone. I didn't have sex with six days.

And everyone's like, that's the most relatable. And it's like human thing in the world. Yeah, it's relatable until you realize she's on a show. That that's what you do. That's what you do. And with a dude that like fucked four times in a windmill. Exactly. That was his biggest accomplishment from the season he was on.

You sign up for him. And and and you go, you're going to, that. none of us want to date someone who said sex with someone six days before no one wants to marry of course we don't but that's like you can also say that

and not be and then but then also say you can't say well you didn't let him know that before like you go on to the show you get to the last possible second and then you go and then you say that on the bench

like well if you're gonna be with other people and you're vague about it she wasn't like up front with it right right and then whether a producer sold it or do it or not then you can't hold it against him because he's living by the laws of this reality. And she's basically like, well, I told him that's what she says.

You can't be mad. You're just going to go, hey, I guess we're not meant to be. I guess we're not the match. Instead, she's like, why won't you be my match? I guess you don't care about me. She makes it personal. No, but it's funny because when she told him that she was like a God person, his reaction was so funny because you could tell that he's not. Okay, he's Christian, whatever.

Maybe, you know, he has a cross in his house and his parents' house. But you could tell his reaction and it was like, like and then that's like so what are what's your like that's a huge thing I was saying when I did my recap like even if you're Jewish and you're Christian you can still hook up but you both have to be like not really like here you call them God's people do me in the same page page about religion if someone's like the Lord is my life and your partner the Lord isn't their life and sex aside let's say he can wait till the to the to the wedding to bone her that is a huge thing that I feel like he's even like overlooking well that's that's the part

where Peter's not a great bachelor. He's looking at her going, he's, Peter's aspirational with every girl he's with. So he goes, well, he'd even said, he goes, I should be better with that stuff. And it's like, no, no, no, no. You are what she is.

Like, she can be good with that and you can be bad with that. You can find someone that's a better match for that. Like, when it was funny, when they, like, look at his face, you could just see his penis running away. Like, you just see his like, whoop, bo, blah, blah, blah. Like, just like, I'm out of here, boys.

Like, you know, like, and it's like, I agree with you. It's, it's, it's amazing that he's like not factoring. And it's, look it. I'm in the middle of watching Love Island. Or, blind is, love is blind. Oh, me too. Okay, we're going to talk about that next. I'm enjoying that show.

I'm on season, episode six. Oh, really? Oh, really? I mean, no, I just lied. I forget that I, I'm usually so slow with my binges, but with this, I thought I would make it in time. Yeah. So I try to power through and it almost killed me.

It's a lot. it so I only got to like episode nine but yeah we'll talk about that after I'm at six so I'm before you but I I you see a lot of that on that show where they're like they're just trying to make themselves into the puzzle piece that fits the person that's in front of them and it's like that's kind of that's not a good long game that might be good for short term I I see it in my relationship there's points where I have to say this is who I am this is what I do if I don't do you know the podcast at one o'clock on a Sunday with someone I've never met before which is fine that's what I do this is my life and if I don't do it and I'm sitting with you

you know having a Sunday together with my girlfriend I will resent you for that later we're not doing what I have to do what I have to do and being totally me so yeah it's interesting that like Peter kind of I don't think Peter's thinking long game I think he's thinking bring her back to what like I think he's bruised by a mom who's very in by, you know. Wait, so who do you think she's talking about? So, spoilers aside, everything, your own, like, so my own.

So I have, I think it's levels of crazy. Okay. So if it's any of the girls that are left, she's fucking insane. Like, she's, I think it's Maddie.

So let's say it's Maddie. Because she met her. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking, the own, I try to think of it on like levels of, favorite part of, like, how obsessed you are with them. I'm obsessed because it's our one clue as to who it is.

And then the clue just relates to how much of a raging crazy person she is. Because I just keep thinking of my mom. If my mom, if I brought my girlfriend home once, okay? And then I was like, yeah, we, you know, it just didn't work out. And my mom was like, bring her back to us. I mean, like, you met her one. Like, I know she was at your vow renewal, but like, I kind of had to bring her. a date and she was my plus one.

Like I would like, but then if, so then, so if it's Maddie, it's crazy. If it's Hannah Ann or Victoria F. Not. It's wildly crazy. The only one it makes sense. Hannah Brown. No. If it's Hannah Brown, it's crazy because Hannah Brown's been living a celebrity life

since the show. Like Hannah Brown hasn't been hanging with Peter at the mall. Like they're fucking, Hannah Brown was on Dancing with the Stars. She's a Dancing with the Stars champion. and they're talking about bringing her back because the ratings were so good. I know, my God. So like Hannah Brown,

like the mom like only knows her through Instagram. Like that would be fucking insane. The only one it makes sense for is that producer theory. So where Peter ends up with the producer. You think? So the only one it makes sense for that I could be like the mom's only a little bit crazy. Like she's just a crazy mom is if she's like, she's had a relationship that's built with this producer.

Like they've traveled together. They've shown them on New Year's. So that's the only one that like, holds water for me where the mom could be that. So you think that theory so if you guys don't know, the theory is that Peter ends up with Julie

the producer. That works on the show. That works on the show that you see her. They had pictures from New years with this whole family in like Times Square. Hannah Brown commented on that picture. That she stands it or some shit. Yeah, that she stands it. I think oh, recently

you remember when him and Maddie went up that scariest shit Australian high thing. Was it Maddie or... Maddie, Maddie. Where'd they go? That elevator that took them to like the 100th floor. Like literally.

How are all these people so they don't have anxiety or like spheres? Yeah. It's kind of... Just like hop in a helicopter and like fly into the mountains. I think it's all adrenaline based. Like I think like... Where are the normal people that are like, I'm fucking scared of helicopters? Well, I think you want to...

That to me is... It's funny because like I think that... That's the one where they go, what will people think of me at home? And they don't think of it when they're like, I bring her back. You know, like the mom's like, I got to make sure I look nice. And then she's like, forgets everything when she's like, bring her back to me. You know what I love about you?

The bring her back. But if you're laughing at it, I'm assuming someone at home is laughing at it too. And I do think it's funny. Like, I love doing that voice. I love a crazy mom. I love that like this whole theory, like, like the fact that we. We have this out there to look forward to. It's so much better than the fence.

Like I can't even tell you. The fence was like, who does he like jump a fence for? It's like, so he jumped a fucking fence and was like, producers pissed him off. Looking back, like, it wasn't that big of a deal. The bring her back is like, this is how it ends. This is a little nugget that we've been looking forward to. Like, and it's grown. At first it was like, oh, the mom's crying.

