Not Skinny But Not Fat - FRANCESCA FARAGO IS A NEW WOMAN

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

It's been a year! No literally! Francesca Farago is back on the pod giving us all the updates on her life. We talk all about her engagement and that gorgeous ring, her plans of expanding her family with Jesse, Netflix's insane villain edit of her Perfect Match season, and what she thinks of a certain Dancing With the Stars' rumored relationship!Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey, Bestie, I'm Taylor. And I'm Morgan. We are the host of Creeps and Crimes Podcasts. Every Thursday, Morgan takes us on a deep dive into a paranormal case or a conspiracy theory. And Taylor will bring you a detailed and accurate reporting on a true crime case. Since we launched in 2020, we have never missed a Thursday. With over 160 episodes ready for you to binge, you will never run out of cases.

And you can follow along on Instagram at Creeps and Crimes Podcast. Whether you're in the car or enjoying a glass of wine, Tune in every Thursday to Creeps and Crimes. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonatha on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking about your best friends in your living room.

I haven't talked to in so long. I know. I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I don't know if people know that this is Francesca's third time on the pod, which doesn't happen. Like, I seriously don't have guests three times.

So you should know that you're very lucky. I feel honored. I've been watching your career and everything just, like, blow up. And I'm, like, super happy for you. I love all of your interviews and all your social media. I'm like, she's killing it. I love you. I don't know if people know, but, like, we love each other.

I remember when you first came on after too out to handle. And I told you, I was like, there's something about you that isn't what it seems. It's like you came on so hot, fucking banging body, you know, causing trouble. in that villa oh my god what year was that like 2018 19 it was filmed in 2019 yeah and then it came out 2020 and i remember even telling you that like my husband watched it with me and he was like she's not a dumb bitch like like we would talk about it we would be like you know first impressions can be deceiving but like we really would talk about how you're more than that how you're more than just like this like hot chick on tv and it really for us it came

across like even from too out to handle like so I just want you to know that I've always thought that I appreciate that thank you and then your career also I mean it wasn't 15 minutes it kept done going after that reality show well you blew up more than anyone on Instagram yeah I remember we even talked about it we were like how much were you before it was like five million followers in like a week it was crazy and I remember then that it was like a lot lot of men. Did that change at all since, like, you've started hearing other stuff? My TikTok following is like 85% women and my Instagram following is like 65% women. So it definitely flipped a little bit. Yeah. And my bikini page for my brand, I always thought

it would be more men, but it's like 98% women that follow my bikini page, which is crazy. Because I thought it would definitely be like more guys trying to like, you know, see me and girls and bikinis. But it's all women, which is amazing. I love that. So let's talk about Frankie a little bit. So you did too hot to handle when you were on the first time. It was right after. And you were still with Harry. Shall I remind you, Jousy? Which by the way, he's still around and kicking. Like, you know that I think about you with that? Because like I never got it. Maybe because I like you. But like I never got it. I was like, okay. And then I just. I saw him like get a gig, get another gig, or like get a pot, like, be on podcast. And I'm like, oh, he's still like around. And then he was just on dancing with the stars, like, do you have any feelings about that? I don't really have any feelings about it.

I think it's weird, but I don't know. I'm, it's kind of weird. I don't know. I just don't know how. I don't know how considering the things that come out of his mouth on social media and like how disrespectful he is towards women, I'm shocked that women even like enjoy watching him. but I feel like he like the persona he puts out there is like different it's like this like good guy well now he also was team really i don't know he's like teamed up with the Mormon girl and like maybe that's like you know rubbing off on his image you know what I mean yeah maybe I don't know if you really listen to the things that he says he's like one of the most degrading people okay so I don't I don't actually listen to no me neither me neither I people would just constantly tag me like this is one of the that I'm never going to get away from

because people still come on on my videos asking about him and people will tag me in everything. Like, I always get tagged. So I see kind of, not willingly, but it's kind of shoved in my face things that he says and does.

And I'm like, how? But you're not blocked. You're not blocked on each other social media. No, yeah. There's blocks. Oh, there's blocks. Yeah. But I think it's just like the white male privilege.

It's just like Matt Rife. It's like inescapable. Like they can say and do whatever they want and they're never going to be canceled because they're stereotypically attractive white male. So did you watch his stand-up? So that Matt Rife guy, I also only found out about him when his Netflix special came out and when all the drama was surrounding things that he said, he was making fun of, like, really horrible things.

