Not Skinny But Not Fat - LIVE WIRE w/ Kelly Ripa!

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

I got to sit down with America's sweetheart, the woman who's been in our living room for decades, Kelly Ripa!! I just read her hilarious, tell-all new book, Live Wire, and I'm obsessed. In the book, Kelly talks about her late former co-host Regis Philbin and on today's episode, she RESPONDS to the headlines! Just Thrive: TAKING THIS EVERY DAY IS THE ONLY THING THAT TRULY FIXED MY GUT ISSUES!!  justthrivehealth.com/discount/notskinny Macy's: Macy's is the GOAT! Head to macys.com to get all the season's staples. Match Dating: There’s never been a better time to try Match. Download the Match app today. KiwiCo: Get your first month of ANY crate line FREE at kiwico.com/NOTSKINNY50 Dipsea: Get an extended trial for FREE at www.dipseastories.com/notskinny Produced by Dear Media This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Okay, you guys, you know how people want to win the lottery, but you're like, have you bought a lottery ticket? And they're like, no. It's like, oh, do you think you're just going to win the lottery? The same goes for dating. You know, people that complain about being single think they're just going to meet somebody on the street, which that's a lovely romantic movie. And it could happen.

I'm not saying it can't happen, but you're being way more proactive and you're taking way more initiation and you're being way more out there if you're doing the work, like going out, like joining dating apps. And the dating app I want to recommend to you is Match. So Match the the dating app is pretty hot and bothered about this topic. Understandably, it's a juicy one. Match believes the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. So in a world where you can choose to do anything or anyone choose you first. Because dating someone who knows what they want and won't settle for less, that's sexy as hell. Be your own best friend with benefits. If they're the ghosting type, be your own boo. If they're only hot and you're only bothered,

make yourself hot and bothered. If you do you, you already know the best relationships show up when you show up for yourself first. There's never been a better time to try match. Download the match app today. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonifah on Instagram, where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture.

I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking to show with your best friends in your living room. Okay, you guys, today's special guest is host, actress, and now author. New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Rippa. How does that sound? It's still not registering. When the list came out a couple of weeks ago, and there I was, I was with a group of people.

I had just done Jimmy Fallon's show. And everybody is jumping up and down and screaming and yelling and crying. And I have no reaction because I had floated away somewhere because I was fully prepared to not be on the list. And so my only reaction that I had was one of devastation. That was my only, like, handy, my handy reaction that was stored up was one of disappointment and, oh, well, well, like, maybe people will buy it anyway, you know, blah, blah, blah. Like, I had talked myself into that headspace. So when I was on the list, then I had almost no reaction.

action. Everybody was like, I think she's in shock. I think. And so I was trying to like access the happy part of my brain, which seemed inaccessible at that point because I had tucked, tucked hope away and then allowed only possibility of devastation in. But is that like a method to like avoid disappointment? I think it's a method that certainly I utilize a lot. And I don't know anybody. that everybody in my world, in my headspace, in my friend group, even my friends who are full-time stay-at-home moms, homemakers, they operate from a place of prepare for the worst. And if it's not as shitty as you expected, then okay, good.

But maintain an even keel because it's going to be, I found, at least through the writing process, This book took me on a roller coaster ride and I was like queasy most of the time. So I started to adapt a flat effect to everything. That way I didn't, I didn't say, oh my gosh, this is poet laureate stuff, you know. Or I didn't say, this is garbage. I just stayed somewhere in the middle and that's. what how I this is where I attack everything from now. It's just this place of let's be nice and flat about it. So I thought it was so funny and so relatable and so easy to read and so like

there were moments where I lulled and like my husband was in the room and he's like, are you like laughing to yourself? Because I feel like your writing was so the way you talk. And like when you did caps like I knew what you meant by those caps, you know? And even the asterix on the bottom multiply the drinks by three. I mean, I won't give it all away. But I really, really, really enjoyed the book. And I felt like you talked about doing like the personal essay, like the essays versus just writing the memoir and how you took on like a harder task. So what was that? How did you decide on that at the beginning? The woman who would become my editor, Carrie Thornton. And by the way, I just want to say thank you for reading it. And I really, you know, I appreciate.

your voice because it's hard to write a book. I really ignorantly thought that because I read books all the time that I could suddenly somehow now translate that into writing a book, which is a way harder task. At least it was for me. I did it myself. I wanted to do it myself. I was steadfast in that. Like, if it's going to be written, I have to write it. But my editor, who the woman who would become my editor, Carrie Thornton. I can't believe you didn't take a ghost writer. You guys have to know that most of the books you read, especially by celebrities, even reality stars.

Like, I know for a fact from behind the scenes, like some reality stars that came out, like they're all using ghost writers. And Kelly didn't use a ghost writer, which is a co-they call them like ghost writers or co-write. Like, they help them put their thoughts. and, like, writing down. What was funny is that anybody who reads the book, it will be clear immediately that there is no ghost writing involved because I struggle in real time.

