Not Skinny But Not Fat - Life After Loss w/ Amanda Kloots

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

We got to know Amanda Kloots during the tragic loss of her husband to Covid. I talk to Amanda about life after loss, Dancing With The Stars, how life has been treating her as a single mom, and how watching Christmas movies lead to her becoming co-writer and executive producer of her own. Fit For Christmas is now streaming on Paramount+!   Produced by Dear Media This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Kat Sadler, and it sure is a beautiful day. After such a bleak year, it's time for some joy, and I cannot wait for you to hear my fresh and fun new show. I crack open about mom life, relationships, wellness, and beauty, all the things. Plus, I have provocative conversations with some of the most fascinating and famous bases in pop culture. I'm here to lift you up and make you think. Check out, it sure is a beautiful day.

with me and you every Tuesday. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonifah on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best. best friends in your living room.

Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. You look great. Thank you. We're both Amanda. I know. I just realized that you would think I'd come across it more. You know, I mean. You know, I don't know many Amanda's. I know, same. I feel like we're, I don't know, a name from the 80s that. Right. Exactly. Exactly. You just, you just hit the nail on the head. Do you know, though, that in Latin, it means she who must be loved? Yes, I do know that. Did you know I got a tattooed under my left boom? Do you know that I got a tattoo on my left wrist that says love? Because of what our name means. Oh my God. Well, I love that. The minute I found out, did you know that from like childhood or did you find out in the middle of life? Oh, okay. Yeah. I knew it from childhood. And then I now love those kinds of things, you know, finding out what names mean and, you know, numbers and horoscopes and all that stuff. Oh, you got into that stuff. So I didn't know. And then somebody told me and I was like, it all makes sense now.

had to tattooed on me. So I love that. We're trying to make our, you know, our names interesting, which is. Yes. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. You have had so much going on lately. So I'm sure you're super busy. There is a lot going on. But yes, I'm so glad that we got to do this. Yeah. And I saw that you're having your new movie fit for Christmas. Yeah. By the time this comes out, it's going to be out already on December 4th on CBS. and you're acting in it and you also executive produced it. Yes, and created it. And created it and wrote it and like had this whole epiphany that you wanted to write a Christmas movie. Yeah, I know.

It's crazy what life brings you and how things twist and turn and all of a sudden you're doing new exciting things that are, you know, I don't know. Yeah, crazy. Were you always obsessed with Christmas? I mean, so many people are.

Yeah, you know, as something, I was just talking to my mom and dad about this, that I feel so fortunate to have had like literally the best thanksgivings and Christmases thanks to my mom and dad. There's five of us in my family. We are all incredibly close. But the way that they did the holidays for us, it's so special. It holds such a special place in my heart and memory that I'm just forever. grateful for them because I think that's why I do love the holidays so much. And just now as being a parent, I feel like I'm falling short of creating that for Elvis. And I am like conscious of it. And luckily, he's only three. So I feel like I still have time to figure out, like, how to make it special for him the way my parents did for me. But I'm like super conscious of it because I have the best memories of being a kid during the holidays. Yeah, it's wild when you have kids like how holidays matter more. I have a son close to Elvis's age and I used to not care about Halloween like since

I was a kid, you know, because when you're in adult like 30s, it's either you go to a gross like Brooklyn underground Halloween party or or you don't. And with with a kid, all of a sudden, you're in it again. You're like trick-a-treating. You're decorating and you're right. There's a lot of pressure to like teach them the holidays and have them be into it and and you have to make all that happen. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I'm the same with Halloween by the way. And luckily this year brought me back round to liking Halloween again because I like you, I'm like, I'm not dressing up in some slutty costume going to an overpriced party to get drunk and be cold. in New York City. That was, yeah, 19 years of my life, too. So I was like, I hated Halloween

for a long time. And now we're back. And now they brought us back in. So how did, how did this come to you, this idea? Because like we said, you've had so much going on. You were doing Dancing on the Stars. You were doing, you're a host on, on, on the talk on CBS. You're a fitness instructor. You have a son. All of this is going on. By the way, Amanda Clutz is here, everybody. Let's give a proper, proper introduction. You are so loved. by the way it's you have a presence that is really felt you know i always see it when when things come up and and people are like i made a clue it's i love her i love her so just you know you know the people the internet people that are you know a hard crowd to please really really really really like