Yeah. I don't follow it, but I have a stepchild who's 15 and they are obsessed with TikTok drama and they told me all about the Matt Rife stuff. So I was just shocked with what I was seeing. You have a stepchild. Okay, let's let's get into that because your life has really changed since we last talk. You were the first time you were with Harry, second time you had just broken up, you were gallivanting the world, you were having fun. You were maybe hooking up with Tanna Manjou, maybe this, maybe that all this stuff was happening.

And then you found the love of your life. I know. Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Yeah, we met on TikTok, well, I interviewed him for a TikTok Pride event in 2021 or 2022. I honestly forget. Like you were just paired up to interview. Yeah, I like TikTok hired me to host a Pride event.

So I interviewed three Trailblazers and he was one of the Trailblazers that I interviewed. And I saw him over Zoom and I was just like, you're so cute. I knew right away right when I saw him. I like ran around the house after I was living in Mexico at the time because of like the pandemic and stuff. And I was like, I found my new boyfriend. So you interviewed Jesse over Zoom. You felt some like instant click. You were running around the house being like I found my boyfriend.

Yeah, I knew like right when I saw him that I had found someone that I wanted to be with. And I was currently living in Mexico so I wasn't able to see him or like meet him in person. So we like spent a little bit like kind of sexting and like sending each other like sexy photos. And then right when I got back to LA, we went on our first date like the night I landed. I like got ready and like we went to like EPL. pee like on a rooftop and got drunk had our first kiss and then it was kind of history after that well we broke up for a bit because I got stuck in Canada because I had an issue with my visa and I was stuck there for four months so we had broken up because we were dating for like a week and then I got

stuck in Canada for four months so we had broken up and during the breakup I had got the opportunity to go on perfect match so I was like well I can't get we can't get back together when I'm back in LA because I have to leave and film a dating show so we like held off for a bit still kept in contact and then I filmed perfect match. It went horribly. So right when I got back, I hit him up and I was like, hey, are you still single? And he's like, I've been waiting for you. So I was like, okay. And then we just got back together. So let's backtrack. First of all, you dated women, you dated men, but have you ever dated anybody trans before, Jesse? Not seriously. No. Not seriously. I've never like, not boyfriend, girlfriend or girlfriend,

but you were like open to it. Yeah. I was excited for it, honestly. What do you mean you were excited for I don't know. I was just like, he's cool. And it was something more new to me, but I was, I just thought he was so cool. I'm like, everything about him so cool. The fact that he was a parent, is a parent. He raised a child by himself. Like, gave birth when he was 17. Like, I thought his whole story was so beautiful. And I thought his kid was so cool. So I was like just really excited for the relationship and like getting to know him better. We met. That's so wild. Did you have a lot of questions? Like, were you constantly trying to learn more about him and, like, just that whole world that you were new to? There was things that I had to learn a little bit with, like, proper terminology that I wasn't aware of. And, like, of course, like, you learn about someone's body and what they're comfortable with, what they're not comfortable with. It was like a learning process when we first met. Process.

I love your Canadian accent. Jesse says I say that weird, too. Process. It sounds a little bridge. Oh, you say process? Yeah. Oh, yeah, processing. And then you also, I mean, so you're stepping into this new kind of relationship.

You're with a trans person for the first time. But then also this person has a child who's a teenager, 15. Yeah. They were 12 when we met. So they were still kind of like a little younger. Now, they have fully changed since I met them. They're a full teenager. They have their sassy.

They have attitude. They like, you know, when you're a teenager, when I were a teenager, when I was 15. I was, I was a mess. Like, I didn't know what I wanted. I thought the world was against me. I was like so dramatic. And I was partying. We're lucky with Arlo. Like they don't, they're against drinking. They're against drugs. They're against partying. They kind of want to like just talk about politics and the news and they want to draw. And they're like a really cool, good kid. So we definitely got lucky. Do they call you mom or is that mom? They don't call me mom, but they do call me their stepmom. like two people so what does arlo call jesse dad dad okay yeah when did when did jessie actually

transition four years ago oh four years ago yeah i know arlo didn't start using dad until probably about a year and a half into the transition but yeah i think to other people they call me stepmom and in the car they'll be like talking to their friends and they're like oh i'm in the car with my stepmom And I'm like, that's really cute. You're like a milk. Thank you very much. They got me a Mother's Day present this year. And I literally cried and boldly.

