Not Skinny But Not Fat - Jen Affleck: Mormon Wives, DWTS, & Meeting Ben Affleck

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Jen Affleck is here! We discuss filming  The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and what it’s like being on reality TV at your absolute lowest.  She opens up about the rumors she almost didn’t return for season 3 & the toll filming has taken on her marriage. Jen also joining Dancing With the Stars just two months postpartum and the reality of training while adjusting to life with a newborn. We dive into her upbringing as a Latina in the Mormon community, the challenges in her marriage, mental health struggles, and of course the Ben Affleck confusion that landed her a huge gig!This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Let OLLY support you & your crew this season. Shop at OLLY.com or retailers nationwide.Do what I did, order Magnetic Me today to make changing time easier for you and your little one. And these make a great gift for friends or family with babies, too! New customers get 15% off your first order when you go to MagneticMe.com.Get TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS OFF off your first purchase when you go to TheRealReal.com/notskinny. URL must be lower case.Keep it classic and cozy this fall cool—with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to Quince.com/notskinny for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Visit CleanSimpleEats.com - https://glnk.io/73q00/NOTSKINNY20 - and use code NOTSKINNY20 at checkout for 20% off your FIRST order PLUS free shipping.To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/NOTSKINNY.Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/notskinny. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hi, everybody. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to a new episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat.

How are you? I miss you. I love you. I feel like this summer has been a non-summer for me. Like, I don't think I have a tan line. I don't know what I was up to. I forgot to go outside. Actually, like, it has been really perfect weather in New York to, like, walk around and not

necessarily tan. I love New York. What can I say? One of the biggest questions I get is like, are you going to move? You have two kids. Are you going to leave the city? You're going to leave the city. And like, no, I don't want to.

Don't make me. I just really, truly don't see myself anywhere else. That is the truth. I don't. If I saw myself somewhere else, I would entertain that. I really want a house, but I don't want it to be in the suburbs. I'm also a hate, I hate commuting. So like if I had to commute from the suburbs to the city for like my interviews, events, meetings, I would be annoying more than I already am.

So it's just not on the cars right now. And you know what? I will blow where the wind takes me. And if I end up blowing over towards a suburb one day because of X, Y, and Z, then I'll blow over. You know what I mean? What podcast guest did I have recently that was saying that like? Oh, Brooks Nader, she fucking cracked me up. Like, by the way, I have to say, I literally just don't know how to drink from a straw.

I have to say, she is so polarizing. Like, it's either people were like obsessed with the episode, obsessed with the show, or people like I'm mad at me for liking her. Like, you know, why are you liking this, like, kind of person or this trashy show or whatever? And I'm like, I am obsessed and I just, I just feel like it's such a social experience. And so interesting how, like, even though Zempic thing where she was doing too much or taking too much and the sisters had to do an intervention, this is unlove thineater, if you haven't watched, I was wondering like, how isn't the world mad about this? Like, how aren't they? Are people not rioting and being like, she's skinny? Why is she taking it? And it's like, you know, why? Because she was motherfucking honest. And when somebody is honest, we've got nothing to say. What are we going to be like? It's fucked up that she told the truth. about what she's doing and explain why and you know what I mean like no one was mad and no one was writing hit pieces and I hadn't seen green screens like fucking hating on her because she was

honest about it she wasn't like I'm enjoying this this is great I'm trying to sell it to you she was like I feel like I have to do this to keep up because I'm being told that I was told to like change things about me you know I just appreciate fucking honesty and I feel like they all have that vibe of like yeah we want to be famous and we're going to do whatever the fuck it takes you know what i mean whereas other people are like oh i'm on this reality show but i haven't even watched an episode before how many people on reality shows have you seen saying they haven't watched the show before they don't even know that bullshit bullshit anyway huge news this week screamworthy news this week sean white and nina do brev call off engagement also for me it was

like whoa because i had interviewed julian last week julian huff who like they had been friends for years. I don't know where their friendship stands now. She did say in the episode that they're still friends, but I was like, but not like you used to be right, because you used to be your really bests. I also asked if she was going to be in the wedding.

She said she doesn't know yet. She did give their names as like a Hollywood friend that she thinks would be great on dancing with the stars. So interesting, timing. And I think obviously, by the way, this all came about, something big happened. Like cheating, cold feet.

I am hearing, though, I'm getting a lot of messages being like, well, they're swingers. So like, why would it be like, you know, I feel like there were kind of rumors that they were either swingers or in an open relationship or added people to the bedroom or whatever. So maybe one person was like, that's it. Once we get married, it's not happening. Or there was some sort of like extra emotional affair or who knows. But I think it just taught us one thing and that it's like just because a couple does cute. TikToks, don't mean, don't mean anything. Obviously, wish them well, hope they're okay.

It's crazy that Nina actually did this TikTok where she was like, it was like a man TikTok, like a, you can't control your man, TikTok, six days ago. And we didn't even think of it just because TikTok is so lip-sinky. We're like, oh, she's lip-syncing it doesn't mean anything. Nope, she was hinting. Her eyes looked a little teary and puffy. Anyway, moving on to today's guest on the pod. We've got Jennifer Affleck.

Yes, Ben Affleck's first cousin. No, I'm just kidding. The breakout star of Mormon Wives, who's about to be on Dancing with the Stars against her castmate. Whitney, like Julianne said, they're apparently friendly about it. They're not being too competitive.

