Not Skinny But Not Fat - Elizabeth Chambers' New Beginnings

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Elizabeth Chambers is a host, entrepreneur, baker, mother, and ex wife of Armie Hammer. We all know what happened a few years ago: We lived the scandal. Now, we get to hear from Elizabeth how she got to where she is today, her career, being a mom, dealing with the scandal, and coming out of it on the other side.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. And just like that. Your favorite besties and tastemakers. Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone are back. Did you miss us? You know they did. Join us every Wednesday on your way to Sephora to hear our witty, ridiculous, and irreverent musings on life, the universe, existence, and of course what we currently ride for. You're going to absolutely live slash die for this podcast.

You might even, dare we say, ride for it. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonifut on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking about your best friends in your living room. Hi.

Amanda. How are you? My God. I'm great. Sorry, we're moving. And I was trying to make my moving office look a little bit like, like I needed to find the light.

There was a lot happening. So sorry to keep you waiting. No, don't worry. Did you find the light? It looks like you found the light. Found the light at the expensive. of the background. So, okay, no one cares. That's fine. It's more important than background, I feel. Yeah. And this is audio anyway, you know? Yeah, exactly. But it's good to see you and to meet you

after all this time. Oh, my internet friends. And you're my, I know, that's how it is. You can't even remember now you meet people and you're like, wait, did we meet in real life? I know. You're like, we're friends, right? But have I done? Basically, it feels that way. Wait, where are you right now? Because I saw because like you were living in in Cayman and now so we were living in came in the last three years went back to LA for the summer and everywhere for the summer and then I mean I'm such like LA is my home forever I was like we got to make the move got to the banday off but then we just moved into this new house here over the summer so I think we're here for like a few more months maybe the end of the school

year but island life has been grand it's just time to wrap it up and get back to reality Okay. So you're still an island life. Yeah, still an island life. We are in the Cayman Islands. And yeah. What is that life like? Do you wake up and go to the beach every day? No, of course not. We have to do things. We have to do work. You would think so. Like the beach is in our backyard. But I know, I mean, listen, it's so beautiful. It's like a small town, though. At the end of the day, like, you know, it's a small community. The kids are so happy. It's so this family Robinson. They don't come inside until the sun, goes down. They're riding their bikes everywhere. They're climbing trees. Everything is 15 minutes away. You're not, you know, spending two hours to get to horse riding like you are in L.A. It's just perfect for kids. It's amazing for kids. And it's just like a really sweet, simple life. Their school here is amazing. And that's like why we're still here. They're so happy. They're so happy. But you're, you have the it. You have the L.A. And have the it. And let's be honest, kids are going to be happy anywhere. Like I keep saying that. Like my kids are so happy. My kids are so

happy. That's why we're here. But we went when we were back in LA, Harper found a barn that she likes. She's a very serious sequestrian and found a horse that she loves. And, you know, that's, that's where they were born. And that's where they lived for the first years of their life. So, yeah, it's, I think we always can find any way to justify anything. Like, mama needs to go back. And you guys are going to be happy wherever you are. I know. It's really all about what makes us happy the parents, you know? And then they'll be happy if you're happy. But let's go back. I wanted to know where you are now so I can like envision you, you know, finishing this podcast and diving into the ocean because that's what I'm going to pretend that you're doing. I can pretend that's what I'm going to do. Instead,

I'm actually going to go pick up six children for a barbecue in a pool party in an hour. So basically, yeah, you imagine whatever you want, but it's all calming hard on a Friday afternoon. Well, Elizabeth Chambers is on the podcast today and I'm so excited because like I said, like we've been chatting for a few years. And, you know, I really also like heard so many great things about you. I feel like everyone that I know that knows you has always said just how great of a person you are and you've been so kind to me. And so I wanted to chat because you have so much going on and I wanted to see what's up. So, but I wanted to first of all kind of go back, go back. Because you just said like LA is home, but LA, you weren't born in LA. That's true.

Yeah. We're going back, babe. We're going back, babe. Yeah. Texas. No, I was born in San Antonio. I moved when I was quite young, but Texas girl grew up in Northern California, Half Moon Bay. It's just 25 miles south of San Francisco. Pumpkin capital of the world, fun fact. Fun fact. So you're into, you're into Halloween? I'm into pumpkins and the beach. It's like a coastal community. They moved to Denver for high school, went back to University of Texas or college, and freshman year of college, like, I had my first job at Access Hollywood, started. How? How? That's what I want to know. It's a really crazy story. You went to school for journalism because you wanted to be a journalist, I assume. But did you want to be like an on-air host? Yes. Like,

I always knew what I wanted to do since I was three. I just love people. I love, like, Oprah is from the same town where my mom is from, Kasiasko, Mississippi. And so Oprah was always always. like her family has property next to ours and I was just like knew about Oprah from the time as long as I could remember and I just love how she made people feel so good and how she connected with people and like she was my idol my whole life so I knew broadcast journal is what I wanted to do and so I applied obviously I played like NYU Columbia whatever I thought I really wanted to probably go to Columbia or go to USC but I was modeling a lot at the time like in high school. I went to Tokyo, my senior year for like four months modeling. And I just was afraid I

wasn't going to have a college experience if I went to L.A. and New York. So I ended up going to Texas. I was like, no temptation here. It's in the middle of the country. Like, I'm just going to have my football games and like my Texas life. And then that's like this summer before my freshman year, I was weirdly doing this. It was a Chanel fashion show in Aspen. And my mom were walking it. Yes, but it was, no, sorry, it was spending. I was spending. I was walking in this show. It was like, I was 17. And my mom always said, no matter, like, if they have the car come and get you guys, like, stay back and, like, help pack the floats. Like, learn how to do all of the things. So they had the car come get the girls and they take everyone back to the hotel. And my mom's like, you know, you don't know if you want to go into, like, fashion. You don't know if you want to go into, like, design. You need to know all the rules. So I stayed and, like, help them pack shoes. And then took the shuttle back to the hotel. And there was a guy on the shuttle. His name was Frank Smith.

