Not Skinny But Not Fat - Jennie Garth’s First Love, Rock Bottom & Finding Her Strength

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

Jennie Garth is here! The way 90210 defined my childhood…this was more than nostalgic. We get into her new memoir I Choose Me and why she finally felt ready to share this version of herself. We go deep on 90210, from landing the role of Kelly Taylor, what that level of fame actually felt like, becoming a mom while filming, and how real life mirrored the drama on  screen. She opens up about her surprising real first love, losing 2 cast members, her struggles with anxiety and depression before anyone was talking about it, and what rock bottom and recovery looked like. We also talk the mindset shifts that helped her find clarity and actually choose herself.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episodeTo explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/NOTSKINNYGo to homechef.com/notskinny for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life!Text NOTSKINNY to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. Visit yasso.com/AMANDA to enter and upgrade your freezer! Find full giveaway details,rules, and regulations. Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purch necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: Yasso.com/AMANDAVisit us at samedelman.com to explore everything you need for spring and get 15% off with code NOTSKINNY15Go to quince.com/notskinny for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Gead to chime.com/NOTSKINNY and join the millions who are banking fee free today.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the not skinny bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hey, hey, hey, hey, happy Tuesday, everybody. How are you doing? I'm not great.

I'm not not great. I'm getting over my horrible night, which, it upsets me on a on a on a on a deep level my the night that I had because listen I really try okay I really try to eat healthy most of the time okay and then it's like okay I was having a little craving I had some healthier ice cream in my freezer and I went down I went down a pint and enjoyed every bite and I was like yeah that's what happened sometimes like sometimes you have a craving you give into it and do it but that was like 10 p.m. right? So then I didn't go to bed. Maybe, yeah, got into the bed situation 11. Couldn't fall asleep. Couldn't fall asleep. Probably I didn't want to look at my phone. Probably the like 1 a.m. I think like my body was like digesting that sugar or whatever. And then I finally fell asleep, woke up maybe 30 minutes after falling asleep, heart pounding on my chest, sweating through my pajamas and stomach just knots. Like not. Not.

not well. The gut wasn't well. Like felt like I had to poop. So I was like, and by the way, like I think I'm spoken about this before, but things like that that are like physical kind of different feelings like gives me anxiety. So then I get like anxiety on top of what I'm already physically dealing with. So then the heart is like beating even faster. And I'm kind of like, you know, like, because you wake up in a panic, I feel like when you wake up sweating and all those things. And I'm going to, I'm going to do an easy one plus one here and say like, it's because of the fucking ice cream that I ate that my body was processing that, I don't know, I don't, I'm not a scientist, but like sugar up, you know, dairy, all that. And it just sucks. I'm like, okay,

can I not? Like, I probably can, you know, on a don't take it too far level. I think a pint was too far from my body. It's so funny that those are my like wake up bad. Like it's not like a hangover. I really realized yesterday I went to do my annual. And she was like drinking and I was like, no. Like I used to be like one to two a week. Like I was still on the low end of drinking.

But now like drinking like I don't drink. It's not like a choice, but it's literally like unless I'm at an event and I'll like take a glass of champagne or go to dinner with friends, you know, or then yeah, I'll get like a glass of wine. But it's so not, well, it's definitely not a daily thing and it's barely a weekly thing. It's maybe like once a month kind of thing. So it should be really skinny is what you're saying.

I'm like, some people are drinking every day and they're like, they look hotter than me. Like, I just don't get it. Also, I went to sleep yesterday after with the ice cream regrets, which I feel like you guys are going to think I have an eating disorder now. But I had just talked in the DMs with somebody, somebody I followed that she's like trying peptides. And I literally had to ask you, Chad GPD, what are peptides? I know, that's how behind I am. And then it said, like, there's so, like, there's so many. So now, like, the weight loss ones go into the peptide category.

But also there's, like, peptides that are for aging and stuff like that. So I was like, should I be doing the peptides? Like, not the weight lost ones, but the other ones, but then I was like, wait, should I, if this girl who's three pounds, that girl's three pounds, told me she's on Zepbound, okay, for like the peptide world. I don't think she thinks she needs to lose weight. That would be crazy. But as part of like the peptide regimen of all the other peptides stuff. And I'm like, am I the only person on fucking planet Earth? Like, and I do think, you know, for me, it was like a, uh, when those Zempic stuff first started rolling around.

