Not Skinny But Not Fat - JOSH DUHAMEL: OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME & MOVING TO THE WOODS

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Josh Duhamel joins me this week and, yes, he’s as charming as you think! But he’s also super down-to-earth, funny, and surprisingly open. We get into how he’s dealt with imposter syndrome despite looking like a leading man, what’s the most doughy Hollywood thing he’s ever done, and what led him to get a home in the middle of nowhere. Plus: dad life, his rom-coms, the age gap with his wife and more!This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Don’t miss the new season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, coming to Hulu May 15th.Use the code “AMANDA” on Rhoback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.Shop Saks.com.Changing time has never been so quick and easy… and I want you to experience this with your little one, too! Order Magnetic Me today! For yourself… or as a great gift for any parent! Go to MagneticMe.com – new customers will get 15% off their first order!To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/NOTSKINNY.Upgrade your space with the most stylish, customizable and elevated sofa bed available. To get $100 off your new sofa, plus fast shipping, go to us.koala.com/amanda. Koala—comfy, easy, sustainable.Trust me, you need some GOODLES mac & cheese in your life! And don’t forget their nutrient-packed pasta, too! Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it’s available nationwide at major grocery stores and retailers. I know you’ll love GOODLES as much as I do!Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You guys, it is all happening. The moment that we have been waiting for, the secret lives of Mormon wives is back. The wait is over for season two. And it's coming back to Hulu with an all new season on May 15th. You guys, yes, three days from now. If you're listening on Tuesday, is going to be May 15th.

It's going to be the time that you can open up Hulu and watch Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 2. We finally get to find out what's going on with our favorite Saints and Sinners or Taylor and Dakota still together or Jen and Zach still dealing with the aftermath of that trip to Vegas will Whitney be led back into Mom Talk after her

actions last season plus DeMe and Jesse drama. Layla's shocking discovery, Miranda's arrival to clear up the swinging scandal and more. This season is a tangled web of jealousy exes and drama and I cannot

wait to binge watch. You guys, it's going to be insanity and I know you guys are as obsessed as I am. So this one is for us. And of course, I will be talking about it on Instagram and sharing my thoughts because there are going to be thoughts. Do not miss the new season of the secret lives of Mormon wives coming to Hulu, May 15th. Cannot wait to binge with you guys. The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the not skinny bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch. And I still can't believe. that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars

on my very own podcast where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. You know what's so crazy, guys? Hey, what's up? How are you? I love you. Happy Tuesday if you listen on Tuesday.

And welcome to the show. You know what I think about? because I always am changing up my mic setup at home. Like, I just got a new mic. I just got a new stand. I changed stands three times because I want to, like, when I do shit from home, like, I want it to be comfortable. I want to sound good.

I want it to be good. But then I realized, like, sometimes when I'm like, you know, pooing my setup, I'm like literally the greatest, biggest podcasters in the world, like, do this shit. Like, they're home with their Zoom recorder. It's not the Zoom. Like, you Zoom in a media. There's like a recorder called Zoom recorder plugged into their fucking mic.

We all have the sure mic. Like we're all doing the same fucking shit and we're all recording fucking ads. So, you know, we're all in this together. I'm drinking my protein hot chocolate. I know throw up on me, vomit on me, but I'm here to show you. I'm here to be transparent. And like, I just realized like people don't talk about it enough. Like it is hard.

I mean, I've been talking about a lot. It is hard sometimes. It's hard to work out. It's hard to eat healthy. let's stop pretending that it's like changing your life and you love it so much and it's like no no you want to eat the burger or you want to eat the mac and cheese like it might not make you feel good but you want to eat it you don't want to be that guy that like can't eat it at the table but i'm really like i talked to you guys about this like after lenny the body i think i'm at the same way now that i was with noah like when i got back from the hospital like that's how different it is which sounds crazy to you but like number wise it's true but i am feeling already much better from from starting to just change shit up like change it up. I start working with a nutritionist and like all of a sudden I'm like, oh, you don't eat like almonds, avocado like cottage cheese together. She's like that's all fat. Like you're eating all

fat in that meal. It's not even balanced. Like you know what I mean? So now I like think about those things. Anyway, see, it's like that's a thing when you're trying to like eat healthy kind of becomes your whole life because you have to think about what you eat all the time and that's what I don't like about it. Anyway, we have such a cool episode today. Like, honestly, I had such a good time recording with his guest, obsessed. Like, I don't think there's one of my girls, followers, friends, family that I say his name to, and we don't geek out. Like, we don't blush up, geek out, and are like, oh my God, remember this movie, that movie, that movie, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. So, can you take a guess? He's the king of rom-coms.

and his name is Josh Jumel. Oh my God, I'm so bad at giving hints. See, this is why I stopped with the teasers. Josh Jumel is here. He's everything I could have hoped for and more. He is on a new show on Netflix called Ransom Canyon,

and it's with Minka Kelly, and it's hot and it's great and it's cowboy vibes, which we've grown to love in the last few years. And we hope it's going to get a season two. I feel like it's going to get a season two. It's so bingeable because it's like basically like, romance kind of cowboy vibe, you know, with a little bit of the land and the oil and, like, the things that make the cowboy things, you know?