And he's like, what are you doing? I said, oh, I just walked in the Cindy show. But like, my mom makes me stay back and do work. So I am taking the shuttle. And he's like, oh, what are you doing? I said, I'm going to college in the fall. I'm going to UT and I'm studying journalism. And he said, oh, well, I'm a lawyer from L.A.

And one of my clients, a lot of my clients are in TV. And he's like, one of my clients is Pat O'Brien. would you want to take a job at Access Hollywood or do an internship? And I was like, yeah, I would love that. Like, this is, I know there's controversy with Pat, but not at this time. And he actually was a great mentor to me. So he wrote, I wrote my phone number, like on his lift ticket. He called me so professional, like nothing.

Something about this does sound creepy, but it was like, no, on above board and just so, so much, just a beautiful display of humanity. So he called me and he's like, listen, I have, I have Pat connect with him. had offered me a job. So, like, my first on-air job was 19 years old, interviewing Mario Lopez, Danny Bonaducci for this show called The Other Half, which was basically the male answer to the view. So, like. So, and now Mario Lopez is doing Access Hollywood. Yes, exactly. I mean, listen, it was probably tragic. I'm really grateful that no one's located it. I can't imagine. I was just going to ask, can we find it on the internet? I really hope not. I say,

I'm so old, too. It's probably like on a VHS tape somewhere, like it's not even on the internet. But it was the best experience. So then I'm like, great. Now I have this job, you know, right before school. So I kept an apartment in L.A. all through college. So I was like, you know, at UT living in the freshman dorms in the sorority house, but then also back and forth every two months. Like I went to UCLA for two semesters because I was doing a show in L.A. So like I love Texas and it's definitely my people, but L.A. is 100% like the homeland. I've always loved it. Drizley is here to be your partner and party, meaning they're here to help you take the grunt

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you're not skinny but not fat audience. Go to divvyofficial.com slash not skinny or enter not skinny at checkout for 20% off your first order. That's divvy official, d-I-official.com slash not skinny for 20% off your first order. So did you give up modeling? We're like, oh, wait, this is my jam. I'm not going to do these shows anymore.

I think model it was definitely just like a segue. Obviously, I still had an agent and, But, you know, when you're in control, modeling is so interesting because you just basically don't have an opinion or voice where, like, with your television career, you can really drive it and decide where you want to go and what you want to ask and how you did. So did you get more and more opportunities at access and, like, other interviewing? Yes, I mean, literally, I was his assistant for a minute. I was past assistant. You know, that's how you start. I started his assistant. And then he was, and then, you know, the president of NBC at the time, I had a meeting with him. He's like, okay, go do this. Go do this. Like, they would just give me small things. Like, it was not a correspondent at 19. I was working for Pat. And then, like, my first real, real, real job was when I was 21. And that was the first job I took out of school, which was supposed to be Channel 1. Do you remember the news program? that were in high school students' classrooms. No. Okay.

Okay. But it was really cool. And it was like where's Serena Ochall and Anderson Cooper? They all got their start there. It's very much like rogue journalism, but come as we go to find the story. That's what I love. Like, that's what I wanted to do. So I graduated a semester early and took the job that was going to be there.

And it kind of worked into a show called Current TV, a network. It was a whole network. It's international network. Al Gore and Joel Hyatt. Right. The owners and founders. And so that was like my first real. And that was like hardcore journalism, not celebrity entertainment stuff. Like I didn't, I didn't really ever. I'm going to leave the pop culture to you. Like I was never into that. Like I really didn't enjoy doing the carpets because they didn't feel like you could really get someone's story. Like story is what drives me. Like I want to know what makes you tick. And you can't exactly find that out on a carpet. Like there's definitely people, there are people who are so good at it. But for me, it was definitely. a means to the end. So, yeah, I current, you know, yeah, carpets are crazy. I don't actually like, like, I'll do them when they're, it's a cool opportunity, but you got to do a lot of like carpets for access. Yeah, and for E. And it's crazy. Yeah, it's like, it's like crazy. And you're like,

yeah, it's not glamorous. No, it's not like, it's like a zoo. It's a zoo. Did you ever want to be on the other side? Like, were you ever like, I should be the person walking the carpet and not. Well, like, honestly, I When I was in college, I was like, there was some acting jobs that came through my modeling agency that I was like, kind of like, yes, but I've never wanted to be an actor. Like, I had a really small part in the game plan with The Rock, like, playing his girlfriend. Like, small things that they go to modeling agencies for, you know? And I just like, why are we sitting in a trailer for 12 hours? We could be really productive. I don't understand.

I'm sitting in a trailer for 12 hours to say three, like, three lines. I don't understand the concept of anything and why. Like, I've always just known what I want. So it didn't really make sense to be distracted. But, you know, it was a great time. It was a great place to learn. And then Current was such a great experience. We crossed the border with illegal immigrants.

We, you know, went three miles down in an oil rig. And Mitchell Koss was my producer who was like, thanks second in Anderson Cooper's book. I mean, he really was a producer that taught a lot of the journals Lisa Ling that I really respect the way. And he was mine. and he was like taught me everything I know and I love him so much we talk every day and he's actually we're going to put him on a few of the shows I'm working on now but current was a great experience because we were it was really ahead of its time it was viewer created content before YouTube so we would be on set

and we would introduce viewer created content and this is like before YouTube existed wow and then we went into the field and we did other stories as well but it was really like it was it was it was amazing It's where I learned, I think, almost everything I know. So then from there, and you have this passion for journalism, you're now, you own a bakery that you have like four locations now? Yeah. So after current. Current bakery, everybody.

And then I did a few other. I was doing like four. At one point I was hosting three shows at one time. And within two weeks, all of our shows were canceled. Like, like living green, like all. It was just viewers. it was networks morphing into other networks like it was just all the things happened i was like this is crazy the thing i love about marketing because i'd always focused on marketing as well is that

you actually have control over your life like we all know in the entertainment industry look at the sagstrike right now you can be really good at your job you can show up every day you can do the work but like that doesn't mean that 9000 external factors are not guiding your demise so i love the facts and the thought of like i've always loved marketing i was a big deca dork like i don't business marketing in high school. And I love the thought of like, if I'm not selling a lot of chocolate peanut butter cupcakes, I can do something about it. Like I can move them to the register. I can post about it. I can put them on sale. I am in control. So when those shows were canceled, like I always knew I wanted open bird as an homage to my grandmother. She was my very, very,

very best friend. And I love her so much. So I always knew I was going to do it. I thought I was going to do it like after I hosted the show for 10 years. And I thought I was going to do when I was like 55 or 60. thank God I did not wait because you cannot pull like four all-nighters a week when you're 60 years old. So what age? You opened it in 2012. So I just, I was 27. Wow.

