Not Skinny But Not Fat - Corona, Bravo & Bachelor w/ Daryn Carp

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

The closest person to Bravo’s Andy Cohen, aside from his adorbs son Ben, is his assistant for the past 10 years, Daryn Carp, and she's here! She is also the host of several podcasts, and PeopleTV’s Reality Check. Daryn is obvi a Bravo aficionado as well, and even has time for the Bachelor franchise (thank god). After checking that she hasn’t traveled outside the country and forcing her to wash her hands and bathe in purell, we fall in love and chat about all things Bravo rn including: VPR, the never ending Jax and Brittany wedding and our thoughts on the newbies, RHONJ Reunion, and sorry Bravo, but most importantly, The Bachelor finale, and the star of it all – The Barb. This episode was brought to you by: Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get a FREE consultation and 20% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/notskinny for a free consultation and 20% off. Betterhelp is an online counseling platform for you. Listeners will receive 10% off their first month by heading to betterhelp.com/notskinny today. Get help on your own time and pace. The Not Skinny But Not Fat Podcast is produced by The Podglomerate.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm just remembering now that when Darren walked in, I was like, you're so pretty. Like, I don't think we've ever met. She didn't even return the compliment, you guys. I mean, I did say, you're gorgeous. No, you did not. And I love your shirt. And you go, this thing? This is my house shirt.

This is not skinny but not fat. And I'm your host, Amanda, bringing you the latest in all celebrity gossip, reality TV recaps and anything happening in Hollywood right now that I just can't keep my mouth shut. about this is not skinny but not fat okay you guys i have a really you guys i have a really special guest darren carp hello hi hi um shalom shalom welcome i literally well i gave you like 10 compliments since you walked in yeah you did like i called you timely because 1101 and we first of all how old are we because i'm 31 i'm 31 too that's amazing we're Adults. Thank you. Like, thank you for not being 23. Well, also, like, I really loathe just, like, right off the bat. I think my biggest peep is people being late consistently. Yeah. Because it's like, listen, if you're wanting me on your podcast and if you are taking the time to want to be with me on a Saturday morning, who the fuck am I to be like, no, I'm going to let her sit for 20 minutes? Like, you want to spend time with me? Well, I want to spend time with you. So I value your time. First of all, you guys, like, how hard do we work? Like, Saturday morning.

morning 11 a.m. beautiful day in New York and we're podcasting. Yeah, what I mean? It's a beautiful well-lit apartment though. Oh, thank you. At least that. I feel like I'm outside. Yeah, I've been to podcasts in New York where it's like, you know, in a apartment, which my studio is in my is. Is this a studio? Yeah. It's a one bedroom. It's a green room. Can you tell? Yeah, no, this is, yeah, with the big mirror plate. But I've been to apartments where I'm like, I used to live like this like eight years ago. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's kind of how I'm We were like, thank God, my window isn't to the gutter anymore, you know? Well, right, exactly.

And leans out to, like, an alley with, like, a homeless man, like, yelling at you all night. You're like, what day is it? Is it midnight? We're really living, Amanda. We're really, like 31, having fun, making money. First of all, Darren, let me tell you, because I've seen you around. I'm a Bravo person, so obviously I know who you are. Obviously.

She's very surprising, you guys. A, she lives on the Upper East Side, which you would seem like you're like an East Village-y, like cooler person in the upriside. Yeah, no, I get that all the time actually, which is like a backhanded compliment. I take it, but I take it. You take it. But also, like, I love the upper east side,

so fuck off everyone, you know? I fucking love it. You do? First off, I spend, I have a really good priced one bedroom that I live in by myself. I love all the old people, and I love all the dogs. You don't live with your GF? I do not live in my GF.

Why? She lives in Williamsburg. She's much cooler than me. That she is cooler than you. That's why I came from. Does she hate on you that you live on the upriside? No, she works like on the Upper East Side. So it's like now...

At a hospital? No, she works right on a music label. Oh. Right across from Bloomingdale's. Oh, that's so annoying. So it's like Midtown. I know. She's annoying. But no, we've been dating for five years and we do not live together.

Okay. We're at the opposite of the lesbian relationship. That's like we need... I mean, there's a whole other podcast for that, though. That's skinny and fat podcast. Wait, but why? Why? We both like, we both have a really good priced one bedrooms right now.

I mean, like, if you really want to know my opinion, I'm like, we've thought about this. Our relationship is good And so, you know But it's like long distance almost I mean kind of Well she lives Does she sleep over Like you do a lot of sleepovers

I sleep over at her place Probably four nights a week Because she is a dog and a cat Who are my sons But also my boyfriends It's not complicated And so if I want to see her Which I do often

I have to go there Which is fine No problem for me And I have a better schedule She has to bring them She's not going to leave them They're my own men Oh that is problematic

I guess I'm lazier than you because to me like going to Williamsburg sounds like It's really easy though because ever since Are you taking the subway Darren? Because get the fucking hand sanitizer I used it when I came in I coughed all over this mic In fact I made sure to cough in every corner of your apartment

Have you been out of the country In the last? I have not I came back from L.A. on Sunday Does that count? That's a different country. The fuck out of my house there. You didn't even ask me if I had Corona. You were just like, can you make it on Saturday?

And your manager was like, you're so good? And I was like, ugh, I'm fine. I'm sorry, Jeff, I love you. Meanwhile, my producer got tested for coronavirus yesterday. And I'm like, don't even text me, motherfucker. Did he get, did he get this? He doesn't have it. But it made me calmer and let me calm a lot of you down.

How efficient it sounded, because he's in New Hampshire. Let me give you his address. He traveled international, well, Hawaii, non-tron, but he's been to like five different. He obviously took like really bad connecting plates. He was like, I was in five different areas. airports to get to Hawaii. It's like, damn, dude, what did you spend 40 bucks? Fly to Hawaii? Like, spend up, Jeff. Jesus. I'll give you the 300 bucks. Jesus. So he came back not feeling well. He called, well, I'm going to make it, I just want to put

like a Corona PSA. Here we go. He did the like, called his doctor, called like whatever, call whatever. They ended up saying call the, uh, your state's CDC. He called them the same day, even though he was annoyed yet to be on the phone for six hours, the same night he had the test. He drove in his car to this place that they told him they did the swap he said it hurts it's like a large cute tip up your nose but like up your nostril galore yeah he's negative yay jeff but at least it made me happy to know like you can take the proper precautions yeah and you can get tested i think especially if you say you came back from somewhere and you visited yeah but at least that because everything else you know it was a little frightening being on a flight because i was like doing i mean i had to go

because I was recording another podcast that I'm starting. Did you wear a mask? No, but the thing about the mask is that they, unless you're sick, they do not protect it all. They don't do anything. Like, if I walk out in the world, if you're sick right now and I'm wearing a mask that doesn't help anybody, I can still get it.

But if I was sick and you're protecting others. I'm protecting others. So it's like, you know, for me, I feel very conflicted about it, not to get all weird, but on a pop culture podcast, but like my grandfather's in a hospital right now in 95. And I'm like,

if he doesn't have a face mask, because you guys on the street think that you're doing anything to help us when you're not even showing symptoms, it like pisses me off. I get really upset about it because hospitals are running out of those supplies and they need them for the old people who are way more susceptible than us at 31. Right. If we got it, most likely we're not going to die. Yeah, and that's why if you guys listen to Trump's thing yesterday,

which like he didn't say, he didn't say like the important social aspect of it, which like I was telling you before, like, I'm Israeli, so I listen to Israeli news. And, like, Bibi was, Netanyahu was saying the social stuff, which is, and he literally said it in, like, the most basic way, no big words. He was just like, if you're young, if you're 20 and 30, you'll probably be fine. Right. You might not show symptoms. You might cough.

You might, like, have a little, like, flu-like symptoms. But we need to all care about the older people and, like, try to protect them for the reasons you were saying. And to just, like, protect them. So just be smart. If you don't feel well, stay home. Maybe even don't have, you know, don't hang out. Like, don't go visit your grandpa. Well, that's the thing.

I mean, and that's why I won't because I'm like, oh, you're sick. Don't go visit him. But it's also like, I don't know if I'm a carrier. But like, I see all these young people. Darren, get the fuck out of my. I know, right? I'm like, literally like I have it. All of a sudden, I'm feeling lightheaded and I have a sore throat as soon as I walk in here.

But, yeah, like, that kind of annoys me because I also think people are being really ages right now and being like eh i won't get it it's fine like just the old people are like i'm like hello i'm like those people matter you know my parents like they matter yeah you know that's the thing too is listen your immunity goes down if you've been sick before if you're on your period your immunity goes down my mom had chemo that can also like obviously drastically uh reduced your immunity wait dad i'm gonna stop you for one second because i just got anxiety that okay anyway yeah stay safe everyone and wash your hands and protect, you know, but do you believe, like, coffin your sleeve.

