Not Skinny But Not Fat - City of Likes w/ Jenny Mollen

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

I am joined by author, actress, mom and wife of American Pie’s Jason Bigg, Jenny Mollen! She’s hilarious and I’ve followed her on Instagram for years. We discuss her new novel, City of Likes, coming out on June 14, how she met Jason, got pregnant, and became a mom with a toddler food Instagram account - Dictator Lunches. She also puts me on the spot at the end of the episode - tune in to find out what she asked me! Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This episode is brought to you by Peek, the brand that makes my favorite matcha. So Peek is offering 5% off plus a free sampler pack of six of their best-selling teas when you buy two cartons of their sun goddess matcha. So you go to Peek Life, P-I-Q-U-E-Life.com slash not skinny and use code not-skin-a-checkout. Not Skinny applies 5% off site wide. That's peak P-I-Q-U-E-Life.com slash not skinny. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast.

You might know me from Not Skinny Bonatha on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking a shit with your best friends in your living room. Well, I'm so excited you're here. Everybody, such a fucking fun guest today. Jenny Mullen, author, actress, mom, lunchmaker. It is crazy.

All the things. What is happening to me? What is happening? I mean, you're thriving. Who am I? I'm having it like an identity crisis. There's just too many balls in the air. Can I just tell you something funny? So you have a new book coming out. City of Likes, which speaks to me on many levels. And I didn't realize it was a novel because when I think of you, I think of like nonfiction. Yes. And so I was like, she was married before to a man named to Ilya. And then I was like, oh my God, it's a novel. It's a novel. Yes. This is a novel. Well, this one I had to. write as fiction because if I wrote this as, uh, you know, a memoir, I think I'd have to move out of town. I'd take too many people to task in this book. Oh my God. It is so good and so relevant. Did you write it recently? Like, how long was the writing process for you? The writing

process was, I mean, this book was such a bitch. It took me for, it's been almost four years. When to when it comes, well, when it comes out, it will have been four years from like, inception to being on a shelf somewhere. And that is too long for me. Do you like to write, Jenny? Is it like you like the process? I love, yes. I mean, like acting for me was always annoying because I hate being trapped somewhere.

Unless it's my own show or my own thing that I have control over every aspect of it, then I have to be there because I want the words to sound exactly as I wrote them. You know, I get neurotic in that way. and Jason hates it because when he's like doing something that I've written, he's like, I'm an actor. I have years of experience. I think I know, I don't need a line reading from you. And I'm like, this is how it sounds in my head.

And you need to get it exactly like this. So that drives him nuts. But for me, that's the only kind of acting I want to do. When I used to get, you know, on these shows and be some, you know, Joe Schmo's girlfriend on whatever procedural. I mean, you might have seen her on Chicago fire, everybody. Boring. Yeah.

And that was fun because I like. that's a good crew, the Chicago fire people. But I just hate being stuck somewhere. And with writing, I can travel around. I can be sampling all the bread in different cafes around town as I like, you know, drink my like eight espresso shot and write all day. And it's just my own thing. It's so much easier to be a mom and a writer than a mom and an actress. I mean, I'm watching Jason and he's been gone for five weeks in Utah. Like, that's just not doable as a mom. Can you imagine if you just left your kids for five weeks if you guys don't know jenny mullen is married to jason biggs yes who american pie most known for but incredible actor and is not jewish so everybody stopped thinking that he is so no jewishness

in your family so i'm jewish you're jewish you're when i met him what a what a mind i was i got put misfit in israel no jenny what a mind fuck that you're the jewish one no and how annoying is it then when i go to israel with jason they're like welcome home to him. They're like embracing him with open arms. And I'm just like, this is so fucked on so many levels. I'm dying. I thought that I got a nice Jewish boy.

I mean, he's the poster child for like nice Jewish boys everywhere. That's like what literally every role he's ever played. And when I met him, he's like, I'm Italian. That was just a real mind fuck. That is a mind fuck. And I feel like even though so many people should know this, I feel like people still don't know this. But I think that it's such a interesting thing that, that you're the Jew, he's the non-Jew.

Yes. I mean, let's take a moment. So you practice, like you did a Passover dinner? Yes. Okay. You did a Passover dinner. And you have two children. I have two children who speak German, though, which is like also throws people.