And it was very funny when the copy editor was going through it and correcting all the mistakes. And I kept saying, no, no, no, you have to leave those in. You must leave those mistakes. stakes in because that is a key to who I am. And the readers will get the, trust me on this, anybody who knows me or maybe doesn't know me, these are universal truths. Nobody understands a semicolon. Nobody understands when it is used. And I am going to struggle with that universally throughout. And I'm going to write about it in the book. And it needs to be left in

because people cannot feel alone during this reading process. So what was interesting was, so Carrie had been after me for 20 years to write a book. And I just shut it down, shut it down, shut it down. And then she came to me during the pandemic and said, you know, I think it's time for you to write your memoir. And I was like, memoir, are you crazy? Like I have so much else that I want to do. I'm at the midway point. I'm not memoir ready.

I'm not ready to write my memoir. She goes, what about a collection of essays? You're just so funny. And I said, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know if I can write. I have never written, I mean, I've written a couple of scripts that were sold but never made. So that's like, I'm like, that's not a good sign, you know. And I've written a lot of thank you notes that my friends think are really funny.

and I write punch up humor for my friend's speeches when they're giving speeches. But that's not like a book. That's not a book. Okay? So she said, do me a favor. Send me a writing sample. Write me a story and send it to me. And I wrote her the story that's in the book that I tell all of my friends.

This is my dinner party go to. This is the story that if Mark and I are on a couple's date with new people, he'll say, tell the Richard Gere's story. Oh, I was going to guess. I was going to guess the Richard Gere. And so I sent her the story. I wrote it down the way I tell it, you know. Is it a hundred percent?

Is it a hundred percent? Yeah, it's 100 percent. And literally, I don't think she even edited that chapter. Like, I don't think there was a single edit. Like, this is too long. This is to this. This is too. It was all left exactly the way I tell it.

And she got back to. me. And she said, you can write, keep going. And that was her. And then what was funny after this book came out, she started getting phone calls asking her who I used as my ghost writer because people wanted to use the person. And she said, oh, she wrote that herself. And they were blown away. So that was probably such like motivation, though, to keep going. It was. It was real motivation. And I think we all have these dichotomies in our personality where I have asshole syndrome and I think I can do everything because I saw it on TV and how hard can it be, right? And then I have self-doubt that lives in me throughout me and is constantly popping up saying, you know, you can't do anything right. you suck, essentially.

You know, so I've got like the angel and the devil. And one is like, you can do it. You saw it on TV. You used to watch Oprah. You can write a book. Right? And then the devil is like, or I don't know which one is which at this way. But one of the other voice is like, you sit down and shut it because you are good at

nothing. So shut it. You just have lips and a tongue, basically. And so, and I found that through this process, both voices were constantly chattering at me, constantly chattering at me. Just Thrive is my go-to probiotic. I have been complaining about good issues for a while. And the first thing that even my mother, who she's very, very good about this stuff, is like, you need to start a habit of taking a daily probiotic, not just taking one out of the blue,

taking it every day. And that's what I'm doing with Just Thrive probiotics because they really address the gut. Your gut, not your brain, is responsible for your stress response. So to manage stress and feel calm, you have to have your gut, get what it needs to thrive. So personally, I trust Just Thrive probiotic because it's recommended by some of the biggest names in the health industry and it's a game changer for gas, bloat, and constipation. And really, I mean, I feel it in my body. What comes from my gut is everything. Like, it could cause me anxiety. It could cause me chest pain. It could cause me bloating and headaches and whatnot. So I'm really committed on this Just Thrive probiotic journey to get my gut to a better.

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Really? Educated was my favorite book when it came out. I bought it for, I bought maybe 50 copies of Educated. I gave it to all of my producers, my children, friends, relatives. I was like, you have to read this book. It is the most inspirational, aspirational, overcome anything and everything book. And then I thought it was so funny, if I called my book, uneducated,

because, you know, I graduated high school. I became an actor. I moved to New York. I am fundamentally uneducated. I have no writing credentiality, new word, whatsoever. I have no area of expertise in, anything that I've done in my life. And so I thought it might be funny to call it uneducated. And maybe people will accidentally buy it because they think it's educated, but they miss the

un part. Because that was my whole marketing strategy. The cover of my book, if you notice, what's so funny is my son's coach got me a pillow. Yeah, there it is. But my son's coach got me a pillow with my book that's now casually. Oh, I see it. Oh, that's cute. Isn't that funny? But the publishing company did not want me to use that photo on the cover because I was not looking into the camera.

Apparently, that's a big no-no in the publishing world. You have to make eye contact with the camera. But I thought, hear me out, I thought I looked like Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover. And my strategy was, maybe people will think. it's a book about sex in the city. Yeah, it has Carrey Bradshaw vibes. So listen to this. My mom is recovering from heart surgery.