Are you getting, I know, my jacket is like germ city. I'm like pressing elevator buttons with it. I'm sneezing into it. Totally holding railings with it. I like opened a ketchup bottle at PJ Clarks the other night with my jacket. Someone looked at me. They were like, what is happening? Okay, guys, if you follow me on Instagram or listen to my podcast,

You know that I've been using pros for my hair for the past over six months. TBH, I have been using the same bottles of pros, shampoo and conditioner, since December. True story. Why? Because ever since I started using pros, I didn't need to wash my hair as much or use as much product. I love it. I can't recommend it enough. You go on their website and you actually.

get a free consultation by them, meaning you fill out kind of this quiz, just everything to personalize your hair care as much as possible. Take your free in-depth hair quiz and get 15% off your first order at pros.com slash not skinny. That's pros, P-R-O-S-E dot com slash not skinny. for your free in-depth quiz to get your personalized hair care and 15% off. I want to go back to how we're a 31. Yeah, let's go back to us being young. But your birthday.

I mean, I was going to call us old a little bit. But in this industry, in the good way that, like, everyone I meet and I'm like thinking, okay, they're probably close to 30. And they're like, I'm 23. We're not old, but we're not young. Is that the name of this podcast? I do, I love being 30-ish. You do too.

Yeah, I never worried about being 30. I thought 30 was like, okay, now I'm an adult. Like, I can't be, like, binge drinking and throwing up on the side of Duane Reeds anymore. Like, I have to, like, be professional because people start taking you seriously in your 30s, certainly in our career, in our line of work. I felt like I got taken seriously a lot more when I're 30s. But I love it. I make more money. I feel like I look better.

Like when I look back at my college pictures of being 21, I'm like, who is that? Wait, did you grow up in New York? I grew up in a suburb in Montclair, New Jersey. And college? I went to Lafayette College in eastern Pennsylvania. Oh. So suburb. I mean, tri-state.

Like a liberal arts kind of school. Yeah. College, yeah. Psychology, Neural Major. And, yeah, I mean, my high school was bigger than my college, so. So we didn't say, like, Darren. Oh, who I am. Who are you?

I'm the Corona queen. Not everyone knows. Like, excuse me. Who are you? You're still Andy Cohen's assistant. Still Andy Cohen's assistant? Or is that just like your title? I feel like it's like...

It's both? You're still assisting him. I'm still his one and only assistant. One and only assistant. You don't have like an assistant to assist you to assist him. I need one, but also like I do that. It seems like a business. job like how do you do other things it's two full-time jobs that I have because I do that and then

I also host my own TV show on people TV called reality check yeah for people um which is Monday through Thursday it's a lot I mean I've been with Andy for nine years so so you go to bravo HQ every day or how does it work no I don't need to I mean back in the day when I started I was like assistant assistant when I was like staff being hired to do that that was that was your first bravo job yeah I was an NBC page right out of college oh why the I should I should have fucking done NBC. You should. You'd been good at it.

I know. Did you not, like, what's the story for there for you? I think. I actually, you're like, uh, no, because a stronger reaction than coronavirus. Jesus, Amanda.

Page program. Because I'll tell you why. I went to school for integrated marketing communications at Ithaca, which was sold to me then as like the place for like communication. Sure. Which like I wanted to communicate. You know. You love communicating.

I love that. It's like your favorite thing. You guys, this is how I chose my major in college. I went to my guidance counselor in high school, Miss Binder. I was like, I literally told her, no, this is not a joke. I was like, philosophy, I think. Should be my, like I had no idea what philosophy was, you guys. I was an idiot.

I came into full maturity, I think, like last year. Like at 35. We're waiting. We're waiting for you to incubate. I was like, then psychology. Like, who are you? Do you know what those words mean? Did you have any interest?

Like, we're like, oh, I'm choosing this because it sounds. Were you like, I like the way humans think? I liked a lot of things. I liked writing. I liked pop culture. I liked acting. But I think my thought was that you had to go for something else. I don't know.

I was an idiot. I was in New York. I was doing drugs, you know, then. Yeah. And now. Like right now. That's the thing about living in New York. You get that away, like when you're 15.

Yeah. It's a playground. Like you're like that and then you're over it. And then now I'm like, I drink a glass of wine. Like I'm so geeky. Like, it's 8.30, I got to go to bed. Like, I can't watch Summer House because I feel like I'm getting drunk off, like, their fireball shots. Right, and those people are like six years older than that.

Like, Kyle, like six years older than us. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, Kyle, you're almost 40. How are you doing this, buddy? Because I'm 31. No, it's not normal. And she's like, but she's like, but she's like, but she's like, but she's like, she's full of shit. She doesn't drink.

She doesn't even like that shit. She pretends. I'm like, stop pretending. She'll come over and I'm like, do you want to smoke some pot? She's like, I'll look at you smoking pot. I'm like, well, that's not the same thing. No, she, legit. She's an athlete.

She came here one day and she was like, do you have wine? I was like, actually, I don't. Why are you pretending? And she's like, oh, no, I just thought you wanted to drink. But like, I don't have to. So, yeah, Hannah Burner is a vague, not just kidding. She's like, she's like a vague alcoholic, but also not. Shout out to Hannah burner.

Can we appreciate Luke's hotness for two seconds? But you're asking a lesbianist because I don't be like, but don't, it's not like you. I know. I know. I should be able to object. think that men are jacked. And that's true. Luke is just not one of those guys for me. I don't get it. I don't understand it. Also, you would, like, you would prefer Armand over Luke? No, that's not the choice you were given. I wasn't, I never said that. I never. He's a universally

hot man, Darren, yes or no? I think that I would, I think mine is an unpopular opinion. What would be? Dealing with Luke. Yeah, I don't get it at all. Stop. If I saw him on the street, I would not turn my head. Stop. Then you wouldn't turn your head for Brad Pitt either? No, I would, but that's Brad Pitt. I feel like he's like in the category. No, not for me. Did you inst stock his...

I would feel like Kyle and Carl are objectively better looking than Luke. I cannot deal with you right now. Not only am I giving you coronavirus, but you're about to kick me out midway through the podcast. Luke is universally hot and you're saying Carl is hotter and I don't know. In my opinion, I think Carl is more attractive objectively than Luke. Carl would be more my type than Luke as it looks and I don't want people I don't want people DMing me and being like are you an idiot look at his body first off I am a hundred percent gay I like women Amanda's my girl page is my girl I've said this out loud Hannah wishes she was my girl

Amanda and her fucking perfect body like go away I know every time I see her I'm like why aren't you gay and also stop don't sit down and show us you have like not a fault even though Darren probably doesn't either, but we'll pretend you're not skinny but not fat person, too, on this podcast. What do I not have? The fold when you sit down. What's the fold? Okay. So tell me what it is.

Just go. Is it like a muffin? Just leave. Is it a muffin top? It's a fold in your stomach when you sit down. What do you mean? What is it? Like folds over your jeans?

What's a fold? I'm genuinely asking. Darren. Yes. A roll. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Amanda. Okay. Amanda's like, we're talking about Amanda Betula, not me. yeah you have four roles you got you got all those roles but no amanda betula a she has huge boobs she has just like she's a great body she's a great body but she's a great face great body so i don't know what she's doing with that i mean these are all my friends so it's weird to talk about like the like part of me i also thinks like things like things that saying luke isn't attractive

would really get on him and that's probably part of the reason why i could say that you know what i mean like but he's like from Minnesota and he makes jewelry so like literally his attractive list level is like decreasing as you talk about his little things for you yeah for me Minnesota what do I care about Minnesota no but like making jewelry like like the how what do you call it is making jewelry like all of a sudden like the epitome of like masculinity and heterosexuality it's cute that he is a hockey instructor for little kids that's cute and and he makes jewelry any models but hannah said that he's not like he's like embarrassed that he models i i mean like whoever says that though like you ever notice that people are like i'm really embarrassed about

being a model but that's like the first thing on their resume you're like i'm a model i'm a hockey coach wait did you watch love is blind of course i did this is how i do things it's really organized um so like loren from loren and cameron who's gorgeous she's like i'm linked and she's a model too Which is surprising. That would make sense. Because on love is bodily butter as content creator. I'm like, everyone's a content creator. It's like being consultant.

I'm like, who are you consulting for? You know what? I don't use that word. When I look in your Instagram tomorrow, it's going to be like, not skinny up that content creator. I'm going to put that as my thing. No, I'm telling you, I hate that word. I don't use it.

The thing is I should use it because I have like five jobs. Yeah. And I should just put like fucking content creator. Okay. So, Andy says isn't content creator. So you assist Andy. all day or a day, but you don't have to go into Bravo. You can do it remotely.