Why do you speak German? I speak German. So that's the other weird choice. Tell me how. You're like grandparents. I lived in Germany. Well, yes. I mean, I am a descendant of German, Russian Jews. So I do feel like when I'm in Germany, I'm like taking back my land. I, but I lived in Germany with a Yugoslavian family. And they didn't speak English. And so at first they thought I was just like charming and sweet and shy. And then by the end, they're like, shut the fuck up. You know, because I was immersed. I had to learn. Yeah, that's the best way to learn when you can't, when you, when they, when there was no choice. So you taught them German. And they, yeah, and they've always, they've, yeah, we've always had, you know, German nannies and German, they, they do German schooling. I mean, it's, I get it. I'm agro with it. Oh, my God. And but the names aren't German nor Jewish. Laslo is a Hungarian name. And Sid is pretty Jewish. That is cute. Yeah. Sit is, it's pretty Jewish. So where is a Jewish man? Sid is a Sydney. I mean, well, he's, fine isn't a Sydney, but it's, you know, we've had a lot of Sydney's in the fam. And Lasel

was a Hungarian name. What does it mean? I think it means light. Really? I don't know. I'm not sure what it means. I just love the name. Yeah.

I mean, it's like the tattoos that I get. It's like, I don't know what it means, but it looks nice. So let's. But it looks cool. And I like saying it. Right. Who cares? So in your book, City of Likes, okay, even though it is a novel, I'm sure it was taken from,

you know, real life situations. Yes. Are you, do you more, are you more a Daphne or are you more a Daphne or you more a me? I think I'm Maddie, but I think that Daphne also, there are parts of me that scare me that I am sort of Daphne in certain ways, the parts of me that I'm freaked out by. Okay. So let's first tell people what City of Likes is about. I'll give it to you. Yes. So City of Likes is about a mom who moves to New York City who sort of falls under the spell of this in mommy influencer fashion. Instagram woman and it's really it you know I wanted to talk about female relationships because I feel like people never really delve into just like how complicated it can be to have you know

these kinds of all-encompassing friendships that sometimes can get a little toxic and what it's like to be just like under the spell of a narcissist because when a narcissist shines their light on you I mean, there's no greater high. You feel so seen, but that light can go off, like, you know, for any, at any second, that could be gone. And when that goes away, like how hard it is. And it's just like a drug to kind of, you keep like serving this person and you keep trying to like, you know, prove yourself to them over and over again.

And I've found myself in these relationships with women before. And I really wanted to talk about it because I don't think it's out there or, you know, it's just, it's not really discussed in that way. I, when I first set up to write the book, my elevator pitch was it's Devil Wars Prada of Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep had sex. But it's obviously changed from there and kind of like developed into its own thing.

But that was sort of my starting off point. But like you're not a mommy blogger, but you have a pretty successful Instagram, right? Yes. And that kind of, so like that was where I found myself. of when I thought, okay, do I write another, like, memoir? Yeah. My only choice at that point was, like, do I write, like, the mommy memoir?

That's what everybody kind of expected me to do next. And I just found myself so bored with that. I was writing for Parents Magazine at the time. And I had, I didn't have any, like, great material. I was like, this is bored. I'm bored. If I'm bored reading my own damn proposal, then, like, why would I put a book out and bother anybody else with this shit?

And the main thing that I was struggling with at the time was, like, watching these other women on Instagram and watching these other moms curate motherhood and their lives to sort of like almost showcase how like perfect they were. And I kept having this question like rattle over and over again in my head, this idea of if you're so busy curating your mothering online for other people, how present are you actually for your real kids in your real life? Like these pictures I see, it just gets under my skin. And then the captions that like are like so, like, in Congress with whatever's going on in the picture, it just, it maddened me. It's like, when they do the, um, oh, like, my house is so messy and it's like,

yeah, perfectest background, like everything is. And they're like, you know, excuse that. And the kid is like sitting on the counter perfectly lit and there's like a fruit bowl and everything is clean and spick and span. And they're, they're lying that the kid wasn't just crying and threw up tomato soup on them and they had to change. Right. Yeah. Or that they, made the damn soup. Like it was all, it was so too much. And I was just getting more and more enraged. And I wanted to talk shit about that. Yeah. So you did it in like not a, yeah. So you did it in this way. Yeah. And just the weirdos I've encountered here. But it doesn't sound like the character, Daphne, that you created that she's the, she's the blog. She's the blogger. She's the successful.

