Not Skinny But Not Fat - Haley Lu Richardson is Sad & Horny

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

This week I sit down with adorable talented Actress Haley Lu Richardson. We talk turning 30, White Lotus season 2 (Portia hate, hookup rumors, the cast group chat… all of it), and where she thinks Portia is now. We get into her poetry book I’m Sad and Horny, sad-clown energy, getting engaged young, plus Miley tears, and Jonas Brothers obsession!This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Find Saie at sephora.com and every Sephora store across the US and Canada at saiehello.comHead to Columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff jacket - they're tough on cold, soft on you.Get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time on therealreal.com/notskinnyGo to ritual.com/notskinny for 40% off your first month subscription and early access to their Black Friday sale!This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/notskinny. Shop the cozyearth.com early Black Friday sale by stacking my code NOTSKINNY for up to 40% off in savings.Go to us.frankie4.com and use code NOTSKINNY for 20% off your first order.Head to knix.com and use code AMANDA20 for 20% off your order and grab a Dream Boxer before they're gone again!Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the not skinny but not fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Wow, this is cool. No, you're so cute. You guys, Haley Lou Richardson is here.

By the way, I fuck up names a lot, and I'm so happy. Yours is unfuck up of all. Is it? Yeah, where could somebody go wrong? You know what? A teacher in grade school called me Hallie, and I was like, there is an E after the L, which makes it hail. You are a teacher. How did you know that?

And that stayed with you. Well, that's the time someone's really fucked up my name. Oh, yeah. But aside from that, aside from that, it's pretty easy one. People call you, do you, Lou is your middle name, like on your passport? Yes. That's so cute. Thanks.

Do you use it? Like in the industry, the industry uses it. Yeah. But like your friends. Yeah. My friends, I mean, it depends. If they're like being cute, they're like, Haley Lou, but most times people are like, Haley, come here, you know?

They're being cute. They're like, Haley Lou. It is cute. It is cute. It is, I mean, Haley is also kind of cute. Haley is really cute. You know what I was thinking about? Because I loved, love, loved you in Edge of 17.

Which, like, if people. haven't seen that movie like it's such a good movie it does and it holds up with haley steinfeld and you and that's how we differentiate so i was going to ask yeah on set oh you know what the ad called me on that because haley was one on the call sheet and i was two he called you so the ad called me haley lou like the two like the poo which if you knew me i'm not offended by that i loved it wait the full thing haley lu two like the poo wait what did he say it was so long long ago now. He was like Haley, Haley 2 like the poo. That's what he said. Because there was Haley 1 and then there was Haley 2 like the poo. So the whole day they're, if they're calling you.

The AD, yeah. Haley 2 like the poo. Like the Poe. Yeah. And if it's not the AD, how they like the Haley and Haley. I don't remember. It was a long time. I like block out a lot of professional experiences. Yeah, I do. Just to get, move on with my life, you know, to like, you have to kind of like do it. Yeah. Process it for a couple months and then like have a blanks thing. How old were you when you did that? like probably 21. Yeah, I think 21 because I think I was just... That's fucking nine years ago.

Like eight, nine years ago. That's fucking... Because I saw you're about to turn 30. I am 30. Or you turned 30. I just turned it. How old are you? How old are you?

37. Oh my gosh. How are you doing? Your skin looks great. Really? Yes. Thank you. I'm doing good.

I feel good about 30s. I need to start. I mean, I do get Botox right now. I don't have it. It's the only thing I'm not scared of. I don't really do anything else. What does Botox feel like? You haven't done it yet.

I haven't done it. I'm like, but I do have a lot of, I'm starting to get these. I feel like you need the movement, though, as an actor. That's the thing. And my eyebrows, I'm very expressive person. Oh, and you have good eye. I've got caterpillars. And they, like, do you have a uni?

That's a lot of lines. If you don't do it, do you have a uni? I had more of one when I was a kid. And then I started, I went through a phase where I was like getting them waxed all the time. But I looked like a hammerhead shark because they were like taking off the lady. It was taking off like all of this. So there was like way too big of a space. Yeah.

I thought I looked great. I had braces. So you had confidence even with that. Yeah? I, did I? That was probably the most insecure time of my life. The unibrow time. Yeah. And then the, the waxing of it. Also, like, you just get your, it was like around like 12, 13. Like, I'm just, you're going through puberty. It's like, it's like a really vulnerable time. It is a really weird time. It is. What age did you get your period? I think 12. Okay. Me too. That's, yeah. Is that considered early like today? Like, I feel like I was. I was one of the first. I was embarrassed. How old were you? 12. 12. I remember the first of our friend group, Tatum. She was the first to get her period.

And we were at a birthday party at like a water park. And she was bleeding when we got out of the like lazy river thing. And my friend Sammy was like, oh my gosh, Tatum, you're bleeding. Somebody get her a bandied. It was so pure. I think we all knew what was coming, except Sammy. You know what? That's so sweet.

And my friends saw my, like, I didn't tell them that I got my period and my, I guess I was, like, leaking. And then they were walking behind me and they were like, oh, my God, and they like saw it. Like when you got it for the first time ever. No, no. I kind of didn't tell them knew they were bitches. Like my heart told me right. Like, don't share it with them. And I was at one of their houses and I leaked.

Yeah. And then they were like, I'm mad of your blood on you. So I tried to act like I, it was the first time. I'm like, that's so crazy. I just got it for the first time ever. But then they followed me to the bathroom and they saw that I already had like a pat on. And they like, then they told like my boyfriend, it's cool. You had a boyfriend when you were 12?

Yeah. That's so cool of you. And then they told him and he was like grossed out because it's gross to a 12 year old. Yeah. It's honestly gross to 35 year olds too. I'm like, hello. I know. I'm like offering to have sex with you.

I know there was something about period sex in your new poem book. Yeah. Yeah. There is a poem about it. About the period sex. Yeah. And then I thought about your dad, like, reading that because you said your dad was really into this your book. I mean, he wasn't really into it.