Anyways, a really good show and it's on Netflix and Josh Jumel is in studio with me and he, he's really just like an open book, down to chat, like literally could yip yop with him for a very long time. And you're going to be more obsessed with him after this episode because that's what I do to you, you guys. So that's what I'm my mind going to do. so let's like just lean into it let's get it started and let's hear this episode with Josh Dumel my man no my man okay bye don't tell us okay bye sorry it's a little hot or is that just me that's just you girl really yeah are you calling me who's part of me no no I'm saying you're hot

oh okay did you get that on tape Josh Jamel is here you guys yeah baby like I'm so excited and you remember meeting me. I do. It was on the red carpet. Okay. For shotgun wedding. It was. Hollywood Boulevard. What was I wearing? 2021. You were wearing this little, um, it was, it was like a little green suit. Yeah. Well, J-Lo complimenting of me. So that's what I'll remember. Yeah. She said the green matches my eyes. Yeah. Well, but you were great too. Your eyes aren't green. I know, but she said it.

What was it going to say? No, J-Lo. They're blue. Like, I just, She said my eyes are green. Yes, Jaylor. Yes, Jaylor. We went for it. Yeah, that was a while ago. Shotgun Wedding. I just told you, like, I scroll down and find it because I had so much fun at that premiere,

and it was 2021 or two. I think it was 2021. Wild. They shut down Hollywood Boulevard for that. And they had that zip line. Which I'm sure you were plopped into it because you were the talent. I was, like, walking with my heels down. Yeah.

fucking Hollywood Boulevard, couldn't find the way in, like, wanted to die. Did you drop you off right there? No. I was like the, you know, the, not the hell, but it was like, oh, yeah, just get here. And then they dropped me off. And then I had to like walk down. It was, so I got there like with blisters. So I think I took my shoes off for the bread carpet.

Yeah. That one was, that was, I'm fascinated by that because the amount of infrastructure they got to build to do something like that on Hollywood Boulevard. build a zip line and all the stuff that they did. You know, like I was talking to you about this. Like I'm fascinated by the... You're fascinated by the... I'm fascinated by the podcast right now.

How you make the sausage, you know? Really? And... You know that I thought it's how the sauce is made? No, no, sausage. I know. I recently discovered... Because nobody wants to see how the sausage is made.

Right. sauce is like nice marinera. Sauce is easy. It's the sausage. It gets a little... Sausage gets gross. Yeah. But podcasts, I feel like they're the most straightforward medium because it's not like TV where, or so I've heard, like, everything can look great.

But if you were there, like, maybe it's, you know, the green room is fucking ugly or just other shit, you know? Well, I think these are, these are much more. You're here you see that it's ugly. No, I'm just going to. Well, I mean, this is, it's, it's, it's more DIY. Yeah. Which I think is great because it lends to your ability to speak your mind about things that

you're not going to be, you know, there's not, there's not as many standards and practices as there would be on something, you know, more. right commercial right right you could I could be in my bed right now it doesn't matter right but I wouldn't want to yeah so because it's guess you can drop F bombs as much as you want here yeah right yeah you have to be careful with that on live TV right do they warn you well I mean it's frowned upon you already know Ransom Canyon is so fucking good did you watch it I watched thank you I watched and I'm loving the cowboy vibes loving the cowboy by are you I'm trying to check if you're with like boots.

No, I've got regular. But do you in your daily life, have you kind of like started wearing the hat, wearing the boots? You know, no. Okay.

But I do, I'm like cowboy adjacent. Yeah. I dress. You know, I'm from North Dakota. Got a place out in the woods in Minnesota. So I'm very often in the ranchy type stuff.

Right. Just because I'm out there. Yeah. fucking around with my tractor or whatever. But you haven't leaned in fully? No, I'm not full cowboy. Not yet. Okay.

Give me a, if we get picked up for another season, who knows? Well, because a lot of, I feel like actors who do this type of show, like ranch vibes, all of a sudden, they're moving out to the, I mean, you already have a place, like a ranchy place. Is it ranch vibes the place in Minnesota? No, it's, it's lake vibes. It's a, it's a, it's a, the short version of it is that I bought. 12 acres, like 16, 17 years ago, half a parcel. Then the other half went up for sale with a little, like shitty old hunting shack

with no electricity or water. Then I had 24 acres. And then the one next to that went up for sale, which also had a little cabin right on the water. So then I had these two cabins. Only one of them had electricity. Neither of them had water. So that was like my project, just fixing these things up for years, you know,

cleaning our dishes in the lake. and it was rough. Why Minnesota, though? You're in North Dakota. So I grew up in North Dakota. I'm now a resident in North Dakota. My wife's also from there. So we got a residency back there because we were there so much.

I'm there more than I'm in. You have to like officially do it when you say that? Well, yeah, kind of. Really? Oh, okay. I guess you do. Yeah. I've never not.

Yeah. Okay. So you're officially North Dakota. It's North Dakota. And then the cabin is like an hour across the Minnesota. border. So we sort of spent a lot of time out there, too. So that kind of is my life. Do you have a place in North Dakota, too? Yeah. Okay. So North Dakota, Minnesota, but also still L.A. a little bit. Yes. Damn. Yeah. I mean, the place in North Dakota isn't, I mean,

eventually we'd like to build something like a real home there. Right now, we have a condo. And then we, you know, we go back in 14 there in the California. The lake house. That's the dream. Yeah. To sort of leave L.A. totally? No, I don't think I'll ever leave it totally. Yeah. Because, listen, I love it back there. I really do.

North Dakota, I believe, one of the greatest states in the country. Nobody knows about it. You're like, you did a tourism thing for it. Are you still? Yeah, yeah. You're still a tour. What does a job entail? I do lots of different things, whether it's shooting commercials for them.