It doesn't sound like you hate her the way you wrote her. Well, yeah, maybe. you'll see i mean it gets that it takes some like pretty no i mean real life you jenny oh oh do i hate her i don't hate her no because there is a specific person in my life that i was writing about that you know i feel on some level you know i was totally in love with in some ways you know so no i don't hate her but i'm conflicted over it and like they're both two sides of me you know like i've had to service this it because instagram it's like like, you know, it's just this bottomless pit. And if you don't feed it, it's like also like a narcissist, just like the light goes off on you. Yeah. So I had to just like cultivate and keep it going and

post shit, not necessarily even because I want to, but because it's now become a, I mean, you know, it's like a business. Yeah. The fucking job sometimes. So, you know, it's both. I don't hate her. I just find that some of the decisions that she makes are different from decisions that I've made. that you would make. I have a feeling you guys heard of a travel zoo, the trusted source for top rated travel deals and lifestyle experiences. So travel zoo is literally on top of finding the best experiences for their members and negotiate the best deals, literally the best deals to top bucket list destinations

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and you said somebody was making a big deal and you were like, 12,000 is a random college kid with a podcast. Yes. Which is so fucking true. You know, just today I did on my Instagram like celebs that we didn't realize had a huge following. And it's like when I say huge,

I mean like 35 million. I didn't know Vanessa Hudgens was that popular, you know? Right, right. 35 million. So, you know, all of a sudden, everything is so relative because, of course, you know, 12,000, you got to get there. But today, it could be a random kid in college with a podcast. Yeah, absolutely. So I really felt like those moments where your voice, like I could really hear your humor because I love following you on Instagram.

Regardless, I followed you for years. I think you're so real. You're so funny. Like you literally post Like you don't care You're the opposite of like curating for a grid Yes Your grid is even messier than my grid

I know People are like why did you post this You see like the background where like You have like zip medicine tampons You know like dirty like diapers Like everything sitting on your counter And you're like check out this dress I go No I know and then like your kids

You emoji them right Yeah. So you're like, you're like one sunshine, one bear, one in the background. I'm like, what it, but then. No rhyme or reason. And that is literally opposite of so many, you know, curated. But you know what I really think? And I think I heard an interview with Charles Porch, who is like big at Instagram where he said, and he said this about six months ago, which is probably even more true today. He said it used to be so, you know, the content creators with the perfect backgrounds. And the perfect, like, themes that were the successful ones. And today, people are over it. Nobody gives a shit. They're just like, I'm bored, entertain me. Yeah. They, they, they don't want to, they, they feel like you're, you were feeling.

You know what I mean? They want to see the realness. They want to hear the bad shit, sometimes too much. Like, give them the bad shit. They'll fucking feast on that. Oh, they love the bad shit. That's the other thing that I also like started to find fascinating. It's like, if you just like cry into your Instagram stories, people are like,

Loving it. It's so fucking weird. If you're miserable, they thrive on it. Right. Yeah. You'll get all, if your kid is sick, you know, everyone's going to help you. You're going to get a TV show. It's so crazy. Wait, speaking of the TV show, this fucking book is made into a TV show that you're working on.

Sony Pictures. That's crazy. And I can so envision it. And tell us about that. That's literally so great. Okay. So I wrote my first book as a show that Sony produced for ABC. And I guess I decided, you know, I took a very like non-traditional approach with this book. I didn't go through a normal one of the big five publishers. I went to a producer who was in L.A. who basically I knew I had already waited so long to get this book out and then during the pandemic, nobody wanted to buy it. I could not sell this thing. Everybody thought it was like, they kept saying in a post-COVID world, I don't know if, you know, a story about wealthy, you know, women in lower Manhattan doesn't read his tone deaf. And it's just like in general, the publishing world did not want me to be a fiction writer. I'll just say that. So I took this to a producer in L.A., basically saying to him, like, can you get this bounded on shelves? Because my ego is too big to publish this by myself and have it just be digital or something, you know? Because I'd put to which time it. Yeah. Wait, how does it work, Jenny? For us that don't get it. When you say you put too much time in, you put too much time and you wrote the whole book. Yes. I wrote the whole book three times. And then you shop it around. Because, okay, with nonfiction, I was able to just write a pitch. Right. Right. It was like me bullshitting for two pages. And they're like, okay. And with a novel, you have to write the whole damn thing. Wow. And so I sent it out. It was probably premature. I sent it out after I worked on it.