He was as supportive as he could be and should be. Yeah. But, yeah, he had said, like, he sent me an email and he was, like, very much focused on the format and the font and the layout and giving, like, notes like that. And then at the very end of the email, he said that, you know, something about the poems. And he said that some were hard for a daddy to read. Wait, can we, this is how crazy I am, and I'm like just a New York City girl. I'm sitting here with you. Yeah.

I'm introducing you. Yeah. And you're sitting with this hat. Yeah. And these shoes. And we haven't commented out at all. We haven't said anything. This is just, we're so L.A. in New York right now.

Go us. Or like, are we crazy? Can I tell you when I was just going to the bathroom? Yeah. I was thinking, first of all, because I have such short legs and in normal life, but with these, I was, like, alarmed how long it took me to squat for my butt to actually read to toilet seat. Is that what it's like for tall people? Like, you were like, oh. I was like, I thought I was there and then it was like another foot down to the toilet. Wait.

And then I was also thinking this is like you bring you around a squatty potty. You think if you had to poop, that would be helpful. Yes. Okay. You know what I do sometimes. I'll like take over the like little garbage can if I need to. I do that too. Yeah. I do that in hotels. I like. Let's talk about this, though. The hat. Okay. We're in clown vibes, sad clown vibes for the book. Yeah, I guess today's pretty cutie, cutie clown.

It's I'm sad and horny. Yeah, you are too. Are you? I don't know if I'm either. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. First of all, I'm so happy for you that you're happy.

Yeah. But the horny part? Yeah. I don't know if I'm like currently horny. Okay. I had a baby a year ago. Wow. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. You're a mom. You're a mother. That's shocking. You're happy. happy in mother. I'm happy and mother. Wow. And currently in this very moment, like, not that horny. Okay. Oh, I don't do it for you. I'm kind of offended. I'm kind of offended. I wore these high-ass ballerina for you.

Tell me about it. Tell me about this book of poetry that you wrote. Wait, well, first of all, yes, the clown theme connects to the book. Right. The sad clown. What's it was? I don't know how. to pronounce him even the black and white piero piero have you heard of this clown sure he's like a symbol for what's the symbol for for for yearning depression loneliness but it's the mask of the clown it's really beautiful and poetic so there's a lot of that theme in the book so i'm just taking it as an opportunity to dress like this the last week this is a decision you made like haley was like No one forced it upon me. This is all my choice.

So like a stylist, are you working with? Nope. No. I think I had to convince him. You had to convince him. Yeah. To get like, but the shoes. The shoes I had these.

This is actually my clothes. Wait, you had the shoes. I had the shoes from like. I actually had them from my friend's bachelorette party last year. Okay. So it was for like a theme thing. It was for a theme thing. And I was going to like sell them or donate them.

But I was like, you know, I feel like handy. And they will. I can bring them around and use. them as a squatty potty. And for like a sad horny book. Yes. And to promote this book. So wait. So when you were writing these poems, was this, you were writing them anyway and then one day you were like, let me publish them or you wrote them for this book? Kind of neither. I definitely didn't write them for a book. I wrote most of them before I even decided to turn them into a book. But the idea to make them a book came from a friend I was working with an actor

I was working with, and he read one of my poems. I was, like, writing on a night shoot in the tent, and it was, like, 3 a.m. and raining, and I was, like, sitting there on the corner of the tent, like, writing and crying. And he was, like, what's up? And I was like, just writing some poems. And he was like, can I read it?

And I let him read it because I trusted him. And he said, it was good. And I was like, really? And then he said, yeah, you could actually, like, turn these into a book. And I don't think I would have ever thought of that if it wasn't for him saying it. Do we know this guy? His name's Awesome. Awesome?

Like awesome? He's awesome, awesome. Is it spelled awesome? No. It's a S-I-M. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. And he is in this movie that's coming out in the end of January, I think, called Good Luck, Have Fun Don't Die.

I have a great title. You're going to be in? Then I'm going to be in, yeah. No, I was just hanging out on the set and the check. Yeah, yeah. But he, yeah, he told me I could do this. And I literally don't think I would have ever thought that this was something I could do. Yeah. But it like made a light go off in my brain and soul. And I saw it through. And I've literally never done anything like that in my life. Like had something creatively come from me and then seen it through like making it something. So it's been cool. Let's read like one of the poems. Oh my gosh.

On your phone, I love it. Well, I don't have it. They send me a PDF. Oh, like, I should have brought you one today. It's okay. Don't worry. Oh, I'm so sad that I didn't. Wait, I had one that I liked on this page.

Oh, I'm going to send you one. Thank you, Angel. I love that there's like literally like a phone charger, a cucumber. Like this is the illustration. That's not a vibrator charger. See how I'm not horny? Do you see? She doesn't even know what that is.

She didn't even know. I'm like, can I charge my phone here, please? Wait, page 26. Not in this house. I like that one. Oh, after the cucumber. Yeah. Oh, wow.

I'm interested which one you're going to pick. And you have like a really sultry voice, so I'm excited to hear you. I do. Yeah, you do. I can't believe I don't make you horny at all. I know that came out that way. It did sound like that. You're like in this moment.

No, I know. I meant like in this period of my life. You make me so horny. Oh. Thank you. Toothbrush, hairbrush, shower head, cucumber, curling iron, posted the bed, electric shaver, mascara, mascara container, massage chair with a strong vibrator, vibrator, an extra large carrot, a dollop of butter. This is just my shopping list.

Get your mind out of the gutter. That, I will say, is, I think, the stupidest poem in the night. book. So the fact that you picked that one, like, no, I love it, though. It is the dumbest one in there. No, I'm dead. Babe, it is so on brand for me to pick the dumbest one. And everyone knows it. I love it. It is like by far. I mean, there are some dumb ones. Yeah. Like, actually a lot of dumb ones. But that is the dumbest. Like, there's a lot deeper ones. There's some deeper ones. Yeah. There's some deeper dumb ones. Yeah. There's some deep, deep ones. But that's just like the array of the female emotion. You're dumb sometimes. You're deep and dumb sometimes. Yeah, that's

pretty much it. That's all I've got. Either dumb or deep and dumb. Yeah, maybe that's the next book. Deep and dumb. Deep and dumb. Yeah. I love it. I'm deep and dumb. Wait, so I wanted to just halt a second on 30. Yeah. Turn 30. Yeah. What feelings do you have about it? Like, were you scared a lot of bitches be scared to turn 30? I wasn't scared. Okay. I was really scared throughout my 20s. So I was ready for that decade to be done. Okay. Yeah. I was like the second I turned 29, actually.

