Not Skinny But Not Fat - DRAKE BELL: QUIET ON SET & THE AFTERMATH

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

Drake Bell joins me today to discuss the aftermath of the release of Quiet on Set: the documentary that shook the world, that exposed the dark side of kids tv. Drake tells us where he stands with his family today (his lovely dad, mom, ex and child), what his future goals are, how he’s doing with his sobriety, if he has any knowledge about how Amanda Bynes is doing, and more.TW: This interview contains references to CSA and psychological abuse.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Not Skinny Bonaput on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday. and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best friends in your living room. Thank you for doing this, Drake. I know that you're, you've been busy. Yeah, but it's been quite a ride. How does it feel being thrust back in the media like this?

It's pretty overwhelming. Yeah. Did you realize when you were, when you agreed to do quite on set, like, did you fully think through everything, like, okay, after this comes out, it's going to be, it's going to be a hit? No, I did not expect it to catch fire the way that it has at all. Really? What, you thought maybe people don't care anymore? Maybe it's irrelevant. Like, what was your thought process?

You know, I really didn't think much about that. I was just kind of working through a lot of stuff and felt that it was time to share my story. And that's really all I was kind of thinking about. I didn't really think about the public response very much. Can I ask you when this was filmed? When did they reach out to you to do this? Yeah, they reached out to me maybe like early last year. And I really was not in a place that I was prepared or ready to,

agree or accept to do it. And so I pushed them off for quite some time. And I just really wasn't in a place where I was ready to do anything like this. I was going through a lot of stuff emotionally, stuff with family. And I ended up checking into rehab. And when I came out, I felt like I had gone through so much trauma therapy, so much group and one-on-one and so much stuff and had been kind of like working through a lot of stuff in there. And I don't know, I just kind of felt more comfortable with the

idea. So did you circle back to them and you're like, wait, I feel like I might actually want to do this? Yeah, I continued the conversation and they were making me feel more comfortable and yeah. Did they even know? How did they know about this? Because I mean, you've kept it secret for so many years. We're all finding out about it now. So how did they know or they just wanted you on as a former child star to talk about other stuff? Yeah, I think they had an idea because, I mean, rumors have been circulating for quite some time. And I'd taken a meeting with them before I went to rehab and kind of told them my whole story and what had gone on and what had happened. And that was the first time I'd really like shared this with kind of strangers. And, and so it kind of

just went from there. I see. And how are you feeling now? I know it's overwhelming. You're in the thick of it. You can't really be looking back, but you have any regrets about sharing your story on the show? No, I mean, it's been a really freeing experience. And like I said, it's very overwhelming and it's an emotional roller coaster, but I'm able to start processing and dealing with things that I've kept inside for so many years. For so many years. And you really did keep it, keep it a secret. I mean, it's wild for people. that watch quiet on set, people that didn't. This whole thing with Brian Peck happened before the show aired.

So was it before you started filming Drake and Josh? Yeah, it was during the Amanda show. It was during the Amanda show. So when you become this huge star on Drake and Josh, it's like you are hiding this huge secret. You're this star. You're this babe for all these young girls going crazy. it's like a wild timeline.

Yeah, I was going through a lot while filming Drake and Josh. It was, there were some really difficult times. But somehow you went to set, you did the job, you were good at it, you were funny. Like, how do you explain that? How do you explain? Did you think that was just my escape was when the lights came up and I was getting to do what I love to do. and it just, that was, you know, kind of everything, just, I was able to kind of push everything deep down inside. But yeah, it was, it was really, really tough at times.

Was it only years later that, obviously, like, as the public mostly knows, like, you did have to escape to, you know, substance abuse and alcohol and stuff like that because of what you went through? But throughout those early years of, like, filming Drake and Josh, did you have any escapism? Were you doing anything to help you process it or to help you block it out? It was really hard. It was so hard to talk about. So, I mean, the thought of going to therapy and I just, I didn't have any tools. I didn't know what to do. So I was just kind of lost and trying to figure out how to work through this on my own. And like you were old enough and there enough. to know that what he did was wrong and that it was like fucked up and this is like a horrible

thing. You just didn't want to tell anybody about it and, you know, didn't know where to go. Exactly. I mean, I didn't know how to process it or work through it or deal with it. And yeah, I mean, I was just completely lost. Did you feel anger? I felt everything. I felt sadness, shame, anger. It was a mix of everything. thing. But you manage to still lead this kind of double life. Like here you have this huge secret that you're dealing with that's like unfathomable. On the other hand, you're becoming this huge star. You're going to set every day. You're famous. You end up getting a girlfriend and she doesn't know about it. It's wild. The story that you tell that her mom was the one that kind of put the pieces

