Not Skinny But Not Fat - It’s Not That Deep! w/ Cody Rigsby

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Cody Rigsby is one of Peloton’s favorite instructors and entertainers! He’s also hilarious and loved by the masses. Through his relatable style of training and belief that balance is the way to go- Cody remains top of his field! Now he took everything he’s learned along the way and put it in his new book: Xoxo Cody. We discuss growing up in North Carolina, how he got the Peloton gig, loving yourself, and not taking shit too seriously! Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. From the offices of Create and Cultivate, I'm Jacqueline Johnson, the host of Work Party, a podcast for ambitious women looking to create and cultivate the career of their dreams. Work Party is paving the way for a new generation of women, women who are redefining the meaning of work on their own terms. Every Wednesday, we bring in leading female powerhouses for Real Talk and BS. free advice on building your business. You'll hear from female founders, CEOs, entrepreneurs, creatives, and so many other badass ladies. Are you ready to create and cultivate the career

of your dreams? Then tune in to Work Party, the podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the show and never miss an episode. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny But on Instagram. I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking a shit with your best friends in your living room. Cody?

Hey, oh, are we, is it official now? Yeah. We're going. Okay. Hey. Beauty. How are you? I'm well.

How are you? I'm good. Good. Welcome to my show. Thanks for having me. And the last time we were on a bed. We were. That's how I meet a lot of people for the first time.

I know. I don't know about you. I'm trying to remember if you had a boyfriend then. Did I know? We were broken up at the time. That was during the hiatus. Oh, yeah. Because I think you were in your like.

Single slut era. Yeah. Sounds about right. Sounds about right. Yeah. And now you're not anymore. No, we've rekindled, gotten back together. And moved in.

And moved in. Is it called your apartment? Yeah. That's like a big thing. I know. We kind of like started back where we were, like we were about to do that. So it was kind of just like. How long were you dating before?

Four years. Four years. Oh wow. So now it's five. So now with a hiatus. Oh my God. Mm-hmm. Wait, like how long was a hiatus?

Six months, I think. Okay. And then you got back together. Mm-hmm. We did long distance for like, six months. How old is he? That's a great question. He's about to be 33. 33. And you're 36, which we love in this podcast. 36? The age 36? Yeah. I love. I love. I love people that are in their 30s plus. Yeah, we love that. You know, if someone comes on my show and they're 22,

I'm like, you got to go. You don't have enough life experience. Yeah. Fair enough. I can't have that here. Fair enough. Yeah. And I love that you do. Some would say. You're a man of the world a man of the world a full man wait so now you're living together yeah does that mean like this is the one i think so yeah yeah i mean i'm also just someone who takes things very slow like there's no rush there's no rush to like we waited a long time to even move in together like marriage and stuff will happen when it's right so like we'll have that conversation i don't know i've always thought about that that's weird like i don't know who would take that on themselves yeah i think here's my thing with oh i feel like every couple should do is like i feel like you should

have a conversation about getting married but then there's no surprise i think that's fine yeah you're okay with no surprise yeah i because i think marriage is more about see how mature you are and love and maturity then like oh my god this moment that i got surprised like yeah you're right i think you should have a conversation like hey i'm digging you i see a life with you do you think you would want to marry me yeah And then, like, you know, it's not like the next day you whip out the ring. Yeah. Maybe six months a year from then.

You're like, now we do it. And there's still that element of surprise. Wait, how good for your branding that you're back together because you have this book coming out. I know. I mean, well, either way. You can go either way with it. XOXO Cody.

Yes. And it is like dating. Yeah. Advice kind of relationship stuff. Well, the title is XOXO Cody. Take a nice deep breath. Okay. An opinionated homosexuals guide to say.

self-love relationships and tactful pettiness. I gotta get as much practice as I paid for that title and take deep breaths. Are you going to say take a moment every time before you say that? Possibly. Possibly. Wait, maybe the last line and what pettiness? Tactful pettiness. Okay, explain that one to me. Tackful pettiness. That is kind of like, you know, I'm so known for being brash and saying things up front and telling it like it is. And I feel like, you know, when Beyonce says like the best revenge you can get is your paper. It's like, yeah, you want to be petty, but like do it with like honesty and truth. And in a way that doesn't like take away your dignity or shows the cards