That's incredible. I'm really proud of myself. And honestly, like, it was the fucking hardest thing I've ever done. Wait, so bird is that like, does that have a meaning from your grandmother?

No, I love birds. I like, I love the way they nest. I love the way they eat their young. I love, even when we were little and like my mom was just teaching us how to paint. we would always paint birds. I just love birds. And your grandmother and your mom were both

in food. So it's not random that you had a passion for that too. No, not at all. My mom had a health food store when she was just 26. She opened one of the first ever health food stores in Texas. And so she opened that like total culinary entrepreneur queen. And then my grandmother had this catering company. And my grandmother's story is like fascinating. That's a whole other Oprah. It's a whole other pod. She's like, had the most exquisite life and just scrappy, scrappy as hell. Like, you know, she's still with us? She's not, but she was so ahead of her time.

And such a businesswoman, like a really great businesswoman, not to mention chef. So, yeah, I opened our location between where my mom's store was and where my grandmother's kitchen was. And it feels like she's there with us every day. So that was our first location that I opened in 2012. And you did it on your own? Did you have like partners at the time or anything? I don't know. I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

Did you, did you bake a lot? Yes. I was like baked my whole life. Like that's my therapy. Like I love cookies. So I have all of her cake recipes. And then my mom's recipes are like the sandwiches, the pimento cheese. And then my, my passion is cookies.

Like I swear to you, I think I can attribute my television career and success to maybe like 30% talent and 70% bribery because I would like go in and bomb an audition and then come back with like monster cookies. like for a callback, I probably wasn't invited to. And then I would, like, get another call. I was like, yes, admit it because of cookies. But, like, that was my happy place. I think, like, in my 20s, I wasn't raging.

I would come home and bake, like, five dozen cookies. And I was perfecting the recipes. Like, growing up, we always made monster cookies. But I have this, like... What are monster cookies? Oaks, chocolate chip, Eminem's, peanut butter. You could actually eat them. They are gluten-free.

They're not dairy-free, but not a lot of dairy in them. Oh, my God. Wait, I can't believe. I've never tried and I want to know because like the bakery has such a name for itself and like you were talking about marketing. How do you explain that it had this longevity of 12 years and like a bakery that everyone kind of knows about? I think it's a really, I think it's a combination of a lot of things. You can have an incredible product and very, very, very specific about the quality of our products. I don't compromise. You know, you have these food suppliers come in and

say, if you switch to this peanut butter, you'll make 70% more for cookie. I'm like, no, I grew up. using GIF natural chunky peanut butter. I'm highly passionate about that, highly passionate about Helmandi's mayonnaise. We are not messing around. We're not fucking with what works. So I think having integrity, having an incredible product. And then you can have all of that and you can have great marketing. But honestly, unless the community really receives you, you have nothing. So it's like kind of a combination of kismet luck and integrity, I think. And hospitality. Like hospitality is dead. And that's the same thing I love about journalism is stories and people that you get at the bakery. Like I love being in the stores. I love working and chatting with people and finding

how their day was and being part of their wedding and then their gender reveal and then all four of their kids' birthday parties. And like, you really get to go on a journey with people in the community when you own a bakery. And I love it. Are you still baking or did owning a business just about baking making. No, I'm crazy. That's why I have five kids coming home with me every day from school. I'm like, how? I multiply my children at pickup because like everyone knows in my house is the one with like all the cookies, all the homemade food. Yeah, I'm always cooking, always baking. My kitchen is like non-sock. Why don't you open one in LA? I like having the separation of television and bakery. Like even here, I opened one in the Cayman Islands a few months ago.

And, like, I go drop off my kids because no one was in school now. You have that, like, 45 minute of, like, exhale after drop off where your day hasn't really started yet. Like, I go drop off and then, like, come home to, like, tidy up the hurricane that was school lunches and everything getting out the door. But, like, I really like those 30 to 45 minutes before I schedule anything at night. Now that I have the bakery here, like, drop them off, go for our morning lineup. And, like, you just feel like, if you're not there, you're doing it a disservice. So, you know, we've been in talks to open in L.A. We're in talks at the Grove.

We're in talks to the Palisades Village. Maybe we'll do that, like, when I have more band with one day. But right now, I'm pretty toughed out. Wow. And you're kind of managing all these businesses from afar. That's crazy. I mean, I'm on a plane, like, every few weeks, every couple weeks. But it is.

It is crazy. And I couldn't do it without my teams. We have the best, best, best, best teams. They're amazing. Well, I have to try these cookies. So does that mean to have to get to Texas? It means we're going to send you some. Oh, okay.

That's what I was fishing for. Yeah, we can move on. You didn't have to dive that team. They're coming anyway. Okay, so in 2012, you opened Bird. Did you keep on going to auditions? Like you said, you want to keep the TV and baking life separate. But did you keep on doing TV all throughout this time?

Yes, like 100%. It was interesting because, thank God, I have the best agent at WME. Her name was Suzanne Lyon. and she was really great about the food space. So she's like, listen, I know you want to do hard news. I know you don't love pop culture. I know you don't want to, you know, at that point, I've been like stuff on the speed channel.

I'm like, give me anything except for pop culture. I didn't really love that. So everyone's like literally voodoo dollying you right now. Like it's the dream of so many girls and people wanted you to do it. And you were like, no. Well, that's kind of like, oh, I just saw a meme about it. Like it's always those, you know, those old rom-coms where the girls. girls forced to write about like orgasms and dating, but she wants to write about like the war.

Yeah. That was you. That was me. I was like, give me a war. I know, I will volunteer for the Human Rights Foundation and not get paid before I go on a carpet. Please. Yeah. Totally.