I can do, yeah, thank God. We've been planning for the coronavirus for about five years now. Yeah, I mean, listen, like I've been with them. Oh, sorry. You were a page. I got angry about it. I was an NBC page. Yeah, you were pissed.

Yeah. Why are you pissed again? We never got there. Sorry. So I went to school for Integrated Marketing Communications, and I was in this bubble of like advertising, marketing and internships. And I did an internship every summer in New York. So I think by the time.

In entertainment? In entertainment, yeah. And by the time I got to like, I think it was like maybe junior year when people were doing page or after college. After college. I was like, I went to Israel. I went to Israel. Okay. I left.

I was like before I start my career, which I thought I was going to be like editor of Vogue. We're still waiting for you to start one. But I'll let you know what. Audience, I will let you know when Amanda has decided to start her career. And that's what I told. I actually, I think I spoke about this on my podcast or like someplace that when I lived in Israel, because what happened. was I went to Israel for like, I ended up staying five years because I met my husband. I stayed. And I kept on being like to him, if I was in New York right now, I'd basically

be like Anna Wintor. And like I'd basically be the editor of Vogue. I think that's what you're halting my life. Right. It's easy to blame him. Yeah. When we get back and I'm like, editor of Vogue like job. Send my resume. The last thing is like in Hebrew. No one knows like who I am what I do. Welcome to my life. So I think that's, my bitterness was that. that I was so important to me for so many years. And by the end, I was like, oh, my God, my whole college, I was such a nerd. I worked every summer I did an internship. Me too.

I was like, resume and like inter, and then by the end where it was like probably maybe a little bit more important, why is it more important? Because you went straight from that to your job. Right. What did you do in Israel though? Like stupid shit. Like, did you work in entertainment at all? No, because in Israel, it was like very small at the time when I just got there.

And I was getting jobs that were based on like, oh, you speak. speak English. You know what I mean? You have perfect English. So, like, I did, like, random things, like, writing things. Because I imagine, like, in Tel Aviv, certainly, like, the media has got to be, you know, just as important as in New York. So I was, I was curious about that.

I didn't get into it right away. And then when I wanted to, it was, like, starting very low. Did you feel like when you came back, you were too old to be in the program? Is that the problem? Or you just like, yeah. Because I think people are like, it's either right after college or bust. And I was a page with, like, 20. 26 year olds. I was 22, but I was with it with, you know, quote unquote, older people who

would already been in the workforce. So you guys, so this is, just see you know. It is. It is. It did change, though, since I've been there. So I got, I graduated from the program 10 years ago. And so when you do that, well, I mean, roughly 10 years ago, you could leave and start at any time when I was doing that. But now you have to stay the full year. And there's certain enrollment periods that you can, but you have to stay the full year. And technically I got the Andy job eight and a half months into the program. Oh, cool. So I probably wouldn't have gotten it.

It was, I was very lucky with the timing that I was involved. You know what I mean? But it's a great program. I loved it. Did you, was, what was happening with Andy 10 years ago? He was on air one night a week. He had just started. It was a digital show.

Who is this joke? Well, even then, like people were still calling him Andrew Cohen, like around NBC. Because it was, the job was out to be the coordinator, which is an assistant in NBC. To be the coordinator for the evening. of production and development at Bravo, this guy named Andrew Cohen. And he had a show on air one night a week. What was the show? Watch What happens live?

And I had to, I remember, I didn't want the job at all. Like, I didn't know who he was. I never watched Bravo. I didn't care about it at all. Like, I was a news girl. I wanted to go work, because I wanted to be a game show host. Yeah. And I wanted to be on air, but, like, I didn't really know.

There's no, like, correct path to go do that. Game show host. Give me an example of a game show host now. Wayne Brady, Regis Philbin. At Sajack, Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen DeGeneres, Alex Baldwin. No, but like, what game shows are there now? Oh, there's tons.

I mean, there's a huge resurgence of games. I mean, listen, Joe McHale just read it. I want to say it was card sharks. There's a huge, huge thirst. That's just a specific thing. I wanted to be a game show. Since I was seven. I wanted this for over 20 years.

Yeah, for 25 years I wanted to do that. So that's my path. I have crazy game show stories that have happened to me. Like, of all the things that I want to do. First off, it's a memorable thing. Like, you're always going to remember. that about me. You know, it's one of those things. Yeah. And I've had weird game show things happen to me, which is why I think it's possible.

But I wanted to do that. And there was no like proper job to go become like on-air talent. It's not like you get to do that. I wanted to go be a reporter in bum fuck Idaho and like work your way up because that's how they did it back in the 80s and 90s. You know what I mean? You get discovered in your local market. Like the morning show. Exactly. Exactly. And that was the only way that I knew how to do it. And I didn't want to be an assistant. I honestly looked down on it. I did. But you took it. Well, then my page boss is invited me back in. They were like, we really think this is the right job for you. And we,

you need a mentor if you want to do this. You really need someone that you can rely on. His Rolodex is amazing. And we think your personalities would get along. And they were right. And they saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. And it's been nine years with him. That's crazy. Yeah. It was kind of wild. It's been a wild ride. He's an amazing man. He's the best mentor I could ever ask for. Literally. Do you see yourself doing it forves? No, I thought three years I was going to devote three years to it Because once I got it and I met him

You sound like such a planned out person Very, very regimented But the weird thing about me is because I have OCD And I'm so regimented Is that like most of my career in my life has happened While I've been making those plans Like my dad always said like life is what happens When you're making other plans

That's 100% sure for me Or like we make plans and God laughs Yeah, right Yes, sure Yeah, God's definitely laughing at me for sure but yeah it was like three years you know i i understood the value of him i understood what he could do for me but i was like i don't want to be an assistant forever you know and then and then things shifted and we left together and i started getting opportunities on my own what do you mean you left together

well he i think about three years in i want to say it was 2014 and i started with him in 2011 he wanted to leave being the executive at bravo and being the head of development so he's like I want to go focus on being talent. So I'm still going to EP all the housewives. I'm still going to EP my show. But I'm going to start a production company called Most Talkative. And you have two options, Darren. So I've said them for about three years and he was like, two options.

You can stay at NBC, get a 401K, get health insurance, all that stuff very much so matters, especially for a woman. You know, I didn't know what my life is going to look like. You can assist me and assist the new head of development. Or you can leave with me and run the world and we'll figure it out. And I was like, well, I'm going to leave with you and go run the world. We'll figure it out. And that's what we've done. And so since then, I've just stuck with him.

And, you know, I mean, at that level, because he sort of got really famous while I was with him, I've gotten firsthand knowledge of what that's like and how to handle a career like that. And so I sort of came in at this amazing time at his point in life. And does he support you, like, succeeding on your own? Yes. That's important. The thing about that is, you know, people always come up to me and they have opinions about Andy. You know, they always are like, he's this, he's that.

He's the other thing. Always. And listen, like, I know him really, really well. And if they know me, they would know that I wouldn't be with someone who was horrible for nine years and have no plan in leaving. People think he's horrible. Some people, I think, yeah. I mean, I think they see what they want to see or they look at the housewives and they think that it's a bad look for women and stuff like that. They don't see all the thing that he's brought to people's lives.

It's easy to judge a celebrity, for sure, no matter what. And people always ask me, like, is he a nice guy? I'm like, he's the best. Like, I wouldn't be with him for this long if he didn't. Because he knew I didn't want to be an assistant forever. I told him I wanted to be a game show host, like first meeting, first interview. And he even said at BravoCon when I was doing an Ask Andy in front of like 2,000 people. He was like, Darren's following in my footsteps.

And I think by saying that she wants to be a game show host, most executives would have been like, you know, like, I don't want that. He's like, but I understood her. I got her. And we're moving in this world together. And I thought it was like the best compliment I could ever get. That's amazing. So he supports you like, because you're doing other shit now.

So he, like, knows you're doing the people see being. Yep. So every day you have that commitment. So he knows you have other commitments. That's amazing. I went to him and I was like, can I do this? You know, how do you feel about this? I'm going to be gone 12 to 4 every day.

Like, that's a big chunk of the day. That's a big chunk of the day. Got to get my hair and makeup, blah, blah, blah. He was like, absolutely, go do that. He's like 100%. I'm just. Remembering now that when Darren walked in, I was like, you're so pretty. Like, I don't think we've ever met.

She didn't even return the compliment, you guys. I mean, I did say, you're gorgeous. No, you did not. And I love your shirt. And you go, this thing? This is my house shirt. This is, I rolled out a bit. First of all, I did.