And now the closer we get to it and the less there's someone that's a viable option to be brought back. to her the more crazy she has to be and like I don't think a lot of people are talking about it enough like I've been like really hitting like from three weeks ago I went on bachelor podcast and I was like I was like doing the voice too I was like this is like you don't understand how great like to me hometowns is the best because it's all these people that aren't TV ready how do you feel about the fact that it came out that so many of them it's not their real house which makes sense because like not everyone's rich yeah that why it's got to be a tough job

yeah to walk into the house and go your whole life is gross I gotta I gotta get you this ain't gonna work you're gonna get fucking torn apart on TV they showed Dean's like father's cave or something. Who? Remember Hot Dean? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember the dad?

But I guess that fit the story that he lives in like a cabin in the woods or something. Yeah, I don't think the men are as as butt hurt by something like that. I think it's a very female. I'm gonna tell you one thing. Hey, we're doing scouting.

Like, there's a scouting person that walks in there and it was like, oof. Like we can't film this. Yeah, this isn't gonna look good. That's the thing on love is blind to make the comparison. and they go home. So I'm only at when they, they just let them into their divorced dad apartments,

that would make me sad. They go, you're moving in together. With the guitar on the wall, like the records. Remember when we were young, we used to like put things on the walls, like hang a guitar or like hang like a record.

I hung nothing, but I understand what you like you decorate. Women would decorate their rooms with like teen, you know, the back street boys. And I feel like money shouldn't be obviously like, Like in an ideal world of love, money doesn't matter. But in a like I'm looking for someone to marry.

Like you want to know that. Stop it right now. I see I'm ideal. Money fucking matters. Stop it. Excuse me. When I met, I'm married. When I met my husband, we both were young and we didn't have anything.

And I didn't look at it like that. It's not to say, but you look at potential. You don't look at your husband. You don't look at your husband and go, oh, he just lives in a vacuum. We love each other. No, you go, oh, he goes to work every day. Right. He has this much debt.

No, but I'm saying what I'm trying to say is the difference is the difference is the the difference is the. When you go on this kind of a show, you're not, like, even if you're 22, you're a 22-year-old that's ready to get married and have a family and whatever. And you can't be like, not have money for that. You need money for that.

That's what I'm saying. But then that's where love is blind. Like, I'm at the part. I literally stopped it after, so don't please, don't tell me anything. I literally stopped it. You're like a spoiler. Oh, I hate. If someone spoils it free, do you like block them and get to bring, right?

Hold on. I'll tell you a really, I think it's a, funny story so i um i had this uh guy dm me and he goes and it was right before the bachelor was about to start and i was like ramping up like i'm doing all my previews and all this shit and this guy writes me at dm he's like hey man um my girlfriend and i are like huge fans um i make fun of her every week literally i've been making fun of her the last year because you blocked her and it's really funny for me to make fun of her about but can you please unblock her before the bachelor week love watching together and I go what's her handle

I'll go look at it and I go I find the handle I go to the messages to see what happened she sent me a spoiler that was so it was it was like she thought

she was I was so angry rereading it I re-read it and I go I fucking hate this person she wrote me like she's just basically just spit out like a spoiler she's like well we know that blankety blank makes it to the end and I wrote back I go you know I have to block

you now I don't do spoilers I have to block you now you didn't even give me a chance and she goes she writes back she's like oh just drunk here she didn't even apologize she didn't say I'm sorry at all it was just like oh I'm just drunk and you know people are going to send you these things and I just block game over fuck you like you didn't even like I did you on blocker

so then I read this conversation now I'm at dinner my girlfriend and I'm like literally enraged okay like I'm back to being met and I remember when it happened I remember thinking wait was it what was it about can you tell us it was like from the bachelorette it was from Hannah's season and she was just she had already read reality Steve and like and it's like we don't know each other we're not friends you're like oh go fuck yourself and the fact that you don't go no one takes the loss anymore no one ever goes you know what I was wrong because they're they're fearful of like the pile on from the internet yeah then I'm going to screenshot and go Look how wrong this fucking ain't she admit it.

That's not what I'm here to do. I don't give a fuck. Just be a human. Like look at me and so. It sucks. If you really try to avoid spoilers and someone, like, spoils it for you, then it. What kind of a person does that, though? I'm putting out a free service.

I put out these, you know, live screams every week to entertain with the idea. And I understand this is an investment of time that I'm making. What's the idea that someone will go, this guy's funny enough and I see Idaho with him enough that I'll follow his account and maybe come to a show at some point. to put money in his pocket but for now I'm getting the free entertainment so I understand the trickle down theory I'm living in also could fuck me over but don't spit in my face while I don't so I wrote to the guy I go hey man I just reread the conversation I'm actually enraged again I go I go she didn't even fucking apologize right that's I go that's really my point and I take this

pretty seriously I know it's a fun thing but the more serious I take it the more fun it is for everyone that watches it and enjoys it. And if I didn't take it seriously, you wouldn't like it as much as you do. He writes back, he's like, listen, man, I go, she's been unblocked. Just let her know how angry I am about this whole situation. She then writes back like a very sweet message. I'm so sorry. And takes the loss finally a year later, but it's, it does enrage me.

Like I block people for saying I look like their cousin. Fuck off. I have such a quick block finger. Really? Are you like a Jack's? With blocking? What do you mean? Vanderpum, Jack.

Does he block people? Oh, you don't watch Vanderpump for all? No, I got, I was in on the first season, then I left. Oh, really? Oh, my God. He blocks everyone. I block everyone. I block so quickly.

Why do you get a lot of, like, mean people? No, I don't even get a lot of mean people. I just, I don't, here's how I feel about Instagram or social media in general. I'm throwing a party. You've walked in and you started complaining about the music. Get the fuck out. Yeah. So, like, you know, you don't have to be here.

You don't have to, you know, the people that don't follow, then like, just run over your account to say some shitty thing like I'm like block yeah you'll never come back here again that's fine and I really don't have any remorse I don't care like I the I know I'm living in a follower economy that I don't need you like I'll be fine there's a lot more there's no it feels it feels good to make a decision for yourself because sometimes you're like I don't then why are you let me make it easy for you yeah I don't not be somewhere that you but to me it happened this girl that's really sweet and you know how like there are people that message you a lot so you already know their like handle and stuff so this girl like accidentally you know sent me a spoiler for love

is blind like she sent me the wedding she sent me like a couple cutting the cake like I don't want to know she's lost track of how your relationship works so she sent me that and everyone knows like because I made a commitment like you guys I'm watching this I'm putting up recaps you know of each episode whatever and then she sends me the wedding and I see the couple cutting the cake and I'm like Are you serious? Fuck up. And she's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like, she apologized so much.

