Not Skinny But Not Fat - Jemima Kirke on GIRLS, City On Fire & Her Biggest Turn Ons

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

We fell in love with Jemima aka Jessa on Lena Dunham’s HBO show GIRLS and never looked back. The hair, the accent, the carefree attitude we could only dream about - that’s Jessa, I mean, Jemima’s essence! Today I sit down with her to talk about her new series on Apple TV, City on Fire, how she got on with Nico Tortorella, where she stands with Lena, if GIRLS could exist today and more!   Produced by Dear Media This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. I used to care so much about portraying a perfect life and acting like everything was okay when really things were far from it. I was secretly battling anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. So it was a lot. I'm Victoria Garrick, former Division I athlete, mental health advocate, and host of RealPod. Every Wednesday, I sit down with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more to talk about the inner thoughts and feelings that were all.

struggling with. So leave the filters and face tunes at the door and join me on RealPod. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonata on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday. and just feel like you're talking to go with your best friends in your living room. Jemai McCirk is here. I'm so excited.

I've been a huge fan of yours, obviously, since girls. Like, everyone wanted to be you on girls. The hair, do you miss the long hair? Really? No, not at all. No, I never, I begged to, I begged, you know, to let me cut it from the second season. I was like, I'm just so tight. Especially when I turned 30, I was like, this is not, it's not appropriate.

I just, I do believe in age appropriate where I know that some people are really against that. Yeah. But I'm like, this is just too long for a 30 something? Great for your 20s, but I had it. It's documented everywhere. Yeah. And now, and then so I, this, I love the chock's look. look for a long time. And now I'm doing, I don't know, I'm not thinking. Well, you have good hair

in general. But, thank you. Okay, so you were just on girls. And I read that you are an artist, so you weren't even interested in being an actress until Lena was like, come do this thing with me. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I, I went to, well, that was the blueprint. That was a plan, because I was going to paint for a living. And then Lena and I hadn't seen each other in years since school and we reconnected and she's like I'm making this film you know so the kind of thing you just do after school you know just make your own film and see what happens and she's like will you be in it I'm like yeah why not and then and that was tiny furniture and then I got pregnant and I was she approached me to do she was like I got this pilot for HBO and I was I said no and she

was like well you probably won't even get picked up and if it does you'll just be so they're on and off maybe a cameo. Yeah. I just did a couple episodes. I still said no. Why? Did you not like it? No, I was just, well, yeah, that was that was that.

I've actually never said that before. I didn't like it. I read it and I didn't like it. I didn't like the character you were supposed to do. Everyone's going to hate this. Like this is not, this is, this is, it was, to me, it was slow. Like I read it and it was slow. I thought this, no one's going to be interested in this.

It felt too realistic. Yeah. And I guess that was exactly what people. people were drawn to. Right. But then they raised the amount of money that they were offering me, and I said, fine, I'll do the pilot. But just sort of hoping everything would fall into place.

And it did, just not in the way that I wanted it to at first. But I'm actually, I'm happy. Wait, so you had your baby, though, before girls, you had your first kid? Yeah, about three, three to five weeks before. So you filmed five weeks after how? After having the baby. I brought the baby with me and had a, uh, uh, nanny with me. And I had never done any sort of commercial acting on any big scale other than

Lena's movie. And so I was a massive pain in the ass and such a divot before it was appropriate to use. Yes, asking for stuff. And I mean, that's in my nature to be a bit, a bit direct about what I want and need, but in a workspace that is, you know, a way of being part of the group that I didn't get. The PA would come and knock on my trailer door for me and say, you know, drive or ready for you, which means get out there within two minutes. And I'd be like, I've been waiting for two hours, so you can wait for me too. Like that. I mean, or not knowing, I mean, this was probably charming. That was not charming, but I didn't. didn't know where the camera was. I didn't know where my marks were. I didn't know that those tapes.

Did you audition for it? No. So she just took, Lena was just like, I want you to be in it. She said, you want to be in it. I said no and that was that. And then they started her and I suppose Jenny Connor and Judd Apatow started auditioning other actors. And I did see some of them. I'm not even sure if that's allowed. I did watch some of the auditions with her just for fun. And there were some people that I don't know if I'm allowed to say who. but there were some famous people who weren't at the time and I think it was her way

of like reeling me in I don't know if I was maybe I was subconsciously a bit jealous Oh like oh she's gonna do it I was like no no no no she's not doing it right Or she's good She's pretty But did Lena say to you straight up

Like Jeremiah this is kind of based on you This character Jessa Yeah yeah Well when we did tiny furniture The character was We discussed it was like A sort of conglomerate of some people that we knew

with some eccentrics, some stories that Lena had about me because she remembers everything, everything. She remembers so much that I think a lot of it's embellished as memories are. So that was the tiny furniture one and then Jesso was based off of that character and as she's writing it though,

you know, as she did with all the characters, she's pulling from her relationship with the actors. So that's how girls is sort of unlike other shows and it's something that bothered me for a long time that we were all so associated with our characters yeah and then i recently realized i was like well we were because it was written that way despite ourselves we didn't i don't think we realized at the time that it was kind that she was doing that and she so at first i read that you showed up and you were like i'm just

going to be me like everyone was like just be you kind of they know what i don't know what you read, but it was more like, you don't know how to learn lines yet. So just when you can't remember the lines, just keep talking. And I was comfortable doing that. And Judd and Lena love improv. Yeah. And so my first experience of, you know, the first season, at least, maybe a second a bit, was mostly improv. Wow. Yes, I, now I do know how to learn lines and very well, if anyone's hiring. But at the time, I really didn't. And I think, yeah, there was this,

there's this thing that Judd does where he, you have a line, maybe it's an entry line. You walk into a room and you have a line say, which is like, oh, you know, it's so hot out that he'd say, okay, change it every time. Just, okay, go again. And there's no time to breathe or think. Yeah.

