Not Skinny But Not Fat - BRYNN WHITFIELD NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D BE A REAL HOUSEWIFE

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Brynn Whitfield, a fan fave new RHONY castmate has quite the life story. Although she opened up about it on the show, she gets even deeper in our conversation. We discuss how she grew up, what kind of guy she’s looking for, hot takes on the other Housewives and which RHONY husbands she’d MARRY, F, and OFF.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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feel like you're talking a shit with your best friends in your living room. Brin's here. You're so cute. Pretty and pink today. Little pretty and pink. People don't know you're so tall. Why does everybody ask me that in person? Like people on the street.

I'd be like, we didn't know you're tall. Do I give short TV on? You don't give, you give like average height. Average height. Everage height. Yeah, yeah. I'm 5'10. What?

And then with heels, I got six foot. Yeah. What? NBC's going to start like an intramural basketball. Wait, so I feel like, yeah. So we haven't, I feel like we would have noticed you like standing next to sigh who's like small. Size is beyond small.

Yeah. Size is like really, really tiny. Yeah. But Jenna's tall. Jenna, I think I'm taller than Jenna. Yeah. 10 is 5.9. I'm 510. Uba 6 foot. Right. So maybe that's why. Because I'm always by Uber and like next to Uber I look like. Right. Next to Uber, you're like, okay, babe. Shorty, what's up? Brin, I love this season so much. I'm so into it. I love it. And I'm dying to know how you got on it.

Okay. I got on it through a mutual friend. It was very random. She gave a list. I think they had been talking to her. They casting her ever. And they. Did she not end up making it? She, I think they wanted her to do it and she was like, I'm not doing it. She's really, she's a doll. She's a huge fashion publicist here in New York. And so, yeah, she gave a list of names and they reached out to me. And I thought it was just like a massive joke. I was like, there's no way. Like, come on.

Like, I'm not married. I'm not like Mrs. Bloomberg. I'm not whatever. Like, I rent. Like, I'm just, I'm not even dating anyone, you know. I've got a lot of engagements on my belt, but I'm just dating people. But yeah. And then I just got drunk before every interview.

I was super silly. I'm just like, I thought it was going to be a very, very funny story to tell forever. Like, guess what I did? And then, yeah, and then it was like three Zooms. And then they called me and they were like, you want to do it? But I never even went into. Wait, did you watch the show before? Were you like a Bravo girl?

I'm a massive original Roney, like the past couple of seasons, right? Like I own on Prime. I own seasons one through four. I love it. Old school Beverly Hills, too. Like old school Rony, you mean like Jill Zarin and stuff? Jill Zarin, Bethany, Kelly, Alex McCord, Juan, all. Me too. And I rewatch them. They're actually really, really hilarious. Like, the time that I feel

like they created those, it was just like, that can never be recreated. Beverly Hills, old again, I love. And I watched new Beverly Hills. I watched last season. And then old Atlanta, I like too. And I love Southern Charm. I like those people. They seem like a fun group of friends. I was going to tell you, you give Southern Charm. Thank you. I'm a Midwestern girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's like kind of the same shit. Yeah. Because like the way you dress and the headbands and like, you would give that like Southern Belle vibe. A little, maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit.

Did you get to meet those guys? I have, oh, you're going to BravoCon. I'm going to BravoCon, so I'm going to meet them. I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with them. They seem like a just like, they seem like one of my group of guy friends here, just like idiot, like adult rap boys. Yeah. I love that.

Yeah, I could see you getting along with them. So you were shocked when after the Zooms, they wanted you to join. Yeah, because again, I was like, okay, there's no way, there's no way. And then because someone I think at NBC had had COVID, so we had, I was supposed to go in. They're like, when I go to 30 Rock and I was so nervous. And then someone was six We had to do it via Zoom So it was the third one via Zoom

Yeah And I was like they're not gonna cast me over Zoom Like this is you know Like you felt like it hurt your chances Yeah yeah I was in person You would be But I was wildly relieved too Because like I've never

I've only going to 30 Rock From like my real job is like The associate to a talent or something I've never gone in there as like For someone who's Yeah yeah yeah This is very very strange And I just kept thinking

And I think that's kind of how you should approach things Or I have found When you don't want something That's the thing that you get I'm trying to do that now with like marriage and relationships like I don't care if I get married yeah said me as I'm like yeah panicking anxiety ridden every night but no like not wanting it I think it was just it just happened yeah yeah I love that did they make you feel at all that like this was going

to be different like we're not looking for like legit housewives we're not looking for all they kept saying was this is going to be different and actually and all throughout filming and everything that I said this is going to be different we want this to be different this needs to be new york Like this just needs to represent New York. It's going to be a reflection of New York. But here all along I'm thinking there's no way they're going to make it that different. Like I believed it and hoped for it. But like just I was mission critical the entire time.

Even I'm going up to our marketing promo shoot, they show us the deck and they show, oh, we're going to be outside. And we're just nitpicking all of it, like the wardrobe. Are you sure you're not going to, you know, have us on a couch with just like a broken chandelier on the floor? And it's like, you know, I was like, until honestly I saw like six episodes in, I was like, Okay. I believe them now. Yeah. It's just totally different. So. And were you like how long were you living in New York? So I've gone back and forth after college between L.A. and New York, basically for work. So cumulative of you had all the years, eight years. Eight years. So do you feel like a New Yorker? Yeah. I do. So now this, the latest, now this has been four years. No, yeah, four years. I was here during COVID. Yeah. So all long I never felt like either. I'd say, oh, I grew up in Indiana. Now I live in New York and I've spent some time in L.A. After COVID, I stayed here. I have a picture of me and my dog walking in Times Square. There was not one car, one person, anything.