that you have. I saw this TikTok recently that I feel like defined tactful pettiness the best way possible. And I don't know if this is an actual true story, but if it is, it's perfect. Yeah. It was this woman who married an older guy and she signed a pre-up, but she signed the pre-nup in like invisible ink or ink that like erased after time so they like went back when they wanted to get a divorce and like so the pre-nup was like void and so she got half the money and I was like that itself is tactful petty news like it's petty but you did it right baby do you feel like that's your secret sauce I don't think that's my secret sauce but I think that's part of the it's part of the recipe I feel like the book is more about self-love and loving yourself

through your flaws and your traumas, loving yourself enough to know your worth, love yourself enough to love yourself, date yourself, know yourself before you jump into any relationship. And so I really feel like I go through a lot of my stories, some that are super deep and serious, but also the duality of like who I feel I am is through like levity and purpose and having fun and laughing at ourselves, most importantly. Did you always love yourself? No. I feel like I didn't really start this journey of self-love.

And I talk about it in the book really until a breakup, like my last serious boyfriend probably like six years ago where I really started to go to therapy and I started to meditate and I started to really sit with myself and my crazy and my thoughts. You went due to the breakup like you were in a bad space. Yeah, I was like in such a bad space and I like was in so much pain that I really had to like go through it and that was a really big process but that was I think it's an ongoing process of self-love yeah but I think that was the genesis of like my relationship with myself which sounds crazy right like where were you yeah like 26 in New York City and like just

now starting a relationship with ourselves I don't feel like a lot of us have that well I think that's why when I said before like I'm so happy you're 36 that's part of what I mean yeah showed already in the few minutes that we started why and I'm not saying if you're 20 if you're 20 I'm jealous like live your life have fun I fucking love it but I do think there's something about turning 30 and getting to know yourself knowing exactly that relationship listening to yourself I was just giving that example I did a podcast right before this and I was like I used to do things that had no reason yeah like everyone got like a vodka cranberry I got a vodka yeah like I didn't like vodka why am I not doing what I want to do. I don't know myself. What am I drinking? And now I'm that girl that's like, do I want the tequila? Like, I'll take the time to decide on the fucking drink I want and I'm not going to just get something. Because somebody else is. Right. Or do something because somebody else is doing. Or because like that's, yeah, that's what everyone's doing, you know? I love that. So I love that you got this relationship with yourself at that age. And I think that is normal though. Yeah. I think the 20s are a good time to be

messy. Make mistakes. Be a dumbass. Yeah. I think your 30s. I feel like any. time that I hear that someone's turning 30 and they're like, oh, I'm turning 30. Like, no, baby. Like, your 30s are amazing. You know yourself. You are more in tune with who you are. And hopefully, you have more money because your 30s can be like as messy or as fun as your 20s with money.

Yes. You know? Yes. Okay. So you are a Gemini. Yes. Which made someone sense to me. Oh, yeah?

I'm a Gemini too. Oh, when's your birthday? May 31st. Okay. she's a maid Gemini right on the cuss right on the cuss I know but for men like okay so women are you about to ask me like where I was born in what time no I don't fucking know that shit I just always thought that like women Gemini's are like fun quirky like all those things but like I don't know if I'd want to be in a relationship with a male Gemini oh you know what I mean like I feel like

men at least straight ones get like a bad maybe it comes out differently for like a straight I mean, I would say I'm probably a lot to deal with. So I don't know. I can see that. But do you have like patterns in relationships that are difficult or? Yeah. For sure. And I've learned to undo them and I'm still learning to undo them. Yeah. I feel like just in the same way that personal therapy has helped me figure out who I am. Yeah. Me and my boyfriend are doing couples therapy right now because I feel like when we got back together we were like listen we want to do this right we don't want to just jump into this like speaking of patterns like let's figure out what wasn't working let's fix that let's let's learn to communicate better let's learn to understand

each other better and I feel like that's me trying to like through the reflection of the relationship trying to figure out my bullshit and what I'm bringing to the table and do better with I love that yeah mature decision yeah for sure was it yours no it was our idea Like, no, it's just that, like, I'm such, I'm a firm believer in therapy. And interesting enough, I think there's, I learned that the stigma from therapy is such bullshit once I started going to therapy and how beautiful it can be. Yeah. I think on the same spectrum or same space, there's all this stigma against couples going to therapy of like, okay, you must be doomed. Like, what is the problem?