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you're out of this phase or whatever, whatever. So I don't know if they really thought that I was going to not end up with someone who was like just cis and heterosexual. So it was a little bit like at the beginning, they didn't think it was serious. And obviously after we got engaged, like then my mom like started to accept it and started to really love Jesse and get to know him. And now they're so close. And now my dad loves him. Like he's just part of the family now. But it took a little bit for them to like fully understand and like be accepting of the relationship. Well, that's great though that they that they are. I mean, that that is the most important. So you weren't like angry at the

beginning. Like you understood that it might take some time. I understood that it was going to take a little bit of time. But they knew like my parents know if they were to never accept my partner. I would cut my parents off in a heartbeat. Like they knew that from day one. Like, I would never make someone I'm in a relationship with feel weird if my parents were being weird. But my dad's sister is gay and she brought home someone who was trans. for Christmas when I was 13 and that's the first time I learned of the word trans. I didn't even know what that was. So it's in the family, but there's not a lot of queerness in my family. I have like one gay cousin and then my aunt and that's it. Everyone else is just like straight or unless

they're in the closet. I don't know. But so I'm like kind of the odd man out. Well, it's nice that you're exposing them to it in a way. Yeah. Do you feel like you have this like responsibility now that you're dating somebody, they're dating somebody trans that you have. have to, like, advocate or want to advocate or, like, explain to people. I know, like, with Cushel from Selling Sunset, like, you know, dating G, she did take on the role of, like, explaining to her, you know, followers, like, about being non-binary and about, you know, so do you feel like you had to take that on? I think I definitely make sure I always defend him.

If there is crazy comments, I call him out, and I'm pretty savage back to people who are mean. but I didn't take on the role of kind of explaining it because I feel like it's not necessarily my story to explain and unless you're a trans person or someone who is non-binary you don't understand that experience so I defend him and I have his back but when it comes to like explaining to people he has that role and his kids non-binary so I know we're going home for Christmas and I don't even know how it's going to happen like with my non-ness she's like 80 and super Italian and she's not going to understand at all like she doesn't she doesn't know jessie's trans maybe she has an idea but we've never spoken

about it so it'll be interesting to see how the dynamic is with arlo because in ottawa like my small town like no one's trans no one's non-binary everyone's just like either gay or sis so it'll be interesting to see how i have to like tell her are you going to nod maybe because she's 80 like are you thinking maybe you just don't say anything we're thinking of just going in and like picking a gender and assigning that to Arlo and just being like, okay, this is his son, you know? But it might come up in conversation. I have some family members that are sassy and like loud and kind of like poke. So we'll see how drunk everyone gets.

Okay. So you told me about the timeline. You were dating for a week who gets stuck in Canada. You decide to break it off because you were stuck there. And then you got this show perfect match. And because of that timeline, people were like, was she dating something? somebody, right? Like, how did they, how did they kind of figure that out even if you were only dating Jesse for like a little bit before the show started filming? I think because when the show

had aired, I was in a relationship already. Like, I had posted, me and Jesse became official online at his birthday in August of 2022. And the show came out February, 2023. So we were public for like six months before the show came out. So people don't realize that the show was filmed a year or so prior. So all they know is that the show's out and I'm dating someone, but how am I dating someone? And I was just there last week filming the show. So they don't understand like the timelines. But I explained it a bunch of times. And there was also a girl in the show who was who had a boyfriend on the show who was running around saying that I was dating someone while I was filming. So it kind of just worked out like that. But I feel like. But you don't.

I mean, at the end of the day, like, you went in single to perfect match. And you were willing, even though you like, like, like, hit it off, you were willing to, like, explore this to the max and maybe leave with somebody. Yeah. And that didn't. Well, I didn't really have high hopes, to be honest. Why? Just after my experience with Too Out to Handel was pretty bad. And my, like, breakup after Too Out to Handel was pretty bad.

So I went into it thinking every male and female on this show is, how? has been on dating shows or been on Netflix shows, and I question people's intentions. And I know the caliber of men that they cast for these shows. They're not like career-orientated or like successful. They're kind of just like reality TV dudes. So I wasn't expecting to find my prince charming in this pool of reality TV men. What were your intentions for going on?

Because first of all, I am with you. I would, like, if my intentions were like, you know, to add this to my resume. I would still judge other people for doing it. So is that, were you feeling like this is another career opportunity, but judging people that were doing the same thing? I think every single person that went on that show and every single person that goes on a show for the most part is doing it to better their career. That's definitely obvious or else you would just download Tinder. But my intention's going into too out to handle or a lot more pure than my intention is going into perfect match. I didn't have high hopes. I knew it was going to be a great career opportunity.