for a year because I thought a year, I mean, my last two proposals, I spent like three weeks. So after a year, I'm like, it's ready. I sent it out. I got a bunch of passes. I looked at it again and I pulled it. I pulled the submission, which is like terrible to do and looks like so bad for you. So I pulled the submission and I took another full year and rewrote the whole thing. And after that, so then I'm like in lockdown and everything's happening and I took it out again. And people were like, no, this is this subject matter, blah, blah, blah. So people didn't want it. And then, you know, because I just have this like hunger and I won't give up, right? So I said, okay, how could I get this into the world? I don't want to self-publish because then I can't make the times list. I can't

have it on shelves. It's just, it was all ego, to be honest with you. So I took it to a producer of this guy, Brian Fulkebyce in L.A. who has a book imprint. But he's only ever made one other book, a book, or maybe he's going to kill me now. He probably has two now. At the time, he only had one other book, a book about toys. Nothing to do with, oh, my God. But I didn't care. I was like, if you can guarantee me that you can get this book on shelves, I'm going to do it

with you. And because I did that, I could shop it earlier as a show because it was already in L.A. Did you have that in your mind, though, like writing the book that could be a show? Well, because I come from, I come from that other world. So I come from like scripts and screenplay. and like so I know that world like that the book world is like for me always a little bit of a you know I don't know I'm I'm a little I'm not as versed but I knew I could flip it because when I first started writing the only reason I was writing books was because I wanted to own IP that I could

then sell as a TV show that I could act in but then I don't now I don't give a fuck about I my god it just changed my life like the books now for me like me and everything I don't care what happens because it's like, I just want, like, my thing in the world. Yeah. And now, I don't know, it's really funny because at the time I thought, oh, having a TV show is everything. And now I'm like, no, like, then it's not really mine anymore. Then it's so many other people's. But when it's your book, it's just like this concrete, there's something so rewarding about it for me.

So, yeah, so it was easier to kind of take out. And I sent two chapters to Sony. I had sold a show with them before. And they bought it. And of course they thought at first it was going to be for their comedy department because my other two books were, well, one I wrote as a film and it, you know, and that one was a half hour. So they sent it to the comedy department. And then they called back and they're like, we think this is a one hour.

So now it's with the drama department at Sony. And nobody knows this yet, but we haven't done the announcement formally. But Diablo Cody is supervising. And I love Diablo. I've known her for years. So that's just like, wow. Absolutely like, I don't know, the best thing ever. Yeah, so it really worked out.

But honestly, it was not. So is it in production? So now I have to leave my family next week and I have to go like write this damn thing. By write it, you mean turn it into a TV script. Yes. So I'll basically work first on the pitch because Diablo and I will go into rooms to different studios to kind of see like where it would live. but so, so, so Sony's, Sony's the studio and then they sell it to a network. Wow.

Mm-hmm. So Sony bought it. Yeah. Got it. Okay. Wow. This world is so complicated. Well, that's what's so funny when people are like, you know, they see.

And I always say, I do it all just for like the one little like blurb in the Hollywood reporter that says like, you're writing. Jenny's working on a show. But it always sounds bigger than it is. It sounds. Yeah. I see people post, I think you also had this on deadline, right?

Those deadline headlines. I'm like, I just, I don't know for what I want a deadline headline. It's just. No, totally. Like, I always say the win is the headline. Like, who cares what happens? Because most things in LA never actually happen. But who knows that this show will even like become anything.

The win is just having it written somewhere that you're being paid to write something. Yeah. No, the deadline. It's literally like frame that shit. That's such a fucking flex. that deadline, Hollywood. No, I feel you, girl. But it's going to happen. But I feel like you're such a, you have this relatability about you. And it's also because of this. Like, you're so real about it. And even though you've done such huge things that you're so successful out, you're still like,

it could not happen. No, I could go out. Totally. Yeah. And I'm comfortable of failing because it doesn't mean anything. Like for all your listeners, it's like, Failing is, it was what has to happen before you can succeed. So I always feel like failure when it happens. I'm like psyched because I'm like, then this is great because now the win is going to just like hit in such a different way. It's going to feel so much like bigger because I know that I like had to fight for. And also you fucking worked on it for four years.

