Not Skinny But Not Fat - JAY SHETTY: FROM THE MONASTERY TO HOLLYWOOD

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Today, the author, podcast host, and former monk Jay Shetty tells me all about what made him join a monastery for 3 years, how he turned one shot from HuffPost into a career, Zoom sessions with Joe Jonas, and officiating the weddings of Bennifer, Vanessa Hudgens, & Lily Collins.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. How do I ask my boss for a raise? I'm so jealous of my co-workers' promotion. I just don't know what to do. Is there a good way to brag about my accomplishments? Careers are complicated, and there are so many hush, hush topics we're told we can't talk about. That's why you have the Career Contessa podcast. I'm your host, Laura McGoodwin, and each week I'm joined by experts to help you overcome your

workplace woes with actionable advice that you. you can use today. Subscribe to the Career Contessa podcast and make progress in your career every Tuesday. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from not skinny but on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday. and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best friends

in your living room. You guys, I'm so excited. Jay Shetty is here. You guys all know him. He's a New York Times bestselling author. He's a podcast host of On Purpose. Your chief purpose officer at com.

I want a title like that. And, former monk. Yes. Amanda, thank you so much for having me. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I love bumping into your events. I know. I was so grateful you came to my show last year. I did come. I brought my mom. You know, when you have a plus one, you're like, who is going to come? And you have to find like the most fitting person, the most deserving person for that event. And I was like, my mom, you know, it was such a, such a lovely experience. Well, I hope my mom doesn't see this because now she's going to be like, why have I not been a plus one to an event?

You're not taking her to stuff? No, no, I have. I have. I've taken her to award shows and things like that. And she loves it. But sometimes I'm like, I don't want to waste her time. Yeah. I don't want it to be a crazy night.

But I realize she loves it now. Does she get the life? I don't think she does fully. She doesn't fully. She's, you know, it's so far away from her. And I often think about this for my friends back in London too. I don't often get to use some of the access or perks that I get over here for them. So they don't always get to see it.

But last year, it was my best friend's 40th birth. day. And he was my best man at my wedding. He's been my longest friend. And so I took him to see a football match, soccer match at Manchester, in Manchester, which is our team. And it was the best time I'd ever had because I took my friends from London. We got to, you know, I got to spoil them at this amazing facility and venue and meet the ex-manager who's a legend and an icon. And so it was one of the best experiences in my life. So I think sharing, why don't, why don't you get the same perks there? Well, no, no, no. I mean, like, I don't, I live in L.A. So my friends aren't always over.

So I don't get to do cool stuff with them in L.A. all the time. I don't get to take them to stuff. So when I'm back in England, I have to really make a deal out of it. But do you feel like you're bigger here in the States? No, no, no. I meant it more in the sense of like, because I live here and I'm always doing stuff here, I don't get the opportunity to like say, hey, do you want to come along to this? Because my friend's like a 10-hour flight away and, you know, has to jump on a plane.

I mean, yeah, do your friends get the life that you're living, though? like the celebrity do they care about that stuff? Well they pull my leg yeah yeah they give me a hard time oh they do yeah in a fun way I think I get it I think it's good the British banter keeps you humble and keeps you grounded oh that is true the band right because it's different for me my friends are all like obsessed and know that I've been like into this my whole life but for you you've had such a big transition in your life yes absolutely did you ever think you'd be doing what you're doing now. Do you know what? I think about it often. I don't even know if I know anything about what I thought I'd be doing. I'm like, I have to pinch myself all the time. My mind is blown every single day.

Yeah, like you couldn't have predicted this. I couldn't have predicted this. And I feel so grateful for it because so much of it has come organically. So much of it has come because of the kindness and graciousness of so much of our communities that support us. So much of it has come from me trying to do something that I was hoping would just help one person. And now it's transformed in. to something that is hopefully helped and supported lots of people. So it's beyond me and I failed at lots of things in my life and this is something I'm doing well at. So I'm very grateful. Well, but let's talk about becoming a monk because that's a big deal.

It'll be like 80. So I'm going to talk about those three years. I'm happy to talk about it. So you went to business school. You were like into that kind of life. Well, I just thought, I've always talked about this. So when you're born into an Indian family, especially in England, I'm sure it could be true of the experience here as well, your parents want you to do.

well at school. Like doing well at school is the number one priority. And if you're considered smart as an Indian kid, you should end up doing medicine or engineering. If you're not doing medicine and engineering, basically everything else is second tier. I was not doing medicine and engineering, not because I wasn't academic, but that stuff just didn't, I didn't gravitate towards it. And so I was settling to do business. And if I'm completely honest at the time, I probably wanted to get into art direction or art and design were fascinations and passions of mine, but I was doing the safe option of, I'll go to a place called Cass Business School, I'll study management science, I'll focus on a few of the things I like and love, but at least this will get me a safe job.

And so I was on the path to get a safe, good, reliable job to not let my parents down completely. And this is in India at the time. This is in London. In London. Yeah, born and raised. So you're born and raised in London. And your parents are... Both of them are Indian originally, but my mother was born and raised in Yemen and moved to London when she was 16 years old.

And so she speaks fluent Arabic and grew up with Yemeni culture. Oh, wow. And my father's from southern India and moved to London when he married my mom. Oh, okay. So you only went back to India. Yeah, I would visit as a kid. Like I went when I was nine years old, probably the first time. And then when I was 14.

And so we'd go now and again to India. But I'd never lived in India until I became a month. but you're saying still you describe like growing up it wasn't like oh i was just living in london you were an indian living in london like that's a different yeah in the sense of different life yeah i feel like having indian parents let's put it that way like you know your parents have certain expectations that maybe all your friends don't have expectations right and so yeah parents are like doing good at school yeah not allowed girlfriends do well at school not allowed girlfriends not allowed girlfriends you know so i had girlfriends and i never told my parents i just couldn't

talk about it. You can't share it. Until when? Ever. Until now. My parents are finding out right now. Like until you're serious about marriage or something? Literally. It's the strangest thing. For boys, women, women, women get it way harder, like, than the guys. Because for women, it's like, you're not allowed to talk to guys. And then it's like, well, why are you not married now? Why does not want to marry you? And so, like, you know, a woman gets into their 20s and then her mom's like, well, why I know boys interested in you? And you know, mom, you told me not to talk to guys. for like my old child. But did you get girls? Like were you... I was dating. You were dating. Yeah, I was dating. Just my mom didn't know. Okay. So you were in, you were in college and did throughout it, were you like,