I was like if I meet someone amazing 10 out of 10 like I'm a sucker for love and I want to fall in love and I thought there could be a potential but it was more to like have a good time maybe hang out with some friends meet some people and then obviously hopefully and you did meet somebody at the beginning did Dom turn out to be not so great absolutely horrible was everybody absolutely horrible on that child how is Shane how is Shane who comments the craziest things on my Instagram I think Shane has a lot of like like mental how I don't know I feel bad for him he just lost his mom and everything going on I think he yeah I don't know I don't know I don't want to say anything about Shane's I feel so bad for him he's like he like there's something there's something going on but you had drama with two of the girls on the show yeah mainly one the Georgia girl no no I don't think I don't think it was mainly her I think it was mainly the other one but the Georgia drama was more like silence drama like there was no confrontation we were still like nice to each other and when we saw each other face to face it was kind of like more behind the scenes drama but we like I don't know we're friends now we've made up and talked about everything that happened and definitely put all of our

what's the word differences bygones be bygones yeah because like girls need to stick together and we were dealing with some pretty shitty trashy in so right because she also dated harry yeah so why did you get this villain edit i know that you talked about it i know that you were upset about it i know that it's not what you thought was going to happen from the show did you lean into the villain vibe when you were filming thinking like it'll be okay somehow and then that's not what happened yeah i definitely leaned into the villain vibe, but I never, from my experience on the show and everyone else has experienced on the show from who I talked to, I was never mean and I was never like rude and I was sassy and I was

honest and I was up front and I had no filter with what I was saying. But even when we were doing a one interview with Georgia, Chloe, a few other girls and we had not seen the show yet and one of the interviews was like, how do you feel about being the villain like public enemy number one? And me and all the girls in the room were confused because that's not how it was our experience. Like, I was, of course, like, doing my thing and, like, being a little dramatic. But I was never, like, mean or, like, me and Savannah's drama was the only thing that I thought was going to be portrayed a little bit weird. But everyone was shocked and they were like, no, your edit's going to be fine.

Don't worry. So I think the way that it was chopped up and put together, I was, like, flabbergasted. I was, like, really upset. I'm like, this is horrible. I didn't say that. the words were moved around. Anytime something good would happen, they would use a facial expression from like a different scene of me going like this

and like place it in to make it seem like that was my reaction to things when it wasn't. So they really did me dirty on the edit. And I went to the, I was nominated for, I don't know if it was nominated, but Variety did a reality TV women, most influential women of reality TV. Yeah, most powerful women in reality TV. Yeah, so I was on the list. So I went to the event and one of the kinetic producers came up to me.

and apologized. She was like, I'm so sorry. I know you're not happy with how it was portrayed, like, la, la, la, la. And a few people who were working on the show also reached out and had apologized for the edit. Does that mean anything to you? Like, even though it's kind of done. I mean, they are lucky that I'm really good at saving my own career because it could have gone really poorly for me if I wasn't who I am and I didn't know how to like, if I wasn't a good person, it could have been really bad. How did you turn it around? Like, did you talk about it? Did you apologize? Like what,

or did you ignore it? What was your, what did you do? I think a lot of the videos I was posting after, I was taking accountability and I was acknowledging the fact that I looked horrible on the show. And I was also acknowledging the fact that I was shocked and I was like, what just came out of my mouth?

Like, I was very, I didn't ignore it. I basically said, yeah, I looked horrible and I would hate me as well after watching that. So I think that helped. Yeah,

I think that helped a little bit. But I think people, just they follow me and they can see like my true intentions and who I actually am. So and everyone knows like what you see on TV. Not all of it is real. So I think I just had some really loyal followers and really loyal friends like in the in the group that were kind of helping me kind of recover. Did anybody from the show defend you? Because you said a lot of the girls from the show were like, that was in our experience. Did they ever say that publicly? Carousel definitely was defending me as much as she could. There was a few of the boys that were saying some things. And then Georgia

ended up, like, after her and I made up, she was saying really nice things about me as well. But a lot of the girls were very silent and a lot of true colors were definitely shown. So with that experience, would you return to reality TV knowing how it can fuck with you? I would never do another dating show. I feel like a lot of people are probably done with dating shows after certain experiences that they go through. And obviously I'm in a very happy relationship. But I would, no, I would do reality TV again, for sure. I have a good time.

Do you feel like you burned any bridges, like with Netflix by talking about this experience? Netflix burned their bridge with me. Oh, yeah. But I mean, do you feel like that relationship is done? Yeah. Like specifically with them. Okay.

So it'd have to be like a different network. I feel like I put my trust in people. And to be treated as I was, I don't appreciate that. And I don't know. I don't forget that things. So I just, I'm working on some things, but it's, it's not going to be Netflix. It's not going to be Netflix. If you're looking for a new vitamin brand, look no further than JS health vitamins.

