Not Skinny But Not Fat - LIVING LIFE WITH KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN BARKER

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

The day has come- my #1 podcast guest - Kourtney Kardashian Barker - sits down for an exclusive interview in her gorgeous home! We talk all things Travis, the changing relationship with her sisters, how she got her ass up and started working lol, the situation with Scott, therapy, blending families, how she feels about filming now, motherhood, Lemme, and more!!!   Sponsored by HelloFresh and Factor Factor: Head to GO.FACTOR75.com/notskinny60 and use code notskinny60 to get 60% off your first box. HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/notskinny65 and use code notskinny65 for 65% off plus FREE shipping!   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca slash Wondery. That's audible.com. The following podcast is a dear media production. Okay, you guys, we can't all be chefs. We can't all be cooks. Also, we're cute and funny and smart. So you know what? We don't know our way around the kitchen, but you know what we do know. We know how to heat up a meal. And that's why I want to introduce you to Factor. Factor makes fresh, never frozen meals that you can. can heat up in two minutes. Okay, you guys, it is cheaper than takeout. They have amazing ingredients. So head to go dot factor 75.com slash not skinny 60 and use code not skinny 60 to get 60% off your first box. That's code not skinny 60 at go dot factor 75.com slash not skinny 60 to get 60% off your first box. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonatha on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking

with your best friends in your living room. Ready? Yep. Rolling. Rolling. Do you know that was my job once to yell rolling? Stop. At what place? Like it was like a movie. It was my summer job. And I had to yell cut and rolling. Was that so fun? Did you get to do the thing?

I believe so. Yeah? That's so satisfying. I feel like that was my dream job and to be a cashier. But I would say it with enthusiasm, like rolling. You would say something with enthusiasm? I would. I know. I'm not all that I'm cracked up to be.

Okay. Everybody, hold on to your seeds and your underpants because the macho-weighted, get it, podcast guest, mach-a-weighted, mach-weighted? What? Oh, I was like, what? What are you speaking about? The much awaited podcast guest, Courtney fucking Kardashian. Barker.

Barker. Courtney Kardashian Barker. Is it official? Like, you changed it for realsies? We're in the process. Or did you just change it on Instagram? No, it's a long process. I know.

That's why I'm asking. We're in the process. Okay. Because it's like credit cards, social security, passport. It's like it's the whole thing. So right now it's just Instagram official. It is. But it's cute.

It's like KKB. is a vibe. It is. So can you guys believe it? Like, take a moment. Courtney's here. I feel like so many of my followers and people that have been around for a minute know that you were like my number one. So lots of writing. Am I not? Am I still? Am I still not your number one? Now it's achieved. We're back. We're back. We're back in business. You were my number one. But I always thought that like you weren't really into doing podcasts and like public speaking, which. Well, public speaking. that's like that's a whole different thing no I know I'm not giving a speech here well you might be I might but I just want to say I don't get why you are timid about those things because you have the best

liners of ever that's true live your life I'm just living my life live that life ABCD ABCD FG I got to go like the conversation is over love it the most interesting to look at like so many so I was always like I get that she doesn't want to do it maybe, but like she should be confident in her speaking abilities because she's so funny and she's just like great at it. So I failed two classes in college because I wouldn't give a speech. Like I wouldn't do my report. One was speech class and I would not give my final speech. Does it give you literal actual anxiety or just like you don't feel like it?

Oh my gosh. I had to give a speech for Jen Atkin. for this award that she was winning and she was being honored and she asked me if I would give the speech for her and introduce her. And if you hear my voice on it, you'll understand why I will never give a speech. I loved, there was another episode, I feel like when you gave some sort of a speech. It was for something clean maybe. Oh, EWG when I went to Washington, D.C. Right. And you did it. So there's moments where I can speak when I feel comfortable and I want to. Yeah. But that's very rare. That's maybe like once every three years.

But I feel like it makes you relatable that you're not this like, you know. Pro speaker. Right. Like people, everyone, like who isn't a little timid to just sit down with cameras, give speeches, like be so good at public speaking. But that's what I'm here to tell you. You are good at it. So like embrace that. I feel really comfortable in front of the camera. When we're filming, flips hair. Yeah, flips hair. When we're filming, I don't feel any different than if we're not filming. But when I have to be, I don't love being the center of attention.

Really? But having a conversation, especially with someone that I know, I feel comfortable with. Because at the boo-hoo show, you didn't even, you didn't want to get up. You made me. I know. You made me get up. this conversation to everybody. It was me. It was you. Like, get up. You made me take a bow and it was wave. The joy in your, like, you looked so happy in that photo that they captured. And in general,

you're just so happy right now. Thank you. And speaking of happiness, that's what I want to start with is Travis Barker. Okay. I wanted to tell the people, and just in this past episode, Liz, your assistant, was saying that the PDA is real, that she like caught you guys in the pantry. Oh, yes. Not for show. it's for realties. So I'm here to say yes, but also I feel like people just don't, the tongue and the PDA comes across, but like people don't know just like how fucking sweetie is to you. Like it's wild and seems like, he seems like a unicorn. He's just like whatever corny wants. Courtney's the best mom. Corny's like the prettiest. Courtney's the best. He's all about you 24-7.

He did tell me to tell you hi because he was at rehearsals and sound check for tonight. He's so, I mean, he's such a sweet. dude underneath all those tattoos. He is. I don't even see his tattoos when I say that to him because I've known him for so many years just as friends and I don't even think about it. It's like when you have such a connection with someone and you love each other just it's hard to explain.