I was like, thank God. I'm almost there. I'm almost done. Why? What was so crazy? Like what would you experience in your 20s? Was it a lot of like the, the heartbreak and? Yeah.

It was a lot of lessons. I know life is full of them. They're not going to stop just because I had a birthday, you know, but and turned 30. But I, but there were a lot of lessons. Like my Saturn returned. But are you? You're into that, huh? I'm pretty into that. Can you tell? You're not. There's something about you. There's something about me. Wait, what are you? What are you? Gemini.

Oh, oh, I'm a Gemini Moon. We're crazy. Gemini Moons are crazy or Gemini? Any Gemini. Wait, so what are you? I'm a Pisces. What does that mean for people that don't know? It means that I dress like this. And I'm sad and horny. That's all you really need to know about the Pisces sign. But you're connected to the sign. I am. You get it like tattooed on you? I try. You don't have tattoos. You're a clean. I do have tattoos. Oh, you do? I have one, four, I have four.

Oh, I see. I have a cat. My tattoos are pretty pure. You have a cat that also tracks. Yeah, it does. It does. It's kind of everything about me is kind of expected. It's like, it's like, am I, like, am I, like, am I boring because I'm so expectedly?

It's like, when things track, it's good. It does. It is. Yeah, it means you're, like, consistent. Okay. You show up. I'm consistently. Like, you might.

not be mysterious, which I definitely not. I know me neither. I have tried. I've tried. I know. It's like impossible. You can't, you can't force it. You seem mysterious. Like, you're in all black. You're like, like, I mean, it's supposed to like the pink and the hat maybe, but like mysterious is definitely something I strive to be. I think we, I think we should stop striving to be it. Really? Yeah. If we're not it, then we're not. You feel like you really put it all out there in the book and like definitely I don't think after, after publishing. this book, I don't know if there's any hope for me to ever be mysterious again. Because any person that ever goes on a first date with me, if they Google me, they'll see this book or they'll be

able to read it. And this might really hurt my chances of finding. But what do you think, like, are you scared that people will expect maybe like someone really horny and let's say you go home with somebody? I don't think people are going to take it literally, going to think it maybe from the title, but actually, you know, there have been times in my past where people I've dated, like, have an expectation of me to just be, like, cute and happy and fun and, like, a distraction for their tortured soul. And I'm glad now to put myself out there in this way

that is like a more well-rounded actual version of, like, not a version, but actual representation of who I am as opposed to what people have, like their perception of me. Their perception of you. Yeah. But the sad part is that from a time

that you were like really depressed or something? I think, have you watched the film Inside Out? Oh my God. What's wrong with you? I know. By the way, a lot. And I should because I'm an anxious girl. Then you should watch. Inside Out. And the second one's all about anxiety. And by the way, I just took my kid to Disney on Ice and then they had the Inside Out people come out. Oh, and you didn't know. And that's like a new thing. And I can't wait for your kid to be old enough for you to show them. You have a daughter or son. I have a son. He's five and I should watch Inside Out with him. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You should watch Inside Out with your five year old. And especially like it does. Is the anxious girl like the girl? In the second movie. So it's all about there's there's the girl. There's the people. And then it follows.

the young girl, Riley, and the emotions in her head are the main characters. So the first movie, like, sadness is really the hero, and it's, like, about embracing the sadness and the second movie is about anxiety. She goes through puberty, and she has all of these new emotions that come into play, and, like, anxiety really steals the show. But the first movie, Inside Out, is my favorite film in the world. Wow. And around the time that that movie came out, it was kind of the first.

thing that set off this this concept inside me that like oh i just because i am innately happy doesn't mean that i can never be sad too like and the sadness is actually important and makes the happiness more genuine when you feel those true moments of joy like they don't exist without each other and that's the whole concept of that movie which is why like truly changed my life. Wow. Yeah. My therapist has. What does she say about that? Well, she loves it too because we're both very much in touch with our inner child, but she has a sadness doll and a joy doll from inside out. And sometimes when I'm stuck somewhere and I'm like not able to embrace my sadness, she brings out the plush toy. And I'm like, yeah, it helps me. So you feel like you started embracing because before you

were saying too, like you had this thing that people. expected of you so you gave it to them like happy I'm here to like you know yeah and I think it comes from a genuine part of me yeah but you know like with any I keep calling it like a mask or just like the way that we present like sometimes you can use it as a crutch and it totally disconnects you from like how you're really feeling and that's when you know things get suppressed and pile up and people get like genuinely deeply depressed yeah and i felt myself i've had some like that movie inside out was kind of a wake-up call for me in a very cute pure way and then i've had some hard heartbreak that like i went through kind of identity crisis and and like realizing

a lot of shame and things i wasn't being honest about even to myself and that's when i like started listening to Phoebe Bridgers and like embracing like my sad feelings too. And I went through an emo phase. We'll be right back after the break. You guys, I need to talk about cozy earth because these sheets have officially ruined me. Like I can't sleep on anything else now. I used to think that the best sleep of my life was at a hotel because of the sheets. And now if I stay at a hotel and the sheets are not cozy earth, like I'm offended and I'm personally victim. Okay. Cozy Earth makes the softest bamboo sheets and loungeware ever. I'm talking temperature regulating, breathable. And like, you're just a woman that is prioritizing your sleep as you

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really the last, because I went through a big breakup. I was with someone for almost eight years. The guy you were engaged to. The guy I was engaged to. That you booped. I called like a boop because wasn't it you announced your breakup two years after it happened? Yeah. That was crazy.