When I worked at E, I did like E News Daily. And then I did a show called The Stylist. And it was more interiors and fashion. So I did like that. But I was still focusing people. Suzanne really did a great job blending my background with food waste. So then it was like Cupcake Wars and Sugar Showdown and like Chop Jr. And so I did all the more food-based shows, which is funny because at one point, it's like we're doing really hard news and then talking about the fondant, how much I fucking hate your fondant on your cupcake.

So it's like it was a weird dichotomy, but also it was testament to the times because I feel like when I graduated from college, you had to be so serious. Like I remember feeling I couldn't even have a real personality if I wanted to be taken seriously as a newsperson. Like I had to have like the button down shirt on our bio, you know, page on on the website. And also because you're like a beautiful woman and at the time also model. So you probably also felt like you needed to prove yourself. Yes. And and you couldn't like show that side of you. And I think that, you know, that was like 20 years ago.

It was like 2004, 2005. And I think it's so incredible. And a lot of this is obviously a testament to social media, but how much you can be a multifaceted person in news. you can just be you. But at the time, like, I was worried, if I do Cupcake Wars, why not be taken seriously? And then things...

You could be a mom and still be a dumb bitch, you know? 100%. You couldn't talk about cupcakes and still be a fucking news reporter. Like, it's okay. You can do it all. Yeah, we're not in boxes anymore. And I think that that definitely is something that changed from when I started. But I did.

I kept doing the bakery. I took like six months off to open. it was very intense as you asked before I don't have any partners I didn't know what I was doing I found the space I had a really small budget it's like a tenth of the budget of my buildouts now and taped it off myself took like a few chef went to some restaurants asked to talk to their head chefs that thought they were in trouble like they thought I was going to complain about my food and I was just like can I um take you to dinner and then also we're going to make one little stop here's the address and then I asked like five chefs where would you put the refrigerator where

Where would you put the dish pit? Because there's nothing online. You can't Google where to put things in a kitchen. I can't believe that. Wow. Oh, you know, and when three people said something goes somewhere, that's where it went. How long did it take you to make money? We were really successful right away.

Wow. Very grateful because people love my grandmother. People showed up opening day. There's a line down the block. They had pictures of her. They had stories. So she was like a well-known woman. She was.

But, I mean, she also would have been almost 100 now. So like yesterday or last week, I was taking a sandwich out to a lady. I could tell on the phone and she called it to place to order that she was elderly. And I said, let me just run it out to you because parking is wild. We're like always really busy with such a blessing. But I said, just tell me what kind of car you have and I'll run it out. And I ran her sandwich out to her and she was so grateful. And she said, I want you to know I know your grandmother.

And she was such as she was such a firefighter. She was, she was like, she has spoke Queen's English. She was from England originally, but just so opinionated. And she was telling me all these stories and I was so touched. And then I said, the worst thing. I was like, you don't have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you for sharing, you know, the people who really knew her personally are few and far between anymore. Like what? Like, no, okay, thank you. I literally just told her, like, on her deathbed. Not the move, but it is. That's so something I would do, though. And then think, oh, for the. think it forever. Totally. I'm having nightmares about this still. I'm sure they fuller. How are you alive? Yeah. Exactly. You're like the last one standing. Oh, ma'am. But yeah, I think like to hear stories and to see, you know, once somebody passed the way, it wasn't digital. Like, you only have so many photos of them. I have like 30 photos. And then people brought their own pictures. And some, my mom sold these

these brand muffins at her health food store. So she could not find the recipe anywhere. And I was like speaking at a garden club event like years ago. And I apparently said if anyone has this brand muffin recipe, I need it. And so this lady came in just a couple weeks ago and she said, oh my gosh, I went to my files. I found her mom's recipe. I helped her out in the, in her store when she really needed it. And she gave me the recipe. And now like 30 years later, 40 years later, it's back on our menu because of the community.

So I think we've been successful because of the community. We were really open with welcome to the open arms in San Antonio. Wow, that's so special and just amazing. Okay, so 2012 you opened Birds Bakery, but you got married like a couple years before that. Yes. Yeah. So you were like a married woman already like opening a business at that time. And so did you meet your ex-husband army like in the industry from doing these interviews and from being in the entertainment business? He wasn't even working at the time. Like he. wasn't he wanted to be an actor but like wasn't doing the things to be an actor like so oh so you didn't know who he was no but no he didn't know who no one did okay okay he wasn't 12 he was 19 but like you know he was 19 oh my god yeah no he was just i like he wanted to act but he hadn't really done anything and my friend tyler ramsie who is my producer on a show i hosted why does that sound familiar he's an artist too but he started he started he started

in TV like forever ago and he produced like a dating show I was hosting and so he kept like Tyler was so cool I knew I liked him right away like at our first meeting he was like wearing cowboy boots and he he's from Oklahoma and he's like I got to go a babble study later I'm like you have me a babble study like you were my people and he was just amazing so we were really really close and he would always say oh like I can't hang out I have to go I'm with my front army with my front army and I was like annoyed because he wouldn't ever hang out with me because he's always with his best friend army. And then I'm like, you know what?

No, we're friends now. I really, like, you're my best friend and I don't want to hear about this other best friend. So he's like, fine. I thought we were going to date. So I don't want to introduce you. But I guess you can meet him now. So, like, met, you know,

through our mutual friend, Tyler. And like, it was love at first sight. And Tyler at that point, exited. Oh, that was my next question. Was it love at first sight? Yeah, for sure. He exited the chat then. No, he didn't.

He was like in our wedding and everything. But that's wild that you got together when you were so young. Yeah, he was 19 and I was 23. So it was love at first sight. Did you have a lot of boyfriends before him? Like, were you a dating kind of girl? I had like a one long term boyfriend and then a short term. And then I was actually in a relationship when I did meet him.