And the first advanced copy came out, like, right when she was out of surgery. So I wanted to, like, cheer her up and bring her this hard copy. And her nurse was there in the room. And her nurse is this Irish lady. And she said, oh, Kelly, you've written a book. about the girl from sex in the city have you? And I was like, it's working. My marketing strategy of people accidentally discovering my book. And it being not what they expected was like for me psychologically. I know. But you're so interesting because you do talk about imposter syndrome in the

book and how you didn't even know what it was. And then you thought you didn't have it. And then you thought you had it. But it is interesting because the fact that you, Kelly Rippa, who's been in this industry for a million. years and almost every household in America knows you, you think you have to sell the book through like Carrie Bradshaw. Yeah. Well, but it makes sense, though. If you read the book, it totally makes sense.

No, I know. I love, I love the SJP mentions. I also love there are so many relatable things. The fact that you repeated the, I should be thankful for my three healthy children. Like, you're not Jewish, right, at all? It's like a Jewish thing. No, I am not. But my friends who are Jewish, they claim me.

They're like, you were raised to have a very Jewish mentality. Yeah. And you are one of us. We claim you. Although I am Catholic. So that is like, there are like parallel religions. There's a lot of similarities. The gills and the, yeah.

And totally, when you repeat, I love that how there were certain threads in the book that just kept on coming like the I just need to be thankful for the three healthy children I was like literally as we were going off on this book tour and I and I was I was literally like who would even want to come see me you know I was just like why am I doing this I thought it was over once you write the book and then you hand it to the and then people buy it or they don't and and everybody said are you out of your mind now you're on a book tour you're on a book tour you're on a book tour, honey. And so as the voices started going, one was like, you can do it. This is New Jersey. These are your people. Nobody likes you. And Mark would be there going, you have three

healthy children. I love you. Nobody can ever take it. And Bethany Frankel was like, she's like, I said, what if nobody likes the book? And she goes, and then what? Like she was my, She was my co-concierge. Mark was my psychiatric nurse. I had, like, people, like, propping me up. Because this is another thing I feel like people might be shocked about in the book is that although you're on television every day, you have, like, stage fright and fear of public speaking, which did I go and Google you at the GLAD Awards? Yes, I did. And I highly recommend. I mean, you said it in the book. You were like, go YouTube it. Google it. YouTube it. Get there. You'd be amazed how many people, like, at these book events said, I googled the Glad Awards. It's amazing. It's amazing.

It's bellbinding. Because as you can tell, my mouth goes bone dry. And I truly am in another, in my defense, I had never taken in a Xanax before. So I, and certainly not with a vodka. So, you know, these two things apparently are. No, no, knows. And was I relaxed? Yes, I was. But I still, there's no amount of Xanax that's going to control my own reaction to public speaking. You guys, think about it. She's on television every morning, but you explained in the book how it is different, like the public

speaking, making a speech versus TV. But I love that part. Yeah, because at that point, it feels like, it feels like people are in my living room, right? So, well, when we're doing the show, they're in my house. I'm not freaked out when people come into my house. But when I go to somebody else's house, I'm like, I don't belong here, shouldn't be here. They probably are going to think I might steal something. Wait, and did you go on air the next day and say that you took a Xanax? Yes.

I did. I mean, that's my confessional. I let it all. I mean, it's, it's, I am an honest person. I come from a place of honesty. I don't think that there's anything, you know, like I've been doing live, the talk show for 23 years and you don't survive very long there if you're not comfortable telling people who you are, how you are, and what you are.

And so it's all played out for all. all of these years. People know these things, but they don't know how deep it runs. And I think that's what the book in the book is like, clarifies, this stuff runs deep. This is who I am. It's not, you know, it's, it's meant to look easy, but it's not easy. It's challenging. Everything that we all do, these are universal truths. People go to their jobs every day, right? And what we don't take into consideration. Say, say I'm going to a doctor's appointment. And I assume everything behind the scenes is running smoothly. But I don't know that. People could be going through deep, deep things in their lives that I'm unaware of. And I could be going through deep, deep things in my life

that my audience is unaware of. And if I've succeeded in making them unaware, then I've done my job correctly. But once in a while, because I'm a human being, I let it all hang out. It all hangs out. And I think that's what's kept people maybe interested for, you know, the 23 years they've allowed me into their living rooms. Maybe that's, you know, it's that tune in factor of, well, you never know what she's going to say or do. So it better, better tune in, You know, because that's what it is. It's live TV. There's not a safety net.

We don't have safety nets, you know, except for those, you know, once in a while tape days. We don't have a safety net there. Okay. Holidays are coming up. It's super difficult to find a holiday gift that keeps the kids excited after the 30 seconds that they open it. But I have one for you. It's Kiwi Co. So Kiwi Co-crates are amazing and they deliver fun for all ages.

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We're actually 27 years together. But as if that one year makes it somehow so much more legitimate. No, I'm deeply in love with my husband. How long have you been married? We're together for like 12 years. 12 years. So you're in it. We're in it.

And we just had a baby two years ago. And I, like, pretty much didn't like him the first year of the child's life, I feel like, you know? And I'm getting nicer now. He's like, wow, like, you're getting nicer. It was a year of, like, me being not nice. But you are like, he doesn't have bad breath. He always looks at me. But you know what that means, Kelly.