Yeah. It was nice because. Because no one, first of all, like, we weren't that relevant that people, I mean, people, I think, cared about us as actors and watched things we were in and liked us as a couple, but not like to the extent that they were really, like, articles everywhere about, like, did they break up? So it was kind of nice because we just like kind of went through it as people. We didn't really have to. But then two years after the breakup, we were both getting still, like, every time something would come out, there'd be like an article, like a work thing for either. of us, there'd be like an article about, oh, are they still, aren't they? And we were just like, we just kind of want to be out of each other's. You posted a cute little pick. Yeah. And said, hi, we're not together anymore by the way. Yeah, by the way. Yeah, live laugh, love. Yeah. It was like a cute pick. Yeah. And that was the first time we had seen each other since the breakup. So we just kind of like. Oh, you took an actual pick for. No. Well, we, no, no. We didn't meet to

take the picture to announce it. We met to like. After two years, like, I had to give him back something. It's crazy. You used a recent pick for the breakup post. Oh, yeah. Well, we're not going to post a picture of us in a relationship. No, because that, no, by the way, people do that. That's funny.

No, that was us, like, together. We were at an air on. That was as real as it gets. Yeah. You posted the, like, post breakup talk photo as the breakup post. Yeah. So you were engaged at 20. I don't remember.

You were young 20. I think I asked him to marry me when I was 22. Oh, you proposed? Yeah. I'll never do that again. I mean, more power to me at the time, but What were you feeling? If it ever happens again, someone else.

If she gets down on one knee. I'm not. It's to do something else. Wait, so, 22. You kind of set me up for that. I actually did not. I just am too horny for this world. I don't read the road.

You're not reading it. You're too horny. No, no, no. But that was good. No, that was good. Okay. But so you're 22, how, what, you feel love bursting out of you. Love bursting out. Yeah, he was my person. You know, at that time, that's all I ever could imagine. And it was unplanned, but it was just like really right. It was actually such a beautiful moment. Like, I don't have too much bitterness about that moment now. Would you? Well, five, because there was a lot of pain, you know, the relationship didn't work out for a reason. But now I'm kind of like, that was really sweet.

of you. Like you can look at you at Haley and be like so sweet that you felt something so big. Well, truly I look at the whole thing of that day and the goodness of that relationship, both him and I and the love that in relationship we did truly deeply have. And I see the good. But also, yeah, just me. I'm like a lot of the kind of processing, lessons, healing. I've been looking inward. reflecting I've been doing the last few years has made me, like, kind of in awe of the fact that I have so much love to give, even for the person that wasn't right. And you're such a romantic. I am.

And it is, it is hopeful. Like, I can't be bittered. I don't know why. Like, I try to hate men. I try. You're like, give me my Julia Fox moment. I try to be like that. You know, I aspire, but I, I can't.

I try to just, like, go to a wedding and be, like, roll my eyes. But every time I go to a wedding, I'm crying. Like, you know? Did you propose that young? Because you hoped to be, like, a young mom or, like, wanted a family? I have always wanted to be a mom, but I really just truly thought he was the person. So I was like, what are we waiting for? We've already been together a few years.

Like, you're my soulmate. What did you learn from that? Like, how did you take that experience? into, like, dating in your later 20s? The proposal or the breakup? The whole relationship. Oh, my God. I learned so much.

Yeah. I learned. I'm so thankful. Like, we were supposed to be together for that whole time because I wouldn't have learned all the things. And be the person I am now. I'm very much, like, a believer in that these days.

And I go through phases with, like, firmly believing in it and not kind of losing faith in it. But, like, right? Like saying, no, that shouldn't. maybe that I shouldn't have gone through that at all. Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, why the fuck did I have to go through that? You know, but I'm like lately, and I think this poetry book has helped me to like find the like tether to this truth that I really feel is true that's like I would not want to be anywhere else

and anyone else than where and who I am right now and all of the things that came before. and like that's such a relief to think of all the things that are going to come that I have no idea what's going to we never have any idea what's going to happen in life and like some fucked up shit happens and it's nice to be like wow I made it through that I like myself more yeah somehow I'm smarter and wiser yeah and I'm sad and horny but I'm also like happy and also horny oh yeah are you looking for a relationship now I wouldn't say looking okay Open. I think I'm open, but yeah, I'm actually feeling pretty good being alone. Yeah? Yeah. You say in this poetry book, like you have one of the poems is about having like the same type, right? Yeah.

What's that type? Is it like tattoos, rocker? Well, there was a guy that I was never really into tattoos and then there was a guy that changed it for me. And now like tattoos and mustache is like, I need to get over that. Wait, that's now you're like. It's horrible. Like I'll see a guy and then all of a sudden I'll see the same. guy with a mustache photoshopped on him, and I'm like...

Wait, the lead singer of Mumford and Sons vibes? What's he look like? Is he blonde? No. Is he always not wearing a shirt? No. Mumford. Who's the guy that's never wearing a shirt?

Oh, Mumford. Wait, who's the guy that... Is he a long hair that looks oily all the time? Oh. I'm just trying to track your type. Like, I need to have it in my mind. Well, the type in that... Like, is it this kind of vibe?

No, it's a bit more rugged. Okay. Like a P. David? No. That's too. Well, my past type was kind of this lanky, tortured artist. Which is Pete Davidson E. Yeah, I guess he was my former type. I'm disillusioned by that type now.

Oh, so there's a new type. Now there's a new type. He's like the kind of guy that builds things and has a mustache. So he's not like an actor. And like maybe like does mosh pits. Like I don't know. I don't know what he is. But he's not an actor.

No. Can I ask you something about actors? Yeah. Okay. like a personal friend-to-friend question. Yes. I'll have actors on sometimes, like the men, the men actors. Yeah.

And I just don't feel the vibes. Like, you know how I said? You know how I told you like I'm not horny in my. Yeah. It's probably because you've been talking to all these guy actors. They just dried you up. But I'm not kidding. That's kind of what they did to me after a while.

No, but that's what I'm saying. So I had to go to the mustache tattooed builders. By the way, that's why I'm asking because I have these guys on. They'll be like good looking actors, guys that everybody post. about and what, you know? And then I'm like, I swear like, zero minds. Yeah.