Why Times Square? Because I just wanted the picture because I was like, this is interesting. I walked down 6th Avenue. I walked in the middle of the street. There was literally not one person. There was sirens. There was trash because the trash wasn't being picked up. There were a few homeless people.

But there were no cars. There was no. It looked like a Will Smith of a pocket video. So after that. You're closer to the city? Yeah, I'm like, no, no. I'm in New York or now. I'm like, did you stay at her in college or did you run off to a family's house?

Oh yeah. I stayed. I helped deliver masks and Hoboken. Like I'm like, I'm a New Yorker now. I stayed during COVID. I didn't leave. So who from the cast were you like the friendliest with before you started? I would say Jessel. So I knew Jessel because she's also in the PR role. Yeah. It's impossible not to know Jusel because she's hilarious. Cy, a few of the brands that I had worked on, we had contracted her as an influencer. So I was very familiar with like her from her, you know, like. Influency stuff. Yeah. Like her contracts and like, and you do kind of put people under the microscope like, who is this person? Does she relate? I knew about her kids. Like, she's been in many PR decks of mine and, like, we contracted her. Jenna, I only knew of because she's Jenna. Uba I had seen at, like, when I do, if I'd go to, like, a fancy pants gala or something, because Uba's there and the most glamorous woman.

Then Erin, I didn't know. Oh, Aaron and you didn't know each other at all. No, I don't know. It turns out Aaron and I have probably, like, the most mutual friends, actually. Because you're, like, similar ages. We're similar ages and, like, Hamptons and whatever. Yeah. You turned 36 this year.

No, baby. So they filmed it. I was 36. Oh. I turned 37 and 37. You turned 37. So I'm 37 going on 38. Babe.

Oh, I don't get me sorry. Did you think this is where you would be ever in your life? No. Like filming a reality show. No. Never. Like.

In New York City being all like fabulous. I've had like 15 lives and I've done such crazy stuff. Yeah. And it makes sense in that regard. But I never actually. No. No. And also it's something that I watched.

Like think about something that you watch on TV right now. I know. Like what's your favorite TV show? Don't ask me that right now. Okay. But it's like if you're like watching succession and you're like, oh, now I'm on succession. No, I know. I know.

How did this happen? I know. It's surreal. But did it also not scare you? Because when you're asking me that, I'm like, I would be because of all that I know because I watched this show, it would petrify me to go on the show. Yes. I'd be so scared. I'd be like, look what happened to so many of these women.

Right, right, right. You know what I mean? I can go north or stuff or whatnot. Yeah. Did not scare you? It did scare me because I think if I'd done this when I was 20, I think it would be a train wreck. Uh-huh.

I feel like I've been through enough shit. I know who I am. I've made mistakes. I don't. I'm just at a point in my life where I was like no amount of, even if they did try to do like a survivor like or Bachelorette where they're always in your ear and really trying to mess with it. That was the case. It's not the case. But I was like assuming worse possible.

Like hope for the best assume the worst. Like you would stay true to yourself. Yeah. I was like no one like, you know, could. I do you have to put me in like an interrogation room. But you also know how crazy the fans are and how. and how they can dissect every fucking thing you say. Yeah.

Did that scare you? It did. It intimidated me. But again, I thought, like, they're either going to, it's like real life. It's like, people are going to love you or hate you. Like, you can't. Do you have thick skin when it comes to that stuff? I do.

Yeah. I think it really, I get very sensitive when it's someone that, if I respect you, then I will care about your opinion and then it really hurts. Like, it guts me. But if you don't know me, if your name's not in my phone and, like, I have your phone number, you have my phone number. Why would I care about your opinion? Somebody said that.

That's a good sentence. Yeah. I think it was like a Jonas brother. No, I think it was like Tom Holland. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He said it and I reposted it too.

It was like, if I don't have your phone number, I don't care what you say. Right. Like if you can't text me or call me and tell me you have an issue with me, then like you don't know me. So therefore, why would you're pinning up me and matter? This episode is sponsored by eBay authenticity guarantee. This is such an amazing initiative by eBay. Now with eBay, authenticity guarantee, whether you're looking for a head-turning handbag or a watch that says it all, jewelry that makes you look like the gem or sneakers in street wear and then make every step feel fly.

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On the show, you were so vulnerable this season. You even started it. It's not like it was the fifth episode. Yeah, yeah. You kind of started and shared your story right away and brought all of us to tears and you have such a, such a story. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. You were adopted by your grandmother. My grandmother. When you were, when I was, so I think I lived with my parents for like six months, but then it was best for us and what was going on in their lives if we, if we, we would go and live with someone else. So there's two options. It's like you become a foster kid, a ward of the state or my grandmother could take us in. So she took us in. And then ended up, we lived with her. It was just like it was supposed to be temporary guardianship. But then

She ended up legally adopting us when I was, I think, in second grade after the trial. She was granted to be like, I actually have a birth certificate that says, no father's list in. It says mother, my grandmother. Wow. Legally, she's my mother. But you kept calling her grandma? I always called her grandma. I wanted to call her mother.

So the reason I called her Mimi, I've never told me one of this is because I wanted to call her mother. But she said, I don't want one day you to resent me thinking I try to take the place of your mother because that's what. And she always encouraged me to speak to my biological mother. So I called her Mimi because I was taking Spanish in school and Mi Ma Ma Ma'am, like my Madre. Yeah. So I wanted to, in my own little way, I wanted to refer to her as my mother. So I called her Mima for the longest time. And then it just became Mimi, like the last 15 years of her life.

And when you speak about her, you get so emotional. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So now's okay. Now I don't feel it. But it was crazy in front of the cameras. Those confessionals were, those confessionals were I fought. I think I fought a lot with NBC and Bravo and the production company. They were always so kind.