And I was like, and I could tell she was remorseful and I want to like kill herself over it. I was like, no, I'm sure this will impact your viewing experience and your follow. Like she felt so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So obviously like, but but but but then I say, okay, you know, the, the hundred thousand people that don't do that and like accept me as I am watching Vanderpump rules seven years late, not telling me at the beginning that like Jacks ends up with Brittany and now with Stasi 12 years ago

then I'm like, that's nice of them. I also look at it the other way. No, there's people that are really good at the, what the relationship is. I think there's also people that are really bad. I also think we're on a medium that allows 14 year olds. So like this person can be 14 and they hurt,

like I'll have every now and again, like I give dating advice. I'm a straight guy giving dating advice. And a straight guy loving the bachelor. And Love and the Bachelor. That's not like weird. No, I just like reality TV. Like, I like all reality TV.

Like I, like, Vanderpump, I gave it a shot and it was fine. Really? Whatever. Yeah. So what do you do now, Bravo-wise? Um, not much. I like, like, I'm more on the TLC bandwagon. No.

Oh, yeah. Pimple Popper. I've really got into 90-day fiancé, but I don't know which, like, 90-day fiancé, it's just this never-ending loop of 98-fiance. You don't know which episode you're on. You don't know what day. it is and it's like all of a sudden you've been watching for three hours you've watched the same episode three times I'm like I don't know how this happened they're like like as good as the

editors are for the bachelor 90 day fiance is like that the best oh they're the best they're so good that you can't put it down really they're McDonald's french fries and you're eating fucking like at applebee's like this is like Applebee's does a good job but it ain't McDonald's French fries yeah they have figured out they're heroin pushers like it's crazy I want to go back to the bachelor before we get into other stuff so the women tell all it's coming up this right this will come out Tuesday so it'll be right after the women tell all so Kelly wasn't invited I heard I yeah I heard that too um you know the women tell all is I feel like it's gonna be boring yeah I I need to see what happens with Maddie I know they're doing like Maddie then women

tell all like they're really squeezing shit in I don't know why they did things that the way they did this season. Like, what's the rush? Let us enjoy it for more time. Right. And I, well, they're already starting to film

the Bachelorette on the March 13th. So this girl's definitely, it's locked. So this isn't a spoiler, I don't think. I posted it in my story announcing it's going to be a spoiler. Oh, this is coming out Tuesday

and they're announcing it Monday, so it's not a spoiler. Claire Crawley, apparently, again, I don't do spoilers, but this has been like confirmed by a lot of sources, and I feel like once something is out there

because. Well, they already pushed up the time they already went from they're gonna they usually announce it at the women tell off right but now they're announcing it on good morning america yeah yeah i wonder that's why when you said you don't know i was like well i know it's coming i know that it's pretty much out there at this point um i didn't know who she is no i don't know who she is i don't have a connection or no you're not blah so apparently it's claire crawley which i only know her i didn't watch juan pablo season so i got in so i started with

The Bachelor early, like, as a kid. As, like, Trista and Ryan early? Yeah, that type of shit. Like, we're, like, I've been watching, like, reality TV my whole life. Like, like, just had an interest in it. Yeah. Like, Joe Millionaire, like, I was in, like, game over. Like, all the flavor, flame.

All the flavor. Oh, my God, I watched that too. Yeah. Live Love, New York, Brett, Brett Michaels. Like, I was in on all that shit. Like, real world, all that stuff. Like, yeah. Same.

And, like, the crazier, the premise of a show, the more, like, like, I watch six around life. all the, like, I get in. Yeah. And the reason I'm a straight guy watching is I would always watch with, like, girls I was dating and, like, they would love, like, I became more interesting to that. Yeah, it was always fun. That is so fun.

My husband doesn't watch any of my shows. I love it. My girlfriend now, she, she, like, deals with the bad. We almost break up every Monday. She's like, I. But she doesn't, she doesn't like it? She's, like, not a fan. She's, like, I don't know what she'd rather watch.

I don't ask her. but I but I we watched together and she's like I'm way more and she's like I take it like a sporting event

but yeah so when I started with the social media aspect of it I was living with my brother near here actually and we were just like two dudes on the couch and I was sick one night

and I was like I didn't do shows I had to cancel like my night and I started tweeting with The Bachelor and I noticed like wow I'm really people like these are doing better than any of my other tweets so then I started live tweeting anytime I'd be home or like when I'd watch it and then I made the switch to

Instagram for the Bachelorette last season because which was like kind of a taking a shot for me because I was like I was doing this thing called dudes watching rom-coms where I'd yell at rom-coms while on Instagram stories and people really like those and I was like oh this is kind of like a combination too like I'm and what I've noticed is people have a connection to like what you're what I'm saying and you know for me as a stand-up like it's made you know telling people I'm not going to be in your town they go well I know what it's you kind of know what my stand-up is just from watching the stories like it's not going to surprise you I do like I'll make fun of political shit but only if it makes sense to make it political I'll do the God thing

with Maddie if only it makes sense like I had one girl she this woman wrote me she was mad at me because I kept calling Victoria F, Victoria Wet Pussy F, because... But she said at the beginning. So that's the thing. I don't just, you know, it's easy now, and this is why the Maddie thing makes me a little bit angry. It's like, it's easy to be right online. It's easy to go, look at this man who yells about women having wet pussies. I was like, well, yeah, well, her opening to the show, she brought a cat that was wet and said, I'm...

Right? It was like, she made a joke. And she, like, couldn't get through it because she's so, like, and then that's when her acting kind of began. Yeah, and that's when she went to him and was like, I'm so sorry that you didn't get the joke. And it's like, when I don't, when someone doesn't get my joke, I fucking, you know, go home and deal with the fucking bomb.

And he's like, it was the pussy thing, right? Yeah, you did the wet pussy thing. You have a wet pussy, right? It's so funny. But then someone wrote me. Maybe she forgot. See, I'm too nice. Maybe the woman forgot that she called herself the wet pussy person.