But then, wait, this continues. Amanda. This continues, you guys. Then I look at her and I'm like, oh, you have really cute freckles. And what did you? And you were like, oh, and I'm not wearing any makeup. just you know you make it seem like I said

it's such a dick I was like oh I'm not wearing any makeup that's good that's annoying if someone is like you're gorgeous oh but it's kind of like now I'm thinking

that I'm kind of annoying because sometimes if I'll look gorge in a pick I'll hashtag it no filter no filler see so you pull the darn card yeah you're such a dick

you're an equal dick as well it's like me but you're a dick from birth and I'll tell you why and I've thought about this before you came okay dick from birth

yeah I'm going to to put that on my Instagram. That's a good bio. Fame adjacent, Dick from birth. That's good. So you were born into being cool because your parents gave you a cool name. Thank you. I never thought that.

You've never thought that. You haven't thanked them and said you made me really. When I was a kid, I hated my name. Because when you were a kid, and I mean like pre being 16, all you want to do is fit in. Right? And like having a name like Darren, I never had boobs. Like, you know, and that really meant. Like when I was quote unquote straight or I thought I was straight and you want to get boys, like when you're 14, boobs matter. You know what I mean? Like 100%. And you're Darren, which is like a unisex name and you don't have boobs. Correct. And so it's like, and I also was like having feelings for girls. So it was like a really awkward time for me. That is interesting. And I didn't like, you know, people shockingly enough like they'll say my name wrong. I hated it. How'd they say it? I've got Darwin before. I've like like Doreen. Like they just can't seem to get it. I'm like it's phonetic.

It just has a why in it. Like, not that I'm going to a deal. And then I grew up, I went to college, and I was like, you know what? I have, like, a good name. Like, I really like my name. And I think I had to grow into my name. It's a good, like, stage name. Like, I would think that it was, like, a made-up name.

Yeah, yeah. Oddly enough, it does seem that. And she's Jewish. I am. My dad got to choose to name me. My mom named my brother. So my dad. What's your brother's name?

Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan. My mom wanted to name me Skyler. So I told my parents, I was like, no matter what, you guys were making me gay. I was like I know this is Skyler and Darren like I was like come on guys sorry Skyler is I don't know It seems like it's like it's like a boy name it's like androgynous what is

Skyler and Darren true Skyler is Skyler could go both ways true I mean it's sort of a joke but I was like mom dad You can't be surprised I'm gay you need me fucking Darren come on like I mean that is kind of funny Yeah I was like I played sports like come on guys that is so funny so you always always loved sports Yeah I kind of wish like I get mad at my mom until today that she decided I mean, I know you can tell him so feminine by, like, what I'm wearing. Yeah, you're like so pretty and you're playing with Velcro on your podcast. This is going to sound good. My favorite is going to murder me.

He's like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, she never signed me up for sports. She decided my sisters are both like, they always played sports, you know. Are they older? No, one younger, one older. That's the thing. She decided she was like, ballet. She was like, yeah, they made me like.

And it's so cute because my mom today apologizes because I'm very sensitive and I have like a lot of anxiety and my mom literally thinks it's because of her because she always made like my sisters like strong and like can play sports and lift things and for Amanda was like oh like give Amanda the wire of the TV to hold like while my sister is moving me into college holding a giant TV and I'm like I got the cord Amanda will go get us snacks yeah so my mom is like it's because of me I made you but I've discovered my strength within you know of course are you you're strong Look at that. I almost see definition.

Almost. Almost. It's like if I squint. Darren, I love you, but we got to start talking about what really matters in the world, which isn't Corona, isn't like... I hope it's Bachelor. Let's start with Bachelor. Okay. Okay.

Bachelor Nation say what? Oh my God, no way. Oh, oh, oh, oh my God. I'm ready. I'm ready. Talking to a gorgeous girl, sensitive ballet dancer. A compliment fishing. So, wait, I want to know.

How do you have time for... Do you watch all Bravo? Are you committed to watch, like, all Bravo? I watch all of the housewives. I watch Vanderpump Rules. Okay. Pretty religiously. I watch the other ones, but not as strict because it's...

I don't know what to do. It's hard. We have to talk about so much. I won't talk about everything. I watch a lot of reality. Challenge is my favorite show on TV. Like, hands down, it's coming back April. The challenge?

Love it. Is Brad still on it? Is CJ still on it? T.J. Lavin is still the host. I'm making names. No. C.T. CT one last season.

and he's on this season. Is he 57? He's like 400 years old. But he's still like, he has such a dad bodod now. Like he's kind of fat. He's like definitely not skinny and he's definitely kind of fat. That's the name of my spin-off podcast to this. Definitely not skinny.

Definitely kind of fat. And he won last season. He won in a group. Wasn't he with the girl? Yeah. She passed away, right? She passed away a couple years ago. I used to be, that's the thing I was going to tell you before, which I was like,

Darren, we'll be able to do this in an hour. And we're talking so much because I love you. I love you too. I used to, oh, because this is part of my bitterness. I love celebrities, pop culture, and all that shit since I was like born. Right. For real. But I think it took me really until, remember I said I mature in the last year, like until I started my Instagram to like admitted and also not

think that means I'm shallow or that means I'm stupid or that means and it has to do with a lot of things. It has to do with how. I went to, I went to high school. Wow. Like, literally, between, like, my ringer's off. I haven't looked at my phone once. I haven't played with anything. I've just slipped my coffee.

You're like freaking out, playing with Velcro. We're doing this out of your apartment. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I've really matured since starting my podcast. Ding! But I just want to say there are, because I'm sure there are other people that feel this too.

I went to high school in New York. That's why I asked you where you went. It was a very liberal. All my friends went to protest every day. What was your high school? Beacon. Okay. They didn't give grades.

We had like assessments. It was a very liberal, very like progressive. And I had just come from Israel where it's like so different. Anyway. Yeah. And people are and it's much more like conservative and I came to this like liberal progressive high school. My point is I was embarrassed that like I liked celebrities and my friends are like going to anti George Bush protests and like going to jail.

Like my best. friend in high school used to call me from jail because she got arrested at like demonstrations and protests. So I was very different with your life, Amanda. Jesus. That's what I'm saying. I was very, very different than the crew I was hanging out with. And my older sister would always make fun. I remember even when I went to college for communications. And I remember being at a family dinner and my sister was like, and my mom's friend was like, Amanda, what are you going to school for? And I was like, oh, communications, like advertising, public relations, blah, blah. I remember my older sister being like, she wants she like only cares about celebrities

I'm like only cares about and like said something and I remember crying because I think it took me today people see me on Instagram and I'm like this is what I care about whatever I wasn't it was like that you know I thought it was I thought I should be more political and

read more and and and that it felt like I maybe was I swear I'm smart but so it's important and I feel like talking about this shit is such good escapism from like all the shit and that's the most

important and that's the messages that I love getting from my followers is like thank you for like letting us find a brain vacation yeah like yeah I mean that's sort of how I found it also I found even with Andy because like him and I I consider us both intellectuals and like I'm able to sort of like therapies or intellectualize a lot of these pop culture shows that I watch

And, like, it isn't, it isn't as lowbrow as I originally thought that it was years ago. Like, when I didn't like Bravo and I didn't like housewives. I mean, I'm talking 10, 12 years ago. I definitely look down on it. And now I see this newfound not only love and respect, but also kind of how that seeps into our culture. And we're learning a lot of stuff, even about women empowerment and, like, the definition of what a housewife is. You know what I mean? Not only how, but there are important conversations in these.

You know, even Vanderpump, we had Jackson and Britney's wedding and homophobia. Look at Jersey. I mean, the thing about Jersey, I'm obviously from Jersey. So I always like that franchise because they live near me and I always understood sort of the Jersey woman. But like, Teresa and her husband, you know, and him not being able to come back. Like, if that's a real thing that happened, and it may or may not have happened for the show, I think a lot of people think that it happened for the show because they were living this lavish lifestyle. You mean because of the show?

Because of the show. Because of the show. that they sort of got caught or they made an example of. Yeah, for sure. And that might be true. That might not be true. It doesn't really matter. But the point is that, like, we're documenting something that's actually happening in real

time. And it's not just them that are being affected by it. But there's four girls that we've all sort of grown up with. And it's sad. It's really heartbreaking to watch. You know, it's not just a Viva throwing her leg across the Cirque. You know, this is a real issue. And it brings to light a lot of things that I think people weren't thinking about before.

Yeah. Whether it's immigration policy or not. Like, real consequences in the real world. I mean, I remember when Taylor Armstrong's husband, Russell, committed suicide. And I broke that news to the EP because I had heard about it first in the office. And, like, when the EP had called me and he was just like, carp, what's going on, like messing around? And I was like, oh, you didn't hear? Like, blah, blah, blah.

And he was like, oh, my God. Like, I got to go. And just that, like, seeing that, like, play out in real life was, I mean, it was the first dose of being like, oh, this. This isn't just like a TV show. This is really affecting people's lives and real mental health issues and something that I think Bravo can do a really good job of of making people aware. I think that's such a good point. And people today are looking constantly for people to relate to, for people to look up to that are going through the same things. They might be going through.