I will believe it when I see it. And when the third season comes out, because who knows what drama is going to go down. We also have Taylor Frankie Paul as the new Bachelorette. I mean, this show was worthwhile. I mean, it's like a stepping stone to new and exciting freaking things. So take note, guys, if you want to like bounce around reality shows, go in a Hulu show because then you can go in like an ABC show.

Be smart about it. Anyway, Jen Affleck is here. She is lovely. She is sweet and adorable. She's doing so much better mentally. We talk about her mental health. and everything that happened. We also have exciting news where he and Ben Affleck,

which, like, shocked and is so genius. And I love it. She actually met him. And there's a whole story behind it. So stay tuned to my conversation with Jennifer Affleck from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I am so happy to see you, Jen, so happy to see you. And I'm so happy to see that you're, like, thriving. Thank you.

Because the last time I saw you on the screen. Yeah. Like, whoa, that just shows you guys, like, I feel like it can really inspire people. Like, you could be at a sort of rock bottom situation. And then you could, when was that filmed? When were those moments filmed when we saw you really struggling? That was a year ago. Yeah.

That was a year ago. Yeah. We see you struggling on season two of your show. Yes. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. We saw you really struggling. Yes. This was real.

wasn't like, oh, I'm ancient. It was real. And it was also hard for me to watch back because I'm naturally not a sad person. Like, I'm naturally a very, very, I've always been very happy, very, in fact, to a default, almost like she's too happy. Why is she too happy? And so, you know, if I'm sad, it's because I'm really sad, because it's just naturally not who I am. I, throughout life, I've always been able to see, like, the bright side of everything. But, yeah, that was just not the case for me last year. It really took a toll on me. And, I mean, you clearly see it in season two. Was it the pregnancy, the hormones? Was it? That had a lot to do with it. That had a lot to do with it. Everything that happened in season one and then everything with my marriage,

it just, it all happened at once. And then we started filming season two. And then I was isolated. I was isolated from everyone, and I... When you moved to Arizona, do you mean? Well, just isolated. Because people were in. When I was going through my marital issues, I just was isolated naturally. Yeah. And not a lot of people were supportive of me fighting for my marriage.

And I was, yeah, I was just in a very lonely and confused place. And finding out that when I did find out I was pregnant, that just added to everything. Yeah, I was like, how am I going to deal with this right now with everything else? And then the hormones, prenatal depression, I mean, it was just so much all at once and it became too much. It became too much. At the point where I was like, I was like, I need help. Yeah. I actually need help. And yeah. Did you get, you got help? I got a lot of help. When you were pregnant, you got therapy. Oh my gosh. Yes. It was the first time in my whole life that I actually honestly put myself first and like asked for help because I don't know if you know this but I was

raised with foster kids shared my bedroom my whole life like literally had a bunk bed shared my bedroom and my whole life I was just focused on those around me because there was I had siblings that were going through things that I had never gone through so growing up I didn't really feel like I had any reason to complain. And so this is the first time where I was like, no, I need help. And it's okay. Was it the first time you had any mental health issues? No.

I have struggled a lot my whole life, but I never took time to recognize it because I didn't feel like I could. I mean, I had siblings, when I say siblings, foster siblings. So to clarify your your biological. mother took in foster kids. Yes. How many at a time? Anywhere from like two to five.

I mean, I've had over 20 foster siblings. Yeah. And do you, are you in touch with them? No, for the most part. For the most part, no. But at the time when they were in your home, you were like really connected. Yes. And do you have siblings?

Like, yes, I have two biological and then two adopted. And so, yeah, growing up, I didn't really feel like I could complain because I'm like, oh, these kids have it way worse than me. Why am I complaining? which taught me a lot of valuable lessons, but then when this situation came up, I didn't know how to ask for help because I had never asked for help. Or like, what's going on? What do I do?

And, yeah, I dealt with postpartum depression, also prenatal depression with my other kids, but I didn't really know what it was. So I kind of just went through that alone and just kind of dealt with it. And it went away on its own, too, the first time? Yes. And this time, did you, can I ask if you took any medication? Were you? No, I didn't take it.

Well, I couldn't. I was pregnant. I mean, so that's. I will say, I have talked about this before, like you can. Yes, you can. Like, not me a doctor, but. Yes, you can. A lot of times you can if it's really bad.

So you got through that without any medication. Yes. Oh, damn. A lot of therapy. Wow. Yes. And it helped you, like, also feel better, like. Oh, yeah.

Get out of bed. Oh, well, yeah, I took a village getting me out of. Like, it was really, really hard. It's still hard for me to talk about, to be honest. Yeah, because it was, we saw something very raw and real on there. Like, it was, especially I think people, like, I've experienced anxiety. So, you know, people that know what it's like to be struggling to see you. It's like a moment where you just know, like reality to be, not reality TV.

You're like, this is a real moment. And this girl is really struggling. And she's on TV. And she's in this, like, icky. Like, it's like one of those moments that puts everything in perspective. Yeah. And I remember I had Whitney on and I, and I will even as a fellow like, you know, a struggler with mental health issues, like her being there for you when nobody else

was, to me, like she got points. You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. Like her checking in on you. And did you feel that way as well? Yes. At that time, she was the only. At that time?

Are we clarifying? At that time, she was the only person I had. So, yes, it was very, very comforting. But what do you think? Why are you laughing? Oh, because it's not, the friendship isn't thriving right now. No, it is. You know, we've gotten closer.