together. Did that shock you that like nobody else in your life did that? Yeah, I mean, my dad, my dad was definitely concerned but no she was she i mean she played a huge huge role in getting me out of the danger it was wow she really did and going back to your dad first of all he's so beloved right now in america everybody loves him feels for him we really saw his range of emotions as he was interviewed on quite on set and he really did have a suspicion have a bad feeling you didn't want to listen to it at the time i'm sure he's it looks like he's still broken over it and it's probably a whole processing for him too to try to to have that feeling that he had some sort of a feeling but wasn't able to to pull you away yeah i mean he

and that's the thing i you know i think that he takes a lot of responsibility and feels like you know what happened is his fault and he did to do enough, but at that time and the way that how calculated Brian was, what he was doing, it just, I mean, it just, I, you know, you can't lay any blame on, on him or anybody, but, you know, who is responsible for it. How is he today your dad? Are you, are you having a good relationship? Yeah, me and my dad have a great relationship.

I mean, we talk every day and he's going through a lot, but I think that it's kind of, it was cathartic and helpful for him to finally be able to get it. Same thing, get something off his chest that's been there for so long. It was weird to hear somebody that, you know, we have preconceived notions of momagers and, I mean, I guess we don't have a preconceived notion of a dadager, but your dad definitely doesn't come to mind of someone that's like into showbiz, you know, taking his kid to auditions. So it was surprising to hear that he was really the one that started this whole process with you that you were interested

and you were very show many and he was like, yeah, this is something fun that we could do together and he really wanted to be part of it and be your manager. Well, I think that just kind of evolved

into that role. You know, he was at a counseling session for his divorce with my mom and he was looking through a magazine in the waiting room and saw some advertisement like, hey, does your kid want to act?

And he's like, well, I tried Little League with my son. And, you know, different things. But I think that this is something that he'd be interested in something that we could do together. And so it kind of just grew from there. But he got sucked into it. Like it seemed like he saw you thriving and wanted to really like be part of it with his son. So looking back like, we were able to do together and able to spend time together and travel together.

And so I think that that's really what what he was thriving on, you know, was getting to. spend this time with his son and be able to watch him grow and do something he loved. And yeah, I think that's really what was his motivation. I remember the first time I ever thought about therapy. It was like one of the hardest things to do was to go. Like get out of your house and go, especially if you've made a therapy appointment at a low point in your life and not in like, oh, I'm doing well. let me just like, you know, do this thing for self-care. So getting yourself out there and getting yourself to go is one of the hardest steps.

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Is that, is that right? Yeah, I mean, Brian was telling me he was stealing my money and I should have all this money. And you hear stories about that in Hollywood so much that it's very easy to believe. and I was, I had no idea about taxes and agency and manager commissions. And, you know, we weren't being paid very much money to work on Nickelodeon. And, but when you get it put into your brain at such a young age that, you know, you should have all this money. And the reason you don't is because of your dad.

And I think that Brian saw that my dad was really the one that was going to, you know, get Brian out of the picture. So he worked really diligently to. put it into my brain that you know parents shouldn't be their kids managers and so when he succeeded at doing that was did brian take over that role like was he trying to manage you well not so much manage me but be the liaison for everything you know you need i should be the one that introduces you to the right agents and the people the industry and i i'm i'm so connected and and so kind of just snowballed into into that.

And, you know, Dan Schneider, we saw his response to the show. You didn't speak negatively about him. It seemed like your experience with him seemed to be a good one on the show, on the Amanda show. Yeah, I mean, I can only speak to my experience. And he was one of the few people that was really there for me during this time. And so that's, that's really all I can speak to. did he reach out to you after seeing it and thank you for for what you said about him that

you were speaking kindly of him unlike everyone else no i've kind of just it's it's been a difficult time and so i've just kind of like been going through this like by myself and like yeah you know so you're not really talking to anybody else that's that was around that time people are wondering about amanda well i mean cast members have reached out and i you know people have been friends with for many years. We've talked and things. But yeah, no, it's just been a, it's been a strange kind of dreamlike state, really. I can imagine. Yeah. I can imagine. And like also it was, it was many years ago and reliving all of that and looking at it differently because you also even said, like, I know that now it looks like, don't put your kids in this industry. It's

