Not Skinny But Not Fat - Bailey Taylor’s First Summer House

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Fresh off of Season 10’s 3 part reunion, Summer House’s Bailey Taylor stopped by to discuss the Amanda & West scandal, how she got on the show, if she’s coming back next season, what’s really going on with Carl, how the OG girls welcomed her and more!This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episodeVisit crocs.com or a store near you to find your perfect pair of Classic Clogs!All new season of Love Island UK, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disbey+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.Find bottle Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your gas or groceries.Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.comGo to quince.com/notskinny for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Use code AMANDA for 15% off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing wireless bras, and so much more at knix.comText NOTSKINNY to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. New customers can get 15% off sitewide at magneticme.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. What is up, everybody? This is Amanda, your host of Not Skinny Bonafed, the podcast you press on. So you know exactly where you are.

Welcome back. Welcome back to a new show. I hope everyone's feeling well. I'm, you know, sweating, schvitzing here in New York and 95 degrees. It's like New York. Could you chill the fuck out and like choose a lane? Like it's either freezing or you feel like you're walking behind of us. Why?

Why, though? But by the way, I, as you might know, this is why I don't complain about New York winters. Because it's not like the summers are that great. You know what I mean? It's not like you're like at the beach. Like you go to the beach. That's in Long Island. Okay.

And that's further than you think. With traffic, by the way, do you know that? with traffic, the summer house people whose house is in like Montauk, it could be a four-hour drive on like Friday. So I don't know how they did that every weekend. I don't know how they didn't complain more about traffic, probably because they were being paid. Anyway, that leads us in, summer house, summer house, all everyone can talk about, all anyone can talk about. It's such a weird feeling. I'm like over it. I'm over it. I'm so over it. We need a new new word for over. But I'm also obviously can go into like spirals and only think about that. Like after I watched

the third part of the reunion, I was like trying to figure out what mental illness West has. You know what I mean? I was like, this is not Jacks, you know, this is not Sandoval. This is nuttier, you know, like this is nuttier. Like, the way he behaved at the reunion felt like American psycho to me. It felt like zero emotion. Like, play a player to the fucking extreme. This isn't like a normal man cheats on wife, you know.

this is like, he said, in his own words, I let on a zillion girls. He said a zillion. So if he's saying a zillion, that means a gillian zillion, million, billion, okay? And we're just sitting there being like, he's literally telling you he's like,

insane. Like, maybe a sexaholic, you guys. Maybe like a sex addict. Sex addict sounds more legit. Sexaholic sounds like, so you're sexaholic. Amanda is going to be fucked by, him. You know what I mean? Like, this is, he's not well. And he, I don't think he's just going to get well

because he found somebody who maybe likes or is stuck with in a situation because he obviously has a deep fucking issue, which I don't even know at this point. I'm like, skirt. You know what I mean? At this point, I'm like, and my sister goes to me yesterday, like, I made a you were fooled. And I was like, I was like, I was. Because when I met him at the Threads dinner, I was like, I came home and I was like, oh my God, was like, I was like under the spell. I was under the spell. I was like, I get it. I see. see it and I'm like, damn, he knows. He fucking knows what to do. It's crazy, you know?

And but I'm like, why? Why be in a fucking committed relationship with Mija? Tell her your exclusive and lead her on. Why not just be up front with these girls and say, like, I'm not interested in a relationship. Do without what you will. And then at least you're being honest. Like that actually disturbed me more than anything. Like I feel like the West v. Sierra is fucking over.

Okay. Like, you know, that's like she even said she's less disappointed in him than in Amanda. Like, he's a piece of shit. Amanda to Sierra is the issue. And then, like, looking at West, the issue was West to women, like to every woman ever. So I don't know really how Amanda thinks she could be different when, like, look at him. And he's sitting there not even defending himself saying, I'm not a psychopath. I swear, I have a heart.

He's sitting there saying, I hear you. Wow, yeah, you're right. like whether or not that's a method you went into the reunion in mind with being like, I'm just going to agree and tell everyone I'm a piece of shit. It's still like, if you didn't think you were a piece of shit, wouldn't you try to say like, hey, I'm not that big of a piece of shit? Anyway, so luckily this week's guest, okay, is from the summer house. I had to bring her in to break this reunion down with me, discuss her time at the summer house

as a newbie, what she thinks about the Amanda and West scandal. Is she left with any questions after the reunion? Will she be coming back? And what the hell is up with girl? It's Bailey Taylor. I'm not the first pod that you've done. It was Carl, was that your first? I had done random ones already, but yeah, that was like my first, like, since being on Summer House.

That was sweet. He's the best. We need to talk. I'm going to start with that then. I'm going to start with Carl. Bailey's here. From Summerhouse, everybody. She's so gorge.

More people needed to talk about that, no? Like, why, hello? Yeah, why are we talking about this more? Agreed. First of all, second of all, I've loved you from the beginning of the season. I thought you were such a great addition. I feel like it's kind of a consensus. People are really liking you as a new cast member, which is hard to do.

Were you scared? Okay, so before Carl, were you scared to join this? terrified, absolutely terrified. Before everything came out, I was so scared. I just was like, everyone's going to hate me, but I've gotten such a positive, overwhelming positive response. Wait, were you scared for the public to hate you or the house people? Both, honestly. Like, when I first got there, I really, really struggled at first to like chill out and let my guard down and just like, it was just hard. Maybe you let your guard down on like the first day. You cried, no? I know. Unfortunately, yes, I did cry immediately. I was like, I don't. I don't. I don't. I

don't know. I don't know. I don't have an answer for myself on that one. Like, it was, it was, a bigger conversation. And then I was talking about, like, really, I was talking about a lot of loss that I faced during that time. And then I just started crying. And then I was like, well, no, I've cried in front of these people. Well, I thought that was very sweet. Thank you. But I, they were really nice to me about it. They could have, like, really, like, all of the housemates were really sweet about it. They totally could have been like, you freak. Why are you crying? But they were really sweet. I feel like it's so intimidating to go in. First of all, I find, like, every one of them intimidated.

You know what I mean? Like even I remember when Amanda came on the pod pre-scandal, the first thing I said to her was like, you've always intimidated me. You know what I mean? Because I feel like they give off the like kind of clicky vibes, you know, when they've been in the house for so long. You don't have like, I had already known Amanda,

and so I was comfortable with her. How did you know her? But through our friend Dylan. My friend Dylan works for Loverboy. Oh, I met her. Dylan that's had an excess at the roster for a revoke. She's the best. No, she's hilarious.

She's awesome. Wait, so how do you know each other? I knew her just from like PR stuff and like events. Oh my God, she's so funny. We became friends and it was always like in the back of my mind that she worked at Loverboy and I never really like thought anything of it. And then yeah, she just kind of like introduced me to more people. But I, it wasn't, no one was clicky. It was just like there's history that you're, you know what I mean?