I think I was a little like judgmental about people taking it that didn't need it. And then I kind of was like, everybody to do what they want. Like my opinion did shift, you know, about it. And it's become so normalized. So obviously, like, my opinion. changed and like everyone I know is on it as well. So no judgment on my part. And also even in my mind, a daily question of like, why, why not me? Why not me? Why not me? Why am I the only person not on it? And I don't mean the only person doing it the right way because like I'm doing my

best. I'm like eating well and I'm like trying to work out. But your girl doesn't get down from a certain way. Like I feel like it's made for people like me, you know, like for like for like a Mindy Kaling and Oprah Winfrey. I'm not putting myself in the same category, like the same weight. I'm just saying like people that their whole lives like couldn't get past a certain weight no matter what they did kind of vibes. Which like Mindy Kaling, like her saying it was from hiking was like annoying. But like I totally understand why she would want to take it and why she like, you know, it was a good candidate for it. You know, I do think it was a while to come out with the swimsuit campaign right after.

and the article said, you know, I started hiking. That is wild. You don't know us anything, but don't fucking like taunt us like that. You know what I mean? So I'm just saying, like, if I ever tried it, I would tell you, don't you worry about it. And I would probably be nauseous and wake up sweating with my heart beating out of my chest just like yesterday. That made me realize that too. Like, that's because the girl that's so skinny that's doing it, she was like, how, like, not in a mean way, but she was like, you haven't tried.

And I was like, no. And I was like, I think it stems more for my engagement. anxiety because like side effects scare me. Like I'm scared to take a supplement. Okay. Anyway, let's get into our guest today because this was such a freaking exciting guest for me. Like, I mean, the nostalgia, the cult, I mean, it's not even culty because it's worldwide

sensation of a show in the 90s, like, obsessed with the 90s. The show curated my, my growing up, I was watching. watching it way too early. It is just a cultural, it's a monument of our culture. It's a cultural monument. It's a historical, historical show, okay? Like, I don't know what other words to use for this show. I'll just go, da-na-na-na-na-da-na-na-na-ch-ch.

Which, by the way, if you go listen to that intro right now and you don't get chills all over your body, then we're not the same. 90210, Beverly Hills, 902101. Anyway, Kelly Taylor, we all wanted to be her, dress like her, have two guys fight over us like her. And Jenny Garth, who played Kelly Taylor, is here today. I am so excited for you guys to hear this conversation. I listen to her book, I Choose Me, which was so good and so insightful.

And she's definitely not Kelly Taylor. She's very different than Kelly Taylor. So I loved getting to know her because I feel like, and I said this about the interview, drink every time I say it. I watched this show so young before I was like obviously reading tabloids because I was probably 11 or 10. So I was aware of the characters, right? We were all obsessed with Kelly Taylor or Brandon or or Brenda or Dylan, but we weren't aware of the actors like at our age, you know? and obviously later I knew them, but it just made it that much more special

to get to know her on a deeper level from her book and then in this interview. So enjoy. Yay! Hi. Jenny Garth is here. I've been listening to your voice for the past. Finish it pretty quick.

Your book. You listen to the audio. I listen to it. I'm an audio book, girly. How did I do? You did so good. You're just saying that. No, no.

I swear to God that you did so good that I was thinking like, I could, because I assume you record it on different days, no? And I'm like, how don't I feel like it's a different day? Oh, good, good. You know, because I feel like I would come in like raspy or one day or like, you know. And you had the same tone throughout the whole thing. Well, my director, you know, put me through the warm up.

What did you do? Like, uh, oh, yeah, or she sells seashells by the seashore. Oh, wow. This is a good one. Red leather. What is it? Red leather purple. Oh, yeah.

Red leather, purple leather. Red leather, purple leather. Why would we be so fucking about an audiobook? But I love when, because I listen to like novels and fiction as well, but I love when it's nonfiction and the author is narrating it, you know? Yeah. Because it really feels like you're just telling me your story. Right, right.

You know? Yeah. And I loved your book so much. Thank you. So your book, I Choose Me, Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose and Embracing Reinvention. This is your second memoir. It is, actually, my first, yes. My first was quite a while ago now.

And it just was, you know, a little lighter, a little bit more palpable, I think. This one's steeper and more, you know, I've lived a lot more life since that book. Right. That's what I was thinking when reading your book because, you know, a lot of people are writing books nowadays. Right. Almost everyone. Right. And I was like, here's a person that should be writing a book, you know, that has a story to tell.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And I feel like there's even some more that you could tell probably. Yeah. Right? For sure. There's more that I, there's a lot that I left out. Right.

That ended up, you know, getting edited out. I feel like I have another book in me for sure. You do. Right. What made you write another one now, like this timing? Wow, that's a good question. Why not? Is the answer? I had the opportunity and I love when a door opens. I don't ever, you know, not at least peek around the corner and see what's in there. So I also kind of came to this place in my life in my 50s. You get a different perspective on things. And all the work that I've done, my personal work that I've done and my journey sort of reached a point where I felt like, oh my gosh, I've learned so much. I want to share this with other people. And my parents are both educators. So I think it's just kind of in my blood to want to help people. Yeah, like teach what I've learned.

Like I shouldn't just keep it to myself. It's not really doing anybody else any good. And I do it with my girls. Like I teach them everything I learn and they teach me everything they learn. So it's just I wanted to, you know, kind of write this book and tell my story. Well, initially, I didn't want to tell my story. Initially I wanted to just be a self-help. because I love self-help books. I grew up with self-help books. My mom had them when I was just a little girl all around on every bookshelf. And I just would like sit around and read them. And I just found them fascinating.