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mattress firm will help you find the right mattress for you. So you would come back to reality TV. Oh, my God, watch Francesca. Oh, my, no, I guess you couldn't be a realtor on selling sunset because that's Netflix. That would be funny, though. That would be funny. Would you host anything too hot to handle perfect match reunions, like if they asked you back? I would definitely be hosting.

I would love to host. That's something I'm going to be looking in towards more. But I think the goal right now that me and Jesse are working towards we were working with another production company is to more of like a show about him and I and like our life and stuff. So that's that's something you're working out. Oh, yeah. I would love that. So, okay, I know you were saying that if people come for your man, you'll defend. What does it feel like?

Does it feel like the public's more accepting of this relationship or do you get more backlash about it or judgment? I think on TikTok, people are very accepting and people are really sweet. And if someone leaves it a negative, but I guess that's how that's how it was for me when I started out. TikTok was so savage. And Instagram was like my safe space. But now it's switched. TikTok is my safe space. And if someone leaves a negative comment or something transphobic, I don't even need to say anything because the TikTok people will defend me. But on Instagram, like if you go to my recent post with Jesse or my recent video with Jesse, like you look at the and they are foul, like the craziest transphobic, horrible things, like, that you could ever say.

Like, and a lot of people that are commenting these are, like, young mothers with new babies or, like, weird, creepy old men or, like, just the random person you'd see at the supermarket. Like, they don't look mean. So it's just crazy that I think it's just internalized hate towards queer people and stuff. Did you get unfollowed when you came out with this relationship? yeah i think so but nothing that i noticed like a lot of people would comment ew unfollowed yeah thanks for telling us close the door on the way out yeah i don't think that like affected anything i think the audience that i have is like such a core like they're so loyal and they just defend me

and jesse like so hardcore so and jesse has a jessie's audience is ridiculously loyal like his engagements better than mine. They will defend Arlo and him to the death. Did you know of him before being assigned that interview? Like, were you a follower? When I got assigned the interview, they gave me a list of people. And then I creeped all of them because I wanted to like kind of get to know their vibe. And I spent probably 24 hours watching all these videos. And what about him, you? Did he know you? No. Well, he says he didn't, but I don't know. I don't know if he's told the two. And what about Arlo? No, I never asked Arlo. If I don't think they ever watched you out to handle because they were like 12 at the time or like 11 when it came out. Yeah. So I don't think that's something like they're very like they're reading books. They're not watching. Yeah. Yeah. I got. I got the vibe. Yeah. Is Jesse because you do post. You post a lot of bikini photos. You post a lot of your hot bod, which like who wouldn't with that bod. Is Jesse jealous at all? Does he ever like, is he ever like maybe keep that for me? No. No. Not at all.

He's like, ooh, Archer Backmore. He takes my photos. He's like, wait, fix your hair. Wait, pull your boobs out. Like, he, he's for it. He's, that's like one of his amazing qualities. Like, he's not weird about social media. He's not jealous about it.

Like, he is very trusting and just gets the vibes. He's never been, like, insecure like that. So that's great. And he's basically like a content creator too, right? So do you ever get like competitive? Because you were saying he has better engagement and stuff. Are you like, damn it? No, I'm happy for him when his video.

videos do really well. Yeah. I'm, like, so happy. I'm like, I give him video ideas every single day. I'm like, you need to post this. You need to do this today. Like, I'm the one more pushing him to be more on social media and like show more. Because his story is so beautiful.

And his, him and his child are like so cute. I feel like he should be posting more. I always try and like get him. So you're planning a wedding. He proposed to you, which like was a huge deal. The photos were beautiful. The story was beautiful. Did you know or was a complete?

surprise. So I gave him kind of a timeline of when I would love to be proposed before. We are going to Canada for my mom's surprise 60th birthday. I was like, we're going to Vancouver to see all my friends. And then we're going to Canada. We're seeing my whole family. So I was like, I would love if you proposed to me before this day. Because I knew it was coming. Like he was designing the ring and he would tell me to not look. And he said, don't check my phone. He said, don't check the mail. So I knew something was brewing because we're so close. But I just told them, I'm like, it would be lovely. if it was before this date so we could, like, celebrate our engagement, like, throughout Canada and, like, so I had an inkling.

People were shocked at the ring, like, how big it was. People were looking into, like, how much it caused. People were wondering, like, how they, you know, could afford it. If you were pitching in, what was your, what's your take on it? Like, did Jesse, like, spend his life savings on this ring? I definitely didn't pitch it for the ring. Let's make that very clear. Yeah, no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't pay for it.