And obviously these are things that we have to talk about right in confessionals. But we had to work around my schedule. Like I don't, I think I did like half of the amount of confessions that the girls did. I only won in a few times. Why? Because of work? No, not because of work. Everyone has busy schedules and obviously you're there all day.

But I just was like traveling a lot, but also I knew that we had to talk about those things. Like the first three times, I think when I'm in the black dress, I was like, I don't want to do it. So they let me not do it. And then the last one, they didn't make me do it. But when I'm in the sequentop, there's not a lot of sequin top because I went in twice. I'd go in for two hours. And I knew we had to do it.

So like when I just sit there, I wasn't funny those days. I wasn't whenever I was going through those questions. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We're all bitches. What else do what we to say?

Because I knew that they were going to ask me the questions about her. Yeah. And I was like, you have 20 minutes to do it. And we just went. And I would just like, didn't even drink. I would just leave. like shattered. Is she harder for you to talk about than like your your actual parents? Yeah, because I didn't know my parents. I don't know. I still don't know them. Yeah. Well, my father died. My father died

without me ever knowing him really. I only knew him for like the last two months of his life. Yeah. You reconnected with him before his, he called you to tell you he was dying. So he was, he actually was living in Europe and with his new wife and he had had had a young, I have a half sister that I had found out about. And he got diagnosed with liver cancer. I think it's cirrhosis of the liver. and he knew he was going to die, so he wanted to come back to the United States to say goodbye to his mother, right? My, his mom, my other grandmother. And on the plane, on the flight, he started bleeding internally because of the, he was like stage, last stage cancer. So he immediately was taken to the ICU. And then we were told, my mom called me, I was on homecoming court senior year

of high school. And the night of homecoming, I'm putting on my dress. My mother calls me, and she's like, I just thought you'd like to know your father's in the U.S. He's dying. You should probably him say goodbye literally and I was like okay so I went up the next day he didn't die that you didn't debate it like no part of you was like why should I go oh of course of course I was like it went both ways I there's a part of me that didn't want to but there's a part of me my entire life that was so desperate to like have a father and I always wanted to be like a daddy's girl and all this sort of stuff so I just I was always despite everything that he did I was always drawn to him not so much my mother but for some reason I always wanted my father

Spillings a lot. So I went up the next day. He didn't die. But then he, through three months basically, what was that? It was September, October, November. He held on. I went every weekend and visited him, took care of him. And then he died.

And like a week before he died, I called him. He had tripped. He'd fallen. He was very, very small. He's taller than me and weighed less than me. And because of the cancer, it was really bad. And I was like, Daddy, it's okay. You can go, you know, like, we get it.

It's fine. He died on November 12. Did he show any regrets to you before? Oh, my God. He said that he was so ashamed and that he felt like he was a monster. I mean, it sucks that it took, like, cancer. Yeah. Like him dying in order to, like, say, you know,

because you could have just called me or sent me a letter if he were actually that sad in my life, you know? And that's something that after he died, I've had to, like, really, really, like, come to terms with the fact that, like, I never got to be angry with him. I didn't, not that he got away with it, but, like, I don't know. Sometimes it's not just all love there. It's like, that was really convenient for you. You know, that like, I don't know.

Because my eldest sister, she chose to not. She wrote him cards and letters and sent photo albums and things like that. And she's your full sister? Yeah, I have a full older sister and brother. And I'm extraordinarily close to them. Your brother we see on the show? Yes, yes. Okay.

But your sister, we don't. Yeah, yeah, because she's in Indiana. I have two nieces. She was the exact opposite of me where she's like, I'm going to keep my distance. I'll tend to funeral. She was in college. My brother was probably the normal, sane one per usual, where he was like, once I visited my father twice, spent time with him, said goodbye.

Me, I went up every damn weekend and took care of him. You know, like, I was like so desperate to like get that time in. But I told him everything I did. I promised him I would be a doctor. He wanted you to be a doctor? I really wanted to be a doctor and he also wanted me to be a doctor too. But he gave some good advice when he was dying. He said, you are what you eat.

And literally he's like, that's the most important thing. be careful, mindful, what you put in your body. And he told me to do three things in life, and I would die a happy woman. He said, go as far as you can with your education, though there would be a, I haven't, master's PhD, but also just always like continual learning, always taking classes and workshops. And I do, I've become a yoga teacher. I've done sailing.

I play tennis. I do fencing. I do, like, I'm always learning. And I tend lectures at the American Institute for, like, classical architecture. Like, always learning. So he said, go as far as you can, always learning. Always be a lifetime student. always travel the world, which I do, and he said, find true love.

You do those three things when you die. He's like, you won't be like me and you won't have regret. Yeah. And you also probably don't have regrets because you really leaned into that relationship at the end. Like maybe if you didn't, you would have maybe had a regret. I think, and I knew that too. I knew I wasn't going to have another chance. So I was like, I didn't want to wake up 30 and say, I wish I had gotten to know my dad for even the eight to 12 weeks that we had.

You know, I knew that. So I just did it then. There's been times, though, when I will get angry or upset or I'm trying to go through. Like, I'll be like, why do I, you know, I'm with my therapist. Like, why, what are my commitment issues? Where does this stem from? And then I'll start picking apart my relationship with him and get angry that he wasn't there.

And maybe that's why I'm trying to, you know, make up for something or maybe that's why push men away or do all these things. So it will come up. And then I get mad. Like he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve me. Like what you did at the end. 18.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why? Like, why was I doing? Yeah. Should just let them, his family bury him and do whatever. Yeah. But most part, overall, I'm glad. I think it's important regardless of who hurts you or how deep they hurt you to just show love. The end of the day, I think you can live with yourself then and you won't have regrets versus resorting to, like, pain or fear, wanting to hurt someone like they've hurt you. Chloe Kardashian actually said recently something, a quote that was like, because you know the drama with her. Yes. Kristen, like he cheated a bunch of times.