you so so yeah tell me how this came about this creating a christmas movie yeah this was before all of that when you started listing the things it's it actually this idea came to me in July of 2020. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep. It was very shortly after Nick passed. And Elvis was laying in bed with me. And I woke up. And when I wake up, he wakes up. And so we're just laying in bed. And I turned the TV on so that, you know, we had something to do. And the Hallmark Channel was playing Christmas movies to make people happy in July. They were doing Christmas in July during the pandemic. I don't know if you remember that. And, you know, know, these movies are notorious for being cheesy over the top, but they bring people joy and you don't really have to think when you're watching them and you just want the two people to fall in love and finally kiss at the end of the movie and you're so happy. And so I'm watching this movie called Christmas Cookies and Elvis is just laying by me just watching it too at one years old. And I thought of this idea. And I was like, you know, they've never done a movie about a fitness instructor. Like,

how come like why not like she could have a business and you know the business fails and she has to go against some big guy that's trying to buy out something from the big city and I start creating this whole plot in my head and I put it on social media that I'm watching this movie and it's making me happy and the Hallmark podcast sees it and asks me to come on their podcast and I'm talking to them on the podcast and I tell them that I have this great idea for a Christmas movie with fitness. And they put me in touch with a writer. And we bonded immediately the second we met. And then I pitched it to CBS. And they loved it. And they greenlit it. And all of a sudden, I was creating and executive producing and starring in a movie. Oh, the way things happen.

Wild. Wild, Amanda. Just like, I mean, that doesn't happen. I remember when I pitched it to CBS, I didn't really even understand what a pitch was. They were like, you have a pitch. And I was like, okay. I threw on a Christmas blouse and I was, I didn't even have anything written down. I was just like, there's this girl, Audrey Parker and she owns a fitness. And like I just started telling the story and they loved it. Oh my God. Wait, but did you, because you play Audrey, right? So when you were thinking of this and as the ball started rolling, did you have yourself in

mind to play her? Yeah, I did from day one because a lot of it was coming from my life, obviously being a fitness instructor owning a fitness business, fitness meaning so much to me. Yes. But then at the same time, I also realized that CBS had never seen me act. They, when I pitched into them, they had just hired me to be on the talk. So I was co-hosting. But, you know, I had nothing to prove that I could act or that I had acting skills. I mean, I was on Broadway for 17 years, but mostly dancing in the ensemble and, you know, never really having to do lines, let alone lead a movie. So, when they said, yes, you're going to be the star.

I was like, I mean, this is great. This is what I was hoping for. But wow, thank you for trusting me with this. Wow. You know, there's even a little bit of part of you that's like, can I do this? I hope I can't. I mean, you have to be a little, you know, delusional and just believe in yourself. And obviously you fucking did it.

So how long were you shooting for? I think I saw you were saying like, because you were filming this Christmas movie, but you were like hot like you did in the summer or something. Yes, yeah. We did it in 18 days in August. I literally have like a six-week break from the talk over summer. And we did it on that break. So we were in Vancouver for three weeks. And it was, yes, easily 90 to 100 degrees some days. You know, people are in their puffy coats and layers and you're sweating. I could have cared less. I was so happy that I didn't even care. All about Babies, Balvabies, no trouble. I'm getting better at singing. No. Okay, I don't know. So bass, B-E-I-S, not bass like the base of something and not bass like B-A-S of a drum. Base like the luggage, B-E-I-S, created by actress Shay Mitchell. Y'all know her. And listen, she made some good stuff because what freaking awesome

luggage makes you want to travel, makes you feel shake at the airport, they have cushioned handlebar, they have space extenders. They have all these. inner pockets and it's just not only comfortable but also chic and you just feel like it doesn't scream I'm going on a business trip it doesn't scream I bought this at TJ Max like it's just a really really good look that I'm really just annoyed that my family lives in the same building because they borrow my luggage and I'm cheeping out on my base luggage because it's so great okay it's sleek and it's affordable so buy your own fam buy your own especially because right now

base be i s is offering my listeners, 15% off your first purchase by visiting basetravel.com slash not skinny. So you have to go to base travel.com slash not skinny for 15% off your first purchase. Base is spelled B-E-I-S. So that's base travel.com slash not skinny to get 15% off your first purchase. And their luggage comes in multiple sizes and colors. They have a weekend or bag for shorter trips and just everything you need for traveling effortlessly while looking fashionable.

Was that your first, like, real kind of big screen filming experience? Well, I had done some stuff on screen. I did extra work in two movies. And then I was in The Irishman. I filmed a week with that movie in a dancing role. So I was, I've been on big movie sets, you know. I mean, the Irishman, I was with, you know, Martin Scorsese was directing us and, you know, Leo DiCaprio was just sitting there watching.