But yeah, I think he spent a lot of money on it, definitely. But, like, if I was a lot of, no. Oh, I think he got, I think he got a little bit of a discount. Yeah, I think they, like, discounted some of the manufacturing for him. Like, he paid for the diamonds, but I think, like, the putting the diamonds on the thing. Yeah, they, like, cut a few costs of that in exchange for feed tags. So he got a little bit of a discount, but the diamonds were fully. I don't think any company would give you free diamonds.

So he paid for that. He paid for that fully. I was like shocked. I'm like, I know how much it was. So I was like, can you tell us how much it was? Like a lot. Okay. So what's the wedding looking like?

Is there a venue? Is there? I know you're sharing a lot about it on TikTok. So did you solidify anything? So we were really into the planning the wedding back in September. And then we just weren't feeling the vibes anymore. So we decided that we're going to have babies first. So he did IVF and then I did IVF.

So we have my embryos and his embryos in the freezer. Wait, let's talk about this IVF journey because it was wild watching you. So explain to me why you both did IVF. He didn't necessarily want to, but I was like I would love a little DNA, Jesse. I know it doesn't matter, like DNA and stuff like that. but I really wanted another Jesse. So he would need to do IVF so we could take out his eggs. Because if we just use my eggs,

then none of them would be biologically related to him. And we wanted Arlo to have a full sibling as well. Wait, but can you mix the eggs? I'm so confused. No, we can't miss the eggs. So his eggs are out. We have a sperm that is. Oh, you would do one baby that's Jesse's DNA and one baby that's yours?

Yeah, we would do one more that's his. his he has three embryos that are ready to go to be turned into like children in the freezer and I have eight ready to go. So we'll use mine first. And then for the second baby, we'll use his and then for the third and the fourth baby, we'll use mine again. For the third and the four, you're planning four kids, Francesca? Well, because I might have one and then I may be like, I can't do this again. So I don't know, but definitely more than one. Like definitely two, but I don't know how my body's going to react. Are you going to, you're going to be the one that carries them. Oh, of course. Yeah. Definitely. So yeah, let's see before you're like the third, the four at the fifth.

Yeah. The sixth. Yeah. But you want four, it sounds like. That would be like the dream. But if I'm, because I'm 30 now, so I don't know with the timeline of me having a fourth. I don't know if I'm going to be able to carry.

I'm not going to like put my health at risk and stuff like that. So I just need to see the kind of timeline. So you're done with the IVF part, which was like pretty grueling for you. You documented it all on social media. There were times you really felt like shit. like what tell us a little bit about that IVF is it is extremely hard and like physically and emotionally like there was times where I thought I had to go to the hospital because like I couldn't breathe and the mental that it just it really makes you like paranoid and scared and all the

emotions you're feeling and you're like your body's so swollen and you feel like there's like no point living anymore it's like crazy like what it can do to your brain just like the I think Normal estrogen levels for people are like 100 to 120. And with the hormone injections, you go to like 2,000. So it's like ridiculous amount of hormones that they're pumping you with. And you have to do like three shots a day, sometimes four. You have to go in every other day for an internal ultrasound, blood work, all these tests. So it's grueling.

Like it was really traumatic for him and it was really traumatic for me and I'm really glad it's over. But girls, I know people were commenting some girls do this like nine times to get viable eggs. it's crazy. We're really lucky we don't have to do it once. And can I ask you and tell me if this is too intrusive? Could you have potentially done insemination with like a donor? Yeah. So we our original plan was to inseminate in October. It's past October. But we found out, while we were planning to inseminate, we found out that the percentage of that baby taking is only 25%. And with an embryo transfer, it's 65. So we just decided, F it, I'll just do the IVF. And then we'll, instead of doing the insemination, I'll do an embryo transfer. So I'm like 65% chance going to get pregnant instead

of like 25% chance. Really? With the insemination, it's only 25? Like when you straight up, shoot it up the. Yeah. So any person who gets pregnant, like, even without IVF, the chances are only 25% if the person's ovulating. So that's kind of the same same stats for. when I just stick it in. And we had a timeline that we wanted to be pregnant on. I didn't want to give birth in certain months of the year because I didn't want the baby to have. I didn't want the baby to have the same birthday as Arlo or Jesse because I just, I'm very, I love other people's birthdays and I didn't want, I wanted Arlo's birthday to be about Arlo.

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To claim this deal, you have to go to Hayahealth.com slash not skinny. This deal is not available in their regular website. So you have to go to Haya Health. That's H-I-Y-A-Health. Health, H-E-A, L-T-H dot com slash not skinny, and you can get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow and to healthy adults. So can you share any timelines with us? Like, do you know what's happening? I was going to do the embryo transfer in October, but my body got overstimulated so it wasn't safe. And I was really bummed about that, but I ended up getting really drunk on my birthday.