Like, just the same way that you're learning to develop yourself when you go talk to your therapist, I think that couples doing the same thing. You're right. You guys, stop everything. Stop everything you're doing right out. And I'm here to remind you about each and every. Each and every is my new favorite natural deodorant. And if you're not using a natural deodorant, what are you doing? That's like the first step. Literally, each and every safe ingredients, high quality, ethically sourced. I love each and every. But I also love it because it's actually good. Like it works. I saw this meme that was like, girls, it's 100 degrees. like throw out your natural deodorant, get the real stuff. This is not true about each and every because it actually works. And I was in Israel this summer in a thousand degrees and I never smelled. Never ever. My favorite scent is the cedar and vanilla.

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Visit dololol life.com to find a store near you that carries Delola and follow Delola on Instagram to learn more. Please enjoy responsibly. Now therapy for individuals is mostly just stigmatized, right? Yeah. It's like cool now. Everyone goes to therapy. But couples therapy still has the stigma.

It's like, oh, what's wrong there? Exactly. You're right. And I'm also someone who believes that like you shouldn't be just going to therapy when things are wrong. Right. If you're not kind of doing that as a maintenance, like also going to therapy and talking about the success, the joy, the happiness, the good things. Even though it doesn't appeal sometimes like a waste of money when you just. I know. Yes, it does. You're like, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. And I was gloating the whole time. Yeah, but what other spaces do you talk to yourself in like a really positive way? Right. Like, no, you're not sitting there and be like, oh, yeah, like, life is good. I am happy. My job is going well. I love my partner. Yeah.

Where can you say that where, like, you really feel supported unless it's somebody that's being paid to listen to you? Don't shit on it. Wait, but I want to talk about your whole story because people know you today and they might not even have a Peloton. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you love that? Are you like, I love that you're here. Like, what excites you more, like, an audience member, a friend.

follower somebody that comes up to you that loves you because they take your classes or because they found you online just think you're funny i love that people find some sort of joy in whatever it is that i put out into the world if it's ticto content if it's peloton content if it's my book like i just want to infuse everything that i do with a little bit of purpose yeah and so however you might have found me and i gave you a good little laugh and i brought a little joy into your life hopefully yeah i think it's it's great i think there's a little bit more weight into peloton members just because i've been on that journey i just celebrated like nine years of teaching at peloton so it's been almost a decade in the making wow that's actually insane i know

i know and so knowing that people have been on the journey with me and how saw you as a boy a boy with a horrible man bun haircut when i started oh you can find the pictures online i love a man but moment why you cringe at it now oh god it was so bad it just wasn't it was not huge wait did you know when you got into peloton what it was going to be no what did you think then honestly was anybody already famous from it and no i mean robin kind of robin probably had like a hundred thousand instagram followers at the time and had written a book and like was kind of like the most famous of us but i don't think anybody was like popping off the way that they are now yeah no when i started Peloton, I was just like, I was coming out of being a commercial dancer, kind of tired of that,

running around these streets, just trying to make a dollar. Like, I worked at the box in the Lower East Side. I was cater waiting. Okay, wait. Tell people what the boxes. The box is a club in the Lower East Side that has a very interesting burlesque show. No, when I went to the box, somebody peed on the stage. Yeah, exactly.

So that's an interesting. That's an interesting burlese show. And so my job, there's also topless dancers there. Yeah. My job was to stop patrons, drunk patrons, maybe not drunk, but mostly, from taking pictures of the show and or the topless girls, A, to protect the girls because, like, they were showing the tities. And then, B, I guess, you know, to protect the IP of the box so people weren't stealing the ideas. So they had probably like three or four shows. Were you like security?

Essentially. I was like an elevated prettier security. Like, I just was like, no, not that. No, no, thank you. Right, because even though men could be, or whoever was on stage could be being on stage, it's still like a, you can't get in to the box. Yeah, it's a very. No one was good. It's not a spot where someone would like punch you for being like no pictures. They'd like respect.

I'm not. I'm too pretty to fight anybody, even for whatever they were paying me an hourly rate. I would, if someone was to get violent or rude, I would go get the real security. I'm not, I'm not getting a black eye for someone's titty. Sorry, ladies. So you were working there. And then did you see like an ad? No.