what am I doing? This is not my purpose or was it only when you were done? No, it wasn't, it wasn't that at all. I think I actually was having an amazing life. Like things were great. I was working hard at school. I was doing well. I always believed if I could get good grades and still have fun and that was the balance I wanted in life. And I actually wasn't spiritual. inclined whatsoever. And the only thing I was fascinated by was people's stories. And so I would read autobiographies and biographies across my whole teenage years. So I was reading everything like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X all the way through to David Beckham and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. So I was fascinated and always have been. And which is why I think the podcast today is so true

to me because I've always wanted to study people's lives. And so back in my teens, I didn't know that that could be a podcast. But I was studying the lives of people that I admired. And I would read about their sacrifices and the decisions they'd made and how they made choices. And so I loved hearing about people's journeys. And so once I was invited to hear a monk speak and my university with different societies and different clubs would have athletes and entrepreneurs and CEOs and different people invited to speak. And my friends had got into spirituality. And so they said to me, Jay, why don't you come and hear this monk speak? So actually, before that point, I hadn't really been inclined towards I mean I didn't even know what monks really were yeah and so I was coming at

it from a point of view of like well I hope this is not a waste of my time because I'm inspired by people who went from nothing to something yeah not nothing to nothing and what's this monk gonna you're like where's David Becker yeah exactly yeah oh yeah still till this day where's David Beckham I love David Beckham yeah I know you should get him on the pod I've been I've been working on it I've been waiting on it I'm ready David you have some angles I mean you're both British yes yes we're both both have good hair I hope both have no yeah I love David Beck I've been a big fan since I was a team you know what's so wild is when you give birth the hospital just lets you leave with the baby it's truly mind-boggling you're like me with this like you think I know what to do

and then you see the nurses like swaddling that baby with that like towel looking blanket thing and you're like no no and honestly you guys when it was born I watched a lot of tutorials and I didn't get it and you know what that's okay you're not a bad mom if you don't know how to swaddle like a what are they called labor and delivery nurses okay that's why swattles are made now for dummies okay dreamland baby has amazing swattles they're sponsoring the podcast love them for this they have a weighted swaddle which is one of their most popular products and don't worry you're not going to have to like flip and flop and roll and tuck because it has velcro it closes we're good okay we don't need to learn how to swaddle like professionals. A weighted swaddle is super helpful because as people know that

have had a baby, babies are difficult when it comes to sleep. And sometimes you have to keep your hand on them and you're going to fall asleep, standing up with your hand on them. Guess what a weighted swaddle does. It makes them think that there's weight on them that's coming maybe from your body. But it's not. It's coming from the Dreamland baby weighted swaddle. I highly recommend it. And you guys can save 20% off right now. Go to Dreamlandbabyco.com.com. enter my code not skinny at checkout. You're going to get 20% off and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. Dreamlandbabyco.com. The code not skinny. If you guys don't have a thrive market membership, like listen to this because you really do need it. We are subscribed

to so many streamers and so many things in our lives that we're like, oh, I'm subscribed to Showtime, HBOMAT, like all the things. Don't cheap out when it comes to your food. Your food is the most important thing in your life because it's feeding your body. You know what I mean? Just be good to it, okay? Feed it good things. Thrive Market carries brands with the highest quality ingredients. And what I love the most about Thrive Market is like, as you guys know, I've had a lot of stomach issues over the past couple of years, have tried different diets. And literally when you go on Thrive Market, you can filter out by diet, but not only the big ones, not only like vegan or vegetarian, you can filter out by paleo, keto, even low FodMap, which was super helpful for me when I was trying the

low FodMap. I bought so many specialty items too that literally are for people that are trying to eat low FodMap. It's just wild how specific they get. They also have great deals. You can bundle and save, buy more and save. They really have amazing deals and I save on every order. And it's just really great for those specialty items for your home. So join in on the savings with Thrive Market today. And you can get 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. So just go to Thrivemarket.com slash not skinny for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's Thrive, T-H-R-I-V-E Market.com slash not skinny. Thrivemarket.com slash not skinny. Okay, so you see the monk, no inclination before, but after.

I went to this event and, I don't know if you've ever had an experience like this, but you go to something where you were expecting nothing and you predicted it would be a waste of time. But then you hear someone and you see them and you experience their presence and you think, wait a minute, why haven't I been following this person my whole life? Wow. And it sounds cheesy, but it was true. Like I went there looking for nothing and walked out feeling like I'd found new meaning in life. And it was because this man who had an Indian accent was dressed in robes, was from India, was speaking about things in a way I'd never heard them before. I'd heard about people talk about becoming successful.

I'd heard about people talk about doing well for yourself. But I'd never heard someone say that the greatest gift in the world is to use your gifts in the service of others. And when I heard that, I thought, wow, that's interesting. I'd never heard that before. And even more than that, I think it wasn't even what he said. It was how he was showing up. Like, he was in London feeling totally comfortable, dressed, completely alien-like.

And he didn't have any sense of anxiety or nervousness or confusion in how he held himself. And I think when I've looked back, I've always reflected that I think at 18 I'd met or heard about people that were rich and famous and beautiful and strong and powerful. But I don't think I'd met anyone who was truly happy and content. And I think when I was in his space, I felt this person's happy. And I was like, I want that. And that's what I felt. I was like, I want that. That feels like worth pursuing.

That feels like worth getting in life. And so how long after that? So I spent every summer and Christmas vacation traveling to see him. So I would go and spend a month, a couple of weeks, whatever I had. So you connected there, like after the- I went and spoke to him straight after the event. And I said, you're amazing. How do I learn from you?

Almost like networked with a monk. And I always describe it as simply as that. Like, it was just, it's like anyone going to an event today and going, wow, the speaker really had an impact on me, let me go and introduce myself. And so I did that and he said, well, why don't you come follow me around at all these events in London? So that week I followed him around. We got to know each other and he said, well, why don't you come see me in India? And so I just started spending any spare time I had wanting to learn from him. And so I'd learn how to meditate with him. He taught me about ancient philosophy. He would teach me the practices. Wow. And so when I

graduated, I was so attracted and addicted to the life that he'd introduced me to that I couldn't imagine living any other life. And so I decided to trade in my suits for robes and become an actual monk myself and live as a monk myself. What's this man's name? His name's Gaurangadas. I still know him. I was just with him in India. Oh, really? Yes. And we've stayed in touch and I see him all the time. I still visit the monastery I lived at pretty much every year, apart from the pandemic. What do they think of everything going on? On one end, they don't care at all, which is beautiful. And on the other end, they're so supportive and encouraging and just so happy to see me happy. And they always remind me of what really matters in life.