It's just like there's when I'm sitting with my best friend, when I'm with Levi, it's like we have 9,000 things. talk about. If a new person comes in, it's like, okay, we got to catch you up. There's a lot. You know? So it was just, and it's a lot of people at once. It's a lot of people at once. Like, I just was like, oh my God, I went from living with no people to living with so many people. Have you done the shared house? No, I had not. It's so weird. Like, I haven't either, but it's so weird that it is something that people do. They're like, I've done tons of sharehouses. Yeah. And you're like, where are people signing? Where are they getting? Where do they meet? I'm like, I don't know 15 people. Like, I don't even let alone want to live with 15 people. I don't

know that many people. So it just, yeah, I had never done it and I had never lived with that many people. It's a very weird experience. Have you watched all the season? No. Stop. Don't you lie to me right now. I swear hand to God. And I get so many messages like, did you not watch every season. And I was like, not even a little bit. I saw season one when I was in college. I watched all of season one and then I never watched again. So, okay, so how did you end up on the show? It just, I don't know, it just kind of like fell into place. It was just like a friend of a friend and it just, yeah. A friend of a friend asked you to, like, test for it or something? It was like they were looking for best friends.

How do you feel about, like, how much we saw of you and what came across on the show? Of me? Yeah. I'm very happy. I truly went into it. There was not one, like, even when I cried, I was like, no one's ever going to see that. Like, I just kind of thought you're so. They're going to just cut around you the whole summer.

I really thought that. I really was like, I'm not really like that relevant. So it just doesn't, like, what I'm doing doesn't really matter. I just did not think. I was like, they'll pop me in here. and there. Like, everything's going to go as it normally goes. They're going to pop me in it.

But there was a lot of me. And I was like, oh, man, this is like real. Like, I actually am a part of this. And it didn't, it wasn't until it started airing that I was like, yeah. Okay. So I was a part of this. But no, I'm very happy with everything. I feel like it was very.

But you were prepared. I was very prepared to be in it, not at all. Stop. I did not even think you'd see my face in the trailer. I literally was like, girl, I'm not going to be in it. And do you and Levi have conversations about like, does she say like I wish I was in it more? Yeah, she definitely wishes she was in it more. Yeah.

It's hard. You don't know, like, what's going to happen. You don't know what's going to happen, and there's so many people. There were so many people this year. Is she single? Yes. Yeah, and you're two single girls. Like, but you didn't, aside from the Carl thing, you didn't really vibe with the guys in that way, right?

Like, you weren't, you and Jesse, like, you know, was there any vibe there? Jesse was seeing someone, which he talks about on the show. Okay. He was seeing someone West. We found out later, had a girlfriend. Right. Kyle's married. They're saying that it was then.

I was trying to do the timeline. I don't know what I can say, but this was a long time. Well, the Mihas stuff. Yeah. That was a long time. So he had a full-blown girlfriend. Jesse was seeing someone which he talked about on the show. Okay.

So he was like very in that. And Kyle obviously married. Right. Carl. Amazing. Love Carl. Ben had a girlfriend. You're still, you stand.

by that, that he had a girlfriend, what, from the beginning? Even if he didn't, okay, even if I'm completely dead wrong, he was dating someone by like three weeks in, so what difference does it make? Wait, was it weird to you? The whole, okay, the storyline in the beginning was like, you don't know how to flirt. You get awkward in those situations. Is that true?

Yes. Yes. It's extremely true. That was like, no one, that was not like thought of. That was just really, my bad flirting was just happening on a daily basis, but everyone was like, God. Like, you were told this before, in life by like your friends. Yes. Levi's told me that a million times. They tell me that now. They're like, oh my God, you're the worst, you're the worst, you're the worst. Like, what do you do?

Do you not give off? Crumble and I push away. I like, I mean. I mean. No, I mean, they say. They normally are like, well, she hated me. And I'm like, I didn't. Yeah, it's, it's bad. I didn't. I swear. It's really bad. So you were hot for Ben at the beginning. Now I feel like that you Could you even get back to that feeling? No. You're like, how did I? Not at all. Yeah, no.

What was the vibe you got off him? At first, I thought he was nice. Yeah. I had said, nobody, it did, nobody saw it, but I said like a million times we did not have a personality connection in any capacity. There was no personality. You just thought he was good looking. I just thought he was good looking.

That was it. Yeah. That was literally it. Like you did not go any deeper. We had no vibe. He, like, there was no vibe. I mean, he says on the reunion, we never had a conversation, which was a flat-out lie. That was crazy.

That was a crazy lie. I was like, that's just, and I was like, you know how many cameras over in that house? Like, we could prove it. Like, there's 10,000 conversations. But no, we had no vibe whatsoever. He was not into it. Totally fine. There was no personality mesh whatsoever.

It was literally just like, oh, he's the most good-looking one here. Did that feel weird? Like, are you used to, like, rejection at all? Like, is that feel weird to, like, be, like, saying, like, this guy's so hot, this guy's so hot. and he's just like, okay. I wouldn't say I'm like used to rejection. No. No.

Like, how do you handle that? I mean, who cares? Like, he didn't, like, whatever. Who cares? He didn't like me. That's fine. Like, I truly could not care less. Truly could not care less.

Okay, so what's the deal with how mad he got about the Amanda comment that you said that? And how do you feel about that now? Do you regret saying that? I always regretted saying that from the second I said it. Well, actually not the second I said it because I said it. And then I was just like, doop, boop, did not notice that anyone was upset. Did not notice at all. I was drunk.

Like, I just, I literally thought nothing of it. I thought we were all getting ready to go out. I went upstairs and I was like, nobody said anything. Nobody said anything. I didn't notice anybody's face. I didn't, like, I noticed nothing. When he came upstairs, I was like, what is he doing? I was so confused.

I was literally like, what, what? I think he says, like, what's up? And I'm like, in life. Like, what are you doing in here? I was so confused that he was up there. And then he started talking and I was like, what? I mean, I just always thought the skinny dipping thing was so weird and so inappropriate. And so then I thought the fact that they joked about it was really weird and inappropriate.

But it's not my place. And I shouldn't have made the joke. But do you think that they took it too serious? Like they took it too seriously? Yes. Like it could have been laughed off. If no one said anything. Yeah. The world never would have known that I said that. And it would have gone nowhere. Like he made it a 10 billion times bigger thing by freaking out. And I was just like, this is so weird. And if we had truly never spoken before, that would be insane of him to come into my room. How does that feel in that moment? Did you feel like, I mean, you said in your confessional, like a guy, you've never had a guy like, right? Like yell at you in that way. I hadn't since like my last relationship and I just was like, oh my God. And really like a guy friend. No, I've never had a confrontation with a guy friend like that. And I was, I did not like it as we know. Like it felt. It just felt unnecessary. Yeah. It was like, like I said, I just felt over the top.

I just was like, this is so, like, it just did not feel necessary at all. He could have waited until I came back downstairs and been like, hey, I'd appreciate if you don't joke anymore about that. Like, it really made me feel weird. And I would be like, oh, my God, I'm so, so sorry. He could have said it like on the, on the fly, you know, like, you could have waited until I was done getting ready and came back down. We were all going to go out. So I was like, you could have said it then. You could have said it in the morning when we have breakfast.

You know you're going to see me the fact that it needed to be right that second. You needed to come into my room while I was by myself. Yeah. And, like, just storming and sit on the bed and step on my stuff. He was so upset. If you had to, like, psychoanal it. Like, where is that coming from? That he was that upset about it.

I don't know. I feel like I've let him have it. And it's, like, done. So it's okay. Like, I feel like I've, we've buried it. Like, I really let him. He defended him after the reunion. Because at the reunion, yeah, at the reunion, you let him have it, which I, I, don't back down.

You were good at the reunion. I thought that was great that you said how you felt. I am. There are people that are, like, stop backing down. I am definitely not backing down. I stick by saying that he, when a woman is wrong, he always has something to say. And then when a man is wrong, he does not. You're saying that he was like going to make out with Kyle.