But that's a thing. That's what bothers me. You wouldn't just say that. I'm not just trying to take down a woman with a vagina. Like, that's not my goal. Like a bad thing. No, and it's like, I don't just make up these things. Again, like you said with like the callback to like, bring her back.

Like I'm going to gnaw at the bone of the jokes that they've given me. That's how good improv is. That's good comedy where you go, oh, now I have a whole universe where you have connected with a certain. And she was like, why don't you do a little less? I usually love your previous, a little less wet pussy joke. It's like, no, this ain't a restaurant where you can ask for less, you know, a medium, spicy falafel. Fuck you. Do you say that, though?

Or do you just not answer her. Goodbye. Have fun. I'm the bouncer leading you out the door. Oh, you have a problem. All right, the door. Excuse me, everyone. I'm leading out, wet pussy woman out.

Get the fuck out of my house. Like, I little. And now, you know what's free? is just not thinking about it. I'm block or down. Like, I don't sit there going, well, they're, you know, their follower and they,

goodbye. Peace. Have fun at someone else's profile. Do it on your own profile. That's the other thing. Some people try to send me their jokes. And it's like, you should do this on, the one that bothers me.

You really missed an opportunity to joke about this one little thing that I saw. And it's like, you should do it on your profile. That's a fun game. Do it for your fucking followers. See how much they enjoy the joke. Oh, they didn't.

It bombed. This is why I do this every day. You know, like, it's like, oh, my God. Okay, so back to Claire Crawley. What I do like about her being named is that she's like 38. Love that. Love that. I've been saying this for a couple years now.

We can't just sit here and say men and women are the same. You can't. We needed a female bachelorette that was 38, 39. I always wanted them to be like once divorced because I wanted like that first wedding thing out of their fucking system. Once divorced with like a child. Great. I would love it.

I want I want realistic woman 38. But what men? Like it would make sense if they brought 44 year olds. That's what I want. They have to. They're not going to though, Jared. Can you imagine? You think they're going to bring on a group of 25 year old men for a 38 year old woman?

I don't know. I hope not. So my thought was the 38-year-old woman is that they would have four. Maybe that's why they were asking for seniors. They were just like, yeah, 45. So you're saying you saw an ad for senior bachelors? Yeah, that was on the last episode. I made fun of it.

She's 38. So if she's 38, I think every bachel, every suitor should be 40 and above. And I actually think it would be a more entertaining show. Because the 25-year-old men, like, they're idiots. They're just, they're not even like formed yet. It's bullshit. That's a thing. Like, let's even go back to D.

Engler, who's so hot, I love him, okay? Great looking dude, hot as shit. Hot as shit. Was on Rachel Lindsay's season. Yep. Told her he's in love with her. Yep. He's like ready to marry her.

No, he's not. Today, we know Dean from Bachelor in Paradise. He's become more, I think, real and more connected to his, like, dad, you know, roots and whatever that he's, like, in a band. He's growing beard. Yeah, he's got his whole love. He's, like, wearing, like, you know, fisherman pants and stuff. So he's become more real in the fact that even though he has this girlfriend

from Kaylin, which like I ship. How do you feel? I don't know. Kaylin from Colton season. Yes, yes, yes. The one that, yeah. They're together. She started hiking. She started going on volcanoes. Okay. She's sleeping in the van. Good for them. She has hiking boots.

Listen. They're cute. They're cute. That's fine. But I'm saying even then. And they go, they go away with Colton and Cassie, don't there? I don't think so. They vacation with somebody. Who do they? Oh, I think Ashley and Jared. Maybe that's right. Do you like them? No. Do you hate on them?

No, Jared was fine. Ashley was working. I don't think that they're, their whole relate, I interviewed both of them for something else. Yeah. And her thing you could tell she's, she's a hustler. Really? Good for her? Yeah, she is a hustler. She, the whole relationship, like now they're putting out children's books or some shit. Oh, really?

Like, it's, it felt like she was writing the story. She was a producer in her own life. really so she was like and i've been after him like it was before they got back together but isn't it also weird that like that happened like usually like you're dude usually in life it doesn't work that way if you don't want a chick you think she's crazy she's cries to you for five years you usually don't wake up one morning and say oh my god i think this i'm in love with her totally i i i i think he's going along with it because i think it makes them both money so i think like their whole relationship like when i was with interviewing them yeah it was before it was was her still doing the chase she was still doing the and he knows i like she was as the cameras were off she was going and he knows i love her and he was going uh like rolling his eyes at it and like laughing uncomfortably yeah but it was like it did feel like they were a package deal so like i don't think like he would have had to go back to providence and like work at the fucking you know at the at the fish market or some shit like he'd have to be yeah yeah he'd be serving you know spicy calamari, you know, like

Rhode Island style calamari. He, you know, like he it just felt like they are a business entity and she understood how that all worked. She understood it more than him, I think. Yeah. Just from my perception. I can kind of see that.

I can kind of see that. And she also like sometimes you hang with these people and you're like they're hanging. They're like, they get that this is all stupid and you know and sometimes these people, I don't know if you've met any of these Badger people, no. Like, so Josh Murray was there too. I've actually heard bad things about bachelor people.

It depends. They're person to person. No, yeah. Colton went on my podcast. I've never met a bigger gentleman in my entire life. He brought me a bottle of wine. I gave him like a crumpled up 50 for doing the show. Like, I was like, oh, I'm a trash fucking person.

Josh Murray couldn't have been nicer. People fucking hate him. And he was like nice and shook your hand, looking in the eye. Like, hey man, oh, you do comedy. like he was like you can just tell the way people talk to you actually i was like okay when does our interview start and you're like oh i'm a means to an end like i i i get her i'm a vehicle to get her to this storyline that she's creating so people i mean this is my perception though this is through one meeting so maybe you know everyone has good days bad days yeah but i josh murray was the one

where i go people fucking hate you and he goes he goes i just got you know he goes that's the editing job i got and i understand that like i represent something to people like i i understand how he represents like an ex or like someone that didn't treat you right and but he's also that dude fucking captain america he's a good looking dude like him and colton yeah so this is good looking too colton is he's like the bumba baby i feel like he is like the body you're like their your arms are not made like i i was like looking at his arm like it was like a fucking you know a glass blower just made me i don't think i don't i don't buy the him and cassie though i I buy it more now after seeing the social media stuff.