awful. It's disgusting. You know, all these things. But you're not completely saying, that you're not saying this is a disgusting industry it sounds like you're saying you know bad people do bad things well it's difficult because i i have so many amazing memories and i i got to do so many incredible things but you know and what i want to take take that away from my experiences because of what i've been through i mean it's a hard question to answer and with the letters that have come out it shows that there's really a deeper it's like an onion i i always thought that that, you know, there's bad actors and watch out, you know, keep an eye out. But I didn't realize that there was so much support and protection and things that were

happening around it. Well, that's a question I want to talk to you about because you said the letters. There were letters of support for Brian Peck like hundreds or 140 or something by a lot of beloved actors that we know, one of them being James Marsden, Boymute's Worldcast, do you think there's like a black and white here like they shouldn't have written letters of support if they had any idea

or inclination as to what I went through or is there a world where you say he fooled them they didn't know he was a bad guy I don't blame them for writing those letters yeah I think I think it's both I think that there's

I think that a lot of people were fooled I think that that Brian was able to pull the wool over a lot of of people's eyes and paint a picture that was a far cry from the reality. And, you know, I, I can't speak to what was going through anyone's mind at the time or now or how they're processing it or anything like that. But yeah, I think that Brian was able to fool a lot of people. Yeah, well, a lot of people equated this because Danny Masterson, the actor from that 70s show, you know, he was convicted of rape. And Mila, Kunis and Ashton Kutcher wrote letters in support of him.

And, you know, they got a lot of, a lot of heat for it. And there were some people that said, hey, they're his friends and basically family. And they, they believe in him. And they want to help him lesser his sentence. So it's really, this was also many years ago. So the kids were actually kids at that point, right? Like the boy, boys were all to cast. But do you have any anchor towards those people that wrote those letters in support?

Because, I mean, the conviction he did end up getting was so. The sentence, I'm sorry, was so, like, it was nothing, what, 16 months? That must have been so disappointing. Yeah, I mean, at the time, I was just happy, well, not happy, but I was just relieved for it to just be all over, you know, and yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't really harbor a lot of anger. It's more of, I think, just confusion and working through it. But like I said, I mean, he was very good at fooling people and and people process things differently and yeah I mean it would I think it would just add too much to what I've been through or what I'm going through to harbored anger and a lot of people looked immediately to Josh Peck your co-star like

why aren't you saying anything why aren't you speaking out again this is people also knowing that you kept this a secret people knowing that this happened before you were filming with Josh. What did you think of that? Did you feel... Josh worked on the Amanda show, and so he saw and knew what was going on, but, you know,

I appreciate that he reached out to me privately and, you know, didn't go straight to the media because, you know, he was there with me and saw what I was going through. And so I think... What do you mean by he saw and knew

what was going on? Like he knew specifics? Well, I don't think he knew. new specifics, but there were people who, you know, worked on the show that knew who, you know, who it was and things like that. And so I think that when he just knew how sensitive this was for me, and after, of course, watching the documentary, he learned of so much that I had gone through that I think that he was just so sensitive and made sure to reach out to me privately rather than just going straight to social media or something. Yeah. You know. So you're

basically saying there were people around that had an idea that you were the kid in question that after the fact I mean there were just like I you know say in the documentary in the courtroom was full for Bryant so I mean in Hollywood so small so there's a lot of you know talk yeah things like that so and there were people that I confided in that I worked with so it was definitely known that I was going through a lot. Oh, wow. Okay. So you're saying it didn't get out to the public, public, but people kind of knew. So how do you explain this guy getting hired at Disney after he gets it out? I cannot explain that. I don't know. I think it's just, you know, like you see in the letters of support, I mean, there's people who said that they would love to work with him again,

that they would hire him again. And I think it was just that he was so well connected that that's unexplainable. Did it make you feel like people weren't believing you? Did it make you feel like you were doubting yourself? Like, I can't imagine how painful that is. Yeah, I mean, I didn't know how to think of it. I just was in total shock that he was able to go and work at other networks and continue just the way it was before for him. It was, I mean, shock is really the only thing I can explain. You say in the documentary, and by the way, you spoke so, you know, eloquently about everything that happened.

And you even said, like, I'm not going to say exactly what he did. I'm going to say take the worst case scenario of, you know, sexual abuse. And then we do get a snippet when we see the court filings for those who watch the show. And it is the worst thing you could ever imagine. And I don't know the court system that well, but six, like, it's. sounds like the life to me. Like it sounds like you do that to a fucking kid and you do that to anybody. Like that's rape, that's abused.