Obviously, a whole different thing. But she said, like, just because I'm not treated well doesn't mean I don't treat people well. Yeah. And she was talking about him because she, everyone's like, why is she still treating him well? And she said just because I wasn't treated well, doesn't mean I don't have to be able. Yeah. And it doesn't make you a weak person. I think a lot of the times, too.

And I've even noticed this in this friend group. So we've gotten in a few arguments about stuff. Most recently in the summer, we're all having dinner. And I was telling the girls with the story of this guy that was an basic. very rude asshole to me. Very much of a gentleman, but I think he expected, I think a lot of men think that I'm, because I'm such a flirt and whatever, that would, I'm the exact opposite. Like, I grew up so Catholic and, like, you mean like they think that you would like, yeah, they think I'm like some hoe and then I'm going to put out. Like, I've literally said,

I can count on maybe like how many men that I've been with my entire life. Yeah. I don't, I've been a cock tease my whole life. Like, that's my thing. I don't care. And your vagina teased now too. Yeah, I'm a vagina tease now. Now I'm starting to open up. Now I'm like, actually, well, I'm 30, I need to get married. You said on the show, I'm so obsessed and focused on the fact that the two people who were supposed to let me didn't or couldn't. That was like... Oh, you know, I haven't watched that episode. Really? I won't watch it.

Because you knew? No, I don't want to watch it. No, because you knew that episode was like that episode. I was like, I remember when it came out. I was like, oh, my God. I have an episode named after me. It was an interesting person in the room or a girl in the room or something. And then I saw the Bravo had shared the hair story and I saw all these beautiful comments.

like tens of thousands of comments. People are like, thank you for sharing. You mean about my hair? I guess there's the salon scene. Oh, okay. And the black beauty shop. Yeah. And you also told the story about your grandmother's friend, right?

Yeah, yeah, who she recommended me. And I grew up every weekend going to a black hair salon. But that was my only exposure to the black community because I was raised by my white grandmother, all white family and my dad's family, the black side wasn't involved in anyway. And just my little community in Indiana was not diverse. It wasn't. No, it wasn't.

And so I saw that that scene was in it, which is really beautiful. So I've seen that clip, but I haven't seen that episode. And I told them I won't watch it. And they said, it's okay, I don't have to. And even at the reunion, like, you know, Handy, when he's asked me questions, he's like, I know you haven't watched it. Yeah. But, you know, he asks me questions about it.

But I don't need to, I, first of all, I lived it. Yeah. And I experienced it. And then I shot that scene, and it's me. Like, I don't need to. It's hard, it's hard to watch. And like I said, it was hard doing even the confessionals. Something about when there's cameras.

and you're sharing it, it's like it makes it real. Obviously, I know it's real. It was my life, but there's something about it like officially going on the record. Yeah. It feels very permanent and maybe. Does it feel weird to share it with the world? No, not in not really because it, it, I had shared it so much. Yeah. Like with friends and strangers and school and like essays and like work things and workshops and like I've shared it in my yoga teacher training in our collective like I've shared it so much so I'm not when these people that keeps things private I will share but we didn't want to relive it again and I just don't want to want I don't want to watch I think maybe maybe I feel bad for myself I don't know yeah yeah and you don't like that you like to

feel like happy and strong I like feeling happy and sure like because I think there's so much of that and here someone told me the other day oh you're just so happy all the time I said no I'm not it's what is it the third law thermodynamics what is it for every reaction there's the equal reverse action. So while I am the most happy bubbly person, I've been on my bathroom floor crying, hating life, hating everything. Like, I think I can only feel such joy because I felt so much pain. So it's, it all, it all balances each other out. But yeah, I don't like to, I know it, and I'm not avoidant, but I just don't feel the need to rewatch it and relive it and see it in some regard. And you said also on the show or in an interview that you, again, like you like to choose happiness,

because of the places that you've been, but that also you had to put on this persona of like happy, cute, flirty, teasing, all of that since you were younger. Yeah, because the trial we were in, the trial was the thing I think that messed me up the most in life. It's one thing to not have parents or have abandonment issues.

But the trial, which were very popular in the 90s, there was baby Jessica. There was this whole guardianship battles were like on 2020 on Dateline. They were like the, whatever's the hot version of whatever we're doing now, canceling people, I guess. But it was all over the news. And actually 2020 and Dateline had contacted my family.

They wanted to follow the journey. Thank God my grandmother said no. Yeah. But it was this huge thing because my mother had hired the attorney that was like the popular, the PR tour that was like all over the news. And my grandmother had no money. So we had to go to the University of Notre Dame. She begged the law professor to take on the case for the students.

So they- Wait. Did your mom want you back? Yeah. Yeah. She wanted us back. I'm not, I don't know. Like the reasons why I are still.

muddy to me a lot had she didn't have a good relationship with her mother my grandmother my grandmother said like maybe with my first four kids I was but with you guys I got it right yeah she was so loving with us so kind yeah so it basically turned into like a lot of stuff in my family which is I said I want this well no let's do it this way let's ease it back like she had wanted us back and like she wanted to do it an instant like give me my kids back but it had been four years I didn't know my mother was it was a stranger that came in and then yeah I only knew my grandmother. So they got in a fight, basically, saying,

give me my kids, they're my kids. And she's like, you've been gone for four years. And so then it was just instead of communicating or talking, it was through the courts. Lawyer up. And it turned into a three-year drawn-out battle for just nonstop, like, revisitations. And you were aware because you were.