Like they still haven't moved in together. I'm fine with it. I don't know. I understand. Like I'm, I guess I have biased because he was just so nice and cool. Yeah. Like maybe that's,

what I think is like he's nice and cool. I think he was actually like you said. You said before he's like an exception. I think he was actually ready to be a 24 year old who was engaged and getting married because he's kind of like a God person and like a, he was a virgin. Sorry. He also had like his, his uh his uh charity yeah that like so like not to like shit on non profits like nonprofits are great

but you can raise as much money as you want and then pay yourself whatever you want to run out the money yeah so like he has a job that probably makes him a good amount he has a platform where he can bring money into it so he doesn't really have to worry about like I'm not saying he's not helping a good cause I'm sure he is but also like he's making money while doing it so like good for him yeah um I don't know I I just bought it I sometimes you don't and sometimes I didn't buy Ashley I didn't I bought Josh Murray and I don't know but back to the thing of like I'm talking about Dean because what I want to say is like this is just an example of someone on Rachel Lindsay said he loves her was ready to propose now he's with Kalin they seem to have a really great relationship they spend all the time in the world and he went on like his podcast saying like I'm probably not going to get married ever so it's just funny how you know three years ago he was ready ready to marry Rachel Lindsay they didn't really really have like I didn't see the connection there between them but we all see ourselves kind of through the eyes of like how we want to be like I'm 35 and I'm not 35 yeah yeah I'm not married

I like usually I like I feel like everyone I meet is younger than me oh really how old do you 31 31 yeah but everyone's like young you know especially in like this world this world yeah 25 no what do you mean I'm 27 I'm like okay when you're 30 talked to me I had someone on my Vagas recently who was like I'm as a 35 year old woman I'm like yeah I'm your age bitch I get it I understand what you're trying to like you're not going to empower me like I get it like you know like there's this whole like it's funny that on the bachelor until now 31 year old it's like what was that season what was that season where like they called the the 31 year old a cougar I remember that and and I remember thinking of women at home just

being like crushing their wine glasses well Natasha was the oldest one this season she's 31 Until, you know what I love the most about Natasha? She said something so true to him on the date. She said, I had this guy, we broke up, he said I was too intense. Luckily, on this show, being intense. That's a winner. That's a winner. Coming on and saying, I want babies.

I froze my eggs. I'm ready for marriage. Sure. Kids, blue eyes, whatever. It's like, great. Open up to me. But to me. But to me, that's the, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,

the more honest version of what Maddie did. Maddie was like hit all that shit and we're supposed to like... But I still believe her. That's the thing, Jared. Like, I feel like I still, though, believe that she would get married, that she would... Maddie? Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

I don't doubt that. Yeah, I think she fucked up with that. You're right. But I feel like, and we'll see this this week. No, next week maybe. That she's the bring her home. Maybe. What...

If it is, I understand it from the mom's perspective. it's a producer then it's crazy and it's more fun it's more fun that's what the show i want to watch i i but the thing you're talking about with dean where it's like i'm 35 and i would have thought like at 25 i'd be like wow my parents got married at 25 and then had me at 27 like i would have given a story like dean did on that season yeah i met jed this guy and you met him after the yeah and he came on our podcast and you know it was a boy face inside of a man's body because they're all Captain America like if you met Dean you'd be like

well you're much bigger than I thought you were like giant all of them are giant all of them are giant it's like watching an NBA game you don't realize how big they are because they're all together yeah like I thought Jed was legit is giant I thought he was legitimately 5 foot 4 and he no he's like 6 foot 3 he man and I was like and but his face was like

little itty bitty inside of this And it's like, here's, I see pictures of myself at 25, and I'm like, wow, I have a different face. Like, I was always like 80 pounds slimmer, but like, you know, like it's, but I, I, this is why I want 39 year old female bachelorette because then the men who come on, if they're 40 and above, they're actually going to be crazier. They're actually going to be cockier. They have their business. They're probably retired. They have a kid. Right.

They think that they're the hot shit. Right. And they're the single hot shit And they're a one town Where they have a fucking You know, like I was in Naples, Florida And I did shows there And everyone's like you gotta go to Blue Martini

You gotta go to Blue Martini I go to this bar It was all older men walking around In fucking Under Armour T-shirts They're going out Under Armour And like walk around me like What's up girls? Like so cocky, so ridiculous

I'm like this is the Bachelorette we need We need Cocky retirement Like a jingle song write. Like that's another thing. Like we're talking about money. Like Hannah picking Jed with that job. Money has to be acknowledged.

And that's what I'm saying. Ari, people didn't like him. But he's exactly what you're saying. Exactly. He had a home in Phoenix, Arizona. Sure. He had the real estate business. He used to be the car racer driver thing.

He's got a whole thing. He's open to bill. That's what I'm saying. It feels like Lauren and Ari are living in Arizona. Yeah, they might be doing ads on Instagram. and they might have a hashtag and Instagram for their baby before it was born. Sure. Which might be annoying to people like me.

But they're the real deal. But again, they're the real deal. And that might not be the life you want, but it's a life. If I was going on The Bachelor, I would want to marry someone who is an Ari and not someone who is a dean. Or Nick Vial. And they're just going to try to get. You wouldn't want to be Nick Vial's wife right now. I can tell you that right now.

I met that guy. Dude, people don't like him. No one likes him. No, I think he's fine. I think he's, um, he's, he's, he's a wolf and sheep's clothing. So like, he's, I forget what that saying means. So the saying is like, he's, he's a producer, he was a producer on the show while being the bachelor.

He was doing that good of a bachelor. Exactly. Because he was too aware of the show. He was doing producers. I'm sure over the course of that season, he looked at a producer like, so what are we going to do with this chick? Like, you know, like, I'm just. He was like, so what's the storyline here?

It's like, now he lives in L.A. and he tells everyone how many, you know, listens his podcast gets. Like, now that's the type of, you know, like, you wouldn't want to be like, what'd you do today, you know, Nick? And he'd be like, oh, well, you know, I had my podcast that's doing this many listens. Like, that's a, you know, he announces himself. He had someone on. I listened to, like, one show or a few.

And he had someone on, and I remember he did. I think he had someone on who's, like, starting a podcast. He's like, well, you know, I have a podcast. You have a podcast, not saying your competition. Yeah, he gets a, he's very L.A. now. He's very competitive. We know I want to talk about it before we wrap up is Tyler C. which I can't hate on him today because news broke that his mom passed away.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, me too. He was very nice. I met him. Really? Very nice. Again, that he manned stuff. You do?

