Not Skinny But Not Fat - Dylan Sprouse Is Entering His Dad Era

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

A super joyful episode as I’m joined by Dylan Sprouse! We talk about his Disney Channel days, what it was really like growing up as a twin, life with his supermodel wife, Barbara Palvin, becoming a dad, his recent home invasion, and so much more.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episodeFind bottled Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your gas or groceriesTo explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/NOTSKINNYUpgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/notskinnyVisit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near youHead over to superpower.com and use code NOTSKINNY for $20 off your $199 Superpower membershipNutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and use code NOTSKINNY10Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code NOTSKINNY at checkoutProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hey, hey, hey, happy Tuesday, everybody. Welcome to a new episode, Not Skinny But Not Fat. It's your girl, Amanda.

I hope everyone's having a wonderful day. You know that when people call me, not. Skinny, not fat, I don't correct them. Just like, it gives the same. Like, I could probably change my handle and people wouldn't notice the butt is missing. When people call me not skinny, no, but fat. That's funny. Anyway, how is everybody doing?

I don't know why I'm in a good mood. I was just really annoyed five minutes ago. Just family stuff. Sisters are crazy. Families are crazy. And I love my family, obsessed with my family. but sometimes I'm like, can I move to another country

so I don't have to deal with your fucking weird-ass shit? So right now, I'm sure this happens in many families, but like everybody's birthday is in August, like my sister's three kids, her husband, my mom, and Noah. Now, Noah, because I'm normal, I celebrated his birthday with his class in June, which is like annoying for a summer birthday,

but so he had his birthday party. And now it's like, Yeah, of course, on the day of, we'll do like a cake with the family, but I'm like organized like that. Okay? My older sister is really not. So she's like scrambling, trying to do her three kids birthdays together last minute. I'm like, okay. Then her husband and my mom have the birthday on the same day.

So if we try to plan something for my mom, it's like, oh, my husband has to be included too. And I'm like, we want to go to a girl's massage. She's coming. Like it makes no sense. It's so, it stresses me the fuck out. I'm like, get me to Timbuktu. Like I cannot deal with this birthday craziness. You know what I mean?

Like, get your shit together. Anyway, so that's why I was pissed before I started recording. But then I just thought about you guys and got instantly happier. I was also talking to my sister just now about Shibusi and Sierra Miller rumors. And I was like, I love it. But it said she was being canoodily with him somewhere on Dumois. And they looked pretty close. But then I was like, but she is flirtatious.

Like, don't forget. like her and Jesse used to canoodle like and she wasn't even going to hook up with him, you know? So I feel like we can't know for sure, but I would like it. And then I told my sister, I was like, and I think I like his new song. And then I started singing his first song. And then she was like, no, it's a new song. And I was like, oh, it is a new song, but I think it sounds like the old song. She was like, I think it's exactly like the old song.

Just gave me a chuckle. And I know whiskey down in here, no, no, good me. love it. So country. Anyway, guys, what else is up? I have a very, very, very exciting podcast guest today. I was excited when we booked him, but I got more excited because leading up to him coming on the show, I started getting served and also just watching more and more clips of him from his new podcast, which is what he came on to promote. And, um, Then I was like, oh, my God, not only was I excited to have him as a guest, but now I'm more excited because he seems so cool and conversational and interesting and funny. And then he came on and proved all of that to be right and more, like I left giddy being like, I love him.

It's Dylan Spouse from the Spouse twins. You know him, you love him from that baby on friends and Big Daddy to The Sweet Life. and now he's married to supermodel Barbara Palvin. He's a dad to be, and he's very much a dad, which I learned from the minute he walked into the studio with the chain on his glasses and Newbellion says, he's so cute. You're going to love him.

You're going to enjoy this. You're going to be giddy. My dad is a religious speakerphone head. He refuses to take the call into his phone. He's always talking to the world for everything. Oh, okay. Which I am now doing myself. I didn't realize that this is like something that can be genetically passed on.

It's like a dad thing to do, I feel like. It's absolute dad mode. I mean, I got the chained glasses already. You're in dad mode. I got new balances on, dude. I'm about to hit a grill so hard this summer. I'm going to fucking crush it. Wait, you're turning, you're a Leo.

I'm a Leo. Wednesday? I'm turning 34 on August 4th. Can you believe that? Can you? I still think I'm 15. Really? I don't think I've mentally changed much.

Well, you do have a baby face. I guess, but the face fluctuates a lot depending on how hungry I am. What do you mean? When you're hungry or what happens? I am like, I have like a weird elastic body I've noticed that I can be, I can either be, I'm normally sitting at like a soft four, but I can hit a hard 10 if I lock in. In hotness? In hotness, yeah.

I can lock into a nine if I really lock in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm comfortable at a soft for. When you're locking in, you mean what, like the routine? Working out, hitting the gym, eating right. But it's a full-time gig to do that. Yeah, I'm aware. I don't have the-

I mean, you're on the not skinny but not fat pod. Dude, this is the story of my life. This is maybe this was titled for a guest like me. When your long hair era was an era, Yeah. When was that? Barbara still loved me through that too, which is crazy. I would think my guess was that she maybe liked that more or no. I have a theory that the guys who have been historically the most successful in the dating sphere are medium handsome funny guys with a sense of humor.

Did they have long hair? No, that just attributes itself to medium handsome. Oh, okay. I think you're not medium-hantam. But when I have long hair, I'm like, I think in my mind I look like the way people look at Erling Holland in the Norway games. And I'm like, that's what I look like. It's not what I look like. It was good for you.

Yeah, you think. I liked it. I found out though. Did you do a bun ever? I never really did a bun. And I never really, I have very thick hair, which I'm thankful for. That's my father's side. which apparently they say that like your mother gives you the hair thing.

Like if you bald or like it's the mom's side. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, I know for a fact it's my dad's side. Yeah. I don't know if that was scientifically proven. Yeah, I don't know either. Maybe color, hair color.

Yeah. I don't know. But I just would never cut it, thin it. So it's just kind of a big main. And she loved you through it. Like she dealt with it. Barbus just watched me undergo a lot of changes. She jokes a lot that she has like a different look.

husband every other than that. Like what changes, though, aside from hair? You were saying like the fluctuation. Hair, body weight, you know. She loves you for you. She actually does love me for me, which is great. Which is amazing. I think that's the dream, right?

That's what you're hopefully. Yeah, you're hopefully, yeah. Well, I'm glad you're here for many reasons. Thank you. But one of them is because your Instagram page always fascinated me. I don't know if anyone, if everyone pays attention to these things, but two things. One is that you have this like weird graphic. Yeah.

Which used to fit better on the older version of Instagram. Okay. What's happening there? So it was a drawn living room that I drew. And in the nine by nine or the nine grid, the three by three grid, it would like match up so that the TV was the picture that I was posting. Okay. I thought it was like a animal. I mean, it looks kind of like anything now because the four.

format changed. Oh, okay. However, I've also had those images for pretty sure like nine, ten years now. But there's an intentional thing here where you keep that. Yes. And then you post to post and only the newest post stays in the first location and you get rid of anything before. A hundred.

Tell me about that, about that strategic decision. It is strategic. You're very, you're very keen to notice. because I want to, like, post for brands and stuff, but I definitely don't want to keep a coffee scrub on my page for three years. But how often are you doing coffee scrub brand collabs? But I'm just also, like, I don't necessarily want to have, you know, like a Coca-Cola anima powder, like up on a page.

It's just too much. So it came from that. It came from a practical standpoint of being like, okay, well, I'm going to keep it up for three, four days. Yeah. And you, the brand could come to us and be like, hey, we really want to collaborate with you and we want to work with you. And if it's stuff like I just love to post, then I'll just do it anyway. But after a certain amount of time, you're actually really paying for like a time period, which is actually what most brands already do.

Right. But they'll do like, hey, four months. Right. They'll do four months. Yeah. And I'll just be like, okay, well, it's most likely five days. So it came from a brand thing, but now you're kind of stuck with this. Like even if you post something, like your pod, new pod clips, you're still keeping only one.

I'm keeping only one, but thankfully the... Oh, the real page. The real page is separate now. And I thought I would do more of like the archived stories thing like I did for like a year and a half. Yeah. I quickly realized that was just too much work for you. What do you mean the archived stories thing?

Like, you know, it shows you like the previous, like you could put story albums on your highlights. Highlights, that's it. Highlights. Yes. Dude, I know. It's bad. It's bad.

Okay, so you're doing highlight. I'm also getting suggested, like, boomer AI content now. Which, by the way, is like specifically... Like, where you don't know if it's AI or not? I know it's AI, but I know it's, like, designed to trick booms, right? Like, you see it, my dad's like, I can't believe this guy exploded into stars. I'm like, well, I mean, it's probably AI. You see this French Bulldog doing the doggie?

I was like, well, you know, I don't think it's... real. Yeah. But I'm getting suggested that. It's crazy how quickly they're on to. Oh, they know. Instagram related.

Your brothers, what's it called? The Reverse duel. Oh, camera duels? Camera duels. It's awesome. Which I've had many feelings about over the years. I feel like it's a bit controversial. Apparently, yeah.

People do find that. It's, okay. So Cole has an Instagram account where he will film fans or whatever, filming him. And he's kind of like, It's kind of like a... Like I see you. Yeah, I see you.

Sometimes I feel bad for them. I wouldn't. Right. A lot of people think that. Well, I wouldn't because they also like, I've had people come up to me not knowing that I have nothing to do with that account. And they're being like, I took a picture of you so that you could get me on camera deals. And I was like, oh, well, I hate to bring it to you. You just took a picture of me mid bite.

Wait. Oh, my God. So there is that aspect of it too. They have an ulterior motive now. They do. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot.

I mean, I'm sure there's some that don't. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure there's a lot of them that do. They think they could get IG famous. Yeah. So you love that account. I think it's funny. Yeah.

I think it's funny. I know that a lot of, when Coles started that account, there was like a large amount of people in the industry who had reached out to him and been like, this is really validated. They could relate. Yeah.

They found it very, like, validating because there is like an invasiveness to it, I think. But I don't ever think it comes from a place of like maliciousness, You know? Yeah. It just comes maybe like there are more, there are like better ways to go about it.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think, I think like it comes from a place of, I think it comes from a place of weirdly kindness and maybe I'm an optimist because they go, oh, I don't want to intrude on their day, but I do want to have this thing that I remember seeing him by. So I'm going to do it secretly, which in its own way is kind of invasive.

Yeah. Would you prefer to, like, do you mind it to be approached? No, not at all. Yeah, okay. But also, like, my brother and I lucked out in terms of our audience base, right? Because no one is like, and I've said this before, but no one is really, like, weird to us because we're just kind of like, we almost remind them of a family member 10 years ago, right? So they're not like, they're not coming up and being aggressive or weird.

Cole's gotten it different than I have after Riverdale for sure. But when people see me, they're like, oh my God, bro, like, let me get you a beer. And I'm like, yes. It's not a toxic fandom. No. Right. No. It's like a wholesome.

It's like families. Yeah. Did you imagine being weird about that? No, I'm in the jam. You're talking to like a 15-year-old and her dad? Wait, do you guys get confused? Like you were saying during Riverdale, Cole was getting kind of more of that. Would people think you were him?

Like, I haven't seen you in the same room. Yeah. But, like, how similar looking are you really? It goes like this. Twins are really weird. Okay. Because we'll have periods, especially identical, but we'll have periods where we look very alike.

Like, people right now are telling us it's one of those periods. Okay. Where we look very alike. But then there'll be periods of time where we are very different looking. And it's not only, you know, style or hair or whatever, it's actually face shape. Like, face shape will just look very different for a period of a year. Okay. Let's say.

But then we'll come back together. Right now, my favorite thing is that Cole is being asked a lot, or he's getting told congratulations for having a baby. And Cole is, you know, he's in the city like, ugh. It's just my favorite. Like, what is that? At a growl? No, he's just like, I'm not having a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's going to get, he's going to get phoma. And you love that for him? I think it's hilarious. You love it. Well, how are you the same, like personality? I mean, we were raised in the exact same environment, doing the exact same thing at the same time, all of our lives. So that'll make you pretty alike. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like sense of humor and stuff. A sense of humor is definitely a line. Yeah. Like, Cole and I have definitely like some of the weirdest humor algorithms on any social media. Like, they are very strange.

You send each other. Oh, it's the weirdest, strangest shit. And I'll like even my co-host on the podcast, Brendan, like, I'll send him the same stuff. I'm sending Nicole. He's like, Dylan, this is really strange. seek help. Like what kind of stuff? Give us an example. I don't know when this happened. But do you remember years ago, like, when you said meme, you had, like, advice raptor or advice dog and, like, Philoso Raptor and things like, I can't have cheeseburger? Like, okay, it's dumb. But that was where it started.

Uh-huh. Nowadays, they, the algorithm can perfectly find a meme that feels like it's exploits. restly designed for your sense of humor. Yes. And it's very strange to the point where I'm like, there are others out there like me who think this is funny. It's just a picture of a moth saying lamp, you know? Like I'm like, this is insane.

That can't really be, I don't know. Like you thought you might be more original. I thought it was more original. I'm definitely not. So Brendan is your best friend. He's my best friend. And you have the podcast together. But still, you still have the special brother.

bond. For sure. And you were born before. I was born 15 minutes before Cole, yeah. Do you use that? It was the best 15 minutes in my life. No, he's, uh... Are you older? I am older. Yeah. Which, by the way, 15 minutes is long and mommy time, I think. Right. That's like long and twin time. Yeah, yeah. Normally twins are born within minutes of each other, 15. Like, if you're pushing double digits, it's not, it's not a good vibe. Like maybe there was some worry in the room. I don't know. I think Cole was just cozy. He finally has on space. Yeah. He didn't want to come out.

Yeah. This is like not a nice joke, but I tell him that he was like the longer he was in there, the more evil he became. So. Well, I just saw your pod clip, which I've been loving because my Instagram also knew you were coming on. So I've been seeing them all. And I love them all. Did you start to get my memes?

My like funny, weird humor memes? I'm going to send you some after this. Send me one and then my algorithm. Yeah. You understand. But I saw Barbara was on, right? the podcast called Wild Men. It is.

Barbara was on and KJ was on. Yeah. And I loved both of your conversations. When KJ was on, you talked about, I mean, you're getting people to really open up. KJ is a good friend of mine. How did you become friends? Because they were filming Riverdale in Canada. Did you go often?

I didn't go very often, but they came back from Vancouver often because Vancouver was like, Vancouver is like one of the most beautiful places in the world, but it's like not a fun place to be. Okay. And like no hate to people from Vancouver, but like it's... In the winters, in the winters especially. Honestly, in the summers, like, you have like two good, really good months in Vancouver, but it's the rest of the time, it's, I think it's on the same, I don't know if it's longitude

or latitude or whatever it is, but it's on the same longitude or latitude as like the UK. So it's pretty gloomy and rainy, and the seasons can be pretty hard there, and it can be pretty depressive. So I know a lot of the, a lot of the cast and crew, any opportunity they get, they would come back to L.A. Because it's close. It's like a quick flight. I think it's like a three, four hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got to hang out a lot. You became close. Yeah. And KJ. and I became friends obviously through Cole. But KJ. was also very like, he was really kind of my brother's brother while there, you know. And so as his brother, I was like, okay, naturally, I think we're going to get along. and you're also like kind of taking care of him and watching his back, which was always nice.

Did you ever get like competitive over friends? No. Like if your friend became his friend kind of vibe? Not really. Like is Brendan only your friend? No, no. I think that's been like part of the joy is seeing them become friends. Like we, we Cole as well as myself and Brendan were all at NYU together.

Okay. For, you know, four years. Brendan tried to drop out and not graduate, but it didn't work. His parents dragged him back to the graduation. It was quite funny. Wait, you went there. What year were you at NYU? We were class of 2015.

You know what's funny on your Wikipedia? You know how it says year is active? Mm-hmm. And most people, it's like from when they started till now. Yeah. And for you, did you know this? No. It's like, Year's active, 1993 till 2011 or something.

12, yeah. And then 217 and on. That's so funny they said I took a hiatus. Yeah, you took a hiatus, according to Wikipedia. I mean, I mean, that's true. Is that college years? Like, what is that? Okay.

That's college. I made a very concerted effort that I did not want to act really at all during the college experience. Just because I also am too dumb to micromanage all of that at the same time. Yeah. But, you know, we were in class with other actors and actresses and who were working. And I don't even know if they still graduated. Wait, but you did video games, no? Yeah.

That sounds, I don't think I've ever heard of anyone that went to school for that. I love it. I was actually talking about it on the way over here. I just think it's my preferred medium of entertainment in general, just for me, personally. And I still have a dream of, you know, maybe putting a nest egg aside and producing and making games. It hasn't come to light. Do you know, like, is that what you learn, like how to design video games? Yeah, how to design games.

And I also think that, well, so I double minored in. creative writing and also studio art too. So it was really like art direction, game design, and that kind of thing. Which I really still love and I think games are like my number one hobby. You play a lot.

I play a lot. Like the same way people watch TV and movies and they binge it, I just play video. Does that annoy your wife? No, she like very early on understood that this was my previous love and that she was coming along for the ride with it. sports part of your life? Only the Dodgers.

That's... Baseball. Baseball. Yeah, only the Dodgers. Okay. But Barbara's actually a gamer herself. And she's... A gamer? Yeah, she is. But kind of, uh, more so, like her and her sister are very into board games, traditional card games, tabletop games. And so naturally, that eventually translated into video games when I would like try to show them some things. And they were like, oh, this game's really fun. And they would co-op it together. And so,

it's been cool to see that too. So does she play with you, like against you? We, you know, the games, we normally play like couch co-op games together. Like I think the one of them is it takes two and then there's this other one that they release, which I'm sadly forgetting the name of now. But we love those. Every time that there's like a new co-op story mode game, we have a lot of fun playing. We'll be right back after the break. Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. my Leo is getting old. And Leo, okay, Leo, my dog that you should all know about. And sometimes you're like, you have a dog, who's out on your carpet?

Lenny? No, Leo, okay, he's getting older. We're in denial. We're Googling things. Is this normal or his eyes about to pop out of their socket? Like, it gets stressful when dogs age and also when dogs get sick because it happens suddenly. It's always when you least expected and it's always when it's really not the right time for you. Okay.

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This is the paid advertisement insurance. It's a independent of American insurance company or United States Fire Insurance Company, and produced by BTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is non-insured, it's not engaged in the business of insurance. I am obsessed with my sponsors, but I also am obsessed when it happens in the most organic way, which is I become obsessed with the product.

They notice I'm obsessed with the product. They reach out to me and they're like, can we support your show and do this for realzies? And I'm like, sure, I've been doing it not for realzies. So I would love to make it for realzies. You know what I mean? Like that's just, chef's kiss and that's what just makes me the happiest.

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First, you're getting your protein right from the egg white. They're low-in carbs, like super, like maybe one. And it's just clean. It's literally like an egg white, okay? Things I love to put in them yesterday last night. I had some rotisserie chicken. I put a little bit of light mayo, a little bit of chicken. Tomatoes, avocado, wrapped it up, sarache on top.

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So I ate it with my egg life pasta. And guess what? so freaking good. Egg life, egg white wraps make it easy to sneak in high quality protein into your favorite meals and snacks. Find Egg Life chilling in the refrigerator section. Aldi Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit Egglife Foods.com to find a retailer near you and tag me so I can see what you cook up. Just don't know how many times I need to tell you. Nutraful. Nutraful. It actually really helped me. I actually really started taking it after I had Noah. I was. was a little late then to the game because I had just started hearing about it.

I did give birth to 2020. And then I remember even sliding into people that I follow DMs after they would post about Nutraful and show their fab hair. And I used to be like, does that really work? Because I always thought, like, I have thick here. So, like, I don't care about the postpartum shed. Got nothing on me. And then the postpartum shed starts happening in places you don't necessarily want it to happen.

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My body too, okay, but it's like coming in third. I'm now realizing like, you know, if a medication would be like, hair loss, face shrinking, I'd be like, don't love that for me. keep my hair in my face. Okay, you know what I mean? You guys get what I'm saying. You guys get between the line. So hair is super important to me, and that's why I take Nutrafol.

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Neutral.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L-com promo code, NotS-Ginny 10. And we're back. So you slid into her DMs? I didn't. That's like a weird... Wait, that's made up? Well, I did, but the myth is that, like, people think that's how we met.

Oh, okay. And it's not. No, we met in person. We met in person at the Harper's Bazaar icons party. and she cut me in line for the red carpet. Okay. And she, like, I was waiting for the step and repeat for like 10 minutes because it was a big line.

And I'm like... Yeah, people, this is important information. I love people to know this. When you guys see pictures of celebrities on carpets and you're like so fancy, so glam, there is a line. Yeah, you've been waiting for a minute. That, personally, I can't know how you feel. Yeah.

It feels so desperate. No, it's so, it feels. It feels like... Disgusting to be on that mind. Yeah, it feels gross. It feels like I'm waiting. There's also like there's an impending imposter syndrome when you get up to the front of the line for everybody. Right.

It's all communal because you get up there. They say your name. Someone waves the car. They go, this is a... Wait. Wait, wait. By the way, that's also important for you guys to know. When you see that they're yelling somebody's name, I mean, obviously you're very well known.

But if you see an influencer or somebody that you're like, wait, How do 17 photographers just know who this, but they are told who this. And by the way, they might not even know people that we know. 100%. This is their job. Yeah. They get a card. So that's why you have 20, you know, photographers screaming your name.

So you get there, you're waiting in line. You cut her in line or she cut you? I was up at the front of the line and totally like a rom-com. She just jumps over the red velvet divider. and cuts me. And I was like, I don't care how pretty you are. You're not cutting me.

And I was wearing a red and white stripe button down and she turns around. I don't care how pretty you are, young lady. And she turns around and I'm wearing this red and white striped shirt. And she goes, what are you a hot dog vendor? And I was just immediately in love. Like, it was that simple. You love that she, that was her comeback. Bantor, dude.

Yeah. I was talking about this recently on the pod too, but I think on the KJ episode, but I was like, I really think humor is the key to a really positive long-term relationship. Because if you can't laugh at the same stuff, it's like, I don't even know what it would be like without.

I honestly, I don't have the experience because I just need to be with someone who makes me laugh. I don't think that I could manage it any other way. Like when I'm sitting at a dinner table with Barbara and we're like laughing about something and I can see a couple who's like sitting down in complete silence. I'm like, what do you do you do you still,

do you still have sex when you get home? Like, what, like, is it fun? Is it bad? Like, what do you do? Well, my question was going to be, because I thought you slid in. I thought that's how you meant. I did message her eventually. Okay, so you met, she says hot dog vendor, does it continue? Yeah, we ended up at the

like bar by happenstance after our little banter exchange and, and, you know, we had some more bans. and then I told her I was like, hey, you know, I've been here for 15 minutes, probably too long. I don't know if you're from out here, but I'll wait for the door for me. Wait by the door. As a joke, I said that. I was like, wait by the door and I'll come say goodbye.

And she goes, yeah, I'll be there. And then the next day I messager, I said, hey, I know you said you're from hungry, but if you're out in New York for a minute, I'd love to grab a beer or coffee with you and maybe we can hang out and, you know, talk some more shit together. and she goes, hey, I'm still here by the door. Are you coming or not? And I was like, dude, I'm so in. Oh, my God. She's so cool. She's the best.

But we were also both freshly out of relationships at that time. And it took us about probably about seven months to really get together. And there was a big period of time where we just didn't talk to each other. Just because, like, I was busy and she was busy with her life. And it didn't really happen. but we ended up having our first date in China, believe it or not. Because you were both there? I was filming out in Beijing and she had a campaign shoot.

And so that's like where I really want to go for our five-year anniversary, which is just we want to go back to Beijing. A five-year wedding? Yeah. Because you've been together since, was 2018 when you met? 2018 is when we met her started dating. I don't know. Barbara hates that I don't know exactly.

But it's been a while now. It's been like almost 10 years. That's so. Right. Yeah. So it's been a long time. And so you were 24, 25. Crazy.

Yeah. To get into your like, you know. The other thing that I think is. I have a relationship at that age. For sure. But it's one of those like when you know, you know. Yeah. Also like, come on.

This is one of the things I say too where I'm like, dude, what was I going to do? I'm not going to get better than bar. Like, let's be, let's be like very pragmatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's be very pragmatic. Like, my ancestors, yeah, bro, like my ancestors and my bloodline would have, like, cursed me if I didn't make the best of what I got, you know? I was like, I was shooting way above my pay grade.

Yeah, which, because when I thought that you just slid in and you had no previous, like, meeting, then I was like, wow, like the balls on you. you. No. And I was also going to ask if you were then surprised that she is the way she is because like models, you know, they get kind of stereotyped into, you know. You know what is funny that kind of that you mentioned that because in their period of like not really speaking before we actually started dating, I had met kind of some of her friends who we had like mutual friends with at some point just randomly here and there and they would, you know, find out I'm single and they would go, hey, you know what, I have this friend who's

single who I really think you should talk to. And it was always Barbara. So people thought you were a fit. People thought we were a fit even after we had met. They were like, oh. And in China, this is a funny thing because people joke a lot that we look very alike. Yes. Do you see it? Yeah, I see it for sure. We're both narcissists. Yeah, you're like, she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm just looking at me. Looking in the mirror. No, I think it's actually like rude to say that we look alike because it's, again, it's one of those things where it's like, come on. She's like. She's like, she's always been, by the way, not that, you know, anyone needs my opinion.

But for me personally, pre Dylan and Barbara, I've always been like such a stand of her. She's amazing. And just like her beauty and how like different she is in the landscape of models. And I've always been obsessed with the way she looks. Yeah, by the way. Now I know she's cool, too. That's the thing is that people are like, they look alike. I'm like, guys, you're talking about a woman who's so beautiful.

She's on like empirical lists for being like a beauty stand. No one's looking at Dylan Trous and being like, God damn, that's the crem de la creme. I'm like, come on, get real. Can you stop self-deprecating? Look, it's my love language, so I'll never be able to. But do you know, they just thought about it the other day, like, it is the funniest. like I will always laugh at that. Like I think it's so funny, but I feel like I do it too often to make other people laugh.

And like, then what are we doing? I still think deep down you think you're awesome, though. Like I can tell. Yeah, I can tell. I know I'm awesome too. Okay. So is it acceptable then to like hate on ourselves all day? You know when it's like, I think when you talk to people who are really self-deprecating,

you know when it's like legit. Right. They hate themselves. Right. And that's sad. And I don't like I have friends like that. think then it's your kind of your moral responsibility is your buddy to be like, hey, you're fucking awesome.

Yeah. And, you know, I don't like hearing you talk about yourself that way. But when it's funny, it's like in this case, I mean, like, again, come on. She's Barbara Palvin and I'm like, I'm Dylan Spraiser. Mind you, like, again, when I shape up, I can be a nine. Yeah. But that's on a really, really good day. Barbara's cranking a 10.

Wait, do you still, though, wake up every morning? with that feeling. For sure. Like, how did I score this? For sure. I mean, we're also 10 years in. Right. So, yes, of course I do.

But at the same time, like, part of the joy for me is that it's become so much more casual. Right. Right. Like, in the beginning of dating anybody, you're kind of like, oh, my gosh. Like, I can't wait to show you my things and do this. But, like, we've had that, too.

But Barbara and I's shorthand with everything now is like, we're like an old married couple. Do you have a nickname for her? or is it Barbara all the time? I don't ever call her Barbara. I call her baby. Yeah. It's kind of like, you know, cliche, but.

And now you're having a baby. What a nice transition. I know. You're having a baby. I loved the reveal. It's cute. Well, I mean like the pregnancy reveal. Yeah.

That was that a decision that you guys kind of made? Full Barbara's decision. Yeah. Full Barbara's decision. It was exciting. It was cool. It was very cool. And I mean, she just looked so beautiful.

and I think it was such a big, like... Did she wear pink or blue? I can't remember... She wore both. On perp? On perp. On perp. Did you guys know at that point what it was?

We did. Yeah, we weren't really like... We weren't ever really trying to be like, you know, one of those. I think as Californian, you've experienced so many fires started by gender reveals. You're just kind of like, no, we should just learn the gender. Wait, so you just got the call from the doctor and, like, you were both on the phone? We just did the... We did the thing.

For sound. Yeah, we did. Well, we had, like, been going... up through the steps at that point. What's actually funny, and I don't think I've said this before, but I'll, you know, set the record now, you know, we talking about it's always kind of gross because you're just like, I'm having suck with my wife. Like, people are always like, dude, we're trying.

Like, we're conceiving. Right, right. Like, nah, you guys are just having to. Yeah. And sometimes you get into it. You're like, so you were conceived and it's like, no, that means literally your parents were boning. Yeah, that's pretty much like you want to boil it down all you like.

But it would happen like right after New Year's, which is. funny. Like the day of New Year's we like we kind of found out or no the on the second. So she found out when she was like we had an inkling. Yeah. It was one of those things too, which is also kind of gross where you both kind of like that's the one, that's the one. So you know like what yeah when it happened. But I liked how you did the reveal to for the gender because you just kind of did it on your pod. I think it's kind of funny how people are just like they You want to make big things out of everything. I'm like, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Maybe I'm not formulating this correctly, but I'm like, just talk about it. I don't know. Yeah. No, we did a number of ultrasounds and then you do your blood work. And then the blood work can tell you. Oh, the nip, the nips. Yes.

So that's what told us. And then we were just like, let's just look and fly out. Oh, so that's what I mean, that moment. Because I think the gender reveal of it all, which I'm guilty of doing. But if I had another kid, I wouldn't do it. Did you do like the balloon or like the... No, I did a cake. Oh, the cakes.

It's anti-climactic no matter how you cut. You know, you're cutting the cake and you're like looking for the candy. It doesn't like pour out. Oh, wait. So I just imagine that the cake was like the color of the baby. No, because you want, no, you give the cake place the envelope from the doctor. What? Yes.

Well, I believe if you're doing it, then do it for real when you're surprised. They're people that fake do it. Like they know. And then they want that moment. Oh, that's weird. Right. I want like, they know, I don't know. I cut it.

It comes out. I find out. But if I had another baby, then I would do just that. But I just feel like I get what you're saying people make a big thing out of the things that whatever. No, in California, like, it's especially bad. And it's like, so it's, so it's a girl. I mean, I guess that's exciting. No, we like opened the thing together.

Like we like sat down and we were like, oh, who's chick. And obviously our hearts were like pounding. And the way that it was designed is you could look at like the online thing and you have to click whether you're interested in seeing the gender. Oh. And then we clicked in. We clicked yes and it said, get ready. What do you think? So it was kind of a reveal, but it was just like.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was kind of a reveal, but it was just online. How excited were you that it's a girl? I'm extremely excited. It's a girl, I think. This is the first, this is like the first Spouse girl. born in very long time. Oh.

Yeah, so we have a very small family in general, but this is the first Sprouse girl in a very long time, which makes me nervous because I come from a family of just boys, basically. So my dad can't really help me understand this. Barbara, obviously, our family can. Are they in Hungary? In Hungary. Actually, her sister lives out here, though, in New York,

who I'm staying with right now. And so we have, like, that infrastructure. But in terms of like raising a baby girl, I am completely unknown to me. However, I'm very excited because all my buddies who have boys seem like they're undergoing like a traumatic experience. I have boys. It's a true statement. Yeah. And they do say like girls can be easier, chiller, sleep better, all the things. I'm excited because I genuinely love tea parties.

Like I am an authentic fan of the high tea experience. You're going to have to wait a little for that. It's like that. Like she's like a newborn. You're like, so when am I going to bring those out? Wait, but. Get your stuff to animals. I saw Barbara said she's excited for the girl because it will mellow you out.

Yeah. Are you on mellow? Not really. That's the funny thing. I think that's like a, it's kind of a fortarian joke. Yeah. That's a term that we use on Wild Men. Okay.

Is that a part related? No, it's hard to explain. I'll send you a clip. I'll send you a meme about it. About Fartarian. I'm sure there's one online that's expressly designed for it. But it's the same way that like when we were, when we still are, we're in about eight months now. Oh my God, almost.

I know, ready to pop. Barbara's not happy that I'm in New York right now. I got to go back tomorrow. Okay. She's like, you decided to come on with a pod now. I am nesting. And you are not in the nest. Oh, that's a real thing.

And she wants to change the whole apartment and everything. Yeah. And I got to get to work. Baby-proofing. Yeah. I got to get to work baby-proofing hard. You guys, you don't need baby-proofing. It's a baby. They don't move for the first. And it's kind of like a potato for the first three months, right? Yeah, you don't need to baby-proof right now. Not you like baby-proofing and like pulling out the T-set when like it's not. Baby can't lift its head up.

Baby? I'm like, here, take the T. And stop going in the cabinets. I lock those up for you. Is that a thing? You got to lock the cabinets. Well, that's the baby-proofing part. Really? You got to like put a thing. because then they'll open it. That's bad for me because I love going in my cabinets. I love going in there. So I know you're excited, but are you worried about anything, how it's going to, like, change your life?

Or are you, are you ready as can be? I'm worried but excited, too. I think practically, I think it's, you know, it's obviously our first child. And we, I think that's like a load of work that you really can't expect what to do until you're kind of there. like you can read only so much and you can like hear are you reading for real. Yeah, we're reading right now.

Yeah. Oh, we are. Yeah, we both were like kind of like doing the same book. Like, oh, I've written this chapter and you read this chapter.

And you guys are so cute. We're cute. We're cute as heck, dude. Cute as heck. And people ship. People ship. You're like you're a power couple.

I guess, you know, like that's funny. But, you know, we really like to be mellow a lot, which is what like to the question again. like we spent a lot of the time just laying down and like eating Doritos and like watching stuff together.

She eats Doritos. That's really annoying. It's unfair. She can eat like stuff like that. It's actually it's really unfair. It's actually worth putting out of your mind. Like don't think about it. It's not fair. And I've decided it's not fair and I came to peace with it.

I decided it's not fair and I came to peace with it. But I could work out for a week and be like an Olympian. And I have to work my fucking ass off for a shred of muscle and no respect. We'll be right back after the break. You guys know how I'm always looking for ways to make life easier, especially on busy days when I'm recording, running around, chasing my kids, and trying to get 47,000 things done at once.

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it says everywhere, born in Italy, born in Italy, and then reading deeper into it, it's like you were there for what, six months? Yeah, my parents were over. So do you like that this is attached to your life? I do, yeah. Like. I will say, I mean, like, you know, Hungary and. like far in away Italy, if you haven't been, is just kind of the best European country to go to.

Italy. It is. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah. People want to talk about everywhere else. Dude, fuck it. And you're like, I was born there.

And I was born there. And we went back to our hometown where we were born. And I say hometown, but really Woodland Hills. Okay. So answer to my question, you fucking love it. I fucking love it. Answer, does he like that that's attached? Yes.

I will clarify. I will clarify because I think this is important. I do not call myself Italian, nor do I think I'm Italian. I'm not pretending that I'm Italian because I think far too often and something that irks me just outside of this. You could be Italian. I have no, have no, Nona in any of my Italian lineage. I have known Nona. Wait, so what are you? Mostly, here's what, but here's the, what I want to say. I'll tell you what I am. I'm California. And I'm California. And I'm California, because I think when you get brought up in a place, it affects the person that you are far more than your genetic lineage. I think like, dude, me going and hanging out with the El Camino Real Kids in fucking Dickies and high socks in Woodland Hills, California, is way more essential to my identity than like my genetic background. And funny enough, I was reading up like not long ago on like this thing and I was like, apparently Teddy Roosevelt has.

had a big, had a big, like, stance on this, which he called people, like, stop calling yourself hyphenated Americans and call yourself, blah, blah, blah, American. Exactly. Yeah. Just call yourself from where you're from. And I know that was like, that was politically charged and stuff, so I don't really necessarily agree with. But I did find it interesting than that was a thing even back then, right?

Where people were like, I'm actually much more related to my previous home than I'm related to, you know, Pennsylvania. Right. Really, you're probably just from Pennsylvania. You know what I mean? So I say I love being from Italy, but at the same time, I'm like, I'm kind of a valley brat. I'm not like, not much else. Right.

Well, what was the hometown? Is it like a place we'd know? It's a Retzzo is where we were born in, and it's in Toscana. Uh-huh. And when my brother and I first went back, like within the first 10 minutes, this girl runs up to us on the street and goes, oh, my God, you guys, like, you've not been here again since you were born, right? like, yeah. She goes, yeah, my grandmother delivered you. That's so funny.

So it's like, we were like, what? You're like, you're a Nona? Yeah, you're, wait, you have a Nona? I need one of those. Wow, that's crazy. I know. It's cute that you went back to visit. You lived there for what, six months?

Six months. And then we moved, for my dad's work, we moved to Switzerland, Lucerne, Switzerland, where we spent a lot more time, funny enough. So I have more memories from Lucerne. Actually, my first memory was pulling on the tail of a goat, and I got kicked by the goat over a fence. Are you scared of goats now? No, I love them. I think they're cool as hell.

Wait, how old were you that you remember that? Sub two. Yeah. First memory is getting kicked by a goat, though. I mean, it's pretty memorable. I wouldn't picture Switzerland as, like, the goat. Oh, it's beautiful rolling green hills and farmland and a lot of it. areas over there. Switzerland's like remarkably beautiful. So then Switzerland, so then when do you move

to California? When my mom and my dad were thinking about having a divorce, which they then acted on, I like to say they were thinking about it. No, they did. You know the timeline. Yeah, I think we're about like three, four. So around that time, my mom would fly back with us and we would literally fly to and from Burbank, California and like Switzerland, which was hard. And then my dad eventually moved back to California where, where, you know, we stayed. And then he raised you. From about 11 onward. From about 11 onward.

And my mom suffered from like a lot of different things. But it was largely drug induced. And she kind of like, there was a big custody battle around the time that we were 11, which is like conveniently when we were starting the sweet life, which was crazy. Do you remember like being aware that that was going on? Yeah, we did like the court appointed therapy and stuff. which was a huge bummer. It was just a drag.

Not like it was like, man, this really stinks. It was like one of the most boring things ever. A lady was like putting us asleep. Like driver's advice. And like, realize this is really hard. And we're like, yes.

At 11. At 11. Yeah. And you guys, you think you maybe didn't understand it fully too? For sure. Yeah. I mean, you're like,

what do you really understand at 11? Yeah, right. And I'm like, well, the geopolitical politics of this day and age, like I feel like I need a therapist. You're like, I want to go run outside. You're like, I'm actually in a very successful TV show.

You don't know it yet because it's not your age demographic, but maybe your kids would like the show. Well, could you imagine if that happened now? Like, the world would probably know about it. As in like the cussie battle and shit? Or like there was something was happening at home and whatever. And then like we didn't have social media. No one really knew about people's private lives. Cole spoke a little bit about like growing up with your father and stuff.

I'm really happy we like hit the generation, by the way, that was like just pre-social media. Yeah. I couldn't imagine. You couldn't imagine. There was stuff, right? There was what, J-14? What was going on at the time? Tiger beat.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Bop those things or whatever. Did you used to go on? Did you used to read about yourself? I wish I could find the like the collection of like the covers from the, cheesy magazines we were on.

Because they're actually like kitschy and cool. But they were nice, right? They weren't. No, they were never really like, they weren't like yellow media tablets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think.

They were just like funny and cute. It was like, look at all these cute new boys. That's like basically it's like, it was aimed at I think like young girls mostly. Yeah, yeah. Well, for sure. And also like,

were you aware at that time how many young girls had like crushes on you? Like were you aware of like? No chance. No. No, because also think about that that's the other divide, right? Because there's no real social media, what you're just like, you just go to work and then you go home. And then you can like maybe hear online or in public when someone says something to you.

But you're not like receiving a mass amount of feedback all the time. Right. Right. So is it able to be a little bit normal? I guess at that age, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were in public school up until about, like, high school. And then? And then set school, basically, like, fully.

You also had each other, which I feel like is a big difference with maybe other child actors. Yeah, it makes it so much. Yeah. To, like, do all this stuff together and have somebody to, like, lean on. 100%. But you talked about, like, which I feel like not many people talk about, that, like, you started acting at the age that you did, which was like, what's six?

months or being in stuff out of a need for money, right? Or did one of you said it? Yeah, I guess that's, I think it's, I mean, if you want to boil it down, it could definitely be that. We started acting at that age, and you can hardly call it acting. Right, I know. It's like drooling and farting, like, like, yeah. Right. Which I still do, but like, now I'm a pro.

Now I've been doing it for years. Well, being in stuff. Yeah. My mom and my dad were thinking about the divorce like we talked about. And then I think she very intelligently saw that there was this industry that was happening in California, which at that point in time, like, again, no social, no self-tapes. These weren't really a thing. Like, if you wanted to be an actor back in that day, you were basically hoffing it in California

or you were doing theater in another part of the world. And you were waiting in rooms with hundreds of other kids. Funny enough, I know. never remember being in the hundreds room, but like there was like five of the same kids you saw all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And unlike I think nowadays, where it's like you basically, I think casting agents can pick from a rolodex of people they think is exactly the person that they're casting.

Like back in the day, you had to be like, all right, today I'm a goblin. And you're like, okay, well, tomorrow I'm a sweetheart in my classroom. Like, you really had to put on more of a mask, I think. Nowadays, they don't require that much of you. and I think like the actors are cast definitely more to be like who they are. And we as kids, when we got into the industry, it was really a practical thing because kids can only work so many hours in child labor laws. But if you had the same baby, you could double your hours.

Yeah. So Twinsberg hired a lot. Did you ever connect with the Olson twins on your both being Twinsies? We did. But they were also like fully adorn. adults and we were, you know, like kiddos, right? I don't know the age difference. I think they're maybe like five years older than you.

They're not in their 40s, Dylan. What's the age? I think they're my age. I think they're 38. So they're seven years, six years older than you. Six years older. Which, by the way, when you're young, that's like a huge difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So have you met them? Yeah. Oh, okay. A long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're kind of like more than like New York legends. That's what's like. They aren't the row.

Yeah, dude. They're kind of like New York legends. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize that until I came out here and people were like, yeah, they rocked. Well, you could smoke Sigs together. That's for sure. For sure. Yeah.

For sure. I quit Sigs though and now I'm on this stupid thing. What the gums? The Vap. Oh, that is stupid. What flavor? I'm really glad, by the way, I'm married because if I had to be a single guy smoking this out and about, no, no, no, no.

Could you imagine how unattractive that is? Personally, it's an ick. It's an ick. A sig is way cooler. By the way, like, the jewel used to be sexy. Wait, wait, why did people quit the jewel? I think they're just the infrastructure died. I don't know.

I have no clue. Like, why? A jewel was cooler. And now everyone's with this. I know. Watermelon? Let me see. I don't know.

Oh, they did? They did? Not in California. Or maybe they did in California. This is sour strawberry. You want to puff? No, I don't. Wait, when Cole smoked Sigs, when he did the podcast,

uh, Call her Daddy podcast. Did you make fun of him? I thought it was sick as hell. I don't know. Wait. You should pay me. Yeah, wait, wait. That's the same thing.

Just the way, cooler version. So anyway. No, when he lit up that cigarette, I about died. Kind of sick. Yeah. Kind of sick. You were like, bro. Yeah.

What a move. Most validating, I'll tell you, like, I quit cigarettes after this one kind of legendary story, which I wanted to share with you. Yeah, okay. It's the only time I was ever. story. Ever starstruck in my life. Oh, is it? Okay. I'm ready. Okay. So I'm at Chateau Vermont and Barbara and I are there with some friends and we're like eating dinner. And behind me, I hear a voice which I just know is David Lynch. And I'm a massive David Lynch.

Huge director. Huge director. Yeah. Rest in peace. He passed away. Massive David Lynch fan. And I hear his like typical nasally voice. Like he's talking with someone. And I literally like froze. I was like, baby, I don't know why, but like I'm freaking out right now.

And I think David Lynch is behind me. And immediately I was like, yeah. And I was like, I don't know what to do. She was like, why don't you just go up and say hi? And I was like,

no, no, no, no. I want to see him like the great white buffalo, like out in the wild. I don't want to interrupt him. If anything, it was kind of camera. Dueless ask. But I wasn't going to ask for a picture. I was like, no, I just like. You were thinking of filming him.

I was just like, I love this guy, but I'm freaking out. And I turn around. And sure enough, it's David Lynch and he's sitting across from Laura Dern. And I was, I was smoking cigarettes at the time. And I was like, fuck, I need to go get a cigarette. She's like, I think you should just go up and say hi to one. And I was like, no, I really don't want to. I'm just going to go have a cigarette. So I'm out there and I go to light up my cigarette. And like a minute later, David Lynch walks into the smoking section. There's a smoking section?

At Chateau, yeah. Really? Inside? No, it's in the bar portion that's outside. Oh. But David walks in and he goes, excuse me, young man. Do you happen to have a cigarette? And I was like, yeah.

Give him the cigarette. It's like, do you have and have a light? I went, anything? You know? I gave him one. He goes, thank you very much.

He walks over to the corner of the smoking section and he sits down and he's smoking it. And then about like a beat later, Laura Dern walks in and sits down across from him. She goes, do you mind if I?

And he goes, sure. He pulls out of his pocket, fresh pack of cigarettes. Hands are one. She's like, can you light it from him? He goes, yep. He lights for a cigarette for her. I was like, what?

And so they finished smoking and I'm thinking about it the whole time. And then, you know, they get up and David walks out and he goes, I just want to tell you, you're very polite. Thank you. And he walked out. That made you want to quit smoking? And maybe you want to quit smoking.

And I'll tell you why. Because I'll never have a better cigarette than that in my entire life. Because what he did for me. Why did he do that? He gave me the most elegant understanding of how to approach someone that's fan-grilling over you, You think so? 100%. You think he noticed?

I think he's one of the smartest guys, and I think he noticed and he knew. That's why he had a fresh pack of cigarettes. He had a lighter. I can just imagine you that night. I was elated, and he gave me a story that is better than any picture, any autograph, anything. He gave me what I'm telling you now. And to this day, I was like, I mean, I think it's still one of the most eligible. eloquent, tasteful ways of doing that for someone that you know is a fan of you.

And I immediately started smoking the geek bars after. That I don't get. I was like, fuck you. It's over. Okay. Dylan, I am obsessed with this story. However, and I could totally picture you like that night just like not being able to fall asleep, just replaying that in your head.

However, however, again, it would not. make me be like, cigarettes are so powerful for like connection. And I'll just keep on going. I don't get the same vibe with the vape. Like, could you imagine if that story was told through the lens of having a geek bar? This is sour strawberry. Yeah, would you like? You won't want mango?

By the way, I get grossed out when people, do you, you don't mind sharing? I mean, I'm an identical twin. I think you got to just share fucking everything for your entire life. It's pretty hard to be grossed out by anything. Wait, so you really quit smoking after that? I quit cigarettes after that. You quit cigarettes after that because of what you just said. Well, you know, and I love like my brother to death, and I'm going to rep on him a little bit.

But like after not smoking cigarettes the way that I did, I picked it up while I was in China because I will say like cigarettes are dope as hell in China and they, you can smoke them anywhere. You can smoke them inside while you're eating. What's different about them? I think they're just like sick quality and the packaging is really nice too. And they're like, aren't people dying on the packaging or there are? They're not allowed to do the dying thing on the... Really?

I don't know if they're not allowed. I think it's just that they just don't have it. Wait, so China wasn't that long ago. When was China? China was, uh, no, it was long ago now. It was about like eight years ago now. Yeah, but child actors, I could see you starting to smoke at 14. Yeah, I know.

That was in the trajectory. I'm afraid I didn't. I just smoked foods like you in the B-ball court. Wait, so... Bad joke. I know. SIG is out. I'm getting it.

Wait, so, okay, so started Sigs in 2018. Oh, Cole, you were going to say something about... Oh, yeah, like, after being off the cigarettes for so long, like smelling my brother is stinky. Like, he is actually... Like, cigarettes make you stink. And, like, it's just... By the way, they're 10 times sexier than this thing.

Yeah. Ten times sexy. But that doesn't stink. But it doesn't stink. Yeah. And I also feel like I could, like, if I needed to hit a treadmill, which I really don't ever want to. But if I needed to...

You would be able to breathe better. I feel like I would still be able to breathe better. I don't know. I know. It's all bad. First off, it's not as good as not doing it. Right. But you just need like an oral fixation kind of vibe.

Well, I don't know exactly what that means. It sounds sexual, but. Like to chew something, have something in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Well, but because, okay. I call it the pacifier because it is kind of like a pacifier. But think about it.

Like, would you like, because people that get addicted to nicotine, then would just like take the gum. But like the gum. I've tried the gum. Yeah. And I've tried like a patch once because my buddy was like, check this. Oh, yeah.

That shit's like rocket fuel. It feels weird. I was, I was anxious. People actually. It's like 10 times in earlier. Really? Yeah, because it's also designed for people who are like three packs a day. I'm like, dude, I'm just puffing this every once in a while.

Right. Which I do have to kick the habit obviously before the baby comes. Oh, you're going to? I'm going to try. You know what I want to try? I had a buddy who did the hypnotism thing and it worked. Oh, there's a guy in California. Yeah.

You know that guy? I'm going to meet up with him. But I'm also free. No, do you know the guy? No. Well, you send it to me? Like all the celebs talk about him He has like a garage in like Santa Monica

I don't want to go to get hypnotized in a garage That's not scary He's like the celebrity He gets you to kick everything Sugar Cigarettes all of it I don't want to kick sugar I just want to kick nicotine

He doesn't like make it You request what you want to get Dude that would be like a fucked up thing Like you wake up from the hypnotism You're like no I just checkmarked cigarettes Now I don't fuck with cake anymore What are you talking about bro? I can't have a

cookie. I need to remember his name for you. Okay, before you go, even though I'm having so much fun, this has been a silly fun ride. Right? And I do want to say this because I talk to a lot of people, not everyone's so fun. Not everyone's so conversationalist, you know what I mean? And like, it's so fun to have someone here that the time flies that like has a conversation that has things to say that isn't just answering a question. And you're going to, I'm finishing up the compliment. And make sense, you would, it makes sense you would start a pod because you have lots of things to say. I was going to say, you're such a veteran at this that it means a lot that you would say that. And now I'm starting to understand because of that, because we're starting to

have guests on and because I understand intimately what you mean by having. So what kind of guests do you want to have on Wild Men? Is it going to be celebs or friends or a mix or? I think it's, you know, it's been tough because I think like, I realized recently that the most annoying thing to do is to try and explain the podcast to people because you're like, here's my elevator pitch of me talking to my friend. Right. Like, what the fuck? And you called it Wildman, which does maybe feel like it would be. That's their, that was actually our friend group's group chat name. Oh, okay.

So I think what the real mission statement is to be like, you're invited in to hang out with the chat and just. the shit as friends, which I think, thankfully, we've been, we've been doing okay so far. I think in an ideal world, it'd be like 50-50 split between Brendan and I just chatting because all the silly shit that you and I are talking about now, like, that's our like standard. Yeah. You're just running with the stupidest riffs. Well, that's what's fun about pods. Like, people just want to listen to people have, like, a intriguing conversation,

not necessarily like a fucking 60 minutes. I'm going to ask you the thing that, like, you were most in the headlines about before we, before I let you go. We got to talk about this home invasion. Oh, yeah. Which I do love that you have a pod because I feel like we're getting to know more of your personality. And like you're talking about all these things that like, I feel like people would think you wouldn't want to talk about for some reason. But you're like, you're just saying it kind of all there. So if you guys want to get that, check out his pod, Wildman.

But for people that haven't listened to you clearing up the home invasion. Yeah. Rumors. Can you give us a brief? Yeah. What's the best rundown to give? I was lying on the couch and I heard a guy like at the door, which I thought was my dad. And by the way, I was like.

Does your dad just show up? I was just like chill maxing on the couch. Please don't use maxing. Chill maxing, dude. It was fart maxing on the couch. Bloat maxing. And I was just fucking like playing games. I was a video game maxing.

Now that you said, I should. I'm going to ironically use it the shit out. Ironically, I'm okay with it. I don't. Is there any other way to do it? Yeah. But you, I don't think.

The real influencer way. I don't think anybody's really doing it. People are maxing for real. Right? People are legit. You think? Yeah. Have you met someone who's legit maxing?

Met in real life? Someone's legit maxing out there? Someone's IRL maxing for, yes. People are not using it ironically. I thought it was all like silly. No, but I love that. I allow it. I mean.

Okay. So you're maxing out. Yeah, I'm on the couch and I'm lying down and I'm playing video games, which is crazy because if you were to look through the window, like, there's definitely a lazy guy on the couch playing video games. So he just like was not aware of his surroundings, I think. Well, actually, I know. So he goes to open the front door and I was like, what the fuck?

And it's because it's midnight. And I'm like, who's there? And he goes, it's me. It's like a, it's like a cartoon. We can, I need a second. Couch is what, door is here? Is door downstairs? How do I explain?

Okay, I'm on the couch now. Yeah. All right? Yeah. Front doors over there. Okay. But it's around this little bend. Wait, who's there?

It's me. It's me. Crazy thing to say. Bro, because there was a second he almost got me where I was like, no shit, dog, come on in. Like, he almost got me. Wait. Because by the way, that's like, it's a cool thing to say.

No, that's genius. Wait, who's there? It's me. I'm dying. And I go, I don't know. And it's me. And so I run upstairs. And Barbara had just, like, gotten into bed for the night.

And I'm like, there's someone at the door. I grabbed the 1911 Kimber and I go, clack, clack. It felt tough as hell. Wait, that's a gun. Yeah. Okay. That you have locked away? I don't play when it comes to, like, Barbara's safety.

Yeah. That's like one thing. Well, you can, you know, you can attack me all you fucking want. But Barba's had so many friends. who have subsequently told me stories of them like being alone and having a home invasion scenario. The first thing I did was buy a gun.

Okay. So, I know some people are like not cool with it. Actually, though, speaking of your home invasion, I didn't see people, you know, once there's a situation like this, people are not quick to judge that. I don't think it gets politicized in this case because no matter what side of the fence you're on,

I think you want to see Barbara protected. That's like, that's what I actually believe. Yeah. The world is like, all right, we can shake hands on this. I love that. Wait, okay, so you go upstairs, you realize it's a rando. And I go down and I timed it. I was out the door in 20 seconds.

Let's go. I high-fived myself there because it is sick as hell. No, it was sick. Wait, but tell me the whole thing. You run down with the gun. Run down. And at this point in time, I think he had decided he was going to try and go. But he ended up walking the wrong direction because I think he was tweaking.

I actually know he was. but he was tweaking and he walked towards the garage area of my house and he kind of got stuck in this area like a raccoon

he was like whoa what do I do now and so I'm like going out the door and I'm peeping because I don't know if he's armed or anything at this time

and I was like who's there and I can hear him from the garage go nobody which is like some real odyssey type shit dude

like no he just fucking tried to Odysseus me I'm gonna I haven't seen it yet. I'm gonna Paula Femis' ass.

Wait. He tries. Nobody. So he, uh, I was like, hey, come around the corner. I have a gun. Come out from where you are. Keep your hands, where I can see them. When he walks around the corner, he's got a cigarette and a longboard skateboard in his

hand. And immediately I was like, okay, not a threat. Well, the dude's just like, this guy's from Santa Monica. Like, he's just, he's just high as fuck. Yeah. You know, and that was, that was pretty much, I forgot what they called. it. I've tried to say it before, but Brendan always corrects me. I think it's optical

pat down or like a tactical assessment with your eyes. You're like, is he a threat? Bebe, beep, beep, beep. Not a threat. So not a threat. So was the gun like... Gun was raised. Because I don't fuck with that. I'm like, you're still on my property. Did he clock that? He clocked it.

He clocked it. And was he like... Yeah, for sure. I was like, hey, carry your things out exactly as a walk in front of me. I'm going to walk you outside of my property. And he did. And he complied. And he was like really compliant. Obviously he was super mellow. So I felt like, do you want to come in and play video games? Yeah, bro. I was like, bro, you're just high. You need a place to chill, bro. But I walked him out.

I didn't tackle the guy. And I said this on the pod. Wait, so that, okay, the tackling was the headline. How did it get to the news people? Well, I'll tell you. So. So yeah, so I go, this is a guy I hired. No. So, so coolest thing about this scenario is Barbizzo. up in the crow's nest looking out calling the police like, all right, he's got him. And I was like, it was such a, I think I joked about this, but it's like. That's when the baby was conceived. Yeah, it's a major, by the way, like a major,

like guys have a lot of icks, right, too. We just don't talk about him. Opposite of an egg. I think one big ick for guys is generally if shit's going down and your girl or your partner, whoever you're with is like, like freaking out about it, that would be something where you're like, fuck, okay, that's a bit of an ick. Unless it's really like a tsunami coming or something, then I get it.

But like if it's like a minor thing or if it's something that can get over and you just need like assistance and you need help, really freaking out about it. It's an ick for guys. And I think that she did majorly pass the test. I feel like it's the Hungarian and her. She's tough as nails. Yeah. She's tough as nails. But like also it would be an ick if you were like a pussy about it.

For sure. But it was the opposite of that. No, I think it was like if I was, also we have like a 30 pound cat. So like then if the guy did get in the house, he sees two like vape smoking fucking husband-wife combo with a 30-pound cat ready to like shred him to bits. I'm like that's the scariest house you can get into. I have a full suit of Viking armor by the door. Really? Yeah, I love that shit.

So I'm like ready. I'm like, could you imagine? Armored up. But how are you so prepared like this? 30 pound cat on my shoulder in full Viking armor. I'm fucking going after him, dude. It's the scariest sight. You got so many points for this.

Bro, the scariest thing, because someone said this to me, they're like, the scariest thing would be the sound at night when you hear, like, you enter into a home as an invader and you hear like the clack, clack of a shotgun, right? Yeah. But that's not actually the scariest thing. What's the scariest? The scariest sound would be me turning on my night vision goggles.

If you hear... That, you're heard. fucked, bro. Door locks automatically. Was this like your, like, did you feel like an adrenaline rush after? I did. And look, I'm joking with you a lot right now because- But it was scary. It's funny, but I'm joking because it's fun and that's like my way of always doing. But we're safe. And that's, I think, what really matters. First off, she's safe, even more so than me. I'm happy that my wife, my dog, and my cat are safe. That's what really

matters. It is scary. Hearing something like that happen is scary. I was thankful that it happened the way that it did, which was he was not a threat. Apparently he was on drugs, which we later found out. And he said it was PCP to me when I got him to show me what's in his bag or whatever the hell is. Because he had a fanny pack under his shirt, which I thought could contain a weapon. Oh my God. So I was like, hey, show me what that is. And it just had wires and like a poppers thing fell out of his bag and shit.

And I was like, all right. So he's definitely mellow. Barbara had called the police. police arrived. He was on the ground already. My neighbor had come out to assist me at this point as well. And the same time the police arrived, TMZ arrived. Wow.

I think police scanners. I think they're loaded up all over the city. So why did they think you tackled him? Because he was on the floor. I think so. I think so. And they, by the way, they ran with that and I was like not correcting them because that is cool. But then you did.

But then you think logistically and you got like a handgun. How are you tackling? it's like stupid I love it it's still a very good story it's fun it's a fun story but I'm just happy that everyone's safe and that's like really what matters and you know apparently there's been a lot more break-ins in that area of like where we live which I won't say but like there's there's like a ton of break-ins on the rise in California California's crime scenario is great right now so come to New York yeah I know it seems great here right now well they don't break in and doorman buildings.

Yeah, could you imagine? You're like, fuck, I gotta go to the 30th floor. You're like a guy. Get through this door, man. You have your cigarette, your longboard, you're like. But that is scary.

I mean, thank God you were home and like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It is, it is scary. Yeah, we've definitely amped up the security on our space a little bit. Good. A little bit too.

So, and actually ring camera reached out. I was just going to ask. Do you have it on video? So I do. I do have it on video. The ring cameras that we have were not pulled out at the door. I know. It's pretty funny because I think I probably should. I downloaded it to my phone.

You able to see everything? Not everything. There was like one dead spot, but 90% of it. Yeah, it's pretty funny. The guy comes up and he goes, you know, he says like, it's me. And he turns around. He's like, oh. He tries to like, get out. He tries to go to the garage. And then he goes like, nobody shit.

He's got a cigarette. He drops his cigarette. Meanwhile you're like, in the CIA like, clack, you know, fucking. And it's just like a meth head. There's a joke between like a lot of guys where guys are just always like, I've been waiting for this. Right, right, right.

No, I love it. Dylan, thank you for coming. This was so fun, like I said. Everybody go check out Dylan's new podcast, Wild Men. That's right. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat.

Subscribe to the podcast. so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.