I think if I had gone to college, I probably would have studied psychology. Like you would have been a therapist. I think maybe. Because I really love helping people. No, I could tell that. I know this sounds like cliche, but I could tell that you've like done the work, you know, like the work, like introspective. Like how did you get to that place where you're like, because you did journaling, you went,

you went abroad and did like meditative stuff, right? Like what are like the biggest things that helped you kind of become this version of yourself? I think it was just asking the question, what do I want next? Like what do I want to focus my precious time on? And what do I not want to focus my time on? and just getting really clear about that first. But honestly, I was just stuck. I was like, I've got to do some work because I want to change,

not just for myself, but for my girls, but yeah, also for myself. I want to live, I want to be happy. And there was a certain period of my life where I just couldn't find the happy. And I would look around and I would see all these people living these happy, joyous lives. And I couldn't get out of my own way. So you talk about mental health a lot in the book, which I think is, I mean, nowadays people are being more open about it, but I mean, back in the day, the stigma around it. So since when were you kind of struggling with that kind of thing? What age did the start for you?

I was kind of born a blue person. Really? I don't know if everybody kind of knows what that means. It's like I didn't, I wasn't born with like, you know, rainbows and unicorns flying out of my ass. I was, you know, like I have got the, I like to think deeply. I feel things deeply. and so I was always trying to sort of manage that. You know, my nickname when I was a little girl was puddles because I cried a lot. So like I was just very sensitive to things. And as I got older, I really tried to shut that down because it was brought to my attention that being emotional was too much for some people or it felt like they were trying to tell me that it wasn't a good thing. And I really kind of decided to flip that script because I want to. to be emotional. I don't want to be cut off from my emotions. I don't want to lose my voice.

And so now I just say I am emotional. I love that in the book. And it's so important, I think, still, because people think about people like you or in the public eye or people that have been on hit TV shows or in movies. We just assume, like, they must be so happy. They've got it all together. They've got it all together. They have the money. They have the fame. They have the cameras. And also, you can't complain when you're in that position. Right. Or else. you look like we're way, we're all humans, like living this human life. And it's not easy. And like everyone has emotions and even more so when you're maybe, maybe more so when

you're in those high intensity situations. Like, I mean, 902 and out you guys, I listen to the theme song. Full body chills. Every time I hear it. You too? By the way, my husband, not that I always like. Like, I don't know why I give him no credit in this world. Like, I'm still surprised that he, you know, because he grew up on it too.

But when I told him you were coming on, he was so excited. When I was listening to the theme song in the car, he was like, oh, my God, I just got literal chills. He goes, me too. And I think it's everybody. It brings you right back to a very specific day and age before social media, before cell phones, before the internet. Like, you go back to this place of, we. It's so fondly remembered in our hearts and in our history. Truly.

I think Kelly Taylor. I remember where I was when Kelly got shot. Like, I remember how that affected me. In the parking lot? Yes. And, like, I remember where I was with my sister. By the way, tried to do the math. I was probably, like, too young.

Right? You shouldn't have been watching. I was probably because 1990 to 2000, I would assume she got shot. what in like 1995? Maybe four, 94? Okay. Wait, so do you have an older sister? Yes.

So that's why you watched it. Right, right. But traumatizing and all of it. You learned a lot. It was probably not age appropriate for any of us. No. But we lived it. I mean, it was like the show that you wait for,

that you put on the time that it's on. It's just you can't like recreate that kind of thing. You were trying to be an actress since you were. a little girl. I know you were in beauty pageants and stuff like that. So how did the acting come up? I never wanted to be an actress. I thought I was going to be a dance teacher. I went to a pageant to get a scholarship. Like if you won the pageant, you got a scholarship. And I really wanted that for my mom and dad so that they, you know, would have help paying for college. But I didn't win. But somebody at the, he was one of the guest judges. And he and his wife were there. And they came up to me and said,

we think you have something. Have you ever thought about acting before? And they gave me a script and they said, tomorrow, let's meet up for lunch and you can read this scene. And so I took the scene and I did my, you know, I tried to memorize the lines and ended up doing the scene with his wife at a little table. And I just remember they were like, yeah, you. Do your mom come with you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. My mom was with me, of course. It would have been weird if she wasn't. Yeah, yeah. And thank God his wife was with us. Right. Creeper. So he said, you know what?

You're still, you're not ready yet. You're green. You need to go get some training. So I went and took some acting classes in Arizona where I was living at the time. And I would send in like my progress on the VHS tapes. We would send it in like the snail mail to him in L.A. And he was a big deal then, the agent guy? He had been the head of casting for ABC in New York City.

Wow. He had just moved and started a whole new venture as a personal manager in L.A. So he, yeah, it was, it wasn't cool, another door that opened and I just went through it. And he went through it. And when you started doing the acting lessons and stuff, did you get in, did you feel like, wait, I like this, I enjoy this? Not really. Not really. No. No, I just like getting lost in like the scene, the moment of these characters. Like that, I've always said like what I, what I love about what I do is when the director calls action.