I want to tell you, and I wrote a note to myself a mental note. I think he could. But I think you're so in love still, which is wild, that you don't smell it. What do you think? I don't know because it's funny. Like even when our kids were little, you know, your kids are like, oh, they, they are just the truth tellers of the world. They're like, Daddy never has bad breath. They say it.

Okay. So the kids say it. But mommy. And I'm like, yeah, well, my breath smells like fear. So there you go. Well, one of us is totally relaxed and one of us is afraid all the time. But do you think his hotness, his hotness is a common thread in the book? You can't stay away from, I mean, you could tell he's an amazing dad and husband, but, but there

is emphasis on the hotness too. I think that the emphasis on the hotness is more of like my own, my own, like, I am in disbelief all the time because I, Kelly Ripper from Berlin, New Jersey, who minimally like when I, like, if they had this category in my high school, girl most likely to fly beneath the radar and be totally like nothing I would have taken that crown like I would have been in the yearbook like me just sitting there like you know and to you know to level up it's just like I'm always amazed that I maybe that's the trick to like marry somebody I wonder I wonder if like historically that works for other people like don't marry the guy because everyone says like marry

your best friend, which he was, but like, don't, oh, people actually say make sure they love you more than you love that. There's all these tips, but I wonder because your story is so romantic and like really one in a million kind of. And you in the book tell the story of how you meant and how you dreamt about him before being the father of your kids and how you like new looking. So, and I always think to give advice to my single friends, like, that's the guy you don't end up with kind of vibe. You know, like not the guy you're like obsessing over and dream about and think is like but for you it worked on paper it should not have worked i say it all the time i'm like how are we still married why how did we like did we make a deal with some you know this one again like how how did it work it shouldn't

have worked. It doesn't make sense. You should not. Like, I married my crush. It's very counter everything. I, but I am like you. I feel that you're a pragmatic person. I feel that you're a practical person. I am the same way. I am very practical. And this practically made no sense at all. Like, first of all, marrying an actor, that's, that was like on my no list. Like, I will never marry an actor because there is no stability there, right? But not only did I marry an actor, I married my co-star, which is rule number two. Do not involve yourself with your co-star because that never works. What if I'm falling in love with his character?

You're right? What if it's his character I'm in love with? But as it turns out, I went against the grain of like that other voice that is like, this will never work. You shouldn't do this. This will be ultimately bad for you. And I decided to take this change. He was very convincing also.

He was super convincing. He's a very persuasive person. And here's the other thing. This cannot be understated. He's a kind human being. When you seek kindness, you know, I watch him with his parents. I watch him with my parents. I've watched him with our nieces and nephews.

And he is kind. He shows up. He's intellectually curious. When he asks you, you know, he'll say, you'll bump into him one day, Amanda. And he'll say, how are you? How's your husband? How's your baby? And he will actually listen to what you said and he will remember it the next time you speak.

I don't know anybody. Like besides Tom Cruise that does that. Yeah, that's a good quality. It means a lot. It means a lot when people remember, I feel like that's such a good method. If you're not instinctually like this, maybe do it. And then people will, like, feel really good. You know what I mean?

That's why I journal. I journal. Andy Cohen told me, he's like, you've got to start journaling, write everything down, write as much down as you can remember. And because I have that ability where I'm sometimes half in my body, sometimes have a sometimes multiple people are talking to me at the same time and I'm trying to and also you meet a lot of people every day I do I meet a lot of people every day it goes with the territory and and so I find myself surrounded by multiple conversations and I do want to

give each person their attention because I know what that feels like I know what it feels like to talk to somebody that means something to me and to have their half attention or to not to know that it's not like landing right yeah and I don't ever want to do that sometimes it's unavoidable like when there's multiple people say at a book event which is new for me right right and I am like okay hang it hang on because I need to hear this and then I want to hear that you know and then people saying we've got to go we've got to go we've got to move we're going to miss flight to the next book event, you know, and so you're just like, DM me and I will respond to you. Oh, that's so nice. DM her and she'll respond. Well, I wanted to just tell people, if you're

feeling bad for a moment, you're like, oh, my God, Mark is so perfect. Why, you know, is my husband not like this? He does have a few flaws that you write about in the book and that are so like, I always wonder if all men are the same. And his flaws are man flaws. There are things that happen. Like when you said the Mark would die at a level three pain, I mean, every, you know what it's like to live with a, like a man who's sick is like the worst. This entire book, this collection of essays, is about universal truths. There are universal truths. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're a woman or a man.

I don't care if you have a fancy job, a fancy job. Or, you know, you work in at a, at a, you know, at a. $5 an hour, whatever it is. There are certain universal truths to this book. And one of them is that men's pain thresholds are so far askew from women's pain thresholds. And that is, those are the facts. Every time I went into labor, he passed out. I am thinking is and I may and he says it's because he has empathy and he feels the contractions

the same way except that no you don't because you are not feeling them at all so I know that you psychologically think you're peeling them but you only passed out whereas if you were actually feeling them you would have jumped through the plate glass window of the hospital and ended it because it's that intense as you know. I did a question box after I gave birth. I was like, tell me

the stories of your husbands at your birth. And when I tell you it was the most entertaining thing of my life. Like, they were all the same. They're all complaining about the chair. They're fainting. They need a nurse for some reason.