Kyle was just so wrong so many times. And I'm like, you were right. You and Kyle are like, you're holding him. You're like, yes, Kyle. No, when he took Kyle's hat off to get a proper hug, I was like, that's the most romantic thing I've ever seen. And it's like Kyle had been in the wrong so many times that summer. And I was just like, you have never said a word against any of these guys when they do something

wrong. Like a lot of things that happened that I was like, they've done so many things that you should be mad about. Yeah. I guess it's like now that you're talking about it and I'm trying to picture it, I'm like, okay, Jesse and West, for example, and put aside everybody how much you disdain West right now. But like, we've never seen them sit one of the girls down and be like, I don't like when you do this. Or they're all they do is like blow smoke up the girl's asses. And Ben, there was your issue, but there was also the issue with Amanda, which I feel like people also gloss over maybe because of the West and Amanda drama. Nobody cared to, you know, that scene was just like, by the way.

But he was also from, like, loving Amanda saying she brightens up every room, which, by the way, that's a very romantic thing to say. And in her eyes. And he said at the beginning, like, the thing he looks for first in a woman is their eyes. And then he's like talking about her. I was like, I thought you were flaring. That's more romantic than saying he wants to fuck her almost. I thought they were like flirt.

It was like, it was still a bad joke and they still should not have said it. Yeah. By the way, I want to tell you something. I would blurt something out like that too. Yeah, I do. Like, you didn't commit a crime. You said what you thought at the moment. That's what makes reality TV.

You fucking said it. Like, people can calm the fuck down, everybody. The reason I do want to say, the reason I said something is because, one, I am really good friends with Sabrina and I love her so much. And I really support them and, like, totally want them to be happy. She is a doll. She is just literally one of the best people I've ever met. How can you become so?

close with her when you're not good with him. I just talk to her and not him, basically. But I love her. And he and her were both getting a ton of messages saying that, like, he would, I'm trying to think of like a right way to phrase it, but like that he would ever be physical with a woman or like he, that he's abusive to her. Like things are going on behind closed doors that people were saying were a lot. These like horrible things were going on behind closed doors. And I was like, that's not what I said and that's not what's happening. And I never felt physically threatened by him. I went out of my way not to use the word abuse. I did not feel that that was the appropriate word. And I was like, I was very cautious with how I spoke about it. And I didn't like how he spoke for Sabrina in that

moment, to Sabrina in some of those moments. Do we see them on the show? These are moments that we didn't say. Yes. It was things people saw. And I was like, I didn't like how he spoke to her. But that was me, that wasn't me speaking on behalf of Sabrina. She didn't say anything. It was on my own behalf. And so I felt the need to say something because people were just taking it way. There's a difference between, oh, he needs to take a look at how he talks to women when he's upset. versus how he talks to men. And then there's accusations of physical abuse. I was like, it got way too out of hand.

And I was like, by the way, when I said. So that, but that's why I said something is it wasn't me trying to backtrack on like what I said. It was just like, okay, people, this is going way too far. I like that you posted that post. And I was saying don't backtrack. I meant like physically you now in the chair, like I want you to give me the tea. Yeah.

But your story, I know how Bravo fans can get. So I think that was very well done. and probably necessary. I didn't know they were taking it that far. I did see Sabrina posted, you know, that she loves him, then he's respectful. And that's her man. I expect her to let, like... Did she say anything to you about?

We saw her. And we talked on, like, we talk on the phone. Like, I love her. She's great. And it's very, I try to be as respectful as I can to their relationship and as respectful to her and make it clear that, like, I'm not speaking on behalf of her. I'm speaking on behalf of myself, my own personal experience, what I felt. And...

So she wasn't mad at you? No, she's so mature. She was like, here's what I, here's what you said that upset me. Here's what didn't upset me. Like, here's how I feel. Here's what I think we should do moving forward. I value our friendship. I value our friendship so much as well.

And just like being respectful towards each other and just like, she's just really wonderful. And I'm like, I don't want it to come, go on her. And I also, there's a, like, it can be buried. Like he doesn't need to be demolished for the rest of his life. I'm not trying to ruin anybody's life or business or life. No, but it's not that. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. Like he did something that upset me. I handled it. And it's like, okay, people, we can.

It might have, listen, things have a ricocheting effect. Okay. It's not that deep. Correct. Did it give probably a lot of girls the ache just in general from looking at him in one way and being like, oh, cute Australian blue eyes to being like, oh, oh, probably. But that's not on you. Like that was a scene in the show that he participated in. And so, so. So please don't don't take that on you. I loved what you said at the reunion. I think you got it out. And then you went to the audience and said, calm the fuck down, which sometimes they need to be checked. We'll be right back after the break. We've talked before about how, for me, makeup, remember? Like, I used to say, skincare is my makeup.

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and it adds just a touch of elegance to a classic shoe. There's even a gibbet's charm for anyone. Visit crox.com or a store near you to find your perfect pair of classic clogs. And we're back. Okay, the kiss with Carl. was I'm like a kid, like I will dissect a kiss on TV also on like shows like TV,

like not just reality. And I'm like, I want to see tongue. I want to see movement. I can tell when it's like no chemistry. That was a good kiss. It was a great kiss. It was, it looked perfect. How the hell from a kiss like that do you not like, does it not keep going? You even said in a scene, Carl, stay out here when you were trying to get him to stay like, I'll make out with you again. I was starting to make out with him again. And I'm trying to calm him down because I just really did not want him a guy to beat. I did not want him to beat up Kyle. No, but like how did that get him to stay? Like, how didn't that kiss ignite something more? I, I mean, I can't speak for him. I don't know. But like, we've hung out a lot and we talk all the time.

And like, I've expressed my interest. But also we're, we're, there's a 10 year age gap and we're in very, very different places. I still have not dated since my past relationship. It has been almost three years and I have still not had anything. that went on for like more than a few dates or like anything bigger than a situation. Like I have not had any kind of serious relationship. I'm terrified of it. I have no idea how it's going to go. Like I am in, I'm still kind of a shell when it comes to dating. We've seen my flirting, not good. And he's like knows exactly what he wants. He's like ready to settle down. He's older. He knows he is so secure and like really has it figured out. I could not be more opposite in the dating realm. Do you feel like as much as you say I love Carl, do you feel like it's

it's maybe not realistic that you'd be dating. I think long term it's not realistic, but that does like we still, we're very flirty and we like I adore him. I love him. I love spending time with him. I talk to him all the time. I talk to him the most of anybody without a doubt.

Really? I love him. I go to softbar. I love him. I think he is so special and so wonderful. That's so sweet. But for someone not that's older and knows what they want, not to want to date someone who's like a shell of a human being

when it comes to dating is not crazy. Like, I don't judge. What do you think about people thinking that him and Lindsay, because they're nice to each other, that that means that, like... I mean, if that, like, I don't think that that's a thing because I know them. But if they did, I love Lindsay as well. I want everybody to be happy and I want everybody to be with their person. And it's like, if I'm not someone's person, that's totally fine.

But you don't think that that's really. I don't think so. Yeah. I feel like, no, I don't think that at all. But if they did, like, I would not be a hater in any way. Lindsay, would you say she was one of the girls that welcomed you the most? Yes. Oh my gosh.