I mean, that's the thing about writing a book is like writing a book. It used to be a dream of mine. But then I think now that I'm older, if I was asked like, do you want to write a book? I'd be like, no. because it just looks like so much work. It's so much work. And you have to be self-motivated. No, I don't want to.

I mean, it's so much work. I mean, you worked on this for four years. And you're saying that when you first had to shop it around, you had to like get noes and deal with that. That's, I mean, it's not like an actor going in an audition and being told no right there when they studied the lines, you know, for a few hours. Totally.

But it's so wild that you're also from, you know, that part of the industry, do you see that if yourself playing one of the parts? No, you know, I really don't want to be like, really? Again, I really like my life. I don't want to be stuck in a trailer. I always say to Jason's like, don't knock actors, Jenny. It's what I do for a living. But I just watch him.

He's stuck in a trailer. He doesn't know when he's coming home. He's like, has to sit there all day long. The air conditioning is always like on like full glass. like trying to kill you. You're in some random city. I don't know. For me, no, I like my life as it is. I want control. And when he leaves for five weeks, is that difficult? Okay. So this is like the trajectory of what happens. Usually I say go do it. It's a great opportunity for you. Don't say no. Because I'm such a like, anytime anybody's like offering me money to do something, I'm like,

sure, even though I don't really like think more like about it too long. Yeah. So I'm sending Jason packing. I'm like, you're going. You're going to go do this job. And then after about roughly one or two weeks, alone with my kids, every day he called, I'm more and more like, fast and aggressive. Yeah. He's like, fucking mean. And he's like, you sound resentful. I'm like, do you think?

You think I sound resentful, really? And by the end, it usually like explodes. We're both texting our couples therapist. He's telling her that, you know, I'm bumming him out and I'm like, you know, just all I do is complain. And I'm telling him that he doesn't appreciate everything that I'm doing at home. And then usually, because I'm such a bitch, I will text him, again, another passive progressive text, giving him my dates for when I'm going to be leaving town promptly upon his returning to New York.

But that's what's happening. On the 24th, I leave a few hours before he returns. No, you're not going to, what? You're not going to see him five weeks? No, fuck that. No way. I'm no fucking way. You know, like, there was, he said to be a text that was so rude.

and I, my mom was here. I found out my thyroid was hyper again. There was a lot of shit. I had to diagnose my nanny with shingles. There's been a lot of shit happening at this house. And he told me that I was being depressed. And you're like, oh, sorry. It's going to find him.

Mountains, trees. You know, he's like sitting there with Brandy on one side, Heather Graham on the other and telling me I'm bumming me out. Wait, Brandy. Yeah, the singer. The singer, Brandy? Yes. Ooh.

And Heather, who? Heather Graham. Oh, interesting. Do we know what this project is yet? It's a Netflix Christmas movie they're doing. Oh, wait, where is his show? Because he's not Jewish. Okay.

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Why do you call him Jaden on your Instagram, by the way? Well, it started out my phone used to autocorrect Jason to Jaden, which I find funny. It's like Jason, I think, is one of the more common names ever given to a man on this planet. And my phone's like, you must mean Jaden. I don't even know it, Jaden. Well, have you ever wanted to talk about Ducks because I tried to spell fuck? and it never works. Again, why would you ever think I'm saying ducking?

Why would you ever say? I've never wanted to say ducking. Yeah. Never. Never. Yeah. Even when I'm ducking, I'm saying fucking.

Right. Even when I duck, I would be like I bent down. I wouldn't even use that word. I'm not smart enough for that big work. Yes. Yeah. So that's why I started it.

And then I liked it because it's like a little sort of disrespectful and sort of felt like, I don't know, puts him in his place. Because again, you have to realize, like, for the first, let's say, 10 years of our marriage, I was always being written up everywhere as Jason Biggs and guest. And so it was always just this like plus one. And I really felt unseen. And like I hadn't done enough with my life. And I like resented the fact that he was famous because it made me feel as an overachiever, even like less accomplished. Yeah. So I like to call him Jaden on my Instagram because it's like, You might be Jason Viggs in real life, but on my Instagram, you're just Jaden.

Right. Like on your Instagram, like, we don't care that you're Jason Biggs. You don't care. Yes. You're Jenny's dating. And then he's like, what did I ever do to you? Like, all I've done is support you and all you do is try to bring me down. Like, all I've done is try to lift you up.