And that's the moment when there's like that connection between you and the other character or the connection with the lens, the camera. There's something so intimate about it. I really love that moment. Because there's no other noise. There's no, everybody's quiet, you know, on the set. And it just feels so nice. And everyone's playing pretend too.

And it's not real. Yeah. And you get to step into somebody else's shoes and live somebody else's life, which was so. fun for me as a young girl. I didn't know anything about this character of Kelly, this world she came from. So at some point was an agent guy, what do you call him in the books? Mr. Chobes. Was he like, okay, you're ready. Like, you've been progressing. Well, yeah, he said if you, I think you're in a good place. If you want to come over, let me know. And we packed up our bags and

knocked on his door and he was like, oh, shit, she's here. Okay. And he started sending me out that pilot season. And was 902101 one of the shows? No, the first show I did was called A Brand New Life. I was playing Barbara Eden's daughter. And it was just a really incredible learning experience because that was my first time, like on a set. And I just watched every move she made. And she taught me how to be a pro. You know, and her work ethic is so incredible that I just took all of that on like a sponge. And I always attribute her to like making. me such a professional. And did you enjoy that? Like, did that start giving you like? I did because I like doing things well. Yeah. You know, and I felt like you were getting better and like. Yeah. And I felt like

people were happy with my performance. They were, you know, saying I was doing a good job. And I think when you're young, you want to hear that from people. You want to hear like, you're doing great. And, you know, that's exactly what we wanted from the scene. And I think that sort of like turned into this like need to please. Yeah, you talked about the validation, like, coming from the outside. You made me think a lot with this book. Like, I have some anxiety, too, and it brought up, like, feelings for me. You know what I mean? Like, with just, like, that kind of stuff, with competition that you talked about, with aging, with, you know, a lot. So the validation thing as well, I mean, we all live in this now, you know, like, you were talking about it since then, but now it's like, I mean, just go on Instagram

and post a pick to get some. love, you know, they need to get the validation, checking the like. So that really landed. So 90210 came after this show. Yes. You got the script for Kelly Taylor. Did you feel like I'm her? No, I felt like I could pretend to be her. And I thought it would be really super cool to be her. And I just did the audition scene. And yeah, I guess it went well because Aaron Spelling hired me. And was that was that. Like, was it like one audition? Yeah, it was one audition.

Really? Well, I read for the casting director right before I went in to read for a room full of suits. Sometimes now I hear that it could be like 11 auditions or something. Oh, yeah, it's nuts. Like, you think today it's more nuts than it was? I mean, I haven't had an audition in a while. I don't really like, I haven't been focusing on acting as much lately. So I think it's just a process.

And it's changed so much because, like, you don't go in to meet the casting director. Right. Like a Zoom. Yeah, you do like put yourself on. And tape. On tape? It doesn't even, you don't do that. It's like you video.

What do you call it? Yeah. You record yourself. Yeah. You send it in digitally. Yeah. And so you never even meet the people. Yeah.

And you are either right for the role or you're not. And then you don't hear yes or no. You just, you only hear something if you get hired. Yes. Wow. We'll be right back after the break. So somebody actually told me this recently. former podcast guests, I reach out to me and said, like, I love the way you do your podcast,

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And we're back. You did talk in the book about like rejection in this industry that you kind of were hoping to have more like respect from your peers or maybe more you were saying like you were hoping maybe you wouldn't have to audition like after 902 on now. Right. I mean, coming off that show that high, you know, and having gone through the gamut of moments, like, emotional, you know, I showed my dramatic chops for sure. Right. Yeah, I kind of thought, like, I didn't really plan ahead. Like, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was just open. And I had a baby at the end of that show in the 10th season. And so my priorities just shifted radically. And I didn't really even care what came next. You didn't. No. I just knew that.

It felt weird to be like out in the wild with no PA leading me around and telling me it's time to eat or, you know, turn right. And here's what you say. Here's what you wear. This is when you go to the bathroom. This is when you can go eat your hair done. Because 10 years of this show. Wait. So you, because I guess I watched it fairly young, I wasn't aware of like you guys in real life.

You know, I was aware of the characters. So you writing in this book that you were pregnant, during the show, I was like, What? Like, I didn't know that then. So you were filming pregnant season 10? No, actually I think it was season eight. I do a rewatch podcast and we just rewatched it and I was hiding the baby in season eight. Yeah. We called it Bob. You called what Bob? The baby bump. We were like, somebody hide Bob. Really? I can see Bob. Stop. Did everyone know in the cast? Like, how early did you share it with everybody? I mean, I showed early.

Oh, you did? I was large. Really? Yeah. I wasn't like, oh, cute little pregnant girl. Okay, I am sure you were. It looks like she swallowed a basketball. No.