Yeah, it started in kindergarten, started in preschool, and then ended second grade with all finalized. But that was like three or four years of like, I was never, I don't know how I passed kindergarten first grade. I don't I probably didn't I was never I was barely in school we were my pediatrician was involved the teachers were involved court ordered visitation screaming judges lawyers I'd sit on the phone with my and they'd have like the lawyer would be tape recording the call with my mother because she was really saying messed up stuff it was just horrible you were exposed to a lot

I was constantly in these are and knowing too we had to go to court order therapy my siblings and I and knowing that like these people are watching me and if I do anything like a kid is allowed to be a brat, right? Or be like, I don't want to do this or cry. I knew these people were watching me. And if I acted upset, they were going to take me away from my grandmother. So you wanted to show that like you were amazing. And I was happy. Perfect great. Everything was happy. And I think that's when it started of being like, I win. I get what I want when I make sure everyone around me just knows and thinks and sees me as happy and living. So I was, yeah. And it's weird. It's crazy that a kid realizes to do that and then does it.

Those are your most like. Well, I feel like kids have like survival instinct. Yes. Yes. And I remember every night too, I was plotting like, okay, if the judge comes back and says we have to go with my mom. Like I was making, okay, then this day, then I'll run away this day. But then I'll be able to come back.

I'll run away this way or I'll hurt myself or I'll do something. I was just plotting every night what I would do. But I say that's kind of like when my PR career began because I learned how to like spin things. Yeah, yeah. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to stay with my grandma. I didn't know who this woman was. I claimed she was my mom.

she scared of me and I was she alive she's alive yeah I I was never scared of like the boogie monster under my bed I was scared of my mother you were scared to oh my god yeah so it's this crazy because she's very emotional and I hope she's doing well and it's been I've thought about her luck she sees you on TV yeah and I also don't want to hurt her yeah you know so that's I'm always hesitant to talk about it yeah there's been like awful news outlets trying to like dig stuff up my family and stuff yeah like people make mistakes she was very young she was 16 when she had my sister, 19 when she had me. I think you were very respectful

throughout the show. People have long time and people change and they grow and she hasn't had an easy life and her father died when she was little too. I think that really impacted her and look we all make mistakes but I just think that what how it happened for us it was best

it was and I'm sure it was hard for a mother to not have her children even if she did make mistakes you know but but it was best for us to be with our grandma. But yeah, but it was best for us to be with her. But I'm sure, too, that's, that also gets me too right now. Like, when I think back, I think it's so important, I tell my friends when they're like,

oh, I'm mad at my mom or my dad. First of all, if they're still with you, hug them, love them. They are a human being first that makes mistakes. They are a woman next, right? Then someone's wife, fourth rolls your mother. Stop being with like, my mom. First of all, parents are going to fuck you up. They're going to screw you over.

They're going to project all their insecurities. I think each generation just tries to do better. But they're going to screw up. Stop being so hard on them. They're a human being. And I think only when we get older, at least to me, like, I used to think that my mom could do no wrong when I was younger. And now I'm like, oh, no.

She was like. And that's okay. And that's okay. But you do realize like, oh, they're a person. Yes. And they're not this altruistic being that doesn't make mistakes or always says the right thing or does the right thing. And we can't hold that.

It's so unfair to hold them to those standards. Yeah. Yeah. And I just feel like when was it? I think when I was like 29 or 30, it just occurred to me. I was talking to therapist. I was kind of getting airtime. Like, I just can't believe that my mother did that.

And then I was like, hey, second, Brandon, you're 29. At that point, I was like 29 or 30. And I was like, you can't even like, you forgot to take your dog out this morning. And the dog pooped in the house. And that, like, could you imagine being 16 and scared and whatever? So you're understanding. The older that I get to, I'm 37. And I, my dog died.

I haven't got a new one because it's a lot of responsibility. Like, it's so hard. And I think the older I get, the more I'm just seeing people, adults, that maybe hurt me as a kid. I'm like, look, yeah, not cool. Because I'm fiercely protective of children now as an adult because of what I've been through. But, like, give them a break, you know, like, as long as they're trying and not really, really messing them up too much. You're amazing. This episode is sponsored by a mattress firm.

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you're also amazing because this anomaly that like you look the way you look like 5-10 fucking stunning but you're a chess player you like collecting antique books you like love the opera you were pre-med like we're all these layers yeah yeah lots of layers lots of layers the layers but like I think everyone I what I tell everyone is sure I think I'm just on the nose about it I think there's I won't get challenges to me there's layers to everybody I was very much much raised again, Mimi taught me, be whatever the fuck you want to be. And I remember we kind of make a joke like, you know, I'm black and white. Like I got the best of both worlds baby. You can do literally anything. Like so one day if you want to be a total prankster, jokester, you want to act a little slutty, whatever, do that. And then the next day you can go to the library. Like, who cares? Yeah. Just whatever I, and maybe it's multiple words. I don't know, but I'm just like, I just do whatever that I want. Like I never, we weren't raised to be like, well, you either need to be the book nored or the cheerleader or the jock.

It'd be like, why don't you just go do whatever you want that day and just enjoy it and not try to be like, oh, well, that's not me or that's not. But do you think that you have this like, you kind of have this like Paris Hilton thing going on? You know what I'm talking about? Whereas like Paris Hilton, she even says it. Like she has the like, that's hot voice and like that whole persona. Yeah. And she had like the simple life where she like doesn't know how to do anything.