You just have to change it and you don't, without thinking about it, the most ridiculous things come out. And I remember there was a line, which was every time, I do Coke, I, and he, I don't remember what the original thing was, but I just changed it every time as I was instructed to do it. So what did, do you remember what it turned out to me? Well, the one, the one they used, and I ended up laughing on the tape because it was such a

ridiculous thing. Yeah. It was probably the 10th one. I said, every time I do Coke, I shit myself and I end up fucking a homeless man. I remember that. Wait, was that at that party? It was the first episode, I think, and they're all in one of their apartments. I don't know. It's all the characters together. I remember as a viewer, like, I feel like when, I don't remember what season, but when you got with Adam, right? I feel like you were more like into the acting part of it, right? You were like naked.

You were like feeling all these things. You weren't just like death. I mean, I would have been naked anyway. But you're right that the first two or three. seasons that I was, yeah, a bit defensive, you know, I was a bit, I was not fully on board and I was, there was a petulance to the way I approached the work and I, and a lack of professionalism, I think, because I didn't want to be there. And I was like, well, you know what, this is my job. I'm very lucky to have it. Yeah. And it can be fun. Like, why am I going to

make this boring for myself? I'm the one who's, who's struggling here. No one else is not bothering anyone else. So I was like, I'm just going to, I'm going to actually lean in and try acting in a different way. Yeah. Did it become more fun for you when you did? So much more fun and so much more, not just fun, but engaging and just the curiosity came up, which is something that I find now is the key to acting is being curious. If you are not curious about a character or why they say or do the things they do, then you're just saying lines and a believable way. Yeah.

You know, and I remember an acting teacher of mine, his name's Tony Greco, and he helped me a lot, and he shouts at me a lot, and he would say, aren't you curious? Aren't you got like, where's your curiosity? And I was like, you're right. Why am I not curious? I've got to get curious. And that's when you do things that, you know, maybe the director doesn't like, but you have to be willing to be embarrassed or do the wrong thing, you know, because it might be the right

thing. Oh my God, you guys, I just had the most delicious ready to drink coffee. Cold brew on the go. I had Emma Chamberlain's Chamberlain coffee. Listen to this. Cinnamon bun latte. It was so freaking good. And you know what?

Before you guys go worrying about my tummy, do not worry because it's made with plant-based milk. I feel like it was just made for me. Like Amanda wants to have coffee, make sure it's easy on her tummy. And it was so delicious. because I need a, I need some flavor in my coffee. I'm not like, oh, give it to me black. I need some sweetness in my life. So the cinnamon bun flavor was amazing and had that little sweetness.

I didn't need to add anything to it. What I did do is create more dishes for myself because I poured the Chamberlain cinnamon bun latte into a cup and added ice and a straw to make it all fancy. Just so you know, you can check out their other flavors, vanilla latte, the regular cold brew latte, the moca latte, which I also really like. So Emma Chamberlain, Chamberlain coffee has amazing, ready-to-go drink collection.

You can just have an amazing coffee with minimal effort and bring your brew. They go for a limited time. My listeners can get a free Chamberlain coffee latte when they purchase a can. Terms and conditions apply. You have to go to chamberlain coffee.com. dot co slash not skinny for offer details chamberlain coffee dot co slash not skinny have you guys tried 21 seeds it's amazing award winning infused tequila okay 21 seeds is a one of a kind tequila infused with a juice of real fruit it's smooth it's not sweet it smells fresh and bright and tastes incredible

I'm like either white wine or tequila blanco kind of a girly, but I'm not downing pure shots of tequila blanco. I usually need some sort of a chaser, but I don't like it to be too sugary and literally 21 seeds and they're infused tequila. It just made all my dreams come true, solved all my problems. They also make the most delicious and easy margaritas. and cocktails so you can focus on the fun instead of trying to be, you know, a bartender or a mixologist and make your own cocktails. So check out 21 Seeds if you want to try an amazing one-of-a-kind infused tequila. I also really love the 21 Seeds as a female founded company. Love to hear about a female founded company. It's by two sisters and one friend. And they're also super committed to

celebrating the LGBTQ community, the founder, Kat Haunta, said that she created the brand with the intention of providing a fun and inviting space that is inclusive. So super inclusive. We love to freaking hear that. So try 21 seeds infused tequila for easy and delicious cocktails. Visit 21seeds. com to find 21 seeds near you. Enjoy responsibly 21 seeds. Diageo, New York, New York. What was it like acting with Adam Driver? I mean, who knew at the time he would become this like, Did anybody feel it, like on set? Like, he's going to be big. This is going to...