And at the same time, give me space to express myself. So, yeah, it's a really beautiful relationship. It's so wild, Jay. Yeah, it is wild. Have you been like that always, like a person that leans in? Like, I consider myself quite an extremist. Yeah, I'm like that. Like, if I get into something, I get into it.

Like, right now I'm into pickleball and I'm into pickleball. Are you a little late on that? I feel like that, I mean. I was late, but not when you see me play. So you're saying you got good. I got good. You got good. So right now I've got like the pickleball gear.

I've got the fancy, what's it. I don't know what it's called. That's terrible. The paddle, the pickle. The pickle ball paddle? The pickle ball paddle? The racket, what it's called? Like I, yeah.

So when I get into something, I really lean in. Wow. When I got into cold plunging a few years ago, like I was just doing cold plunges. Okay, that you were starting it. Yeah. You started that on time. Yes, yes, yes. So that.

Wait, do you post yourself cold pledging? I don't post myself cold plunging. Good. So you won't be offended. Is that an ick for you? And I mean, it's like, yeah, it's like a meme. Like, are you cold plunging if you're not posting? They're cold plunging and like, who really cares?

Yeah, fair enough. To see you cold plunge every day. I don't know. I don't post. I wouldn't know. You don't post. I don't post. I'm good. Me and my wife go together.

So it's a fun couples. Yeah. Do you do it every day? No, no, no, no. Oh, no. When you were really into it, we were doing it three or four times a week. Uh-huh. Recently, I've been bad.

I have not been doing it. It's such an L.A. thing now. It is. It is, right. Yeah. friends now. They're like, yeah, Jay. I'm telling you, I have some British in me. Yeah. Do you have a culplunge at home? No, no, no. Oh, damn. Okay. So you have an advance to the next. Yeah, yeah. I'm not at that level yet. And I'm not, I'm not brave enough to jump into a barrel

filled with cold water. Yeah, it's not as, it's also not as she. But I'm an extremist. When I get into something. When you get in. So you leaned in, what did your family think they think you were crazy? Yes, absolutely. Like, all of my family was like, you're going to waste your education. You're wasting your parents' investment in yourself. You know, you're letting your family down. A lot of people were like, well, no one's ever going to marry you. Like, how are you going to make money? What if this doesn't work out? There was a lot of anxiety and insecurity. And I love addressing that because I think now people are like, this is a cool part of your story. But then it was not, it was like you have gone mad. Yeah. Like you have gone

insane. Like you've been brainwashed. That was the perspective. People are like, or maybe someone's like, you know, put a hex on you and you've kind of gone in this direction. And to me honest, for me, I was looking at the other option, which was going into the world of work, and thinking, I don't want to do that. Like, that feels really meaningless for me at the time. I mean, yeah, what you just said is so important. Like, now it's such a cool part of your story. But, like, think about your kid coming home, shaving off his beautiful hair, you know, putting on that robe and being like, goodbye. Yeah. You would freak out. Freak out. Yeah. And my extended family was like, this is the worst decision. And even my friends, like, I had a lot of guy friends come up to me, like,

well dude does that mean we can't talk to you about women anymore we can't you know like what can we talk about and then people coming up to me and some of my friends I mean this is how ignorant society was then like some people came up to me like are you gay like have you been closed and I was like what like how is that even but that's how ignorant people this is 2010 you know when the decision would have made and so it was so fascinating to me as to the kind of negativity that it drew and so I kind of did it despite all of that no one was saying jay this could be the best right decision of your life this is going to lead to you don't even even know what. Yeah, yeah, no one was saying that. No one was saying that. And you still did it.

I did it because I've, from that decision, I got so much confidence because I learned what it felt like to do things against the grain. I learned what it felt like to do things that felt right internally, even if it made no sense to anyone. And I think I learned to trust that intuition and that inner voice. Have you ever had it before? Was this kind of the first time? I think I've had it since I was 14. Yeah. That's when I first started really hearing it. And I think, I think, for a lot of us, we've been trained to ignore ourselves. I think a lot of us have ignored our inner voice, our inner guidance, our intuition for so many years. And I think for me, 14 is when I started listening to it. And that point at 21 when I made that decision, I think that gave me a lot of

strength and courage to always listen to it. And so I, even till this day, I'm always trying to listen to it because I feel it can't lead me wrong. So did you have to give up your phone and talking to friends and everything? Yeah, absolutely. I didn't. You had to switch off. Like all your possessions fit into a gym locker to everything you own you get two sets of robes you wear one you wash one uh you get a little mat that you sleep on with a sheet and then sometimes in india you need a mosquito net to keep the mosquitoes out so you don't get eaten while you're sleeping and you don't have a place that you're that's yours so there's no bedroom you sleep in a communal room where everyone just lays their mat down and only men and only men for that monastery yes absolutely on the summer mixed

no not mixed but there are female monks as well you didn't see females for also like when we would be out on the streets doing philanthropic work or charity work or things like that you would in the villages see women of course but you weren't interacting with women on a daily basis did you do any traveling with the outfit and everything at that time like the dude yeah so we went to we did a trip to scandinavia where we were traveling and backpacking and teaching meditation we were I went to the UK and still spent a lot of time back where I'd grown up so what happened when like your family and friends first saw you in the room oh my gosh like my remember my granddad at the time was mortified that I'd shaved my head and he sat me down and he gave me a whole lecture about how I should never do that because hair was seen as a sign of wealth in tradition and seen as a sign of prosperity and getting rid of it like gave me a full traditional introduction into hair which I had no idea. What's the reason behind the hair shaving just not to have anything? It's it's well first of all the best thing is you don't have to do your hair in the morning so there's no basically I mean and I'll give a deeper the deeper more thoughtful reason is

you lose sight of your physical self. So you're trying to dissolve this understanding of yourself and your identification with the body so that you can recognize that there's so much more to you internally. There's no mirrors in the monastery. And so you don't look in a mirror. So I would only look at my reflection when I'd be out and about and you're looking into a reflective surface

to see what you look like. Did you ever had the outside moment looking in? Like, wait, what am I doing? I mean, definitely had it not when I was looking at my reflection, but I definitely had that when things, were like hard and difficult and challenging and you'd be like, why am I doing this to myself? Right. Life could have been so much more comfortable.