There's been a ton of ups and downs and you'll see in season three what I'm talking about. Well, the tease? Yes. The tease. It's just, yes. You'll see. There is more. Well, I'm so glad that you're doing so much better.

I mean, look at art. You look amazing. Thank you. You're glowing. You got that new mama. Your sweet baby is here. Oh, my God. Yes. Only what, is it three months? Three months? She is two months. Two months. And she traveled with you to New York. You're a brunette now. Yes, I'm brunette. Yep. By the way. Back to my roots. By the way. Amazing on you.

Thank you. It's so good. On the show, was it like blonde highlights? Yes. Okay. This is it. This is it. This is it. And is it Jesse extensions? It is all Jay Z styles. Here. Oh, you're representing. Yes. By the way, you guys, you know that Jen is only 26. I'm 26, yes. Three kids. Yes. When did you have your first kid? 21? Yeah. Wild. Yes. Did you always know you were going to be a young mom? No. No. No. It just kind of happened. And I, I've loved every second of it. So are you done? No. You're not. Oh, my God. You know, everyone's telling me to be done. Yeah. But like, I feel. feel like there's one more. Really? Yes.

But I should probably wait for a while. I mean, listen, I don't know how one becomes a mom at 21 because I don't know where I was a 21, but I'm also like, wow, having three kids at 26 and like now you just get to be hot, you know? That's the key. That's the key. No, there is something. There's something to that and there's something to the others out of it.

Exactly. The fact that you have a two-month-old and you're saying that maybe you'll have another one, means that you will. Because usually when you're two months postpartum, you can't even fucking think about it. So tell us your secrets. How are you thriving right now at two months postpartum? You know what? The key is filling your cup. Filling your cup. And I'm doing that through working. And yeah, I've realized you can't pour from an empty cup. And I think that's what happens to a lot of moms is they have nothing left. And so motherhood becomes too much. But I find when you're taking care of yourself and when you have your own outlet, and for me right

now, it's Dancing with the Stars. Jen is going to be on Dancing with the Stars, September 16th, this is the first episode. We were talking before you, before we really got into it. Because I was like, wait, didn't I see you posting like super pregnant with Ezra? It looked like you were in a studio. And I started sending it to people being like, is the cast announced? And they were like, no, like, we don't know what this is. And you're saying, no, you were just manifesting Ezra as a friend.

friend. Yep. Always manifesting. That's what you want to dancing with the stars. Yes. I grew up watching Dancing with the Stars my whole life. And so when I entered the reality TV world, I was like, I've got to do it. I've got to do dancing to stars. It's all I want to do. Really? And yeah. How else did you manifest it? Like, okay, you're friends with Ezra. You're on a reality show. Do you like tell your management? Yes. Right after season one, right after we finished filming season one, I told my manager, I was like, I just want to just even go. I just want to. I just want to. want to see it. It's okay if they don't invite me on. I just want to go. So I got invited on. And then once I went to the show for the first time, I was like, you mean watch it as a, okay.

Yes. I was like, I have to figure out how to get on. Do you dance? Like, do you have any dance background? No, I have no dance background. So your obsession with getting on was just like, no. So I grew up dancing. Okay. Being Latina, like, it's just like part of my culture. And so I've always loved dancing but yeah never took any lessons just i've always done it out of just loving it and having fun wait are you guys competitive you and whitney right now um like how does it where you're okay don't lie to me jen yes if i'm on a reality show and my dream is to go on dancing with the stars next i would be like but i want to be like the only one from my reality show it hasn't been that way no no if anything i think it's going to make the season even more like legendary okay

And it's honestly nice having someone who just gets it. Like, who's a mom who has three kids, who loves to dance. And I know this is like a dream of hers too. So I'm like, I'm just happy for her. Do you think she feels the same way about you being on? I think so. Yeah? I think so.

I don't know. Who do you think is going to get further? Ah, I guess we'll have to see. I don't know. She's an amazing dancer. I mean, she is an actual dancer. I mean, she has a degree in dance. Oh, I didn't know that.

She's an actual professional. Like, she studied dance. And she post. are you doing as much tic-tac dancing as she is? No, you're not. Unfortunately, I don't have time. The three babies. Yeah.

And, like, at the end of the day, like, what's most important to me are my kids. And so they come first. So the content has been lacking lately. Okay, yeah. But it's okay. We'll get to it. But you're going to be posting, you know, the dancing with the star is, like, once you're on it, you're going to be posting tons of fucking content.

Oh, I know. How does your hubby feel about it? Oh, he is just ecstatic. He knows this has been a dream of mine. And because I went through so much last year, I think he's just happy to see me happy. And what's going to be with the living situation in L.A. and stuff, is everyone moving with you?

Yes, I have a whole village in L.A. I have my nanny, my assistant. I have my mom flying down each week. I mean, I have everyone helping me and supporting me in this dream of mine, which I feel so lucky and just, yeah, I feel really grateful. Do you think you might stay there or, like, I don't know. I got on, I'm kind of loving it. I'm like, I'm kind of loving it. I had a feeling. I was like, she's going to love it. Also, the season three of sister wives has been announced for November. Hey. You guys, very exciting. Are you done filming for that or are you still, you're done filming for that? How is that? Can you give us any? Yes. Season three has been the best season for me so far. For you? Yes. I feel like people are finally going to see a different side of me, which is actually the, like the real version of me.