I think there was talk about that. I didn't work with him much at all until that season. So I didn't know him very well. Yeah. Just through, you know, through Lena and what she told me about him. And I did see that he was a really good actor and had something. But no, no one knew it was... He was going to be like a sex pot.

Until, like, you know, the later seasons when he started getting jobs. And then there was one big jobs. And there was one season where he got nominees for a Golden Globe or something and all of us girls are like, wow, you know. Like we're over here, too. But was it different then? Like, I don't, I wasn't doing what I'm doing now. But I wonder how different it would be if girls came out now with like social media and like all this shit. It wouldn't work.

You don't think it would work? Why? Because I think that what our show came out. right before Me Too happened and as you know feminism was sort of finding its its place in the sort of the current culture and vernacular and we was figuring out what that was right we didn't really know we didn't we were sort of guessing we thought we were building it and we kind of were but when Me Too happened you were like oh okay that was the direction it's going it's not great because the

direction we were going in was we're not precious we're not fragile flowers and we can be reckless with ourselves and our bodies and laugh about it and chalk it up to an experience that shapes us. And I think the thing, not only the stories that she's telling and the episodes themselves, but also the way that we worked would today not be acceptable to people. I mean, because we touched each other, you know, between when the camera wasn't on, to show, when we blocked things out. Yeah.

There was no, well, there was no such thing as an intimacy. Yeah. Coordinator. Yeah. So it was more about being, sort of owning not just our sexuality, but all the shitty stuff that comes with it as well and making fun of it. Yeah. Rather than being angry about it.

So do you think today people would like judge the show harshly? Well, it's been judged. Yeah, it's been judged. And I feel like now it's having like a resident. People are rewatching it now. Yeah, I know. And I'm trying to figure out why. And I think that the more forgiving of it because it's a bit dated.

Right. It's like, oh, back then. Yeah. You know, back then they could do shit like that. Yeah, but there are moments where people would say that, you know, let's say, let's talk about that any one of the sex scenes that people might see as degrading or borderline assault or something. And the way, the way Lena treated the writing was that it's funny. Yeah. And it's, it's okay.

And I'm going to make light of this because it's something we all experience. Yeah. I don't know if, there's some things I don't even know if I can say. Oh my God, you can say it. It's been time. You're terrible. It's just not the feminism that ended up happening. Yeah.

But, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Yeah. I don't think it perpetuates. more, you know, puts us in a more dangerous position. It's just what we were doing. Yeah. Do you still talk to Lena? I loved your friendship so much.

Lena is one of my favorite people in the entire world. And she was working with her, had its ups and downs. The downs were that she's so involved in her work that at times it's even hard for her to separate the reality from the professional world of fiction, you know, because she is she's observing all the time and sometimes I watch her on interviews and maybe I've watched with her and been like oh my god

you're glazed over you are so not paying attention you're so thinking about something she's like I totally was panicking and I can see it when she's gone yeah right so and I and I could see that on you know every time if we went to an event together I saw that and I'm trying to have fun and I see the glazed

overlook she's doing what celebrities do when they want to need to get through something they don't want to be and it's just sort of observe and, you know, get through it. Yeah. And I'm trying to be more. Present? Yeah, more present. But I understand that self-preservation.

And then also at work, you know, it was like I wanted to talk and she's thinking about lighting. You know, and that's her job. You know? So you think working together was like not the other thing. I'm just talking about the negative side. But that was the side where I would get a bit stroppy at times because I didn't fully understand it. And then I get stroppy sometimes because. I asked her for one thing, and one thing only, I was like, write whatever you.

Because a lot of the things that happened were things that were very similar to things that happened to me, or she, you know, she wrote sort of versions of my story and sometimes directly quoted me. Actually, one of the monologues at the end were that big fight with Adam. I didn't like what was written. And so she came into my room and she was like, gave me a pen and paper. And she was like, just write it. I was like, okay. So that thing about, like, because I have a fat ass and good hair, I wrote that. Cool.

That was pretty cool. That's the nice part. Yeah. But sometimes she would get too close to home and I'm like, please don't make me an artist. Please don't turn Jess it into a painter or an artist. Yeah. And just because that's the one thing. That's like, just you.

Just preserve that for me, please. Yeah. And I don't think it was her fault. One day I walked in and there was a massive canvas on set when I'm married to that. Yeah, yeah, you married that guy. Yeah. Thomas John is the character. And I was like, no, no, I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing this. And then I was talked into it and it, but it didn't happen again. We didn't use it. Yeah, it wasn't like a bit, you didn't like become a painter. We sorted it out. Yeah. So it was hard to separate a little bit like your friendship, but also Jemima from Jessa. Oh, yeah, that too.

And then the community, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place of needing to work with the company and the producers and preserve a friendship and appeasing like you yeah that's tough that's so were you happy when it ended like were you a little relieved or were you sad i mean no i was i don't mind endings of of things like that it's like i'm not i was slightly shocking it was done i just remember going into my dressing room after we wrapped and i was like oh my god It's done. And I was compelled to do like a selfie and a post, which I'm humiliated by now that I did that. My face is like slightly sad.