That's, it's just wild like the sentencing. I mean, it was shocking and walking into the courtroom and seeing all the people on his side of the courtroom and the support. And it was, it was a lot. It was really re-traumatizing. And I just. But you went. You decided to go.

How did you make that decision? Did you have any second thoughts about that? Like maybe I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I don't want him to see me. Definitely. Definitely. I mean, a lot of that time, you know, I have to be honest, is a blur and a lot of things are coming back now that I'm reprocessing and going through it all again.

But I think at that time, I was in such a state of euphoria. I mean, it was just, I was just trying to keep myself upright and. get through what was going on. But yeah, I really don't know what my thought process was at that time about going or anything. Your dad didn't come. I thought that was interesting. Was there a reason? My dad and I hadn't been speaking for a while and I just knew how emotional he was. And I was just, I didn't want to break his heart. I didn't want to. It was, it was really difficult for me to finally, like, explain to my dad, you know, what happened. Could you now, you're a father now.

Like, do you ever think about that? Like, just understanding the pain of a parent knowing their kid went through this, like what you would do as a parent to somebody who did this to their child? Yeah, I mean, I, that's a really, it's a real eye-opener having a son. And I'm just so thankful that his mom is so incredible. And, you know, I, I just owe so much to her. And, I mean, when we were married, we were going through so much pain. And I, my mind was, I was just dealing with so much darkness.

And she did everything that she could to keep my, my life on track, to keep me working, to, you know, I, honestly, I, I really owe everything. Really? I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her. You know, I have to take responsibility for a lot of pain that I caused. But she's such an incredible mom. And she sacrificed so much in our relationship to keep my career going, to keep the family stable, to be an incredible mom. She went through so much.

And it does put into perspective how. my everyone says you know like your parents always say i'm you'll you'll understand when you have a child of your own kind of thing and and that is a huge eye-opener do you get to spend a lot of time with your son i do i do i visit him a lot and you know he's incredible and we have a great relationship and he really is the motivation to continue you know to keep going and and we saw kind of that your your ex did move on how does that make you feel are you also in a place of moving on from that relationship or do you have regrets there that the marriage didn't end up working out? Oh, I mean, I definitely have regrets for, you know, making the wrong choices and

doing things I shouldn't have done. But hopefully working through all of this gets me to a place where we're able to just be there for my son and, and keep him at the forefront of our focus. Has she been supportive throughout this time? She's been very supportive. She's been very supportive. Yeah, I mean, through everything, through everything. And I, you know, my mental state and things that I was going through, I don't know how she did it, but she's been a huge support through all of this. And even before, you know, because she knew everything. And, yeah, I mean, she did everything in her power to keep me going.

And it really, yeah, it really, I just owe, I just owe so much. much to her. How did you keep your family afloat? Were you working throughout, you know, we know about the time you went missing and, you know, you spoke about rehab and you had rough years leading up to now. Were you working steadily at any point? Well, yeah. I mean, thankfully to my wife, she worked so hard at, she basically fell into the role of managing everything for me and keeping me working and keeping everything going for us. So you were able to make a living. So I was able to, yeah, I was able to at least scrape by because, I mean, without.

You're saying in acting, in acting roles? Mostly in music. I was, I was able to tour and put music out and stuff like that. Would you say that music has become more of your passion over the acting? Yeah, music's always been my past. I've always loved acting, but I, you know, I'm a writer and I want to create and I want to, I don't know, there's just something a lot more freeing about putting a pen to paper and writing songs and producing and being able to create something from nothing and end up performing it on stage. And there's just, just much more attracted to that than sitting on set and waiting to say your lines. Yeah, exactly. I wanted to ask about Amanda Binds because he did the Amanda show with her. We know we've seen in the media that she was asked to do Quiet On Set and she didn't want to.

I'm sure you see kind of what's been happening with her and she also, you know, was in a conservatorship. And I mean, we see the flashbacks from Quiet On Set and were reminded what a star she was and the charisma that she had. And do you have any feelings about that? Like, do you know anything of what could have happened with Amanda? Oh, I mean, I can only speak to my experience while I was working with Amanda. And that was that she was, like you said, just an incredible talent. She was so funny. She was so, I mean, she was like a rocket ship.