So one of the directors there of the show had a connection to the guy that worked at Peloton. And so he sent an email knowing that that director knew performers. Wait, one of the directors of the box? One of the directors of the show. So like the director, choreographer of the show had a connection, I think a college connection to one of the earlier employees of Peloton. And so obviously that person knew that he knew performers. And literally the email was like, hey, do you know any performers that would be into fitness? and so I worked out and I was a dancer so he was like hey would you be interested in this

and I was like yeah why not what was the audition like literally there was no audition I walked in had a cute face and had a job 20 minutes later really yeah and you didn't have to show that you could bike no they're like we'll train you like next week it's a whole different company like right right did you do did you like cycling at that point did you like once in a while would take a spin class at like the gym that I went to but it wasn't something that I consistently or knew how to teach. So it's like literally I had to figure it out. So you took this opportunity as like a job?

Yeah, like as a job to like make some money. Yeah. But I didn't see the career. Yeah. That was possible probably into like a year or two into it. I think John Foley at the time was always like preaching this like vision. And I was like, yeah, sure girl, sure girl. And then like once I got into it, I was like, oh wait, this could actually happen.

So I like really dove into it. Isn't that wild how random things are? Yeah. Wait, like growing up, were you into theater, like being in entertainment? Did you think you were going into that world? Yeah, so I was definitely like a theater kid. Yeah. I was in plays and show choir and musicals, even though I can't sing Ren, my assistant.

I didn't combat that, but she wants me to get there. Wait, you think she can sing? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's barely. Okay. Do not ask me. I am not. Please, I would never.

So I was definitely that girl. The only thing that I, the only sport I was ever good at was tetherball. What's tetherball? You know, it's a recess game with like a pole and like a rope and a ball and you like, and it spins around. And I was only really good at it because I was tall. Wait, and now are you good at sports? Sports, no, but like working out.

Yeah. I'm not competitive. Like, being competitive in a sport sounds so stupid. In gym class, like I, like, if the poor straight boys that were in my like high school gym class and like on like when we had days that we played. to sport like basketball and I was on their team I would like purposely like do bad because they would get so angry and take it so seriously now I was just like being a little punk that's all that's so cute but you you didn't come out till later right oh like come out the closet yeah

yeah it's like 19 college gotcha but everyone knew but oh yeah you think it's like look at me like I can't hide this come on babe because you grew up in North Carolina what's a like there growing up there lots of strip malls and fast food restaurants and I don't know and you stayed there for college good food great food amazing food beautiful food beautiful food beautiful food oh love that but not my place and you stayed there for college yeah that's wild that's a choice I tried to come up here I did try to transfer my sophomore year yeah I tried to go to Marymount Manhattan and I also tried to go to AMDA because I was still trying to which is like a design no it's like a musical theater school oh yeah yeah yeah but it's like a two year

school and they charge you like $100,000 a semester. Oh, yeah. So glad I didn't go. I applied to both, got into both. And then even when I was 19, I was like, I'm not going into $100,000 or more into debt to go to school. I was like, I'm good. I'll just stay here for a few years and figure it out. And I'm so glad I did. Did you dorm there? Were you like living in the home? Yeah, I was in the dorm my freshman year. A great story in my book about it. And then what about your next year's? I lived with a friend off campus. Then I, my mom was. kind of going through it and I went to school in the same town that I grew up in. So I moved back in with my mom to help her with like bills and stuff. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. And then in my

senior year I moved back out to like with some randoms. So you graduated and when you graduated did you immediately move? Oh yeah. I just celebrated 14 years in New York City. July 7th is my New York anniversary 14 years. That happened. Yeah just now. He celebrated it. Oh my God. Congrats. Do you feel like a New Yorker? Absolutely. Yeah. Honey, when that 10 year mark, I was like, I'm a New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker. I'm someone's like, where are you from? I'm from North Carolina, but I am a New Yorker.

You're a New Yorker. Yeah, I love the city. So did you know, though, that you were going to move? Like, when you were in college, like, no way to graduate. Like, I'm moving out of here. Because I came here, I came here, like, between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college, like a little trip with my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend and I just fell in love with the city.

Yeah? Yeah. So when you moved here, did you have in mind, like, what you wanted to do? I thought I was going to do, like, theater and stuff like that. Oh, like that you were going to audition and... But then I kind of fell in love with commercial dance. So that's like... What does that mean?

That's like stuff you'd see in like a hip-hop video or a music video or TV, like backup for artists and stuff like that. So I really... Did you get jobs in that? Yeah, I was always a great dancer. I think that's why I like really gravitated towards like musicals and stuff. Yeah. But then once I came here to train, I really fell in love with that aspect of it and I was good at it. So I danced professionally for like four or five years.