So our production company shoots some commercials for them. They have a team of people that do stuff. I'll do voiceover stuff. I'll show up for events. You know, it's, it's not an easy state to sell. Yeah. What are the selling points? Sell us. Well, I mean, it's it's a vibe more than anything. It's not like New York City has Times Square and like all the shows and all the restaurants and all these things. North Dakota is like a throwback to when life was not as complicated, not as digital, not as fast-paced. There's something about driving down the road. there's a beautiful part of the in the southwest called the medaure at the theater Roosevelt National Park that's absolutely beautiful and then it's just it's farms and it's small communities and it's little roadside saloons and it's like a great place just take a road

trip through you know what's the flight great place to raise kids by the way what's the flight from like New York or L.A. to North Dakota well you'd have to fly well I don't think there's anything direct you'd have to fly through Minneapolis then into Fargo or mine out where I'm from and then drive or than connecting flight. Well, no, you drive in, you fly to Minneapolis and then you take another flight to Fargo. So it's a two-flight trip.

Two-flight trip. And from L.A. too? Most little towns across the states are, you know. I hate the, I hate the two. Where are you from originally? Here. You're from New York. You were raised in New York's in Manhattan.

In the Bronx, like J-Lo. Oh, really? Yeah. I'll never not say that. I know, but it's true. Amanda from the block doesn't have the same ring. I know. I wonder why.

I wonder from them. Yeah. Yeah. But why were you asking? Oh, because I, because, right, you're from a smaller town. No. Yeah. I didn't have that.

I feel like I would like it, though. That's why I went to college when I chose, I go to college, I chose to go upstate New York, which does give more kind of rural vibes. Because I was like, I don't want another city. Like, I want to feel a different kind of vibe. So being four years in upstate New York in like the Finger Lakes where I was, It's kind of, I'm sure it's way more secluded than the town in North Dakota. New York's got a lot of beautiful countryside, though.

It does. It's known just for New York City, but there's a lot of beautiful. In Jersey, too, everybody thinks Hoboken or Jersey City, but that's a beautiful. Oh, you go? What are you doing here? I used to live, I did all my children here for, I lived here for three years. Oh, right. They filmed like in the city, right?

Oh, yeah. You can imagine small town, North Dakota kids suddenly in the big city. It was a jarring experience. You stayed, though, in New York, though, then? Or were you in Jersey? No, I lived up on 63rd and West End for three years. Oh, that's nice. That's like a, that's a chill part of New York.

Yep. Okay. What did you think when you lived there? I barely made it out alive. Really? Oh, man. It's of 63rd and West End? Well, I mean, it's still, New York City.

Believe me. I wasn't far from trouble. Really? Yeah, it was, I mean, the first time I ever made any kind of money. I grew up with not a lot of money. And so I was finally making some money on this show. and I was living in the big city and I went nuts

for a couple of years. But fun, good fun. But good fun. It was good. But yeah, I saw a lot of sunrises. And not because I was up early. Like at the club?

Yeah, all the stuff. I did all the things. Oh, all the clubs? I mean, I just, I took it all in, man. I was like, as you should have. You know, I was a,

how old were you? Mid-27 or eight. How did you get into this life? Because you were, grew of North Dakota. I read that you were super into sports, quarterback. Mm-hmm.

wanted to be a dentist, how did we, how did we deserve you? How did we get you? I don't know. I mean, it was, it was, I mean, it's a, I moved to California to, and told my mother, that's why I was going to go, was to be a dentist and go to dental school, and I took the DATs, and I got my degree in biology, all the things I needed to do. Were you lying to your mom? No, I did all these things. Okay. But I think secretly I wanted to do this. I just didn't have a clue how to do. it, you know, because there's no entertainment industry in mine at North Dakota. Yeah.

So I figured, I just wanted to go see and dip my toes in the water to see if there's, if I had the balls to do it mostly. And I didn't at first. I was terrified of it because it's a, it's a big, scary thing. And eventually after a couple of years, I got more, you know, I, I started auditioning for TV commercials. I did some modeling, which I was terrible at. How did you know where to start?

Like, how did you know where to go to do these things? There was, when I was living in Sacramento, there was a guy named Hank Ritter, who approached me and asked me if I was interested. I was like, sure. Those were the days people approached you and it wasn't weird. Yeah, and that was kind of the beginning. And so I did that for about a year, didn't make any money, started auditioning for TV commercials,

had a, and then moved to L.A. And started taking classes and really taking it seriously. So after a couple of years, I ended up getting some traction, getting some callbacks on some things. I had some terrible audition. I mean, I could go on and on about how bad it was. Wait, what year did you go to L. L.A.

98. Okay. So like, for reference, Todd Hamilton came out 2004. I think it was 2002. Two? Even crazy. I think it was 2002, Tad Hamlet.

I don't know for sure. I can't remember. Yeah. So that was, so I was in Northern Cali for like four years working construction and doing all kinds of like warehouse jobs and things like that. And then moved to Southern California in 98.

And then he were like, wait, but when you were, Growing up, were people from the outside seeing something in you that was going to be a star that you were, like, made for TV? No, no. I mean, there was a, you know what really got me thinking about it? It was a good buddy of my name, Jeff Carew, who's still a dear friend of mine. We call him the captain. He was from, he had been living in California, and then he moved to Canada and then came to play football at the school we were at and we became really good friends.

And he's like, dude, you should go to California. model. I was like, what? You think I could do that? And that was, that kind of got the, that's what made me think, maybe I could go. And then I started thinking about it. We came out for spring break one year. I decided I wanted to live in, it was up in Roner Park where Sonoma State is. I wanted to go back. He ended up staying back to play baseball. And that was kind of the beginning of, but nobody before that ever said anything. I didn't. But you were probably super popular. Like you were, you are such a good looking guy. Like back. then you were footbally, right?