She's very good at welcoming new people. Yeah, she really is. I think she does it every single time, which is really to her credit. She was amazing. She is a good friend. I love her so much. I don't know. I don't, like her and I had a lot of conversations too because I was like, I like

Carl is that okay, blah, blah, blah. And we talked about it and she like gave me her sandwich. She literally was like watching you guys make out. She loved that. Like she, no, yeah. She's amazing. I could see Lindsay like getting a little freaky like that, like that turning her on, you know what I mean? I don't, I can't see for that.

Like, did you feel welcomed by Amanda and Sierra? Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot going on just because I feel like the Amanda and Kyle of it all that it was just like, that was a mess. And I was like, I don't, I didn't really want to be in it. Like it was just a lot. Yeah. And they were.

So there was a lot of like deep conversations that I didn't interject myself into. Like you didn't think to hop in the bed and be like, I'm a bed back. No, they're talking about like deep long term. serious, like, marital issues. I'm not like, you know, but Mia, I love Mia so much. I talk to her all the time. She's fabulous. She's really, she's even more special than I feel like people got to see. Like, Mia's really a special person. Sierra's a really special person. And, no, I did not have an experience where I felt like I had a positive experience with the woman. And you also had your best friend there. That's the other thing. Even though we're not seeing a ton of her.

Is she there with you every weekend? She wasn't there every weekend. Like, if you don't see her at all, she's not there. Yeah. But like there's a ton of times where you'll see like a little glimpse of her. She was there that weekend. But if you don't see her period, especially like we shared a room.

So you would know. If you see me alone in the room, believe I was not there that weekend. Was it harder for you on weekends when she wasn't there? Did you feel like it forced you maybe like? It pushed me out of my comfort zone and I feel like it made me develop my relationships

with everybody more. But of course, like who doesn't want their best friend? And that was the other thing is like Amanda and Sierra and Mia had their besties. Yeah. And then me and Levi had each other. So it was never like I was like, oh my God,

I'm by myself. Like, no, I was laying in bed hanging out with my best friend. That's where I wanted to be. Unless she wasn't there, though. Unless she wasn't there. And then I would go hang out with the girls and it was fine. And I hung out with Mia and Lindsay a lot. And like, it was like.

What happened with Dara? Nothing. What does that mean? No, it's like there's beef. There's no beef. It's not beef. So what is it? You're getting weird.

What can you say? Nothing. Nothing. Like, there's no beef. It's just like. Bailey. Okay. Bad at flirting.

Bad at lying. Okay, great. Yeah. You know, nothing. It really, like, there's nothing. Just don't get along, maybe. Yeah. Just, but, like, happy for her and.

Did they break up? Did you see? I don't know. You don't know. I can't confirm or deny that. People are loving what she said at the reunion. I, when she came out and said all that, I literally went, you don't see it, but I went, damn.

I was like, oh. Oh, yeah? Yeah, she read him. She just spoke her truth and spoke the truth. And I thought she. So you're not going to tell us, is it something we're going to see? Like, or you're just not wanting to talk about, like the Dara thing. It's just not the thing that people think it is.

It's really like not everybody's best friends and we're all positive and we're keeping it positive. We all love KJ to death. He's the best ever. I just love him so much. You hung out with him too? Yeah, he's wonderful. Wonderful. Kind of read you.

There's just nothing to it. It's all, like, truly it's all positive. There's nothing to it. There's nothing to it. It's just not everyone's besties. Okay. So, okay. You're hanging out with Carl the most.

Lindsay, Mia, KJ. Is that kind of like who? And Jesse. And Jesse. Have you gone and seen him on tour? I went to his. I literally left. I had box tickets at Sabrina Carpenter at Madison Square Garden.

And I left early to go to Jesse's first show. At the Brooklyn? Yes, in Brooklyn. And I was like, I was like, I'm so sorry I have to go to another show. And I left Sabrina Carpenter. The best piece I was ever going to have in my life for Sabrina. carpenter at a suite of Madison Square Garden to go to Jesse's show. That you were invited to by like a brand or something?

Yeah, I was with a brand. And I was like, Jesse, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And I went. That's so sweet. I love him. He is a talented singer. He majored in jazz in college. Like, he doesn't not have a musical background.

He loves that. People warmed up. I think, I mean, you're now in the Bravo world and I'm happy that people, that you're getting a kind of positive response, right? But it's rough out there. No, it is. As you can see. It is.

And I've seen it. When I first said, when I made that joke, it was not all of. Like that day, yeah. That day was bad. And I was like, oh, okay, this can turn. So no, I know how it is. So when I saw the Jesse music career start and him posting, literally you guys, every

comment on TikTok was not now, Jesse. Like, by the way, people have a sense of humor, so they try to be funny. Like, not now, Jesse or whatever. And I'm like, wow, like that must like, the way they were talking about at the reunion, like not only are you putting yourself out there doing something like vulnerable and new and whatever, but like just super hateful, it flipped. And that's what happens with reality TV. You never know when you're going to be up or down. So I do feel like hopefully he's feeling that he's getting more love now, maybe thanks to a little bit of West. But he did seem super emotional the

whole reunion. Was that just about the whole time about, was it just about the Amanda and West situation that he was upset about? Yeah, I think he's just like, that was his best friend. And I feel like He, I'm speaking on, on his behalf. This is just my opinion of what I think he was upset about. But he like, he cried the whole day and it was making me so sad. I kept looking over at him and he kept crying. And then I was like crying, looking at him. It was making me so sad.

Pretty much everybody cried. Almost everyone cried on both couches at one point, everyone cried except two people. But Jesse was really upset. And I think he was upset because like his best friend is probably no longer going to be with him on this journey. Like he doesn't trust him anymore. he feels lied to, as everybody did. It's like we all got lied to our faces. At least I got lied to twice.

I can't imagine how much like Sierra Kyle Jesse, how many times they got lied to. So it's just like, we all got lied to for a long time. It really spiraled. And I think he was just like, like if that were Levi, I would be devastated. Would you stop being friends with her is the question?

Levi does something. That's like a question that I don't know. Like I don't think it necessarily means that Jesse can't be friends. with West again. Well, I just think probably the trust is like so broken that he's just like, are you kidding me? And losing him, like, it's a really rare unique journey and losing your best friend on

that sucks. Like having your best friend as a part of it is probably the best part. Yeah. That makes all the bad worth it when you have someone you can lean on. And it's like he's losing that. And he doesn't trust his friend anymore. I just would wish that people wouldn't not be open to. working on relationships with them because of public opinion.

Because that's another part of it, right? Like, how will this look if I'm friends with the, like, morally bankrupt people? Yeah. You know, like, it might look bad for Jesse. People may not buy concert tickets, you know? Like, it's so layered when you're on TV, you know, and in the public eye. But I do feel like the way when West said to K. When KJ said to us, I'm open to having a conversation, no one's going to judge KJ for that.

Like, KJ is, you know, he has. has a right to fucking talk to him. Yeah. And I hope that people don't judge. What, when did you find out about West and Amanda? Based, like, essentially when everybody else did. When you said, like, I deserve an apology, you made me lull. I love that moment.

I don't even remember that. You said it at the reunion. I did. I think so. You were like, I didn't get an apology. Well, all of us got dragged into. I feel like every single one of us deserved an apology. Yeah.