I think he, before he talks shit and I'm a mom. always happy to talk shit um he very nice very much uh i think he understood how lucky he got with you know again josh murray's an evil guy Tyler Tyler Cameron is is sent from god so like the truth is in the middle somewhere right right so like it's not nobody knows he got nobody's a saint nobody's the devil it's somewhere in the middle it's gorgeous it is It's, it's, you can't look away. It's like looking at the sun. You're like, I have to keep looking.

I have, his arms like, but that's, again, like. I love how honest you are about that stuff that you're like, no, because you're a dude's dude and a lot of dudes are still dumb about the chin. They're like, well, I don't know. No, I mean, I know. Everyone knows. Come on. But I would speak that way about a woman too.

And then like that kind of gets me in trouble sometimes. Like, oh, you're going to talk about it. It's like, yeah, we'll talk about that about anybody. I'm just being totally honest. No, but that's actually why your girlfriend can't get mad because you talk. about both sexes like that. Tyler Cameron, you look at him. Yeah.

It's a, it's, it's game over. He is a, he's a model, too. He's a model. He's a legitimate model. Not like I do some modeling. Yeah. Like, so, but I do think he had realized he fell into an emotional water slide that

he got lucky. Like, he, like, because I would always say, like, on his season, there's a scene where Hannah, it's basically like, I know I want to have sex with you, so I don't have to have sex with you. It's basically her premise, right? And he goes, totally get it. Okay.

It would, it's, that is, it would be weirder for him to go, you're not going to fuck me? Like you, does anyone honestly think he was going to go in the bathroom be like, no, when a woman comes in my room, I fuck. I don't care if she wants to or not.

This is fantasy sweet. Like, what's the alternative? Like you're saying, how did he get such a good guy name when he did something that, like, anyone would do because you're not going to be an asshole? Exactly. We always think. He's so understanding. Like, what was he supposed to do?

What was he supposed to do? Like, no, when you come to the Tower C's place, when the penis gets going, when I get hard, I got to come. Like, what do you think people? Well, you think that's what made people love him? Yeah, it started with that. It started with that where people were like, oh, my God, look at a man. and finally respecting a woman.

It's like, what level of respect are you getting? Like, what, what? Like, I understand, like, the horrors of the world. Like, I'm not absolving, like, men who are evil. They're evil men, but there's evil and good happen on the tail ends. And also, there's, like, you know, cameras and you want to look like a normal person. Admit to that. Admit to the reality that this guy's not going to look like.

He got so lucky. So he got so, so that happened. Then he didn't get chosen. He didn't get chosen. He gets dumped. after being the good, good-looking guy. So now he's the good guy who's good-looking who gets dumped by a woman

that a lot of women were like, she's fine. Like no one saw her as a supermodel. So now women are going, oh my God, every woman puts themselves in the shoes of the bachelorette. So they go, I would take him. So now he leaves it. And then she comes back to him. She goes, and he goes, of course he does the menschie thing.

He goes, of course I would go out with you. And they go on one date. and now he's free to fuck anyone he won. I think widow of men whose wife have died and Tyler C both live in the best case scenario for fucking. That's awful. It's true. No one, because they've committed,

they were willing to commit, and then it just didn't work out beyond their control. But that's the thing, Jared. In retrospect, I don't believe him. Then I fell for it just like everyone else. I fell for it. I was like, I did my recaps. I said, Paul Newman.

I said, oh my God, the most beautiful man alive. How is it you picking him? Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. But really shortly thereafter, once, first of all, you could tell when she asked him out that he said yes, but that he was like cringy kind of about it. Okay. You could tell.

Yeah, it was cringy. It was weird. You could tell that like the Queen Hannah tweets were kind of getting a little bit like Queen Hannah, Queen Hannah, but the bitch is coming to you saying. Is that what he did? He always tweeted after he got kicked off like what a queen she is. Yeah, but this is all like we have to like admit. to incentives. I think with a lot of people

we don't admit to the incentives, like, of money of, like, looking good versus being good. I agree with you completely. When he got off that show, you know, the longer you live in a house, the more mess is going to be made. You can't avoid making a mess of a new home. It's going to get wear and tear. Tyler C. could only go

down in goodness from which he came. He got propped up to Good Mountain, and then it's like, oh, he had sex with Gigi, Hid. And then all the women go, of course, who wouldn't? It's Gigi. Then the next woman, they go, well, I don't know about that one. You know, like, then he gets, like,

walking out of, like, he walked out of G.G. Hadid's place. And remember the picture of him walking out of Hannah's place the next morning? Yeah. And everyone was like, good for you. Oh, my God. Finally, you came. And it's like, you think he had an issue? Like, finally, you sprayed it everywhere.

We were waiting. Like, and then he was like, and then when he ended it, he was like, it just didn't work out. And it was like, of course, you dumped you first. Like, it's just funny the way people rationalize goodness versus bad. Yeah, it is, it is. Like even the Jed thing, I could defend Jed. I could defend Jed.

Totally. I could defend Jed is an undefendable guy in that moment, but you could, and then Hannah, who's so taken aback, then her friend, you know, Demi is all the sudden like, well, I'm going to go on Bachelor with my girlfriend. And then the minute, and then Hannah's like, of course, go ahead. And it's like, just because she, like, figured out she was a lesbian, now you're okay with us. Like, why is it different now?

But also, Jed, we also have to know, like, what's on the show and what's the aftermath. The aftermath of Jed wasn't that thirsty like we thought it was going to be. Having met Jed. Thirst, Thirst, not thirsty. I don't think he had a choice. I think people really didn't like him. And I don't think he handled it right. I think he handled it in a 25-year-old immature way.

Yeah. I think he, like, there was a quote recently, I'm not positive. You could probably look this up where someone asked him if he was going to be on the singing bachelor. And he was like, they'll probably talk shit about me. Like, that was his response. And it's like, dude, you don't get it. You got to be above this. Like, you're getting too.

You got to, like, play the game here a little bit. You're being too hurt about this. And I said, I go, how's it going? And he's like, it's great, man. Everything's great. And it's like, things aren't great. You're in fucking Nashville, the center of Bachelorette universe. And no one cares about you.

And people are probably angry at you because they're relating you to one X they had. And listen, for all these people. people that were like, oh, Jed's this monster. It's like, okay, you're all in exclusive but not labeled relationships. What do you think you're doing? Yeah. Like, he was in an exclusive but not together relationship. That's something that exists right now.