They need to go in and rest. They're tired after it's wild. So you have a a lot of that in the book that like, like you said, it's universal truths that are so relatable, like you hovering, you know, and I'm at that stage still with my son, like when you put your baby to sleep and you're like the hovering and then touching a little and then the walking away and the crawling. And what you do, the hovering ninja to things you do to not wake a sleeping baby. And then like your elbow cracks or your knee cracks. And that's when you wrote that, I was like, oh my God, how does she know?

Like, literally, the first time you'll notice your bones crack so much is when you have a baby and you're trying to leave the room. Like, it never happens in other places. We WD-40ed everything in our house that could be WD-40ed. What is that? Because it's this thing that it's like a lubricant for the door. So when you open the door, it doesn't creaky. Or when you touch things, they don't creak.

because we started noticing a creaky quality to everything because the creek would wake him up. Now, don't get me wrong. He would sleep through, say, a fireworks explosion, oddly. Like fireworks going off and he's out like a light. But when we were trying to, a bone cracking and he's like, what? Or if Mark, like, if we were trying to have sexy time, say. Mark's zipper unzipping, he would be like, what? Huh?

And we were in this tiniest little apartment. You can't imagine. It was me, Michael, our newborn baby, Mark, and every Consuelo is known to man. They came from the four corners of the universe. And I was like, we'll get you hotel rooms. And they were like, no, we'll stay here. Yeah. And I always said in our, we have a 400 square foot apartment.

It was just bodies everywhere, everywhere you could think of. Oh, my God. As you guys know, I am now a full-blown Halloween mom because now that I have a baby, Noah's so into it. So I'm so excited that I'll be able to get everything at Macy's from costumes to decor. horror. So it's just so great to get everything done in one place. Spooky season is here, as you know, from like Instagram. Halloween is practically here, you guys. You're going to see the celebrities and their costumes from now.

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You're not always BFFs with your co-worker. No. I mean, I mean, that used to be like considered like professional. But in certain rarefied jobs and I think I have one of them, that's like an expectation. not so much of the people that work with you or around you, but the audience maybe expects that. And I think that's a very hard pressure zone to put on two people. I don't think it should be there. I think that friendships either evolve organically or they maintain their professional level organically. And I think most are, it should be celebrated.

people want to like imagine that the chemistry translates to off screen hanging out like being besties and all of that yeah and you know like I said regis and I only hung out together a handful of times off camera but they were some of the best off camera times of my life like I still laugh about his ability to hold court and to basically be a stand-up comedian at any dinner or any wherever, whatever it was, it was the funniest night. He had that ability. But when you're a new person joining a well-established show and a well-oiled machine, and if you read the book, you know this, I take his side in this entire argument. He should not have had to have a host assigned to him. That's not fair. He paid his dues and he established this show. And I really advocate for him in this book. You know, it's hard to strangers from two completely different generations putting them together with such different backgrounds and different, like I was not

a Hollywood insider. You know, I did not, I did not. I did not. I did not. spend years in the business establishing a rapport with people. I was from Berlin, New Jersey. I got lucky. I auditioned for the soap opera. I was a teenager. I got this job. I never went to college. I did not have any connections into show business. It was like luck and tenacity, luck and tenacity and maximizing your opportunities. And so it's like very, very divergent people coming together into this workplace. And, you know, I felt for him because he was so famous and was so well established. And these are things that I didn't know at the time, but they were explained to me over the first few years that I worked there. You know, it's like once you start your job,

it becomes clear. Oh, I get it now. You know, when I first, I didn't even think I was auditioning for the show. I thought I was just filling in for the day. That's what I was told. And I was told they weren't looking for a host. And I was like, no problem. I already have a job. I am very overwhelmed as it is. I, you know, I have a toddler. I was pregnant. Nobody knew that. You know, it's like there were all of these things going on in my mind. I was trying to to figure out a way to, like, get off camera and stay there, you know, because I had my hands full. I really had my hands full. And I didn't want to go through all of this again, you know, there was no maternity leave.

You're an independent contractor. So I just did not have, like, that in me. And so I sort of walk, you know, if you're reading this one chapter in the book, because it's like, like, you know, it's a very small. portion of the book, but I feel like I needed to talk about my work life a little bit and how I wound up doing what I've been doing for 23 years. But it was a very disquieting position to be in to suddenly have this opportunity handed to me and rapidly so. And I had no area of expertise in this field, but when has that ever stopped me? But I really was very very, very, very, insecure about my own ability. But I was hyper sensitive to the feelings all around me that

