Not Skinny But Not Fat - Dudes, Dating & DMing Dale w/ Violet Benson

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

Meme queen (Daddy Issues) and host of Too Tired to Be Crazy podcast Violet Benson joins me to talk about Armie Hammer, dating in quarantine, sliding in to dudes' DM’s (specifically some Bachelor Nation dudes). She shares those hilarious stories and I make her DM someone of my choosing on the air! You have to hear her pick up line. Ritual: Go to ritual.com/notskinny for 10% off for 3 months! Usual Wines: Go to usualwines.com and use code NOTSKINNY for $8 off! Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This is Not Skinny but Not Fat and I'm your host, Amanda, bringing you the latest in all celebrity gossip, reality TV recaps and anything happening in Hollywood right now that I just can't keep my mouth shut about. This is Not Skinny but Not Fat. Okay, you guys. Violet Benson from the account daddy issues and from Violet Benson Incorporated, basically. And, oh, too tired to be crazy podcast is on my podcast today. Welcome, Violet. Hi. Thank you so much for having me on.

Oh, my God. Of course. I, you had your own niche of like kind of, what would you call it, like provocative memes? Yeah, mine was very female sex. empowerment type of thing because six years ago when I started it wasn't as much women talking about sex or talking about like getting effed over by fuckboys so it was like a lot of dating and a lot of sex jokes for women so that's how I was able to grow my meme account and stand out yeah so you did so you had a niche you had a niche from the beginning yeah so that's amazing and I love that also now I'm thinking did call her daddy come after you yeah I don't understand why people think she came yeah yeah i've never call her daddy i didn't think anything i didn't think anything call her daddy

again i'm all about woman empowerment and i feel like already i got accidentally got stuck in this like triangle whatever i'm not here to like get in clout and i want everyone to thrive but as for the facts yeah of course daddy issues came first i also have a trademark and i started six and a half years ago call her daddy i would say was more call her daddy came around a year or two years ago and And in a way, it's a copy of daddy issues. And that's fine because I had to stop them saying the word daddy's and daddy. Like I used to call my, I would say daddy family and all that. But it's completely fine because I've outgrown daddy issues and I'm obsessed with it.

But like it's went back to being my alter ego. And now like, too hard to be crazy is my baby and my bad bitch boot camps are like my, like I'm obsessed with them. And that's what I'm going to go with. So I have no problem creating like a new nickname for my people that are my. listeners. Wait, your people, you were calling them daddies too? I'm daddy issues, of course. No, I know you were daddy issues. Yeah. And that, okay. And did you really have daddy issues? Did it come out of that? Yes, of course. Yeah. I had daddy issues. But it's okay. Like, in my opinion, there's really no such thing as an original person. So, and for me,

I will constantly continue to create and part of being a good creator, in my opinion, is to constantly reinvent yourself. So when I feel like, so I'm not the type of person that's going to sit there and be like, oh, that person copied me and I'm just going to, I'm going to get angry because I had a meme account where I was also posting other people's work. So that would be very hypocritical of me. So for me, it's more like, okay, I want to reinvent myself. How can I stand out again?

And then I just keep moving forward. I never really focused on what other people are doing, even if it's similar to me. Like my therapist was somewhat similar to me and they were trying to like, quote unquote, come out. the way daddy issues came out with like the face behind it they didn't manage to do it but again like it doesn't bother me I'm very encouraging of other people I'm like yeah you go for I do it like it doesn't bother me because the end of the day like I know I will constantly recreate myself yeah like you're of course there are two sides to everything and it doesn't mean you don't support other women if you

you know are doing your own thing you can be happy for them and also be like hey bitch anyway you had great success with the daddy issues me page and then you kind of came out like you said as yourself have your personal account too and now your podcast which is amazing and exciting and you were telling me before we started that you're trying to like TikTok it up do some addison raise no but i mean i'm always trying to learn and to grow and i feel like one thing about me is that what i view what i do is in very business way so i never allow the following that I have, get to my head. Like, I don't look at it as like, oh, I have so many followers. Like, I'm so cool for me. I'm like, okay, what's the next thing? And also, how can I help people?

So when it comes to me being on, on new platforms, it is still really intimidating for me, just because I'm big on Instagram. It doesn't mean that I will be big on everything else. It's, like, scary. So I just recently got on TikTok. So I was on this app called Clubhouse that I just joined. And there was a room there. There's, like, rooms. And there was something that said, like, how to get Bing on TikTok or something like that. So I went into the room and I'm just like suddenly sitting in the room, 500 people were in there and I'm just writing notes about how like things that I should do and I shouldn't do on TikTok.

So I feel like it's a great example to show people that no matter where you are in life, like you should never stop learning. Yeah, 100%. Unfortunately, they saw that I was in the room and then they asked me to be a speaker. And then I was like, fuck. And I was like, hey guys, thank you so much for having me. I'm just here to take notes. I'm trying to figure out how to be big on TikTok.

Don't mind me. So it's so funny. I was talking to my sister about this today. We're doing like a walk and I was saying like it's so cliche and annoying like you said. But it's so true how like no matter what profession you're in, perseverance and like working hard and loving what you do and doing it for like the right reasons. Like you said, like not because you want too more, however many more followers, but because you're a person that wants to succeed in a certain.

field or you believe in what you're doing you love what you're doing you like helping people you like making people laugh you love whatever connecting with people like if you have the passion for it and you have the every day you wake up and you do the same thing with the same dedication like it'll pay off no matter no matter what field you're in or no matter what you're doing you know what I mean yeah I agree so I think that's important for people to know because I see I don't know like my I look at like my friends and my and I'm like if you want to do something you have to like like put your mind to it and you have to do it. And so the fact that you have so many followers and so many platforms that you're on,

I mean, you've worked really hard for it and it shows. Thank you. That is really nice to say. You're like you're complimenting me now? No, I feel like I always get, I start to giggle when someone gives me a compliment because I don't know how to take it.

So weird. No, because I'll tell you, because I was trying to talk to my sister about, tell me if you feel the same way like, not that I'm, again, you're right.