I mean, she got on set and she was just the talent that just oozed from her effortlessly was awe-inspiring. And she was a big star to me because I had grown up watching all that. And so for me, it was when I booked the Amanda show, it was I couldn't believe it and that I got to work with her. And I was already such a big fan. And yeah, I don't, I can't speak to anything in her personal life. Did you ever see like, because people were saying that her and Dan were really close and it was a little weird for some people. Did you ever think that or notice that? No, I, you know, I mean, this was in the throes of.

a lot that I was dealing with personally. Right. But no, I mean, I just saw a really talented, amazing actress. And yeah, I just, no, I never saw anything that. Have you had any contact with her in the last few years? No, no. No? No sliding into DMs being like, what's up?

No, no. I did want to have this space to talk a little bit about what happened with you after and allegations against you that you ended up dealing with because I think that we see you on quiet unsaid and everybody's heart is reaching out to you and everyone wants to give you a big hug and be there for you realizing what you had went through. And then we find out about this and I don't want it to take away from from anything. So I wanted to give you like the space kind of to talk about what happened with with you. In 2021, you pleaded guilty to attempted endangering children harmful to juveniles. So what happened with this woman? What can you tell us to

clarify that so we can understand better? And of course, like, you went through so much trauma that I'm sure it had to do somehow with leading up to this kind of thing even happening. Yeah, I mean, I just, I was, I responded on some DMs and was incredibly irresponsible and got myself into conversations that I shouldn't have had. And I ended up finding out that I was talking to someone I shouldn't have been talking to. And it snowballed into these allegations that were not true. And it just turned into this big thing. And when I finally was, I was being investigated and that was really difficult on my family.

And thankfully, through 18 months, of subpoenaing my social media and phones and computers and witnesses and and everything, it turned out that a lot of, most of what was being accused of me wasn't true. But I did have these conversations and so I took responsibility for that and ended up pleading guilty because I, you know, I mean, just financially I was just devastated. And I just had a son and I didn't want to put my family through all of this anymore. So I ended up going through the process the way that I did and, you know, very regretful. And I have to take, you know, there's just so much that I've had to deal with and through that.

Like I said, not having the tools or not knowing how to process things. You know, I made a lot of decisions in my life that I shouldn't have made and hurt a lot of people. but now where I am in my life now, I think that I'm finally at a place where I can process and deal with this and through therapy that I've been through and actively going through and unearthing all of these things and being able to face them head on for really the first time in my life. And like I said earlier, it's an emotional rollercoaster. So I've, it's just, it's a lot to handle, but finally, I think taking the,

the right steps to work through it instead of the way I had been in the past allows me to hopefully do this in a healthy and safe way and hopefully share my story with others and maybe prevent people from making the same mistakes or feeling confident to be able to speak their truth. And so that's that's all I can say is I'm just, you know, it's a process and I'm working through it. So just to to kind of make sure that we understand with the allegations then, the things that she said that you were grooming her

since she was 12, all those things were not true. No. What you were ended up, the only thing you did, you responded to a DM, you weren't aware of how old she was? Yeah. And then I finally found out. And then I cut communication and then things got, I think she

got upset and he was coming to concert still. And I was doing everything I could to kind of keep my distance. And then she made all these allegations that things that happened at a concert. But throughout the investigation, I mean, there were witnesses who were there the whole time, who refuted it, and people who weren't even connected with me that were friends of hers and her families that were there the whole time. And so no, and a lot of the things that she said about message about sending inappropriate pictures and things like this, it was able

to be investigated and show that none of that existed. That didn't happen. So your only responsibility there was, you would say, like, communicating, not knowing how old she was, not doing the due diligence of kind of knowing. That's the best way to put it, yeah. Wow. So don't you want to scream that from the rooftops, though? Because I feel like not enough people really know that. Well, I've put out statements on Instagram. I've done interviews about it.

The New York Times just did a retraction because they had actually printed that I'm, that I had to register. as an SO and that I pled guilty to S.A. and things like that. And which is not true. None of that was true. And it took two years, but they finally just printed a retraction. And unfortunately, the New York Times prints it. Everyone picks that up, spreads that as the story. And that's what catches fire. But hopefully in this whole journey and this process, things will come to light. Yeah. What else are you hoping that we'll come up? out of this, this whole process of sharing your story, doing interviews, being so open.

What are you hoping that comes out of this for you, for your future? I hope just healing, just, you know, there's been a lot of pain. And yeah, I just hope that, I guess, I don't know, it's, it's hard to put into words because there's so much, you know, that I'm processing and going through. And I keep saying that. But it's, yeah, I just hope that there's healing and way to move forward. get through this in a healthy way. Yeah.