Is that, are those actors? Like, are they, what are they, like, just so into themselves that they don't see women in the room? Maybe. Like, it's definitely not you. It's never you. It's never made. It actually is.

They do feel like I get now why you hear from a lot of actresses. Like, you hear actresses that say, like, I'll never date another actor. Yeah. And I feel like I get it. You get it. I mean, yeah, I have said that. I mean, but also never say never, but like pretty much I don't think ever. You don't think. I don't think. But I think it's because I dated a lot of them. And like my friend said something to me once because like I really felt like I needed to be like creatively inspired by the person I end up with. Because like my big long ex, I was like very inspired. Like he made me laugh all the time. Our brains were just like he's an. Aquarius. Our brains were just going like, and he was going all the time. And I admired him in that way. So I was like, I felt like, oh, like that was a positive in that relationship. I need

to have that in a relationship, whoever I end up with. And then I was dating someone, the first person I dated that wasn't an actor in this industry. And I was like, yeah, but like he's not like an artist. And my friend at the time was like, is that like, is that like, do you need that? Like, think of all the friends you have, you're like spending half your life, like going on sets, like being inspired by the director, the actor you're working with, the friends you have that are actors, do you, is that really like top priority for you and your partner you go home to? Right. And I was like, actually no, and it's actually exhausting. And I kind of want to go home and just like be a person and have a little simple life. Right. Right. But that's so profound. Yeah. And like that your

friend said that. Like, do you need that at home? You can separate your work. I would rather someone be really nice. Really nice. Yeah. And like see you. And, like, have really great sex with me and see me. Yeah. And do these actor guys like even, aren't they even good in bed, you know?

No. Because they're looking at their muscles. I mean, I haven't dated a lot of them with muscles. Because right, the lengthy one. Yeah, the link you one. But yeah, there's definitely like, it feels like a deep emotional connection because there's this like emo tortured artist quality that you're like inspired by. so deep. But sometimes I just want the dumb. Yeah. You just want the dumb. Yeah. And again,

to come home to somebody, put the work aside. So wait, you said you had a type, you dated the same kind of guy. It didn't work. So are we now putting something else out there? I've truly been committed to the journey of processing those and like finding the pattern within me, like my involvement of why that's continued to happen and why I like end up with these people. who actually don't see me as a full person and don't, like, there's been a lot of shame I've experienced in the past in relationships and a lot of like not support and acceptance of just like the person I am and the way I am. So I've really looked at why I have continuously had this pattern of this like emotionally unavailable person that I'm like begging to be available

and see me and accept me. So, like, really committing to seeing all of that and working through it has disillusioned me to that type. So now I, like, oh, one of those, you know? Wait, so are you on the apps? I am. I'm on Hinge. You're on Hinge.

Yeah. What's the photo? I can't do Raya. Is it the photo with you crying? I think on the cover? No, I don't have a crying picture on there. We'll save that for the second date. Yeah.

I'll introduce them to that. Well, I'll probably introduce them to that. send me on the first day. But I have a good balance of like cutie picks and like, wait, why did you say you can't do Raya? It's, I mean,

do I have to explain? It's dushy. Oh, it is? Yeah. I feel like there are less, because didn't Raya start to be like a safe space for people in the public eye or something?

And now I feel like it's a dangerous place. I feel like everyone on there like has ulterior motives and like isn't just on there with good intentions. They just, you know? Hinge is a little bit more normie. I like it. And you're like,

you give normie vibes. I take that as a compliment. No, that is a compliment. Thank you. You're not like a disillusion, like jaded, kind of actor,

which how did you do that? Because you're like, you had that really huge moment, White Lotus season two. You get thrown into, you know, young Hollywood vibes and like the craziness of, of it all.

How did you like, handle that time and like tell yourself like do you say like grounded did you well staying grounded and like having routines and surrounding myself with like physical things and people that are grounding is extremely

important to me I have no earth in my chart so I so I'm like really no earth you know I think I have like one of my very distant planets in Capricorn but that's about as grounded as it gets but I wouldn't like I wouldn't

I'm not like, I wouldn't, I would believe that you had Earth. Oh, really? Yeah. Thank you. I think it's, I will take that also as a compliment because I like, I really prioritize the things that are grounding to me in my life because I know that I am naturally the person that's like floating in the clouds. And also this industry I'm in is so disconnected from reality.

But also with the whole like moment of the white lotus, like that was a big thing. and probably the biggest thing I've ever done like on a like it was a cultural phenomenon people kept saying and it was but but also it wasn't like

I feel like because my career has kind of been a more steady build over the last 14 years like I've never really had something that was like oh she's an overnight success it's like every couple years

there's like a couple things that come out that are like a little more people see a little more people you know I get a slightly bigger job or whatever and so the White Lotus seemed like Like, I've been taking some steps, and then the White Lotus was, like, two steps up as opposed to just, like, overnight, I experienced what that was.

Yeah. That's really healthy, then. Yeah. That feels like a healthy growth. Yeah. Like a TikTok sensation overnight, get to a million. No. I definitely haven't had the overnight thing.

So did it feel like to you? I have overnight oats. I had those this morning. Did you feel like with the White Lotus success, like, for people that were like, whoa, getting to know you for the first time, maybe? were you like, I've been here. I've been around, babe. Was I, like, did I have any annoyance at that? I sometimes was like in interview, I mean, obviously I was promoting the White Lotus,

but like it was like all everyone wanted to talk about, which I get it. I mean, it was great. So, no, I didn't really. No, I mean, I get it. It was the biggest thing. And also you played Porsche that, so you worked with Jennifer Coolidge, who exploded at that time. Yeah. And I could answer questions about working with her all the time.

No. By the way, I did this, like, red carpet gig for a movie with J-Lo and Jennifer Coolidge was in it. And J-Lo was the star and Jennifer Coolidge was like the mom. It's called like a shotgun wedding. It was a Josh Jamil too. Okay. Well, you were in that movie? No, no, I was interviewing on the red carpet. Oh, okay. Cool. And all everybody wanted to ask out was what's it like working on Jennifer Coolidge. And they had to say like Jennifer Coolidge because there was Jennifer Lopez in it too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like everyone, like Jennifer Coolidge. She just came off like the white lotus. It was fucking crazy. Well, she is like one of a kind. Yeah.