Yeah. It's not my fault. I was famous when you met me. Yeah. But you met on a movie, which is so Hollywood of you. It's so weird, right? I know we met doing a movie. I actually was, we met on a blind date prior to being cast in the movie.

We were auditioning for this film and one of the guys who reped the writer on the movie was trying to date my sister. And he said to me, would you want to see the audition tapes? I've access to the tape so you can watch all the girls you're up against. And as an actress, I was like, yes, that's like the question I've been waiting for somebody to ask me my whole life. Yeah. So I'm watching the tapes smugly, you know, like watching all these girls.

that I'm up against, the same girls that I would always see, right? And then he goes, while you're at it, there's two guys. One is Jason Biggs and one is this other guy. I think it was this actor named Todd Grinnell. And I said, well, fuck Jason Biggs. You have to give it to the other guy. Like, don't, you have to give it to the underdog because I was projecting, you know, like, I'm the underdog.

Don't give it to Lake Bell. I want the job. You know what I mean? Oh, Lake Bell is your, was your kind of competition? Well, it was like, it was all the same girls at the time. It was like Lake Bell. It was like Lizzie Kaplan. Who else was kind of in the same.

In the same vibe. I mean, I could see that. I could see that. Yeah. It was, yeah, it was always Ricky Linholm. It was all of us. Like there was just a crew of us that were always in the same. In the same.

Yeah. In the same ducking. Yeah. The same ducking pool. And then I watched Jason's audition and he was amazing. And I had to call Doug back and say, Doug, I'm so sorry. but I never realized that Jason Biggs was such a good actor.

You have to give him the job. And so then a few weeks later, my sister called and said, would you go on a double date with me and Doug and Jason? And at the time, in my mind, I thought, like, I thought Doug had more power than he did. And I was like, well, I want the job. So I guess I'm coming. You really thought Doug had more power than he did.

You were like deciding on who's going to be in the movie for him. him. I was casting the damn thing. And then, yeah, so I ended up on this double date with Jason and we, we hit it off, but I didn't think immediately like, oh, this is my husband. And then he got cast and then I got cast and we ended up in Boston together for three months and we were married nine months after meeting. I mean, that, it happened so fast. How old were you when you got married? I was, it was 28, about to be 29. Oh, okay. Oh, damn. He swooped you up. Wow. Nine months later? It's so crazy. I mean, there was a lot of things that happened. Wait, not because of there was a baby. I just said nine months. Was there a baby? No, but I was pregnant at six months. So that I thought I was, I was so free. I mean, basically, it's all in my, my first second book, but we were on ecstasy. I got pregnant. I thought, you know, I have to have an abortion. I don't even. Then all of a sudden I went from like being in love with him to like, who are you? You're hijacking my life. I'm too young. I can't be with you. I was like, the. I was like, the. I was like, the. The. I was. The. I was. The. I was. I was the like you know shit got real and then i ended up having a miscarriage well then i decided okay i'm

going to have the baby i'm just going to like do this because i am in love with this person and so we bought an SUV and then i had a miscarriage after we bought the SUV and then um and then i felt like oh wait a minute i had a minute to like think about it again and then we just were like let's fucking elope i mean we'd been through so much at that point so yeah oh my god it's not like a story. There were a lot of red flags. I mean, nothing I would advise others to do. But we have been married for 14 years on Friday. Wow. So we worked out. Happy 14 years. And how much, you guys are in New York, but how did you spend some years in L.A. together? Yes. We were in L.A. I was in L.A. We were both in L.A. for about 19 years. Oh, wow. Yes. I went to UCLA. So I was there for college as well.

And then we've lived there together. for five, six, like seven years together and then moved to New York. And do you like you hear better? I do. Really? I can't imagine being a mom in L.A. Tell me why. Well, when I lived in L.A., I felt like I was a doctor who worked at the hospital,

first of all, just because of my profession. It was like I could never escape work. Even on everywhere I turned, there was like a billboard of somebody doing something I wasn't doing. Or I'd be on a play date and people are talking. talking about, it would always come back to the industry, everything. And it's just like you only know one type of person in L.A. You don't, it's not diverse at all, at least the pocket I was existing in. And I was in the car for at least three hours a day. You know, working, I wouldn't

be home to put the baby to bed at the time. And it was just not fulfilling. Also, I don't know, I'm not into like the private school scene in L.A. It's just a little too, like, I don't want my kids to go to school with other actors kids. I have a weird thing about that. With like Jessica Simpson's daughter Maxwell. Yeah, I don't like my, I don't want my kids like name dropping shit about like, you know, whose dad or mom or, you know, whatever is doing whatever. It's just gross.