So that was tricky. But did you knew that like the guy you were dating wasn't it? I mean, I was like really happy, but then you can't have such strong feelings for somebody else and then stay, you know? So it wasn't, it wasn't great for the guy who I was dating at the time. But it was also good for Army because he had to work for something. Like he had to listen. I'm like, ambition is important. I know you want to do something, do something. Either go back to college or like, go to acting class. I'm not like interested in someone who's complacent. So I think it was good for him because my boyfriend at the time was really successful.

doing a lot, which is the hottest thing to me. Like, I love ambition. So I think it was like a good motivator. So you motivated him to get his ass up and work like Kim Kardashian would say. And one of my other questions was since he was with you when you were opening a bird, like, was he supportive? Was he of any help? Now that I'm thinking about he was so young, he probably had even less of an idea of what

to do. Yeah, I know. He definitely was hardly like, you know. He wasn't the businessman behind the operation, to say the least. Yeah. But he is really supportive. Like, you know, I've always just been a very independent person that does what I want. And I think, like, if I'm with somebody, that's really just how things go.

Like, I do what I want when I want, how I want. And so, you know, it was, it was actually, he was really understanding and helpful for, you know, like, okay. After a wedding, I had, like, all of these lanterns that I had purchased because, you know, because I didn't want to rents. And so I, like, had this huge storage unit full of these, like, beautiful lanterns. And they really went with the vibe of the bakery. So, like, you know, I had he and his friends, like, get a U-Haul truck and drive it to Texas, which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail.

So they helped where they could. Oh, my God. So he was getting in trouble. He was getting in trouble from a young age. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, it was pretty, it was pretty harmless. But it was also cool. doing Lone Ranger at the time. So they were filming in Arizona and Utah and I was bringing like

every single crew member or find anyone who was a crew of Lone Ranger and they'll tell you they like existed on Bird Bakery Cupcakes. They were like my taste testers and I would make cookies for everyone and bring cupcakes back. So it was a good time in place geographically and it was a good time to open. I can't imagine doing it now with kids in such a full life. Like yeah. It was a perfect time. And at that point, like you said, like he wasn't even working that much yet. So when things really blew up, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight and red carpets and big movie premieres and, you know, more eyes on you. Like, how did that feel for you?

Like, you had the taste of the fame from doing the hosting. But did you like being in that spotlight of like Hollywood? Really weird. Like, I'd rather be asking questions. And I felt like I still wanted to be the person, you know, asking questions and it's always a fine line right like you want to be a supportive wife but you don't want to lose your identity and your career is going one direction and it's really exciting if like success all around is something to be celebrated but like you also always I've always found

it's tricky to be like a supportive wife while also maintaining everything else that you want and in your own identity like I felt that was definitely something that I think a lot of people struggle with that I mean identity in general like what's your identity when you get married what's your identity when you have kids like how is it like how can i still maintain my dumb bitch self you know and just like be who i am without these like milestones i know it's like when my husband tells me like no we're the same person i'm like no we're not he's like everything it's ours together i'm like no it's not like no like a lot of things are but like this is mine like this is mine and i can have that and you can have your thing and that's and that's fine so that's why i was

wondering about that for you since you weren't in that world in that world and probably when things started going really well in the acting space for him and you had to just like come along for the ride like how that felt for you I think again everything goes back to relationships right like I learned so much from so many like we were best friends we went everywhere to get there like when you're newly we don't have kids for five years so we literally just like traveled we were together on every set, on every experience. So, like, in a really cool way, like, I learned so much from, and have so many incredible friends, you know, from social network, from, like, so many of his projects that are mutual friends, like, that we're all still both really close to, which

I think is also really cool, because you can go through a divorce, and it can be fucking messy as ours was, but, like, you still have the same friends, you know, there's some collateral damage. But for the most part, if people are really old good friends, you're still with them. And like, I think that that's, yeah, it's like we, our experiences were quite similar. It was we're together every day, no matter what. It wouldn't trade that for anything. Like, it's just, it was a beautiful, beautiful time. Like, I wouldn't change anything. It's something to say, but like, I wouldn't. I am not a cook, but I'm also not a mixologist. I never try to be. So I'm so happy when there's a drink that I don't have to make. And I could just pour in my glass because I'm not

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Listen, I know about myself that I signed up for a lot of subscriptions and a lot of stuff, some that I wanted to keep, some that I don't even know why I did it, some that I was like, you know what, I'll sign up for the free trial and then I'll remember to cancel it. I don't remember to cancel it. But now I don't have to. I have rocket money. And rocket money cancels subscriptions for you.

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and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Most people think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality the number is closer to 200. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash not skinny. That's rocketmoney.com slash not skinny. Rocketmoney.com slash not skinny. So everybody that's listening probably knows already about the scandal with Army that happened in COVID. I wanted to know what life was like for you leading up to that. Because a lot of times when there are breakups, even when they're not as scandalous and as public as this, I've had friends, break up with people where you're like, are you okay? And they're, they're pretty okay because they

already kind of felt it coming or felt like the relationship was ending. So where were you, if you can share like when your marriage was ending? Were you, were you ready? Did you feel it coming? And what was life like? I don't think like anyone is ready. I am such a family person and my family is everything. Like, it would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kids. There's nothing I wouldn't do. And I know you feel the same about Noah. I'm just a very traditional Christmas card, basic bitch girl that family is more important than life than like any work or anything. So honestly, I would have done anything in the whole world to keep my family together. We had had like a couple challenges and we were in intense therapy at the time. It was our 10th

anniversary and we had definitely like I felt like we were working on some of the things that had happened and we were in intense. Like when I say six hours of therapy, sometimes, a week. Like we were working with Esther Perel. I'm like, if we're going to do this, like we're going to go to the best. We would fly to New York. We needed to walk to Esther. We were like all the things. We were doing all the things. Like it was a bit of a like a triage get it back together. And I felt like it was like a little bit stabilized at the time. And then we, I was with the kids on a boat trip in St. Bards. And we were supposed to be in the Cayman Islands. Because Army grew up here for four years. That's where the Cayman

connection comes. So we were supposed to be here the following week for spring break. And then COVID hit and my friend's husband who wasn't on the boat was like, you guys, because we would go on the boat, put our phones away for three days and just do like yoga and drink ranges. So we didn't really know what was happening at the time. He's like, don't go back to LA. So I like called in an audible, brought the kids to Cayman. His dad was here.