But isn't it, isn't it like rigorous the auditioning process? Yeah. it's also just like a ton of mental games of bullshit like I don't know like what like when they cut people and leave people and like that kind of thing I mean like listen it's such a small world and I think the hard part of being a dancer and artist at all is just you put so much of your self-worth in other people validating you yeah you know like it doesn't it's no longer and I think that's a big reason why I kind of left the dance world or got tired of it is because I took something that was passionate about and was fun and then turning that into a job you just

it misses with you mentally where you put so much of your self-worth and your happiness in booking work and other people validating you when there's so many other parts of the puzzle that you have no control over that gets mixed in that you can't always separate. Does that make sense? Do you still dance now? I mean, I did dance with the stars and we've done dance cardio at Peloton but no, I've hung up my dancing shoes as far as that. No, but do you ever like do work out dance classes or no oh my god i'd love to see you dance i should i feel like me and my friend always say we should go back to the to broadway dance center and take a class but i do so much working out you trained at broadway dance yeah i was it yeah i was an intern there in 2006 i remember getting

like a class there then was like 20 probably and that was like so much it's so expensive and probably now it's like 65 probably like a hundred and 30 in a very long time wait so tell me about doing these Peloton videos. I need to like, I need you to set it up for somebody that doesn't Peloton. Okay. You go into a studio. Yes, we have a beautiful, immaculate studio on 31st and 10th in Hudson Yards. There's a cycling studio, a tread studio, a strength studio, and a yoga studio. And obviously I'm on the cycling team. So we have beautiful state of the art, you know, cameras in there. Got the music bump in. We're like going through a great class that people take at home. Some of the classes we have

members come into the studio. Oh, sometimes members come in. Yeah, it's like a live studio audience. We love it. So it's just, it's like such a great gig. How many do you do a week? I think we're from like four to six. That is a bad. That's a listen, compared to people who teach in the boutique fitness space

like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There's people in the city who are teaching 10 to 12 classes a week. Right. Right. And I'm really fortunate that obviously Peloton's business is based on like scale. Like we are doing this to the masses online. where people take it and so and we have a team of 50 instructors so I don't need to teach 12 15 classes in week like I have the privilege to teach 4 to 6 and it still has a lot of impact and

you know it's quality over quantity do you like design your own classes like what they're going to look like the vibe the music always always yeah like from the playlist to the programming to the stupid shit that I say it's all it's all it's all it's all up to me no censoring I mean if you've taking my class, you'd be hard to find censoring. And there are plenty of things that come my mouth. They're like, they let him say that. So, would you ever feel like because you're like, you got so, you know, popular for being this fitness dude? Do people ever like see you drinking and they're like, wait, that's not. No. Like, do you feel like you have to live this like healthy lifestyle or like portray this? Not at all. I think what I learned over the years was trying to,

to fit into that box of like what everyone thinks of a fitness instructor did not work for. me. Yeah. And I think so much of why people gravitate towards my class or my content is because like it's authentically me and I am a mess. Like I love eating shitty food. I love going out and being a mess and drunk and like having fun and dancing. Like I am not perfect. I don't try to be perfect. I don't try to say that I have this super well balanced like Zen life. Like I have a life that is full of joy and messiness but also a ton of like hard work and discipline. Like I don't believe in just trying to fit into one box. Oh, I love that.

That's way more relatable than, like, an instructor that has... It all put together. It all put together. It seems fake to me. And it's working for you. Like, if it was, like, I wouldn't want to take an instructor that, like, something's not working. You know, like, you're not...

People can smell bullshit. Yeah. But for you, it is. So you, what's your like, are you, like, 80-20? Like, do you try to be healthy most of the time? Yeah. I think 80-20 is a good fix. I think summer is really hard for me.

Because I'm out in these streets way too often. I'm shaking my ass. I'm out. What's happening in these streets, though? Dancing. Oh, like, drinking. Summer in New York is the time to have fun. And we are in our apartments for like seven to eight months when it's cold. So like when it's hot out, my cheeks are out.

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14. 14. 14 years. Yes. Do you ever get the itch to move to, like, L.A. or. To move? Yeah. I'm in L.A. enough that.

You get your fix. I get my fix. I mean, I'm there like once every two to three months where I'm doing work or whatever. And I love to visit L.A. Great food, great weather. People are questionable that that's subjective. And I love it. Same thing with Miami.