It's just way too earnest for Instagram. Oh my God, I need to find this pick. Yeah. It's back. In the archives? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

And I was sad to lose the paycheck, to be honest. Yeah. It was like a job. Yeah. I mean, you don't have the support of that. Is it wild to you? that like so many people want to be actors, you know, sleep in their cars, all this shit. And you were like forced.

You were like, come do this. You don't want to. You do it. And like you have the thing that works, but like somebody had to really get you to do it. It's wild and it's it's a bit embarrassing because it's something that so many people want. And I understand the anger. No, the sort of anger that might bring up in someone. for me not being grateful for it and for it actually being handed to me on a silver

platter and me saying, but I really didn't want it. You know, it's like, it's like if you ask an architect, hey, you want to be on a hit HBO show, they'd be like, I don't know. Like, I need time to think about that. You know, you weren't, you're saying you weren't even in that direction. No, I never had, you never, it's so crazy. And now do you feel like, what, Wow, this is what I was meant to do. I was a mole in Windenville, I was in middle school. So, yeah, I did that before. Just that, yeah.

Yeah. But you weren't had this dream of becoming, like, famous or... No, so it was hard. When I read, you know, the criticisms of people or heard directly from friends that I needed to be... That it was sort of offensive, that I wasn't more grateful for this. I understood their point of view, but I don't think they understood mine. Yes, there's an insane amount of... of privilege to be given something that not only pays well, but is for many people a dream

job. Right. But it wasn't mine at the time. It became mine. It really did. It took a long time, but it became, when I figured out what the point of acting was, like I didn't understand acting really. Yeah. I understood performing. I understood making people laugh. It's something I like to do anyway and that's just sort of what I did at first but when I figured out I know about writing I know about painting didn't understand acting and I used to get asked all the time what's a similarity is there any similarity between acting and painting I'd shut it down no way nothing and I understand that there is and I won't go into that but the big just because it's boring but but I get it now and it's the hardest thing I've ever done and I do I do love it and do

still paint yeah I do paint I mean a lot less because time-wise because I have the two kids and you know I did work throughout the pandemic which I'm very lucky. Right. Yes, I'm going to keep telling you about Macy's. I'm going to keep reminding you of where you came from. Okay?

Miss, you know, shopping and all these little boutiques and buying her, you know, her clothes here and her bags here and her shampoo here and her, you know, watch there. No, Macy's has all of it in one place, guys, in one store. By the way, Fourth of July is coming up. Are you planning a bash?

Are you having a barbecue you're not inviting me to? Are you doing something at your pool? Well, then invite me, but also got to make sure you have all the tools to have that barbecue. And you can find them all at Macy's. Macy's knows how to celebrate Fourth of July. So check out everything red, white, and blue at Macy's.com slash own your style. And don't forget, speaking of Fourth of July, Macy's has their 47th annual. fireworks for the 4th of July. Isn't that so great? Like literally associating Macy's with fireworks. Every

year, Macy's has 4th of July fireworks. I know because Hussb drags me to go watch the fireworks at the river. I hate going to, with all those people, can I please have like my own, you know, penthouse balcony overlooking the river so I can just see the, the fireworks on my own. But if not, you can always watch it on TV, you guys. So experience the thrilling night of the Pirate technics accompanied by celebrity performances. I don't know who it is yet. I need to look it up, you guys. So learn more at macy's.com slash fireworks.

And don't miss Macy's 47th annual 4th of July fireworks. Macy's.com slash fireworks. It's all about that base. About that bass. No trouble. It's all about that bass.

Base, you guys, is an overpacker's dream. It could be hard to fit everything in, especially when it comes to luggage, base there's room for everything no problem bring it all okay you guys base is a luggage company created by actress shame mitchley you might know her from pretty little liars she's just fabulous she makes sleek and affordable bags sleek like her hair affordable bags luggage and accessories designed to help you travel effortlessly and looking fashionable while you do it i love base that's what we travel with their carry-on is just perfect it's tsa approved obviously it goes to

up above. It's easy. You can even lift it on your own. Girl freaking power. I love it because of its cushioned handle really makes me feel like my dainty little hands. You know, stay dainty. I also love their built-in weight indicator, the washable bags for dirty clothes and all the interior pockets make me feel so damn organized. Like it looks just like, did you pack yourself or did you bring like a packing company? Because that looks beautiful. And no, I did it myself. It's just space has a way of making everything look and feel organized. Their luggage comes in multiple sizes and colors,

you guys. So check it out. Right now, Base is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting base travel.com slash not skinny. Go to base travel.com slash not skinny for 15% off your first purchase. That's base travel,

B-E-I-S travel.com slash not skinny. Let's talk about you growing up. You obviously have an accent, which I remember, I don't know if you guys notice. that's why she got famous. No, I'm just saying. When I saw you on, what was it, like, busy tonight? I remember that clip. I think I posted it because it was so funny. Lola's best. It was like with your sister, Lola. And you guys were laughing about, like, you having an accent,

but she doesn't really have an accent. So they're like, Joanne was faking it. And people bought it. Yeah. People believe that she was the one who said it. And then Lola said the best thing, which I think maybe busy asked this or maybe it came up and we talked about our third sister and Domino was like she has a Jamaican accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but people did believe it. No, I really do have an accent, which is kind of, you know, a bit sloppy now. It's a little bit mixed.