We're all like living together under the same roof because his parents were here. And then like things just kind of started to come to the surface. It was a struggle for everybody, right? It was COVID. Everyone was in lockdown. Yes, we were in paradise. but like there are a lot of dynamics happening and so he's like I can't deal with my you know he was having some struggles with his dad he's like I'm mentally not okay and like for me if anyone says they're

mentally not okay but you don't argue with that right so long to which he like left there's like some text messages that weren't supposed to be sent to me and I'm just like you know what which works so hard and come so far and you don't leave your family during a global pandemic and then especially with everything we've been through and I just thought I wouldn't want you Yes, family is important, but, like, I'm also, some people are okay with infidelity. Some people can move on. Some people can turn a blind eye. Like, I fucking deserve the world.

And I'm not that girl. Like, I'm never going to be that girl. I think people make mistakes, but, like, I was never going to stay in a relationship of where I was being disrespected. And so when all of this kind of, you know, I filed and I don't know if he thought it. So you filed before the scandal. I feel like that's not like a really known. Yeah. Like before everything broke and the world knew, you found out during that time, too, but

you had filed for divorce previously. Yes. And then I think it was like maybe an impetus, like maybe he felt really free. I don't know, like, but you know, it everything kind of exploded. And like he was posting things that I don't really, I'm just like, what is happening. I remember like screaming and crying and just like not understanding how and why. that this could even be my life. How is this my life? After we had so many plans, we went four kids. We wanted to be in like this neighborhood by this time.

Like, you know, you have a plan. You're like on the same team going to the same place. And it was just so hard and so painful to see that with someone else. And then little did I know that was the least of what was to come. That would have been, that was real, real mild. But, you know, I was here and I was in the Cayman's and I was surrounded by my incredible friends. and I had the ability to turn off my phone because it was just one thing after another and another and another.

And sometimes I would wake up and be like, oh, my God. Like, I kept thinking I was in a nightmare. Every time I woke up, I kept thinking I was a bad dream. And I don't even know how to explain it, but it's been three years. I can talk about it now, but it was just beyond. And my kids were little and I wanted to protect them from anything or, you know, and I didn't want them to see me crying. you're actually like the best mom of your life because you're so present and upy and you know crying in the shower when they're sleeping but they sense things and i didn't want to anything and they weren't old enough to understand but they were you know they can feel everything and they know kids are so smart so yeah i mean i would sometimes wake up and i'd be like oh my god it's actually good to be a good day like it's 11 o'clock and nothing and then boom by one i'm like fucking hall again and it just it was like

It felt, I don't know how else to describe it other than it felt like I was in a car accident, like bleeding out on the side of the road. And then you're basically like in full triage, full crisis. And then eventually like an ambulance comes, they take you to the hospital. You get a little stabilized. They wrap the booms. You know, eventually you learn to walk. Eventually like you're released from the hospital and then you start like rehab and physical therapy. Like that's what I feel like emotionally it was.

I don't know. like it was the worst and the most horrible time of my life. But I'm strong and I'm really grateful for. You're strong as fuck. And from the sidelines watching you and I think so many people, you know, I feel like you're the way you handle it should be written about and like how to handle a scandal because for your kids and also just in general because what you did and the fact that you stayed from a sideline, I mean, you know,

point of view was just probably the best thing that you could do for your family. That's what it seems like. That's what sometimes I see other things happening. I'm like, they should do what she did, you know? Because I just, it looks like it was the best move that you could do. But I couldn't imagine how you dealt with it and how strong you were to. Because, you know, first of all, like you said, people stay in relationships because it's so hard to leave. Because you had this picture perfect idea. So even that alone took, you know, a lot of strength. from you. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? You know, he was not in a great place at that time. And all I really wanted, like, I don't speak on his behalf in terms of,

like, treatment, but all I wanted was for him to, like, get help. And that's all I cared about and all I went. Like, I drove him to the airport. I was like, despite all the hurt and all the pain, like, all I wanted was for my kids to have their dad, you know, sober and alive and well. So, it was it was mostly about focusing on that i think once rock bottom was kind of hit and just trying to be that constant you know trying to be there while being hurt but also understanding that it's not about me it's 100% about my children it's all about them they didn't choose to come into this world and have trauma a few days a few years later so that for me was like how to admit like it became my life's work as how to mitigate this trauma in their lives.

I spoke to every family separation therapist from Norway, Upper East Side, Hasidic Jewish community, like Phoenix, I, when I tell you, I like would have an hour conversation with family separation therapists from all over the world for six months straight. Like, it's not an exaggeration. I just wanted to know how I could navigate this without them, you know, having trauma in their lives. Like, divorce does trauma no matter how you look at it. Yeah. But it is how you handle it and how it's processed.

And a big part of that was remaining here where there are no tabloids. There's no paparazzi allowed in the human islands. There are kids' parents aren't divorces. They're not entertainment lawyers. They're not agents. They're not managers. They don't care. They don't know.

Which is why, like, honestly, I think one more year might be our safe zone in terms. Not like we're hiding, but I just want to protect them. until they can actually understand that we are both in really healthy places now and, you know, things have happened and the internet is a wild place, but ultimately, like, they have two parents that love them deeply and love each other, like not in love, but you have a stable home and family. They're like six and eight, right? Yes. Does the internet scare you in terms of them Googling ever or like, have you thought about how you're

going to handle that? I think the internet should scare all of us for her kids. Like, I don't mind. I already told my daughter, oh, why I'll pay her half of her car if she waits till 16 for a phone. And she's like very into that. So I'm totally not about bribery. But yes, I think it is, I think it can be scary, but I don't think it is if you arm yourselves. Like, we're in a time where it's almost empowering to accept our truth or our family's truth.

You know, our parents or their grandparents love to brush things under the rug. they love to pretend it didn't exist. It's very empowering and disarming for you to just be like, yeah, this happened. And I hope that they are at a place in their lives, ultimately that that's my goal where, like, yeah, what did your family do? Just because it was on the internet, who knows? Not that it's like, you know, a tip for a tap. But I just think, like, you know, it doesn't have to be some secret. Like, obviously now it's not age appropriate.