I feel like everyone has only seen like the depressing side, which, so yeah, I'm excited for people to see. Right, because season one, the whole Chippendale's drama. Season two, you're going through this. So now this is going to be like. Light at the end of the tunnel. Driving, driving Jen. I'm not fully there, but you'll see me slowly.

Starting to get there. Yes. So who's going to be in the hot seat this season? Oh, you're just. have to wait and see. I would say it's definitely a lot of, I'll just, you'll just have to see season three. And Taylor saw has a new boyfriend. It just popped up from yesterday.

People caught on the internet. Do you know him? Have you met him? No. I don't know who he is. Anything about him. So you saw it on the internet like everybody else? Yes.

I'm like, who is this person? Did you text or did you ask? To be honest, I'm like, I can't keep up. Like, a new thing happens every single week. So I'm like, you know what? We're just going to wait until this plays out before we get too invested. You're like, I need to see that it'll stick to care. Yes.

There were some rumors that you might not be returning after season two. Were those just rumors that people think you wouldn't because we saw you struggling? I'm sure. I'm sure. But yeah, no, I'm. There were no. I'm, yep. We'll be right back after the break.

Today's episode is sponsored by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. In today's world, we insure everything. cars, homes, cell phones, travel plans. But what about insurance for your cat or dog? With ASPCA pet health insurance, you can focus on the care your pet deserves and cover what matters most. You really want to make sure in today's day and age,

and especially when there's so much unpredictable stuff happening, and your pet matters most to you, that you have pet health insurance because bills can add up, especially for pets, and you really want to make sure you have covers. The ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program offers customizable accident and illness plans, making it easier for pet parents like you to help get your pet the care that they may need. The ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program has been around for over 18 years,

and they've helped more than 600,000 pets during that time. They allow you to customize your plan, helping ensure that your pet's plan is as unique as they are. Vet bills really add up, especially when you're least expecting it. It's simple. You use their app and submit a claim, and you'll receive reimbursement for eligible vet bills directly into your bank account. To explore coverage, visit ASPCA petinsurance.com slash not skinny. That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash not skinny. Again, that's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash not skinny.

This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTC Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. You've probably heard of build where you can earn points on your monthly rent payment, but do you know they make it possible for you to get more outside of your home too? First of all, the fact that this is a program that finally makes paying rent rewarding is crazy and needs to be talked about more.

Every month, we hand over this giant check to our landlord and it usually feels like the money is just disappearing into a black hole. But with bills, you actually earn points for paying rent. And these aren't random useless points. You can redeem them for travel, on top airlines, hotels, fitness classes, and even for Amazon and lift rides. You can even put them back toward future rent payments or a down payment on a home. The best part, you don't have to change how you pay rent.

You just link your bank account to the built app, pay your rent like you normally do, and the points start stacking up. If you're paying rent every month without earning anything in return, let me introduce you to Bilt. It's a rewards program designed for renters who want to earn something for their largest monthly expense. Built is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. But what's really important to Bilt and what they're really working on now is making

your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants. and earn points there get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios and enjoy exclusive experiences just for built members every month earn points on rent and around your neighborhood wherever you call home by going to join built dot com slash not skinny that's join built dot com slash not skinny as you guys know i've been on a health and wellness journey um you know having a second kid makes an impact takes a toll on your body and you have to make some changes and really get yourself, get yourself into a groove of exercise and eating well.

And part of the eating well that changed for me is really adding protein to my diet. I feel like really before it sounds crazy to think about, but I would eat three meals a day. And sometimes none of them would have protein. Now I make sure every meal has some sort of protein in it. And like right this second, like that I was sipping on something, I'm drinking. A protein smoothie. Yes, that means I use protein powder in a smoothie to get 20 grams of protein. And a protein powder that I really, really like is clean, simple eats.

They have so many different flavors to choose from. Like right now I'm drinking the vanilla, but I love the chocolate brownie, especially to use just in like a hot chocolate moment. Like I just put that in. I put hot water. I mix it with a frother. So good. You're going to thank me later, especially for like a late night sweet tooth.

amazing. With this protein powder, you get 20 grams of protein. Also, clean simple eats is always grass fed, no seed oils, no artificial ingredient, third-party tested, non-GMO, and gluten-free. So, obviously, I'm obsessed. Visit clean, simpleeats.com. Use my code not skinny 20 at checkout for 20% off your first order plus free shipping. That's clean, simpleeats.com. Code is not skinny 20 for 20% off your first order plus free shipping. Link is also in the show notes. And we're back. What do you think is the most misunderstood from your cast? Misunderstood. I would say honestly myself, watching back season one and season two, I know a lot of people were saying, oh, she's a pathological liar. She's all of these things. Wait, because of the Affleck thing? Yes. Okay, let's talk about that for a moment. I know you're so

sick of it. But tell me about this, because people listening know, you were saying on season one, maybe season two, I can't remember, that your husband's family is related to Ben Affleck. Yes. Why did, then it turned out to be not, Zach said it's not true. Yes. Okay. Do you feel like Zach, were you mad at Zach for throwing you under the bus with that? Yes. Okay. Absolutely. But to be honest, I kind of took one for the team because I think, yeah,

I think he's been thrown under the puzzle of. So, but that was. But did he do that? Was it like a gotcha moment? No, I, it genuinely was told to him and his, like, all of his siblings by his grandpa. Like, that was a real thing. Everyone believed it. And so we're still like, we'd love to.