But at the same time, she's obviously not an idiot. she's very smart she's very smart she's also been through a lot and she's like a business woman and she's like all these things and she says she even says like that's like an act like i put that on yeah do you think that you have a little bit of that where like you have the like you you even have a voice yeah yeah have a little like the baby voice especially when i drink especially when i drink too my voice changes also i've done someone told me that i was a little bit like derreet from beverly hills because sometimes i get really drunk to him like i said it when i'm like running around Aaron's house. I was like, the petrol. Like, what

American says petrol instead of gas? I don't, it's not an act, because unfortunately it's me. I've had someone, I've had someone on Facebook message me and they're like, glad to see, like, that's all my high school and college, like, glad to see you haven't changed people. I've worked with. Yeah. Someone messaged me and reminded me, they're like, do you remember in eighth grade, you

flirted with Mr. Hammond? And I was like, oh my God, I used to ask if I could, like, deliver the whatever to their class and people would walk in. I'd be like, hi, Mr. Hammond. I was like 12 years old. Yeah. Like, and the whole class would laugh and giggle because he'd turn around and then I'd go like, like that and stuff yeah so i've been like i get why paris does it and i think she started off in a certain different era and entertainment industry and that's she definitely is putting on an act

and that's easier for her or whatnot unfortunately i don't think mine's an act i think i just act whatever way i feel like acting and that's it yeah but it's not like something i turn on or turn on like unfortunately that would make sense that it's like a drunk thing too oh like the baby what people also don't understand is i'm glad i didn't like i guess i'm thankful i didn't come off is drunk, but I was drunk a lot of the show. You also said that in the confessional sometimes you'd go and drink before. Oh my God. Yeah. And I had my thing there. And I'm surprised. I think you'll hold a lot of liquor. I can. I was drinking yesterday. I hence the voice. I can. I'm a tall girl. I like whiskey and

bourbon. Like I can, I can take back a couple. Do you get hangovers? Now when I'm older? Oh my God. They're horrible. And they last like three days and I get super depressed. It's really bad. Yeah. But I love going out. And I'm the worst drunk because I don't like get sad or get weird or get sloppy. I just get more like, I love everybody. Yeah. You're like on MD. Yeah, yeah. I am. I just keep kind of going. Like, should we go to Vegas? Do you want to just do it? And then I'm paying for dinners I shouldn't be paying for. And I'm like, let's go do this. I'm making up with people that I fucking hate. I'm like, whatever. We're cool. Yeah. It's like I'm texting X's. It's a mess. Oh my God. A mess. Let's talk a little bit about some cats stuff. Okay. Okay. So the most recent

episode that I saw at this point, there's a lot of the Jessel versus Sye stuff going on. Yes. Jessel in general, I think with you too, or maybe she's not trying this as much with you at this point. She wants to relate. She wants to have a story. Yes. Do you remember feeling when you were filming that that was happening or are we seeing it

really like magnified on the show? I'm sorry. Like she's trying to have like a story too where it's not like all roses. I think watching it back now, I'm realizing. that everyone was super, super hard on her. Yeah. And I feel like at the time, I do remember, though, also saying,

like, Jusel's trying really hard. Yeah. It felt like that. And mind you, people, and, like, I think some, like, we, a lot of us were getting to know each other. Like, again, I was friends with Jussel, but not to the point where we're together every day and she's my new best friend.

Yeah. So, like, they say, and we give different answers, where are you guys friends? We all were, like, friend or friendly, but it's very different if you take, like, your associates that you run into, oh, hi, honey, you see it at events. Yeah.

And you now, you're like, this is your new best friend. Yeah. And you're like, have to hang out with them. And so we were friends, but this level and kind of friendship is very unique. So we were getting to know each other in that way. So it's all very getting to know each other. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I didn't know what I was going to tell you about like. I feel like people at first watching the show were hard on her. We're like, what's happening with her? She's trying to wait to our blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It looks like there's been a shift. There's a massive shift. And people are starting to be like, wait, she's trying to.

to connect. When you get to know Jessel, my, how I knew Jessel before was a little bit more of like, because again, she was the girl you would see at events and like, oh, hi, like a double kiss. I'm like, we should have lunch. Yeah. Or, you know, like, she's a lunch girl. Yeah. Or be the one who like, you've definitely met her like five times and she's like, oh my God, oh my God. You know, like yeah. Yeah. And then B lines across to someone else. She's that person. So I think in the first three episodes, that is how she comes across. Uh-huh. That very version. Okay. But then when you get to know and I've gotten to know her now and she's like all of the girls like very very deeply yeah she's such a good lovely person and she means well I think jessle's the nicest out of all

of us really I think aside put it we're all assholes I think jessle's not an asses she's like the only one that's like not an asshole and she's she's she's I mean you've been very open with your story but she's like put in her sex life out there yeah she's put in she's throwing her husband under the bus like she's not and then and too like that scene where they're looking at the preschools and Like someone else or me, even if I thought those things, even if I'm drunk. I know, like, I wouldn't, like, say them probably. Well, that's what people are saying, like, that she's given OG vibes. Yes, yes.

And here's the thing. Or she doesn't give a fuck. I think she doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't give a fuck. But also, I laugh and I tell her this, but I don't know Jess will know she's on a TV show. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, she really doesn't. Like, do you know what's everyone can see this kind of vibe?

Yeah, because I called her throughout the off camera a few times. I'd be like, yo, Jay, like, I think, I'll make her. I think maybe people are fucking with her marriage. Later, she's like, oh, no, I don't think so. I don't think it's fine. Look, and then she says every other word. Well, why do you think people were doing that? What did she say over here?

At the end of the day. At the end of the day. That should be, I would play a drinking game with. She's like, look, right, at the end of the day. Yeah. No, I don't think that, it's not that they were trying to fuck with her marriage. I think the problem with this group, and I know, I think Jessel's experiencing and I have experienced this, like the story about my egg freezing.