What about that fifth episode? We were just teased with the fifth episode of Quiet Onset. Was that not in the plans that that, did you shoot this recently? No, I don't know if it's going to be, I mean, there's a lot of parts of the interviews that weren't used. And so I don't, I don't, I'm not exactly sure what is going to come out of that. I, yeah, I don't know. Oh, you're not sure. Yeah.

Okay. Well, we are waiting to see. that's for sure. Do you have any hopes that, you know, you can move forward, deal with the trauma, be able to have healthy relationships? That's really important. Is there any way you start fresh from here and doing more music? That's my hope. I mean, I'm working on music. I'm touring. I'm finishing an album. But, you know, really the main focus for me is just my son and correcting a lot of the mistakes that I've made. and taking responsibility for decisions. And, yeah, I mean, the career is one thing, but there's so much healing that needs to happen with my family and my relationships that that's, I have to keep, I have to keep that. You have to focus on that.

So you said everything's good with your dad, the ex has been very supportive. What about your mom? My mom and I have a great relationship. I mean, Brian was very good at tricking everyone. And so I can't harbor any resentment or sure she could have made different decisions and things. But it's much easier to say that in hindsight when you have a bird's eye view. But when you're in the thick of all of this, it's it sounded like your dad was feeling kind of like, not that he was blaming her, but it felt like he passed the baton to her. He was kind of forced to in some way when he was shut out, but that he, it sounds like he.

He has a little bit of resentment, maybe, towards your mom for not being on top of it. No, I mean, I don't think he has resentment towards her. I think that it's just such a heartbreaking experience and that I feel like my dad just feels like he should have, like he could have done more. But and that's what I mean in hindsight, everyone's wondering, why couldn't I have done this or why shouldn't I have done this or I should have done this? And I mean, we can't really look back and say, I should. have. I could have. I think that it's just now processing what has happened and moving forward

from that. But no, I mean, I have a great relationship with both of my parents and my family. Are you ready to start dating anytime soon? That's not, I mean, I have. It's not even in your mind. I have a lot to work through just on my own and personally. And, you know, I, no, I have to just be there for my son and do whatever I can to work on myself right now. And your sobriety, because I know you struggled with that. So can you share where you're at with it right now? Yeah, I mean, it's something that's always going to be there. And I think that rehab helped a lot and going through so much and learning that helping find the cause of what makes you go down that path is really eye-opening. But it's something that it's a day-by-day thing.

I mean, it's a, it's something that you have to work through. If you stop, think you've got it, that's when something. Have you had that before where you stopped, had some chips under your belt and relapsed? Yeah, I mean, I had seven years of sobriety. Oh, you did. Yeah. And relapsed hard. That's what ended up going.

And when I ended up in rehab, before that I had had, well, almost seven years, about six and a half years of not doing. anything. And that's what's really hard is you usually, after something like that, when you do relapse, it's usually a lot quicker and a lot harder. But I did that without reason. You mean the slippery slope is quicker and harder. Well, the relapse is you're going to end up doing more than you had done even prior to. Wow. And the downfall is quicker. And it's really hard. But I did that seven years without rehab, without gaining any tools or knowing how dangerous, you know, a slip-up is or way. So going to rehab, I learned a lot more about just what alcoholism is and

so how long has it been. So I was in rehab in May. So it's been almost a year. Most a year. Yeah. Well, congrats. Yeah. Thank you. And everyone's everyone's. Everyone's. Everyone's really there for you. I hope you feel the support and the love that you're getting because it's very visible. So I hope you feel it and that gives you, you know, positive vibes and energy.

Yeah, I mean, it's been really, yeah, I mean, it definitely helps. It definitely helps. But like I said, it's so much, it's such a emotional roller coaster right now that there's every, it's a minute by minute thing. I mean, things come and you get anxiety and you get. overwhelmed and then it passes and you well do you have any anything set up in place to protect yourself because like you said you're almost a year sober but now you're also in the thrust like i said of this media circus and of coming out with your story did you put any boundaries in place for yourself something to help you know because this is going to be a a whole new

thing that's happening right now so how are you kind of going to protect yourself through that. Well, I mean, it's keeping a healthy support system of people around you who build you up when you're doing well, but also aren't afraid to say, hey, man, like you're getting emotional or, you know, they can just be honest with you in times of struggle, going to therapy, counseling. I mean, yeah, just trying to keep a healthy support system around you of friends and family that just want to see you be healthy and do well, you know. Okay, good. Well, we wish you. all the luck and all the success. And thank you so much for for talking to me today. Yeah,

thank you. It was good to meet you. You too. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoo too. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.