I remember there was this one moment where we had been traveling across South India. And so we were staying in this kind of warehouse and we didn't have showering facilities, but we'd been told that there were communal showers that were whatever, like 100 feet away or, you know, a distance away. And I'd woken up in the morning. Everyone had woken up before me. So I was already guilt-tripping myself that I'd woken up late as a month. and then I found out that the showers are far away

but I walked outside and it was pouring down with rain like bucketing down and so I run to where I've been told the showers are my feet are getting muddy I'm running in the mud getting to the showers I get to the showers and then open the door and realize they don't have any roofs either like they're open air I'm basically in the rain I'm in the rain anyway I should have just stayed where I was and showered and so I'm sitting

and they're going why am I doing this to myself but I think it really created a sense of resilience and adaptiveness that I don't think I would have had if I didn't because I went into it saying to myself, I am going to do whatever I'm asked to do and see how it impacts me. And I think being that adaptable and flexible

is a massive strength I see today because I think I would never choose to do that to myself. So when you have to do it, your mind becomes more malleable and now you recognize that you're better adapting to things that don't go your way. Do a lot of people come and go from the monestown

Or was your situation unique? Most of the people that I joined with over there are still there. There are a few people who do leave. It's not taboo to leave. Did you know you were going to leave after a certain amount of time? Honestly, if I'm completely honest, I did it thinking I was going to do it for the rest of my life.

Stop. Yes. I had come to a point of material exhaustion at the time where I thought to myself, you know, I don't want to be in relationships anymore. I want to dedicate my life to mind control and service. I want to spend my time figuring out how purify my heart. And I think I'll be able to achieve all of that if I'm here. And I lasted three

years. So what was the breaking point? You know, the whole point of monk training is to learn about yourself. And that's the goal of it to really gain a deep sense of self-awareness. And sadly, my self-awareness led me to realize I'm not a monk. Oh yeah. I'm very rebellious. I'm independent. I have certain things that I like a certain way. Monk life is about dissolving all of that. So I don't have the purity to live as a monk for the rest of my life. But there was so much I gained that is so practical to live in the real world. And so it was very humbling. It was very, very humbling to realize after three years that my dream was never going to be fulfilled because it wasn't my path.

Right. Were they upset with you? I was upset with myself. Well, you felt like a failure. And I projected that they might be upset on me because they'd invested so much into me. they'd taught me so much and I was sitting there going I felt like I'd failed I felt ashamed I felt embarrassed and now I was thinking and this is what's happened when I went back to London everyone was saying well we told you so oh we knew you would have made it

you know now everyone's moved on oh look at your friend they just got promoted yeah look at your other friend they just got engaged look at look at where everyone's doing so well but look at where you are and so I felt so behind me now I felt so stuck in behind Oh, wow. When you came back from being a monk. Yeah, I was giving myself a harder time than probably anyone else than giving me, as we do. But your family was probably so happy to see you. My mom is the sweetest person in the entire world, and she was just happy to have a son back and take care of me and all the rest of it. And now when you see monks here in the street, are you like, you know?

I'm like, you're like, hey. I'm like, yeah, please don't judge me. Do you still own that part of you? I think you have to. I mean, I am so grateful that I had that experience. Like I said, I still go back every year to stay with the monks. I find it to be so grounding for me in the world that we both operate in. I find that to be my grounding, my anchor, my roots.

It gives me such a great sense of foundation and purpose that I don't want to lose ever. At the same time, I'm accepting it's a part of my journey. It's not who I am anymore. And so I'm allowing myself to be who I am today and giving myself permission to be who I am today. And I think that's the beauty of, I think what we all trying to do is we grow older, where we accept that we have lots more to ourselves than one thing. Right. I think our identities were quite singular when we were growing up.

It's like we wanted to be seen one way. And now I'm like, well, no, it's a part of me, but it's not all of me. Do you think you influence people to do that? Yeah. People have said that to me. A lot of people have come up to me and said, Jay, I want to be a monk. What do I do?

And the first thing I always say is as long as monk life is not an escape from reality. So becoming a monk is not about saying, I don't like the world and therefore I want to run away. It's more like saying, I think there's something for me to gain there. So that's step one. Step two is being ready to accept how intense it's going to be and being okay with that. It isn't yoga mats and people meditating and having blissful experiences. It's hard work.

It's challenging. It's internally grueling too. You're looking at the dust within and you're looking at the deepest reflection of yourself which can expose so many challenging things about yourself. And then I always say to people, hey, yeah, here's the. address. Here is where you go if you want to go. That's wild. Yeah. Okay. So you get that. Would you want to do it, Amanda? Should we go one day? I can't even meditate. I'm sure you can meditate. Okay, maybe I can. Yeah. Well, I sound like one of

those people who says, everyone gets sick. Yeah. Yeah. I tried. I was in college. I was being silly. I maybe, I maybe could. That's when you tried when you're in college. Yeah. Oh, wow. How did it go? It didn't go, well. I was giggling. I was giggling. That's beautiful. That's amazing. That you giggled during meditation. I giggled through my meditation. That's amazing. I love that. Yeah. I think I could. Yeah. Do you meditate often? Yeah, every day. Every day. How long? Usually about one and a half hours. One and a half hours. Yeah. So sitting. Mine is sitting. Doesn't have to be forever. Mine is sitting. We have a little meditation space in our home. I mean, my wife meditating. Together. She's a better meditated than me. So she starts earlier and finishes earlier because she

wakes up earlier than I do. So is it first thing in the morning? Yeah. So she's up at like 5 a.m. every day. And by the time I walk in at like 6.15, she's, you know, on her way to finishing. And so I'm walking in there feeling guilty again. Do you put any like music on? Yeah, my wife will put on some beautiful like flute music or nature sounds. And sometimes we'll have a crossover time where we are meditating together. But hey, sometimes I'm traveling like I am right now. I'm meditating in a dark New York hotel room. So you do it even when you're traveling and everything. I do it even when I'm traveling as well. And I'll have, you know, maybe I'll split it up like 45 minutes in the morning, 45 minutes in the evening, maybe I'll split it up into little blocks of 15 minutes. Like, I have to be completely

adaptive now because I don't always have a one and a half hour block to do it in. So now it takes many different forms. Did your wife learn this from you? Or was she into it before? She got into it after me. She didn't learn it directly from me. But yes, she learned it from the tradition. I've shared, I've taken her. We go to the monastery together. Oh, really? Yeah. And so she's taken, you know, part in it. Like I said, that actually sounds nice. It's beautiful. She's a better meditated than me so what you get more antsy what does that mean like when someone's better at it she's just natural i'm the guy who had to work hard at all this stuff and she's someone who's just naturally naturally yeah i mean you give naturally like you give the vibe that it does come naturally well