this was, this was like new and unusual terrain I was waiting into. And I couldn't put my finger on it. You know, I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't until it was like sort of explained to me between these two battling forces within the company that I didn't even know existed. I was so eager. I was just an actor on a soap opera. I didn't know any of that. Do you think, Kelly, that Regis, looking back, would have wanted the show alone or would have wanted a co-host that was, like you said, more like in the industry, more, you know, had more years under their belt? I can't answer that. I mean, I certainly didn't think he needed a co-host. I mean, I You did it alone. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I found myself watching the show the first, you know, the first few months I was there, I would just watch the show, but sitting like in a really good seat, you know. And I was, if I was a gog, you know, and I would watch the show and listen to the stories. And then, you know, a cue card would go up, you know, saying, ask a question. Because I was so into watching the show. I barely managed to eke out anything. So I can't get into what he wanted or would have wanted. I just know from my perspective, he certainly didn't need me there. I was not like, I didn't feel like I added anything to him. At the beginning, you're saying, not. Yeah, at the beginning.

At the beginning. But people, I think, related to me. and my, you know, weird discomfort and my star-struckedness. And it's something that has never waned, you know, I, people go, how can you still be star-struck? And I go, well, you sit in a room with Dwayne the Rock Johnson and tell me how not star-struck you would be. Right.

Right. So I think what people, because like you were saying about friendships on the job, because we're like, oh, they look so like chitty-chattie, how aren't they doing this all the time? But you go into the book and you do mention some things that were hard at the beginning behind the scenes that you even say at some point you're like, if I knew all of this, I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. No, if I had known going in, I wouldn't have done it. And how sad for me. Yeah. Right. How sad for me. Luckily, ignorance is bliss. There's a certain that saying is true. Ignorance is bliss. I didn't know.

that there was so much infighting between these two factions and that I was considered like a network girl, which is so ridiculous. I was one of a 40 member ensemble cast on a soap opera, right? So I didn't consider myself and anything of anything. I considered myself just an actor. Everybody talked to me like I was a network broadcaster for decades. And I was an actor on a soap opera. our job was to play other people and to say the lines and to make love on camera and all of that, right? Like we were playing roles on TV. Suddenly, they were breaking down Nielsen ratings to me, minute by minute, market by market, affiliate by affiliate. I didn't know what an affiliate was.

I had no idea what they were talking about. Don't mention this because we're on NBC in that market. And I'm thinking, what are they talking? Why are they? And it's this thing that nobody sits you down and says, here's the story. This is what's up. This is what you need to focus on. This is how we expect you to comport yourself on the daily.

This is this and that is that. There is no clasks for it. You just sort of show up one day. you pick it up as you go, you pick it up as you go. And sometimes you were expected to psychically pick up things that weren't necessarily stated out loud or said out loud. And I think when you come into a well-established job as privileged as that is, because that is a rare position of privilege, because I have friends that have launched talk shows and they say to me, you didn't tell me it was going to be this hard, or you didn't tell me it was going to suck this much,

You didn't say, and I'm like, look, I've never launched a talk show. I've since relaunched versions of a talk show, but I walked into an established show. So I know that that is hard establishing a show. It can, like, bond people together. Like, we are in the trenches together. But I came in, like, as an outsider. And that is like, you are trying to find your footing. And I think that, you know, every single person reading this book has been the new gal, the new guy, somewhere.

And this is the chapter that, you know, on the book tour, people came to me and said, oh, my gosh, I relate so much because I just joined wherever this place. I'm a nurse at a hospital. And when I got there, I felt so, like, unsure of my own ability. that I was so certain of before I got there or, you know, you name it. People really dialed in and drilled down on how relatable it is to feel like you don't fit in. Even kids that are like, I just switched schools. This spoke to me. So I'm really offended that Dipsy hasn't offered me yet to narrate one of their shows, okay?

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nothing that like you didn't even know what's happening? Do you think that was taken out on you like in the daily? Because you explain in the book and you guys, if you read the book, you'll get it. Like there's there are people that wanted you there. There are people that didn't want you there kind of a thing. That's what I mean. And do you feel like that was the essence of kind of the hardship you experienced at the beginning? I think, yes, I do. I actually do think that that was the essence of a lot of the

hardship because it is hard to get the audience is the audience wants the continuity of the show they're watching. They like that. And anytime you are the new person, there is going to be a level of what's this about? And I think. think the reason the audience took to me and, and I'm so grateful they did, the way they did and as quickly as they did is because I was struggling publicly. And maybe people didn't recognize it as a struggle, but they recognized something in themselves that they saw in me, a person real, real unsure as to what it was they were doing. And it just so happened that this person that was real, real, unsure as to what they were doing,

just happened to be doing it on live television every single day. And that was, you know, it makes you humble real fast. There's a humility aspect to it. I learned real fast to take any portion of my ego that I had left because I had been an actress at that point for 12 years. So any remaining ego I had was pretty much gone. But whatever was left, I took it and I just, you get rid of it. You know, and Michael Gellman gave me this really our executive producer for 800 years,

this poor man. Wait, he's still the executive producer? He's still the executive producer. Wait, the man that you couldn't look in the eye is still the executive producer. Yes. Is there? Oh, my gosh. Yes.