Honestly, we've talked about it. We're like, we need to have a conversation with your grandpa. If it's true or not. Of, like, where he got this information from or like, because it was like literally like. But Zach didn't say that. Zach was like, no, I told her that it wasn't true. I think that's when he realized, like, maybe this isn't true. And he's like, like, it was mentioned as a joke because they never actually, I mean,

they never met him. Right. Technically, they don't really know. But it was mentioned to him. Yeah. And it was always like a lighthearted thing. Then fans took it. And then I shared it because I was like, yeah, I'm related to Ben Affleck.

But he was like, wait a second. Sure about that. Didn't realize this would ever get out to, like, public the whole world, you know? Wait, did Ben Affleck ever comment on this? I've talked to him. Wait, what do you mean? When have you talked to him? So I got Aspey on a Dunkin, or I got the opportunity to be on a Dunkin' Donuts commercial with Ben Affleck.

That is some good marketing. No fucking way. Yes. And, yeah, so I met him. It's the concept. Well, see, good shit comes out of dumb shit. Absolutely. Like you said you were related to Ben Affleck.

Yeah. I rolled with it and I'm a. They roasted you for being a pathological liar. And you're fucking a Dunkin' Donuts commercial with him. I know. It's crazy. Life is crazy. So did you mention that?

Did he mention that? It was very lighthearted. We just like laughed about it. I met his daughter. His daughter came with her best friend. She loves the show. Huge fan. And she was like, I don't care.

She's like, I don't care if we're not related. We are related. I was like, great. You're like, that's what I've been telling the world. I was like, perfect. I love this. We're related. I'm upset.

Yeah, and he was like, thank you for doing this. I'm like, what do you mean? Thank you for doing this. I'm like, we're family. We're family. I know. I'm like, what do you mean? We're family.

Just kidding. That is so, that is not where I expected this story to go. Yes. That is amazing. Yes. And you still haven't gotten to the bottom of this, of the... Technically, I mean, people have done the research

and have done, like... When you say people, you mean crazy fans? People randomly, like... Took your DNA, went to the lab. I don't know. But apparently people know that, yeah. So you laughed this off with Ben Affleck. Yep.

Fucking, that's what you call, like, laughing all the way to the bank. And whether the bank is the money or the bank is just success and experiences, like, again, such a silly moment. You get roasted and you get asked to do this thing. It's so funny because so many people are like, she's so calculated. I'm like, no, it's me not being calculated is what gets me in trouble.

I'm like, and what leads to crazy stuff like this? I'm like, don't you think like if that's the worst people are saying about you calculated, like you'll take it? I'll take it. Yeah. Fine. Calculated. Fine. I'm like, okay.

That's not a bad thing. I met Ben Affleck. You met him. We're family. When you got that call, what did that feel like? Were you like, excuse me what? My manager called me and I literally like passed out. And I was with my mom.

My mom's a huge fan of that. Yeah. Did you bring her to the? No, she wasn't able to come. But yeah, no. She was like, my mom couldn't believe it. Like literally like we were just done. Wait, what does Zach's family say after this whole?

I mean, I think it's so funny. Yeah? They think it's hilarious. Like, we all just think it's hilarious now. That is amazing. I am obsessed. Yes. So happy for you and can't wait for this to come out.

Back to the season one, Chippendales thing, which literally was stretched out, stretched over, will this be addressed again in season three? Like, does it end? Have we gotten closure of the Chippendales, the rage tech? It ends. Did it rock my world and put me through a lot of things? Yes. But in return, like, we're stronger than ever. And I think if our stuff wasn't exposed, I don't know if we would have gone to the extent of getting as much help as we did get. So did people judge you for fighting for your marriage? Yes. Yes. People have judged me for not fighting enough, fighting for it. Yeah. At one point wanting to get a divorce, not getting a divorce. I mean, everyone has their opinions. But at the end of the day, I'm going to do what I feel is best for me because it's my life. And, you know, like, I have to live with myself and my decisions. And I think I made the right decision. So the ketamine therapy got you there? Yes, definitely did. Tell me about this. Like, for me, it gives me anxiety. Just thinking about doing this thing for hours upon hours and talking and then doing more. I mean, I know it's super

controlled. I know it's the whole thing. But tell me a little bit about it because I know you're saying it really helped you guys. Yes. So I actually didn't want to do it at first. It was more Zach. Zach after season one was like, I mean, he saw, you know, he kind of reflected and took a hard look in the mirror and was like, I need to make some changes. And so it was him who wanted to do ketamine. And because he was doing it, I was like, well, I might as well just try it. And yeah, it's, it's changed my life for sure. Yeah. How often do you have to do it to like? So I haven't done it since I, since before I found out I was pregnant and you can't do it while you're breastfeeding. But I, yeah, no, it just gave me a bigger perspective on life. And maybe.

made me look at the bigger picture and reset a lot of things for me to, to start therapy in the most productive way. And this is with him, too, right? Yes. We're doing it together. I feel like that's, like, so exposing. Because if you're on this, like, I don't know what it makes you feel, but can you explain like, are you like, are you like, are you there?

Are you present? Like, what's happening? I don't even know how to explain it, but you're able to talk through things with the person. No, you can't. While you're under, you're under. And I forget what the method is called, but I didn't do the IV. I did the shot. Okay.

And basically with the IV, it's controlled how much is put in you. But like with the shot, there is once you're under, you're under. Okay. And you're kind of just like. Elucinating vibes? Yes. Yes. Yes.