Madonna. Wait, do Domino and Lola have the same accent as you? Domino is older than both of us. She's married to Penn Badgley. Yeah. She's a doula. And yes, and she has an English accent. Yeah.

But Lola was only a toddler when she moved here. Oh, so that's why she doesn't. And how old were you when you moved here? 10 or 11. But I consciously kept it as a way to make friends, you know, in middle school. Because I was just like, I just thought if I do that, I'll have something to offer. Something like, cool. Yeah.

And your three sisters and one bro, how is it being three sisters? Are you all the same closeness? No, but do you have multiple things? I have three sisters. That's why I always ask because, like, I feel like three with sisters can be like. Of course. You're a force. But we, yes.

and it's tricky, but you know how it is, it's like oscillating, you know, one sister's in the doghouse at one time and that sometimes it's the other one. Wait, so you're the middle? I'm the middle. Oh, same. Yeah. So sometimes it's Domino and I talking shit about Lola. Yeah. Sometimes it's Lola and I about Domino. Yeah. I'm sure it's Domino and Lola about me. You know, it's just, I don't think, there have been times though, where, you know, when family get-togethers where we do genuinely enjoy each other's company. Lola's the funny. one, if we're going to go there, because I chose to. Lola's the funny one. Domino is like this, like, sweet, soft-spoken, you know, nurturing. She drinks tea, yeah. I hate tea. You hate tea. I just, when some, I've said this before and I'll say it again.

When someone invites me out, I can't, if someone invites me out to lunch, I'll say yes, but I'm not going, right? Like, I'll say, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, lunch. I'm not doing lunch. I don't have time. time to sit down for lunch. I mean, unless it's a business. Wait, if it's dinner, is that better?

Yeah, it's the end of the day. You're whining down and have a drink. No lunch. Yeah, no lunch, waste of time. Or a coffee or a tea. Coffee is bad enough. It's just because it's just coffee. Right.

I want either a drink or let's go do something. Let's go to an estate sale or let's go follow a person down the street. You know what I feel like people do here? I feel like it's an American thing. Tell me if you agree because you're British. but like I feel like when people are like oh do you want to go get a coffee you're almost offended because you're like oh great you want to give me 15 minutes of like your time but they're actually being like polite to you right because they don't want to assume that you would sit down for a whole dinner with them or like drinks with them yeah but like what's a coffee a coffee are you just sitting and drinking a coffee yeah so don't do that with jama mom I'm like I get coffee in the morning to function I don't know I don't know I just I would Rather, let's meet at night and either make something fun of it or let's just call it what it is and let's have a meeting. But your sister drinks tea.

Or then the next one down that's even worse is let's have a tea. So it's like double no fun. Yeah. You know, it's like it's not even caffeine. Yeah. Don't offer a tea. You can offer me a tea. It's fine.

If I'm once I'm there, I'll take the tea. Yeah. But yeah, so that's just one thing that sort of describes Domino, she loves a tea. She loves a tea. So she's just, you know, she's just calm. But also used to be in the late 90s, early 2000, she was just the cool, like the best pickup artist of all time. I mean, we lived in the West Village and she would go to these nightclubs,

you know, when Leonardo DiCaprio was going out, when, like, clubs were a thing and there was, you know, models and famous people with bottle service. Yeah, yeah. And I remember her coming back in. Like one oak or whatever. Yeah. Oh, before that.

I remember One Oak, but it was the places were Life Lotus, Mumba, Spa. What am I, well, Don Hills was more my place. Wait, so she was a pickup artist. What do you mean? Like, meaning she just, she just ended up with the coolest people. Oh, really? You know, either they were at our house or she had run away with them. Like, you know.

So you have two kids. Yeah. So you're a single mama. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. I never know if a, because my mom was a single mom because my dad wasn't in the picture.

I actually looked up the definition of a single mom. Good for you. I wasn't sure if it meant raising the kids by yourself no help. Yeah. Or just that you're not living with your... What did it say? It wasn't straight up. It wasn't straight up.

Yeah. I always thought it was, you know, if you're a single mom, then there's no help. There's no help. Yeah. And I agree with that more so than the other thing. And it's at times it's been... Well, I'm fully single now. I don't have a partner or a boyfriend and a husband.

And that, so it's much more single than, I wasn't really ever a single mother until the last two years. Because I shared the kids with their father and then Alex raised them with me. And now the father sometimes just gets busy and I take the kids more, I have the kids more often. So right now we're in that phase where I just have them more often. And, yeah, I have them during the week, and he has them some weekends. That's nice. I'm married. But sometimes I look at that and I'm like, that might be nice.

Like sharing, like having the days off. Is there any places to do it? Oh, my God. I don't think I could ever do it any other way. No, so you probably could. I would have to if I had to. Right. And I'd figure it out, but I'd need therapy to figure out how to do this.