Quarterback? Yeah, but I was pretty awkward and gangly. I mean, we all, yeah, I was, I don't mean. So the modeling competition, though, that you won, that the runner-up was Ashton Kutcher. When was that? 97. Really? Here in New York.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So just like a modeling competition, you were like, I'll apply. Yep. So this guy, Hank Ritter, who then started working for another company, sponsored me to come out here for this thing. And I'd never been in New York. So it was like, fuck, yeah, I'll go do that. And after about two or three days at this thing, you know, it was,

this is such a ridiculous story. They put me in these crazy, like plunging. I would say you can see it online, but I wouldn't recommend. Yeah, you're like, don't go like that. It's really bad. But was it on a stage? Was like pageant vibes? Yeah, it was like a pageant for hot guys.

We watch. That's crazy. It was international model and talent associate. So it was that. It was that and it was actors, trying to get discovered, trying to find an agency who would represent you. That's really what it's for. So I ended up, after a couple of days, the word was that it was between this kid from Iowa, this kid from Oregon, or the kid from Iowa was Ashton. The kid from Oregon, and then it was me.

And I was like, what? I'm in the running for this thing. It was like this whole thing. And then we're sitting on stage at the end of this thing. It's like sixth runner up, so and so, fifth runner up, so and so, fourth runner up, so and fourth runner up, so and so. third runner up the kid from Oregon second runner up the kid from Oregon first runner up between me and

Ashton they say his name and I swear to God I just won Miss America I was so excited I felt like they lifted me up and put a sash and a T-R and they didn't do this but that's what it felt like and then for two years after that nothing happened I didn't even get an agency

from it Ashton Coucher went on got Calvin Klein campaign got that 70s show got all all these things. I was so pissed because I felt like, but I thought, but I won. I was, I was the male model of here. And we laugh about it now whenever I see him. Yeah. But that was kind of the beginning and it was, you know, it was actually a good thing probably because I had to go out and, you know, hit the streets and really sort of bust my ass to make anything happen. But you had that on your resume. I did. It's so fun. You guys that it's always the hot guys are

from North Dakota, Iowa. It's like never like New York. You know what I mean? It's always, you guys are always from like other states. Like, you know what I mean? There's a lot of beautiful men walking the streets of New York City. I mean, come on. But they're probably from Iowa or North Dakota.

You know what I mean? So where's your husband from? Israel. Israel. Yeah. Oh, really? Cool. Yeah.

I never got like American guys. I just, it wasn't. No, you know what I didn't do? Maybe, yeah, I don't know. I was too much ladies. Why is that? It was all because, you know, well, you're a strong. woman. It takes a certain man to handle a, you know, strong personality. Yeah. How are you with

strong women? I've only ever dated him. You did, huh? Yeah, my wife's very strong. We'll be right back after the break. Okay, listeners, this is not a drill. Roeback just launched a brand new product and brought back two of my absolute faves. And yeah, you need them in your summer wardrobe. First up, We got the era high-rise shorts. These just dropped and they're everything. They're high-rise. They're super lightweight and they're ridiculous la-l-l-l-latering. Whether you're going on a hot girl walk, heading to Pilates, or just running errands,

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please don't forget to follow, rate, and review. See you on and beyond the mat. And we're back. How did you end up marrying somebody from North Dakota? Right? She said she's from there too. Yeah, yeah. She's from Fargo.

I'm from mine out, which is like four hours away. We met at, you know, I'd followed her because she had had some success in pageants and things. like that. So I always root for anybody that's from North Dakota, whether it's... Followed her? You mean on like Instagram? Well, no, I'd heard about it. And I think I'd seen it. And I think she reached out because she knew we were both from North Dakota. And it was truly platonic for like years before that. Because like, now she's too young for I'm not even going to go there. She's not her. And then we started DMing back and forth. Then a friend of was named Ryan Gutsmer was staying at a place where she was working this the penthouse in

in Santa Monica he goes I know this girl you know I was like and he sends me a picture I was like I don't know where he's like he follow her I was like oh is that the girl from from bargo yeah and then we just started talking and then I invited her to a barbecue still thinking it was totally platonic just as a friend from no doc there there aren't many many people from there I mean listen if Josh Jamel is inviting you to a barbecue though do you think she was like oh we're gonna be we're going to be best friend? I don't know. I don't. I mean, I don't know for sure. But she did, but she, but she did come. And I was like, sorry and I was like, holy shit, this girl's beautiful. No, I can't. No, she's too young. I can't do it. But then she's like, she's, she's, she's more mature than I am.

Yeah. You know, and that's really how we started dating. And it's just, it's been a beautiful thing. You know, she's, we've been married now for over two years. She's an amazing mother. We have a 16-month-old little boy. Yeah. He just. A year in January? Yep. How's that? What's he doing now? Is it walking?

Oh, yeah. He started walking like nine months. Okay. Don't show off. No, I'm, I don't know. You guys? You really did. And because my, I didn't start walking to like 15 months.

No, my son, my first son started walking like 16 months. I wasn't worried, but because it's fine. And then my, my second son, too, he's not, he's 11 months. But that's normal. They all walk. It doesn't matter. They all learn to walk. That's why I never take, but the reason I say that is because we were just expecting him, like, stationary play for, we got a couple, a few more months of stationary.

Yeah. Little son of a bitch. No, that's a thing. You're like, oh, when he's going to walk to him? And then it's like, no, you guys, it's, there are really a lot of positive things about putting the baby and knowing that it can't move for a little bit. It really is. Yeah. And now he's everywhere.

And now he's literally everywhere and into everything. How is it starting all over? because your older son is 11, so getting back into the baby stage of, like, diapers and bottles and all that. I actually, I enjoy it. Yeah. I really do. I think it's fascinating how these kids, especially in that first year, how much they really change over, how your son is how old? 11 months.