Yeah. No, I feel you. She's just going to listen to this podcast. She lives in L.A. Your sister? Me boys in L.A. Mm-hmm. We boys in L.A.

And you have two boys. Is that wild? two boys is intense as fuck yes oh my god i have one boy and it's fucking wild and i'm like how do you have another and then see that it's a boy are you going to have another boy can you decide to not have another like how do we decide to not you're going to have another i mean don't you like have to like i think i think you have to do it my husband said that the other day and i did want to murder him i was like you're going to tell like you're going to say it like they don't to do anything exactly but that's what happened jason's biological clock was drinking and i had to have

another one that's what it was he was pressuring well first of all i would have no kids if i wasn't like with jason i mean he pressured me to have the first one and then i was able to like well first of all after i had the miscarriage i waited we were married for five years before we tried to have kids yeah i got five years before he like kind of like pressured me again until you're just oh my god I couldn't. My sister's having kids. She's 16 months younger. It was a whole, you know, the whole family. And then he pressured you for the second one saying they need to be like close in age and blah, blah, blah. But I waited three and a half years. So I did wait. I got a little bit of time. Yeah. And then, yeah, I don't know. How old is your son now? He's a year. He's two. He's almost two. Yeah. Okay. He's almost two. And my husband said to me the other day like, I think maybe September. And I'm like, excuse you? Like, I know. Are you making. this decision and he's like oh I didn't tell you that was my thought and I was like does he think he can like no no no no that made me mad because you know at the end of the day you could be a great dad but like the mom is the mom and like that shit's on you you know what I mean

100% that shit no matter how much help you have the emotional burden of being a mom is on you is on you can't escape it you can't escape it and they can escape it they can like they can escape it way more than you can but I don't know if it's like a culture I don't know if it's like society, but people have one kid. But for some reason, it's frowned upon. I know. You know, it's like you're not giving the kids someone to play when I'm in the I know, I know, I know.

Did you secretly hope your second would be a girl or did you want a second boy? A girl is even scarier than a boy. That's really. Well, fuck that. Maybe chiller though when they're young. Yeah, like you could take it to a rest, it. You could take it to a restaurant and it'll color. but like, it'll color.

I don't. Oh, my God. I remember when like, Sid, I brought him home. I had the worst postpartum and he had like, you know, the little bracelet they have from the hospital. I remember cutting the tag off him, the way you cut a tag off like a dress from Nordstrom that you know, like I'll never be returned this. It's mine now. I own it. What do I do? And they don't tell you.

Nobody tells you in the hospital. They send you home. Like, you could be a murderer. They send you home. 100%. They're like, have a good life. Have a good life. Yeah.

You're like, I'm leaving. with this fucking thing. Yeah. And why does nobody tell you that your OBGYN like doesn't love you after you have the baby? They only care about you

and coddle you until the baby comes out and then they're just like they walk in like they've never seen you before in your life in their lives. They're just like,

hey, yeah, they don't want to look at the baby. They're not, I felt like my, I thought my OB like after like birthday cared about you.

I showed him a picture. With the baby. I know. I showed it. I remember going to my, my checkup after and I was like, so this is Noah. I was like one of those

people. He was like, cute. Yeah, they don't even care. It's crazy. Okay, nowadays, you're not just like going to the store anymore and picking out something that other people have. You're unique, okay? And that's why you need a unique pair of glasses that you literally customized for yourself. I'm talking prescription glasses from pair eyewear. Pair eyewear has a base frame and magnetic top that makes it easy to switch up your style. Their base frames started just $60, including prescription lenses, which is very, very affordable. They have hundreds of top frame designs to match whichever base frame you choose. So you can literally change your glasses like you change your clothes. Whenever I think of people that need to wear glasses, I'm like,

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That's 15% off at pair P-A-I-R-I-Ware.com slash not skinny. For every pair purchased, pair provides glasses and vision care for children around the world. Jenny, how do you explain the fact that you're like this fucking real-ass bitch, you know, we're making fun of mommy influencers, we hate that. But you make dictator fucking lunches that put people to shame. Okay. So I really want to explain dictator lunches. And I, so I have a dictator lunches book coming out, by the way, in September the 13th.