No, but that you get, like, actual, like, time off. Yeah. But there was a time where we split the kids 50-50 and it was week on and week off, week on, week off. That was amazing, but a bit strange because, you know, adjusting to them coming back, it took a few days, you know, to feel like a parent again. And also not having them, it was like, oh, I can go balls to the wall if I can go nuts for a week. And then that comes and bites in the ass or come Monday morning when they're back. Yeah, yeah. Like how, you have to figure out the balance.

Yeah. So, but it's nice having the weekends, the weekends off for sure. Yeah. What do you like to do on the weekends? I don't even know what day it is most of the time. And, but so I don't really differentiate that much. But I stress out just as much as I do on the weekdays. Yeah.

But I suppose I just like the quiet. I just, I putter. Yeah. I putter. I move things from there to there. And I go over there and I do the same thing. And I juzh. And then I'll maybe.

go and see someone for a drink or did you always want to be a young mom no no it just happened that way yeah because you have like two you're 38 you have two how old your kids like three teens three teens 12 and 10 wow a girl and a boy yeah my daughter's 12 and she'll be 13 in September oh bat mitzvah

apparently that's what she thinks she's having a bat mitzvah I'm like you're not even pressed up you need to be studying now Well, you, the Dahl family, because my husband, my family is Israeli. And I remember, how do you know the, because I know when girls came out, I think I was still living in Israel, I lived there for a while. And when we were obsessed with you and we were like, wait, do you know. And I remember we were like the Dala, there's like a cafe Delaal. Suzanne Delaal Center, the dance center. Yeah, that's my own. So your family's like very connected to like lots of different. We're Jews. And we are.

Iraqi Jews and Israeli Jews. And Israeli. Have you been to Israel ever? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you have? Yeah, yeah. I think not a lot, but my ex-husband was Orthodox when I met him. What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was an adjustment. More for him than me. He was Orthodox? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was raised Orthodox and he was in his early 30s when I met him. and I think I had a rebellious streak and I think that was the draw to me. Yeah.

It was like, oh, this is my ticket. This is a great ticket out of here. Not that he, but I think he thought he wanted out. And then there was the guilt. I got so excited driving the other day because I saw a court furniture rental store and I was like, hey, I know you. court furniture rentals. They're so amazing. With court furniture rentals, you can get the furniture

and services you need to make any life transition as easy as possible. I mean, buying furniture is such a freaking pain. And I also am the type of person that likes to change things up. Pretty often, I'm like, wait, are you supposed to stay with the same couch forever if it doesn't get dirty? Like, I don't understand. I like changing things up. Furniture rentals. You guys know, know I love clothing rentals. So furniture rentals are a total vibe and you can have it on demand. So you can furnish where you live. You can decide you're over it. You can press play like you press play on this podcast. You can pause it and you return it. And basically with court furniture rental, you can rent furniture when you need it and return it when you don't. Isn't that fun?

I just feel like it's perfect for people today the way we get over things. quickly. It's like we're not our parents still talking about the same furniture they got at Ethan Allen in 1942. Okay. Life is always changing. Your furniture should be able to change with you. You don't want to be tied down to furniture. So get furniture on your own terms with court. That's C-O-R-T. Furniture Rental. Visit court.com slash podcast. That's court. C-O-R-T.com slash podcast to learn more and find the furniture package that fits your life. When I tell you that I just watched this girl do a COSOS tutorial and I wanted to screen record it because it was in their stories. So I remember because this girl looked freaking gorgeous. So I have the COSA's

concealer. I highly freaking recommend it. I also started using their lip oil. Gorgeous. And their setting powder is also really cool. They also have just amazing skincare that is proven to be better for sensitive skin and acne prone skin. It's hyperallergenic. And it's just amazing. You guys really need to go to COSAs. They're giving my listeners 15% off. I'll give you the code in a minute. But what I want to say is, so I saw this girl doing this tutorial. She used their SPF. And she also used the setting powder. And she also used the lip oil that I love and this wet lipstick. And she also used the brow thing. And I just love it all. I need to like do that entire thing that she did. And that's all while knowing that just COSAS has just amazing clean, clean skin care.

Also, you can take their five stepshade finder quiz to figure out your perfect match so you can get just the perfect match for your skin. They're just award winning and amazing. So don't choose between wearing great makeup and taking care of your skin. Right now, COSIS is offering our listeners, 15% off your first purchase of $50 or more. When you go to COSys.com slash not skinny, go to COSys. dot com slash not skinny for 15% off your first purchase of $50 or more plus free shipping cosas.com slash not skinny well let's talk about city on fire i've i've watched a few episodes i'm really into it my husband's actually watching with me that doesn't happen a lot so i like

it because it's for me but also my husband can watch it with me because there's like murder in it that's how you get like a man to watch something you're like they're shooting i swear it's not just like you know. So it's on Apple TV, which is super bougie. And you're in it. Yeah, it is boogey. The minute I saw you were in it, Nico Tortorella is in it. I mean, that's like a cast that people want to watch. Right.