And it's scary. It's scary at first. But if you kind of just embrace what's happening, embrace the journey. so much can come from it. I had multiple just, like, visions that till this day, I still look back on that have helped me. Really? Yeah.

So if it's couples therapy, it means you're doing it, he's doing, and then what? You come together after? Yes, after. Yes. Loreday. And this is like a day. So, like, the kids are with a nan, like, this is a day that you need to really. A whole day.

It was hard, though, too, because, like, it's not just like, oh, woo-woo, like, you know, we're doing drugs. You know, this is all, like, fun and all. No, it's, like, actually hard because, like, it forces you to confront your trauma. It forces you to really just let it all out. So, wait, and remind me, Jen, like, your relationship with Mormonism. Where is your family from? So, my mom is from Ecuador.

Okay. And my mom's a convert. So my mom converted to the church in her 20s, moved to America, and then met my dad. Wait, she was in Ecuador. Ecuador. So where did she meet him? Where did she meet your dad? BYU. Oh, okay. Yes. Do a lot of Mormon couples meet there and like get married? Oh yeah. Okay. That's the spot. The promised land. That's the problem. But not for you. That wasn't the promised land for you. Well, technically, I mean, my husband was going to BYU when I met him. Yeah. And we met through a Mormon dating app. So technically,

what's the Mormon dating app called? Mutual. Mutual? Yeah. Okay. Cute. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, Cute. You're like, cute. No, because it's not like a super Mormony name. It's like a mutual. But it's really funny. Like if you go on there. When you match with someone, it'll say like where they served a mission. Like. So what if you didn't? It's like N.A? If you're, yeah, if you're like, you'll always see it. I feel like if you haven't served a mission, you probably won't be on mutual. You'll be on like Bumble. You said you didn't serve a mission. No, but for girls it's not like. Oh, guys do it. Okay, okay, these are things I don't know. Girls can, but it's not an obligation. Oh, I see, for guys, it's an obligation. Got you.

Yeah, it's very much expected. He actually served in the same area as my dad. My dad also served in Santo Domingo, what's it called? Santo Domingo Dominican Republic. Oh, really? They both served the exact same mission. In fact, that's what caught my eye on mutual. I was like, oh, my gosh, she served the exact same mission as my dad.

My dad also got the Latina fever. So it was perfect. It was perfect. We'll be right back after the break. Buying your baby or your toddler clothes is one of the most fun things as a new parent, as a second time or a third time parent, because there's nothing like dressing them in a new set and just watching them look so adorable. I love it.

One of my favorite brands to dress them in is Magnetic Me. And not only because they have such cute print. that they're so comfortable, so silky smooth, so everything, they also are made with magnets. Meaning, if you're getting those PJs or footsies, onesies, whatever you want to call them, that you have to snap, like are we in 1985? No, we are not.

Zippers can also get really messy, like late at night diaper changes. You're zipping up, you're zipping down, you're whipping out a leg, you're scared you're going to zip up on their private parts. It's like a lot is going on. And that's why I love Magnetic Me. It saves so much time. You can really make the changing time a breeze.

This is a game changer, okay, when you're waking up for a midnight feed or diaper change. This is also a great gift. Any friend would love to get something like this for their kit. You know, no zippers, no buttons. Even with the fuzziest baby, you can get them dressed in no time with Magnetic Me. Like I said, they also have such fun prints. They really have amazing collections and matching sets for the family. If you haven't ordered Magnetic Me yet, now is the time.

I know you'll love these guys. If you're a parent or shopping for one, go now to MagneticMe.com and new customers will get 15% off. Don't wait. That's MagneticMe.com. Yes, you guys, we're in back to school mode. I mean, I don't know about you, but we might need to start setting alarm clocks around here. I mean, most of you said that you already do that. that's to scratch that.

But I'm just so used to my kids waking up early and waking me up. But Noah lately, I don't know, is he a teenager? He's like waking up later. I'm like waking him up for school. We're like getting dressed out the door. He's barely eating breakfast. Like those movies where you're like a parent throws a waffle like a frisbee through the air. Like I don't know what's happening in our household right now.

We need to get into a back to school group because there are schedules. There is long lists of to do's. And if there is one thing, I want to just know that it's taken. care of is wellness. And that's where Ali comes in. Ali is the number one kid supplement brand that offers effortless solutions for your family for everything. There's a kid's multi-plus probiotic. It's tasty. Kids love it. There's kids sleep if you have bedtime issues. Make bedtime breeze with the kids sleep. It's really gentle support to help them rest. Ali also has your back with multivitamins that provide

key nutrients for your immune system because all those back-to-school germs are going to creepy crawley into our immune system. Gotta strengthen that immune system with multivitamins from Ali. Need help shutting it down at night because the adrenaline is skyrocketing. Sleep gummies. They help you rest peacefully. Let Ali support you and your crew this season. Shop at Ollie.com or retailers nationwide.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. this product is not intended to diagnose street cure, prevent any disease. This episode is brought to you by The Real Real. My absolute favorite way to shop luxury for less. You know that I love a deal. I could be a frug, but I also love a designer moment. And The Real Real is where both meet. They have everything from Gucci bags to product heels,

even Cartier jewelry, all authenticated by experts. So you know, it's the real deal. Literally, I scroll for Real Real, like, fun. It's like, you know how you open apps like Instagram, Facebook once every two years, your mail app. And then I go on the real real to see, like, I'm going to find something absolutely insane right now. Because new arrivals drop every day. So it's literally like a treasure hunt. Like you can score things. You never thought you could afford. Nothing beats when somebody compliments your bag and you know you got it for half the price. And if you're like me, then you

say that you got it for half the price because you can't help yourself. So, Whether you're looking to refresh your fall wardrobe, finally grab that designer piece you've been eyeing, or even co-sign some of your own items for cash, the Real Real Makes it easy. The Real Real Real is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale.