Wait, what does that mean overstimulated so you couldn't do it? It's called OHS, O-H-S-Ovary and hyperstimulation syndrome. my ovaries were the size of grapefruits, each of them. So my belly was out to here. So if you put an embryo in your ovaries once they're like that, you'll be in the hospital for three months, the doctor was saying. He's like, we could do it, but you're going to be so nauseous. You're going to hate the first three months.

And it's dangerous. It's a risk. So I was like, I'm not willing to do that. So we have an embryo transfer scheduled, but it's like kind of soon. do you think when it happens like hoping god willing it takes on the on the first time like would you wait to announce or do you feel like you have shared so much with your followers that like you would tell them right away if it took because i know you're not supposed to announce till you're 12 weeks that's like the rule of them yeah but that's that's just that's just too much time

to wait like i cannot wait that long how many months is that that's like three months Yeah. Like they say when you're done with the first trimester. It's like, but I mean, it's more like for you to protect yourself that if God forbid something happens, you wouldn't have, you know, told. But it's, you know, you're such an open person that it's more about how you feel. It's very personal. Yeah. I think I would, I wouldn't wait 12 weeks. I just, I didn't, I'd have to like, I'd have three months of content to post and I would just have to like lie. Like, I wouldn't be able to get away with it. I'd just be too. excited and I know I know people are always saying like keep it to yourself keep it yourself but I just can't like I'm so excited and I know it's possible that the first embryo transfer won't take and I know it's possible that the second one won't take so I'm not trying to get too excited but I'm so excited so I feel like I would maybe wait like six weeks seven eight weeks and then share like right one after I like I see and like make sure it's like chill in and healthy and like yeah after they do like the testing but the good thing about the embryos is that they're already

tested so when they get when they go in they're already like healthy right there's no right yeah yeah you less have to worry about the all the other testing because it's done inside the little when they're making yeah when they're making the baby what what was it like when you were sharing all this with your followers obviously like you were sharing your life but they were used to other things all of a sudden you're sharing IVF stuff I'm sure so many women related like what was that like I was shocked how many people related and Jesse posted about him doing his IVF and he got born apart on Instagram and it was kind of traumatic for him and he was really bummed and didn't really want to post on social media for a while after that and it was really hard to see but I was

telling him and I was saying like it's not talked about enough and it's not shared enough and there's so many aspects to this process that need to be talked about and need to be like made aware of when I posted about things that was happening to me I'm so glad that I did because my comments were filled with women who went through the same thing. And they were like, okay, if this is happening to you, don't worry. This is going to last this longer. Like, okay, this is going to happen next. Like, you're going to be bloated for this amount of weeks, but then you're going to feel

better. And if you don't, then maybe go get checked. And then this needle is going to make you feel like this or eat before you take this needle. Like, it was very informative. And I learned so much from sharing that I'm so glad that I did. And I feel like I brought awareness to topic that not a lot of people. know about. Yeah, I saw that Jesse posted real men do IVF. And I saw some comments that were obviously didn't, didn't appreciate that caption. Yeah. But even cis men who are born male

do do IVF. Like they, it is something that they do if they have low sperm and or if they're infertile. They do. So it wasn't even a, men do do IVF. Trans men and a biological men both do IVF so how did you pick sperm is it like a book of dudes we know the person oh yeah so it's not through like a sperm bank or something no we could have we could have done that but we know we're keeping his well we shared his we're keeping his identity private for now because his family doesn't know yet they're going to be happy when they do know but for now we're keeping it private but we know him very well and he's not going to want to like be the you know no no okay no he's he's he's not at all like that he's just we know his family tree it's just someone that we're very familiar with that the

kids are going to grow up and know like oh that person is was the sperm donor he's not my dad but if i'm ever curious i can ask question i was going to have a conversation with him yeah oh you you both know that you're going to be transparent about that with your kids. So just to confirm, the same dude sperm was used for your eggs and Jesse's eggs. Yeah. Okay. Now we know. Now we know it all. Okay. Talking about kids, do you want to raise them in L.A.? Is that where you think that's going to go down? I think maybe until they're five or six, we would. And then Jesse really is not wanting to raise them here. We had thought about Canada for a while, but taxes in Canada are crazy. So we're looking into potentially Europe.