hopefully that's proof that it can work on anyone so honestly cannot believe my skims fits everybody songs are still fitting me pregnant right now hence fits everybody is literally not a lie. Skims don't lie, you guys, okay? They don't lie about anything. They don't lie about their sweatpants being the best sweatpants I've ever bought in my life, honestly. Like, I can't believe it's been so hard for me to get dressed pregnant and like the two pairs of joggers that I have from skims have been life-saving. I've been wearing them like they are tattooed on my body. Okay. Also, they have amazing bras. I haven't found an underwire bra. I loved in years and my boobs need more support now than ever because guess what they've tripled

in freaking size so if you want an underwire bra that's actually comfortable skims you guys okay they have amazing amazing things their fits everybody collection is amazing their t-shirt bra from the fits everybody collection is amazing wear it under a t-shirt your boobs are going to look natural and amazing and I wear it every day and I need it in every color. Shraps are adjustable and also their sizes. They range in wide sizes. So from 38 to 46H in their bras. Honestly, you guys, some of my favorites are the t-shirt bra like I said, the no-show online demi bra and the wireless form t-shirt bra. And if you haven't yet, you can get free shipping on orders over $75. Everything's available at skims.com. Let them know.

I sent you and get me some street cred with Kim. After you place your order, select podcasts in the survey and my show in the drop-down menu. What do I always say to you guys? You're like, Amanda, where do I get all the things that I need for the thing that I need? Macy's. Like literally one-stop shop. That's where you can get it all. Whatever holidays coming up, whatever sporting events coming up, whatever like bash you're

throwing, you can get it all in one place. So Valentine's Day is coming up, you guys. It's on Wednesday. tomorrow if you're listening to this podcast on Tuesday like you're supposed to when it first comes out anyway. I'm not mad if you listen to it later. Okay. Get it. You have things to do. But if you do have a partner and you want to be cute and you want to surprise them for Valentine's Day, Macy's is making it so easy with their gift finder that I've told you already about. It makes it really easy to shop for your loved one or shop for you. Show for you. Valentine's gift for you.

So Macy's.com slash gift finder. Also you can get 25% to 40% off underwear and lingerie from Calvin Klein, Gap, and more top brands. Everything I mentioned and more is on macy's.com slash gift finder. Also, if you use the gift finder before, you know that you can really filter it out by like type of gift, the amount of money you want to spend. So don't forget macy's dot com slash gift finder Valentine's Day is this week, you guys. So hit it up. Again, There is 25 to 40% off underwear and lingerie and a lot of other goodies on Macy's. As always, one-stop shop for everything. Macy's.com slash gift finder.

Macy's.com slash gift finder. Poppy, poppy, poppy chulo. You guys, listen, soda has become a dirty word for ordering a soda. Nowadays, people look at you like, you're crazy. Like, oh my God, you're so unhealthy. And guess what? Soda doesn't have to be unhealthy. Poppy isn't unhealthy. Poppy has clean ingredients. It has five grams of sugar or less. It has 25 calories or less per can. Okay. Not those cans that you're like, oh, and then it's like per sip. This is per can. Okay. So you could feel really good about sipping it after your workout with your salad, over ice to enjoy a dinner, make it fancy, whatever. There's no.

wrong way to drink poppy. It has fruit juice in it, sparkling water, and prebiotic. So it's like helping your gut also? That's really nice. It's actually reinventing what soda is. They have amazing flavors like strawberry lemon, cherry limeade, orange, grape. And they also have our classic soda shop flavors that we all grew up with like cola, doc pop, and root beer for you weirdos that like root beer. Seriously, though, they're done. dog pop flavor days just like Dr. Pepper. Say hello to soda's new era, you guys. The future of soda is now, and it's called Poppy.

Shop Poppy, that's spelled P-O-P-P-I, for 15% off on Amazon with code not skinny. So making it super easy for you guys on Amazon, shop Poppy, get 15% off. The code is not skinny. You can also find it in retailers nationwide. So you get back to London. You get a real job, though. Well, not straight away. So I get back to London and I'm struggling because I moved back into my parents home because I don't have any money and can't pay any rent. And I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. Yeah. And I'm really scared and I'm really insecure about going back to the workplace and I was really worried about how do I explain what I've done and how does it go on my resume and how does anyone going to relate to that? And I'd say the first month I just kind of spent in depression where I was just going back to eating chocolate, which I missed and I love. So big slab of catberries dairy milk and then started listening to drake again and and then

started watching how i met your mother and no stop like it was just i was just going back to all my bad habits i mean great show you consider them bad good habits okay Drake how i met your mother and no i want to know for real is that bad no in the sense of like when you've just come from the monastery and you haven't done anything of that yeah yeah but hey do i love eating chocolate it's a good habit. I love listening to Drake. It's a good habit. And how I met your mother is a great show. So all good habits. But it was interesting because I kind of stopped doing everything I'd done. Right. And then I was like, wait a minute. Like I don't need to sit in this discomfort. I have the tools to get me out of it. So I started applying for jobs. But kind of what we were saying earlier, I got rejected

by 40 companies before even an interview because surprise, surprise, no one wants someone who's been a monk on their resume. It's like, what are your transferable skills sitting still and being silent? That doesn't benefit our organization. And then finally, I've got a breakthrough and this big consulting firm called Accentia gave me a job, which I'm so grateful and thankful for because it meant I could start earning something and start getting out of my parents' apartment. I'm in home. Did you like it? I wouldn't say I liked it, but I would say it was a great reintroduction into the real world.

So, like, they do this networking event when you join, and the networking event was pizza making. and it was pizza making and drinks right it was like one of these corporate networking things I was like what am I going to talk about while pizza making like I was like what do I do yeah because I was like what do I talk about like I hadn't done small talk right for three years and so you don't small talk with the monks you don't really small talk like you're not like how's the weekend yeah you know same oh that's like it's just not the conversation you basically only talk about like philosophical ideas or day to day chores or meaningful things like you're not So were you the weird guy at the beginning?

I felt like that. But, you know, I found another weird guy and then had a chat. And, you know, thankfully I found some really good friends at the company. I, what I liked about the company is they were really focusing on mental health at the time as well. And that was where I got to share my meditation practices. And so actually the first places in the real world that I started sharing what I'd learned as a monk was at Accentia. So I would do these mini sessions with groups of whoever wanted to learn in my colleagues about mental health. health and mindfulness. And so I would teach two or three people. And then I was invited to do

one of our summer events at the company. So I was invited on stage to teach meditation to nearly a thousand people who are colleagues of mine at the company. And everyone loved it. And that gave me so much confidence that what I'd learned had value and that it had a place in the real world. And that's so I'm very grateful to the company because I don't think I would have had the confidence to do what I do today if I hadn't seen that. Yeah. That it has a place. That it has a place and it has a purpose and it has a use and that people need it. So tell us how you got from that to social media. So I was, at Accentia, I was doing all these sessions

and I was starting to see the impact on people around me. And I was thinking to myself, I can't just do this just for my colleagues. I have to do this beyond. And I was doing a little event in London that I set up on a Friday night where I'd invite anyone that I knew. I'd put up little posters and flyers around town

and maybe if I was lucky 10 to 15 people would come and I'd give sessions on meditation and philosophy and all the stuff I do today. but I was just happy that I was doing it. But I got to a point where I was like, this should reach more people. Obviously, it's helping people, but I would like it to reach more people.