Like, all of us got dragged into this huge, huge, huge scandal. How did you feel like you personally got dragged, though? Just I the day it came out I walked into an event with Jesse KJ and Levi and everybody looked at us like we were like we'd done something wrong and I was like oh people screaming at me on the street people coming up and like grabbing me asking me asking me if I knew accused like just

people lost their mind I don't like that three days when that came like people lost their minds. How shocked were you when you found out the rumor? I was suspicious because I had seen them and it was the same day Jesse got suspicious. It was the brunch day. We all got suspicious.

And I said something to Levi. Was this the same day? She kissed Kyle? Yes. Okay. So you said... And that really threw me off because I was like she was fully

like hardcore kissing Kyle. She says they like pecked. I was like, that's not one of those off. What? Like tongue? No, no. I didn't see tongue. But it was like,

she was like holding his face and they were kissing and I was like, are they secretly back together? So first I was like, conspiracy theory, they're back together. And then she was just being super weird about West. And I said something to Levi. I was like,

those two are being. weird. And I was like, I don't know what's going on there. And then the rumor started to come out. And then I said to leave. I was like, do you think I was right? Like that they were being, I thought they were being so odd. They were both at the brunch and they were being weird together. Yes. Just like not how they normally act. And I was just like very suspicious and she was just being off. But then she said, looked me dead in the eye and said nothing's going on. Oh, you asked? I saw her at we did a Hot Ones episode. All of us. Yeah. And she was like absolutely not. I can't believe I can't have friends anymore. And so we were like, okay. And then even like when the rumors were out, I was like, okay, they've hooked up maybe or like something. I still, I did not know anything. And then they like, I did not know until they made the announcement. And then they made the announcement. And I was like, and then I texted Carl and I was like, I don't think they're together.

I don't think this is like a thing. And Carl's like, wait, you're going to find out more. And Carl seemed really upset. He really did seem a mess. He was really upset. And I was like, Carl's very upset about this. So there obviously is more that I don't know. And I just kind of like waited and watched with everybody else as it trickled and I was finding things out.

So they didn't talk to you? No, I talked to her a little bit, but she wasn't like, here's what happened. Here's when it happened. Like she just was like, I feel like I've really, you know, disappointed. Like I, you know, that sentiment and but not like, here's the timeline. Here's what happened. Here's what's been going on. But in the summer, did you vibe with Wes?

Like, did you see what everyone sees in him? The like fun. We were friends. Yeah. He was sweet with you. He was so sweet to me. I remember seeing him being touchy with you. and me kind of pointing to that

when people were theorizing that it started over the summer. Yeah. I was like, look how he's like massaging Bailey. We were friends. I mean, the whole house is like touchy and stuff. It was never a thing at all. And it didn't bother me. Like we're all,

I feel like I'm like that with Jesse too. Like he would like hug me and sway with me. And like we just were like, it's a very touchy weird. We're in each other's beds. Like it's just kind of the vibe. And I'm comfortable with that. I'm super comfortable with that. So Wes never made me uncomfortable.

him and I were good friends. He was always so nice to me. He was always, like, giving me advice and helping me. And never anything but, like, the nicest to me. And, yeah, I... So when you look back at that summer, are you seeing what the Bravo fans are speculating and maybe even Kyle and Sierra speculating

that maybe something started that summer? I mean, it's weird. It's so crazy because, like, I did not see. And at the time, I saw none of that. And but watching back, you see it differently. Watching back, it's weird. Yeah. watching back, there's things that I'm like, oh, he is kissing her head and he like does grab her kind of weird.

But like, I just did not see that at all. I just saw him trying to help her because of Kyle. It was such an awful summer for her. It really, like, it was a horrible summer for her. What did you feel watching Kyle and Amanda seeing the fuck you's like you've spoken about being in an abusive relationship? I'm not calling Kyle abusive, but just those moments where it's not, it's fucked up the way he talked to her. Like, what were you thinking of? that. At the time, I mean, even now, it's, it's horrible to watch. Like, it was horrible to watch. She had a

horrible summer, like watching being there. She was crying most of the summer. Really? Yes. She was really felt broken down and like she was, it was not good and he was not nice to her. Yeah. It was not a good thing to be a part of. It was not. But now we have like all this context into their relationship that we didn't have. We're like that was clearly over. How did you feel like are we, did we, did we, Did we miss anything at the reunion? Like, was it cut? Or were they just not saying anything? I feel like it is very accurate to what the experience was.

Like, you saw what it was like. I don't think that it was like anything major was taken out. Yeah. You're getting most easy. Aren't some of them like an hour and a half? I feel like Tartu was like an hour and a half. Well, I saw Lindsay commented that Amanda was gone for an hour. Did it feel like an hour to you?

It did not feel like an hour. to me, I did see that. It did not feel like an hour to me. It was definitely no question 20 to 30. Yeah. But it did not seem like an hour to me. But I'm not good with time. We know this. We know that I say things are 10 minutes and they're an hour. We know I say things are three hours and they're four minutes. So let's not take any of my time. Yeah. I, I'm not good at the time. I sense on your face at the reunion some sympathy towards Amanda. I did notice at some point that you were maybe like looking at. at her and feeling kind of like bad for her a little bit. I don't think sympathy. Or empathy. Maybe empathy.

I wouldn't say sympathy. It's like these are choices. Yeah. But definitely like, okay, you were in a 10 year horrible marriage that went up in flames. And now your life is ruined. Like I'm just like men kind of are not, you and men maybe need to not like take a break from men. And so that and I just feel like West is going to embarrass her.

so I was thinking that, but not one person on that couch was not like, go Sierra. Like, that was, everyone was like, Sierra, this is your moment to speak your peace. We're all on your side. We all feel for you. Like, we all agree with you. We all, like, I was happy to be sitting on the couch with Sierra. Yeah. I am proud of her.

Like, it wasn't sympathy. It's just like, and it's sad. Like, Kyle was so sad. And her and Kyle really love each other. They really do. Like, there is a basis of love when it comes to them. And there's a deep friendship there. And he was really concerned about her.

And then, like, he would get really. upset and then he would cry for her and then she was crying for it like it was it was like emotional it was it was just i was just sad for everyone there jesse's a jessie's a mess carles jessie's a mess like i i just was like all of these people are heartbroken i'm heartbroken for them sierra lost a dear friend kyle lost his wife like it's just sad i i felt sad for almost everyone up there like i just was like wow this is really heartbreaking but no it wasn't sympathy but yes empathy for someone who was who was in a horrible relationship for 10 years and now is in another horrible relationship. Do you think they will last?

No, I do not. Do you think he's stuck? Like, if he dumps her now. I think they both are kind of stuck. You know, like, I think they're both stuck. Because if they break up, then it's like, what did you do this for? I was shocked they even, like, shared a dressing room with their room. I expected them to, I'm not even joking.

I was like, they're going to show up separately and they're going to be already broken up. I thought they were going to sit down and be like, yeah, we already ended up. But like, doubling down, I'm like, okay, you, I think I'm... I know a shared dressing room is a wild. That shocked me. By the way, that alone, I'm like, pause. Let's sit with this. This is like enough to like give us fucking pause.

What did it feel like in the room when everyone's like, West go after your girl? West go. How awkward was that and how long did it take until he went? I was rolling. I don't think you can see me, but I was like, there were so many things that I like rolled my eyes out or made little comments that you just like, I'm just like not in the shot. And I'm like, oh, I was not happy about that. And that I was like, get up, dude. Like, what are you doing? Like the thing that made me like feel like I should jump up. So I was like, she's going off by herself.