I mean, like crazy out-of-body experience, but I didn't have any lines. I was just dancing. So, yes, this was definitely the first time that I was leading a movie and acting on my own, you know, with people. Wow, that is so exciting. How are you feeling about the world seeing it? Are you nervous? Are you excited?

Yeah, I'm all of those things. I hope that they love it. I love it. I love how it turned out. I'm really proud of it. But of course, yeah, you know, you're putting yourself out there for the first time as an actress. So, you know, yes, I just hope that people like me and and find it genuine and, you know, fun and exactly what these movies, you know, hope to bring to people, which is peace and happiness and, you know, joy. Right. Well, that's so exciting. And I also want to know, is this kind of your, I know that everything kind of happened, but do you feel like that's the direction you would want your career to go in,

like acting? I loved it so much that I definitely got the bug and loved being on a film set and loved the creative process behind it, loved being an executive producer. So I do hope that there's more of that to come, however that may be. I think my favorite thing right now is, is that creative process, though, like thinking of something in my brain and then making it happen. And then when it happens, seeing that materialize is just like this. It's such a cool energy buzz inside me that it's, it's kind of my favorite thing right now. So whether that's just behind the camera, creating and doing, you know, executive producing or whatever, creating concepts or in front of the camera and acting, I love it all.

It's really fun. So we'll see. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed. And did you always know that you wanted? Because you said you were doing, you were a racquet. You were doing Broadway as a dancer and we're doing extra work and in films. Did you always want to be in this industry?

Was that your goal growing up? Well, goal growing up was definitely Broadway and the Rockettes. I set that goal when I was in sixth grade and I was like, Broadway Rockets, I'm there. And then, and I, you know, love. luckily did that and I did that for 17 years. But then when I left performing and started my fitness business, I really like, I made the change. And I did not foresee any of this coming, hosting a talk show, let alone acting in a movie. You know, that was very much my late husband. That was Nick and he was the lead actor. And I was running my fitness business. When I moved to

LA three years ago, that was my sole job and priority was making sure my fitness business was making money and running that. And I loved it. And it was so fulfilling and so, you know, keeping me so happy. So, no, this just kind of came up. It's fun. You know, it's fun to revisit it in this different capacity. Because obviously, Broadway is all of those things, acting, singing, and dancing. So it's fun to come back to it. And after thinking I was done and coming back to performing and doing it in this different medium now. It's really cool. And getting to still keep your fitness business and like even integrate that in the in the movie that you made. So you were talking about Nick and this story, you know, touched all of our hearts. I mean, I'm pretty sure there's not a person in this country that

doesn't know your late husband's story and battle that he lost to COVID. I remember seeing your stories at that time and how your community, but also the world was kind of praying with you and you were updating and you were keeping us all filled in on his and everything that was happening. And that was in 2020. First of all, I'm so sorry that you lost Nick to this awful virus. How does it feel now looking back like that whole time warp you were in? And how did you deal with that so gracefully. And how did you come out of that, how you are now? I mean, it's such a, such a incredible and crazy and sad story. Thank you. Yeah. I will tell you that it does feel like a time warp. You know, if you look back even on those like early days of COVID and what we

were all doing and how scared we all were to even just leave our house, it doesn't feel real, you know, like it doesn't. We all lived through it. We all. probably know somebody that was really affected by it. But now, you know, two years later, doesn't it feel like a weird like, did that happen? You know what I mean? Like, was that? Like, did we really just stay in our houses? Like everyone and nobody, you couldn't go anywhere and you were scared. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't feel real. So when I look back on that, sometimes I have to like remind myself that it did happen because it doesn't feel real. It sometimes just feels like Nick has been gone on a job and he'll be coming home soon.

I can't, you know, it's so weird to think that he's gone a lot of times. And if I look at pictures of during that time, I'm like I don't even recognize, you know, the situation or myself. that's how foreign it feels in a way. And then on the other hand, you've lived it. And obviously it is such a part of my life right now always that it just, it just becomes like, I don't know, it just becomes like a part of you that you have to live with every day. Do you know what I mean?

And he didn't have any preexisting like health conditions or anything that made it escalate. No, he was a perfectly healthy 41 year old man, which is again, yeah. And, you know, that's also really hard because the way people are getting COVID now and how they are so lucky to have symptoms, the way they have symptoms, a lot of times, not everybody, but a lot of people's symptoms are just a minor cold or, oh, I had brain fog for a day or, you know, people joke about it or laugh about it. That's really hard, Amanda, because I feel like sometimes they don't understand how lucky they are that that's their symptoms. when, you know, Knicks were so drastically different and how it affected his body

was so drastically different, how it affected my family and my life so drastically different. So I don't know. It's just weird, you know? It's just a really weird thing. It was a really weird time. But I will say I can't thank,

you know, you're talking about the internet community. The internet community at that time of my life saved me. They were a community of support and prayer and belief every single day. They cheered me on. They cheered Nick on. They loved my entire family, supported my entire family. And I, I know for a fact I could not have gotten through that alone. And I am forever grateful for all that support that we got during that time. How did you rally yourself to be his biggest, like, cheerleader and like have this optimism and day

by day because I remember you were giving updates and you know every new kind of thing that was happening in the hospital you were hoping that it would lead to to good news do we just like pull out shit that we don't know we have in our bodies in those moments like how looking back like how were you able to to to do that and in such a crazy time that you were dealing with this like insane thing yeah I think you are right. Right. I think that we surprise ourselves with what we can do in desperate times, you know, when you have to. And I get, I know I didn't have to do any of that, but I did feel like a responsibility when sharing next story at the time, especially again, when I first shared next story, what the news was reporting is that the people that were being affected by COVID were over 60 previous health conditions. And so, everything that Nick was experiencing was opposite of that. So I felt a, I felt a responsibility to share that, you know, just to bring awareness to people that, you know,

gosh, if your loved one is laying on the couch and just sleeping all the time, I don't know, maybe they have COVID because Nick had, that was his symptom, you know. But I do think that that in times of trauma and things, you rally this spirit inside of you, that you didn't even know that you had. And I think that definitely happened for me. I mean, I was fighting for my husband's life. I mean, what's more important than that? You know what I mean?

Especially in a pandemic. So, you know, and there was nobody or nothing that was going to tell me that he wasn't going to live. You know, I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it up until the day that I finally, like, you know, saw that he wasn't going to make it. but up until that day, nobody was telling me he wasn't coming home. It just wasn't an option. I'm, again, so sorry that that you went through all of that. How did you, how did you speak to your son about this at the time? Like, do you, is there, are there places to go that tell you? Are there, like, resources online? Like, how do you, I barely know how to, like, you know, teach Noah basic shit. You overthink everything. This is such a, you know, grieving and loss. Like, how did you know, know how to approach that. Yeah, you know, I, well, luckily, you know, when Elvis was, when Nick passed, Elvis was

only a year and a month old. So I, I didn't luckily have to say anything to him at that point in time. It's just now starting to become something that he asks me about. I've made Nick very apparent in his life. We listen to Nick's music all the time. I talk about Nick all the time we I remind him of his dad all the time so he it's it's interesting I feel like he's definitely trying to figure out in his mind what happened I've told him that his dad died it's hard to understand what he understands right now I'm just keeping it very basic and very honest because I just feel like to start that's really like in my way the best it for me and for us I think it's just the best way to go just to be very simple very honest

And then as he gets older, I'm sure more questions they're going to come, you know, about. And there are wonderful organizations and grief groups and things that you can go to. And I've really leaned on other widows and widowers and especially once with children just for advice, you know. So there's definitely many outlets to do that. But I think all in all, you kind of just have to do what's best for your family, you know. I haven't checked my credit score in three years because why would I do that? It's super hard. You end up signing up for like all the bureaus. You end up getting a Gillian email is being charged for things that you don't know and not even understanding what you're doing. So that's why Chime exists because at Chime, that's exactly what they do. So with their secured Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card, you can see. You can, start to build credit with your own money. So Chime reports your payments to credit bureaus to help you build credit over time. Their members see an increase of 30 points on average. So when Hussb moved

here, you know, with me in 2016, he had zero credit. I mean, he was a new, he's new here. And we didn't know where to start what credit means. And we didn't know, like, if you open the credit card, we'll go to the right place, like how many payments? So with Chime, you know that that's what they do. They're helping you build your credit. Okay. All of this is with no annual fees, no large security deposits or credit checks to apply. The Chime Credit Builder Visa Visa Credit card is issued by Stride Bank and North America pursuant to a license from Visa USA. Chime Checking count a $200 qualifying direct deposit required to apply with the Secure Chime Credit Build a Visa credit credit card. Regular on-time payment history can have a positive impact on your credit score.

Impact the score may vary and some of the user scores may not improve out of network ATM withdrawals. fees may apply except at money past ATMs in a 7-Eleven or at any all-pointer visa plus alliance ATM so start your credit journey with chimes sign up only takes two minutes and doesn't affect your credit score get started at chime.com slash not skinny that's chime dot com slash not skinny no i'm really in utter disbelieve that it's 2023 in a hot millisecond like we went from summer to Thanksgiving, to Christmas, to freaking New Year's in a heartbeat. But 2023 is practically here. But don't you worry where you're like, I don't have anything to wear for New Year's Eve because Macy's has got all the Near's Eve looks to start your year off right and bright. That's right, you guys. That's the vibe right now. It's flashy. It's shiny. It's bright. It's near Evie. You know, life is too short to be boring. So if you want to find like a shimmering mini dress for your midnight toast or your midnight hookup or hookups multiple, metallic accents if you're feeling low key or glittering jewelry and pretty much everything else

that plays up your light you can go to macy's dot com slash own your style ever since I wore metallic and shimmery and flashy to the PCAs I am now you know a fashion and style expert so no matter what sparkling glam you choose for this New Year's Eve you make it style go to macy's com slash own your style. Like I always tell you, Macy's has everything. Let's bring it back to the OG days of department stores where you bought mugs, kitchenware, cheats, and your newest New Year's Eve dress, all in the same place. Macy's.com slash own your style. What's so wild in your story is that after Nick passed away, I mean, was it, it was a little over a year that dancing with the stars? came about. Yeah, it was, it's, well, they asked me to do this season before mine and I really, really wanted to do it.

It was only a couple months after Nick died and I was like, I really want to do this. And I had a huge talk with my mom and dad because I knew that I would need their help if I was going to, you know, endeavor into this project, this reality show. And we decided that it was too early. And I'm so grateful that I waited a year later and they asked me to do that next season, season 30, because I now knowing the show and understanding the journey you go on, oh my God, I'm so thankful I waited because I needed that journey a year later. And I don't think I could have mentally and physically done it when they originally asked me.

But yeah, it was a year after. And it, oh my gosh, it came at the time. the best time. Amanda, it was like so healing for me, so wonderful to be dancing again, performing, became such a great friend with Alan Burstyn, my dance partner. And I had no idea how much I needed just like a male friend in my life after not having like a male in my life. So it was just, it was the best. I wish I could do it every year. Really? I mean, you're a dance. So I probably like, I know that for non-dancers, you know, ones that come from reality TV, their bodies go through crazy, you know, changes. And was it hard for you physically, too?

Oh, my God. Yes. My body by the end, I had, I still have an injury in my thumb. I could barely move my legs. I had like a rib out on my right side. My feet were completely torn up because each week you have to wear a different pair of shoes. to match that dance style and what happens when you wear a new pair of shoes you get blisters right and you build up those blisters over time when you keep wearing the shoe but just changing shoes every

week like my feet looked so disgusting i remember showing like i would show pictures on instagram but people would be like oh my god because i was like i just want you to have to understand that yes i'm a dancer coming in this competition does not mean this is easy for me or easy on my body because it was Certainly not. But again, I would do it over and over and over again. If they wanted me too, I'd be there every season. And you, I mean, you made fourth plays, which is like a big deal. Like, I'm sure your competitive nature would want, would want the, what is it called?

The, you know, my competitive nature only my, my goal was to get to the finale because I knew that once you're in the finale, you're doing all the dances that you were set out to do. And that after the finale, no one's still rehearsing, no one's still performing. And that was my biggest fear that if I got out like, you know, episode six, that that next Monday, I'd be watching the show and I'd be like, I should still be there. So I just wanted to make it to the finale. So I was so happy that I did. And truly, Iman, yes.

I mean, like he killed it and definitely deserved that mirror ball. So I had no bitter feelings. And usually when Alan has female partners, I feel like there are always rumors. But there were no, I feel like there were no romantic rumors about you two at the time. Yeah, there were few and far between. But, you know, we obviously never gave any of those. And, you know, I think we were both so grateful for each other's friendship. I think, you know, he knows how much he helped me.

I know I helped him. So we, yeah, we just became like best friends. I love that guy so much. I know, I mean, I still talk to him all the time. Oh, you do? There was also, because I was a bachelor fan. I know that I don't, I don't really keep up anymore. I've been yelled at by people to stop watching it in last few seasons.

But I remember also coming across you when people were really hoping that you and Michael A would get together. And then, because he is a widow, a widower as well. And then I think he like went to dinner or something and the internet freaked out. But that was also just friends, right? Funny because what was so funny to me about that is that if we were dating or on a first date, there's no way in hell I would take a selfie and post it. Like knowing that that's.

like a first man that people are seeing me with after Nick. Like, why would I do that? I know better than that. So it was so funny to me that people reacted that way because I was like, guys, I am not that stupid. I think it was just hopeful. I think it was, I think we like knew that the reasoning that you're saying. But I think it was like, maybe. But he is in a super happy relationship now. But how did you connect then? Was it because of the internet? Yes. So we connect. So his wife passed away a few months before Nick did. And so then after Nick passed and a couple months went by, we've connected through Instagram. I'm pretty sure if I remember correctly because so many people were like, you guys need to meet. You're both from Ohio, very close in Ohio. And you're both around the same age. You both have a son and he both lost your partners. So immediately when we DM'd and we got each other's phone number and we chatted. We chatted. on the phone for I think like an hour and probably could have chatted for five hours. And then when I was home in Ohio, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm home. We have to go out. And he was like, parents night out

absolutely because we both had babysitters because we were both at home. So we went out on the town in Kent, Ohio and had a blast. And I mean, I love Michael. He is such a great guy. And we obviously have a super special bond that we share in a club that we wish we weren't in. But I am. I'm so happy for him. He looks so happy and in love. And I, it just gives me hope that I can find that too because he just looks so happy. I'm so happy for him. I know.

It's such a win when people like that. And also, Danielle, I don't know if you ever, did you ever watch The Bachelor franchise? I didn't, but she looks adorable. Yeah. She also lost her fiance to, I think, like overdose. I don't want to misspeak, but, but. she was, yeah, her story is also, and she's amazing. She's like a nurse. Like she's not one of those, you know, bachelor people that, you know, just goes on to go on Instagram. So very happy

for them. And I love that you guys connected. You also, I mean, we just said you do so much, but you had a book that came out already about, about Nick. Yes. That is out for the world to read. And a book coming out, tell me your dreams. Yes. Tell me about that book. Yeah. They. This is a children's book that came to me just out of a nighttime routine that I do with Elvis. So ironically, back in 2019, when I had Elvis, I'm sure this probably happened to you too. You become a parent. You get very inspired by your children. And I had thought of like three or four children's book ideas.

And I tried to pitch them out and nobody cared. And that was fine. And then the pandemic happened, and then I, you know, I'm raising Elvis on my own. And so one night we're doing our bedtime routine. I have him in the rocking chair. And I just ask him if he wants me to tell him his dream. And he says, yes. And he was like, too.

And I was like, okay. So I, he loves trash truck. So I just started creating this dream about a trash truck that arrives in his room. and I go into this fantastical adventure and Dada is driving the trash truck and he gets to hang out with Dada the whole dream and then Dada at the end of the dream puts him back in his crib and says, I love you

and then Mommy comes in in the morning and wakes you up and you get to tell me everything that you did with dad. So that was like this new routine that we started doing and every night I would ask him the same question. He would say yes and then I would create a whole new fantastical experience that he would go on on his dreams. So then I am meeting with my book editors from Live Your Life, and we're talking about children's books, and I'm giving them the ideas that I had from 2019, and they're like semi-interested. And then I was like, you know what, actually, I've been doing this thing with Elvis, where I tell him his dream every night, and he goes on this adventure with dad, and they were like, well, what's that?

And I was like, well, I don't know. Maybe this is, maybe this is the book. And so then they loved it. And so we wrote it down, basically. I kind of wrote down my original fantastical dream story that I told Elvis. And it's going to be, it's for a pre-order right now. And it comes out in April 2020. I'm super proud of it.

It's been really fun kind of creating that children's book. I love reading it to Elvis still. And, you know, I just think it's a great way for, like we were talking about before, Amanda, like when you're a parent and You have to explain death to a child or explain loss to a child of a sibling, of a friend, of a grandparent, of an adult. I think this is a great way to kind of encourage them that in your dreams, you never know who you're going to meet up with. And you can see them and you can talk to them and you can go on adventures with them and that

they don't have to leave you. So I'm really proud of this book and how it ended up coming to be. oh that's so cool well not only am i excited for the book but i feel like it's such a good idea to just do with noah like ask him that question and make up i hope i can be like as creative but and then make up a story i love that i know you'll see because he if if he's like Elvis and i think he will like Elvis starts participating i'll be like well what color is the trash truck tonight he'll go green i'll go okay you get in a big green trash truck and you fly through the sky because now the trash truck fly and you know it's and they're like it's so cute to see their faces so yes i encourage you

to do it so rebecca went to yoga did downward dog and saw michael sweating from the hot yoga that didn't sound hot i'm sorry that's why i'm not a dipsy you know voiceover artist because that's not what i do but i do love dipsy i think dipsy is such an awesome app it's a sexy app full of hundreds of short sexy audio stories designed by women for women. They bring sexy hot scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes, realistic characters. You can find stories about an intriguing coworker with a British accent or hooking up with your hot yoga instructor. So it's really inclusive.

They have stories for straight and queer listeners and over 50% of stories are voice acted by people of color. So new content is released every week. You can listen to your favorite stories. again or you could find something new. They also have a soothing sleep stories, wellness sessions, and sexy stories you can read. But I think it's the most fun to listen to these sexy audio stories while you're folding laundry or while you're, you know, doing whatever. No one needs to know. Let Dipsy be your go-to place to spice up your me time, explore your fantasies, relax and unwind,

or keep things up with a partner. For listeners of my show, Dipsy is offering an extended 30-free day trial when you go to Dipsy Stories.com slash not skinny. That's 30 days of full acts. that's for free when you go to Dipsie. That's spelled D-I-P-S-E-A-S-E-A-Stories.com slash not skinny. Dipsystories.com slash not skinny. How is being a single mom? I know you've been doing it for two years, but how do you manage everything? I mean, filming the movie, doing the talk show, writing the book, pitching every day. How do you do it?

Being a single parent is really hard. It's really, really hard. Just even like, you know, just like the day-to-day things. of being a single parent is just like it's just a lot you know especially right now at three like he's starting to really have opinions and talk back to me and like test me and it's you know and doesn't want me to leave and doesn't want me to go to dinner because he wants me to stay home with him so there's like a lot of mom guilt that's coming in at the time right now so it is it's really hard I have a ton of help though I am not going to try to pretend that I do this on my own I have

hired help. I have friends that help. I have grandparents that come when I have to go film a movie and stay with him for three weeks. They're in Ohio and you're in L.A. So they would come, I say. Yeah. When I have like even with like dancing with the stars, my mom and dad moved here for three months so that I could do that job. Like they are rock star grandparents and I could not do it without them. I have a brother in San Francisco that will come down at the drop of a hat to help me. And, you know, it's hard because you really have to, you have to ask. I feel like I'm constantly asking for help, constantly asking for babysitters or for people to help for an hour or two, you know, because it's like, it's just tough. You can't, you know, you can't just leave

the house. You can't come home late. You can't extend the evening. You can't take the fitness class that you wish you could take because you have to get home and you don't want your son to have another babysitter. So you end up not working out that day or something or not doing something for yourself that would really like just that hour would really make you feel like a human being, you know? Yeah, you can't be spontaneous anymore. Let's put it that way. There's no spontaneity anymore. Wait, so just to, because I'm doing the, the timeline in my head, you were in New York before, right? Yeah. For how many years? 19 years I lived in New York. Yeah. Where did you guys live?

I moved when I was 18 years old and I went to. musical theater conservatory there before I started working on Broadway. I basically lived mostly on the Upper West Side. I had a seven-year stint in East Harlem, but other than that, on the Upper West Side. Oh, wow. So how was the move to L.A.? Horrible at first. I was not wanting to move. Ironically, always wanted to live in L.A. from Broadway tours, I had spent like six weeks here for shows before multiple times. And I love L.A. But at the time, Elvis was three months old. My mom and dad lived across the hall from us and my two sisters were blocks away.

So I just felt like we have a new baby. All my fitness business and clients are here. Everybody that knows you in the acting world, Broadway world for Nick is there. And he was dead set on moving to L.A. where we had nobody. We had friends, but we didn't have friends that we could like. guarantee help with Elvis with, you know. No one really was familiar with Nick in the acting world. So I was just worried about like auditions and work for him. And I had to bring my whole fitness business here. So and I was a new mom with a three month old. So it just felt like a complete

wrong turn for me. And I was really not happy at first. I was, I was in postpartum depression. I did not want to live here. I was begging and pleading to move back and hoping that Nick would understand and also want to move back that he wouldn't find work here and be forced to move back. But you stayed and you're still there. So how are you now? Are you feeling, are you feeling L.A.? Like home? Home and L.A. And now I go to New York and I'm like, how did I live here for 19 years? Like it's even just driving into that city the last time, I was driving it from Newark. And you see the city. And you're like, I couldn't, I was like, how did I live in this city for 19 years? It is so bonkers to me. And it's like so fast-paced and so crazy. God, I don't miss that. I really don't. I'm so happy here. I love the weather. I love having a home. I love having a car. I love my job. I love my friends and community here. So I actually now love Los Angeles, but it did take me a second. I'm not going to lie.