And so I started pitching a video idea to media companies in London. And I was like, I don't care what you pay me. I'll start for free. I just want to make videos if you'd put these out there to help the world understand meditation and mindfulness.

And all of them said to me, Jay, you're too old. To be in media, I was 28 years old. They said you're too late. You know, you should have started a long time ago. Everyone who's starting is 21 years old or 18 or 16. I had people say to me I had no experience and communication. Wait, I have a question.

Did you not know at the time that you could just put it out there? I thought you needed like a bigger... I thought I needed a platform or a media company to give me a moment to have that exposure. Yeah. And so I ended up at a TV. I was told by a lot of people you don't have the skills because you haven't got a communications background or you don't have a qualification. what you want to do. And so I ended up at a TV presenting workshop in London run for ethnic minorities

and people of color. And so I end up in this room probably around this size and there's five or six brown and black people in the room and they're teaching us how to present. And so I went there to see maybe I need to develop some skills. So I went there and at the end of it, they were like, Jay, you've got some really good skills like you could do this. And I was like, okay, give me a job in media. And they were like, there's no jobs in media. And so I was like, all right, thanks for inviting five to six brown and black people in here to tell us there's no jobs in media and they said well you should start a YouTube channel and my reaction was yes that only works for Justin Bieber like that's going to work do you know what's so freaking funny what I have to tell you go on in my notes I literally wrote you started a

YouTube you're like the Justin Bieber of gurus I literally said Justin Bieber because like yeah that's what we think like oh Justin Bieber went on YouTube got discovered by who Was it Usher? Yeah, it was Asher and then, yeah, Scooter Braun. So that's what you think of it. Okay, so you had the same thought. You were like, yeah, let me just do that. Well, no, I ended up in a position where I didn't have any other options.

Like, I'd been rejected by 10 media companies. Three media execs told me I was too old, underqualified or too late. And so I ended up in a position where if I didn't go to YouTube, I didn't have a shot left. So it was the last shot or the last opportunity. And because I cared about what I was doing, I turned to social media. So I never actually came to social media thinking that this was going to be the Holy Grail. I came to it because I didn't know any other way to share my message. Yeah.

So that's how I started. So you started the YouTube channel. I saw a YouTube channel. Before Instagram. Before everything. YouTube was the first platform that I started on. And it was eight years ago in January that I uploaded my first ever video. Did you get, was your first video like amateur?

Did you do it or did you hire people? So I have a friend who used to shoot weddings or still shoots weddings. things in England, in London. And I reached out to him and I'd said to him, I said, dude, can you come help me out and just shoot me? Because I have no idea how to operate a camera. So he said, sure, I'll do it. So he did me a favor. And then I'd scribbled down some scripts and thoughts and ideas and things that I had. And then I freestiled these four videos that we shot that day. And then I taught myself how to edit because I couldn't pay an editor. I didn't have enough money for that. And so I taught myself how to edit, which took forever. And then I put out my first

ever video. And I was just so excited to put it out there. And it, you know, did like a hundred views or whatever it was. But it was the best moment. I still remember it. I was over the moon. So how did it grow? So I kept doing this every week. And my friends were the people that were like, Jay, this, you know, you talk too fast in the videos or the music's too loud or the B-roll's not edited quite right. I was getting a lot of like, I have to go back and look at the first video. Yeah, go back and look at them. I personally think, I actually prefer them to some of the stuff. I love them.

Yeah. There's some really fun stuff that we were doing. And there was a beauty to them for sure. And I was getting all this feedback from the people closest to me. But there were other people who were commenting on it. There were other people who were reaching out saying, gee, I love what you've started, well done. Like, it wasn't big, but I could feel the energy. And then what happened was my exec, an executive, Accenture, the company that was working for,

she showed it to Ariana Huffington at Davos. And so they were at Davos together. I was not there. And she said, look what one of our employees is doing. And Ariana Huffington saw it. And she loved it. And so she sent two who are now two of my closest friends, Danny Shea and Dan Katz, who are her team to come and meet me in London.

And so they came to meet me in London. And I went to that meeting fully prepared. And I was like, Danny, give me a job. I need a job. I want to do this full time. I'll take anything. This is what I want to do with my life. And he was like, slow down.

He was like, we're going to put your videos out on the Huffington Post page. We're not going to pay you. And we're going to see how it goes. And I said, great, go for it. So they put out the first video. The first video did a million views in seven days. They were like, that's okay. The second video.

To you, that was probably, I mean, that's wild. To me, it changed my life. Right. Like, it was like, this is unbelievable. The video's only got a thousand views. Yeah. And Huff Post at that time, I had like 6 million followers on Facebook. So this was on Facebook.

So they put out the first video. video, it did about a million views. They put out the second video, it did a million views in 24 hours. They put out the third video. It did another million views in like 16 hours. And then those four videos that I'd made that they put out collectively did like 100 to 200 million views across different platforms and channels. And that moment completely transformed my life. And then I begged You went viral before there was, I mean, this is what, 2016. So no, you'd already had the original YouTube era. So you'd had the Tyler Oakley's, you'd had the Lily Sings, you'd had that original YouTube generation of Logan Paul, like 2011, 2012. Probably, I think, was their error. So you'd

had that. But this was almost the rise of Facebook at the time, which hadn't happened. The new, what we know now as social media. Yeah. And so that was 2016. And it was a moment where I then begged and bugged Danny every day saying, Danny, you've got to give me a shot. Like, obviously this must be proof that I should get to do this. And so I sent him an email every single day for 30 days and said, Danny, I'm not going to stop messaging you until you figure out how I can do this. Yeah. And Danny finally offered me a position in New York City working at HuffPost in 2016. Help me get my visa. Help me get my visa. And then I moved over to New York, September 2016. And worked at Huffington Post. I worked at HuffPost for six months. Doing that, doing those kinds of

videos. Yeah. So I did that. And then I had a daily Facebook live show. This when Facebook Live was the thing. I had a daily Facebook live show called Follow the Reader where I would interview authors that I loved. And so I would interview writers. Wow. I loved it. It was one of my favorite things.