Like, isn't this you two together? Isn't this both of you that did this? And I just felt like he was getting off really easy. And then she got up and he just sat there and looked at all of us. And I'm like, And he was like, I'm staying here for more questions. And yeah, like, I'm just like, where's your, what's your priority? Where's your head? What happens if you see West at a bar right now? I wouldn't talk to him. You wouldn't talk to him?

No. I don't think he would want to talk to me. Really? I don't think we have anything to say to each other. Like, do you feel personally angry? Yeah, I feel like he manipulated Sierra really horribly. And I just, the more that I learned, I learned a lot at the reunion. And the more that I learned, I just was like, ew, you.

screwed with Sierra so much. What about everyone saying that he is a different person filming an off? Did you feel that? I think he's very, I didn't feel that he was a different person, but I felt that he was very calculated. I just was like, hmm, if you don't want people to know something or see something, they're not going to. Like, he just doesn't, like, go in with, like, I want to be vulnerable.

I want to be honest. This is my real self. It's very like he knows what people are going to think. And so he stays quiet a lot of the time. And his silence is very much like a choice I started to gather. I was like, hmm, because behind the scenes. But then he does some things. He's like a talker.

Yeah. Yeah. Like he would, his personality was a little like open. And then all of a sudden on camera, he's got nothing to say. Well, I think he had the bad season when he fucked up, fucked over Sierra the first time and got massive amounts of hate. And he was like, fuck, which is so crazy to think. that he's now in it times a thousand.

Yeah. Because I remember how much he was like sweating through that. Like, fuck, the public hates me. What do I do? What I do? What I do? And then you win them back, like we talked about, because you can do that. He won them back. And now it's like, it's overdue.

The thing that would annoy me is if, like, he skated by, came back to another reality show, and Amanda got, you know, exiled. Like, that's just not fair. It was wild watching him nod. like even when people were like, oh, you're a piece of it said. He's like, I agree. Yeah, he did not. It was, it was, I was, I was, most of the time when he was talking, I was like this.

Like, what are you even saying? Like, I just was like, why do you not? Like, I'm, it was like, it just wasn't clicking. And I didn't feel like Sierra's pain was like, like anyone's pain. Jesse crying. I was like, do you, like, he's devastated. You've broken your heart. Do you not have feelings?

Seer's devastated. Look at her. Like, she's crying. You don't. Like, he just didn't seem to have any, like, care. Like, I just was like, these people are all heartbroken. Kyle's heartbroken.

That's your friend. And he said, sorry, but he just looked very, I don't know, he just looked very flat and be like, we're in love. And this took over. And this is. And if, yeah, I, again, I can't speak on anyone's behalf, but I'm like, maybe, hey, I could be wrong. Maybe it is like the truest, true love ever.

And it does, I don't, I don't, I don't, I really don't know. That's the thing that annoyed me is like, own that. Yeah. We'll be right back after the break. You guys yell me for eating on your ear, but I'm going to eat in your ear, okay? Because this episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Our exclusive snack hydration and coffee sponsor IQ bar, protein bars, which I'm eating right now, Icuk mix hydration mixes, and IQ Joe mushroom coffees are the delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel you need to win your day.

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Yeah. I did not know that. The overlap there. How he was like fully had a girlfriend. And then he doesn't explain himself. He just says like, sorry or I take accountability or I agree. And you're like, explain it. at least be like angry.

Be like, no, I was dating me in September. Yeah. You know, like, give us fucking something. Did you have a question that wasn't answered? That you wanted an answer to. I mean, I still think the timeline's a little fuzzy. I don't think any of us felt satisfied with the answers there. Like, I think we're all like, and there's that whole like Super Bowl thing where like.

Right. Right. With the Brianna. And that was happening at the Super Bowl. Came from West, by the way, which is what, first of all, like, I love the Brianna. She's like, she's like, West told me at the super. I'm telling you, he's very talkative and, like, he'll say things in real life. And then you get a can't.

And then he just like, bloop. And you're like, okay, he's not saying what he was saying two days ago. Right. I think I get what you're saying because even in the reunion, I'm like, this is a choice. Yeah. Sitting there, not saying fucking anything, doing that weird shit with your lips. You at home were like, if I say nothing, maybe it's better. And then people can't be mad at me for that.

That's his thing, I think, is like, say nothing. And it's just like, but when you know him, he doesn't say nothing. Right, like it doesn't align. He has like a backbone and he has thoughts and he has all these opinions. Like, he has them and you hear them. And then when it gets down to crunch time, he just goes silent. Yeah. And that's where I feel like there's a double personality.

But I don't feel like he's like, I didn't have the same feeling with him that like, but I don't know him as well. But like that whole like, oh, you're so funny. I didn't feel he was a total phony. I just feel like when it comes to confrontation, he just chooses to shut up so that he doesn't look bad. He doesn't look bad. Yeah. I did like that. also said at the reunion because we were talking about Kyle's indiscretions and he was like,

I didn't have sex and he was like, I was inappropriate. He goes, thank you, Bailey. I was like, you're welcome. What do you mean? Like, yeah, dude. Well, you said Kyle kissing is cheating. Yeah, because he goes, I didn't cheat on her. I'm like, you made out with another woman that you did cheat on your wife.

Like I just thought like he was, he goes, thank you, Bailey. And I was like, I'm sorry. What? Like, how are you going to say he didn't cheat? Because no one was holding him accountable. That was annoying me. And so that's why I like. said something as I was like, okay, now we're pretending you didn't cheat on your wife.

Like, what are you like? Yeah, like, why can't we just acknowledge? I do value his hurt and I love Kyle and Kyle. I think I'm glad people are seeing this other side of him because he is a really good man. He is. He has his problems, but he is a good man. And but I did feel like he was really like, I'm going to check this off the list. Skating.

Oh, didn't do this. Didn't do that. Didn't do this. And I was like, you're pushing it with me on like, like you did call her that. You did say that. And you did cheat on her. So let's not rewrite the history. But the thing is, Bravo fans can be fucking crazy and that's an annoying.

But they're going to clock you. And they're going to clock you. So even though they're willing to literally like fucking machete a man in and was on the street, they were also like, hold up. We love Kyle. But skirting around everything he did at the reunion, the dumb ass, the fuck you. Yeah. Coyer a bitch.

Like he didn't really. Like I was just like, okay, I feel like we're really pushing it here on the like blurred line. Yeah. And just like if she's going to have her feet held to the fire over the no sex for four years thing, it's like he's got to say he cheated. It's like I just think that's only fair. It's like we're telling her stuff. Like we kind, I don't think it's fair. People shocked in the room when they said the four years.

I didn't know that. I'm sure other people did. I had no clue. That was shocking to me. I'm sure other people knew, but I did not know that. That was shocking. What do you know about? Wait, wouldn't you be filming now?

No. No, it would be July. Right. They don't start July. So I know you can tell me if you're coming back, but would you be happy to come back? I'm open to it. You're open to it.

Yeah. She's not even saying happy. I'm open to it. Yeah. There's so many factors. Like, what do you mean? Just so many factors. I don't know.

It's just like, that was a crazy time. Yeah. Like, who knows what's going to happen? Who knows what next season is going to be? Yeah, exactly. Because we know the OGs moved on to the city. And right. So we don't know about that.