Yeah. But that was not like, it wasn't like, they just didn't want me looking him in the eye on camera because then it might cause people to turn and see what I was looking at. And I guess unbeknownst to me, other hosts had been doing that a lot, turning around to see. Oh, so it wasn't, don't look at Galman like, like don't make eye contact because he's so. Oh, got so, got so. Okay.

Right. It's like, don't make eye contact me with him on the set because when you do, people tend to turn around to see what you're looking at. Yeah. Right. And I didn't know that. I didn't understand that. It wasn't really explained to me. It was just like, don't look at Gellman.

And I was like, okay. But then he came into my dressing room. And I was like, wait, don't look at him here. So now I'm not looking at him there. And he seems real down to earth. I wasn't understand. I was like, is he a diva? He doesn't seem that way.

I don't know. So we like laugh about that because it's like these things that nobody really explains to you why they just tell you the words. Because they got to get you ready fast. Right. It's fast. You get there and 15 minutes later, you are on camera. So it's fast. These like, don't do this, do this, do this, do this.

Don't do that. You know what I was picturing when you were describing the atmosphere and everything. I was picturing the more. morning show with Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. That's how I was trying to like envision it, like how it's so crazy in the production. Is it something like that at all? Okay. So this is going to make you laugh.

When that show came out, my husband watched it. He was in Vancouver and I was in New York. And he's got a bunch of his friends around that show. So he, you know, tunes in. The morning show is what we call our show, which is really funny. and then a few people on the set had watched it. And they go, don't watch it. You'll find it triggering.

So there are similarities. Apparently there are. I can't, but I can't comment on them because I have not seen it. Oh, you listen to their advice. You were like, okay, I won't watch it then? Yeah. Oh. Because these are people who really care about me, right?

These are not strangers telling me. These are people that, like, I work with every day. my husband who loves me, my producers who love me. And they're like, it might send you into a bad headspace. You shouldn't watch it. I mean, you do. The show and you both kind of break down the like, this isn't as glamorous as you think. You know what I mean?

Oh. To say. Or at all. Or at all. I did want to, because I was shocked kind of when I saw Regis's former co-host, Kathy Lee, do an interview of her own on Fox with Rosie. Susanna Scotto. So this, like, made a lot of headlines, although when I went in to kind of read what she said, she didn't read the book. She was just, quote, very sorry to see the headlines.

You never know what's true or what's not. She says, what's the point? I'm not going to read the book. I know what Regis was to me, my friend. And this triggered me for you because now I'm like, you know, through the book, feel like I know you, said she was just hoping the Lord Protects Joy Regis's wife and the girls, which that felt like, wow, like Lord protect them as if, you know, what you wrote was so harsh. So you spoke in the book about like narratives and correcting them and everything. So I did want to ask you about that so you could do that. Right. So it's a conundrum for me, right? Because I, again, I didn't see the interview. So I tend to like not go into deep dives about things I can.

can't comment on because I haven't seen them. And then I write this entire chapter is about correcting the record in real time. Do you do it? Should one do it? theoretically, should a person correct the record in real time? Or should they not even, you know, comment on it? Because here's the thing. It's like I talked to the people who read the book. I knew writing a book was going to open me up to all sorts of criticism, right? But people who read the book have a very different take on those chapters because they read the book. And so I don't, I'm not like, I'm a big free speech person, right?

I think that we should all be able to speak. And so, you know, I'm also here to not. advocate like you don't have to read every book. Nobody has to read every book on earth. And the comments I've gotten about those chapters have been overwhelmingly positive. And the people who read the book took away a lot of positivity from it. It is ironic that it is that chapter where I talk about what do I do in these situations? Do I advance a media narrative with clickbait and all of that stuff? Or do I just drop it?

What did we decide on? I couldn't understand. Do we decide it? Do we address or do we drop it? Here's what I've decided. Here's what I've decided. Are you ready? Yeah.

It is really hard to sell a book. It's really hard to sell a book, right? And this is like week three. of the book, right? And, I mean, honestly, I'm not going to lie. I was not reading any headlines anywhere. And suddenly, all of these headlines pop up. And there's all of this attention on my book. So I am a person that tends to take a negative and turn it into a positive. And so my ultimate, my ultimate comment is, thank you. I mean, it's like really hard to, get attention on a book that's been out for a couple of weeks. And now it's week two,

second week on the New York Times bestsellers list. It's like, thank you. Because I think that people that read the book will have a very different take on the book. Do you think that if she specifically, if Kathy Lee read the book, would she have a different take, do you think? I think anybody that reads the book will have a completely different take on any any person that reads i mean it's interesting in general you guys to do an interview about a book that you didn't read when asked specifically about the book i'm saying of course you don't have to read every book but i'm saying if you're asked about a book you didn't read and you base it on the headlines which by the way i did google and i did look which you said you didn't. And I didn't see, you know, horrible headlines about the Regis stuff. Like,

I didn't see what she kind of insinuated. There were none. There, there weren't. It's funny. I, I, I kind of went. I, I said to Mark, I was like, was there? Did I miss? Because I do miss a lot. I don't like, I actually have a thing on my phone where I don't get alerts. So you know how you can have like Google alerts? about yourself. Gellman has Google alerts on me. I know because he tells me, right? And so the only headline that came out was that my husband made me pass out during sex. And so that is the, so I don't even know, like, it's literally headlines created suddenly out of,

are those the headlines? So are we thanking Kathy Lee essentially for doing the interview? I'm just saying it's like, it. really got a lot of suddenly there were headlines. Well, because you guys, people want to hear from her because she was actually or so she, she says best friends with him off screen as well, right? Yes. If that's what she says in the interview, again, I didn't.