11 months. Yeah. So, just to see, like, from, in fact, I did this with Axel when he was a bait, when his first year, I took a picture, like, the same composition every day for the first 365 days. And then you put it together in a, in like a compilation, and it's unbelievable how much they- Yeah. That's so sweet. I didn't do it for the, and it's not easy.

But that's what they say about the second kid. The first kid, you fucking, you have a thousand pictures a day. Oh, you did this compilation. So where is it now? How is it saved? It's on a DVD in store somewhere. I have it where. So every day you took a pick of the same.

And to watch them sort of morph from this. Wow. this helpless little infant all the way through the first year. Yeah. They say the first year, they grow more, they never grow as fast they do in that first year. It is crazy. Do you ever get like guilt if you have to be away for a job? All the time.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the worst part about this job is that you're gone a lot. I miss a lot of things. You know, when they're little like that, it's not as much of a deal. But with Axel, I was in London. I just directed a movie called Preschool, weirdly, because I'm really. because we're looking at preschools.

And I was gone for like three months. And he came for nine days of it, but I missed all of his soccer and I didn't see a single basketball game of this last season. And that kind of stuff just kills me because, you know, you don't get that time back. Did he,

does he get it? Like what you do? And I get video and I talk to him about the, you know, I'm still present. Yeah. But not being there for that stuff. It kills me.

So, you know, right now I'm home and I go to everything. I go watch. practices, you know. Yeah. People don't think about that when they think about actors because, you know, when White Lotus came out, everyone's like, are you, would you want to go in White Lotus? Like, would you go back to it? And I, and Carrie Coon, who was so good in the last one, she said like, and I loved her relatability because you don't hear this lot, but she was like, I don't know, like being away from my family for six months, because I think it's six months they had in Thailand,

which is also like a 12-hour flight. That is a John. But she was like, you know, I need to leave my family. And it's something to think about, I assume, you know, and it's hard. Yeah, it's, it's my least favorite part of the job. I'm hoping we start shooting more stuff here. You know, it's, it's, because it is. It's just too much, it makes you. Yeah. I mean, at your, at Shepherd's age, he can come.

Yes. Like technically. But Axel's got his own little life now. You know, I can't just uproot him. How is he with the little one? He's great. Yeah. At first, he wanted nothing to do with them.

That's how, yeah. He was just like, oh, this, I don't need he don't want to hold him. And now this, because Shep follows them everywhere and wants to play with and wants to like do the things he's doing because he's all about soccer and basketball. So he's really taken to him and it's a beautiful thing. That's so nice. And they're growing up like as brothers. Yeah.

And you know, I thought, okay, is it going to be weird that he's 10 months or 10 years older than his brother? But when they're, you know, 30 and 20 or 40 and 30, it's not even going to be a thing. Right. I mean, people always ask. Like, what's the best age difference, you know? It's like, I feel like that doesn't, there's no such thing. Like, you have a baby.

No, I have a four-year-old and the baby. Oh, you already have two. I do, yeah. And that's it. What about you? I think we're going to have another one. Are you going to try for a girl? I would love to.

I hate when people ask that. I'm sorry, but you have two boys. Is there a certain way you're supposed to do it to try to get a girl? I'm sure your wife looked this up already. What is it? Like, let's talk about it. Don't quote me. Okay.

But if you want to, like, obviously not do IVF and hopefully everything you can do it naturally, there is a like, let me see how. Like a position you're supposed to do? No, not a position. So you're supposed to for a girl do it before ovulation, not during, not after. But look online, like there are specific directions that I know people that worked for, like pre-ovulation. So like there's the day. No, uh-oh. That's when the male sperm are like going faster or something.

Right. Do you want the, I'm probably explaining this so wrong. But to get a girl, you have to do it before ovulation. Okay. But they're specific. Because she takes her time. So she kind of gets like the tortoise and the hair. Exactly.

She's like in no hurry. The woman is faster, as in life. What do you mean the woman's faster? Because the. Wait, and you're going to confuse me now if you're really going to do it. If you do it while she's ovulating, the boy gets there immediately. But the girl you do before because she takes her time getting there. Oh, so maybe she's more like thoughtful.

Yeah. I knew you were going to spin that some way. She takes her time. She thinks about it. She's more intentional. You guys don't want to know. She's picking the proper bag. How about this?

If you and Audra have a girl, I'll have another one. Oh, really? Yeah. Can I shake your hand on that? Yeah, you can't. We'll shake at the end. Well, you name it. Your names are pretty hardcore.

I don't know if I can do it. What are your kids' names? Noah and Lenny. Noah and Lenny. Yeah, Lenny's cute. Lenny's great. Noah's cute, too. Yeah, that was cute too.

But now I'm, you know, how'd you think of Shepherd? We just loved it. We just, for whatever reason, we knew that name well before we even were pregnant. Really? You're going to do it for a girl? I was like, you know what I like the name? Boy, if we have a boy, Shepherd. I just think it's a strong.

Do you call him Shep? Sheep, yeah. That's cute. Like Lenny. Like Lenny. I mean, who doesn't like a Lenny? Who doesn't like a Leany? Who doesn't like a Shep, you know?

Oh, could you play together? No, I'm just kidding. So cute. Okay, so no, I was going to say. I, Rihanna just announced her third pregnancy. Okay. And she has two boys. Okay.

So I'm like, is she going to have a third boy? If she has a third, if she, because my thing is this, usually when you have two of the same, you have another one of the same. That's the vibe around town. Really? Is all I'm saying. See, I don't know. So.