And he went on the show and he didn't think he would get that far and that Hannah would fucking choose him and not like the way none of us thought. And how many people? Like, the thing is, it was so funny when she was like, so did you have a birthday party together? Did you introduce her to your parents? Like, there's a lot of people out there that are a girl. of guys doing this thing without being called the girlfriend because they're afraid to get

an answer to it. Yeah. So he's living in the reality that we're all creating. Like I'm not apologizing for like bad things that came out of it. Like it is again, it's the Maddie situation. Like he should have said it seven steps ago. But let's not make him out to be something that we've never seen before. Yeah. And let's not be naive and not think that again, like we said, yes, love stories come out of it. People come out of a relationship, blah, blah, but most of them come out for the experience to get on TV. And if it happens, it happens, and it's fun. And it's whatever. So he came on and he even said to her, like, for his music career. She was the idiot. He did say that. He did say that. The minute someone says that to you is the same as Peter. The minute someone says

to you, I'm waiting until marriage is the minute you're, and then you keep him there. Because the minute you're ignoring a huge part of what makes them now. I think she has a really bad choices. I was afraid she was going to be the Bachelorette again. They wanted her. I read that that they couldn't agree on money

because she's like such a celebrity you said. She's a huge time star. She's a huge time star. I'm telling you she's like a ratings like bonanza. You don't win dancing with the stars without being beloved like which is so interesting

because when she was named the Bachelorette we were all kind of like, huh? Why? I know. People love her. But she also again like we have to admit to the audience that watches the show. Yeah. It's married white women.

Really? Pretty much. Like, we live in this world of New York City and we're like, we meet a lot of young people who like the show and like talking shit.

But like, the audience isn't made up of all shit talkers. It's made up of like people who want to watch, again, like the up and up and up and up. The retail investors

of The Bachelor versus the, you know, the day traders. I can't believe they wanted to have her again. That would be kind of like, it would be like when like,

the people who graduated two years ago come back to high school and you're like come on, get out of here. I was talking to someone about it and I was like when she came on when she came on a cold end season she was like 23.

When she became the bachelor's, she was 24. Now because of all the clout she has and like you said, you're like, are you 30? You know, she seems so much older than like Hannah Ann. You know what I mean?

Hannah Ann. It is 12? She could be literally 12. Do you believe Anna Ann? So Hannah Ann's do I believe what? Do you believe her? Does she love him?

Does she want to marry him? I think Hannah Ann just likes that she's liked by a guy. Like I think she likes that she's having like. But she was like an Instagram model before. Totally. I think the hookup culture in America, like I think anyone who's coming out of college, the idea that someone's going to be your boyfriend or girlfriend is like a whole new world.

Yeah. And I think that's part of the Hannah-Anne thing. Hannah-Anne's mom message me. she's a fan no and anne follows me and they like have commented that they like my stuff her oh my god that's so funny it's very funny and the mom was like be easy on us in hometowns i was like i did like love that and like i liked that like it seemed like her sister cried and she cried it made it seem kind of it gave her more i feel like it gave her more credibility to me that like her sister was so excited for her and like crying and she was crying i think she's i think there's

this thing right now like I think all of our minds are set on this like age of like appropriateness where we're like when you're 18 you're an adult when you're 22 you should be able to get married and it's like that's not the real ages now like yeah like but it also can be and you forget that too because like I make fun of it and this is my time because I've thought about this lot I make fun of the ages all the time like well I'm like trying to three and 23 then I'm like wait when did I mean my husband and then I think about it and I'm like I was so not the boyfriend girl the like I need I was always single whatever but I did happen to meet him when I was 23 did happen to stay with him for five years and then when I was 20 you know seven he proposed to me so there it is

what happened was I that kind of girl that was like I want to have babies and give me no but it happened so I'm saying so I can even though I make fun of it a lot say today that I can see being 23 and meeting someone and being like I might marry him that's why the bachelor's a better show than the bachelorette that's why we need 39-year-old bachelorette. We need 45-year-old. Guys get in relationship because they have no energy anymore, okay? Not because they're like, they were told this Disney princess story. Like, we don't have that in us.

No man's dreaming of their wedding day. My girlfriend looked at me when love is blind when they were proposing. She's like, did you imagine how you, have you thought? I go, I've never thought of that fucking once. I've never thought of getting on any once. Don't say that term. How long have you been dating? A year and a half?

like we're serious yeah but like i i go i don't that's not something i think about yeah like to me it's just not and if i think of it zero then i'm 10% away from the guy you're dating so like okay maybe your guy your guy doesn't think of it a hundred times more than me it's just not the truth but that's why 45 year old man on the bachelette he's thinking am i going to be alone my whole life like i know the thoughts of a 33 year old who's single where i'm going jared you can't fucking not one of these people make sense to you. You can't commit. Like those are the thoughts you have at 33.

At 24 you go, I need to fuck everything right away. Every DM needs to be fucked. I need to spray it on everybody. Like that's just a 24 year old man versus. So it doesn't make sense unless you have the exceptions like Colton. Like that was. I saw a guy yell shots in a bar and I was like and some girls like was with him. And I was like, that guy is going to dump you.

Not today, not tomorrow, but someday. If he's yelling shots in a bar. I'm looking for a good chair. Like, I'm just like, that's why I go to a bar. I'm like, ooh, padded bar stools. Like, that's how I live at a bar. I don't yell shots. Someone yell those shots and I go, oh, I don't know.

Sunday's a big day. Like, just that relationship with shots, like 24-year-olds yell shots. Oh, my God. 35-year-olds are going, I got a big week. It's just the difference. So it's like, we have to admit. Like, I know all these things are unsavory. That's the thing.

Like, no one wants, like, I do understand Anna Ann is 12 playing Barbies. But it looks like you believe them, you know? I believe, I believe, I feel like you're a believer. Like, even though you're, like, sarcastic and cynical about it. Like, you believe all of them, kind of. I believe, I mean, a good amount of, like, Hannah Ann, to me. You don't feel like she just wants to be an influencer? Um, I think that's, like, part of her goals.