With thousands of new arrivals daily, no one does resale like The Real Real. Now, get $25 off your first purchase when you go to the Real.com slash not skinny. That's the real, real.com slash not skinny. The real. dot com slash not skinny to get $25 off. Start shopping at the real real.com slash not skinny.

URL must be all lowercase. You guys know that I'm obsessed with finding those things that look expensive, but don't actually cost my entire life savings. That's why I love quince so much. They do luxury basics. They do washable silk. They do Mongolian cashmere. European linen and all it prices that make you go how like I don't get it this is how they cut out

the middleman okay I've been living in quince I actually just got these like clogs that are super cute actually just link them on my Instagram and so freaking comfortable it's called the water repellent suede clog mule and it's 69 99 and I got the color dune if you want to look like a girl who just threw this on but secretly has her like life together. Quince is it, you guys. And I literally get so many messages, like, thanks for turning me onto Quince. I'm now shopping there. I got my luggage from there. A follower just told me she bought, like, beding from there because I told you I bought, like, my actual physical bed, like anything that is out there that costs a lot of money and you want

to check if Quince has the same thing, but for cheaper, like, go. Go to Quince. Okay. Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash not skinny for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash not skinny to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash not skinny. And we're back. I think you've spoken about this a little bit on the show, but maybe you didn't go into it in depth. How was Zach's family accepting you into the family?

You know what? When I first started dating him, it was a little rough just because I'm just so different from his family. And so it was just like, I think differences are hard sometimes. I mean, I think that's just part of it, you know? Sometimes in-laws can be tough just because, like, you're just different. Yeah. And yeah, so it was rough ever. It was rough. It was rough. Especially because, like, I wasn't raised with a lot of money. I didn't have. the same opportunities that Zach had. And so, and dating him, I, a lot of the time, didn't feel enough for his family naturally, just because they're all very successful, like very driven, all of them. Like, I mean, his dad's a heart surgeon. He comes from a lot, a lot of money and a lot of successful people. So, like, going into marrying him, I just felt so different and had a place for a really long time.

But now what I've realized is like I have things that I can teach them and they have things that they can teach me and that's how I'm seeing it. Are you close with them now? Yes. Okay, great. Tell me about going into labor at the nail salon or kind of. You were on the floor there. Like what?

People connected to it. How did you have the contraction machine with you? So funny thing is that was a week before I had Penny. So that was actually false labor. Okay. That wasn't the real thing, but I actually thought I was in labor. In fact, that whole night I had contraction. That was like, this is it. I'm having a baby. That's why you were getting your nails then. I was like, it's go time. I was like, we need to switch the color. For good luck. I'm just kidding. And then you were feeling it there. Yes. And I called up my doula. I was like, I think this is it. And she was like, I don't think this is it. She's like, I don't think this is it. I need you to check like what I'm dilated at. And she walks in. She's like, do you want to go to the bathroom? Like, should we go? back to, like, my place. I was like, no, we can do it right here. She's like, are you crazy? Your doula checks your dilation. I didn't know that was one of her jobs. Really? Yes. Okay. Well, she's actually a midwife, too. Okay. Amazing. She could deliver the baby

she needed to. Yes. And so I was like, no, we're fine right here. Were you dilated? No. I was dilated at a two, I think. Okay. That's not not. So like, I'm like, maybe. Was it was a third delivery easier than the two? No. It's the hardest. Doesn't good. Really? Yes, because I went natural. So. What do you mean? No epidural? No epidural. Shut up. Yes. Why? I don't know why.

I'm just kidding. I'm like, now that I'm looking about it. Appendural's nice. Was it a decision or was it a... You know what? I went through so much through this pregnancy that I almost wanted it to be part of the experience. Like I would... Everything has been such a spiritual experience up to this point.

And so I thought, you know what? Like, I kind of want this to represent my whole pregnancy. Which was hard. Yeah. Yeah. Finish it off with a bang. Yeah. Wait, so hospital setting or did you do it?

Hospital. Okay, hospital, but no epidural. No epidural. The Ring of Fire. Something else. How long were you pushing for? Oh my gosh. I can't even remember.

Like, I literally, I was out of it the whole time. I'm not even kidding you. It was an all-day labor, like from morning till 1 a.m. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. That's insane. Yes. Yes. So did the decision to...

to deliver it. They don't like it being called naturally anymore. What do they, people have issues with everything now, but. I'm medicated. Right. And medicated. So was that a mid-pregnancy decision? Was it the day of? Like, did you know? Was it a- You know, I wasn't sure throughout my pregnancy. I was like, I don't know, especially because like I was so busy with therapy and like so many other things. I was like, I don't even know if I'm ready. It actually wasn't until like the last minute that I was like, I think I want to do natural and just like experience it and see what it's like, you know, I can't believe of you guys, because

as someone who gave birth with a pedural and I fucking was like in pain as fuck and like, it's so hard to imagine doing it and not just the pushing. I'm talking like the contractions. Oh yeah, I don't think I'll ever do it. You get the epidural for that too.