Like go down to Miami. Miami, yeah. Go to poolside, have food, turn up, go shopping, live it up. And then go back home. It's, I never have this desire to live, have, I don't have a desire to live anywhere else. Maybe when I'm older, somewhere international. Oh, okay. I know, like South America.

I love Brazil. So like maybe. but we'll get there when we get there. Oh my God, I love that. Have you ever lived in L.A.? No. Have you lived outside of New York? Well, yeah, I lived in Israel. Oh, we were talking about him. You said you visited. Do you speak Hebrew? Yeah, fully. Oh, work. Yeah. Wait, why were you there again? You said it was one of the first country that I visited. That's so wild. Right around the time I started Peloton about 10 years ago. Yeah. Right when I started the training process at Peloton, actually, all my friends were like, we're going to go for Tel Aviv Pride, which is so much fun. Oh, oh my God. Yeah. And so we spent like, I think eight days there.

That's so cool. Went to, like, Jerusalem, Haifa. And went to the Pride. Went to Pride. Oh, great. So much fun. Hot guys. Hot guys.

Hot women, too. I'm not into them, but beautiful women. Yeah. Incredible food. I love that food is so important to you. Oh, my God. I notice now, like, food is like really important. Yeah.

Like, why are we missing out on that? No, I know. Do you cook? I can cook. I just don't have the time. Does boyfriend cook? No. So you're just ordering it.

I cook more than he does. So you're ordering. or like, I think the stuff that I cook is just super efficient. Like, it's like throw something in the air fryer, like a piece of salmon or chicken and like have some sort of like rice or... You're not doing like a keesh. You're not like a baking. I could if I had the time. It's just like right now where my life is, the time is not spent on cooking.

If things were to slow down, it is something that I love to do. You would want to learn. Not right now. Yeah. You also bought a new house. I did. In Fire Island. Yeah.

That's always been a dream. Really? yeah fire island is very niche by the way you guys yeah that you know what that proves your new yorker yes yeah yeah i agree because fire island is like a hampton's vibe like kind of a summer hound situation for people that live in new york

yeah i've never been to the the straighter parts of fire island so the pines is a very gay community and so is cherry grove and those those two are very gay it is but there's little there's separate like communities that are like along the island and the pines is historically like a gay space and ever since i went there about i don't even 12 years ago yeah it just has this magic and this essence that i've always been like pulled towards yeah and it's just always been a dream and so since i had that i like could i did and then you bought the house

yeah did that feel like an amazing accomplishment yeah it's a dream like crystallized into the real form. And I just, there's something about interior design and making a space that really brings me a lot of joy. So also it's, I mean, it's a lot of work, but it's also like, I love it. So now living this life where you can like buy a house and like do all these things that you weren't doing before. Do you pinch yourself in moments and are like, whoa, or does it all make sense?

Are you like, no, meant to live this life, that me? You know what? If I'm going to be real, I think something that I'm working on. continue to work on is letting in the joy and going back to that conversation of like when life is good like go to your therapist and like celebrate those things I think sometimes it's hard for me to feel the successes or to feel the joy of the successes and I'm working on letting that in and giving myself space to feel that yeah I actually talk about this in my book you know I think growing up super poor and at times like not knowing where a meal is going to come from or not knowing

where we're going to live, I always feel that any sort of success or things are going to be fleeting or taken away from me at a moment's notice. So sometimes I feel like I don't feel the joy or let it in because I'm afraid of losing it. I know it's very deep. But does that also keep you grounded, you think? Sometimes. Sometimes. But I think it's important to like ground yourself and allow yourself to feel the good things instead of being afraid all the time. So you're working on that Working on it. I'm like enjoying the moment. Yeah.

And like, whoa, I did this. Yeah. And there's moments that I like sit there. I'm like, oh my God, this is incredible and amazing. And like I cry or I'm happy and I do it. But I know that there's a big part of me that still resists it. Yeah. How do your parents feel about your success?

It's just my mom. So my dad passed when I was like very young. And no, it's all good. I talk about it in my book. Like he died when I was very young. And so like I don't really feel like I have a connection to my dad. He just died when I was very young. It's like more of an idea than it is a person.

Yeah. Does your therapist try to tell you that you're lying to yourself? No. Okay. She accepts that? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Are you trying to therapists me and say I'm like about it?