And people are starting to show it a lot more. Rihanna on VPR with like her depression. Yeah. She's being very vocal about it. Which is good because I think a lot of people, you know, for me, I don't have. have depression, but I've dated people with it. And I've certainly had people in my family with it. And you can look at someone and you could be like, oh, they're such a wet blanket to be around. You know what I mean? And that's true for some people. Some people are just annoying and

wet blankety to be around and they're very negative. But if you have depression, that judgment of someone who is depressed, I mean, like, I can't imagine wanting to wake up every day and wanting to think about killing myself. Like, that's such a different dark reality. And sometimes you don't know it. Like, I had a really good friend in college and she also was struggling with her, um, you know, uh, sexuality at the time, not know, I didn't know it. Right. Unbeknownst to you. But unbeknownst to me. And she was so annoying. Like, we'll joke about it now. Like we would have the best time and all of a sudden we, she'd shut down completely. And then you're the annoying, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's on? What's on?

What's on? And the other person is like, nothing, nothing, nothing. And all of a sudden, you're like, I'm stuck with this fucking bitch who's so annoying to be, like, I went away with her for a weekend. And it's like, that's it. She shut down. No one to talk to. You think you did something wrong and we talk about it today and she was like I was going through so much like depression uh dealing with my sexuality right all that shit so sometimes the person doesn't even know the people surrounding them don't even know but that's why we have to try to be like sensitive about other people but Darren yes we have more important shit let's do it I'm ready I'm here fuck depression screw you let's go let's talk about the things that really matter

barb fucking sweet numbs oh my god are you pulling up an outline right now I love it that we didn't follow yeah no you were just like all right let's go back to page

program I'm fun I'm on the wrong for the ride here so that we were saying you have time to watch The Bachelor too which took over my life kind of like I feel like when the Bachelor is on like Bravo I can handle like all

I could be like, okay, Summer House, VPR, blah, blah, blah, Jersey. Bachelor is like eight's two nights a week. It's fucking two hours a night. Well, it's one night a week, but Bachelor in Paradise is two nights a week. And sometimes it does feel like it's two nights a week. I will say that. And two nights a week was a finale. But there's also the social media aspect is much larger than Bravo, which, like, I would

love to talk about that, too, is like, I am, like, numbers official. And, like, I get shocked how, like, these Bachelor people jump to start them so quickly, whereas, like, fucking poor Kristen Doty is, like, not even at a mill. She's on TV for 10 fucking years. Yeah, but you're also hitting, you know, Bravo. Bachelor is the, Bachelor Nation is the only thing I think that could combat Bravo as an entire network. Like, BravoCon, it's the only network that could do that in terms of television. Right, because it's niche and it's culty and it's whatever.

And everyone loves everything. And the only thing that could do that is, like, a Bachelor con. What isn't as big Bachelor? I mean, like more people than, I mean, I feel like it's as simple as more people are watching The Bachelor. I mean, it's a different sometimes

between cable and broadcasts. Right, right. You know what I mean? And also, like, you're getting the whole swath of the country. You're getting all different types of people. You know, Bravo was a little, first off, you have to have cable,

which, you know, not everyone has cable anymore. People probably find me someone when they're like, where are you watching this? And I'm like, Bravo. It also has... You want me to tell them, like, where to watch it. Yeah, exactly. like television, you're like, I turn on Channel 5.

But also, like, you're spread out. Like, people in Bravo, like, there are people who love everything about Bravo, love everything that they're going to put out. And then there's people who are like, I only like housewives and I only like Manorup Rules and I only like this. Bachelor, it's like all or nothing. All or nothing. And people watch Bachelor, ironically, which is how I watch it.

And it's just as entertaining if you do it that way. Whether or not you believe in it or not, it doesn't really matter. You watch it ironically. Do not get sucked in sometimes and you're like not. sarcastic about it and you're not and you're just like in it for real zes i mean like i could never i could never subscribe to the fact that like these people are like meeting under real life circumstances like yeah if i was going on a helicopter ride around her hawaii and going to new zealand and like having a picnic on the hollywood sign like i could fall in love with i could fall in love with

luke from summerhouse for fuck's sake um i could do that yeah um but you know the timeline and everything And also that they're gorgeous 20-year-olds who are pretending that they can only find love this way and they're dying to get married and they're dying or whatever. And they've struggled their whole life and they've been through so much heartache. And, you know, I don't want to be an ageist, but I'm like, you haven't. Like, and you just haven't. Like, even if you're 23 and you've been in relationships before, you just don't know the real-life consequence because you're not a full person yet. Like, I don't believe you're a full person really until you're 25. Like that's like you've had a job, Hannah Ann.

And paid rent and, like, been on your own and, like, really struggled with yourself first. That's the only way. I always say you have to say I before you can say I love you. And in that sort of way, like, they just don't have any real-world consequences. I think I'm starting to fall in love with you, Darren. It's not I love you, okay? I know. You're in love with me.

I will give you my final rose. But also, let's talk about how Peter's 28 and live with his parents. So, you know, the level of independence that we're asking of these people is a little, He went down. You said Luke is going down in attractiveness. Peter, this is what we need to remember. Peter left Hannah Brown season. Everyone was like, why'd she pick Jed?

Why didn't she pick Peter? He was so cute. He was a pilot. He's so amazing. And Peter's kind of like a fuck boy too now. You know what I mean? Like, do you think he turned into a little bit of like the Tyler C? I know.

And I talked so much shit about Tyler C. Darren. I'm like the number one. And like Tyler C shit talker, his mom just passed away. So I don't, I obviously feel for him. And my hate for him is more, I'm going to copy you, ironic. No, I'm just kidding. But it pissed me off because I was actually duped.

Like, I was like, Tyler C. He's such a gentleman. And like, she didn't want to have sex with him. He was okay with it. And also like, Tyler Z. He's so beautiful. He's Paul Newman. And then he comes out and he's like the thirstiest, thirst for there ever was.

I think it was like how. And that's the thing about Bachelor, to your point about Bravo, it's like, these people, that's how they start. Like, that's a rise to fame. Like, all of a sudden, almost everyone knows who they are. Certainly if you're in the top six. And even more today, like today it's become so intertwined with actual Hollywood. Like, Maddie's fucking hanging out with Selena Gomez, Darren.

I know. I mean, Wells is engaged to Sarah Hyland. Right. That was like the first. But like, yeah, right. You're right. But like, at least he was like, we need to. Okay.

But that's like a sexual thing. and like a guy wants a girl thing and somehow he got connected to her. But Selena Gomez, like, puts up this story on the first night of the finale and is like, I love Maddie. The next day they're hanging out at Target, like playing board games.

Like, how does that happen? Like, I love, like... Kim Kardashian just called Chris Harrison to, like, talk about the finale. Like, and that's what people are just doing. Like, that's just what's... The world has become, and it's good for me. You know what I mean?

Like, I feel like people don't understand. how strong, like, social media has become, how crazy the world is where you can get to almost fucking anyone. I mean, I will, and that's the thing. It's like, I asked people, I'm like, oh, how did you meet your business? And they're like, oh, they slid into my DMs. And I'm like, that's a thing. Like, I can't believe that's a thing.

Like, it's one thing to say that, like, you're single in New York and you're on Grindr and you're doing this. You're doing that and you're on Tinder. But, like, for actual famous people, I'm like, how the fuck are you doing this? Like, dating thing. I will say, I do think that Andy was, Andy's show was sort of one of the first. you know, when Jennifer Lawrence is such a big, like, housewife's fan or a Vanderpump fan, and then Andy can show Dorinda and Luann at dinner, and she's freaking out.

I mean, that was sort of the first thing for me. I was like, wow. That celebrities, like, are so into it. It's a high-brow-low-brow thing, and I totally get it. And it's like inherent throughout our whole culture now. And it became with, right, it became with Bachelor, too. It's Bravo, but it's also the Bachelor world. But there's a difference between I love that person and then hanging out.

Like, I want to know how that happened. I want to know how Selena was like, I love Maddie. she's also a god lord person want to come over tomorrow play board games heavily god lord person right yes do you want to like hang out i'd be like yeah i'll hang out but like but i feel like that doesn't happen in real life like i'm friendly with so many people like i'm friendly with bravo but i'm like but i'm saying it like oh yeah i don't want to like cross that line like so i'm just like how does it happen and who else was hanging out oh hannah ann was hanging out like Patrick schwarzenegger who cares about him i know everyone's like oh Hannah ann's making you popular

Patrick. And also Hannah-Anne is doing TikToks and like the thing is you're- Ann's going to be fine. Talk about someone who's like the most gorgeous person ever. She's 23. She's so hot. Like she came up. She moved to L.A. during Corona, you guys.

She's like, she literally didn't wait. She knows what she's about to fucking take off. I mean, like, I, the thing about Hannah Ann is like, it's very, it would be very easy to make fun of her because, like, you know, would be like, oh, she's so stupid or I don't know anything about her. Like, we didn't really get her story arc the entire season. She's like completely a different person. in interviews now.

Completely different person. Like the only personality I saw of her was at the end where she was like, you need to be a man. And then Barb was like, like clapping against her son. And I was like,

what is happening right now? I was like, I sort of feel bad for Peter and I didn't want to be in a world where I was feeling bad for like the Bachelor. But like here I am. This is fucking 2020.

Quarantine with Corona and feeling bad for Peter. Because Peter, first of all, the whole season it felt like he wasn't strong enough to be the bachelor you know what I mean like the women were turning and also the women were like controlling the narrative more than him yes it's like usually you're like you're chasing out it's whatever that's the fucking format you're chasing after the bachelor like you're not the one to tell him I think I'm going home like I'm over it like you're not the one to say I don't know how I'm feeling now like he's the one he makes the decisions when he got yelled out with that football down so when they were like you know we broke our knees and have bruises and you're just allowing this girl to come back in he was like his face the whole season i was like this man isn't enjoying his time but can i tell you we're talking about she was crying the entire time and then he like busted open his own face which you know what i that was the moment

i related to him the most because i'm like i could see doing that yeah you know like a ricochet of like hitting your face with the glass like so many things to happen i want to say about sliding into The DMs that I just saw Kelsey, she was on Nick Vile's podcast. I'll talk about a thirst monster. Yeah, everyone fucking hates him. It's so unanimous. I don't hate him. I mean, I don't have a strong opinion about him, but I don't, he never left a good taste

in my mouth. Yeah, I think that's his schick, though. I think he's a vile, vile. Nick Vial, vial. He, like, compliments himself, but not sarcastically. It's so funny. Like, he literally, like, he celebrates, like, podcast listens. Like, no one does that.

you know what I mean it's not information that you like release you know what I mean he's like he's very he's very so I listened to a little bit to his interview with Kelsey and she said no one slides into her DMs because everyone thinks she's bad shit crazy because of champagne gate I mean that's the thing too is like when we're talking about watching ironically in terms of me like catching myself like being involved in it can I ever just be in it yeah the problem is like I so know a producer's poll now like after our umpteenth what is it's the 24th season or whatever it is like yeah that champagne thing You and I both know that that was a producer's pull of being like,

we're just going to hand this bottle of champagne to Han and then hear the pop. Like, it was almost, this season especially annoyed me because it was so manufactured just in every little way. And we didn't get any story arc. I mean, even with the last episode where Hannah-Anne was like, you know, Chris Harrison was like, we don't know if Hannah-Anne's going to show up. We saw no ISO isolated shot of her being like, I don't know if I want to show up because of this is. We saw her lying on the bed. We saw her lying on the bed with like,

I don't even know what she was thinking, probably getting ready, and then boom, she's in the car. And I'm like, why don't we getting anything about her being like, I don't know. Also with Maddie, though, when they didn't know if Maddie was going to show up. She's just like, at home. Like, and Chris Harrison's like, all right, guess we're going out of L.A. I'm like, okay.

Like, do we not care about the fact that he still fucked three, two other women? Like, I'm concerned. Like, the whole thing just made no sense because even for me with Maddie, who I really liked, and I'm not a religious, person and I don't, I, I'm not the type of person who thinks you should save yourself for marriage, but I get her storyline to do that. The entire beginning of this bachelor season was him fucking in a windmill four times. They used that joke how many times? Four thousand, like, so how can you like her? So why would you continue with him knowing he's already had sex

blatantly, let alone with other two women? So it's like, the argument didn't make much sense to me. But then top it off with the fact that then Chris Harrison brought her back and someone, as someone who wouldn't agree to be with him after he slept with four women, you're agreeing to be with him after he was engaged to another woman. Right, right. And like, said he loves her and wants to be with her. So I'm confused this to why you're going on in the bachelor in the first place. Like, why are we doing this? So Maddie, I feel like that's why I don't get her thing is that, A, you came on the bachelor, knowing Fantasy Suite week, knowing. It's our 24th season. Like, come on. Knowing who the bachelor is and he's like, I mean, he's sexual, which surprised me too. Like, I didn't look at Peter

and say, like, he's a five-time. He's a Luke from Summerhouse. I didn't think he was a stallion like Luke. You need to get Luke on here, except you're going to be shivitzing. No, that's not true, because I, the fact that he's hot doesn't make me think I want to, like, he's like a good guest. You know what I mean? Do we want Tyler C on here?

I couldn't, after everything I said, unless I was not a pussy. Because I've thought about it. Unless I wasn't a pussy and I could be like, Tyler, I've talked so much at. about you, but I'm taking it all back because you're looking deep into my eyes. True. But I did joke about having, you know, his best friend, Matt James. Isn't he on Claire Crawley's season? But do you understand that?

The 38-year-old? No, but Darren, we need to talk about that because I was excited when she was announced because I wanted Silver Foxes. I wanted Ari's that have homes and have jobs. And have personality. And Ari had no personality. Okay, but I didn't mean Ari in that way. I meant Ari in the way that he lived in Arizona.

Right. He was a broker or something. A race car driver. I don't even know. I'm like, okay. Computers. No, I think he does like also real estate or something. He was a content creator.

Let's be honest. But even today, talk shit as much as you want about Ari. He's living in Arizona, not in L.A. with Lauren. They have a baby. They have a baby hashtag. They have a baby Instagram. Say what you want. Yeah, they are living the life that you would expect.

Like not like I want to be famous and I'm going to be in the spotlight. But like, came here for love. found love and I'm going to move back to where I wanted to be. Right. And I really feel like Lauren was that type of person. She was ready to be like a stay at home mom. Ari was the guy to give her that. She didn't care if it was Arizona or Alaska. Like she wanted to be with him and she wanted to go there. With everyone else, like, I mean, look at Ashley I and Jared. It's like, let's monopolize our relationship. Like forever. After I came back into like the, what was it? The women tell all. She like came back. I was like, I actually know Ashley. She's actually

very nice. And I do kind of like that she ended up with Jerry just because like with everything. But can you believe it like as a person like can you be like someone who didn't want someone so badly all of a sudden want someone i feel like that doesn't happen i know and i'm very confused by it because i'm like did she wear on him or like what you once want to ask him like what changed like did you have sex maybe the sex changed it that's true i could see that happening i mean that's the thing too is like with peter and with the finale and i think everyone especially his mom looks at him like such a dick for doing that. I mean, to be fair, if I really want to take out the irony of everything that's going on

and I really want to look at it as like a real life situation as a fan, I mean, yeah, like if you're in love with two people and I am the type of person that believes that you can be in love, I believe in polyamory, if you are actually in love with two people, and we could argue whether or not he was in love with Hannah Ann the whole time. What's happening outside your building right now? Someone's screaming on us? Not skinny, not bad. Stop.

It's Madison and Hannah. Yeah, I know, it's Madison. No paparazzi. If, if you get broken up with and then within a 40-hour window need to decide of whether or not you're going to get engaged this person, I could argue that I don't think that he should have proposed, but I also understand the mentality of saying, I don't want to lose this gorgeous person right in front of me that I could get engaged to, and these feelings for Madison could dissipate. Right.

I definitely believed him when he said that. Because I was like, that's a real thing that happens in real life. And he should have been honest. The only argument there was that he should have said, listen, he should have pulled her aside. And again, we don't know how much, because this season was really manufactured. And we had no story to go on. And Peter should also be pissed because I even feel like the finale was staged. Like, I don't think him and Madison had any intention of being together.

They showed no, they had no resolve. just kind of like, I guess we'll wait and see. And he was like day by day. Like, what do you mean? You wanted to marry her two seconds ago. Your mom fucking hates her. This isn't going to last five minutes. They had no body language showing that they were in any way, shape, or form close.

Yeah, nothing. So why didn't they, they weren't on? Even that was, I feel like ABC was like, you know, we got to throw something together. We got to give the people something. You can't be a bachelor that isn't even trying to make it work with either woman. Yeah, exactly. I mean, because even with R.E. season, like, yes, he did that thing with Becca, but then he got Lauren at the end. And so you're like, you know what? Like, he chose wrong originally, but this feels like a light little bow at the end of this 10, 12-week tunnel we've all been down trying to figure it out. With Peter, it was like, oh, so you're back to square one. Also, did you notice one, two things. One, all of a sudden Kelly was sitting in the audience again, even though she wasn't at the women tell all. No idea. No, not even any reference to her. Okay.