We tend to talk We're all filming We're saying a million things We all have ADHD And like we talk and we're just Talk quick right Especially me and Jessel But you have people like

Cy and Aaron Who I'm trying to think who else does this No Uba listens And Jenna listens But Uba can also Kind of sometimes talk like me and Jus And we just like

We talk in metaphors We talk quickly And we're just like Oh yeah yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna go to Pilates in a couple hours That could mean six hours that could mean 20 minutes or, you know, like, so I think with the whole ticket thing, she was just saying, oh, the Vietnam thing. Yeah. She's like, oh, he's going, he's, he's, he's,

he's booking his ticket in a couple of weeks. They took that as, well, you told us last week, so that is a two week, so now you lied. Yeah. That's not how, which I get it. That's their thing. Yeah. Because again, I think it's like they're New Yorkers. They're like very direct to the point. Yeah. I'm not a born and bred New Yorker. Yeah. Like you wouldn't, maybe the way you were raised, you wouldn't even get into somebody's business that way. Yeah. But also, also, also, I just, I don't sit here. I'm not a time. I'm not the transcriptionist in a courtroom. We're not going to sit here and be like, and then at 2 o'clock you said that. Like, I only do that in corporate America. I'm like, he touched my ass at 12.03 on December 5th. Like, but I, yeah, I think that same thing with how when I told Aaron the egg story in Inguilla, I speak very creatively. I don't like to sit here and tell you a story, especially if it's a story that I'm actually upset about, but I mask it in humor. I'm not going to say, you guys, I was really, it was really upsetting going to get my egg freezing. I signed up for this appointment. They actually gave me a physical examination. where they did an ultrasound. Then I had to answer a questionnaire. I'm like, then I walked in that

place. They're like, hey, take your pants off, jump up on the table. They shoved his curling wanded me. And I'm like, you guys need some sperm. That's how I tell stories. Yeah. Because I don't, I think it's boring to tell it the way. Right. Right. And Larry David also said, never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Yeah. Yeah. I love all our quotes today. Yeah. So I think with the Jessel and the thing she's like, oh, she's throwing around like, oh, he's going to leave. Because honestly, just also doesn't know because she doesn't care what probably does. She's like he's like he's like he's doing that mileage run thing again and she can't be bothered yeah you know she's like as long as as the nanny's home i don't care they are very cool in that regard and it seems like yeah that she does

have this like she really doesn't care and it doesn't seem like she's even defensive about her marriage because maybe she feels like she doesn't need to be she and she that marriage is strong and i want that's how i am in relationships with guys i'm like dumbass you're so what are like what are you doing and we like tease each other a lot it's not like we're sitting there in love or whatever yeah they're very cool They're very, they're a very, very strong marriage. And it's not that she doesn't care because she's like, I don't care for my husband. She just could care less. You know, it's like he's in his man cave.

Go watch your sports, honey. Yeah. That's how she goes with them. Let's talk about your tagline. I love to laugh, but make me mad and I'll date your dad. Is that because you've dated older dudes? Yeah. No, no, no.

Oh, no? Just it rhyme? I have dated overdid. I changed my Raya to, I think, max out at 50. No, I changed. It used to be 52. And now what? Now I'm at.

I changed. I went down to like 42. I was like, yeah. Because also, oh, and then I, no, I totally changed it. I went younger. Now it's 27 to 42. It used to be like 35 because I was like, no guy that's my age would want to marry me.

Or like, it's always like the man, the older man wants the younger girl. Or the younger guy wants to like. Yes. But now I changed it. And these like, Jen, I don't know what the 20 years, these 20 years are like emotionally available. They're like asking me about dietary restrictions before dates, you know. Old, 52 year old guys, they messaged me, W. like, what are you doing? I'm like, God, you have a lot of money. How do they even know what that means?

I don't know. Probably their teenage daughters. Wait, do you feel like dating now is better or worse since the show? I haven't had time for it now since that's the only thing where I'm like, but it's actually better. When I was filming everyone was like, oh, you know, like that's cute. We definitely don't want to be on it, but I very happy for you. Now all these guys, everyone's like, oh my God, I think they think it's so, so cool. So actually like DMs are a little hotter. It's fun. So the guy that you did bring on the show, the car guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were engaged to him.

I was engaged to him. Everyone really liked him. He's the most lovely human being in the entire world. Everyone was like, wait, why didn't it work out? I know. I wasn't ready. Like, I think I made up every, like, I was able to convince everyone that it was him. It wasn't me.

But it was, I just, I wasn't ready. So I wasn't ready. Is he like there if you want? I wouldn't say that. He, look, I was also his third fiancé. And he said when we broke up, he's like, that's it I'm done. He's very happy. He plays polo.

He collects cars. He travels between London. He's a very lovely life, very comfortable life. He's fine. And I was the one in the relationship. He didn't want kids. He was saying he would have kids for me because I wanted kids. Yeah.

He's the type of guy where like, and he didn't even really want to get married or whatever in life. But he was like, if the woman I want wants me to marry her, then I will. Yeah. That's kind of his vibe. He has a very nice life on his own. He's very successful. And he's just like hanging out. and he, like, collects antiques.

He has a little collection of things. And you stay friendly with him. Yeah. What about the other fiancés? The first one, I'm still friends with the family. They're really, really lovely. And even when his family comes into the U.S., we'll still have lunch together and stuff.

The second, I'm very, very close with, and with his wife. And they invited me to the wedding. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I'm in the position. People always have thought it's weird. There's only, I think, like, 90% of my exes I'm, like, platonically now friends with and truly, well, at least from my end.