No. No, because when I feel that my dad is not dead, but I feel the same way about him. Okay. And I feel like a lot of times that's not, it's like, no, she must be like, fuck talk about it or she must be. And it's like, no, I actually just don't feel like connection to it. No, I think for a long time I felt some sort of shame when I was growing up because I didn't, how old were you in? Like four months. Oh, wow.

That's really young. Yeah, very young. So I think when I was younger, I felt a lot of. shame towards it because you see all these people with normal families and like growing up a certain way. And then I kind of accepted us like, no, that's just like that was what was destined for me. Yeah. And I'm grateful that I grew up this way because it brought me to where I am. Yeah. And that more of the feelings that I had was more so the shame of comparing myself than it was of missing a person. Right. Because all you knew was just being raised by my mom.

Yeah. Yeah. No, only child. Only child. Yeah. But my mom is, you know, she's a character in her but she's super proud and she's you go out and visit her a lot i actually so i moved her to brooklyn she's like four blocks away from me shut up yeah she's getting older and she has like mental health issues and diabetes and you know i just want to make sure she's okay yeah essentially you know wow how old is she she's about to be i think 1994 70 in a year so she's 69 she just turned 69 and was she down into brooklyn yeah well first yeah so in 2019 and in October, I moved her to Nutley, New Jersey, because I was like, New York might be a little too much for it.

So it was like this little town in Jersey that's like an hour outside of New York. Yeah. And then that was just becoming too much of a commute. For you. Yeah. And even like, she was there during the pandemic. So I was like going out there, going to shop right. At the time, I was like washing her like groceries.

You know, we were all doing these crazy things during the pandemic. Right. But she's, you know, she's like a diabetic and old and I wanted to make sure she was okay. So I didn't. That's amazing. What an amazing sun. Thank you. You are.

Good for you. So the new book, XOXO Cody. When is it coming out? September 12th. You can pre-order it now. You can pre-order it now. And so many stories. Because look how many times you said it's in the book.

What do you want people if you had one thing for people to take away from this book? What's the most important thing for you? I think the most important thing is to be inspired to love yourself more and to not take life seriously. like laugh bitch it's it's not that deep love that okay a little bit of pop culture before we love okay what do you think of the whole ariana grande thing is any of this true oh my god don't be one of those is i mean listen okay so if it is true we'll talk about what would you think it's p r for wicked i don't know no like so like i will say that this sponge bob boy is not out of the realm of like boys that she would date like she doesn't have

great track record. Let's be honest. For everyone being like, mediocre, that looks mediocre and for her being like hot. I don't, it's so weird when you get into, because we're so trained already to not judge people how they look, right? And then all of a sudden, Ariana Grande dates like this rando and we're all like, but he's, you know, and then we start being kind of mean. Like, and it's like, wait, we haven't been kind of discussing people's looks for a while. And now we're kind of back at it being like, how is she dating SpongeBob? But like, okay, but here's a thing. Like, yes, we shouldn't be judging people like, but it's like straight men and like we can

dog on straight men for a little bit. That's okay. We're fine. Okay, they're fine. I love that. They've been judging women for quite some time. Like, let's dish it back out. I accept.

You know, like. So you're right. I'm tired of seeing busted ass men with hot girls. I'm tired of it. Ladies. Stop. Stop settling. You said something very true.

Ariana has a pattern. Has a pattern of choosing. Mediocre men. Yeah, also, someone you wouldn't think she would date. Like Pete Davidson, even though he's, she was a Pete Davidson pioneer. She probably, yeah, she was the first of many. She was the first of many. People thought it was weird then.

She was defending. Remember, she defended his eyes. Yeah, he's kind of like, but you know what? Like, I will say this about Pete Davidson. He's ugly, but like ugly hot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he's hot. I get it.

Yeah, he's hot. Yeah, it's not like SpongeBob. It's not the same situation. But like whatever. What I said, you guys was when his wife. Lily J sent him off her friends are probably like oh my god aren't you nervous like he's gonna be with Ariana and she's probably like no she's married and also no I married him for a reason to not be nervous but we don't know if any of this is true but we're just saying if it is true if it is true no how

about I tell you this Cody I'm a pop culture queen it's true okay okay because I know it okay so it's true okay and you think it's wild I think it's wild I also just like I want to be like kind to Ariana but at the same time I'm like, baby, when you got married after meeting some guy like six months in, like, we knew that wasn't going to last. No, you didn't see babies from Dalton. No, I'm just like, it's kind of like when your friends make dumb decisions and you, like, no, it's not going to work.