Like she is just like, she is an icon. Yeah. So everyone's like, oh, it's iconic. But Jennifer Coolidge is an icon. So how was it working with her? It was iconic. It was amazing. I mean, she's a genius, but she's also nuts.

Yeah. And like just watching her like go off and riff and like like lose something and then come back. I was just like in awe. or laughing the whole time. Like, I'd never been on a set doing a scene with someone and, like, had to hold in laughter. Really? So I've done a lot of comedies. And sometimes even in a comedy, people aren't actually that funny when you're working with them.

But, like, Jennifer is so unexpected and, like, just like on her own planet, but also somehow so present. Yeah. Like, it was great. Did you see that Kelsey Valerini recently told the story that she auditioned for your part? I did see that. Yeah. They sent me that article.

It was like literally like two days ago. A lot of people audition for The White Lotus. Like I auditioned or did I audition for the first? No, I couldn't do the audition for the first season. But I put my ex on tape for the first season. I know a lot of people that auditioned for different roles for the second season. It's a desirable television show. Did you know that at the time?

Like when you audition for Portia, like was it, it got the hype from season one so you knew. Yeah. But it really only keeps growing. Even though I will say your season wasn't only like, I think, a favorite, obviously. Also, the, like, lore of the cast and the shenanigans and the...

I remember I posted a photo of your cast hanging out and I had FOMO, like, I had FOMO. It was a wild time. Like, the... It was wild. It was wild, huh?

Yeah. What can you tell us? Give us something, something. I don't know if I could tell you anything. Anything. Because it was wild. We'll be right back after the break. Most holiday gifts end up in a drawer or the back of your closet, let's be honest, or accidentally left your cousin's house.

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Wow. It was like just a really fun time, but also nuts. Like sometimes I look back on those memories. I was like, did that actually happen? Stop. I can't. I'm dying right now. I am fucking dying right now.

Yeah, I saw actually, because some of my friends know the details of at least my lore filming. And one of them sent me a quote from Jason Isaac in from the third season in his promo. he said something about like the lore of the actual cast being as entertaining or whatever and they sent it to me and I was like took the words

right out of my mouth. Okay, but that was different. They had like, did they have? No, no, no, no, babe. Oh, what did they have? I don't really know about theirs. No, so different than yours.

It was more like there were rumors about beef on their season. Yeah, and there was like, yeah. That's a good show. Beef. Not the, there is a show. Oh, that's such a good show. Yeah.

And they're supposed to be beef too. There's beef on beef. There's beef on beef and like new actors and like, like supposed to be fun. Wow. That's a double cheeseburger. Be fumpy.

I'm sorry. You know what you did to me right now with saying what you said. Yeah. Did I? Yeah. What did I wait? What? I made you horny about the gossip.

About the fucking gossip. Like I said just enough, but then withheld. That's what you like. Your eyes. Okay. Your brain was, I just know. Oh, yeah. Like, look at me.

Like, I don't know what to do right now. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. For me. I'll just say you let me tease. It's not even like, I don't care if they don't know. Okay.

I am dying. You know what I mean? Okay, I'll tell you later. Because I'll tell you why. It came across. Like, you could just feel it, whatever the rumors were. It's like you just know, like, I mean, we know about like the Aubrey Plaza and the mushrooms.

Like, we know that Megan. Oh. No, Aubrey Plaza and the mushrooms just makes sense to me. But I don't know. I don't know the details there. Well, no, her and Megan did shrooms and, like, hiked or something. And they told the story on, like, a talk show. Okay.

And then we know that Megan and Leah are together our IRL now. I mean, that's news that we know. So dying inside your game. giving nothing, huh? I'm giving everything. But you were in on it. You were part of like the horniness is what I will. Part of the horniness. She's trying to get more out of me. She's part of the horniness. I'm always part of the horniness. No, it was a crazy time. It was a fucking crazy time. And it was like truly a bubble. Like, yeah. And then the bubble popped and it'll never exist again.

Like you have to go into that single or like it won't be good. What do you think that Porsche is up to now? because she got some hate, she got some, like, did you, journey with, like, did you feel like you have to, like, defend her? Yeah. I did at a certain time. Like, I went through, I went through a roller coaster with, like, my opinions on the Porsche opinions. Because at first, I, like, I took it personally.

And then I thought it was hilarious. And then I was like, oh, my God, this is what we tried. Like, this is what Mike does with the show. This was, like, we were making this girl. So obviously, people are going to see her and have opinions on her and all these characters. Because it, like, kind of, like, reflects back things in us that we don't want to see, which is what the whole show is. And she, like, very much represented that girl of this generation. So then I thought, then I was kind of proud of it.

And then I, like, read something about someone saying, like, that Portia was the, like, biggest villain in the show. And I was like, that's actually misogyny. Yeah, I was going to say that's sexist. like missing the point. Like, and what? Like, so, I don't know, I went through a whole journey with it. And then you said, Portia haters need to go to therapy. Yeah, that's when I was on the point where I was like.

Where you lost it. Where I lost it. That's you losing it. Go to therapy. Yeah, that's my, what are the kids going on at crash out? That's my crash out. It's just begging people to go to therapy. Take care of yourselves and figure your problems out.

Wait, what is the Aubrey Plaza stalking story? And by the way, can I say? that I don't know what it is. I, for serious, didn't look into what it was. Okay, because you really want to hear in the moment? Yes. You want to hear it from the source? Yes.

So I'm just obsessed with her. I always have been. She's really easy to obsess over her because she's also like similar to Jennifer, but also completely different. Like she is just so herself and does her, like she is also an icon to me and to a lot of others. So what happened? How did I even start? I got invited.

I don't know how I ended up. up. I got some sort of invite to like a Chucky movie that Aubrey was starring in. And I knew Aubrey was starring in it. So I showed up. Like I don't even know how we got invited at the time. To the premiere you show? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I went there, you know, to see her. And I told her how much I loved her. And she was like, just stared at me and then walked away. Wait, did she, did you have movies out? Like, did people know you at that point? She didn't know me out. But she didn't. Oh, you know, actually, no, I had said something really creepy and alarming to her at a, at a award show once. So I'd, like, kind of been sprinkling my obsession.