Yeah, she does. I'm like, on the opposite. I don't comment on things I don't know about. So I don't know. So, yeah, she says that they were really close. Mm-hmm. To give people a little bit of a glimpse into that chapter, how would you, how would you describe that chapter about your time working with Regis? And if you said anything, correcting narratives and kind of about how it was hard to work with him at times and you weren't treated like an equal, what can the readers expect from that chapter?

Well, I think it's more, it's more about, like, I keep, I keep going back to the office, you know, this sitcom. It's a workplace tromedy, but it's not really, you know, if you read it, if you do the deep dive, I take his side in most of the chapter. I am sort of on, I'm like on his side because I don't think, and again, at the time, I didn't know this. I had no awareness that this was not a choice for him. I didn't know I wasn't a choice for him. No, but Kelly, there were things that he said that I triggered me, like, you know, make sure you know who your boss is. He called you it.

So that wasn't, the entourage thing. He didn't say, make sure you know who your boss is. It was the network, W-A-B-C was calling my agent to let them know that they were my boss, not ABC. That was the make sure you know who your boss is. So it's like W.A.B.C. was telling my agent to let me know that they were my boss, not the network. Not the network was not my boss. And I still could not for the life of me understand what the fuck anybody was talking about. I had to read your description of trying to explain that. I was like, you know, when you read a page, you're like, okay. So it's so it's hard to explain. Hence, a picture. A thing.

30-year-old woman who's pregnant, who has a toddler, who has a job where she works 12 hours a day, trying to conceptualize what they are talking about. I was like, okay, okay. So I referred to everyone as my boss. I'm not kidding when I say this. I would, like, maintenance people I would introduce to my parents as my boss. There were people, everybody became my boss because I wasn't sure who my boss was. Nobody ever told me. It was just this. So I learned in hindsight that WABC was letting me know that they were in charge and ABC was not in charge. Again, it's so ludicrous. It doesn't make any sense, but it was something I had to contend with because I was still, don't forget, work.

at ABC. And then, so I was constantly traveling between the two jobs, which by traveling, I mean walking down the street. I was constantly traveling down the street. But it was like hard to have this. And when you start working someplace, and again, I learned quickly because I'm kind of a fast learner you learn when somebody is laughing with you versus laughing at you and there was a long there was a there was a there was a long time of laugh at before the laugh widths began like you

went through you went through like a initiation vibe yeah of course yes i mean yeah there were a lot of moments where you you know you described your the beginning and it did have to do with regis i mean we don't know if it's the network the wabc whatever but like we said yeah that's the thing that's never clear. I'm like, who is speaking? Is this one person speaking or are these many people speaking is our? I don't know is the point. I don't know. And as time went on, there was more clarity. And, you know, I am still like, I live in this place of trying to look at it always from the bright side, the positive side. Because I think. that people are fundamentally good. People are not fundamentally bad. I know like in the troll

universe and social media. They're bad. Yeah. They're bad. Like, they're bad, right? Like, people are bad? But are those, are those people even real? It's so easy to sit in anonymity behind those people are not in the arena, right? The arena. They're not in it. I'm going to go Brene Brown right now. But like, if you're in, if you're at home hidden behind a computer screen, not having read a book, launching criticism. I'm like, I don't have time for you. Like, I don't listen to that. I take away, I've been traveling now promoting this book. And I take away, like, these are people who have read it and have really been uplifted, they've laughed, they've cried. They got it. They got it. They got the message that it is, there are universal

things. Work is hard. Play is fun. Childbirth isn't for pussies. You know, it's like these are the universal truths that we all experience. And so I am not going to entertain criticism from people who didn't read the book. It's like, that's not my, that's not, don't read it. Everybody's busy. You have a lot going on. You're running an empire. You're running a media empire by your Oh my God. Okay. And so like I get that. The fact that you took time to read my book is not lost on me. Well, I did get shit for my dog for my aggressive dog ear, which like everyone can fuck off. That's how I dog ear. Okay. I know. I dog ear too. I do. You dog gear aggressively. You guys live wire Kelly Rippa. I took more of your time than expected, but I could literally

talk to you forever because you are just so. real and so relatable. And I really recommend the book because unlike you, I'm not a big reader. So when I read a book and love it, it's a bigger deal than when like readers like books, you know? It's so good to meet you. And thank you so much for coming on my show, Kelly. Thank you. It was my honor. I appreciate it. And good luck with the rest of the book tour. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and

write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.