I did that for six months. And then we parted away so that I could carry on doing it for myself. But while you were doing this, your personal stuff was probably growing. On hold. Well, my personal stuff was on hold. Oh, it was on hold. Because all my content was made for the platform. So only when you left, you could really focus on that.

Yeah. So 2017 March was when I left. And that's when I started focusing. sing on myself. And you moving to California? No, so I was still in New York at the time, moved to L.A. July 2018. Did you ever have the dream, though, of like L.A. celebrities, limelight, like, or was that just kind of part of this passion?

I didn't even believe it. I mean, I don't think, I don't think that I, I had a fascination with people's stories. So yes, did I, if you see in my early videos, I'm quoting celebrity. that I've now interviewed on the show, which is like this weird 360 moment. I had quotes from, I'm trying to remember now, I would have quoted Oprah for sure.

I was a huge fan of Oprah when I started out. I think the Oprah show was huge inspiration for me. And I've said that to Oprah. When I got to interview her on On Purpose, I said to her that I think a lot of what I do today is subconsciously inspired by the work she did. So I think that was there subconsciously, this idea right,

I would love to sit and study the minds of phenomenal people. I had a video dedicated to Steve Jobs obviously I would love to be friends with Steve Jobs but that's not possible but there was just videos that I was where I was talking about these people so definitely there was a feeling of I'd love to learn about these people's lives

and how they got there and what goes through their mind I know and now I mean look at you interviewed everybody Michelle Obama was quite recent Oprah Selena Gomez it's surreal it's surreal I mean you I can say the same way about you too

It's surreal. It's like, I'm sure you feel that way. I know that I still pinch myself. Yeah. I know that I still get anxious and nervous. I know that I'm so grateful for it. And I know that it's brilliant and beautiful. And I hope that it gives a feeling of opportunity and excitement for everyone thinking,

wow, you can figure it out. You can do it. And your path and way may not look like either of ours or any of ours, but there is a way to get to doing things that are really cool. and that you love. And, you know, I've felt honored to sit down with the people that I've had and got to know that deeply and intimately. So when you have them on your show, what's like the most interesting part of the human? Like, what are you trying to find out when you sit with that? Oh, great question. Because you have such a, I mean, you have a niche, you know,

kind of approach to things. Yeah. So what are you trying to get to in their core? I'm trying to get to the core of the human that we don't often get to see. or they don't get to share because often a lot of what everyone has to do is perform, show up, play a role, a product, whatever it may be. And I'm like, if we can get beneath that and beyond that, who is the soul, who is the heart, what is the essence of that being? That's what I'm trying to tap into. And I love the mining process.

I was just describing someone to someone this morning, this idea of how I'm looking at, I think all of us have a mirror when we start our lives, and then every experience we have almost adds a crack to that mirror. So your parents, your background, the school you went to, what someone said to you when you were young, your first boss, your first love, your first heartbreak, and all of a sudden you have a mirror with lots of cracks in it. I'm trying to get to that and understand how those cracks were created and formed

and how that person's perspective has evolved. Do you think they're ever nervous to come on your show? because it is so, like, deep and not, you know, not surface level, like a lot of interviews. Yeah, I think what I've learned, and I've really made peace with this, because when we started the show, no one could come on the show. Like, no one wanted to come on the show because the show didn't exist. You know, no one really knew about the show. So it was so hard to get anyone to come to show.

Now what I've realized is people come on when it's right for them to open up. And so I trust that if someone doesn't come on my show, I'm not offended, I'm not upset. I have no judgment. and I'm happy for anyone to do whatever show is right for them, because I feel our show creates a particular opportunity for someone. And I want someone to come on when they feel comfortable going there and not because they're being forced there, because that's definitely not who I am. So I only want someone to come on when they feel that they can trust, that they can share that part of themselves and they want to. And I feel like a lot of celebrities, you know, speaking of purpose,

are looking for a bigger purpose, right? We see so many celebrities, you know, joining religion, later in life or or whatever it is but because they have this crazy thing and this dopamine from living this crazy life and they're searching for the purpose so they're attracted to you I feel like in that way like they do look to you Sean Mendez I know he's a dear friend he did that live with you for your book I remember seeing it and I was like oh Sean is yeah I've been we've been friends for I don't know like three years now he's the sweetest human I know he's the most lovable person. He really does seem like... He is everything and more. He's amazing. Yeah, he's amazing. I love him. How do those

relationships usually start? Do they see your videos? Honestly, it will be like, if I, if I see someone connecting with my work, first of all, I'm like, no way does this person connect with my work? It still excites you. Yeah, 100%. And my instant reaction is to message them and thank them because I can't believe it, right? I'm like, I can't believe this person follows my work. And so I'll message and just say, thank you. And I appreciate it. And if I know something about them or love something about them. And so I must have DMed Sean like years before he even followed me because he'd made a song that really resonated with me. Which one? In my blood. Like that song was just, I thought it was really powerful and I'd message him about it. And he didn't

see that DM for three years or something. Yeah, I mean DMs they get long. Yeah, he hadn't seen it for three years, but then he'd come across think like a monk. And so he checked his DMs and seen I'd DM'd him three years ago and then we connected over there. And so I found that that's happened often where either someone's DME or I've divm them and then we discover it. And so all of it has happened really organically. And, you know, sometimes I spoke about this with Kendall Jenner. Like, so Kendall and I bumped into each other at a mutual friend's birthday party. And I'd connected with her.