It's not like just for the pushing part. So I'm like, oh my God, I can't even imagine because at least when you're getting that padural, you know relief is coming. Yes. Here you're like, Like, no, like, you're left out to die. I don't, like, cuss a lot. Yeah, and you were cursing.

I was like, I literally was saying every word. Really? In the dictionary. I mean. I'm not even kidding you. But how are you, tell me the truth. Because my whole theory is people that do it like unmedicated, do it a little bit for the sense of like.

Oh, that was definitely part of it. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely empowering. Did you finish it and you were like, I am a super. I'm a badass. Every day I wake up, I'm like, oh, she's a badass. Did you give birth unmedicated? I was like, you didn't, but I did.

I'm just kidding. Yes. No, honestly, like, I also did it for the recovery because I knew I was going to do dancing with the stars quickly after. So I was really also focused on my recovery. But yeah, no, every time, even while doing rehearsals, I'm like, I have bruises all over my body. But every time I'm in pain, I'm like, I've done natural birth.

I can do anything. It is true. Wait, so how quick after giving birth did you start rehearsing? for dancing with the stars. So I just started this last week. So seven weeks after, yeah. How's that pelvic floor doing? It's doing great right now.

Yes, it's doing great. We'll see later. Just kidding. How's the practicing, the day's crazy? Like, give us a little. Oh, it is so crazy. Yeah? Like, it is actually hard.

Like, ballroom is actually like a sport. I'm not even kidding. I have bruises all over my body. Like, my body actually hurts. but I'm having so much fun while doing it. How many hours a day practicing is it? Right now it's five hours. Okay.

But they said later it will turn into eight and then longer. Yeah. Who's been giving you like tips backstage like anything that's been helpful? Everyone that I've talked to, any pro that's had a child, it's been great talking to them because they just get it. Yeah. But yeah, they just, I always ask them like, so do the bruises, like go away? Like, do you ever know? Like, do you ever stop being sore?

Why is it, though? Are you falling on the floor from, like, the lifts? Lips, lifts, all of the things. Lips, lips. Yes. And you're going to get even hotter. Like, you're already looking so amazing. Oh, you so nice.

But I, like, I feel like I would want to go on just to, like, get hot in the short amount of time. Everyone comes out of their rips. No, they really do. I know. I can see why now. Because you're working so hard. Yes, and there's no time. And are you going to be competitive?

Like, are you going to try to win this thing? I'm naturally not a competitive person, but if, If winning the mirror ball means that I get to stay out there longer and get more snatched, I'm just kidding. And get more snatched. Then? Then great. Then great. Tell me about the demi-drama from season two. I need to understand this season desist. Yes. Like from what I'm not. What was this whole thing? Yeah. So I didn't even understand what that was. I mean, I've never had that threatened to me, like, ever in my whole life. So I didn't even know what it meant when it was brought up to me. She never. served me, a cease and desist, which now I, and I realize that, but she did threaten.

Because you were talking about? A Vanderpunt Villa. The Marciano stuff. Yes. Where were you talking about it that she wanted to seize and desistia? Just that I was going to talk about it. She didn't want anyone to talk about it. But why you?

Because I was the only one willing to talk about it. I was the only one who wasn't bowing down to her at that time. And so that's why she went so hard at me Because she was like Deflecting which I'm like You know what? Like I don't even really care anymore Like at this point

I realize I don't have to do anything The truth will always come out Like yeah That's just how life works Especially in this industry with reality TV Do you have a secret? But have you kept your mouth You can't you didn't

I didn't Before Now at this point I'm just like This is your thing This is your thing if you want to come out about the truth, you can do that. If not, like, that's on you, you know? All I can control is what I'm doing and my truth and move forward with that.

Did you feel bad for all the hate that she was getting after season two? I do feel bad. I do feel bad now. I really do because it sucks being in the hot seat. It sucks being isolated. But at the same time, being in the hot seat also forces you to look in the mirror and take accountability, which I have. And which I'm grateful for.

Because if I wasn't in the hot seat, I don't know. know if I would have been able to see what I've done wrong. Yeah. But if anything, with her being in the hot seat, it's only made her double down even more. And so that's what's kind of like hard. Into like my villain era vibes. Yes, it's hard. It's hard because I'm like, I feel bad, but also like we would all be there, like,

rooting for you and supporting you if, you know. You would take accountability for stuff. Yes. Is it not terrifying to go on reality TV, expose. your relationships. I mean, everyone's taken ahead. Oh, yeah. Like, it is hard. It is. It is very hard for sure. But for me, I'd rather do the hard thing if it means becoming a better version of myself than hiding, which I do think a lot of Mormons do. Mormons hide a lot. Do they, how hard do they judge you girls for being on reality TV? I'm sure everyone's judging. And you know,

I really don't care. You don't care. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm like, okay, well, while you're yapping away and talking about my life, like, I'm becoming a better version of myself. So I don't really here. And you're becoming successful. Exactly. And I did a Dunkin' Donuts commercial with Ben Affleck. So like, hey, I did huge funny things this year. You pushed a baby out of your vagina without medication. And you met Ben Affleck. Yes. I experienced the ring of fire and I met Ben Affleck. Like, what more could you ask for? And she's on dancing with the SARS. And. season three of Secret Lives is coming out in November.

Yes. So so happy you were here, Jen. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having. Look fucking amazing. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat.

Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoochero. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.