How comfortable are you with talking about? talking a little bit about your your ex because you clearly very you don't mind talking about it at all because you you talk about on the show and you say you were in an abusive relationship and he made you feel not good about yourself what was that relationship like how long was it it was two years it was just a very very very toxic relationship and it was just like the heartbreak of my life for for real like it just like I really wanted to marry that person and it was just like truly my biggest heartbreak was he your age He's a little younger than me.

I think he's two years younger than me. Like toxic in what way? Like were there red flags? Yeah. Bad fights. Really bad fights. He would just be really mean when he was mad. Just like crazy mean when he was mad.

And it's just like bad. Like every bad thing, just like that guy that makes you feel horrible and says every mean thing he can think of to make you feel as bad about yourself as possible. Just like all that kind of stuff. Did he hurt your self-esteem, like your confidence? destroyed it. Really? Destroyed it. And he, I very much went out of his way to try to do that. Like it was every, any insecurity I ever said that I had, he would repeat it back to me when we were in a fight and say, like, you know what, you are this and you are fat and you are ugly and you are this and you are

like just the meanest, yeah, the meanest things. How did you get out of it? He broke up with me. Oh, so you were. Sweet green. Yeah, he broke up with me. I would have said this before, but like I so would have stayed. I did not care. I was like, I was like, I was like, I can make him love me. I can, I can be different and he'll love me. And if I just like do what he wants and like listen to him, this like it'll come back together. You were just like in love with him. Madly. Like was it like a less thing? Yeah. I think now like it was like an intensity. Yeah. And like I have OCD and I think it's really hard for me to like switch gears for that reason. And I think that I get like these deep. things with people because of OCD, like, I think it was like more chemical than like true, real love. So the sweet green story, right? He broke up with you at sweet green. What did he say?

I'm moving out and you dropped the keys. Because you were fully living together. Yeah. Did he order a salad? I had already gotten him on salmon. That's when Kyle goes, oh, one of the more expensive items on the venue. That was good. Kyle is like underratedly hysterical.

Well, Kyle is. And I've said this too. Like I've met him and I think he's so fucking fun. He's so fun and funny. Like, as we've seen him in his relationship, I don't think any girl would be like, that's the guy we want to date. But hell yes, hang out with.

He is the most fun, funny. He is a really just a more dynamic person. And I know he absolutely has his fault. He absolutely makes mistakes. But like justice for Kyle in the sense that he is like, you hear Amanda say she's like, he's so lovable. He really is two seconds with him.

like, I freaking love this guy. Yeah. He's so funny and he does really have a heart. And he's always like nice. He has a heart and he really has a heart for Amanda. And I think that to watch her go through like everything that's happened, he still has so much empathy and love for her. Like that's real love.

Like he really, he really loves her. I'm wondering because you said before that you're very closed off like with the dating. Like how do we, is there a plan in place to? I was literally having a FaceTime with my best friend on the way here. And I was talking about it. I was like, my love life went from a. disaster to non-existent. It's kind of just non-existent at the moment.

It's just there's nothing. But you think it's all due because of that, because of due to that relationship? Yes, that destroyed me for the longest time. But now I'm like, okay, it's been almost three years. Now it's really like, this is on me now, for sure. Like, it's my responsibility to get it together. But no, but that might have like scarred you and traumatize you.

I am definitely very scarred. I don't, I would not trust. I could meet someone right now, marry them for the next 40 years, I would never trust that motherfucker. Never, never. Because of him or maybe now West and Amanda fucking fucked you up more. Men lie. Men really lie. And they like believe their lies. It's not like a lie where they're saying it to get out of getting in trouble. They believe in their core. Their bullshit lies. It's actually really scary. You talked about your OCD. Did you talk about that on the show? I don't think so. Yeah. If I don't think it, I've talked about it

in my confessionals, but I don't think it ever like made sense. But yeah, I have OCD, really bad depression. You were diagnosed when you were younger? Yes. Yes. I've had OCD for a long time. And it's like, I would say depression really gets me and I'm on Prozac, just like the other girlies. I know.

You probably bonded on that. We did. Yeah. We did. I had a very positive experience with the girls. And I feel like they should get credit for that because they, they like talk to me about that. And when I was crying, they would come talk to me and check on me.

And yeah. But yeah, OCD and depression. What? How did your OCD manifest? Because I feel like OCD is a lot of the time kind of stakenly, people think it's just like the knocking or things that you do. Mine is like the obsessive thoughts, like the horribly obsessive thoughts. Like to the point, it just, it's, it's ruminating and ruminating and ruminating and ruminating.

Mine, I literally like remember when it started. I want to say I was like 13 and I, like, I think it just be, I had a really chaotic childhood and I feel like that was like a coping thing and it just like got really, really, really, really bad. And I think it's worse for me, depression. I'm like, okay, I'm sad all the time. I'm sad all the time. And I like know what it is, but the OCD is way worse. Like, OCD will just like take over your brain to the point you don't have control over it. Does the SSRI manage that too? It's supposed to. Yeah. And I guess it does. But I feel like it just kind of numbs me to a point where I'm not thinking about it. But like when it comes through, I like lose my mind. It takes over.

Yeah. And I am like, oh my God, this is a bad day. This is a very, very, very, very bad day. But like, do you have the tools to? I'm a therapist. Okay. I am in therapy. Okay, good. Everyone telling me I need therapy. Wait, what do they tell you need it for the dating stuff? I don't really talk about dating with my therapist because I feel like she's like trying to go further back.

I know. She's like, let's talk about your mom and dad. Like we're really, we're still on my childhood. They always do that though. See, that's why like therapy sometimes gets me because I'm like, I want to talk about today. Yeah, she's not into talking about my dating life. And she's kind of like, I tell her the stories and then she's like, are you stupid or

are you stupid? Like, yeah, obviously bad. Like, where did we go wrong in your childhood that made you think? I think that was acceptable for a man to do that to you. Wait, where did you grow up? Seattle. Oh, okay. Is your family still there?

Yes. And you moved for college? Yes. I went to, I lived in Seattle, and then I moved to Arizona, University of Arizona. Oh, that's a wild party school now? Yeah, it was a great time. Were you in a sorority? No.

Okay. But there are a sorority there. Yes. That's like the thing. That's a thing. That was not my bag. Okay, cool. But Bear Down, U.A., loved it.

Had the best time on my life. Then I moved to L.A. for five years. and then I moved to New York. And what do you like better? Did you like your time in L.A.? No. You didn't? It was not for me.

Really? I'm a New York girl. I'm a little rough around the edges. I think the people in L.A. are just a very different vibe. Yeah, were you living there alone? My sister lived with me for a little bit of the time I lived in L.A., but for the most part, I was there by myself. Yeah, it's hard to be in L.A. by yourself because everything is so, like, secluded.

Like in New York, you go down, you walk around, you see other people. There's no making friends in L.A. So before doing Summer House, you were doing your It Girl show. were you doing anything else? Basically that. Was that like influencing and that? Just that. How did that start?

I missed a message from you from 2023. I know. I know. I know. I know. I tried to have you on. I had the idea. I literally was like,

I had wanted to do it since I moved to New York. I was always obsessed with the street style in New York. And I just felt like there were the girls that were always being featured doing street style stuff. I was like, it's like the obvious girls. Like, what about the PR girls? And the girls that are like run fashion and the girls that are up and coming or like the real Ike girls that are like, even the NEPO babies. I'm like, where are these people that, like, you know are the it girls of New York and, like, are in the social circles and are controlling fashion.