Remember me? I said something creepy and a lot of an award show. Yeah, I forget exactly how it happened. But basically, I decided that night she was avoiding me at this premiere. So I, like, befriended her cousins and her best friend. And I got them to invite me to her birthday party, like a week later. And then I showed up to her birthday party. Aubrey didn't invite me.

I don't think she knew I was coming. But I showed up to her birthday party because I made really good friends with her cousins. But all this is part of the master plan. Yeah. Well, the master plan was being... Her best friend. Like, written as I was going. I was just, like, desperately doing anything to get close to Aubrey.

So I showed up to her birthday party. And I, like, followed her. She was, like, obviously, talking to all the guests because it was her birthday. And, like, I followed her and I just stood there. And she just went, you. No. And then walked away. No.

And that was, like, the only interactions. She is iconic. Yeah, she's iconic. And then when I got White Lotus, she was already. cast and I got a text from an unknown number with just a knife and a drop of blood. Stop. And I knew it was Aubrey. I knew.

No one said, Aubrey's going to be texting you. I don't know how she got my number, probably from her cousin. But I just got a knife and a drop of blood. And I was like, oh, my God, Aubrey Ploss says, texted me. Wait, so she remembered those two encounters. Oh, yeah. They didn't mean nothing to her. No, no, I think, like, I think it was meaningful for her, too.

That's like what a serial killer says. Yeah, no, but. No, but, but honestly. murdered there's like she she wants to be murdered she loves like the game so you knew what you were doing i think i like just trusted my instinct secretly you knew it you were like yeah it is weird but for her it's not weird no like she'll get the weird yeah she got it all right so she gave it back she gave it she a knife in a job of blood did you answer i was just like Aubrey Aubrey is it true and yeah and now like are you friends we're friends you're friends

yeah i'm still obsessed with her so they're There will always be that element of stalker and me with her. Like you think it can't be like equals. I don't think so. Not from my end. Because I do, I do, I do, like, I do idolize her. She is better than me. She is.

Is there still a group chat or anything? Season two, best season ever. You mean? Avoid lettuce. No. Like I'm saying, it's a bubble. And then you go. Actually, I did.

I spoke to an actress friend about this recently. and she really was like, because she knows I love industry talk. And she was just telling me, like, exactly that. Like, it's a bubble. Exactly what you're saying. Yeah. And there's a reason, by the way,

because of how fucking crazy it is in that bubble. Yeah. Sometimes the bubbles are crazier than others. And sometimes you do, like, like I do have friends that, like, I feel like I can rely on and will be friends for years and have been friends for years

that I've met as, like, another actor on a project I've done. But sometimes you just, always just have a soft spot in your heart for that person even if you never talk to them again or just see them at a random event like five years later right you're just like oh my god you and like you love them but also like you don't have a present like consistent relationship right but you'll always have cicely yeah yeah well what i love about you is like i feel like you've said before also which i feel like has caught win now that you're not afraid to be cringe you've said that before wow have i sure

Yes. I feel that way. And this poetry helped me. Yeah. Because to be, to be cringes, to be free. Oh my God. You had a line in one of your poems that said something about swinging car keys on an erect nipple. Oh, yeah. That's like not a poem, but that's how I gave credit to Lily, who is my best friend and designed all the art in the book. Yeah, I said art by Lily Jade Crave. It's the first person to see me dangle. Yeah, dangle car keys on my erect nipple. True story. Strong, powerful nipples. Stop. Yeah.

That usually happens after. Is that getting you going to? I was thinking about it because I was like, like, I feel like my nipples until I gave birth were like softies. You have strong or wrecked lady nipples? I have post birth nipples since I was like 14. What? Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. How? You know, I always would see, because I feel like on when women get nude on TV. Yeah. I feel like they, like, may put some ice or something to get them erect. Oh. You don't need that. I wouldn't need that.

You just... Mine are... Well, they're medium now. They're medium now. Well, my right is a little hard. So back to the cringe, even though the car keys on the thing was giving. I love that you have, like, fan girls stories, even though, like, you're famous in your own right, you're in this world, but you still cried when you met Miley Cyrus.

You had the whole Jonas Brothers thing. Did I cry when I meet my... You said Ched a tear. I shed a tear. We'd like to blow things up on this podcast. We're dramatic here. We'd like to dramatize that. Yeah.

So you met Miley. I sobbed. I fell on my knees and sobbed. You got emotional. Yeah. When you met Miley. Because her album meant so much too. Yes.

And it really represented like when that album came out was that big breakup for me. And it was like really like freedom. And you told her. And I told her. And she was probably so sweet because she's Miley. She was so sweet. She was just being Miley. She was just being Miley.

And then I saw her in Paris Hilton dance together. And I was like, this is such a Hollywood experience. So you take it, you soak it in. Yeah. I love being an observer in those moments. I love just being like, what? Wait, so what was the Jonas Brothers? Like, you were an obsessed fan.

I am a Jonas Brothers music video star. You don't know that about me? I know that. And I know that you manifested it and like had a dream. I'm really good at manifesting. So what was that like? Were you nervous? Were you like, this is a job?

I was, no. No part of me was professional. Every part of me was like the 11-year-old teeny bopper that just like fully was living her dream. That like, no one ever thinks when you're like 11 and 12 and have like a teeny bopper obsession with a boy band, like you have kind of some delusion that you're going to marry them one day. But like as you start getting older, you realize like I will never even be in the same room as these people, no less marry one of them. And I was in the same room as them.

I was in their music video. I met their parents. How did it happen? I have Nicholas's guitar pick that he played that night. Where is it? It's, well, I actually just moved. So it's, I think, still in a box. Okay.

But I know where it is. Yes. Wait, you were a Nick girl and now you're a Joe girl? No, I'll always be a Nick girl. I was a Nick girl too. But Joe's single. But, yeah, but I will always be a Nick girl. Joe was single.