This character is like different for you though. It is. She's like, yuppie. It's different, but it's in line with the characters I've played lately, which is, you know, the principal in sex education. And then I remember her name Melissa in conversations with friends. And now this, it's sort of,

extreme, almost, you know, cartoon version of the adults I've been playing. You know, I'm not saying it's written that way, but the idea of me playing the sort of Upper East Side, possibly Republican, one percenter, you know, on the board of St. Bernard. That's in my head, by the way. Yeah. And all of that. And work, a COO and wears a pantsuit, pearls. Was that, like, weird for you, the fashion? I loved it. Yeah. It's really helpful because it puts you in that It's so important I've learned, for me at least, because it can really, you can really lean into how the wardrobe makes you feel. I mean, a wardrobe can make you sit differently.

True. You know, if you're wearing a pearl necklet or pearl earrings or have your hair in a certain way or wearing a beige, a lot of beige, you can just let that take you, you know, and it helps. And the, oh my God, I remember doing the meeting. with the hair and makeup. And it's, you know, it's 2003. I'm like, please don't give me a blowout. Please don't give me a blowout.

He's like, oh, you got to do a blowout. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm like, why do you hate a blowout? Like flat? Like straight? Well, your hair is like in a ponytail, though. In the show at times, yeah.

Yeah, but there's times where it's like straight down. Just like clean, you know, that that was a thing. And then we looked at a lot of references like, you know, Cheryl Crowe and, you know, Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore from him. that time or Madonna and it was a lot of that deliberate sort of curling iron curl, you know, which we did for the party scene a bit. But yeah, the hair was atrocious in the way it was I mean, we laughed a lot doing the hair. But you got to film in New York, which is super cool and convenient. It's very convenient. So when the script came up, was this like an audition, right?

Like you go, no? No. Damn, she's offer only everybody. No, not always. But for this is an offer. Oh, cool. Yeah. So they came to with the project, like, we want you for this. Yeah, which made it more exciting for me because it meant that they wanted more than what was on the page if they're coming to me, right?

Because they could go to anyone. There are more obvious options for that character. Yeah. Yeah. And so coming to me, I was like, okay, so they want something that I can bring to this. And I figured out what that was, which is that she loved her brother,

who is, you know, seemingly polar opposite, right? So if she loves him, that means they would connect it at one point. That means there's something in common. So what does that look like? Her brother was played by Nico. Yes. Did you get along with them? Yeah.

Like you guys vibed? Not just got along. It was more than that. It was more emotional, like, bonding right away because we started talking about the relationship and the intervention scene. And when it came time to shoot that. scene and we're blocking it. By the way, that scene, you know, as you know, like you probably knows, they take hours and hours to shoot and it feels like you've just done a marathon and

it might be the best performance of your life, but then it gets edited down and you don't see all your favorite parts necessarily, but it works for the show. But acting it out and blocking it, there was, when we were blocking it, he wouldn't look at me and he was like, but he's like, saying, I'm not going to look at you because if I look at you, I'm going to lose it. Like, I need to, it's kind of like, you don't want to blow your load. Yeah. You know, in the rehearsal. Yeah.

So, because there was just something about, and I felt the same way. Like you didn't want to waste it on. I was already choked up before we started shooting it. Wow. So, yeah, even when the camera was, when the camera was on someone else, I took that opportunity to just get it out. Like, I was just, like, sobbing. And it was that line where he says, basically, but I don't create, I'm of no value to you because I don't have any work to sell. And it was that line.

And maybe it's because I'm an artist and maybe it's because I'm, you know, that is my purpose, my trade, essentially, that I understood that, you know, we all have that feeling that if we can't deliver a product, especially in New York City, that's something, you know, that's something that defines how well you're doing, is it how much are you producing, right? Right. What do you do? What are you working on? What's being made?

What's a next thing? It really can feel like, you know, you're worthless. So I do adore him. Yeah. So I saw you also said that one of the things you love most in life that makes you happy is like Leonardo DiCaprio's first scene in. Romeo, right. Yeah.

And you mentioned him again today. I'm like, are you feeling him? Big time right now. Really? Yes, because I have a 12 year old. And so we went on a Leo binge, right? Of his films. Yeah.

And over the last month we've been doing. a lot of Leo and we're going back and we're watching more. And so watching Romeo and Juliet was just wild for me to see it again because I watched, I went to the theatre to see it. Yeah. Watching him in once upon a time in Hollywood, I think it was the most impressive I've ever seen it. I haven't seen it. It's good. Yeah, it's good. But it's his performance that really blew me away. There's this one scene that I put on repeat where he, he does this scene, he's doing this movie that's kind of out of his wheelhouse because he's a Western actor. He plays, he does Westerners, and he's always playing the bad guy, and he's doing this

movie, and he's hung over, and he can't remember his lines, and he's also doing a really bad job, which is really hard to do, right? As an actor, it's like telling a lie, right? Telling a lie, acting. You don't want to seem like you're telling a lie. It's not a Disney show, but the audience also has to know if that's the way of the way. it's set up that you're lying says a little bit of both and so with that in acting it's the same we want to see that he's trying but he's just not succeeding so it can't be too broad um he's just really

good he was just really good at being back and it made me laugh so hard because i just saw myself in it with it he was doing a good job but i saw in his eyes how insecure he was as the character and then the next bit is him going into the trailer screaming and himself for not remembering his lines and we're doing a terrible job and saying he's going to blow his fucking brains out if he doesn't get these lines right. And it's just so real. So you're on a Leo kick right now. Yeah. So who's your like top three Hollywood dudes? Leo. And you're single now, which like we need to mention because I feel like it hasn't. It's not really like out there. I did mention it in in one or two magazine. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't think I didn't say like, I just said I'm single. I don't think