And the beginning of this book, like I talk all about how this book, like I never meant for that to turn into anything. It was literally just me as a working mom trying to sublimate my own guilt for not being around, not like be doing pickup and drop off. And so I would make these lunches because I'm a Jew and food equals love. And I wanted to send him to school with this like movable feast because I didn't never had, I never had that, you know? My parents, I was a latchkey kid and nobody was doing that for me.

So again, I think who you are as a mother is in for it like, it is so informed by like who you had as a mother, right? So like I'm trying to be the mom I never had. And that's why I started making the lunches. But, like, yes, I'm so worried because I do think that people look at it and think, oh, she's showing me how awesome her kid eats or, you know, whatever. But, like, in reality, it's all about me just grappling with my own inner demons. Well, I think it's also just shows that, like, that, like, a person is, like, complex and has, like, it's, you're, like, an anomaly. Like, you have more, like, on one hand, you'd look like a person that would make fun of that.

Right? And be like, no, my kid eats, you know, McDonald's. Yes. But at the same time, you make these lunches, you guys. Oh my God. Check out dictator lunches on Instagram. Seriously, fuck you because they eat it too. I mean, you show the after and they're eating it.

They're eating cauliflower. They're eating green beans. They're eating it. Yes. Well, I don't fuck around. I'm like, there's no kids menu here. Like, you guys are eating it or you're going to just like not eat? and I'm really like intense about the repetition because I do find that you know a lot of times

you think oh my kid doesn't eat this it's like you've tried it a couple times and he didn't like it. But if you keep presenting it, I guarantee you over time. It's just like it's like training a small horse. You know, so you have to look at these things. So they're good eaters both of them. Yeah, Cid's better than Laslo. Cid's a better eater than Lasel. You guys, check out dictator lunches. I mean, it does give major, major inspo, but it might. make you feel bad about yourself as a parent. No, I'm just kidding. But you can curate.

Like take whatever you made for dinner or whatever. Take out you even had. It's like you can really just like throw shit together so easy. Would you think that you're the type of mom that would like make shapes out of food? Fuck no. If you had told me, if you had told the 22 year old meat that I was cutting apples into like smiley faces, I'd be like, suck my dick. That's never happening.

That's my thing. So how do you explain that? I mean, you just did. You said that you're, you're because of like, I'm so gil-ridden. I have so much. I'm like, I feel. I mean, look at this rice cake. Look at this rice cake.

And also, though, like the teachers were getting annoyed. And I love when I'm making somebody annoyed and stirring the pot. So they were just getting more and more pissed off that like the lunches kept getting more complex and then you have to do stuff like like take the seat out of an avocado or like reheat a Chinese like little like bow. And so I'm like, oh, this is funny. I'm going to keep doing it. So it was to amuse myself.

And then I just felt, I got too deep. I got so deep. Jenny, I love you. I love you forever. I think you're so funny. That's so sweet. Thank you. Everybody, the city of likes out June 14th.

Yes. Get it. It's hilarious. It's also not too long. So don't be frightened for those who don't read as much. Okay. It's a book for girls who don't like reading anyway. It literally is.

It literally is. And it's in Jenny's hilarious tone, which I just want to say a couple other things that made me laugh that I had to write down. When you said you were private on Instagram and before you approved this girl that you were trying to impress, you said, I deleted a handful of sunset picks and a couple of close-ups that my chin was to Jay Leno. Because my sister always says my chin is so Jay Leno. I call my sister's chin Jay Leno.

So that threw me. I was like, wait, other people use Jay Leno's chin as like, I literally always make fun of my sister for having a Jay Leno chin. And she does not appreciate because he has the most protruding chin a person could have. You do not have a Jay Leno chin. On the side, she's always like, oh, the Leno chin. What? Yes. Has she seen his chin?

Yeah, now you have to send me a picture of your sister's chin. More Jay Leno than you. And I will. Sorry, Allison. Jenny, thank you so much for coming on. everyone, go check out Jenny on Instagram, Jenny Molen and Dick Taylor lunches. And I hope I'll see you soon. IRL. I love it. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much. Oh, my God, of course. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Follow me

on Instagram at Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual. smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday.