Not Skinny But Not Fat - First Name Amanza, Last Name Smith

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Joining Selling Sunset on its second season, Amanza was the breath of down to earth fresh air we all needed! A single mom, a loyal af friend, and a 0 fucks given kinda gal who was not afraid to stand up to big B Christine, Amanza is a vibe and a half! She tells me all about her Ex husband who randomly disappeared, her goals and dreams, how she got on Selling Sunset, her relationship with Taye Diggs, and other "fancy people" she dated, and where she stands with all the girls on the show. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. You got what I need. Hi, I'm Elizabeth Kott. And I'm Stephanie Simbari, and we are the host of That So Retrograde. Part of us? For the past 200 and some episodes, we've been trying to figure out what the hell wellness is. We have inspiring and fun conversations with all types of amazing people, from healers to comedians to whatever's in between.

We're five years in, but we're just getting started. So hop on board every Thursday to join the party en route to living your best life. And don't forget your cannabis. or to check us out on Instagram at So RetroGrade. That's right. Bye. See you there. This is Not Skinny, but Not Fat, and I'm your host, Amanda, bringing you the latest in all celebrity gossip, reality TV recaps, and anything happening in Hollywood right now that I just can't keep my mouth shut about.

This is Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Okay, you guys, we're all super obsessed with Selling Sunset on Netflix. I know I watched the first season, the second season, and now the third season, more than once. And it's legit, just like a worldwide, I was going to say, like, pandemics. It's not a good thing. It's just crazy. Like, the world, it's Netflix, everyone, whatever. I have Amanda Smith, Amanda with a Z with me today.

What is up, Amanda? What's happening? I, when you first came on the show, like, I think I put a story that night and I was, like, changing my name to Amanda. Like, that's so much cooler than Amanda. Everybody called me Amanda. Like, on the phone, what's your name? I'm like, Amanda.

Or like, Samantha. Oh. Amanda. I'm like, yeah, whatever. How do you? Wow. Because Amanda sounds like sort of like a valley girl saying Amanda, like Amanda. like Amandaza.

You know, people think that I say, like if it's loud or, um, or something, they think I say, I'm Anza. And so they think my name is Anza also. But it sounds like Amanda. I'm Anza. But you were born with that name. Yeah. I was named after my grandma.

Oh, the name was Amanda? Yeah. And she was just a white lady in southern Illinois. It's like she wasn't even ethnic at all. She was like mixed with white and whiter. So it doesn't, it has no, because I know Amanda is like comes from Latin something. So I wonder if Amanda is like also. I googled it. And I think it's, I think it's, I think it's an Italian name actually. I think it. Oh, really? But I mean, I don't know. Well, aside from your name, you're super cool. You came on selling sunset. Was it the second season? Yeah, season two. It was season two. And it also said this everywhere. Like this is a consensus that you were kind of like. the down-to-earth, like, touch that the show kind of needed.

I like that. That's, yeah, everybody says that, like, relatable. I'm not as bougie as some of the, some of my. Well, you're not blonde, which is refreshing. Like, I don't, you're not from New York, but you have, like, a vibe like you would be, like, you know, like a Brooklyn. Like, you have more of a, like. I have a thick skin.

I have kind of like a, I have a lot of streets more. Like, I grew up tough, you know. like a tough childhood and I I had to be tough like from day one and so I kind of just have and I'm also the oldest in the office so I'm the oldest out of all the girls I'm older than Jason and Brett by like four months wait how old are you because Mary just turned 40 I'm 43 I'll be 44 in December what the hell up drop your skincare routine my dad is Nigerian and Asian. That's my skincare routine. That's what it is. But, you know, I, yeah, I just recently, you know, I started taking care of my skin because I want to keep it this way. Yeah.

But it's really brilliant. Now we have the show and everybody's like, tell me your skincare. And I'm like, okay, skincare line. I come out with a skincare line. I don't know. I'll call it like black don't crack or something. Yeah. No, because I mean, I'm sure you see it and you're in Hollywood. Like 19 year olds are like, it's just crazy. I'm like, no, you don't have a skincare routine. You're 19 years old. When I was 19, I was still washing my face with like, with like handstoke, like, whatever, same hour, you know? Yeah. I'm more, I'm more like privy to it. I use like moisturizer and I try to exfolia and all that, but it's all, it's genetics. I can't even give

one brand like all the credit because it's right. Right. But I mean, I use it. It really is. It really is. I don't even have like fancy foundation. It really is. Like I, you look fucking amazing but I said this once because a lot of people ask me on Instagram like what's your skin and I'm like listen at the end of the day

it's always fun to put on like creams before you go to sleep and like try different things but it is you're right it's a lot of genetics and you look amazing I did not know you were 43 thanks amazing

I don't feel 43 I feel 43 I feel like you know I mean I was married I have these two amazing little humans that I care for but but then you know my marriage didn't work out So I kind of feel like I'm just starting back to when I was like in my mid-20s because I'm single again and like I work with young people.

I'm on a show. I, most of my following is like ages 23 to like 35. Wait, I saw you blew up on Instagram this season too, right? I'm getting there. You know, I have to play catch up with all my castmates. No, don't. Amanda, don't feel like you have to play catch up. Yeah.

Don't. But it's growing. I'm not complaining. I love it. Yeah. No, it's I, you're, I know there's such a social media thing now with like, but like, you're loved. Like, you need to know that.

You're loved. Even season two when, when you were just kind of getting your footing in, like people had, I feel like, because I talked a lot about the show, you know, it's not always like the most followed person necessarily because people follow people for different reasons. You know what I mean? Yeah. Not necessarily because they're like, oh, I love this person. so I want to see what they're up to.

It's people have their reasons. So people follow just to like hate. And I honestly, I've been very lucky. Like, I've had like, I don't even know. I've probably read four negative. And I don't read them all. I'm just saying on the ones that I've read. There's been like maybe four.

And depending on how much wine I had that night when I'm reed stuff, sometimes I'll clap back. Sometimes I'll just whatever, you know, I wrote a really good response yesterday to this person. and I was like so into it and I was just like you know the way I cut somebody down is like with kindness but just very matter of fact I don't need to call names I don't have to be vulgar I don't wait what can I ask what they said what would someone say about you yeah it was I posted something so I came out recently with I did a collaboration with this makeup artist and I came out with my own eyelashes and a portion of the proceeds will go and I haven't decided

what charity I'm going to donate it to yet but I know that it will have something to do with the Black Lives Matter movement. So like on the back of the packaging, you know, the Black Lives Matter. And so I wrote, I put a post of the eyelashes and I said a portion of my proceeds will will be donated to an organization that supports the Black Lives Matter movement. And somebody was like, do you even know they're this terrorist organization and you should do your research? they don't the money doesn't go to anyone that was you know that's affected by black lives matter and blah blah blah you should be smarter than this and first of all I'm like do they even realize that I'm black like who do you think you're talking to first of all sit down secondly I said

I didn't say it was going directly to black lives matter I don't know enough about that organization and where that money goes I want it to go like directly to maybe the families that have been infected something and I haven't figured it all out yet so I just said and so I was just typing away and I was like being very like just a smart ass but like in the nicest way sometimes it feels good to just yeah and I was like oh no but then I was like you know what that was supposed to happen I don't even remember what I said so I just left yeah but my favorite thing is when somebody comment and then like my fans don't like what they said and then they have a whole argument amongst themselves and I'm just like sitting I don't have to do anything

yeah that's amazing I mean for the most part everybody's been really supportive and really positive and you know I can't complain I don't get a lot of hate which I think it's good because I'm sensitive as tough as I see I'm not going to say that this season I felt so bad for Davina but I think seasons one and two I was like everyone was hating on her and I just kept thinking about you know the person behind this who maybe got a bad edit yeah maybe you know and I was just like, how do you, even if she is a bitch, like, there are bitches, you know, but they have feelings too. And I just felt so bad that everyone was like, I know. I mean, and the thing is she's not. Yeah. She really isn't. She's a really kind person with a

huge heart. And I just, and I said this to even her the other day, I said, I feel like, you know, sometimes she just doesn't know how to read the room before she comment. I know her in a different way. like I worked in the office with her for a long time before I ever, you know, started filming the show. So I know Davina. I know that she doesn't mean harm. I know she means well. Sometimes she just, you know, she's not like super expressive or like animated. So sometimes when she says things, it just comes off kind of dry or bitchy.

But she's really a nice, brilliant human. And so. Yeah, she seems very smart. Maybe she's like, like you're really smart too. But maybe she's like too smart to be on a reality show. Like, maybe she's too, like, and she's German, I heard. Yes. She's German.

She's very smart. Maybe it is like. I'm just smart enough to be on the race. Yeah. Listen, her, her interaction with Christel, I think, on this season is one that, like, I told you, I rewatched the season again. And it's so cringy. They're like back and forth this season.

And it's about you, actually. It's about Chrisel. telling you that Christine said that Mary was like an idiot or acting like an idiot. Yeah. And their interaction was like, it was giving me like anxiety. It was just, it was so cringy. It was like, no, no, no, no, but. I fast forwarded through a lot of the parts that I wasn't in.

Stop. I just, I mean, it's so much of the drama. I mean, it has been squashed already. So for me, it's almost uncomfortable like, see. And I don't like to hear people like. defending me or talking like about any situation because I'm friends with all the girls and we're all we're all very cool I was texting Christine today oh shit so you're not going to talk shit about anyone Amanda I don't really have anything shitty to say about anybody I know I don't want to watch

if we get more seasons am I just that nice girl I know you guys I'm not I mean I if there's something to talk shit about I'll talk shit about it but I usually will say it to their face yeah not a shitty way. Yeah. That was, that's what was so great about you coming in on season two, like having the friendship that you had with Mary going back like 18 years, right? So how did you guys meet? So we met in, Breaker, are you roasting marshmallows? My daughter's roasting marshmallows in the kid. I'm like, I smell marshmallows. Wait, your daughter is Breaker and your son is Noah or the other way around? My son is Breaker, but I thought Breaker was doing it, but it's actually no. I love, I just had a son and I named him Noah and I, when you had this scene with your kids, that was the realest scene. And I said this also when I was like recapping the show on on Instagram. It's like, that was the realest. And I'm not, the show isn't fake. I know that. I know people are saying it. I'm not saying it is. I'm saying that was the realest moment the whole season. Like you were emotional. Your kids are like, I could only. I thought his name was Noah. And I was like, this is meant to be.

like my Noah's going to be like this sweet too. First of all, gorgeous kids. Second of all, how did you do it? Teach me your ways that you made them this like sweet and amazing. Noah, do you want to get on, do you want to say hi? She has marshmallow hanging from her lips. You want to say hi? This is my sweet Noah. Oh, so gorgeous. How tall are you? He is tall. I think she's like five, three and a half right now. You're almost my height. I'm fine. I'm fine. five, eight, and I stood next to her yesterday and took a photo, and I'm like, I don't even look tall anymore. I mean, these kids are, she made her, you know. Yeah.

My friend, I have a friend that I, like, talk too often over Zoom, and he's always like, where's Noah? Because Breaker will pop out, and he's always, like, all up in my business. And then Noah, like, she just comes in, like, once in a while she'll tiptoe through, and he's like, she's like, she's like a celebrity. Like, she only comes out, like, you never see her. I'm done. No, they are gorgeous. And that scene, again, like, first of all, how old is Breaker? He's nine. I don't think I know, I knew how to, like, how did he know where, that he was telling you that he's proud of you and that you should do, you know, the real estate stuff to make more money and to, where did that come from? I don't know. I mean, I'm very open with my kids.

we talk about our feeling. Look, I've had enough therapy, personally that I, like, I know how to, like, navigate motherhood. Like, we really talk about everything. I explain to them everything. I explain to them, you know, struggle. They know that they're, they know that they're not, like, underprivileged, but they also know that, you know, mommy has to work really hard.