I said. Because you were married again. Oh, you weren't really married. No. Well, I wasn't really married to my first husband either. I just call them out. Oh. That's just my thing. Because if you say girlfriend, boyfriend, people don't at restaurants or on the phone, making appointments.

Wait, so both of these weren't official marriages? No. Well, then that's good. This is great news. Yeah, but in New York State, there's such thing as you can be proven to be domestic partners. But there's no, there was no legalities with either. But do you know that it's, like, listed that you were married? Yeah, I saw that.

Okay. I don't know who. It's also listed that my son's middle name is Kirk, which is not true. I would never do that. You're like, I'm not angry about the married thing, but don't make up a middle name. Well, the married, well, it's more true than the, than that. Okay, so the three Hollywood dudes. Leo is one of them.

Well, if I say it, then they're not going to turn up, are they? Because they might hear this. They might, they might turn up more than if you didn't say it. Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb here. Yeah. Let's see. I can't go for Leonardo. I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe. Maybe Leo. I don't know what he's like in person. I did meet him once then. He was lovely. I'm sure he was. He actually came up to me at the summer after party and gushed about how much he loves girls, which was really.

That's so cool. So funny. He was like, I'm a huge fan. I'm like, I'm a huge fan. Like, I don't want to what do you say? And then my husband at times shows up. like, oh, buzz kill. Mike, I know.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you're my three, Jamie Fox. Shut up. First of all, wish him well. He's not well right now. I know, yeah. So when Katie Holmes was dating him, you were like, oh, Katie.

Yeah, I was impressed. I was impressed. Okay, I like this. Third. Call him third. Is he married? I think he just got married, yeah. Would you answer, like, an Instagram DM from a dude?

or an actor. Who was attractive? Yeah. Yes. Have you? Not from a dude. Not from a dude? Yeah.

A female that, an actress did. Like slid in like? She propositioned me. I so entertained it just so, but I, I wasn't single at the time. But that wasn't, wasn't why. It was, it just wasn't my thing. I'm not a lesbian. I just, I tried to be.

I wish I could do that. I mean, I'm not not. I'm straight, but I also don't give a shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're straight, but you would be down. But you're not that. I'm straight, but I'm open.

You're straight, but you're open. But I'm not, I don't identify as queer. I mean, I'm game. Your game. I'm game. But wait, I didn't finish my list. No, why you said three. Okay, there are more than two.

There's Joaquin. Phoenix. I mean, that's an obvious one. I get it. That's an obvious one, but I also really loved when him in his chunky moment, when he had the beard and he presented. pretended that he quit acting and he was going to be a hip-hop producer. Do you remember that? Yeah. He did that. It was. I think it was like maybe 10 years ago or so. Wait, you're loving like

the pudgy phases of people. I always do. Why? In a man, because there's a, listen, there's nothing more unattractive than a man who's self-conscious about how he looks, right? So when that happens, it's just shows maybe they're just really enjoying food right now. Or they just, And it doesn't hinder where they go, what they do. Yeah, I agree. And it's also just shows a maturity as well. And it doesn't mean they're going to stay that way. But there is, there is a, it's an aging thing that I like.

Yeah. I'm not, I can't see myself with someone in their early 20s. Can you see yourself with someone who's like super healthy? Like eat salads, works out, doesn't smoke eggs. No. No. No. No.

I can't. I mean, I do. You can go to the gym, but I'd rather you, you know, like pick up some furniture or climatry, you know, that's where I want your body to come from, you know, like, the muscles are difficult for me. What are you watching on TV? Are you watching any reality shows, any Bravo? What do you watch? TCM. What's that? Tana Classic movies. It's on Channel 30, too. You watch? I watch cable. I do. I do. I keep it on all day, but then I have the app as well. So I just. It's not good. It's not professional. It's not good. It's like being a writer who doesn't read. But or being a writer who only reads like Victorian novels. So I need to catch up. God, wait. I know I'm

going to leave here and go, I've got, I've got one. More of the dudes for the list. Yeah, yeah. I'll figure it out. Okay. These are really good list. But everyone, go watch City on Fire on Apple TV. It's really good. Thank you for coming on. Yeah. Fucking honor for me, honestly. And I just want to tell people how this happened. It was so Jemima because I never do this, but I just for some reason assumed that like you wouldn't see if you got like an incoming request or something. So out of nowhere, I just commented on one of your posts like, come in my show. And you were like, what the fuck is this? I was like, it's a podcast. You're like, I know. I'm like, okay. And I was like, this is perfect. This is exactly how I would want it to happen. So thank you. You're welcome.

You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening. And I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.