And I'm pretty good at sensing, like, a dude's weird and probably still in love with me. like that's not appropriate but I'm friends with all of them I don't I'm not in a position and it's one of my adult life I don't I've had a million more family problems and issues the childhood thing was one thing I've had like a whole slew the rest of my life what I've shared on the show is like 10% of the fuckery in my life like there's a lot there's so much we got so many more seasons yeah drama yeah and family shit like recently even so I'm not in the position to just throw away people that love me every man that I've dated there's been this common denominator of I get I'm like little orphan Annie going to their

family's like love me and they just embrace me the moms embrace me this the siblings do so just because the romance is gone yeah as long as it's appropriate and they're still single and no one's still in love with each other and significant others aren't threatened or whatever i like to still be friends with them i'm not in the position just throw away people that love me did you end all the engagements yes but in my defense here's no i mean there's no all the engagements happened when we were broken up all three of them i broke they proposed out of it wasn't really like we were in love and then they just proposed it was we were very much so broken up and they came back and like please we's let's get together and will you marry me were there rings all three

times two out of the three there were and then we're supposed to go the next day and are all rings back oh yeah yeah yeah that's weird and we what we're we touched on the money thing before how important is a dude with money so i grew up poor on welfare yeah so food stamps like even in college i would take adderall because i didn't have money for food you know so like I don't have any, like, want to be poor ever again in my life. And so I'm very unapologetic about the fact of I don't understand why we sit here and care on Hinge or on these dating app. What are your interest or music? No one has ever gotten divorced because of the fact that, oh, I didn't like your Spotify list.

It's irreconcilable differences and most of the time it's due to financial constraints. You think? No, that's what's listed, financial. Oh. The subbox is checked of, like, that's what people cite. The reason for divorce is because of a lot of it was because of financial issues. knowing, and I'm very well aware of what houses cost, what private school tuition cost.

I don't understand. You don't want to put yourself in a... No, and whoever made up the thing of, oh, money can't buy you happiness? Yes, it can. Yes, it can. What rich person trying to keep poor people forced that, oh, don't, it can't buy you happiness.

I've flown an easy jet and I've flown on private planes. I can tell you which one is better. So you want to be comfortable. I want to be comfortable. Are you looking for a millionaire? I don't. Or for someone who, you know, you won't, that you'll have like a comfortable life with.

What I want is, First of all, I think also you have to be in the position to want what you want. So, like, you need to be financially sound and have your shit together. And if a guy needs me tomorrow, God forbid, they die. I'm widowed. Like, and I have a family. I can go out and make a whole million dollars a year. I'll go.

I'll hustle. I'll consult. I'll do whatever. I'll start a business. I've always been that way. So I'm very confident. I'll sell Mary Kay, like, in the sweater. Like, I'll do it.

Like, I'm a worker bee. Like, so I know that I can always provide X, Y, and Z for myself. To me, it's ambition. Like, as long as you're not a trust fund kid, it shows that you work hard that you're dedicated. So no trust fund kids. I don't like trust fund kids anymore. I like you to be, you came from nothing, you did the garage bit, and now you're this, like, really, really. I just, I'm turned on by successful men.

Yeah, I like, I don't care if you were the, a wait, like, a trash man, but be, like, have the waste management conglomerate on the Eastern Seaboard. You know what I'm saying? Have your, like, be the, like, like, CEO of, like, every, you know, be like, merge, like, mergers. So, wait, so Tyler Cameron. Everybody always asked me. I mean, because there were some vibes. I mean, he does give vibes, though, I feel like to a tree.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's, I feel like he just knows it. I keep saying, too, as someone who told me that I was like, Brin, you could flirt, like, you could turn on a lamppost. And I feel like it's the same for him. Yeah, like both of you together. Watch what happens live. Like, they knew what they were doing. The devil works hard, but the bookers I watched them live

and they knew too. But was there a vibe? There is a little, yeah, it's cute. Like, at first time was just, like, how I do with Jenna and I'm just like playing along with it. And this happened with Jenna too. Like, I was just, kind of effort jokes I like to make Jenna blush. That was like our ongoing joke.

Yeah. Now I watch it back. I'm like, Jenna's hot. She's successful. I don't really count 37. I don't care at this point. Wait,

do you really? But that's the question. I don't care. You're open. No, I literally say I don't care what's in your pants anymore. Really? I care about.

Have you experienced women? I've only made out with women. Like when you're like college and like try and like in front of a guy trying to turn him on. Would you experiment? I would have a thousand percent. A thousand percent date a woman. I don't care.

Yeah. But like why? And women, And after watching the Barbie movie, I'm like, I don't care about these, Ken. Like, why can't, I don't know. Like, do I look at- Did Jenna at any point, though, when you were, like, flirting with her? Did you ever take it seriously?

I don't think she ever really takes me seriously. You were laying on her bed. You had nothing under that towel. No, no. And I was, like, scared we were going to see something. That day, I was also, like, hand. We were drinking all day, hammered. I'd, like, 12 cocktails that day, like, 12.

Okay, I have a quick, fuck Mary Kill before we go. Okay. Abe Bavitt, David. Abe Povett, David. Yeah. Oh, this is easy. Oh, it is? Fuck, Abe.

Abe, they're just so cool. Abe and Aaron. I'd like to fuck both of Abe and Aaron. They're just cool. You know, like I love them. I'm like, I know, but I'm trying to figure out because I like both. Yeah.

I like them both. I like them both. I marry forever, but I'll marry David. David's so sensible. Yeah. He's, I need a sensible person. I need the opposite of me. Yeah.

And he's so calm. sensitive. So yeah. And then I just kill Pava because it'd be fun to chase him. Sorry, Povet. I love you. You can go to Vietnam now whenever you want. Bryn, thank you for coming on. Thank you, my love. You're a jemmy. Thank you, baby. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat.

Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual. smoo-a-ro. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.