I wouldn't mind having a third boy, to be honest, but I would like to have a little bit. I know. You would want to feel it. You wouldn't want to feel it. Okay, back to Ransom Canyon because the girlies are going crazy over it. Do you look at TikTok ever and see? Like, people are thirsting. I have not seen that.

Really? My God, people are very happy to see you. I mean, we haven't seen you feel like in a couple years, maybe do something like this. And it's like Josh Jamel is back on our screens and a cowboy hat. And people are happy about it. That's good to know. Yeah. Really happy about it.

I heard you got a cowboy hat from Barbara Streisand. Oh, yeah, yeah. So James Brolin. Yeah. Who plays Cap Fuller on the show. who was married to Barbara Streisand. James Brulins are very sweet man. He was very thoughtful.

He knew that we had the baby a few weeks before we got there. He went to the local gift shop and got some baby stuff. That's so cute. Some little gift shop baby thing. And Barbara didn't like that because she's like, you don't get them something. Because Barbara is married to him. Yeah, they've been married forever.

Wow. And so she went out and got like a proper hat and boots It's in a full-on cowboy outfit. Wait, for the baby. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cute. So for the baby, not for you. No, no, it was for the baby.

For the baby. Yeah, Babbs didn't give me anything. Oh, wow. Yeah. I saw a lot of headlines about Minka fighting for equal pay as she should. Yeah. How did you support her if you at all in it? I didn't know about that until I read it afterwards.

But yeah, hey, get it, girl. Yeah. You know? Get it girl. there is an episode where you guys are in a tornado. Have you ever been tornado adjacent? I've seen them from a distance. You know, North Dakota, you get quite a few, I guess, tornadoes.

But I've never been in that situation. I've certainly never got down during a volcano. Got down. And filming. I was like, because I read that, I was like, really? So we're going to be doing it while the house is being torn apart of above? You're like, something is in a lot. You're like practical now.

You're like, this isn't aligning. This doesn't feel like we're being, or this doesn't feel like the best life decision. Wait, and now because you're directing, you said, and you're also producing, do you like that more where you're kind of more in charge than the acting piece or? Yes, I do.

I really do like it. Directing is all-encompassing. Yeah. It is a lot, because you're there months, if not years before developing the script, you know, putting the movie together. Then you go a month or two before to prep, figure out all your locations, all your wardrobe, all your cast, all the things. Then you're shooting it.

And I'm also in it. So you're there first every day. You're shooting it. You're doing all the things. And then you sit and you edit it for the next several months afterwards. So it's a giant time commitment, which I got, but I do really love it because you get to sort of shape the story the way you see it. Because so many times if you're acting in something. you kind of show up as a hired gun to go do your thing

and then they can do it with it what they want to. So this way you really get to kind of tell the story the way you see it. Are you going to be in it? I am in it, yeah. So it's about these two dads who, I was going to ask if you can tell me. It's about these two dads who are fighting

to get their kid into the last spot in the super pretentious preschool. Love. Wait, so it's comedy vibes. Yeah. Oh, great. Love that. Yeah. I love it.

Because it's for real. Yeah, it is. I mean, living in a, New York and then, you know, obviously Los Angeles or any big city, really, I think this is anybody with kids will really relate to it. No, I got, I fucked up. I didn't apply in time. I, it was November and everyone's like, sorry, it's closed. I'm like, what? Yeah, it was, I was late to kindergarten. You have to do it way earlier than you would, if you thought in your mind like, oh, January should be good. Nope. It's literally November. And then you, and, and also I feel like when,

when we grew up, it was like, my parents, why? just, like, send me to the fucking school that was there. Right. And he was like, what, school? And you're like, they'll be fine, you know? Yeah. And I think that, you know, for me, it was, it was, when I had actually, I swore that, I was never going to fall into that.

Because I, like you, I grew up in a place where there were no private preschools or schools in general. And so I was like, I'm not going to fall into this, this Los Angeles thing of fighting to get into what school. Sure enough, I did. And we did pay for the thing. And I was in a, you know, I did fall for it like everybody else does. So I think that it's, it's like a vortex.

It just sort of sucks you in. And, but it's, it's, but at the same time, I wouldn't stress about. Yeah. I found something, which I'm happy with. But it's upsetting. It's always you. It's not them, right? Especially at this age.

So you're more hard on yourself like, my God, I didn't do it in time. I should have done this. But you also learn. And also, I believe that things work out, you know? He's going to be fine. Yeah. It doesn't really matter. Yeah, it doesn't. I mean...

Go to public school. Like, I fucking went to public school. Pubst was great. And look at you. And look at me. Look at you. We'll be right back after the break. So if you have a pet and, you know, we love them.

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No. How do you, how do you impart the things that you learned? I don't. He gets a toy a day. In the streets of the Bronx. Don't he does. I don't.

On to your kids now that you've made it, I mean, the goal is to always try to make it to provide a better life for your kids. You tell me, wash dishes in the river? Because I'm, he's like, toy. I'm like, okay. Yeah.

But how do you do it? It's a question. How do you do it? It's like, on the one hand, you want to provide for your, give them the things you never had. Yeah. But that's not necessarily doing the many favors, I don't think.

It's so bad. So I don't know what to do. You know, that's part of the reason why we have the place out in Minnesota is because, you know, they go out there and get dirty and I'm teaching them how to do all the stuff that I have to do to keep this place up. Like, okay, the baby doesn't, like the baby is growing up in this. But Axel, like when he comes to Minnesota, is he like, yuck? Or does he like that?

Axel loves it. Oh, yeah? Because he's been going since he was a baby. So he loves it out there. He's got a group of friends out there. Now he wants, you know, if he wants to go tubing or something, I'll say, go hook it up. So he goes out and gets the rope and hooks up to the thing. And it's like, so I'm trying to teach him.