It's like wherever you are, you want more, you want to work harder, you want to see what's the next thing you can do, you want to know what other opportunity. But it's also like when you work hard for something and when you put in everything, it doesn't feel, it feels almost like, I deserve this. You know what I mean? I deserve the good that's coming out of this because I put my heart, soul and everything on the table. You appreciate it more when you worked hard for it, which also relates a great correlation to dating, which is what I talk about. When you allow a man to chase you, he appreciates you more because the prize now is.

higher because he actually had to work for it. Big difference. Wait, so what's going to happen when you settle down to have a husband? I'll talk about marriage. Marriage, like my mom, I used to have a really toxic boy from my ex and I. We're so, both of us were so toxic. We're together like on and off for like seven, eight years. And my parents would hear us fight sometimes.

They were mortified. It would be like, I'm going to run you over with my car. Well, yeah, not if I kill you first. And then we like meet up and fuck. I mean, my parents didn't know about the fucking part, obviously. But they would hear us fighting in the might. dad was mortified one time when you heard me how I raised my voice and my mom told me like viola to like listen when you're dating somebody that's supposed to be your honeymoon all the

issues they when they finally start is your marriage so if right now you guys can't make it work when you're fighting so much you will never survive a marriage and that's well let me correct your mom it happens when you have kids that's what I realize now because being married is the same as dating you know what I mean but you live together right but you could live with your boyfriend And you sleep on the same bed. What? I hate the fact that it's like I get married to someone. Now I have to share a bed with them for the rest of my life.

Oh, because you've been single for a while. I don't even remember what a bed is. Oh, must be nice. I mean, but that's the thing. Like before you get married, I remember like with my husband, like, all I'd love for us to be like face to face breathing on each other. Now I'm like if he turns my way when I'm turning this way. And I never thought I would be this person.

that it's like so textbook you know what I mean like you get married but I'm with my husband for 10 years and we're like best friends like live and breathe each other but it's so true that like you get that way or you have a baby and he comes second you know what I mean or you have a baby and you're like don't touch me like I have to say so I really want to see you when you get to that stage in life I would love that and now you're going to talk about it no that would become my the next my next brand stuff like my audience is going to grow with me and sell that'll become my niche and then when I have children that will become my niche right exactly that's what it like I talk about my baby and I'm like listen does it interest everyone I'm talking about my baby if you don't

have a baby maybe not but like you're part of like my journey you know what I mean but no it's it's wild it's wild we're sleep training now like literally I came downstairs to do this podcast with violet after I'm like sleep training my baby he's screaming bloody murder and I'm like, hey, bye, going to talk about, like, badass bitches. I have so much to talk to you about Violet. I know that dating is more up your thing and sex and stuff, right? I know, okay. I'm like sex.

Wait, I haven't not had sex in a while, but it's actually funny. Recently, I was interviewed, and I feel bad mentioning this. But recently I was interviewed, and they interviewed me and Emily Morris, who was sex with Emily. So she's a sex expert, and she's amazing. But the interview, I didn't know. understand, but apparently, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I get worried if people mix me up with call her daddy because I get on this interview and she's the lady interviewer's

like, okay, so you guys are both sex experts, blah, blah, blah. My brain, I was like, wait, what fuck? What is this interview? In my head, I'm like, oh my God, I, like, I actually don't talk about sex. Like, I literally in my podcast, I say don't have sex. Like my, my expertise is more like dating relationships and, like, you know, not being depressed. That's more my expertise. So I was like worried. And then she kept asking all this sex stuff in my head. I was like, wait, can I know? Is it so stressful for you if like a guy knows you before and thinks you're going to be like, is the pressure on for you to like be amazing in bed? Because you like, because they have this connotation that you like talk about it. So you're probably wild. And then you're like missionary

bitch. Okay. First of all, I am amazing in bed. Second of all, I've talked about this before with women in general. It's not about whether or not you can write a dick for like 20 minutes because no one has the energy to do that. That's A. But B, it's about confidence. So, and I've told women before when you are about to have sex, like, you have to feel so confident in your body and you have to look like you are so lucky to have sex with me. Obviously, you don't say out loud. But that's how you have to feel. So when you feel you're so sexy, the man is looking at you like he's the luckiest man in the world because he's just like so happy to even be invited to your vagina or to just see like, oh my God, titties.

Like, you're sitting there and you're like, oh, my God, he's going to notice the scar my stomach. No, he's like, oh, my God, tittyes. Oh, my God, vagina. That's what I am so shocked. Men are like, I gave birth and my husband a week later was like filling me up. I'm like, should I be complimented? Like, I feel like that's, that's, it's so true what you say because it's about how you feel. It's not like, oh, I'm not attracted to my husband right now because he's, you know, whatever.

It's like, I feel gross. I still have the dark line on my stomach from being. pregnant. I don't know what's happening with my vagina. I, you know, so, so it's my friend once said she's like, it's like you have to get turned on by yourself. Yes. Like before you look at me like I'm, I feel kind of a prude next to all this shit. Well, I was saying I slept with 10 guys, but now I went down. I said I slept with nine guys because the 10th guy doesn't count. Like he couldn't get his dick up and then like I felt bad. And wait, what? 10 guys in your life? Nine. I don't count the 10. So, and actually, like I've said before, if you, if you only count guys who made you orgasm, then I'm a virgin.

So, it's so crazy. What? Yes. I'm not, like, I'm more of a monotonous leader. No, no. I'm talking about the guys that made you orgasm, zero? No, it's a joke. I'm sure some of them. I don't know, actually. I don't know. That is. I mean, I call myself a prude and I think my number is seven. But you still have time. Yeah, that's true. How old are you? I'm 32. Oh, you're my age. Exactly. I didn't know that. That's nice. And you're married with kids. Just rub it in. I'm

married with one kid. My husband, I mean, I was 22 when we met and I'm like, fuck you for taking me off the market before I, you know, got to be so wild and date around. But is it fun to date? I don't even know what it's like to date. Do you enjoy it? This is quarantine. So I would say this is the worst time for single people, to be honest. You're kind of like, should I just go back to my ex or like, well, That one friend of mine, he's not looking too bad. I guess I could fuck him. And then it's weird when you have sex with a friend because you're like, ew, he's, he's like eating my pussy right now. This is so gross. Like, I know you since you were a baby. That's weird.

It's not my thing. It's not for me. So I don't know. I haven't had sex since April. So. Yeah. But I do masturbate quite often. I do talk about that.

So maybe that's why that girl thought I was a sex expert because I'm always like, I take out of balls and I masturbate. And she's like, oh, she knows about sex. No, I just know about touching myself. I'm not having sex. Is it with a vibrator or without a vibrator? Vibrator. That's the only way I also have sex. Like, even if I have sex with the guy for the first time, I, like, sometimes I forget

to tell the guy. And like, we're about to have sex. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is good. Hold on. And I put my hand into my drawer. And I take up my vibrator. I remember one time the guy was like, what the, what? And I was like, oh, don't, don't mind it.

Don't worry about it. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. That is confident. Stop. That's how I have sex. That's like you're underestimating them from the beginning. It probably feels like to them. I didn't realize that.

You're like, you won't be good enough for this. Oh my God, I wonder if it turns them on. Oh, my God, I wonder. I think sometimes it can make them insecure. Okay, you guys, sorry to interrupt. I wanted to tell you about the postnatal vitamin that I'm taking, which is ritual. They also have a prenatal. They also have a women's daily multivitamin.

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I have so much to talk to you about because I know we want to talk about a little bit of the bachelor. We wanted to talk about Army Hammer, which. Right. Are you following House of Effie? No. That's the girl that started out outing him and posting all of their DMs. I think you should read through it because you have more of a capacity to read. That kind of shit.

I like to just read. Is that part of marriage? That's why you need me in your life, Violet, because you didn't even know to follow House of Effie to get all the fucking tea. Well, I don't really follow like celebrity gossip and things like that. So House of Effie, for those who don't know, has been posting. She's private, I think. You have to like request her.

Which pisses me off because I'm like, you're going to approve everyone. So what's going on? But she's been posting all of the messages with the Army that are. At first, you're, like, Photoshop, but no, we already know it's, it's for real. A lot of other women came forward. And do I think he's a cannibal? No. I think he's turned on about talking about it.

You're like, what? Wait, do you know what's going on, Violet? I kind of know, but with, uh, he was like an asshole to women and he's into cannibalism. He's into, like, talking, like, being like, I want to eat your heart and your soul and cut you into pieces. Like, that turns him on. Cute.

He said he. like ate a living something, but like, I don't think he did. Okay, I'll be honest. And I'm very into, maybe because I'm Scorpio, but I'm really into, what is that word for it? Not theory. No, yes, I do. Oh, conspiracies?

Conspiracies. I'm very into conspiracies. And I actually talked about the Army Hammer thing with one of my friends, unedibles, and we were talking about it. And I was just like, you know what I think. I feel like there's some truth to everything. even if it's like, it seems like it's a little off. There's some truth to everything.

And in my opinion, celebrities, top celebrities are really into some weird shit. And I do believe they're like into sacrifices and they do like those rituals. And because I've watched some of those conspiracy like documentaries about celebrities. So I genuinely believe that like he's probably part of it. Because you've seen Chrissy Tagan before talk about how she'll eat a baby or whatever. Like she'll drink some blood or whatever to be like rich or more famous. like, or you've seen Nikki Minaj always thank the devil. She's always like, what's not God?

It's the devil. Like, always these jokes. But like, after a while, you're like, what if there's some truth to all these things? And then, like, in the documentary that I was watching, there was this one devil worship relator lady. You're like, what the fuck? Hold on. There's this one devil worship a lady who is known to be part of a cult.

And then you see in the documentary, she's in so many pictures with so many celebrities and so many parties. And you're like, wait, how the fuck does she know all these people? So I'm just saying, I genuinely believe that like the top 1% of the most famous celebrities, they're just really, they're wackiest, they're really weird. There's something to really weird stuff. So I'm not surprised that like this guy is suddenly into like the cannibalism things. I feel like it adds up. It makes sense.

Shit doesn't come out of the woodworks like made up completely. Maybe things are exaggerated. Right. Maybe it's like, like I said, he's not a cannibal like eating humans, which, like, Like, sometimes when I talk about this shit, it's like, I can't even believe I'm like explaining this. So there's this guy in Hollywood that might be a cannibal. But A, where there's smoke, there's fire like you said.

B, someone's so rich, so famous, so good looking, you know, universally hot, whatever. Like, again, he comes from like an oil tycoon family. He, like, has all the money. He could get any woman, like, blah, blah, blah. They need to resort to, like, crazy shit to, like, get excited. So, so that, so it makes sense. That's why don't you remember Hugh Grant was like married to Elizabeth Hurley and then he fucked some like prostitute when he was like married to Elizabeth Hurley?

Like select you're like, nope, wasn't alive. Sorry. She's like, I don't know. I don't. I'm tunnel vision. So anyway, they, you're right. Celebs do do wacky shit because they're bored and they have so much money and so much time. So do we believe it?

Yes. Again, do I think he's like eating deer? Like he said something about a deer's pounding heart. Maybe. I think maybe. But you know, it's the funniest I was going to tell you is that like two years ago, I slept with this guy. Such a nice dick. Three years ago. One of the nine. One of the nine. Yeah. Very nice thick dick. Great dick. Then I had to, I couldn't continue sleeping with him because he was a terrible person. Literally. Like he had a coke problem and he punched my friend in the face. And I was like, well, now I can't sleep with you after that. He was like coked out. Anyway, whatever. That's besides the story. So now Army Hammer. is his mentor and is his godfather. So he was always so, like, excited about it. So I think it's so hilarious.

A years later, I'm like, of course, what are the odds? This guy was a terrible person and his godfather is also a terrible person. Makes sense. Wait, is he young that his godf-f-like, how old is this guy? Mid-20s? Or, like, the godfathers not have to be... They don't have to be older. Oh, they don't have to be older.

No. He's in his mid-late 20s. That is wild. And that's why everyone now is like, Did his co-stars know? Did his wife know? Because, like, now the fact that he cheated on his wife with all these women that are coming out is, like, not interesting. Because, like, cheating is a normal thing, right?

Being a cannibal is, like, the interesting part of the story. But I don't know much about S&M. But what they're saying is that he's super into S&M. And that's fine. Because in our world of today, you can't shame anything. So we're not kink shaming. We're not S&M shaming. We're cannibal shaming, I think.

You can. You can do it. Right now. Right now. Right now. In a year, it's like, don't cannibal shame, okay? So what I wanted to say is that why it's more than kinky is because he like took it too far and like you need to have a safe word with S&M as a sex expert. You should know? No, no, no. I'm listening to too far. That's why I was shocked. In S&M, you need a safe word, right? To stop, which like Christian Gray, I'm sure you saw 50 shades of gray. Yes. For sarcasticly. I watched it sarcastically and then I was into it. Like I watched Twilight again sarcastically and then again I got so into it and I was like, yeah.

I love Twilight. Honestly, I'm going to be really honest here. Twilight is like the last book I read. Stop everything. Hate me. Unfollow me. I read the books too. And I thought it was so cool.

I was like, I read the books. Did you not feel like a vampire? Now I can't say that. People are going to think I'm Army. But I remember like reading it and I got so into it. I was like, am I like Bella?

Yes. No. Well, Bella's not vamp. Oh, yeah. She became. No. She became one. Yeah. And I was watching true blood as well. So I was kind of like, damn, I wish. You were a vampire. Somebody would just like bite me and I could be a vampire. I'm so jealous. So, oh my God. So, so safe word. He apparently either didn't respect the safe word, meaning, let's say strangling and you say a word to stop. So he didn't respect it, which is a huge no-no in the world of S&M. Obviously, it sounds like that makes sense. She put up pictures of, like, his bruises. She wants to take him the fuck down. And it's succeeding in the way that, I guess today for assault victims going to the police, like, really big deal. And it's hard to get them to believe you. But all of her shit made him drop out or get kicked out of the movie

he was supposed to come out with with JLo. So it worked on that front. I'm also really scared of House of Effie because she follows me. And every time I put something up about it, she, DM me and, like, said something. Not in a mean way, but in a, like, don't say that,

like, ask me before. Oh. Then she put up this video of her, like, dancing. She's, like, a beautiful, I think Russian, like, model. So she put up this, like, stripper video. And in the stripper video,

you're going to die. In the stripper video, there was, like, Army's voice being like, all I want to do is have you besides something wild. So, me who usually post whatever the fuck I want, wanted to repost that, but I'm scared of House of Effie.

So I DM'd her being like, can I post this? And she was like, no. Oh my God. Yeah, she's scary. And I was like, listen, she's taking down Army. I don't need her to like,

she told me in our private messages. She's in one of her things, I was like, oh my God. And she's like, I'm going to obliterate him. She wrote to me. So it's over for, do you think he, I mean,

mean, you're in L.A. Like, is there a way back for him, like, from this? Like, will we see him in another movie? Um, since he's a man, he will get through this. Yeah. That's just the honest truth. I feel like you can, like, the worst things happens with men and entertainment. And then they're like, they still have jobs afterwards.

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Wait, did she approve you? No, no. I'm trying. Oh, she's, she's, um, she's not private. She does look kind of Russian. Not Russian, but Eastern European. Wow, that's really funny, though. When you're like, can I post this? Because it's like, you know, it's what I do for work. And she's like, no.

I never asked in my life, listen, I believe her. I believe victims and everything, you don't want to fuck with her. She doesn't seem like you want to fuck with her. So I was, even though she put her thing up publicly, I asked her, she said no. And I was like, okay then. So another thing we wanted to talk about is the bachelor world. Since you're in L.A., probably inundated with Bachelor people. Oh, my God, I forgot.

Yeah. This is so embarrassing. Let's talk about it. Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. This is, so first of all, wait, you're in L.A. People know you're in L.A. Do guys slide into your DMs all the time in general?

Yes. Anyone interesting blue check mark? Yes, but I'm not going to mention because I, I want, because I slid in other guys in guys' DMs all the time too. Oh my God, I would slide if I was in, I'd slide all day. Yeah. That's how it would meet people. It's like the new dating app, Instagram, no? Yeah, but sometimes I do it as a joke.

because I think it's funny and I want to send to my friends. But again, I forget that I have followers and I have a checkmark and a lot of the time people will answer me then and I'd be like,

oh shit. Because it was like just a joke. So. But maybe it's not a funny joke. Why would they think you're joking? No, no, because sometimes I'll just,

I'll hit on, like, okay, here's an example. I've been watching, an example of somebody who didn't answer me, didn't see my damn. I've been watching Barrington.

What is the word? Oh, Bridgetton. I've been watching Bridgetton. You're like me. We're like hilarious that we forget the words in English. Yeah. So the main guy, he's so sexy. Oh, I didn't watch it yet. Okay. So the main guy, he's, I think he's half black or he's fully black. I don't know. He's so hot. And then the British accent just make everything so much hotter. So while I was watching it, I DM'd him. And I said, hey, do you feel that? It's me burning for you. Because he makes up, he keeps saying words like, I burn for you. I burn for you. So funny. So I was like, hey, do you feel that it's me burning for you? And I thought it was so funny. He didn't open it, though.

I'm really sad. Wait, what would you have continued the conversation seriously, though, if you opened it? I would be like, please come over. And then I give him an SDD. And then I'm like, do you feel that it's burning, right? I'm kidding. Wait, I need to watch. Is it super erotic?

Yeah, it's really good. I love it. I need to watch. I need to watch. Wait, so, so you slide. too into people's DMs. Only like, only like famous-ish people. Everyone.

Like what? A hot guy can come up on your Explorer page and no slide? I guess like sometimes, no, I don't slide into guys' DMs in general. It's more like I'll slide into people's DMs, like even if they're not verified or they don't have followers if like I like their talent. So like a girl's DMs, I'll be like, hey, like that was really beautiful. I just wanted to know like you sing really nicely. If I see her on my X square page, just want to give her a compliment. But I would say...

I'm really offended. I've never slid into my DMs. Yes, I did. I said, let's do this podcast. Oh, that's true. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Thanks for reminding me.

Now I feel a whole... Our reps were sending down out emails. And I said, let's just do it more personally. And I DM do. So you see, I'm a DMer. Yeah. I get down to business. So how do you organize your inbox?

I don't. Well, I have the two different things. Like the general... Right. That's what I started using. So you use them both? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. No, because I could tell by your personal, you're like me in the sense that you seem. I respond. Yeah. And you're like organized and kind of type Aish. And she's very, she's like, our podcast needs to come out on this day. And like, we need to do it this. I'm like, oh my God. You're so like organized. Well, I come. People forget that I come from professional. I come from public. Russia. Yes. But also I come from public accounting. And from a really big firm. People like, I think some people, I, I don't read it. Like, people shit on me about it. I like, try not to even go on it because it's just not good for myself esteem. But somebody was like, there's no way she's from like a big firm. Like no, no, actually I am from a very big firm. So like I, I'm very like type A personality from that. So that's kind of helped me. You studied like you're a CPA? Yes. I was studying my CPA while I was in an accountant. I passed two, which was tax and business. And I had two more to go. And then I started out. issues and I never finished the other CPA exams, which I regret. But I do have a degree in business and in accounting is undergrad. That's wild. That's, listen, first of all, you said Ukraine, right? You're both your parents are from Ukraine. We're Russian-Ukrainian. When I say,

Papa, we're Ukrainian, right? My dad goes, we're not Ukrainians. We're Jewish. I'm like, okay, it's cute. That is really cute. But it's, it's when, so I was telling Violet before because she's also Israeli, like me, or lived, was born in Israel? And raised in Israel. Born in Russia, raised in Israel, yeah. Born and Russia, raised in Israel. So I was telling her, like, I grew up with so many Russians in Israel. And I always wanted to be one because Russians are so regimented, hardcore, strong.

Like, you could go on Survivor and, like, survive in the desert, like, with no food. Like, Russians are just really strong. Were you raised in a, like, typical Russian household where, like, it was, like, rules and, like, ballet and and and you know what I mean and vodka for breakfast well I think people get mixed up between Russians or Russian Jews I think we're very different in that regard so my family we we don't drink so there was no vodka for breakfast and my dad was also not there for breakfast so that's where the daddy should come from so I would say in that way we're very Russian where we didn't have like emotional love and no one was ever crying and we weren't hugging

or anything like that. Was I in ballet and gymnastics when I was young? Yeah. Can I still do the splits? Yes. Was I also playing the violin? Yes. Was I the worst one on there?

Yes. So. That's wild. That's wild. Wait, so tell me. Sorry, I get off topic. So, wait, you're not going to tell me about the Bachelor guy? No, I am.

I'm going to tell me. I slid into Tyler's DM. I was like, hey, what's up? I should have guessed that you slid into, oh, just like the hottest commodity of Bachelor Nation. Oh, Tyler. Tyler who? No, actually, I tagged him in a story and he saw that.

And then I was like, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know you're going to see that. Lying, obviously. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. That's so crazy. Like, what are the odds?

Oh, my God. That would be my vibe. That if I was single, I feel like that's what I'm. Oh, my God. What? Like, it only works 10 out of 10 times when I do this. What are the odds this worked? But the point.

It's not even about him. The point is that I slinted to his DMs. He knew who I was and we started chatting and we ended up hanging out. It went in the tabloids and then I ended up being in like some weird like love triangle with him and Gigi. And then Hannah Brown. Oh my God. I remember that now. And then I was so embarrassed and it felt so uncomfortable because I don't like to be.

Wait, did you hook up with him? No. We went on, we went out for lunch. That's it. And then afterwards I saw. Yes. In the light. Yes.

No alcohol. No, I don't need to drink to be fun. I don't, it's not about being fun. It's about, like, I don't know, dates seem so nerve. It wasn't. So, A, it's light out. B, you're like. He was a fan of daddy issues and I was a fan of his good looks.

And we met up for lunch for that. Like, is he really amazing? Like, are his good looks really overwhelming? I feel about saying anything in case I run into him. I found a very boring. But he is very attractive and he's a very, he's a gentleman. I could see him being boring, yeah. But I think he also, like, it's obvious.

Like any, a reality, reality stars in general, like, they get the fame and they just want to pursue it. So, of course, he went to lunch with me because I think he thought it was cool and I thought his looks were cool and that's all that mattered. And then he had a chance. So did he thought he was cool? Yeah. And then Gigi was probably also watching the show. And then he probably thought it was really cool to date someone like Gigi, which is why he jumped from Hannah Brown to like Gigi. I mean, but who.

First of all, it is really cool to date. Gigi. Who wouldn't want to date Gigi? I would date Gigi. I know. But anyway, I accidentally somehow got involved in it and I was so embarrassed, not comfortable. And I just didn't want to be a part of it because I was like, shit. Like, I'm not even involved in this. And I just felt, I don't know, I felt embarrassed. So then I stayed away from Bachelor people, which just sucks. And now if I ever want to DM a Bachelor person, like. Wait, you said there were two violent. Yeah. So here's my mistake. So Bachelorette came out and everyone's telling me to watch it because um the girl in the season was hilarious.

Yeah. No, the one before her. Oh, Claire. Claire. You really are. Yeah. We need we need, we need, you need me in your life. Go on. Wait. So I'm going to look for the. Okay. So anyway, so I started watching Claire's season. And then I was like, oh, that one guy looks really hot. And it was Bennett. He's when, when it just, it was like the first episode. So I didn't know his personality yet. Oh my God. So I was like. like, oh, Bennett's really hot. So then I DMed him. Let me see my...

Okay, oh, because you said you like nerds and he's like from Harvard. Yeah, so that was like a thing, okay. He seems like a gentleman. I didn't know him yet. So I DM'd Bennett, and this is how my DMs go when I DM a guy nowadays.

This is like my move right now. It's embarrassing. I just say, should we date? Yes, no, question mark. So that's how I DM every guy. Do you do copy paste? I don't need to do coffee paste because it's so short.

So this is where it's embarrassing. Okay, I DM Bennett and he goes, that's so flattering. You'll have to wait and see how the journey plays out. But thanks for the love. And I go, so are you saying that? What? Bennett shy you down? Yes, hold on. So this is October, October 23, October 23.

So he kind of rejects me. But then Francesca goes, no, he didn't reject you. He's on the show. They're not allowed to even like say yes, anyone going out with them. Oh, because he's like still on it. So, like, you don't know if he ends up with her. Yeah, it's on contract. So then I go, oh, so you're saying there's a chance and I should wait for you.

Got it. Oh, my God. Did he answer? Wait, he doesn't answer. The next day, I guess he says something. I never see it. I thought he just rejected me. The next day, he writes, Samsonite.

I don't know what that means. Samsonite. I was way off. You're pretty funny. And then he follows me on daddy issues and my personal. But I guess I never saw that. I forgot about him because I thought. he rejected me.

What the fuck is Samson? I don't know what Samsonai means. But also it was kind of like blah. Like now you want to talk to me? Because you know I'm daddy his shoes. Like, eh. Wait, you slid in from via.

Do you cite him from Violet or from Daddy's shoes? No, Violet. No, but I don't think you're right. I don't think he would be more into you because of daddy issues. He would be more into you because of your personal where he can see you. I don't know. I mean,

I forgot about him. I didn't. I gained some respect right now for Bennett because if he was cloudy and thirsty, Do you get what I'm saying? Can we look at it that way and not look at your rejection for a minute? I don't feel rejected. Thank you very much.

It's part of life. No, no, no. But I'm saying Bennett could have been more, you know. Wait, let me get to the other guy. Oh, I thought, oh, there's a third one? I'm talking about two guys now from this season. Oh, I thought Tyler C was one of them. Okay, no, Ben, it was good.

I was just trying to get to the point of why I feel like it's next I have maybe I have to stop DMing Bachelor people at this point because maybe it's weird because I just don't I by the way I always DM reality stars like I became friends with this girl Rudy because I loved how she sounds on she's so cute listen to your heart yeah oh she's such a cutie I DM'd I was like what is your sign I have to know what's your zodiac sign and now we became friends okay wait so on the Bachelorette with Tasha wait did you watch listen to your heart? Don't get mad at me. You watched it? Because one reality show you watched, I need to like get on it. So I just saw Bree and Chris broke up. No way. Yeah. Oh my God, no, they were perfect.

There's zodiac signs were also compatible. I looked it up. I was so happy for them. They were so cute. Yeah, they broke up. Sometimes I feel like they let like fame get to them and that's why it doesn't work out with these like people when they first like. You know what I mean? I feel like that's what it is.

Love show always come first. And I'll tell you about research about love in the second. But anyway, the point is that. So I DM Bennett. I never noticed that he responded because it got buried in my DM. So like, I just assumed he forgot about me and I forgot about him. Then a few weeks later, the show continues of The Bachelor and now they have a new contestant. And I randomly watch that.

And I see everyone's hyping up about this one fan favorite. Ben. Okay. So I completely forgot about Bennett. So then I DM Ben. Why did you DM Ben? Because he didn't make it on the, he got kicked out. But no, but you would like to Ben?

I didn't watch the show anymore. I just kept seeing pictures of him and I was like, oh, he's really cute. Oh, you thought he was really cute. Okay. I don't know. What happened with Ben? Oh, no, no. I just had someone, I did a podcast yesterday with Becca Martinez who was on the

bachelor before. And that's funny because she went off on Ben. She's like, I hate Ben. But he's a fan favorite somehow. So, yeah. Okay, so then I didn't watch the show. And I'm like, oh, that guy just got kicked off. So let me just do the same DM.

I forgot about Ben at this point. So now is December 27. And I DM, Ben, should we date? Yes, no. Question one. We could try it out, I think. Oh, shit. So then he says we could try it out, I think.

I can't. Wait, so did you answer? Yeah. So then I was like, Wait. And I don't even remember sending this DM. I must have been really like high on edibles. And I was like, wait, not me sitting here trying to figure out how what I was doing at 2 a.m. on a Sunday to send you this DM. But clearly Sunday, 2 a.m. Me really has my back. So hi. Hello. Yeah. We should try it. I'm so embarrassing. Tyler, you kind of are. I'm not good of flirting. No. Now I get all those memes about like flirting and people being bad at it. I feel like you always. overthink it.

Yeah. No, you know what you do? You, your first line is like, cool, I don't care, like whatever.

And then your second line is like, your brain really works. Like how your brain really works and you thought about it 300 times. So embarrassing. And like to someone, like you're not DMing Brad Pitt. Like you're DMing Ben from The Bachelor. Yeah.

Anyway, he was like asking me where I live and then he's like, let's like, next week, let me take you out. And I was like, Okay, yeah, for sure, blah, blah. Then he never responded after that.

And that's when I realized, we remember that I DM Bennett too. And then I saw the Bennett follows me. I was like, oh, fuck, what if they talk to them on themselves? And now they know I sent the same DM to both of them. But, yeah, got rejected twice. Batchar Nation is very like, so it could be what you're saying. Like, is it we need to, first of all, I'm not really happy with your choices. I have to be honest.

I agree. I concur. That's who you chose. Ben and fucking Ben. I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm mad. Okay.

Right now, while we're on the podcast, who's your favorite that I should DM with the same line? Oh, my God. I love this question so much and I wish I came prepared. Loser. I know. Wait, who should we DM? Let's do this. Wait, I kept this thing open because I wanted to read it to you.

wait we'll do this you'll tell me who to DM and then um because I'm also interviewing her from my podcast so then my podcast I'll let you guys know what uh the person said oh my god that's oh look you you fucking business schemer she's trying to get people to listen to her podcast what I'm gonna interview you they should listen to it yeah no does see I'm so bad at marketing you should no wait I don't want to leave this DM because someone sent me Matt's roommate this is so fucking stupid Matt James's roommate went on a podcast and is talking shit about who am I dealing with? The Bachelor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, go on. So Matt James was living in New York, him and Tyler C. We're going to come back to who you're going to DM. You're not getting out of this. So, but I don't want to exit this message that someone said me because I'm going to lose it. So Matt James's ex-roomate went on a podcast. probably not a very known one because like who would think to interview mad james's old roommate but you know mad tea comes out of that shit so somebody sent me which like i hate redid too

i never go on it but that's where like shit like this is so somebody just sent me the reddit of recap i'm going to tell you guys podcast with mad james old roommate these points are a summary she found him on roommate's app tyler squatted there for five months which i heard tyler was squatting in his apartment after the bachelor she wasn't attracted to mad said he had no sexual energy. There is something not too sexual about him. What do you think? I think he's hot and he's in Aries. He is hot. I don't know what that means. What does that mean and he's in Aries so? Ari's like they're very like forward. They're supposed to be very like forward and very sexy and like their presence is always known when they're around. I don't know. I love Aries guys. Really?

Their apartment was a crash pad for Bachelorette contestants from Tyler's season. Whenever they did good morning America they would all crash there how interesting Tyler let's read about Tyler that's the house stayed Tyler stayed with them during Hannah's season was really nice when he got back he was annoying secretive lived there on a rancid bean bag so he dated Gigi had deed while he was living in a fucking bean bag in mad James's house with a roommate well I thought I thought everyone knew that and he was looking for apartments no I knew that he was staying with Matt. That's it.

No wonder why it was on a small podcast. That's it. It's more, it's like, yeah. And then sometimes Tyler doesn't shower twice. Like, sometimes you only showers like once in a day. Like, that's so crazy. And sometimes one time you forgot to brush his teeth at nighttime. Like, how wild is that?

It's like, okay, that's your thing. Okay. That's okay. I know. Well, listen, this girl got on a podcast by being Matt James's, um, wait, did you hear Dail and Claire broke up? No, I thought I saw that they. it's not a sure thing.

Yeah, but then he posted. That's what was so funny. It was like the tabloids were being like taking a break or something. And then Dale put a thing like, we went our separate ways. So he was like, I'm done. Okay. Wait. Wait.

Hold the phone. No. I'm not DMing Dale. Should I? What do we think? I mean, he's a Libro. We're not compatible. You know who's really cute, but he lives in Denver.

Who? Blake. Okay. Wow, it's all guys with the starts with a B. Okay, let me DM Blake. Wait, do you know Blake? Do you remember him? Which one is that?

Blake, what? Blake Horstman. He's a good guy. He had some, I had in my podcast. He had some issues like, oh, no, no, I'm not DM in that guy. He's not even from the show, from the season. I'm not doing. You want a current season guy?

Yeah, I want to, I want to continue the, my same DMs. I'm going to send the same text, too. Wait, why would you want the same season? How does that make sense? I don't know. I thought that would be funnier. Because you said you didn't like the guys I picked. So I'm like, okay, then pick me someone else from that season.

That's good. You're very specific. Oh, maybe we're not going to let her off on this one. Maybe I'll DM. Okay, you'll let me know by the end of the episode. But honestly, with the Claire thing, my friends were saying, and I feel about for saying this. But it's like, wait, what was the other guy's name that was with Claire? Dale?

Dale. Like, I'm going to DM Dale and then I forgot his name. Wait, I need you to DM Dale. Okay. Yay! This is so exciting. No shame. Dale Moss?

No. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm going to DM him. Wait, are you going to write that? Are you going to write your line? I'm going to write the same line.

Yes. This is so good. I'm dying. Should we date? And he's a cloud monster, so I think he's going to answer. I hope. I mean, maybe he needs some. time to recover. He is really hot. Oh, my God. He is. But are you sure? That's the guy you want

to DM? Oh, my God. Imagine you end up with Dale. No, I won't because he's a Libra. I feel like it's such a loser. How do you know what sign is? I looked up their signs to see if they're compatible. Wait, what? I'm such like a, I'm such a, like, a loner that just stay like in my thoughts. And then I just like hang out with myself. Well, you didn't remember Dale's name right now, but you know how he's compatible with Claire. She's, She's a Pisces. He's a Libra. They always are drawn to each other. Libra and Pisces are always drawn to each other, but they're not actually compatible. They're so similar, but they're so different. And that's where they can clash. I know, I know, I know. Wait, so when you start dating someone, do you analyze? When do you ask them their sign? At what point? I try not to. So it's more like, oh my God, my birthday was so crazy. When was yours? Like, what season was that? Oh, that's so crazy. It was like, morning. was a night. Yeah.

Wait, so what do you think about the fact that I'm a Gemini? It's interesting. Good for you. What's your husband? Taurus. I love that. Wait, okay, so I'm going to send this. Are you sure?

I'm kind of scared. But wait, you didn't make that face last time. I did that with Ben. Okay. I added something extra. Oh, my God. Something crazy. You've added something crazy.

So crazy. Okay. I sent it. That's so embarrassing. I'm kind of embarrassed. I'm so excited. I'm living vicariously through you. I mean, I don't even...

But he's not even that great. Like, I feel like I should have DM someone like... Oh, no, because Ben, it's great. And Ben's great. He's greater than them. He is, okay. I should have watched this. This is my belief, and this is going to sound like I don't support women.

I think that he was kind of trapped by Claire. Okay, so that's what my friends were saying. I feel bad for saying this, but like, my friends were saying how, like, Dale came on the show. He wanted to get, like, a lot of the people on The Bachelor, he wanted to get famous. He wanted to get his followers. And, like, he was just like, yeah, okay.

So he was down with it. But then I think he didn't realize how much people will also dislike Claire, like the audience, how much the audience was like Claire? And I feel like he was like, oh, fuck, like I'm in the wrong. I jumped in the wrong thing. Like, he probably was dying when he found out the Tisha came on. But then I feel like he's a good man. So he felt bad and he wasn't just going to break it off.

He was like, all right, well, I got to write this out. so I can still get my fame and I can continue being the good man that I am. And that's why I think he stayed with her for a minute. So I was saying this. I used to kind of make fun of Cassie and Colton in the way that, because you watch a few episodes, he was so obsessed with her. And I don't know if you watched the episode that he kind of chose her and broke it off with.

I think it was Tasha and like Hannah Jay. Cassie was heading home. And he was like, no, Cassie, it's you. And she's like, my dad's here to pick me up. And he was like, no, like I love you. So from there I was like, which is crazy because I was calling him like obsessive and stalkerish before he actually stalked her. And then the more I thought about I told, I talked about the fact that I don't think Cassie's not okay. I think she was kind of like too nice.

Like, okay, then we'll try to be together. And of course she probably kind of loved him. She was with him. So I think Dale, did he come on to get like kind of famous and whatever? For sure. Then Clear was like you and like imprinted on him, twilight. style, like twilight She imprinted.

And then he was like, and I don't know if you watched a whole season, but this is legit how it went. He was like, cool. Like, yeah, I'm into you too. And then the next day she sends everybody home and Chris Harrison's like, you have to propose. Yeah, wait, so you did see it. Actually, I watched Claire's parts.

Yeah. So Chris Harrison's like, yeah, she really likes you. He's like, cool, I like her do. She sent everyone home. He's like, oh, okay. so just me and he's like and you're going to have to propose so he i mean you saw in his face the guy was like i feel bad but she should have a little bit more life experience and like awareness when someone's like not a hundo into her but okay wait we're almost done so i really want to ask you this

now we're talking about the bachelor and like we need to do a part too because we went on tangents and we have so much more i'm talking about but would you go on the bachelor or bachelorette actually on my last podcast on bad bitch boot camp i said i want to manifest that i will be the next bachelorette and i said if you guys are listening if anyone works in a bc and you're listening please have me be the next bachelorette wait but so you wouldn't go on the bachelor first you want to be the bachelorette right right away well because i feel like um matt james i'm like filling in to you. Because I feel like Matt James paved the way.

He showed me that you don't actually have to be on the show. I'll be, I feel like I'm like ready to pop babies like tomorrow, which I feel like. Are you? Are you really? Mentally, yes. But not sure. But would you, okay, so you would, which is so cute because I feel like you tap in

where you want to tap in. So it's like you'll know the people you want to send DMs to. You'll watch the parts that like you want to watch. And you'll know. know such a, like, detail that Matt James wasn't on any season and that he's the first bachelor to not be on the franchise. And now you're going to use that as leverage. Yeah. Okay. So I just think it makes sense for me then to be the next bachelorette. I'm fun. Apparently, I'm very bad at flirting. So it can be good TV. And I can be kind of prude,

but then also not prude. So I don't know. I'm just saying it would be really fun. And I'm just saying it would be really fun. should be the next bachelor, I'll find my husband who'll pop some babies, all thanks to Bachelor Nation. They can pay for a wedding. They can pay for my ring. It just seems really convenient for me. So you wouldn't, but I think you're being a little bit serious. Like, I feel like you would be down. No, I'm a hundred percent serious. Like, you're not, you're not hearing me. I want to be the next bachelor. I don't understand why I'm not. Wait, but would you, if they were like, listen, Violet, we love you. We think you have what it takes, but we made the exception for Matt James.

For you, we'd have to bring you on a season of someone that you liked. Would you come on as a contestant? No, because that's like a whole year of my life. Then until they decide the bachelor and then I have to just hope and pray that it'll be me. Maybe you're going to fall in love with the lead. I know that like we said we're competitive. But when it comes to dating, I'm not competitive in that way. Like if I feel like, I can literally, I feel like a hypocrite.

I can literally talk to like five different guys. But if one of them is talking to someone else, I would be like, you know what I don't want to do this then I will not compete for a man's attention and I will like stop dating that person so I can I don't know what it would be like for me for me to be in a house with a bunch of women I would become friends with all of them and I will focus on my friendship with them and then I would just shut down with the guy because I'm like you don't deserve me you you like all these other women then like I don't need to be with you so I would just not be good TV I would make friends and then people will forget I'm there okay so

We're going to stick with sliding into DMs, Ambassador Nation dudes. And, oh, my God, I'm so excited to find out what Dale answers. And if Dale answers. I don't know if Dale's going to answer. I mean, he just went for a breakup. I have a feeling. I have a hunch. Okay.

But I'm not, I feel bad. I'm not, I'm not feeling him that much. It doesn't matter. I don't care. Okay. I want to play this game all the time. Violet, I love having you on galore. and I'm going to be on Violet's podcast, too tired to be crazy.

Next week. Next week. When you post this, my episode comes out the following week. See, she's the accountant. She's the accountant between us. And I really loved meeting you. I love meeting you too. Are our science compatible?

Sure. Don't. You're lying. One of the Bible in Yvrit, one of the Bible, before we say we're saying out of the episode. How do you say episode in Hebrew? To the Brit TV, Brit. Perik. Wait, you want to

talk about in Bavrit that people misshmeau? Yeah. So I told Violet before we were started, I was like I'm more Israeli

than you. You're competitive, yeah. No. I'm really better, but I'm not, I'm sorry. The Hebrew

my own, I just know how to say something. To be. I'm I'm talking. So, so the,

so the, so the, as the, as the, as the, they're, they're going behind? No,

but it's it's all We're not You're not You're not You're not So it's not So it's not

So it's not With you're not And I'm And even I'm thinking I'm lio So by me I'm like

I identify as a Leo Rega And what you How do you say it in Hebrew Krav? Yeah Yeah

Yeah Krab Do you have a tattoo of your sign? I don't have any tattoos Do you have tattoos? Oh you don't have

Yeah I have tattoos And if I was as in the Signs as you I'd get a fucking, like, I'd get a Scorpio all over me. All over you, okay? All over me. So everyone else.

I ask Violet, how are our signs compatible? She's like, they're okay. I mean, dating-wise, we're not really compatible, but friendship-wise, we're fine. But everyone thinks I'm a Leo, so I feel like the best sign for you. If I have any male listeners, which I think are very few and far between, what's the best sign to date you? The best sign to date me, apparently supposedly for Scorpio, is a Taurus and Pisces, but I personally am more drawn to other fire signs. So I love like dating Leo's or Aries. Like Aries, I feel like would be the perfect for me.

What month is Aries? Aries is right after, right before I think Taurus or right after I forget. But it's basically, I think, like, beginning of April. that's before then yeah okay beginning of april till may i think jenny for much april may wait i do the same thing yeah it's the it's the like multi we're like basically hilaria baldwin violet i really really loved having you i'm so excited to the fact that this is not the last time we're going to talk so thanks are coming on everyone follow daddy issues if you don't already violet benson her personal and too tired to be crazy thank you so much for having me i had so much fun

Yay, me too. Bye. Bye. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo.

Thank you guys so much for listening. And I'll see you next. Tuesday.