Usually with your first, right? It's usually with your first, you show later. Yeah. No, I showed. You showed. It was hard time. You were so young, 24, you got pregnant, which on one hand, I'm sure it was hard being so young and pregnant. But now it's so nice.

that your girls are already like older? You're right. They're in college. Yeah. So that's so fun. It's so great. It's so great. I know.

I feel like we really did grow up together. Yeah. In the best way. And they have, they, I've said before they're my greatest teachers. Like, I go to them for advice. They come to me for advice. We love spending time together. And I, I'm just like, if I die tomorrow, my,

I, thank you for the nod. Not going to what? I will feel like I've done something good. You know, I will feel fulfilled. That's so beautiful. We're three girls too. My mom's single mom, so I love hearing about, you know, mom's bonds with her daughters.

I have boys, womp, womp, womp. Where's your bond? Someday. Someday, maybe. Boys could be cute, too. It's not the same. It's different. They're sweet.

Because it feels like, and in this book, you tell a lot of stories about how your daughters were really there for you in moments that you needed them, like a friend. They had to step in. They had to. Yeah. And I talk about like, I don't even know if that was a good thing. Right. That's probably not in the parenting books of how to be a good mom. But it was the way I was a mom.

And it's the only way I knew how to do it. I am not a person that can hide her emotions, like I said. And I loved how you said because I saw that quote somewhere. like, I think there's an Instagram real that is a tearjerker that's like, remember that your mom is here for the first time too. Right. And you said that too in the book something similar, right? Yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm doing this for the first time too.

Like, I don't have a prior life experience. We only have like what we see our mom, what we saw our mom, how she raised us or our siblings. And so we usually will go into parenting, like saying, I'm going to do everything that my mom didn't do. or everything that my mom did wrong, I'm going to do right with my kids. But there's no, you can't, there's no map, there's no directions for it. And yeah, you're just flying by the seat of your pants and hoping that you're not messing your kids up too much. You mentioned the book that you weren't in the party club going out. No. Even before you got pregnant, that was in your vibe?

Yeah, I went to the Viper Room a few times. That was Johnny Depp's place now. Yeah, it's still there. It's crazy. Yeah, I hear. I was more of a home body. I've always been more of a home body. I feel more comfortable in my house with my dogs, with my people, than I do going out. And I think that that's probably just who I am in general, just being from the Midwest. And also it was a sort of a safety, like how I saved myself from the scary things that were happening to me at that time. Did you ever have FOMO? I did have FOMO sometimes. Like the cast would go out and they would come back and talk about like what, you know,

or I'd see their pictures in the tabloids. And, you know, part of me was like, hmm, I wonder, like, is something wrong with me that I don't want to do that? Did they ever try to convince you? No, it was just pretty well established that I didn't need to join in in that. Really? What a strong personality? I just knew I was too sensitive for all of that. Wow.

I dip my toe But I always just retreated home afterwards Because usually I feel like that kind of like Wisdom comes later in life When you're like, whoa, whoa I know what I like I know what I don't like Like why am I doing shit that I

You know, why am I being dragged to do things That I don't actually want to do But usually when you're young You do the dumb shit you don't want to do And you regret later I did some dumb shit But So you had a but you had like a strong

Moral compass Yeah I think it's just the way I was raised. And when 902 ended, like after 10 years, was there sadness around it? Were you ready to go because you had a baby and everything? Yeah, it wasn't as sad because I did have this personal life that I love so much to go home to. But it was weird and it was like, well, am I ever going to work again? Or does, is this how it is like as an actress? Because I got so lucky. And then that was 10 years. And then all of a sudden, like, I thought, oh, how do I get another job? Or does that just come to you?

Yeah. Like is that what's the next? What do I do? Yeah. So what was that in between time like trying to figure it out? I didn't really focus on it a lot because of Luca, my first baby. But then it started to like settle in. Like I wasn't getting, you know, auditions and stuff like that.

So I started kind of like seeking it. And then I knew I wanted to try something different. So I auditioned. Well, it wasn't really an audition. They brought me in to do like a chemistry meeting with. Amanda Binds. Oh, right. And I got to do that show, what I like about you, is so fun. I know. And you were so perfect in that. You played her sister. I did. I took her uptight sister, yeah. Have you spoken to her since? No. I haven't in a long time. Since then. Yeah. Yeah,

because things have kind of changed with her. Yeah, they have. And I would love nothing more than to reconnect with her. Yeah. That could be nice because you were talking about in the book how you, I mean, you were saying just now you want to be a therapist. Like, and you want to like help people. You want to, you know, share the wisdom. So I could see that connection happening. I would love it. Do you think that people today can understand, like, the level of fame that you guys had at

the time? Because, like, now we have a million TV shows, a million, you know what I mean? Like, then, like, that was the thing. It was, it was now 2 and L or bust. How do you feel like it compares? I feel like there's, yeah, like you said, there's so many options out there. Right. There's so many famous people now.

Right. Internet famous people. Right. I can't keep up with them. I don't know who most of them are. But then it was like, you know, this is what you get. These are the shows you get to watch and these are the people on them. And that show really just resonated so deeply with like the youth of the world that wherever we went, it was nuts.

It was nuts. It was nuts. Yeah. How did you handle that? Like, did you like that? Because you said, because I get on one hand, you're like quieter, introvert a little bit, homebody. But at the same time, you like the validation. So how was that?

Like, you enjoyed the fan screaming? Did it scare you that you couldn't go anywhere? Yeah, it's, I'm much more of an introvert than people realize. And it did scare me. So I actually didn't. I started to develop a little agoraphobia where I wouldn't leave the house. I wouldn't go to the store. I still don't go to the grocery store.

Like, I don't know. I just, I get a little nervous out in the real world. That people will, like, you get uncomfortable with people approach or... It's not even that I think people are going to freak out or anything. It's just something inside of me that needs, like, to be safe and secure in an environment that's controlled, you know? Yeah. Who was the most well-equipped to deal with that from the cast with the fame and the fans? Gosh, I think.

I don't know. Like, I don't know their personal journey with that. I think that it was hard, definitely for the boys, Luke and Jason. Hard for them? Because they were, they couldn't go anywhere. Yeah. And what about Steve, leaving Steve out who age so beautifully? Let's give Steve some love. Yeah. He did. He's a stud. I just looked his age up because I saw a pick of him because I was, you know, looking through all the nantium. and those stuff and I'm like, how old is I in like 62 down? He looks great. And his spirit is the same as it was back in the day. He looks so. He wrote you a beautiful birthday post I saw in feed and everything. Oh, and in feed.

Wow. I made it. It was in feed. So sweet. So you were saying it's like I'm like Dylan and Luke and Jason. My God, look, I'm in the characters. No. No, I've been called Kelly like three times today.

It's fine. We're not on live TV. Not on live TV. Like by the producer. No, stop. But you said in the book, it doesn't bother you. A lot of people have some sort of weird relationship with the role that they're most known for. So what's your relationship with that?

I love Kelly. Yeah. I love what that show did for so many young people. I'm proud of it. Yeah. You have no like mixed feelings about it. Yeah. I mean, what is there not?

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even knowing which hospital he's at you took your daughter yeah I got that call on the way to drop my daughter off at school and I just went where I felt like he was like based on where he lived and I just was drawn to a certain hospital and it was actually the hospital that he was in but I couldn't get up to see him. They weren't allowing anybody up. It wasn't family. So I just sat in the lobby for a couple hours that day until his manager at the time came and said, you know, go home. I'll keep you posted.

So I did. I went home. It was something in you that was pulling you to go. Were you that close at that time that you would be a friend that went or was it something bigger? Yes. We were very good friends. And I think if any one of my cast members was in a situation like that, I would want to be with them. Wow.

Like, I love them. And I know that I got sick once on that during, well, a couple times. One time when Luke ran me over with a jet ski and knocked me unconscious. And I remember in the, he went with me in the ambulance. They made me go and get all my whatever's checked. And, you know, I remember him being there. And then once in, I got some sort of like kidney infection or something. I was really sick and I ended up in the hospital during filming of the show and he was there by my bed.

And I, you know, I won't ever forget that. What do you wish you had, if you had the time to say something to him that day that you came to the hospital and you, because you thought probably he's going to get better, I'm going to see him. Like you just wanted to be there for him and hold his hand. Yeah, just wanted to be close. The way you talk about that grief in the book was like really, really touching. And you even said, like, it's not something that you even want to open up in a way. Were you debating whether to include that in the book? Yeah.

There were some things around Luke that I chose not to share. And also sharing what I do share, it feels because when he passed away, I didn't want to talk about it or go to. the service or anything and everybody wanted to know and I remember like I didn't post a picture or tribute to him on social media and I got like a lot of backlash and I just wasn't I didn't want to like I my relationship with Luke was sacred to me and I don't know I just couldn't I still have like very hard time believing that it's real like I don't want to accept it the posting on Instagram is so, sounds silly, but it's such a prevalent thing because people, when something happens, anticipate certain people to respond. Right. And if you don't, you're just

lacerated. So I'm like proud of you that you stuck to like your feeling, you know, like. I mean, you can't win. I mean, I didn't post for Luke's death and I got, you know, annihilated. And then I did post for Shannon's death and I got annihilated. So what are you going to do? But it was just a feeling. Like for Luke, it was hard for you to do that. And for Shannon, what was that like? I really felt like she deserved to be honored by me as a woman.

Like, I had so much respect for her that I wanted the world to know. Yeah. What she had meant to me, even though everybody had their, you know, what they thought was the real story. Well, again, it's weird because watching it as a 10-year-old or wherever, like, again, I wasn't aware of what was happening in real life. But reading your book and learning that there was kind of a parallel real-life, 90210 situation where you guys had some issues on set was like shocking to me. Yeah, I mean, like they, the writing pitted us apart. Like, they made a love triangle.

Like, we were best friends on the show. Then Kelly broke the best friend code. Yeah. Well, Brenda was away. And that was the moment when the world just decided you were either team Kelly or you were team Brenda. So did people hate Kelly in real life because of it? Yes. There are still to this day people that do not like me because I was Kelly.

Because I broke. Because I don't know. My listeners know. I don't know if your daughter's watched Summerhouse. But there's a reality TV show where that's happening right now, like a best. friend hooked up with an, you know, and I mean, nowadays, I cannot imagine. No, no, no. They're being like, like death threats. That's what I'm saying. Like, I'd be scared to go outside if I, if I were them. So that's why I was just thinking, like, if, if you felt that as, you know,

playing Kelly, if you felt that at the time. I didn't really feel it as much in the moment. Yeah. But when you, when we did step out of that sound stage, because we were really together in this little soundstage in Van Nuys, California, like, we weren't. experiencing what was happening in real time. Right. Right, because it wasn't like online. So it's like a tabloid or a, yeah, it comes up. Yeah, to read like the big bopper or whatever. Right. That's kind of nice. It was nice. So you're saying the writing and the storylines kind of, I mean, you guys found it hard to separate it a little bit. Yeah. And it created attention. It created competition, more competition than it was already there. And I fell praise to, you know, acting in ways that.

I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't want to ever repeat. So, you know, in really examining those relationships and, you know, writing about them in the book, that is a case of like having to forgive myself for acting in certain ways as a young woman that I thought was how you were supposed to, you know, defend yourself or keep your position or be the chosen girl or whatever in that moment. And there were. areas that that was, you know, it was painful and it was damaging. Like you have, you had regrets about that and that's why you're saying part of it is like forgiving yourself for. Yeah, I mean, we, I think at some point in our lives, it's really

important that we get self-reflective. And I, and I really believe in the, I say stop pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb. and I will always look at my part in something now as a grown woman. And wherever there is a misstep or wherever there is something that needs to be cleaned up, I'm welcome it. I welcome it because I don't want to, I never want to hurt anybody or be not nice person. But I think in those moments as a young girl, I resorted to the only thing I saw around me as effective.

Yeah. And defending what my position was because I had no security. And it was all out of insecurity, whether it was in my personal life or on set, I had a lot of growing up to do after that show. And I took a, that's when I really started to delve deep into like, who am I? And why have I done the things I've done? Why do I act the way I act? why are love relationships so difficult for me?

You know, I had to really go inside, go deep inside. Because you also mentioned that you were good friends with Tiffany Theson, who played Valerie. Yes. And they are not friends anymore, which made me sad. I got excited. It was like a quick, like, oh, they were best friends. Oh, they're not friends anymore.

But you talking about that very openly about how, you know, as a young girl feeling like competitive and having those issues come up and finding it hard sometimes to connect with other girls because you're maybe both after the same thing. The same attention, in this case, like, you know, the same attention. The same attention.

And he said it was really noticeable on set, like, who got attention, who didn't, who came in, that must be so difficult. I mean, I know the set was, I did always try to make it like nice for people coming in because I can imagine what that must have been like. But there were times I was young. I didn't really know how to handle that.

And there were times where I was threatened and I felt threatened. I wasn't threatened, but I felt threatened. And like I said, there are maybe instances that I don't know of where I made people feel a certain way that I would never really want them to feel. So did you, you said you and Shannon did make amends before she passed. So you got to talk about that. Yeah, we had a mutual respect for. each other just as grown women, as Aries women. I was wondering what sign you were.

Aries, okay. Aries, yeah. You know, we recognized our strengths in each other, I think, and we had a respect for one another, and things were nice. We weren't, like, best friends that hung out all the time. Yeah. But, again, love her just as much as I love Gabrielle or Ion or Jason, you know. Well, you and Tori had a special friend.

How did she, like, what was different about her than other girls on set that you were able to kind of be more open with her from the gut? We worked a lot together. Like our characters were Kelly and Donna all the time. So I think we just spent more time with one another and that we bonded really deeply. She was fun. We did like DIY projects together and, you know, we just hung out and she would come to my house and so I didn't have to go out. So she would go out with other people and then she would come over and do like latch hook rugs with me. That's so sweet.

And you wrote in the book too, you were like, we're so different. And I was like, yeah, they are. Like I think people wouldn't look at both of you right now and think, you know, they make sense together. Yeah, but that's the beauty of friendship. Yeah. You know, I love her the way she is and she loves me the way I am. Yeah. And you guys trying to make the

the reboot happen. B.H. 9.2.0. I saw the trailer. I was watching it today. So good. It was fun. How did it only get six episodes? I think it was really expensive. You guys were expensive.

And the show in general. I mean, yeah. That's a big cast to reunite. Yeah. Yeah. And it was the writing, the team, the writing team was kind of in and out. And we had some changes mid-mid episodes.