And then two, my favorite part about the whole season was in the proposal to Hannah-Anne, how he's like talking about it. I mean, she loves her and this and that. It was almost like edited in where he was like, Madison left two days ago. Yeah. And then went back to like the proposal. And I was like, did they just edit in this segment of like him talking about Madison? Because a lot of people are also thinking that he pulled a Ross and like said Madison instead of Hannah-Anne.

Like people are speculating about that because it was like, he was like looked at him. he was like Madison and she was like and he's like left two days ago it was weird editing and I was like you know I'm not a sap I don't want to I don't even want to necessarily be married or the proposal thing but I'm not about if I was your girlfriend I'd like break up with you after this podcast no she's the same way okay she's the same way I'm into Pallyamory I don't want to get married like I don't like I mean to be fair I can only I want Amanda Batula like it's too much I was only allowed to be married five years ago so just goes I mean like government you know so to me like that just goes to show how little it means to me like because if i wanted to get if i was

born at a different time and i was with my girlfriend and we wanted to have a partnership like the government doesn't legitimize that for me i legitimize that for me so it's like i just i don't subscribe in that way but if i was the type and if i was the type to want to be proposed to i guarantee i would not be the type of woman who would want another woman's name name mentioned in my proposal and it was like you're so hot like a supermodel blank and therefore I want to marry you. That's the only context under which it's okay to mention another woman. It was so uncomfortable.

And then Hannah-Han was like, oh, my word. Oh, my word. I was like she has absolutely no idea what she's getting herself into right now. She's 23. It just goes to the show. She's not ready to be married. No, she was shocked and I feel like, I mean, was she? I think her face wasn't like.

I mean, she was on like Ellen the next day. No, that's what I'm saying. This is the best thing that ever happened to her. That night, I bought. it. That's what I'm trying to say. I wasn't being, um, you know, sarcastic or cynical about it. I was like, go Hannah Ann, like go women. Like she told him, because she did tell him, you know, she fucking told him. He accepted it. But then the next day, first of all, blossoming on Ellen. I know.

Clapping for herself. I know, right? She's like, yeah. Oh, my God. Absolutely blossoming on with Sean Hayes. Every question John Hayes asked her, he's like, so blah, blah, blah. And she's like, Me, okay. He's like, are you taking? She's like, I'm single. I'm like, whoa, you're still 23. It was so much. And then the most annoying thing, and I told you already that I was anti-Tyler C. He asked her who she would want to date for matronation. She looks at the audience and she goes, obviously, Tyler C. I'm like, really? I'm like. She clapped for herself after that one, too. And that's just so gross. Like, say someone not so obvious, you know? He dated Gigi Hadid. You know, like he's not... He's not coming back on the bachelor... He's not coming back in Bachelor of Paradise. No.

Also, I interviewed on my reality check show one of the first weeks... Do you remember Marissa, spelled with a U though? Yeah. Okay, so she was like eliminated. I want to see she was half black maybe or... Anyway, she's gorgeous. And I asked her at the end of the interview.

I was like, do you want to go on Bachelor in Paradise? She's like, well, I wouldn't say no. And I was like, who would you want to see on Bachelor in Paradise? And she's like, Mike, I think is really cute. Like, she was naming a couple guys. And then she was like, I don't know. Like, Demi would be interesting. And I was like, are you bisexual?

Yeah. And she was like, yeah, absolutely. And I was like, this is an, like, we need tequila for bachelor nation, a sap. Like, it is time. Yeah. I mean, yes, we need, like, a black man bachelor for sure. But did you like that, like, did you like that story? I thought it was manufactured.

Like, so some of, I mean, don't come on with your girlfriend. Well, and something like in the LGBT community. Like, I don't like, I've been told before in some. sort of instances where it's like it's a fad to be a lesbian now or like cool to be bisexual or pansexual or queer whoever we're describing ourselves and I'm like but it's not a fad it's actually like how you're born and you're ruining it by saying that but there's something like didn't you feel like on vanderpump rules I mean I'm not really sure what I've done to you but I'll take a pino grigio like when Ariana was you know she said she celebrated her first

pride and she's very vocal about being by and Dana's like I mean you too and buy too. I know. That was kind of like she was trying to connect to Ariana by that, which is like great that she's open about it. But there was something sort of like annoying about the way Dana did it. I don't know. It kind of annoyed me.

Like me too. Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it almost is, it's like when companies are like really proud, but only in the month of June. And you're like, are you like, do you only like gay people when you're like being publicized for it? I felt like she was kind of riding.

Ariana was being very like, you know, vulnerable about it, open about it, taking the issues to heart with Jackson, Brittany's wedding, which the longest wedding of all time. Since like we almost have to stop. But so I need to like... We used to do wedding specials back in the day, remember? So you're trying to like justify this? No, I'm saying we used to like not put him in the episode.

Oh, you mean like it should have been a spin-off. Jackson, Britney, you're getting married, spin-off one episode, that's it, as opposed to, like, weaving its way through, like, nine episodes. The minute they showed the murder mystery, I was like, G2G, like, which I did, and I stayed. But I was like, thank God they did it in this, like, quick editing montage thing, because I would have literally, because they really could have not had so many parts of that wedding. And I feel like... This is Jack's moment, though.

VPR is my BB. Like, VPR is my... I love VPR. Really. And I like all of those guys. like I'm friends with all of them. I love them and I think they're the best people on brought. I don't know.

What do you think about the newbies? Wow. Wow. That's it. That's it. No. I think it's not their fault. No, because it's not their fault.

I think they should be integrated into storylines of, oh, geez. I don't care about newbies together. I don't care about Dana. You're like Max and Dana hooking up. No. Or Brett and whatever. Charlie? Get her the fuck out of my face with her.

Like, I don't know what avocado is. When she was like, I've never had pasta or avocado. I was like, who, then you have never lived. Like, that, like, it's one thing to be like, I've never had a passion fruit. Okay? But when you're like, I've never had pasta. No, it's so annoying. What?

I was wrong with you. Even an avocado. And that can't be, like, your parents gave you pasta because they didn't have food to make. How did your parents never give you pasta? Like, I've had spaghettis out of a can. Like, you've ever had a fucking noodle? You have a chicken noodle soup? You never had chicken noodle soup.

There's pasta. in that like you never had soup what no she's so i don't even get what the cast thing was there but a like don't you feel vpr we love the ogs okay but the new people do you care about their storylines on their own like why do i care do i care i think dana came out boss when she was like get out of my face max like we're done yeah murder she wrote whatever she says that's what she did She put on her Angela Lansberry wig and was like, mother, she wrote. That's what I'm saying.

She's kind of like, I don't know if like rehearsed, but kind of like too, like who would say that in the moment of a broke breakup, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. And that's all she wrote. I mean, I definitely miss the problem I have with Vanderpump now and like I'll always love them because I started at Bravo kind of with those guys is that there comes a time because it is, you know, reality TV and it's on.

scripted there comes a time where you know now they're on their you know night season or whatever it is they're making good money yeah and like the idea of them being like waiters and bartenders will still like driving in their porches there like is unbelievable you know what i mean they're not the same like struggling people that are living with when we first started watching when we were 23 living with five people in kind of a shitty apartment and like working and taking so shitty so shitty and like taking all the hours that you can do and like that was what i loved to about them, it's like, but now they're all so successful in their own books and they're getting married and they're driving this. They're owning the houses in Valley Village. It's like,

it's not believable anymore to like fall into these like little bartending struggles. Right. You're taking my shift. I need to come back to, to bar. I mean, only with Sheena, it's like kind of believable. Yeah. Well, so true. Even though I'm a Sheena like, I like, I feel bad for her that She gets so much kind of like hate from people, but also like the editors love editing her. They love making her seem like quote-unquote boy crazy. And I've gotten a lot of heat even saying just like the word crazy around things. I just think it's an interesting moniker. She made shirts out of it though, babe.

Yeah. And I don't view crazy as like a pejorative term all the time. Like I could say something, you know, like if you chugged an entire can of Coca-Cola, I'd be like, yo, that's crazy right now. Like I don't view it as like a bad thing to say. I don't. and I think people are taking that, like, kind of out of context. But if we're using the quote-unquote boy crazy, I mean, like, yeah, she's into guys.

Like, she talks about it all the time. And the thing with Sheena is, like, she's into guys, like, and this is what I kind of like like about her also, like, she's into, like, waiter. She'll date like a, she'll date like a model waiter. She'll date the 23-year-olds. She doesn't care if they, like, make money, if they could, like, support her, which is kind of, like, refreshing. She's really not.