But when it is, it's like, yeah, I made some really bad choices. but look at me now, you know, and I hope that that ultimately is the messaging for them. No, I, listen, I am a living example of somebody with a fucked up family situation when I was little. And I'm like, I'm fucking great, you know, and a lot of my friends with parents that are married for 55 years and then never, you know, had weird things going on. So sometimes, and, you know, when you know and it builds character and it builds who you are. So I definitely agree with that. And I know you just settled the divorce right in like June.

So you're officially everything's out of the way. Does that feel liberating? Yeah. I mean, it's so interesting. Through this process, a lot of people have come to me and, you know, I'm grateful I'm in a position to be able to help some people who are going through the same things. And I have like a friend who's going through something similar, not as crazy. but she's like, oh, my God, I have a divorce paper sign.

Should you have a party? And I said, do you feel like having a party? Like, is that what you want? She's like, no, I'm actually really sad, but I thought that's what you're supposed to do. Like, I'm happy not to have any more attorney fees. And I'm happy that, you know, that it's over. But also at the same time, like, it is the death of nine million expectations. Whether, you know, yes, like obviously was very anxious for it to wrap up.

But at the same time, like, I don't know, having a divorce party, It just doesn't feel like the vibe. Yeah. I didn't realize people really did that. I thought that was just like a funny thing and like shows. She was ready to party. And I was like, just go have a glass of wine with your friends. You're good.

So do a lot of people come to you for advice, like strangers on the internet? And a lot. And yeah, it's really been interesting. I think there's so much that needs to be talked about in terms of financial independence. and really women, even if you don't want to work or you don't want to start your own company, but really making sure that you're not ever, that you're prepared and that you're set up. And I don't think there's enough conversation about that. I don't think there's enough conversation about even, you know, my divorce is like,

one of my closest friends now. Like, I love her to death. But she said, all these people are moving to Texas. Do they know the divorce laws in Texas? Like, yes, it's great for, you know, taxes, but, you know, know your stuff. And I think that there needs to be like a lot more education for people to know their options. So women aren't in relationships that they don't want to be in. You have one life to live.

And so many people message because they feel stuck or because they feel blindsided because their husband came home one day and just like, I'm out. Like I don't want to do this anymore. Where do they have so many experiences like that at the bakery, like people will come in and just start crying to me. I've met some incredible women who have gone through hell and back. So I think that there definitely needs to be more of a community and conversation. for that. I so agree. My mom raised us like to be independent and that means financially too

because if you're in a situation where you're not and you want to leave and one of the reasons you're staying is because you don't know how you're going to live without this person's financial support. And I don't want to overset because you know that I respect you so much. But this came out in the media that Army is paying $1,500 per month in child's for it, but for some reason became public. Can you confirm that? Yeah, no, of course. That's in court documents. Like, listen, I have built a really successful company and I have three shows right now in production. In the, in the works, good. I was going to ask you about that because I knew I didn't know if like things messed it up. No. Yeah, no. Actually, I think it was, things really didn't

affect that. Like, I'm so grateful for my team. I'm so grateful for the success. of my company and and I'm so grateful that I have that because like I could sit here and literally spend however many dollars at another year arguing back and forth about how much money and it's just such a waste like you know what I will provide for our kids there with me all the time like you just get to the place that you need to be and I don't think it's worth like I don't think anything is worth going back and forth like nothing is worth us being on bad terms for the kids. Like it's just so important. I can't even tell you. Like we're in LA and we're saying my friend's house and he was staying there just like putting the kids to sleep, reading a book

together in bed. It's like that's what kids want. And that's what makes them happy. And like if that's like the one thing I can give them, like I give them everything. I give them everything. I can do that and that makes them so inherently happy. Like there's nothing I won't do for for them. They didn't ask for anything like they are everything and i just don't want them to like have trauma as they go older and they won't they won't like i'm so confident now if you ask me three years ago that was my biggest concern but like they're so solid now and i feel like knock on wood i've navigated this as best as they possibly could and i can say that with confidence like i really do i hope they feel the same when they're talking to their therapist when they're 20 yeah and i mean this goes i feel

like just by getting to know you more and seeing, you know, what's important to you, but can kind of assume what your answer would be, but it sounds like you are supportive of your ex, moving forward in life, getting better, doing well, because it is a crazy story just like, you talked about before, like the demise, like there was a demise here of someone that was like, you, you look him up on Google and it's like, oil tycoon family, like the richest. And meanwhile, there's a reality now that he can't even pay you, you know, child support. And that's aside from the scandal and everything else, but is one of your hopes for him to get to like, you know,

a good place in his life financially and career-wise. Yeah. I mean, it's never really been like a money person. Like he doesn't, like, I've always was the finance, meaning the business manager and all that stuff. Like he just, I think my goal is for him to be like at peace and full and healed. whatever that process looks like for him you know as much as you care about someone at some point you're just like this is your journey like i'm here if you need anything like it's not my

issue anymore my issue is making sure that my kids have a great dad and that they think that their dad's a superhero every child when they're little and it's age appropriate should think that their dad and their mom are the greatest most solid thing in the world like that's just and when they get older and they don't feel that way, that that's okay. But when they're at this age, they need to know that and they're harder parts for that foundation. So they do now. And that's my hope is that, you know, just I think that he's at peace. And I don't know, life is too short.

Like, I always say anger corrods the vessel in which it's carried. Like no one needs to be, I understand. And that was another really hard time during all this. Like you obviously want to stand with anyone who might be a victim, but you also don't, like, as a feminist you're reading things and then you also need to keep your family it was like such a mindbag i don't know they can also you cared about this person like for so many years it's not like all of a sudden you want to be like fuck you burn in hell like i'm sure you had moments where you felt like bad for him or wanted to help him or like every single emotion yes like basically

the whole spectrum but yeah i think like to answer your question i think that should be our hope for everyone and ourselves. And it sounds so cliche and so Pollyanna, but like, what is the alternative? You're just being pissed at the world or like, you know, carrying some negative baggage. Like, that's not going to help anyone. Not at all. You have such a healthy outlook on life. And let's talk about what's happening right now. I hope still happening. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yeah. He's so good. Okay. Good. I got word for a second with that. Yeah. I know. He's amazing. So how did you meet? Is he. Is he a Cayman man?

No, he's actually from Lithuania. He was born and raised in like a small village in northern Europe. And he was, he's a physical therapist. So he was here working, doing physical therapy. Oh my God. That's so cute. So how long has it been now? Like a couple of years?

No, not a couple of years. A year, almost a year and a half in a month. And you're in love? I love him. Yes, I'm in love. I love him very, very much. He was like the most, he's the most genuine healing source of light and grounding that, like, it cannot imagine going through everything and not having like that light at the end of the tunnel.

He's just been like such a really, like, place of healing and solace for me. He's amazing. So if you move to Lai, is he going to come? I don't know. I don't. Everyone says it's going to ruin him. He's like, that was pure soul. I mean, I mean, we've said LA.

Oh, you mean that the city is going to ruin him. Yeah. Oh, no. So authentic. And so, I mean, I'm not saying LA, isn't it? But he's just like. I mean, LA a little bit. I mean, a little bit.

Yeah. So talk about my city like that, Amanda. I know. I know you love it so much, Elizabeth. I know. But I don't, yeah. I mean, listen, I, you know, he's very much from a background of like, you get married, super young.

Hey, all of his friends have like three kids. kids. And we're definitely a little bit in different places that way. So, you know, he's very, like, traditional. And he's only 26, but, like, his friends all have some, like, two and families. Yeah. So do your kids know about him yet? No, that's kind of the beauty of this island is that, you know, I like Janine, the shaman and my tarot. I have so many friends. Like our house is, like, Grand Central Station. We have so many friends coming and going. And you just, like have two roads basically so it's like you know they like they love him they love him so much and he's so present and so great with him like he's never on his phone he's just the most like

focus i don't i think literally i don't know how he exists maybe they only exist in small forests in lithuania i don't know how he exists but um it's just like the opposite of everyone i know and how i am i'm like all over the place and he just for another day went to a smorkeling and I was playing with his goggles and not sort of like 10 minutes. I'm like, I don't know what's happening with the goggles. We're not snorkeling today. And he's like, well, is Reachka close? And he was like running on the beach.

I'm like, can you come the snorkel? And they like snorkeled for five hours. I'm like, who does anything for five hours except for like be on our phones? Like, what do you? How do we snorkel for five hours? So he's just like so great with them. We're not at all. Like I don't think that they've fully processed the divorce yet.

And I think it'd be really weird for me personally. Like I don't judge other people who choose. something differently, but I think it would be really confusing for them to not fully process to divorce and have me dating someone in front of them or like kissing someone. Our family of four, like with army is really important to them. And like that's their identity now. So I know it's not like easy for him and he's a saint because it's not like it's not ideal. But he's really, really, really like patient and understanding and understands humanity and

psychology in a way that like he gets it but yeah yeah I don't I just like I wouldn't want my mom to date someone when I yeah yeah I no no I think my mom well you're not doing that but my mom didn't want us to like see and didn't want it all these things and then she never dated she's 65 now so like she put you first which is yeah she kind of not she regrets it but I think she knows now that she could have put us first not in every single yeah thing Do you know what I mean? It's hard. So who's the new, the new Elizabeth?

The new Elizabeth, she's working on a cookbook. She's working on shows, right? But yes, news is important to me, and world affairs are extremely important. And politics have become like, I'm just disillusion with politics. But like taking my background and TV and doing it in a way that really helps people. I didn't realize, I think over the pandemic, we all kind of on social media, you know, we're reading about like ghosting and and love bombing and gaslighting and all these things that were really prevalent on social media but really hasn't been explored on TV in a way that that's helpful

or in a way that you're going to watch something and be like at the end like am I in this relationship am I in this dynamic and I think post pandemic like people are really examining the dynamics whether that's a romantic relationship a friendship a work environment that might not be healthy So I'm really, like I said, I have two shows in production right now, and I'm really excited about the one that we're doing for discovery. It's basically like a date line, but with really modern terms and kind of toxic relationships and how extreme it can be. So they're all buttoned up episodes. And I'm manifesting like 300 seasons of it because there's so much content and so much out there. And things like you don't even think about like fertility abuse, like

people who want their wives to be pregnant and they're like putting bovine fertility in their coffee so they can just have more babies and they never leave the house. Like it's so complex. So these are real people, real stories. Real people. Real stories. And you're hosting it? I'm hosting and producing it. And is this coming out?

I mean, you could talk about it. So is it, does it have a date yet? I don't have a date yet, but yeah, it's really fascinating. And it's like just all the research and all the deep dives. Like it's just this world is so vast and I'm really hopeful that it will help a lot of people but also entertained in the process. So really excited about that show. And then we did a show for Hulu about opening the location here, which I'm producing and hosts like in as well. And then like a couple other ones that just sold.

So Elizabeth. Oh, I'm excited. So that's the new era. The new era is like hopefully just spreading messages and entertaining people in the process to the world of like making. making this really clear someone is in relationships like I wasn't to be honest I woke up every day and was like oh my god how is this my life like I was not but there are so many patterns like ultimately it all comes down to trauma what someone is attracted to someone because maybe they're feeling a void that they didn't have when they're younger like so all of this like research I did for the kids and

figuring out how to navigate divorce like it all ties in like we're all just products of our upbringing in our history and our past and that really manifests itself in romantic relationships and all relationships. So the show is like my dream job. It's actually my producer from E knew I always wanted to do news and now he's like head of all Jason Sterling's now he's the head of like discovery and everything and he's like I always knew and he came to me with the show. He came to you with this idea. Yeah. He's like I want I know you've always wanted to do something like news. I know that you want to help? Like, what are we doing that you're going to, like, you know, help? And so obviously it was like not with a production company, like flushing it out and it's had many iterations.

But ultimately, like, this is it now. And real stories, real people, real takeaways. Like, labels are not bad if it's helping someone figure out what kind of dynamic they're in. So I'm really excited. I am too. This is so great. And I'm so happy to know that you're doing well and that you have so many things coming up. And thank you for coming on my show. Thank you so much.

I love seeing you. And I'm so happy to be finally connected. And we have to actually like get together in real life. Yes. Thank you for having me. Yes. Thank you. Bye, guys.

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Natskini. but not fat. Follow me on Instagram at not skinny but not fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much

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