It was really tough. Do you think then the reboots are over? Like no more reboots in our life? I don't know. I feel like probably, I don't think I think I... You know, today they're doing things differently. Like every show has like a reunion now. They're doing things more reunion-y.

Have you noticed that? Like the friends reunion, they like brought. But I feel like with 902 and no, that two cast members aren't with us. It's missing. It's missing. What did you think of the reboot 90210? The like...

The younger version? The CW version? Yeah, the CW version. Well, I was on it and it's so funny because I say, yeah, I did a few episodes of that. And Tori's like, you did 23 episodes of that. You did 23? And I'm like, I absolutely did not. And she looked it up and it said 23.

So I didn't watch it, but did you play Kelly? I think Kelly, like the counts, like she had become the council. at the school. Oh, that's funny. And I really did it because a friend of mine was producing it, and he was so excited about it. And I couldn't say no. I wasn't in that place of my life where I felt confident enough to say no to things. Why would you say no? I mean, looking back, I wish I had said no to that. Really? Because it was a different show. It didn't need me. Yeah. And it was just very different. But it was a hot show. People loved it. Yeah. Yeah. You'd have. didn't love it sounds like. I just felt like what was should have. Yeah. But how does it work?

Like they got the rights? Like it was like a thing like that? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. And they came and sat in my living room and were like, please just do this. It's going to be great for the fans. Yeah. But again, a whole new, a whole different show. Is there anything you took from set back in the day? I think I only got Kelly's cowboy boots. Yeah. And she would wear with like baby doll dresses. Yeah. I still have those.

I was jealous of her too. Yeah, she had good clothes. Yeah. Good looks. What do you think she would be like today? I think Kelly would. It's so funny because I'm in the short hair part of the show that I'm watching it back now. Oh, you talked about the pixie cut.

Yeah, the pixie cut. And I feel like she would be more like Jackie Taylor, like her mom. Oh, yeah? Like I think she would be fan. Oh, she would be fancy. Yeah, yeah, like designers and stuff. That's so funny when you talked about the pixie cut because I was like, I mean, as a viewer, you're like, oh, Kelly got a haircut, but it's like real life. Jenny got a haircut, showed up to set with it. Did anybody freak out on set? Not that got to me. I didn't get the message, but Aaron spelling was notoriously very specific about hair, not being cut. And I did it. And I never heard one word from him. that he was notorious about that?

No, I didn't know. I didn't know. I thought, oh, I'm not keeping up with the times. Like, the character's evolving. Like, she has to have the new look. Yeah. But I feel like it worked for her. Like, was she a little edgier that season?

I think the eyeliner was a little darker. Yeah. That may have been the cocaine, the cocaine season. God, Kelly's been through so much. I wanted to ask because somehow we've been an hour and all these freaking thing can go to your questions. Yeah. I don't know how it's.

It's been an hour. It's so easy to talk to you. I know. Okay. So let's do a few quick ones then. Okay. Who was your celebrity crush back then? Celebrity crush? I mean, was Luke. I know. Oh my gosh. I love that it's Luke. But if now what you want know was cast today, who do you think would play Kelly? They did a movie on Lifetime where they they didn't cast Kelly. They cast Jenny like me. And the girl looked exactly like me. name's Abby. Hey, Abby, if you're listening. Wait, I don't understand they cast Jenny. I don't understand. It was like about the real life. It was like a documentary, but with actors. Oh. Okay. It was weird. It was weird to watch because it wasn't accurate. Yeah. Like, they got broad strokes of each of us. Right. Wait, that's so funny.

Yeah. Who would, I would like Sabrina Carpenter to play me. Wait, that actually is good. She's so adorable. That actually is good. Would you ever do a reality show? I've done reality shows. I know. The You did your CMT, but would you, like, go on, like, traitors or something? No. Okay. Housewives? Yeah, I've been asked to be on Housewives, but I... Which one?

I don't even know. The Beverly Hills ones, I'm sure, but... How the hell would you fit in there? I don't know. That's what I... What's why I said, no? Like, I don't think that's the right environment for me to feel good and healthy. Right.

And we're focused on that. Mm-hmm. Who from the cast is most like their character in real life? Ion. Ian. Yeah. He just loves to make people smile. His haircut, by the way, looking back now.

I mean. And his clothes. We always rip him apart and he hates it. I'm sorry. I love you so much. No, because everybody else, you're like, okay, like, it could be cool today. Like, 90s are really coming back. And then I saw Steve's hair.

And I was like, that really is the only thing that was like. It was really poofy during that. No, it had like a mullet situation. So good. Yeah. The mullet is back in. I mean. In certain crowds.

Yeah. So Ion is the most. Okay. So I'm so sad our hour is over. Me too. Jenny. I feel like we're just getting started. But thank you so much for coming.

I loved your book choosing me. So everybody should pick it up or listen. You don't care if we listen, right? No. We're down with the listening. Listen. I love the story. I loved hearing more about you.

And I feel like there were a lot of good life lessons in there too. Great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for. listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast

that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.