well you guys New York is great I'm just saying no I complain about it all the time I literally complain about it all the time and my followers are always like every time the winter starts I'm like why do I even what am I even and then the summer comes and you forget about it and spring day right that first spring day that usually hits like late May not April I know it's so many months I mean the winter started already and I'm like wait November December January January I'm like, is that 3,000 months that we have to deal with this? Are you like, you look at your puffy coat and you're like, I don't even care how cool I am today. I can't wear this black puffy coat one more day. I'm going to throw on more layers and wear extra hats and scars. I can't put this thing on one more day. Well, this happened to me yesterday, Amanda. I went to pick up Noah three blocks away from school and I didn't wear my coat.

night was like it's fine it's three blocks but you know when the wind is happening then nothing will help you i swear in my life you guys i acted like i was on an episode of survivor and i was talking to myself i was like mind over matter mind over matter i'm not even lying to you that i was mumbling this to myself the whole way and probably cried when i got home so don't i don't think it's a good idea to to not wear the coat but i did try this literally the other day okay i have some quick fire questions before we go, your favorite show right now. Oh, my God. I'm addicted to welcome to Chippendales and FireFey Lane. Oh, my God. Okay, adding that to my list, your 20s or your 40s? Oh, gosh. Oh, God. I've only spent half a year in my 40s.

20s. Oh, 20s are super exciting too. Now, I'll go with 40s. I'll go with 40s. Let's be optimistic, yeah. Coffee or tea? Coffee. Oh, good. I was like, you're like workouty person. Maybe it's tea. Wine or weed? Oh, wine. Yeah, weed doesn't ever really do anything for me. It'll make me go to sleep if it works. Yeah. Favorite thing to do with Elvis. And also I have to know, you named him after Elvis, I'm assuming, right? I did not. But of course, love Elvis Presley. I just loved the name. And I loved that it was a beautiful. music name because Nick was such a music guy. My mom loved Elvis Presley. Growing up, I knew of Elvis because of my mom, but I just loved that the name was unique without being weird, like table or chair, you know, like nobody names their kid Elvis, but it wasn't a weird name. It's actually like

an old Southern cool name, Scandinavian name actually. So that's what I loved about the name. And I loved how it sounded with Elvis Cordero and Nick, Amanda, and Elvis. Like, it just matched. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. But what was the question? Well, I just wanted to say that you're right, because with names for kids, and especially boys, because I feel like you could get wilder with girls.

With boys, it's like, you want to be a little special, but you don't want to make them be weird. So, like, a name that you've heard before, but not a name that, yeah. So it's super hard, but you, you, you, you, you have accomplished it. I asked what your favorite thing to do with him is. I love going to the beach with him. I love to try. I mean, I literally go probably every weekend.

I love the beach so much. I love getting out there and just running and just like the smells, the ocean, the sounds. Like, oh, God, it's like such a healing thing. So I love that. So she's not a New York City girl anymore. That's for sure. Yeah, she's not going to like Coney Island. Favorite thing to do without him?

I love going. to dinner with my girlfriends at Sunset Tower Hotel. Oh, okay. Noting that for myself as well. Yeah, you know, I just love that restaurant. It is so old Hollywood. They have like a band. It's dark.

It's fun. The food's good. The waiters now know me. Like, I have a table. Like, it just is fun. Like, I love feeling like I've stepped back into old Hollywood. So, or the Hollywood Bowl. That is my other, like, the Hollywood Bowl is like my favorite thing to do in the summer.

Okay. Well, she's full of ideals. She's full of recommendations. Amanda Clutes, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. It was such a pleasure getting to know you. You really are a light and you have so many things going on, you guys. So fit for Christmas. So it's on CBS. But where can people like stream it? Paramount Plus. After the debut on the fourth, it'll be on Paramount Plus. It'll live there. So please watch it. Rewatch it. Share it. Yes. And I'm sure everybody will. So Fit. for Christmas, you guys. Her book, Tell Me Your Dream is coming out in April. She's working out. She's doing all the things. She's on the talk on CBS. I mean, really just, I hope everything continues to be so great for you, Amanda. And for me too, because my name is Amanda too. So maybe, you know, all the Amanda's. All the Amanda's keep on thriving. No, really, thank you for coming on. It was so great to talk to you. It's so nice to meet you. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye.

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening. And I'll see you next Tuesday.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.