And there are certain things that we don't have because we can't yet. Or they just get it. And I have to say as much, you know, my storyline is their father being gone, which he is and he still is. But I can't take all the credit. When he was around, he was an amazing father so far the past eight years. I have to give, I'm not even going to give him 50%. I'll give him 40%. I'll give him 40% of the credit. He helped raise them. It wasn't just me. And he's a very, was a very loyal, hands-on, dedicated interactive father. So, you know, they got it from both sides. very structured and very punctual and very, like, conservative.

He never said curse words in front of women or children. I say F ball. I mean, my kids hear me cuss all the time. I'm like the artistic ones. So they used to get this, like, really good balance of both. And now it's just me, but they still have, you know, got their good structure and stuff from their dad. Hey, guys, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I,

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DEO.com slash not skinny or use promo code, not skinny at checkout for 20% off your first order. So he's been gone for just a year, Amanda. It was a year on August 26th. But you broke up before that. We've been divorced since the kids were one. and two. We've been divorced for eight years. So the kids, for the past eight years, we go to their dad half the time and me half the time until a year and a month or a year in a month. So can I ask

what, what happened to him? Like, where is he? I don't know. You just don't know. Are you worried? I'm not really, I'm not concerned that he's, I'm not, I'm positive that he's alive. And I know that he's alive because I've had to get an attorney and we've had to file court records and I'm trying to get full custody. And at one point he submitted something to the ports where he did a change of address. And we traced it back, but it's a PO box of like a UPS store. So he, I mean, he's off the grid. Like he doesn't want, whatever is going on and I have no idea what it is, whatever it is, he doesn't want to be found right now. And for me, if he doesn't want to be found right now, then it's probably best that he is away until he's better or he wants to come back. I don't know.

But you're saying he went from being a punctual good thing, dad to... Amazing father. Like to one day not knowing where he is like that? Yes. I know. It sounds so crazy. And his family is unresponsive. I have probably 30 of his former NFL teammate, best friend.

Everybody reaches out to me. Everybody's looked for him for over a year. you know, I at one point, I filed a missing person's report, but they told me that because he had sent me an email and he said, my situation isn't good right now. I can't financially take care of the children. It's not safe for them to be with me. You need to keep them until my situation changes. And he sent me that email on September 1st of last year. And then when I tried to call, it was like no phone, no Instagram, no Facebook, no LinkedIn. Just one day, all of a sudden. gone. So I reached out to the family. I reached out to the sister. I've reached out to his extended family. Every time I send like a Facebook message to like his sister or his brother-in-law, the next day I'll be blocked. I reached out to his, I don't know if it's his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. It was his girlfriend at the time he disappeared. Reached out to her blocked on Instagram. I've had friends reach out. They'd be blocked now. It doesn't even have a Facebook page. I've sent his mother

numerous emails, text messages, voice memos. I went to, I sent it. I sent it. I sent it. on WhatsApp even so I could see if she checked it. She checked it. Never responded. And then I sent pictures of the kids like, look what you're missing out. Like what? Even if Ralph has had some sort of a breakdown or something, like you guys don't. You haven't. My kids were very close to their grandparents, to their aunts, to their uncle. And nobody, it's the most.

Like when I talk about it, people are just like, what? That's something's off. But this is, that's the truth. That's just what's going on. So because I've had to pick up the pieces over the past year and mend little broken hearts and talk about what maybe could have happened to Daddy or maybe what Daddy is going to or whatever, I'm to the point now that, you know, I went for a while. I was like, I want to find him and get him the rehab he needs if it's brain damage, if it's drugs. I don't know, but I felt like I would like to find him and rehabilitate him. And I still feel like that's where my heart is.

But right now, we're doing good. And we've kind of just settled into this new reality. And if he showed up on the doorstep right now, I think it would just rock our world even more. So I'm not, I'm not even prepared right at this point if he were to, like, show up tomorrow, you know? Because I don't know what that entails. I have no idea what state of mind he's in.

But you're not getting, like, help, right? So you're not getting child support or anything like that. I wasn't getting child support when he went around. No. Even though he was in their lives, he wasn't helping. He wasn't, he wasn't able. He wasn't in a place that he could financially give me support because after he retired from the NFL, he went through his money. It's a typical story. And so I didn't, I just didn't collect it from him. I did for the

first year and a half that we were divorced. He paid child support every month on time for a year and a half. And then after that, nothing. And that, I mean, it's been eight years. So he, he owes a lot of. And listen, let me tell you from, uh, experience of being a child to a single mom and a father that isn't in the picture. My mom went to court for years and years. And like it's crazy how the system works where like she didn't get it. Like I don't know how it works and and I don't want to bring it up to her because she's, you know, today after years of going and fighting and saying I'm not going to give up like he needs to like take responsibility. You're like how do the court like how does it

work that, you know, these, I'm not going to call, you know, your ex a deadbeat, but that deadbeat fathers can get away with it. It's crazy how the system works that, that it's not more enforced. I don't think that it's that way in California. I feel, I mean, I'll go after you. They will find you. They will. I don't have it. So why didn't you do it? I don't have it in my heart. I don't have it in my soul. I don't care that much because I would. You were able to provide for them like all these years. on your own fair no i was with somebody for five years i dated tay for five years oh right i dated tay he took care of us i worked barely you know and so i never felt like at that time it didn't make sense for me to ask for his money when i was you know i only after tay

and i broke up i did ask for it hey digs everyone tay digs and and he told me you know i don't have i can't and so i'm just i'm not your typical chick i feel like i'm I mean, now it's been so long. Yes, we could argue that, like, he owes it or whatever. But I went through so much when we got a divorce, like, the back and forth of just text and anger. He was so angry. And when it kind of settled down, it's so much more important for me to just have peace in my life. I would rather bust my ass and work 10 jobs than have to be, like, always, like, feeling like, anxious or, like, you know, blamed or guilty.

or somebody was angry. I just don't, I can't. You have such a good attitude. I just want to be happy and I feel like I've been blessed because I do have opportunities. I did have a boyfriend that took care of us for a while. I have a huge platform now. I'm making my own money and that feels so good. It feels so good.

So I would be, I'd probably pay him child support if he needed it at this point. I'm like, go. that's just me and listen like you're giving him a lot of credit for the kids and i'm sure he was a good dad but a lot of times kids from these kinds of homes that aren't typical and you know do have a mom like you that you're open and you're and you're giving them so much more because probably you're also making up for the dad not being there they just turn out to be special kids like you could tell like what nine-year-old will tell his mom like i'm proud of you and you'll make us more money and because there was a lot of like drama which I'm just trying to imagine your

situation like you were you was this happening while you were filming like the stuff with your ex and everything yeah we um it actually before we started filming he was still in the picture so this happened like literally a month maybe into filming so it's like I literally went to pick them up from school one day and they they told me about a situation and I'm not I'm share it but what had happened and I'm like walking out of the school like going on what what I had to drop the kids off at home with the nanny and then go to my open house and in the scene I'm with Michelle and Mary it was the scene where I did my first open house and Michelle Mary came to check up with me I had just come from like finding out some crazy thing about my kids

and their dad it was the day it was August 26 and I was like what and so when I was telling them, I couldn't even explain to him because that was day one and I didn't, I had no idea what was going on. Wait, you did tell them in the scene? I don't remember that. No, no, no. I didn't tell them. Like, I think I might have to get full custody of kids because of

something that I knew. And I was like, but I didn't know at that point, it was like right in the middle of everything. So I didn't know how much to share with the audience. I didn't know if he was going to be gone for a week, two weeks, a month. But seven and a half months later when we're still filming and nothing has changed,

I had to like share my story a little bit or else people were it was so wait you were filming for that long yeah we filmed for like seven months just season three season two and three we filmed yeah oh I got yeah because I'm going to work still like trying to figure out I just it was I mean it's still now it's like our new norm but like yes my kids are very sweet but what did you share though because I don't I said what did you share in the season something about custody? Yeah, I said that, you know, we don't know where he's at. And I get full custody because at this point, I couldn't even, like, switch them schools or take them to a therapist or anything without his consent because we have 50. So I'm still in this, like, custody battle with myself, basically, trying to get full custody because I need to be able to make decisions. If he's not going to come back and I want to move to Frickon Ask Back Arkansas, I want to be able to move to Ask That's crazy.

I didn't know it worked that way until now where I know this. the girl, I'm a friend that, you know, is in Vegas because her ex is there and she wants to leave with the kid to be with her family. And like, she can't. Yeah. That's so crazy. You can't. You just can't. I mean, I feel like at this point, if I wanted to take him to the fucking moon tomorrow, I could. I mean, I assume me like, who? Why? I've earned the right to do whatever I want with these children. And I will tell you this, if he does come back, it will not be, it will not, it will never go back to 50-50 I will not allow it because one even if he proves himself over months and months and months of being this great dad I will not risk this happening again yeah because it's too

fragile you know they're amazing kids but they're hurt there's this is the stuff that's gonna it's gonna come out later you know I'm here yeah you know there's issues that are there and breakers angry and no it's sad like they're both sad but breaker has right but listen kids from perfect, you know, families have issues, too. That's, you know, you got to remember that too. And I have friends that have mom and a dad, their whole lives. And I'm like, damn, you have more issues than I do. And my dad was like, disgusting, you know? You know, my therapist told me, she's like, kids don't, you need one good, it doesn't even have to be a parent. You need one good caretaker that loves you, that support you, that you,

and I know this from growing up, I had a shitty child. Like, I'll write a book one day. But I had this one woman who was my best friend's mom, and I knew that I couldn't disappoint her. And, like, kids need somebody to disappoint. If you feel like you don't have anybody to disappoint, you'll go off the rails and do crazy shit like I did in my time. Like, you need somebody that's checking in on, like, okay, I know you have a test on Thursday.

Did you study? Like, oh, shit, I have to study. I never had that growing up. So I, you know, you need one person to disappoint because have you ever, like, even a close friend or something, and you disappoint them. It's the cringiest feeling. Yeah. I mean, I guess unless you're like a crazy psycho,

it doesn't care, but I have like huge conscience and like I just, you know, and my kids have meat to discipline. So they're going to be fine. So you're doing well. That's amazing. Good for you. You're really like a great example. I'm getting there.

Hustling and we still live in it. We still live in a two bedroom apartment, but we're getting there. I have big plans, not just selling sunset. I have a, I have a, vision of like an empire and I'm going to make happen it kills me so you're manifesting yeah hell yeah I write hell yeah thing down really I have a vision book and I've written I haven't written in it for a while I just I think about things like I have ADD so bad I probably couldn't even find it in the bookshop somewhere but I I know that six years ago I know some things that I wrote six

years ago and stuff has happened like wait was reality TV on that list not reality TV. And it's not even where it's where it's going to be. I wrote in my vision book six years ago. I will one day post my own show on a major network about interior design. And maybe one day I will after selling. Let's put on a vision board, girl. Let's put on a vision board. Yeah. I feel it. So what made you aside from money want to do more than the staging and interior design, which you're like so good at and like had that as a job or was it just like the financial money and and you're doing well i had no desire to be a real estate agent because to me it was going to be too hard it was like it was like studying when i do i can decorate that's my gift that's my passion real estate is very hard i had to

learn a new a new skill and step out of my comfort zone and so yeah you know but i also wanted to i wanted to join the cast and it wasn't a show about interior decorating it was a show about real estate. So I have been on the show with my friends if I didn't get my license. You know, I was like, it just made sense to do it. It just made sense to get it. It's just one more way to make money. And it's helped me get a platform so that I can talk about things like, I'll write a book one day.

There's things that I want to share with people to help people. And before this show, I would tell my life story to somebody. And they'd be like, oh, my God, you should write a book. And I'm like, who's going to read it? Why? Who's going to just pick up a book and read a story about some random. them chick that they don't know. And now people are starting to want to listen to me.

So I want to make sure that, you know, I get that platform so that I can help people and help little kids and help single moms and, you know, help people recovering. I read that you wanted, that you were planning to start like a YouTube thing. Is that happening? A YouTube, like, mother. I was going to, yeah, I was going to. I had a girlfriend who I was going to do that with. And honestly, the show.

it blew up. This was like right at the beginning when season two came out. We had this big plan. And season two is when it blew up, right? Like I feel like season one, like I remember when I started watching season two, the whole world was like watching season two

and going back to season one. Like something happened. You know, maybe it was even. Corona happened and nobody can leave. And by the time our show came out, everybody had finished Netflix. So they're like looking for it. So it worked out very well for us.

That's what I was going to say. That's legit what I was going to say. It was like it was legit the beginning of COVID and everyone was looking for shit to watch. And it was like, wait, what about this show? We got so lucky because we did our last, you know, the face-to-face interviews when I'm like, well, I'm like just like talking. The confessional. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we had our last day of those, you know, because we go in the studio one by one and we film in the office, actually.

And we had our last day of confessionals 24 hours before L.A. got put on a complete lockdown. So that was our last day of filming. It was a wrap. They got everything in the can, 24 hours before the lockdown. So they were able to edit it and get it out. Otherwise, we'd probably still be waiting to finish up the end of the season. So it just, it was perfect timing.

It was just like, it was good. It was good for us. It was good. But there's no, but season four, we need a season four, you know? I know. Oh, we need a season four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Yeah, so you're saying reality TV wasn't on your list, but you were a model, right, before you got into like interior design? Yeah.

So, well, I always have done, I've always been an interior decorator because that's what I went to school for and that's what I'm good out. I just chose not to do it as a profession because when I moved to L.A., I started modeling and I was just doing well as a scene. I wasn't married. I hadn't met my husband yet. I mean, this is, I've been here for 20 years. So this is. Wait, did you move to L.A. to model, like to be a model? I moved to L.A. to do something on television or in magazines.

I hadn't really quite figured it out, but I knew I wanted to do, like, commercials. I always liked to model. I did, like, boot, like, photo shoots when I was, like, a kid. Because I was the, I wasn't the cute kid at my school. Like, I was the, I was the only black kid in my whole school from kindergarten to 12th grade. I was really poor. I had a- Wait, you said it was Midwest. right? Where in the Midwest?

Southern Indiana, like very close to like Kentucky. Oh, wow. Right close to Louisville where we won't even go there right now. But wait, is it you said you were the only black kid from kindergarten to 12th grade? I went to the same school for 12th for the whole time. So, and I was only black. I think there was one girl that was, I don't even know if she was mixed, but she was really quiet and it was almost like she wasn't there. I don't know a poor girl.

I was like the only black kid. And we were poor and my mom was white and my mom had no idea. about to do my hair. So I had a pro. And then when it would get too long and she couldn't home it out anymore because I'd like scream and cry. She buds it off. So I looked like a boy. I wore my brother's like old, hand me down clothes. I always had like bad clothes. So I was never like this pretty girl. I was always like the cool friend that they'd be like, hey, Amanda, can you give this note to Jamie and ask her to go with me? Like I was that girl. So were you dying to get out of that like small town? I wanted to be in the model. Like I just would look into me when I was a kid and

take my giant pro with like so and i would put i would put my shoulders up really high so that you couldn't see where the bottom of my hair ended and it would feel like it would look like i had long hair i'd be like i wonder what i'm going to look like when i'm 16 and i was like i want to look like Whitney houston i thought she was so beautiful and then fast forward i like came into my own around like you know once i was out on my own and i learned about hair relaxers and i met the sisters in college and like they kind of hooked me up and showed me like what to do and then it was like I was just pretty one day because people told me and not I don't believe that I feel like you were probably always pretty and then you just probably to you or probably maybe to people in

New York or California or other countries but not in there neck Indiana I wasn't people are so racist and so backwards I wasn't but it feels like you did have I don't know why it feels like you somehow had like an inner confidence even though I had to build a really tough like outer shelf for more than one reason not even just because of my home life but because of at school I would hear racism all around me and I mean people would this is how redneck my school was people would wear shirts to school with a confederate flag on them that said it's a white thing you wouldn't understand. No.

That was allowed. Wait, so your dad was Nigerian, like born in Nigeria? 50% Nigerian. But I didn't, I wasn't raised with my biological father. I was raised with a white stepdad and my white mom. So my dad wasn't in the picture. He was, I didn't come, I didn't get close to him until like eight years ago. And now, and now you're in touch with that?

Super close. And I love him dearly, but I didn't know him growing up. Oh, you do have a crazy story. Like one hour podcast is not enough with you. That's just, I just told, yeah, there's a lot of, there's a big story. But so anyway, I just, I still had this like insecure, like, you know, not. It's like ugly duckling syndrome. Like, I'm the pretty girl, but I just wasn't ever pretty, so I'm cool.

But you were, you were tall because you're five eight. So that was probably you did stand, like, tall and. I was really really good at gymnastics. and dance. And so people like, because I was a cheerleader. And I was like, I hung around with all the popular girls. So I was popular by association. Not because I had the fancy house or the best clothes or the nice spot, nothing.

I was the girl that like, I would be at a party, like a high school kegger party. And I'd hear some redneck, white trashed classmate telling a black joke. And I'd walk up and I'd finish the punchline to make them feel like an asshole. And they'd be like, oh, you know, we're not racist against you, man. just and they say the N-word and I'm like where I this is what I'm surrounded by so my whole and then when I got into college like I remember I went to junior college first and all of a sudden all the black guys were like oh you just date white guys like you don't even like black guys you don't like the brothers and I'm like I've never met one like so I don't you know I've only dated white guys yeah that's all there was and then the black girls would be like somebody needs to tell her she's black and she ain't white and so I was just like what I was so confused like the black girls didn't when I'd kick it with me because I was too white. The black guys thought I wanted nothing to do with them. So I was like just a late.

And then I'm just like, dude, what's the fuck? Like I'm, first of all, I'm mixed so you don't get to stay on black or right. Yeah, it was a whole trip. And then I moved to L.A. And everybody's like, what are you? Are you Persian? Are you, are you Hispanic? Are you Latin?

Are you Mexican? Are you Egyptian? I'm like, all of a sudden, I was everything but black. Yeah. And so, wait, tell us a little bit of how you met. and Taye Diggs and how did you go how did you you were dating it for like five years no yeah so I met I met Tay about a year and a half after my divorce so after my divorce I dated a couple people but nothing's oh right because you your ex is also like an NFL player so you were dating people

like yeah look my friends I've dated so many regular dudes like regular dudes I'll try it I want to date a regular dude and then my friends don't remember any of the regular dudes and they remember the two fancy dudes okay i've dated like four fancy they're like why wait who are the other fancy people tell us uh-huh hold on yeah so i um i've dated so many regular dudes i'm like you guys don't remember when i dated uh this guy and this guy and this guy you don't remember them and then they're like why don't you just date somebody regular and i'm like you know what i'm not fucking regular okay sorry not regular

and I I have a big personality and I like big personality and I like they're ambitious yeah and they go together like you have a big personality and then you date someone with a big personality it doesn't like clash

sometimes yeah I mean I'm not yeah you're like maybe I should date a nerd next it's intriguing to me to like see people doing what I like vision myself like in one day like big I'm gonna be like I'm gonna so it's like it was a turn on or it's a turn on whatever um and I have a particular height I'm kind of when you got with Tay Diggs was it after his divorce his yeah yeah yes I didn't no I don't know if it was

if he got married to Idina how do you say no he and Edina were married for like 14 years and before before before I I had been divorced about a year and a half when I met Tay. He'd only been divorced, like, maybe five months. I was the first person that he, like... He is so good-looking. I'm just, like, picturing him in my brain right now. I'm like, damn.

He's a beautiful human being. And you broke up, like, you're good, though? Because he was on the show, too. He had, like, a cameo. Yeah, we're good. Well, yeah, because I introduced him to marry. And that season one, they were... He was looking for a house.

This was after we broke up. Because we all... We lived together. Yeah. We all lived. together. His son is the same age as my daughter. They still, we still have play dates and we, I'll go

to Adina's house and drop my kids off and they'll play with her over there and sleep over with his son Walker. Hey, we'll come over here and pick up my kids. I took Walker to the beach with us like three, four months ago. Why did you break up then? You were probably such a beautiful couple. It just was, there's a lot,

a lot of things. We've both, neither one of us were in the right yet to date. I don't, I think that if you ever date somebody, like If you're the first serious relationship that somebody has fresh out of a divorce, it's probably never going to work. It's not going to work. He wasn't.

I mean, but it worked for a while. You dated for like years. We dated for almost five years. But, you know, we, at the end of the day, we're not, we're better friends and we're cool, you know. Wait, so you said you introduced him to marry, but you never ended up telling me your ADD is like impacting me now and blaming you. God is so bad. You, you, you, I'm all my men. You never told me how you and Mary know each other from 18 years.

Is she from the Midwest, too? She is, but we didn't meet until we lived in L.A. So we were at a party one night. And she's like, you look really familiar with your name. I told her. She's like, you look so familiar. And I was like being a shitster. I said, I don't know, maybe you saw me like on a commercial or like a billboard.

Who said that? And at that time, I hadn't even done a commercial or a billboard. Oh, my God, I can't. See, your confidence was like, always bigger than you. I was buzz. It was an after-arst party. So, and she goes, no, wait a minute. Do you know Eric Anderson? And I was like, yeah, that's my ex-boyfriend. This is a guy that I dated when I lived in Indiana. And she goes, oh, my God, I knew it. She's like, I'm married. Eric's best friend from high school. And I was like, oh, my God, you're married because I'd always heard him talk about Mary, Mary, Mary, but I never seen a picture. wait so a guy you dated in college was best friends with mary in high school yes okay

mary and i met at a party in l-a she's like yeah it's so familiar i'm like and then and then when she said that i was like oh holy shit small world we hug i think we were roommates like the next week and we have been glued to the hip since no stop really that's crazy and you guys i mean she's a single mom too kind of right yeah i mean yeah totally i'm her son isn't you know he's a yeah with like 20 something yeah but it's I've known I've known Austin since he was five

I'm Auntie Amanda like listen Amanda it's hard for me when I talk to because like I look at you and you're not 43 so when you say things like my 14 year old son and I mean no he's nine how old is me nine nine my daughter's 10 oh so gorgy

and I love Noah even though I name my son Noah like I'm like damn for a girl it's also so cool, you know? I like different names. Wait, we like didn't even talk selling sunset stuff. And because I mean, we're like obsessed with it, but also like, you know, there's there's that petty drama going on. And then there's like real life, which a lot of the time in reality TV, it's like the petty stuff is like more yellow and like it kind of gets on the show.

But your real life is even more interesting. I wanted to. Okay, so I wanted to ask you. We were talking about you being late, but that's not that interesting. Jason reprimanded you. Like, who cares? You know what's so funny, though, watching it back?

Is late to everything. Not his, like, listing appointment. Not for clients, but, like, the other day we were supposed to do, like, an interview together and our public, because Jason and Mary and I have the same publisher. And she called, she's like, Jason's going to be 30 minutes late,

so they're going to rearrange. I'm like, that little shit. And then, like, we were at a photo shoot the other day. Mary and Jason and I had a photo shoot together. And they're like, Jason's not coming until like the end. And I'm like, you know what, Jason? And then he was so busy when he got there. He was like, okay, guys, I want to, you know, I need to get my picture.

I never get to get my picture because he like had to bounce. And I was like, bro, I'm the only one paying a nanny to be here. Like, can you let me have, you know? Wait, but I, so when I was watching it back and, and they were like waiting for you for the meeting, when you watch things the second time, you catch little things and what kind of annoyed me and I wanted to ask you about it. And I know it's really, you filmed it a while ago. But Heather was like, yeah, she's like late for everything.

She, like, had to say something. I was just wondering, like, if you felt anything about it, like, why she would care about you being late. Are you also good friends with her? That sucks, like, if you're cool with everyone. I know. I am actually. I'm actually closer to Heather than you would ever imagine because what happened was we, we squashed our beef, like, mid-season, like, towards the end of season.

I talk about in season, but to me, it was like, Right. But in TV world, you guys saw, towards the end of season two, we were already like getting kind of over. We were getting there, you know. And then season three, Jason put us on a project together and we were both like. Right. And then you were cool. And then you got cool. It worked out very nicely. And I'm going to tell you at Heather, because we get the screener, you know, before everybody else sees it. And so, and we were all on COVID. So we couldn't all watch it together. So we all watched it separately from our homes or apartments or whatever. She called me. I hadn't even seen the season yet because I was like, busy with kids. I had this screener for like five days before I ever saw it. And they, she called me and she was like, I just want to say, I'm so sorry for giving you such a hard time.

Because, you know, we're not in every, we're not in each other's scenes. Like there's days that I don't film that they, I don't know what they're filming. I don't know what they're talking about. I don't know what's going.

She's like, I didn't realize like how much you were actually going through. And I, I just, I feel so bad for giving you such a hard time. And now she's like step mommy. And so they have Tark and her have their, his kids like half the time. And, you know, they don't have a nanny right now because they've just chose to like, spend more time with the kids.

And she's like, Amanda, I don't know how you do it. She's like, I'm up at 5.30 in the morning. I'm cooking. I'm like, she's like, I'm exhausted. So she. Because, yeah, because I was kind of, it was funny to me when she was comparing herself, like when, when, when you would talk about being a single mom or like being a mom. No, I can't deal with you right now. You like my wine glass?

This is how ghetto I am. I do, actually. When Heather was being like, kind of like, yeah, same. Like, I'm also a single mom. It was kind of, it was kind of funny because she was, she kind of, her relationship with Tarek just kind of got on the show. And although he has kids, it's like not the same as you, you know, having your kids. It's so funny. People, but now she's experienced it like half time.

And I'm telling you, every time we're together, she's like, girl. I mean, and she's so sweet about it, to the point that a few weeks ago, maybe saw on Instagram, Mary, Michelle and Heather and I got together. We had a girl's day. And we took Tart's boat. Oh, oh, yeah. I saw the butt shot. I was like, none of you have butts. Maybe you have a little butt, but.

I have a butt. What? Listen, all those white girls trying to, like, push out their, like, bones. I was like, guys. No. And Mary used to have a butt. And then she, I don't know, she got so thin. She lost.

Mary actually used to have a really good butt. And now she's got, she's so tiny. I'm like, what happened to your? Oh, she wasn't always this tiny? No, she's shrinking by the second. Oh, she is. Anyway, Heather made it. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to join because I didn't have a nanny.

And Heather was like, we want you to come. So she literally had, she set up to where Tarek's step sister or half sister or something. She's like, we'll pick you guys up in this French. We're like, we'll send the car for you. And then she picked all of the girls up in West Hollywood, including my kids. And then she's like, we'll have Tark's sister and watch them at our house while we have a boat. So she, like, set up and made sure I had a thing. Oh, that's so sweet.

That is really sweet. Wait, is Tarek loaded? Tartic, yeah, he's totally loaded. I'm not, so everyone, like, knows Tarek. I didn't know, like, he's, what is he on HGTV? I didn't know who he was until Heather. But, yeah, he has, like, two shows on HGTV. Right.

So I didn't know him. And everyone's like, Tarek, Tark, I didn't even know. So he's had a very successful, like, I don't even know how many seasons of the shows that he has on HGTV. But aside from that, he's like a real estate investor slash developer. So he's, yeah, he's good. He flipped houses and he's very, he's very successful. Oh, that's crazy.

I mean, he's crazy. He's like eight, nine Karen. Damn. Yeah. Damn. So you and Crischel are also cool right now, right? because I see you guys are commenting on each other's photos like up the wazoo. You hate it.

You're like, who else are you friends with them? I'm like, come on, nothing or giving me nothing? Well, maybe if we get more seasons, they can cast somebody new that I just don't like. No, but listen, we have to talk about before we unfortunately are done, is that when you came in season two, I said it from the beginning, you were a breath of fresh air, you were kind of like the down to earth, non-blonde, even though you were in L.A. for so many years, like the non kind of like LA, you just were cool. Like, just put it that way.

You were just cool. And you had the guts. Like, I told you, my brother-in-law is obsessed with you. And he was like, you have to ask her. And I was like, what do I have to ask her? And he's like, how did she have the guts to like stand up to Christel, like, to Christine? The way that you did. Like, you were kind of like Mary's like, which I'm jealous.

Like, I love friendships like that. like the way you stand up for Mary and when she was trying on dresses and you literally like a bodyguard and you were like no you were such a good friend and you had such a like coming in and Christine was considered kind of like the scary mean girl bitchy one sorry Noah um and you had the the the the the hoevils to kind of stand up to her and and how did how did you have that i'm not scared of anything or anybody first of all yeah i i know i look young 43 years old like there's just certain things that i don't know i just i believe i'm a very good friend and i would do the same thing for christine if i felt like somebody was talking shit

about her because i really like christine and i knew christine before i ever joined the broker so i you know i've known her for probably six years or so how do you how did you know her too because she So Christine, when I was dating Tay, this is how, like, well, I'm referencing it as this because of the time. When I was dating Tay, we all used to, like, go out as a group. Because I've been best friends with, you know, Mary, Jason and Brett. So we would all go out. And then they have this friend Peter, who is also, he works with the broker. She's just not on the show.

Christine was dating Peter at the time. And so I would always see her when we'd go to group dinners or we would have like open-time parties. So I got to know her through that. Was she always like that? Like, did she always dress like that, look like that, everything? She's always been like, she's always had like red bottom shoes and fancy purses. And she's always been fancy. Like, she's always had beautiful hair and the perfect.

I love how you use the word fancy. I love it. Oh, and we didn't go back to the other two fancy people you dated. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Tay Diggs. Yeah. Your ex who was, what, Ralph?

I know. Ralph wasn't even that, I don't even consider him that fancy because he wasn't. Okay, let's take him off. Let's take him off the fan to us. He didn't promote himself as like a baller, you know? He was, to me, he was, I was a waitress and he was my customer and came into the restaurant at the time. I didn't know he was a football player. I just thought he was super hot.

And then we just started talking after my shift. And like, he actually lied to me at first. He told me he was a real estate agent. And then like after a couple weeks of dating, I go to his house and I'm like, wow, you really like football. There's like all these jerseys and football and all this. And then he told me because he said he didn't like put that out there to girls first like right away because he didn't want people to just date him because he was in the NFL. Okay, Ralph. All right.

Okay, smooth guy. So when I first moved to L.A. about probably a year after being here, I dated J.C. Shaze from Insink. And I dated him for like probably off and on, like for me. Many years. Wait, and what year was that? Like 2001. So they were like in sync. They were like in sync.

Like Mary and I would go to like the concerts and be cool. Like we were like, we thought we were so cool. And J.C. is still to this. He was so cute. One of my closest friends. I love. Stop. What does he look like today?

Is he still hot? I think, I mean, I'll always think he's hot because, you know, I've known him for so long. but um i don't know he looks different but he doesn't he just he still has he still looks like jc he's just a little bit older his hair's a little bit longer but he's so sweet he's literally one of the kindest humans he has helped me along the way also like i've really oh yeah we've been i've been in like a pickle before and been like i like i can't pay this bill and they're going to like turn off my phone or something and he'll be like i'll help you out like we have what is he doing in life though now he still he writes music he produces me oh really no he's still

yeah okay fourth fancy person no no no we're not considering ralb okay jc chasez a really good one um so this was very short-lived and i talked about it on a few interviews last week because my dumb dumb i'm green at press so i'm like oh i have my first press with like the irish press oh i have my first press with like the Irish press. Oh, I have a cute story. I dated an Irish rocker at one point. And now it's like, every, they're like, I didn't realize how big he is over there.

Because here, he's not like that big. I didn't even know who he was when I met him. So I probably won't know either. Who is it? Well, you will. You know the band The Script? Yes. The lead singer of the script.

So right after Ralph and I got a divorce, I met this guy in a bar and I was super cute. And like, oh, I love this song. break even everybody loves this song oh I want to listen to it now it's such a good song at this bar I was with my friend and um

in there and it was we were at an Irish club and I heard these Irish accents and I was like wait are you guys from Ireland and they're like yeah wait it's this guy yeah oh my god we're here shooting a music video we're in a band and I was like oh that's so cool

and I thought in my head because I didn't know who they were I was like, oh, that's cool, this little Irish band. They're here in big old Hollywood, like, going to make their big debut. And then, like, we started talking, and I was with my girlfriend, and he's like, you guys should come to the, like, video shoot tomorrow. And she was married, so she couldn't. I was like, heck yeah, I was newly single. I was like, where is it?

What do I wear? Tell me what time to be there. So I go thinking that it's like this new band from Ireland that's like here making their first music video. And they're shooting a song with Will I Amper? from the black eyepies. I was like, who are these people?

No, I really need to listen to that song right now. I miss it. It used to be my like, oh, I love it. I love it. We dated for like, he flew me to London.

We had this whirlwind like, I was like, oh my God, I'm in love. I'm going to marry a rock star from London. And we, I don't know, four or five months later.

We lived in different countries. Right. Fresh out of a divorce. with a one and two year old and he was like 30 with no kids like I was already 36 how do you even have a one and two year old no I had a one and two year old no how though I'm trying to think like pregnancy wise that means that you got pregnant yeah no I was six and a half months old when I got pregnant with breaker oh mj no I'm trying to think that's crazy they're 16 and a half months but aren't you so happy like it feels like

like probably so amazing right now to have them, you know, be in your life and be at that age where they're like, they can wipe their own asses, tie their own shoes, get in and out of the car themselves. No. Talk to you about life. Yeah. No, that's amazing. Amanda, listen, I, first of all, you have to come back on the podcast because, like, we didn't get, like, like an hour went by and we didn't even get to talk about half the shit that I wanted to because of, because of you. No. And you're amazing, and I felt even more in love with you, you know, getting to know you more on the show. So thank you so much for coming on. Everyone go follow Amanda Smith, which is so funny that your first name is so unique and your last name is Smith.

I know, right. Well, then when I was married to their dad, my last name went from Smith to Brown. Are you going to hyphenate it? It's like, yeah, Brown Smith. No, no, thank you. So everyone go follow Amanda. Let's watch out for what she has in store and for season four. And we love you.

Thank you so much for coming on. Bye. Bye. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoooo.

you guys so much for listening and i'll see you next tuesday