We might like travel for a while with the kids and try and figure out where it fits us. But I love L.A., but I'm not, I'm not from here. So I didn't grow up like, I don't have this like stigma towards it. Where is Jesse from? Here. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he, he's, he wants to move now. Like, when I started renovating my house, he was kind of like, damn it, now we're stuck here for longer. and now my renovation has taken like a year and a half, so we're stuck here even longer. But he is down to move out whenever I'm ready, basically. And Arlo and Jesse live with you in your house. Yeah.

You bought a house. We're in a rental right now. I bought a house in August and I started renovating it last October. And it's been renovating for a year and two months now. It's a disaster. Never renovated house. I know. I heard that you're complaining on TikTok about your contractor and stuff.

aren't you scared they're going to see or do you do not care? I'm suing him. Oh, you're suing him? He's literally the worst person I've ever met. It's bad. I talked to a lawyer today. It's just, it's a disaster. Like, safety concerns and the amount of money is just regret.

But we're in a rental right now that's like five minutes drive from my house. So we're moving into a new rental in the new year because we're planning the embryo transfer. And we've been here for a year and a half and we thought we were going to be here for six months. so it's like a smaller space and you just need like an actual like yeah okay well first of all mazal on buying a house i'm sorry that that it's not you know working out the way you want it but it's still a big deal to to buy a house you know so you should be like proud of yourself that you did that okay i just want to say i love you and watching your life change the way it has is wild like i remember asking you i have to find it before this comes out

In our first interview being like, but do you want to settle down? Like, do you want to like settle down and have kids? And you were like, yeah, I want that. And it seemed like not that I thought you were lying, but it was like, what is you talking about? Like she just got out of this reality show. She's like young and hot. She's going to run around. And now here you are settling down and having kids.

I remember when we were talking, you were asking me about Vinnie. Right. Vinnie. Wait. Yeah. Vinny. Did you really have a thing with him or was it just like a paparazzi thing? No.

no no no that that was that was a thing it was a thing and was damien powers are the real thing the faces you make i cannot because he comes up as your boyfriend just you know is like a real ex no i'm like no in the media no i think he i think he's great i was interested in him for a few days to be honest but i do i do think he's great and i'm glad he got a chance to like redeem himself i know he didn't have the best reputation after love is blind reunion And I'm glad that he got the chance to, like, redeem himself. I mean, I looked bad in the process, but I'm glad that it worked out for him. And I think his career is doing fine and he's vibing.

So one last question. I have to ask this because I'm always so intrigued in these videos. So you and Jesse post a lot of like, Cuppley PDA videos, but that you're taking. So I need to understand this. Like, I'm not hating. I'm a little judgy about those videos. I'm judging too. When I see other people do it, I'm like, do I look like, do I do it.

And Jesse's like, no, we look cooler. We look cooler. I'm like, are you sure? So tell me, I need to know. He's like, yeah. So you put up the camera. You put up the phone on the thing. And then, and then you like naturally make out and stuff.

Well, a lot of the time, if Chris is there or if someone's there, we'll ask them to film for us. And that's less weird. I mean, he's used to it. He takes my only fans, only fans pictures. And when you're, yeah, so when we were in Europe, we would put up the tripod. and it would be so beautiful that we would just, like, do what we're going to do anyways, but the tripod would kind of be there recording. And then we would, like, just vibe and hang out and be cute.

And then, like, 10 minutes would pass. And I'd be like, oh, it's still there. Then we would just go take it down. And then I would, like, edit the clips together and, like, make it look cute. Okay. But you, you're saying, I know, it's crudgy. No, no, just not you specifically, but those types of videos I'm always intrigued by because I don't think I could ever do it without probably cracking up and, like,

feeling weird you do get used to it i'm like super used to being in front of the camera but there are some videos that i see like a lot of the new moms like setting up the tripod and then walking by and then going back to grab it like i don't i can't i can't do stuff like personally it's just too much work it has to be like out of the shot like you can't be like going and coming back i think it's fine if you're like in a beautiful location and you're like okay instead of taking some selfie some pictures yeah of us together we'll just we'll just click the video record and we'll just do what we're going to do anyways and you just you should you have the memory and I feel like some of the videos we have are so beautiful and I'm like okay I'm super glad that

we have this even though people were watching us film this and it was really embarrassing but I'm super glad we have the memory well I'm so happy for you and I can't wait to see your pregnancy content and I'm wishing you're going to be so cute you're going to be amazing first of all you're going to look amazing pregnant knock on wood and you're going to be an amazing mom and I can't wait to watch you. And I wish you and Jesse and the fam all the best. Thank you so much. You're the best, Amanda. I love you. I love you too. Thank you. Bye, babe. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you

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