You just got to let your friends do dumb shit. You just got to be like, hey, girl, okay, I think this is a horrible idea, but here you go. And she kind of has a little bit of a pattern with that. Yeah, she has a pattern. Marrying the real estate agent after six months of knowing him and now, like, sleeping with your co-star directly after a breakup. Hey, was it even, is it not directly after a breakup? No. No. Okay. All right. Well, it's during. It's during. Oh.

It's like a whole cheating thing. Oh my God. Okay. Well, that's cute. Okay. Harry Styles. Okay. What about him? Like, do you feel him hard? No. Really? Tell me. There's not, I'm not anti Harry Styles. He's just like not on my radar. Really? I don't get it. Like, he's not hot to me. I'm not saying he's not hot He's just not hot to me Yeah So I'm

He does nothing for me Not at all And How do you feel about him Like with the flag Like do you Some people Yeah

Oh like is he gay baiting Yeah I don't really care about that Like I think I don't think he's gay baiting And like more straight men Or I don't know Is he straight?

That's what people don't know But the thing is with me He's straight But he's probably sucked a dick Yeah No Yeah And that's fine

And I think there's tons of straight men that have sucked a dick. No, but you know what bothers me, though? And that's okay. Like, I love that he's an ally. I think that's so important. But I think, like, we know of all the famous women you've dated. So give us one. That is true.

That's what, well, does he talk publicly about the famous women that he dates either? No. Okay. Okay. So that's fair. You are, I get your vibe, Cody. I get your vibe when it comes up culture, you ear on, like, the side of, like, what we're shown. Yeah.

I don't like to make. But you're not inspiring. Or like if I'm going to talk about a conspiracy, then I'm going to say like, hey, I'm talking about this in a conspiracy kind of way. So don't take what I say with a grain of salt. This is not fact. This is just what I've heard on the internet. If he's seen with Olivia Wilde and he's seen with Emrata and he was seen with Kendall

and he was seen with all these people. But he was never somehow seen. Do you get what I mean? Sometimes celebrities are seen. Well, maybe he's, maybe he hasn't had a romantic connection with a man. Oh, but he has had sex. But, like, you know, has been in a steam room and, like, you know, had a little fun. I love that.

That's true. Okay. But funny, like, interesting to know that he's not your people that. He doesn't do anything for me. Musically, looks wise. Yeah, I mean, music. The girls that love him, love him. It's not for me.

We all agree. Like, it's not where it's at. It was not deserving of the album of the year. Renaissance Beyonce was once again. Oh, okay. So that's almost our next question. What do you watch? I've been watching a lot of, I know this is weird, but like,

like Project Runway. You have? And drag race. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I love like a competition show like that. I love drag race.

I used to watch Project Runway. I know. I stopped for a long time and then all of a sudden I picked it back up. Yeah. Oh, okay. But Bravo, not really. No really. I used to love like Housewives of Atlanta, but like that's, I haven't watched it.

You gave up. Gave up. Watch the new New York. Okay. We will. It just started. With Jenna lions and her new teeth. Yeah.

I love it. Yeah. So I'm saying. I feel like you could get into it because it just. started. Okay. Last question, Taylor Swift or Beyonce? Wow, you didn't do your research.

Wait, I know. I know that you're a big Beyonce van. Beyonce. Everyone tries to get me with Taylor Swift. How many times you go to Renaissance? Twice. I just went on Saturday. And I went in Paris.

Oh, my God. It is the most incredible concert that you will ever see in your life. It is curated so well. It is performed so well. Like, it is, it's like seeing a historical moment. I'm not, I'm not exaggerating. I just, it's so good. Do you dance to Beyonce?

Of course, she doesn't. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And the parts of the tour that I did know. Oh, you didn't. Oh, you know. Well, we did, we did do a Beyonce dance cardio class at Peloton with Beyonce's like choreographer and her dancers.

Oh, cool. Ashley and Hannah. And so we, we did like formation. We did diva. So like I remembered some of the choreography and it's the real choreography. Oh, my God. I love that. Yeah.

So it was fun. like Britney's choreography. Of course, same. Yeah, I love it. Same. Okay, well, Cody, thank you for coming on. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited for your book to come out. Yes, please, anybody listening? Pre-order, you know, pre-order. Give your girl a listen or a read, and I'd appreciate it. Yay.

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts. a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoo too much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.