It's like manly stuff. I think it's important for these kids to, because we're living in a digital world. And we don't have enough tactile, tangible things to sort of touch and feel anymore. Like I took my kids to this park in Brooklyn this weekend. and there was a little bit of wind so the dirt was like a little floating and I was like oh no! And I started covering their eyes and running away.

That's the opposite of your like... Don't do that. Let them get dirty. You got to let them get dirty. I know. I know. And it's also hard too because and believe me, I'm the same way. We love these kids so much that we want to do everything to protect them but I, you know, but they have to they're going to get hurt, they're going to get their heartbroken.

They're going to go out. They're going to have to go through these things. things. Yeah. So how do you do that while still, you know, protecting them, you know, because you don't want to, you don't want to as a couple snowflakes. I know. You want to be tough kids who can go out and like take down, you know, whatever they need to in the world. Bricks and mountains. Bricks and, yeah, whatever. But wait, the washing the dishes in the lake, like that's literally an example? Yeah. Is that clean water? We had outhouse. We didn't end up running water for the first. And how was Audra down with us? She wasn't at first. It was like, it was rough.

But she also grew up and she grew up, her parents have a cabin like an hour from mine, which is totally weird too. What was your, like when she, like, let's say she was like, I don't want to watch the distance in the lake. You were like, we have to. Like, why stay there if there's no? I think when we first started dating, we, we, I did have running water at that point in the red cabin. So the bottom cabin did have water at that point.

So we were, it wasn't as bad. We just didn't have a bathroom yet. There was an outhouse right outside. When you say outhouse, does that mean porta or like fancier than porta? No, no, no, it's like a homemade outhouse that's been there for 50 years and there's a hole in the ground underneath the toilet and you go out there and you do your thing and, you know, in the outhouse. Even in the dead of winter, you got to walk out there in your boots and, yeah, it was rough for a minute. For how long? What do you mean?

What's a minute? Like, no, not how long do you go to the bathroom? I mean, it depends on how long you need to take a shit. How long was there no bathroom? Oh, I can't remember now. No, no, no, I was there, yeah, when we first started dating, it was, I went without for the first 10, 11, 12 years. But I wasn't out there for a longer, no, no, yeah, I'm just trying to understand, like, I feel like it was, like, not that I'm a therapist, but I do feel like it was like, you came from L.A., like you needed it. I did, need to feel like rustic and like.

I did, because I grew up in the country, and I think it was my way of, like, going back and reliving my youth in a way. Yeah. Now I get to see my, see that through my kids. kids eyes, which I think is good. What's the most like L.A. thing you've done that you cringe at? I just did this thing. Actually, I don't know if I cringe at it because I actually find I find it ironic and fun. And I do, I do like, I like the juxtaposition between the two. You know, I like home. So I just went to this place called Empower, Power Spa in L.A.

where I literally went into this place. I thought I was going in to get like a back. rug, a massage. But they put me in this, this roller thing, had like these ropes. Oh, I saw that. The like shower head. It looks like a torture chamber. No, no, no. No. This was like a massage thing, but I'm really ticklish so I couldn't hardly stand it. And then they put me in this, and I have a video, I'll show it to you where they put me in this red light. You've heard of red light therapy. All these red lights and this thing. And then a trampoline and these goggles. And you literally jump up and down for 20 minutes on this thing while you're getting this red light treatment. And then they put me into this, this ozone therapy capsule where you sit inside, it looks like a big egg

and you sit there with your head sticking out and they shoot ozone in your body. That sounds claustrophobic. While your head's out, so it's okay. Okay. Yeah, I guess so. But you're sweating like a motherfucker. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah. Also, let me show you this. Can I show you the video? Yeah, yeah. Show me. Do you, will, will you return to Empower Spa? Yes, it was great. And they were, it was, it was good. So, oh, that felt to you like a little douchey? Well, it just felt, I just felt very L.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'm into that stuff, too. You have to go, now you have to go take a shit in the woods again. I love, I love all the, the advancements in longevity and all these things. Yeah. Because, you know, I want to stay young from these kids. Well, you follow, like the Brian Johnson and stuff. I follow all that stuff. Really?

We started a company called Gatlin for this reason. For men and women, health, wellness, and longevity, you know, it's, it's testosterone. replacement. It's long jabby stacks. Yeah. Go to gatlin.com, everybody. What do you do? What do you, like, what's your wellness like thing? Because you look great. 52, right? I'm in full hair and makeup, Amanda. Okay, full. What's full hair and makeup for you? The, here, let me show you this really quick. Okay. Can I come over there and show you? Of course. I'm obsessed. And there's that. No, I can't. Wait, is somebody in the room with you? It's just you. They were like, bye, they closed the door. No. No, no, no, no. I cannot.

That's hilarious. Oh, my God. Are you going to install it in the cabin? No, but I am going to find some way to do it. So I like doing it. You can get in your house, the red light. Yeah, yeah. And I like doing, you know, I do like the cold therapy, like the ice bath stuff. We'll cut a hole in the lake in the middle of like every year for for for new years we have a party out at the cabin so all the people that are around come drive the snowmobiles over a chainsaw hole in the ice and I have this old woodburning sauna that we we fire up and get it nice and toasty and it's cold so it's usually 15 20 degrees below zero and so people come they're already half toasted because it's new years they get in the the sauna and then they run out and they jump into the this ice and then they die everybody well

and then they die because going from hot to cold like that probably fucks your heart up no it's good for them while you're drunk there's research I don't know about that part there's health tips you guys life there's research that that backs it all up you know it's the you know it's like you're releasing you know it's what do they call it oxy something to send yes but it'll come to me anyway when you're in super cold water your body feels as if it is dying dying all your blood rushes to your major organs is like a survival thing yeah and then when you get into the hot it then sort of opens up all those yeah those blood vessels and capillars and everything and sort of flushes your lymphatic nodes and all these things that they cause that that help you sort of helps with immune it helps

with, you know, a lot of, I would do the cold. I would skip the like and then hot, you know, that freaks me out. But tell me what you do for the longevity. Do you do like what or longevity or like wellness or like on days that you don't do presses your hair that nice? Or do you do it? Like, what's your? Well, my hair nice. Thank you. It is nice. Thanks. Well, she laughed her way. I could tell her, thank you. You're like, everybody else. Say it too. So I do a lot of, I mean, I do, I do that. I do T.R. T, which guys don't talk about, testosterone replacement. Right. I do peptides.

What are peptides? It's like a synthetic H-G-H. You know it? Yeah. It's amazing. We also sell those stuff at Gatlin. It's G-G-G-G-L-A-N. It's, you know, and it's not just that we sell G-L-P-1s.

We do a lot of this stuff that, a lot of stuff that people, especially for men, don't want to talk about the TR-T, but most of these dudes are doing it. Yeah. I mean, why there's like. shame in it? I think so. I think that guys don't like to talk about... Because you know why, which is so, needs to be dismantled right here, because like women have to do, let's say, hormone replacement therapy when women kind of, their hormones get fucked up with time or menopause or very menopause. And that's like fine because it's just like your blood work, you're... Yeah. Which is the same for you guys, but because testosterone is associated as this word of like

manly. Yes, exactly. Well, that guys don't like to talk about it. So when they brought me, My buddy Fabian and Mike brought me this idea a few years ago, and I was like, no, I can't, I can't be the guy for that. I can't be the face of that. And then I thought about it. Why not? Yeah. Why wouldn't I want to be?

Because it's actually helped me tremendously. And anybody I know that it's helped tremendously. So, you know, why not shine a light on it? Yeah. It's really, and so you're part of the company now. Yeah, I'm part owner of the company. I'm actually meeting with an endocrinologist to go over my hormones today. Are you?

I really am. I'd love to hear. How old are you? You don't talk about that? No, I was going to ask you how old do you think? 25. Shut up, 36. 36?

Yeah. You do look really good. Thank you. You really do. We can't have you leave here with just talking about disasterone. Because when I think of you, like, it really brings me like the nostalgic, just fond, warm memories of the great movies that you were in around that time. Which makes, yeah, it was like early 2000s, like the Tad Hamilton, the when in Rome. I've been doing this a long time.

I'm going to play a little game with you. Okay. I'm going to read a couple of quotes, and you have to guess which of your rom-coms it's from. Okay. Okay. Look, this is also my audition for the next one. Okay. Commit, Amanda.

I need you to commit. Look, having somebody help you doesn't mean that you've failed. It just means that you're not in it alone. Love Simon? Life as we know it. Oh, yeah. Okay. Both directed by Greg Berlanti.

Okay, so basically half a point. Today with you is probably the first time that I've looked up. Looked up. Mm-hmm. I have no idea. Safe Haven. Okay. This one, you'll know.

If you don't know this one, if you don't know this one. Okay. Do you even know that she has six different smiles? Oh, yeah, Ted Hamilton. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Good. And now last one, it's like I meet a guy and I think it's great.

And anyone else would just be thinking how much greater it's going to get. I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't say that. Somebody else did. It's from the movie you were in, though. Okay. Say it read it again for me, please. Really?

You want to go through that again? Yeah. Okay. It's like I meet a guy and I think it's great. And anyone else would just be thinking how much greater it's going to get. And I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm going to be in preschool. So don't you guys even worry.

Yes. I'm going to say one in our own? Yes. That was a guess. That was a great guess. If you could reboot any one of those or do a sequel or something, which one did you choose? I'd love to do Tad Hamilton 25 years later, see where he's at in life. So good.

So good. I think he would be. Tad. He could be a real hot mess. He could or not. Yeah. Or not. I just had to ask you this because I was making fun.

Are you on TikTok at all? No. Okay. There was this trend that's like, I've met my younger self for coffee. and this is what I told them. Okay. What would you tell your younger self? I met my younger self for coffee and this is what I told them?

Like this is what like the advice I would give them or like, you know, like if you met your younger self for coffee. I would say, I would tell my younger self that I belong. You belong and don't be afraid to go for it because I think for the longest time for me, I had imposter syndrome. I felt like I was not, I was like faking it. And I was a fraud and I wasn't supposed to be here. And it wasn't until, I think I probably directed my first movie that I felt like,

okay, I do belong here because I do know what I'm doing. But it took me 20 years to figure that out. And I was, and I never really jumped all the way in because I didn't feel like I really belonged. And I think that if I could tell myself one thing, it would be that. You do belong. You do belong. Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having. I had so much fun talking to you. Ransom Canyon is out on Netflix. You guys. Go binge it. It's so good. It's so bingeable. And season two, do we have confirmation on that?

I don't know. I feel like it's going to happen, but, you know. Listen, it's like number one on To Doom or something. It's like huge. It's been doing well, but, you know, it's about completion. People, they want to see how many people are actually watching it and completing it. Right. So complete it, you guys.

So if you're going to watch it, watch it all the way. No, and it's really an easy binge. Like, don't, you're getting into something fun. It's romantic, has that little Western vibe, a little rams. the little ranchy that we all love. So let's get it. Let's get it. Thank you, Amanda.

Thank you. Okay. You're like, wrap it up. Go ahead. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review.

If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoochero. Thank you guys so much for listening. and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.