But I don't, I don't think Hannah Ann even knows what it's like to go to a job. every day. They don't. So when you don't know what it's like to go to a job every day, you think money just comes. You don't think about like, man, it's going to be really hard when I'm 50. What am I going to do to retire? Do I have a 401k? You're not thinking of those. I get a gig and like I do well. Like if I sell out a weekend, like I have a, I'm doing stand-up in Boston coming up. I'm already adding shows, which is fucking my dream. Right. I'm still going, I'm still miserable every day because I'm going, well, that doesn't mean I can retire ever you know like you have those thoughts right yeah yeah you know like that's why when

Kelly Kelly got mad hate for saying you know I have a job I know and she didn't say it right it wasn't right and she got hate and even Mr. Tyler C your you know light and gining armor um said wrote a tweet like you know she's job shaming or something well okay I mean, that's a bullshit thing, Tyler C. Tyler C was given the gift by God of fucking flight and he's looking at someone else going, fuck you flight people. I got to get a job and going, oh, don't shame me for being able to fly. No, that's what he said, though.

He said I came on the show. Fuck off for that tweet. I'm against that tweet. So that tweet happened. And I just said like, yeah, Kelly came out like bitchy, but it could have been whatever. But it is weird for a lot of these girls that they don't. don't have jobs. Yeah, but again, like the Kelly example is a perfect example.

Kelly's like, I'm a lawyer, but she also was allowed to take six months off from work because her dad owns the company. So, like, don't profess your, you're not at the, you're not leading the Me Too March, okay? You're not leading the fucking suffrage parade, okay? Your dad gave you a job with a desk right next to him. Yeah. Okay, so don't feed us. It's somewhere in the middle.

The truth is always in the middle. by the Claire Bachelorette thing can be really good. My only thing wasn't the age. I love that is just that I saw her in Winter Games and she was a little Cucarico. She could suck. Yeah. I mean,

they all suck at a certain point. But I would love to see a bunch of like gray-haired RAs. How awesome would that be? Like, being like, I work in this. Like, they never talk about that because none of them fucking work. The only thing that could not work about it, the only thing that could get weird is if you see men that age talk that way.

and they're the same age as maybe your dad and you're like well my dad doesn't and it's like sorry sorry to take sorry to

itch the scab here but your dad's a fucking animal too he just wants padded bar seats but he still wants to fuck like you know what I mean like well my dad is not 45

how old's your dad I don't know my dad's 60 and he still says and he said the word breast once I almost fucking jumped off a roof Okay, I'm just saying

It's not of it's fun It could be weird You're saying it could be weird It could be unsavory I think it's gonna be I would love it I really do So you're gonna watch

You're a fan Of the you know You're such a fan You're gonna watch whatever comes on Even if you know From the beginning It's gonna be a shit show I think every season

There's always the group of people We're like Fuck this I'm done And it happens more for the Bachelorette It does Why do you think that is Because women put them So here's what women do.

And I'm sorry to, let me tell you what a woman does. I, I, no, but what a lot of times they... Well, women are harder on women, A. Way harder. And they, um, what happens every season, it's actually, like, it's annoying. I think for women that are out there dating, I think because the age switch, it could be a good thing. But like, I think women bail on the bachelorette because they're out there dating. And then they see, like, third.

30 men in their 20s are just rare into getting a relationship. Like, that's not real. Fuck these people. Yeah, that are hot enough to, like, go out and, like, get laid immediately. And get laid at as much as they want. Yeah. So you're telling me that I'm sitting here swiping all day, all night. Every guy I meet is going, I'm not ready to be a relationship.

And then they find 30 men who are all like, can't wait to get married. Like, that's fucked up. I would be mad too. I'd be like, fuck this show. So that's why, like, 39-year-old bachelor at least 22. year old can go oh this is a nice love story of someone who hadn't found the one yet yeah you know yeah i maybe people want to relate right they want to relate but they they want to relate but they they want to relate but the bachelorette is almost so not relatable that it's relatable you know

but then you're making it sound like it's relatable for a dude to be the bachelor and then for 30 girls to be like i want to marry you it's more relatable i i am sorry to say i don't mean that as a dis, I think that's, I think, listen, I, I, I, that's also part of like societal shit that sucks, like, where you're, like, listen, I have a lot of friends that are very successful women who the first, I remember I have one friend specifically that I'm thinking about, very successful, like, fucking crushed it in business. Her first question from her grandma was, do you have a guy? Yeah. Not how's work. Right. So I'm not apologizing for that, but that's a reality that, like, don't tell me it's raining.

when you're not holding an umbrella. Like, that's, you know, a reality that, like, I think sucks. Like, I'm with you. I'm not just saying that to pander. Yeah. I'm just telling you, like, that's true. A lot of people bail on the bachelorette. I have friends who are like, I watch a bacheloret and not the bachelorette.

I'm like, hmm, that's an interesting. It's an interesting thing. Thank you so much for coming on, Jared. Thanks for having me. This was so much fun. Yeah, it was so much fun. So excited to see how this fucking ends. I'm excited to see it.

Let's do it one more time. Oh, bring her back to us. I really want to eat it up. I want to chew up the scenery, ready? Bring her back home. Is it bring her back home? It's not even her fucking house. You know how crazy that is bring her home to us.

Bees bitter. My dying wish, oh. I'm dying. Ustead is Albanyo Peter Like all of a sudden she has an accent Like it's crazy I'm peeing my pants

So tell everyone where they can You know see you find you and pee At Jared Freed on Instagram That's where it all happens And this comes out You have listeners all over the place I'm sure Like even India I love India

So I'm doing Mumbai next week No I'm playing the moon By Chuckle Hut. I, if you're in Boston, I'm going to be at Laugh, Boston, March, is this, March 19th through 21st, okay? And you got to get tickets now because they're all running out. Do you do bachelor's stuff? I do, I open with Bachelor material.

Oh, that's good. And then if you like, bring your friends that don't watch. Like, I don't do a Bachelor joke that's like inside, like, baseball. I'm not like, well, Hannah's left fucking clavoc. Like, I'm not, like, doing that. Your boyfriend's going to love it. Your friends are going to love it. It's for the whole group chat.

So Boston, March 19th through the 21st. And then I'm at Gotham in April, April 17th and 18th. And, uh... That's in New York. It's, uh, so New Yorkers, if you're out there. And then Providence and, uh, Long Island and, uh, I'll go fuck myself. Jaredfree.com is where you can find all that. Thank you for having me.

I have to change my underwear. I peed. Thank you for having me. This is fantastic. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. If you listen to the podcast, make sure you follow on Instagram and obviously vice versa. Please, please, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts.

Just click on five stars. And if you have time to write a review, please write a review as well. That's the way, aside from listening, that you support the podcast and show your love. Thank you to the podglomerate for doing everything for the show, making the show. what it is being my other half to this project. And I will see you guys next to say, eh, eh, eh, eh.