And I'd seen her talk about mental health for years and well-being. And I loved that she was using her platform to do that. And so after seeing her at that party, I just messaged her. And I said, Kendall, look, like, I was too nervous to ask you at the party. But I would love to have that conversation with you. And she was like, Jay, are you kidding me? I'd love to do that with you. And so, you know, it was just this, it's just truly really organic.

and vulnerable because I'm putting myself out there and I'm okay with how long it takes and whatever it takes. I agree. And I think that because we talked about the particular way that you interview, like for somebody, there are some people who would, you know, have it intimidate them because they don't want to go there. And then somebody like Kendall Jenner, I feel like that's an interview where she would be more comfortable, you know, because she would love, you know, she's very into that stuff. She's so thoughtful and reflective and I love that she shared what she did on the interview on the podcast because I think people hadn't really seen that side. And I was so grateful to have that opportunity. Yeah, she's awesome. And you officiated J-Lo and Ben's wedding. Yes. How did that

happen? So J-Lo and I had been connecting over the years and so she came on the podcast early on. I'm trying to remember. It must have been 2020. The year she came on the podcast in January, I think it was. And so I'd interviewed her. We got connected. We really got along. It went really, well. And then she kept inviting me to events, movie premieres, and then she invited me to officiate four weddings as part of her Marry Me musical show in L.A. And so we officiated weddings of people that she'd brought together. And it was her, myself from Maluma, they were the witnesses, and I was officiating. And so we'd been developing this relationship over time, talking offline messaging. And then when she asked me to do this, I was completely, I mean,

when anyone ask you to come to their wedding, let alone officiate, it's the most humbling, nerve-wracking, nerve-wracking. And I remember practicing the ceremony to my wife a couple of days before, and my wife was just like, no, you can't say that. No, no, it needs to be better than that. This is Benefer, okay, 2.0. Yeah, and like 20 years of like, you know, the history of it. And I was just like, wow, I am not qualified for this. Like, this is hard work. And even on the day, day when I was standing there. And, you know, it's like, for me, come on, I grew up in, I grew up in London. Like, we, I loved movies growing up.

I'm at a movie set, like in one sense, but at the same time, it's not, it's real. Yeah. So you're toggling this, it's like, Ben's standing right next to me. We just had a conversation before we walked to the altar and now we're both standing there and it's still surreal. It's surreal. You know, Jennifer Lopez is walking down in her dress and everyone's like breaking down and crying and then Ben sheds a tear and then I'm just going, don't cry, dude.

not now. I love love. I'm a romantic. I'm a soppy guy. I'm like, standing and just don't cry. Like if you break down, then this whole thing's going to go. And then they're both there. I'm checking in. But they're okay. And then Jen looks me and goes, she goes, it's your turn now. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I know. I'm trying to get myself together. And it was, yeah, it was just, yeah, it was magic. It was really magical. And I'm glad I didn't cry. And you did Vanessa Hudgens recently. Yeah. So that was really, really special. So Vanessa, I'm sorry I met because, so Joe Jonas, who became a dear, dear friend during the pandemic, Joe set up a weekly Zoom meditation and community that I would teach and he would lead

for all of his friends during the pandemic. And so this would be a Zoom of maybe 20 to 25 people that were Joe's invites, and he would ask me to lead a meditation. And it was beyond meditation. I'd lead a meditation, but then after that, everyone would open their heart, people they'd lost, struggles they were going through, challenges, some of them were nurses, Some of them were nurses, doctors. Some of them were in the entertainment industry.

Some of them couldn't work anymore because they couldn't tour or travel. People would pour their hearts out. And Joe, again, is one of the nicest guys and is surrounded by a beautiful group of people. And so we'd be doing that for 75 weeks. What? So it was deep. It was really deep. Joe was doing the deep work.

And we did that for 75 weeks. And one of the people that he'd invited was Alex ship. So I don't know if you know Alex. She was in the new Barbie movie. She's fantastic. great actress, and she's friends with Vanessa, so she'd invited Vanessa. So the group was starting to grow kind of randomly. And so Vanessa came to the group, and there was a text thread beyond the group

between all of everyone who was on the group, but I wasn't invited to this because I guess it was a bit more frivolous and Joe wanted to keep it a bit that way. And what people think that you're like too serious? No, no, no, no, no. I think that Joe wanted to spare me the silliness, although I love it. Yeah, no, that's what I'm, because you know what I was thinking about you in that way. I want you to finish the Vanessa story. And I know we're almost, we're, there's so much more to ask you.

Sorry, I'm, I'm talking for too long. Yeah, it's all your fault. Sorry, it's my fault. You know, you're like this wellness. I call you guru in my mind. I hope that's okay. Like, they you have so much to teach. You have so much wisdom, so much knowledge.

But that pressure of like, you know, people think, thinking they can't expose you to silliness, you know? Are you ever like, hey, I can't, I'm not, you know, because you said before. forward too, like we're not just one thing. Totally. You're not just somebody was a monk or somebody that meditates or I mean, you can let loose, right? Yeah, totally, totally. And I think

it's needed and I actually think that's what the monks were like. Like the monks are some of the most childlike humor as people in the world. Like, if you meet a monk who's been a monk for like three decades, I promise you you will crack up because they have such a childlike energy about them. And so

it's part of being spiritual and well as well. Laughing is the best medicine. Right. I mean, that's been said for years and my wife is completely all about wellness, but she's one of the funniest people I've ever known in my life. So I think laughing is good. And yes, I agree. I think some of these people think I'm quite serious. And I like to break that bubble early because I want people to recognize people can be themselves around me too. Yeah. I'm not putting up this pressure wherever and everyone has to act a certain way around me. But anyway, Cole, tuck baseball player met Vanessa Hudgens on that group chat. Wow. And so that's how they met. And so they met each other and locked eyes. for the first time on a Zoom meditation that me and Joe were leading. Damn. And so Vanessa and Colin invited me to officiate their beautiful wedding this year.

Damn. And it was, I got to tell this story and a bunch more and it was really special. Wow. And they're such a wonderful couple and they've really,

really found love. It's spectacular. So you're also a wedding officiator. That is now a new thing. And before that, get like, or date, like, I had to do like,

now you just do an online test. And different states have different rules. So I've also done it in places where you don't need to have anything. But then the person who kicked it off was Lily. Colin. So Lily was the first person I ever did a year before. Before Jennifer Lopez is Charlie and Lily and one of my favorite couples of all times. Yeah, a really special couple. Jay, you're special.

I'm just grateful. You're special. Thank you. You're special. For real. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. This was so special to me. I could talk to you forever. I mean, this is, we're on page three. And there was so much more. I'm sorry if I went on and on. I apologize. You have such an interesting life and such an interesting story and you're inspiring to so many. So kind. I'm touched. And honestly, you coming to my show. show last year meant the world to me. It really, really did. I think what you've built and the platform you have is phenomenal. I'm a huge fan. I love following you. I love laughing with you. I love learning with you. I'm like exposed to everything that I want to know about about pop culture

through you and like you're my go-to. Oh, thank you. And so no, thank you. And thank you for always being so wonderful in person. Like I think we bumped into each other at the People's Choice Awards a couple of years back. You were so well dressed. And no, but so were you. And I was just, you were just so sweet and kind and humble and wonderful and I and I was blown away like I was so touched so thank you thank you that means so much I mean it I really mean it I really mean it thank you thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of not skinny but not fat follow me on Instagram at not skinny but not fat subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple podcast and write a little review if you tell me you did

I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.