Like, I remember. It's actually a really cool feminism. play if you really think about this is my point about intellectualizing. Same with Sassy though is Stasi not they don't know but Bo is an investment banker so I'm saying Stasi is the most let's say high maintenance up maybe Lala sorry but Stassie is also like she loves designers she wears nice clothes she she seems like a girl that would want money and things she dated Jacks she dated Patrick and even Bo he's like he's not like you said an investment she's a money maker in that and like she's a hustler and if you think about it like that's so nice to

be like, you know what, I want to fall in love for the person that I want to fall in love with, not because of the money that they bring. I think you could argue, you know, the Lala Randall relationship. I think there's a lot of stereotypes that go around there. I'm not one to, I'm not taking away from that. I'm just saying I see why people think that, of course. But yeah, you look at Stas, you look at Sheen and they're like, no, I make my own money, my own independent woman.

I want a hot guy. You know, they sort of had the male attitude towards it. And I think that is kind of amazing to see. And Beau is like a fucking... It's the best. He's such a lesbian, and I love him. He's so. cute. But I actually, Lala and Randall is like the obvious, but the, I know I'm late. I'm like

eight years late, but Jax has just started really pissing me off. Okay. Isn't that weird? I know. Said no one ever. Said no one ever. And Brittany, I'm starting to not buy it. You think she's fake? I think she stayed with Jax. And this has started to like become my thought, like that she stayed with Jax because of the show. that she forgave all the shit, put aside all the shit, stayed with this, like, shitty person. Yeah. Because I feel like she came from Kentucky.

She was a waitress at Hooters, and he was giving her this life. And she saw that I don't, I don't, I'm not saying that that's why. I'm not, that could be a factor for sure. I don't even blame her if that's the case because it makes you have a better life. And I sort of understand that. Like I. Dan, can you not be objective about Bravo? I can be objective.

I am being objective. Really? This is not you like I feel like if I was being subjective I would be meaner but objectively I think that objectively from a person who works at Bravo who knows these people I would not blame Brittany for wanting to stay with Jax if that were the case because

to your point right? Like her whole world has changed because of this and I don't think that's the wrong decision to make Even her family is like so we cheated you know Yeah I mean listen I could also argue like there's plenty of things wrong with all of their relationships and all of them cheat on each other i mean everyone cheats like that's also

the thing too is like it's a common thread inhumanity not just on reality tv like most people cheat like i mean no though darren yes 100% that's why divorce is so high right but that that's a thing like we were talking about selina gomez's hanging out with mattie like as much as i love these people like they're there are the lives they were leading maybe up to like a season ago was like not something you could I was relating to at all you know what I mean it wasn't it was and this is why I fell in love with Vanderpump it's like what other show on TV were we watching people you know that were relatable in the sense that they had no money they were in shitty apartments they could barely have the air conditioning and microwave turned on the same time they were working 100 hours a week

but at the same time they were having sex with each other's best friend while the other person was sleeping well that's the thing about Vanderpump is that you know this wasn't clearly a show that's like real world where it's like let's throw seven random drunks together and see how they it's like these people were really friends like they really had history and that's the other thing that's a huge separation between that and other reality shows is that like if any if you want to argue about anything being manufactured their friendships go way before the show ever started so my question to you is sorry jev for all the sound I have to peece so bad okay and that water I'm like oh my god I'm gonna I drink like a huge thing of coffee whole thing is shelter and I just

watch to, like, elegantly pour that water into that glass. And I'm like, oh, my bladder's going to peel over her couch. She's really going to have corona. She's really going to have corona now. So, no, but I just want to say, do you think, because I remember talking to Katie in one of the lines she said, she's like, my ashes are going to be spread in the back parking lot of sir. I thought that was a good line. But she was saying that as, I love her.

And she was saying that as a, like, we're going to have 89 seasons. You know what I mean? Sure. But I'm now feeling like, I don't know how much. we can go on with the OGs in their current situations forever, ever. Well, I mean, and I don't know the answer to that. And I will say, like, I don't so I can actually speak subjectively on this. I think that this season, more now than other seasons, has tried to manage that swing.

Because I think the public now knows, like, you know, you're driving, you own a house. You're driving around a nice shit. Like, you cannot, you're not the bartender at Sir anymore that we know that you are. And you can't talk about the same struggles anymore. So I feel like this season, bringing in that new wave of new generation of poor people. Would you watch, like, would you watch a season with like Charlie, Max, Brett, and Dana? Not right now, no, not just how they are. But that's also because, like, we fell in love with a certain kind of show with certain kind of people.

And existing friendships, like you said. Existing friendships. And if Max and Brett and Charlie and Dana were all actually friends before this and went to go do another type of show, because they're not even really relating to Lisa in the same way. You know, if you remember, like, Vanderbomber rules kind of started out of Beverly Hills. Right. Like, they had catered a party at, like, Kyle Richards. And so it all made sense in the Bravo threat.

Right. You know, or even partying with the Summerhouse kids. Like, it all started with them all kind of doing that. Yeah. This next generation doesn't have that because it's already been established. Right. So unless they were on, like, the below deck sailing yacht as friends before starting out, out, it would make sense.

Like, there's no real thorough line between it. I'm not saying I wouldn't. I just don't think I want to watch Vanderpump rules for them. Because when I watch Vanderpump rules, I want Jacks, I want Stasi, I want shorts. Like, that's what I want to get. That's what you want. And that's why I'm turning into it. And that's, so it's kind of a hard, it's hard.

It's just interesting that thing like where it's going to go. And they all have to be friends with each other. You know, it has to make a natural line. It's not just like a random, like, oh, Amanda's going to be good in New York. It's like, no, are you best friends. with Sonia? Do you hate Tinsley? Like, Sonja. Sonja, yeah, right.

Ceremona. But that's really how, like, it makes sense from a narrative point of view is you want these natural friendships and you want to film something that. And here, they want to make you believe, like, Brett, Max, which I think maybe Max

was actually managing. It could be. He could be. He just, we never saw him in a previous episode. So if he had been in previous episodes, you know, having sex with Shina. Yeah, like, and if that was the line as opposed to Adam. Because James had sex with Kristen so that we didn't question it as much when he came on. And then Rachel started dating James and now she's just in the cast.

Yeah. Oh, sorry, Raquel. Rachel was like, yeah, Rachel. Yeah, Rachel was Stasi's old best friend. Raquel. It all made sense. So if they had shown Max maybe in two, three previous episodes of being like kind of this shrift. And if Max and Brett had personalities, you know.

Yeah. I mean, I don't find Brett attractive either. I don't know that's a thing And Lisa is like about to like Change her panties for bread Oh my god She's gonna lick breast yoga mat Any two seconds

And I'm like really like I don't get it Yeah it's like Lisa just because you think he's hot Like literally she's obsessed with him Bye Kyle Because you got Ken What else could you want? Darren I'm gonna let you pee babe

Are you? Yeah Are we gonna like continue recording Are we just this is it Because I've had to pee And like this is it This is it I can't come back from that

Once I peeed I've contaminated the whole part fine okay thank god you're going to hear repeat for like 20 minutes in there put the mic up to it sorry to your producers you might as well just like you're playing with velcro straps and like throwing a phone you might as well get all the sound effects of like a delicate smart water pour into the glass Darren yes we didn't talk enough about barb there was so much there was so much i mean her whispering to her a husband in Spanish to say something negative to help her out is all the conversation we need to be having.

She is the star of life right now. No, she is. Sweetnums. Sweetnums. She's going to get a lot of DMs. But Peter put up a story with her the other day, says their relationship is fine. It's not strained. Yeah, because he lives at home and he needs to still pay rent.

That's why. Even Hannah Ann moved out on her own. And she's 23. So what do you first see Peter doing, dating Stacey Baby? He was already hanging out with... That's the other. thing like I foresaw this a little bit because seeing him hang out with Stasi Baby and Kylie Jenner and like all that shit no way you had a girlfriend during that time what girlfriend would

be like okay with you staring at those butts you know and like probably not living life what if he comes on Bachelor in Paradise you think he would no but I think he could but I don't think he would I think now just like Tyler C I think it's like kind of above it you know what I mean yeah I don't know I think Hannah Ann Ann Ann she said she has bikinis lined up already she You said, I cannot confirm or deny, but I have a bikini lined up. I'm like, oh, I got to. And a bikini line coming up too. Literally.

Right. That's exactly right. Wait, Darren, we, we, we, but what? Yeah. My bladder is like screaming at you right now. Okay, so don't plug your new podcast. I don't care. I have a new podcast coming out.

I feel it's going to be right around the Real House House House of New York premiere. So coming in a few weeks called Cisoring Isn't a Thing. S-I-A-T podcast. It's not. You can also listen to Martinez and Murder, which is an oxygen podcast that I also do. And follow me on Instagram at Carpe-Daren. So you have time for murders too. Oh, yeah, baby.

True crime and housewives. That's my niche. Louie. I know. She has time for a lot. Andy, I don't know. I know. Andy, I don't know.

Bailey, watch out. Bailey Pee. I don't know. It's all happening. Darren, thank you for coming. Thanks for happening. Thank you for tuning in. to this week's episode.

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