And so I pitched it to Bespoke TV, which is the network that I was on. It's like a digital network. And he got back to me immediately and was like, love it. This is exactly what we need. I'm on board. And then I was like, just give me enough money basically to pay my rent for the next two months. And if in two months it's not cool, you can stop it. But I know I can make this cool. And then it just like trickled and trickled and trickled. And then it became my full-time job. Is it still unbespoke? Is it still there? Now we're transitioning because it got by Iheart. So now it's transitioning to like podcast only.

I still do a street style. Like I did Erica Jane. Like if it's like a really big person and like it makes so much sense and they're here for a press junket and they have 20 minutes, I'll squeeze them in. But 99% of them now are podcast episodes. Oh, you're doing podcast. But you need to do more of the street style too. Keep it going. Being on the street is a little rough.

What? Like what the production? It's cold or it's hot. Like it's just like you're standing outside. There's people. people walking in the middle of it. There's horns and sirens. Like, filming on the street is like hard. Wait, so when did you start this? What year did you start that? I think it was 2023. Did you get any of the girls from the, from the show? No. No? No. Would you?

Yeah. I want to have, I literally was texting me the other day. I was like, you need to come on my podcast. I would have, obviously Sierra's like the busiest person. I know. You can. I would never, ever, ever be like, give me the podcast exclusive. Like, would love to have her. I would have Sabrina. I would have Levi. Oh, but you're not doing the standing. on the street thing anymore. Not really. But you are right. Like when I see the working girlies, I'm like, I need to take inspo from you. Like, they look so cute for work. Like, they know what's And they're the ones that are like making the fashion decisions. I'm like, that's the girl who's like letting you in or not letting you in. Like she is, I love those girls. And I still have them on the pod. Like I like having people who I'm like, okay, you're an undercover it girl. Like you're a pioneer and I know who you are. But I don't think girls realize like what you're doing at Vogue or what you do at the Met Gala.

and how much in charge you are and what you're doing. Yeah. I love those girls. So you're super into fashion? Very. That's like my bread and butter. So who would be your dream podcast guest? Kate Moss.

Oh, my, that was quick. That's my, that's my, or even ask her, like, all I can think about is, like, are you still doing coke? I want to talk to her about fashion being one of the original it girls, about, like, the impact she's had on fashion, about some of the downsides, like the way that they have built her up and torn her down so many times. I feel like that's a big point. part of being an it girl is like you're never perfect.

They bring you down. Even Haley Bieber. Look at how they like talk all this shit on her marriage. She's such an it girl. Everybody loves her, but they always have something bad to say. Oh my God. They come for her the fucking worst. And that's really interesting to me.

It's like I've thought about writing a book on it, but I just don't know where I would start. But I'm like, we don't platform women and then they're beloved. We platform women and then we have to rip them down. We have to be like, she's a drug addict. She's this. We have to release photos of them. That's true. sex tapes of them. There's always some

horrible thing we have to do to them. And then they're like, okay, now you can be famous. Like, it's never, they want to watch you go down. J-Lo, Blake lively. Yes, hate always, just always have to tear them down. It always comes with hate. And there is, I'm like, men that are equally

as famous and are equally as influential. You let them get away with murder. You guys, Brad Pitt, I think, murdered. No, I'm just going to, I'm not going to slay there. There are male celebrities that have murdered people. There are celebrities who have, male celebrities who have very publicly beaten their famous wives. And by the way, I'm at fault for this too. I'll post a male celebrity and they'll somebody be like, oh, like he abused the shit out of his ex. And I'm like, oh, like, it's not, it doesn't even register sometimes. When it's a woman, there's a video of it.

We've all seen it. There's photos of it. It's on the cover of every magazine and she doesn't work again. She doesn't need to like abuse anybody. It's just like, oh, have you seen? She said this dumb thing on the carpet. And they rip them to shreds. And then all of a sudden she's the ugliest, grossest, worst woman who's aging horribly. It's like there's always. That annoyed me about the Amanda thing that I agreed with is like people used to worship Amanda, the same way they used to worship Blake lively, okay? Like, obviously we're talking reality TV and like A-list, but in the way of like the way she dressed, the pictures she posted, like people just thought very it girl vibes, very like cool girl, it-girl. Now, it's okay for you to turn on her because of what she did, but people are now like, I never liked her,

you know, like, or like, what is she even wearing a t-shirt? And it's like, you used to fucking swipe up. on that t-shirt. You know what I mean? Like, that is the way women are, like, that's just what happens when you're, like, being an it girl is never a great thing. There's always this, like, horrible downside.

So that's what I would want to talk to Kate Moss about. Does that scare you in terms of being on reality TV, everything we talked about, then knowing that, like, with this fame, fandom, you know, notoriety, this can come with it. Like, from an Amanda West, right? But also everything we talked about, that women get hate.

on for the smallest thing. Like, do you go into it with fear? I mean, I'm not like, I'm not like famous. Like, I'm not that relevant. So it's not, I'm not that scared. Like, I'm hardly, I'm really just not that relevant, which is totally fine. But you just start, but you just start it. You don't know where this can go.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I do think, like, that's really what my whole platform is about is like trying to make a positive space for women, trying to have, like, on the podcast, on the street series, always the rule has been. There's a question you don't want to ask. It's not asked if you tell me to cut something. don't use the part where you tell me to cut it. It's out. It's done. It's not a worry. Like, I just want to

be a positive place where girls can come and just like literally chit-chat, talk about life, nice things. If you're getting a divorce, we're not going to talk about it. We're literally going to talk about fashion and your personal style and your goals. I just try to keep it light. So yes, just as a woman, like, I've already had a big thing happen where like a man came out and said stuff about me that was fucked up and like that was its own journey and its own thing. And what do you mean? What are you talking about. I don't, I'm going to resurface this. It doesn't matter and I'm not upset about it at all, but there was like a whole thing with Dave Portnoy. It's like a whole thing. It's just a whole thing. He's spoken about it again. I don't talk about it. I've never talked about it. It doesn't matter.

It's not important to my life. But I've seen what can happen and I do think I always say what goes up must come down. Always. Like it scares me for everybody. It scares me for everybody. It scares me for everybody. It scares me up top. They don't let you stay up top. There's no such thing. It doesn't matter. But there's also no normalcy in our up. You know what I mean? We're either like insane about a person. We die for you. We live for you. You're everything. You're perfect. You're the most special person in the world. I live for you. I would do anything for you. Or we're turning you down. And we hate you and you need to disappear immediately. No. It's fucked up. There's no balance. There's no normalcy.

Not that I think that any of my listeners are one of those people. But if you even do it because we can all do it by accident. Like I said before, like, I could platform an abusive man and forget that he beat his wife up. You know what I mean? Or put somebody on a pedestal or, you know, we just got to be moderation is key in life. You know what I mean? And I just, yeah, just like the celebrity world in general. It's just like, it's people. It's people. Let's not take it. Everyone said something they regret. Everyone's done something they didn't. They don't, they've grown. They've changed. Like, it's just like, it's just people. It's truly at the end of it. Everybody makes it. Shakes. Everybody has those days. Hannah Montana was on to something. She was on. Thank you for coming,

my love. Thank you for having me. This was so fun. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.