Joe's single. Last time I texted him, he never responded. Really? I mean, he only really responded to me the time when we were planning the music video, which was literally a highlight of my life. So you were like, let's plan it harder. Well, I just like tried texting one other time never heard from him again. Really? Yeah, but I still love them. Joseph. You're out here making TikToks. You have time to answer. I know you're on your phone. Do we know? I know you're on your phone. Disappointed. Oh, wait. Was it recently that you texted? No. Oh, okay.

because he's on his phone I see he pops up for me I know, I know Maybe I should try again You should try again It's like hey I'll just send him the eyes But would it be weird I'll send him a seal

The seal's my favorite emoji Why? I just love it It's like kind of sexy Because it's slippery Yeah it's slippery And she's naked And she's just like

Wait do you send that That's your like Yeah No stop Yeah my seal's my thing That's your like Pickup Line Yeah is the seal

emoji Yeah I get it The seal I'm getting I'm tracking in the sale. I'm tracking. Okay. I just wanted to make a comment because I feel like people think you look a lot like Zoe. Zoe Deutsch. Yeah. Do you get the people think you're like the same? Yeah. Yeah. I have had I don't, by the way, swearsies. I don't. You don't see it? I do not. In real life, you don't. Did you see it? I don't. I don't see it. Oh, okay. Do you? I kind of see it. I think she's like beautiful. So I'm honored.

Right. She is and so are you. But I just don't see the same. I feel like if, We could be sisters, and I'm like the more like cherubic one, and she's like the more like fashion. Hey, cherubic. I cannot. I have a cherubic energy and shape. I'm definitely boobah. This is what it is. Zoe's the Kiki.

I'm the booba. I know you're reality TV fan. Yeah, dating shows specifically. Okay, so Bacheloretta are you going to watch with Taylor Frangy Paul? A few seasons ago, I kind of fell off with The Bachelor. Let me guess when? When? When was Clayton.

You know, I don't want to say... Okay, so you fell off either after Clayton? Well, was he sweet? He kind of really fucked up because Gabby was so... I mean, look at Gabby now, though. Yeah, look at Gabby now. Okay, Gabby now. Look at Gabby now.

She is thriving. She's living her truth. Did you stop it clean? I think Chloe might have been... Was Joey after? I think... Joey, yeah, yeah. And that was a sweet season.

You're such a romantic. That's why you watch the dating shows. Yeah, I know. And it also, like, dating shows, like the chaos and insanity and pain that these people go through like makes me feel less alone about the stuff that I go through, I think. It's like, oh my gosh.

Yeah, because it's so psycho. Yeah, it's so psycho. Like, and love is blind, did you watch the last time? The last season was such a bummer because, like, I do like when there's a glimmer of, like, actual love or real connection. And on that season, no one. I was like, come on, you have to have a love story in the end here.

You gave up on the dating shows. No, I like Love Island. And I love married at first sight. is crazy. Oh my God. That's psychotic. Have you watched that? I've watched it, yeah. I've contemplated going on it before. I mean, I mean, I mean, you know what? Once in an interview on a red carpet, someone asked me, if you could be on any show, hit show from this year, what would you be on? And I was like, Love Island. And the people from Love Island reached out to my agents and called me on it. It was like, does she want to go on the season? Would you fly? Here's a real

question for you. Yeah. And you know they're listening. I could have been on. on this last season of Love Island U.S. Okay. That was a fucked up season. Would you fly to Fiji to host a game and fly back? Okay, I've never watched the games. No, like the challenges. Oh, you mean a game on.

Right, right, right. No, no, no. Like if they were like, Haley, come host. I want to be the host. Oh. One day, if Ariana doesn't want to do it anymore. You're in. Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. You're saying it for realzies. I think I would definitely be the host before I'd be the contestant because I'm a little more protected. Right. But you want to be there. And I can definitely like dress up hot every night. I would love that.

You would love that. Yes. Were you a dancer? Yeah. Okay. Such a dancer's body. No, but I could just tell by your body. Really?

Yeah. Even in this outfit? Yeah, like the way like I could tell. Okay. Thank you. I love dancers. Oh. It's getting hornier.

Oh, wow. You still have the crochet page on Etsy? I do. Do you want something? What could you crochet me? Whatever your heart desires. Do you upload new stuff? I do really like sporadically randomly.

Sometimes I'll do like a big drop like once every drop. She's like this is road like Haley Beaver's road. She does the Etsy crochet drops. I do the Etsy crochet drops. I'm pretty much a mogul. A crochet mogul. But yeah, it's really just like the thing I love about crochet is it's a form of art and creation that I put no pressure on myself.

self. It's just something like I can tactile, make, and create, and it's wonderful and fulfilling and grounding. And I, like, don't care if I'm the best at it or have a timeline for it. So it's like, I love that it's like that. So I just like, when I get a burst of inspiration for crochet, it's all I'm doing for like six months. And then I'll do my drop. And then the drop. And is it, does it sell out? Are you like sold out? You know, the last couple drops I've done with my crochet and also I've really been into jewelry making lately, those have sold out pretty quick. I'll do like a little Insta story. A little link. A little Etsy link.

But then if you're selling it, you have to have them already. So that means you were crocheting for a while. It is exhausting to like package them up, put them in the boxes, do the label. And you're doing it. Yeah, me and my mom. How cute is Haley Lou Richards in? Like I just like, one to fucking 10, a 10 out of 10. A 10 out of 10, a 10 adorable. Thank you so. much for coming on. Oh, thank you. Everybody go get her book. I'm sad and horny. Are you horny yet? I'm horny. Babe, did you not see? I got horny. Okay. And you're still there? I'm there. I'm there. Everyone get it. It's out now. Please do get it. Yes. Yeah. It's actually like I did, I wrote the book partially because I wanted

to release and felt like I needed to release in this way and just made sense to me. But I also am really hoping that anyone, one person gets it and opens it up. and reads one of the poems and, like, feels comforted and relates, like, that they're not alone. That's very neat to me. So I just... I think a lot of girls would relate to it. I hope. Thank you, Hayd. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much

on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.