It's just it doesn't matter like nothing. I mean, I love his tattoos. But I don't, half the time I don't even see. see them. But you said you memorize, like you know them by heart, you said on the show. I mean, there's a lot of them there. I know. I would say I know, I might know them all. So you said on the show that people for years were like, well, they won't they kind of vibe. Looking back, do you remember feeling that? Like, looking at him being like, hmm. Oh, I used to think it all the time. Oh. And then there was times when, yeah, I used to think it. But also I think what we both

have kind of said to each other is that we felt like home at a distance. Like during times when I just felt maybe not at my best. I remember just going with him and all the kids, whether we go to church or to an art museum or to the, we went to the happiness museum one time with all the kids. And he loved that shit with you. Like he loves Disney. Like right. Or coming over and decorating gingerbread houses or carving pumpkins. We used to go to. Oh, there's that episode that he comes to the gingerbread houses. And we did that every year. We didn't, you know, we didn't film it every year.

But we would do that every year and do pumpkins every year. And just even on the weekends, you know, come over and. When you were like dating other people, he was dating other people. Yeah. And come over on the weekends with all the kids. And we would all just hang out here like in sweats and hang out in the movie theater. And I think that we both felt. I remember one Thanksgiving, I went. to Kylie's. We had, you know, Thanksgiving with the family. And then on the way home, me and all

the kids stopped by at his house and hung out with him and the kids and had machas. Back then, you know, he brought me my first ever matcha. I thought you were the match. He's the matcha king before you. He introduced me to matcha. And then he would bring it when we would hang out here at the house with the kids, he would run to Arawan, grab us machas. So how didn't it happen? until now you think it was just like it was meant to happen now and not before like how did it take long i think i was afraid of anything that could be real and he was real yeah and like did he make a move though he would ask me no he's not he didn't make any like physical move but he asked me to go to the movies once and he would ask me to go for sushi or vegan sushi of course

Of course. But he would ask me to go to the movies. And I just, I remember telling my therapist, I was like, Travis asked me to go to the movies. And she was like, and are you going to go? And I was like, I could never go. I could never. And she was like, why, you know, he sounds like a good dad and he's, you know, all the things. And I just was like, but what if he tried to kiss me or what if he held my hand or what if?

And she was like, so what? And I was like, oh my gosh. I just, I can't. Like, I was just, I had such a guard up for so many years. And I just think it was too real. And then friends almost kept saying it again, kept saying it again. It was like after, pretty much after COVID or during that time. Isn't that wild that so many years were leading up to this moment?

But it's, are you, do you look back in regret because you're such a romantic stuff to ask this? Like, do you look back and regret like, we could have had more time? Yes. Yeah? I do. We always say that. We're like, oh, like, we both feel like timing is everything and the timing was perfect. And I'm grateful for everything that led me to that exact, you know, time and place and everything.

But we do say that. We're like, oh, we could have had, you know, this many more years together and been doing all these things for so long. I know. But I do believe more, like, I get that. But I also believe in, like, timing is everything. And you pound each other at the right, at the right time. Yeah. But give us some, like, is there anything that he does that isn't perfect and sweet and

gentle and loving and, like, obsessed with you? No. Like, you don't fight? No. Ever. No, like, we have talks. We love to, like, talk, but we're not, you know, we're not fighters, like, yelling and screaming and hanging up and, you know, all that.

Like, no. but we will like sit down and go like face to face and like sit on the floor by the fire or something and be like can I share something you know and like talk but yeah there's also times when you might be like I don't know I know I feel like if I had to guess I feel like you found your person and also like you need somebody to just like be there and support you and he's just so supportive like he is with you and everything like he's there to hold your hand and he'll walk with you and he'll go with you and he'll he just like lifts you up all the time yeah and you get to call the shots with everything too and you like that now well well he does

too i mean he does too i think it depends what it is but i think we both sometimes love someone to say like let's do this you know or i think we both want each other to be happy so we ask each other you know or you know things that are just happening too that we just both go with the flow with those things. I think we like to do things. To make each other happy. Yeah. And do things together.

We value our time together. And, you know, we both work a lot. And so I also have a lot with the kids. And I love that time. So it's making the most of the time when we're together. Right. I think is really important. Which is a lot of like tongue situation too.

So the PDA. it's become like part of your Kravis brand. Were you? Because not when I look back at you and other relationships that we've seen on the show, I was trying to remember like, were you PDAE? Were you not? Like, is it something that you just started feeling comfortable with Travis because of how he is and you're so in love?

Or were you like that before? I don't remember. I don't remember anything before. No, you had to do like a hug. Oh, a hug class. Right. Because I felt like it depends on the person. Like there's some friends where I feel like you hug or you, even some sisters.

Like Chloe and I are huggers together. But I feel like Kim and I aren't really huggers together. Yeah. You know, I feel like Kylie and I are huggers. Huggers together. I feel like also we, because I'm smaller than Chloe and Kylie, I feel like when we hug, it's more like my hands around their waist. Like a couple.

Yeah. Yeah. And you're like just nestles like in their chest. It's like cozy. Yeah. Cuddly time. So with the PDA, did you feel comfortable right away? Because you leaned in.

You leaned in. Sometimes I'm like, everybody thinks it's Travis. And maybe it's Courtney being like, you know, maybe you're the one starting it. Like, do you mean on a red carpet or something? Okay. Let's start with that on a red carpet. I've hated doing red carpet. carpets for years just because people are always critical. And I think my sisters and I

kind of avoided them for a period. And then I think just with Travis, he is with everything he's been through. He loves to be present in the moment and make the most of it and live authentically. So when we're doing something, he likes to make it fun and, you know, make it just like we have a good time. Right. Like you feel so I do safe with him. And I feel when we're doing something like that, it's fun to just be ourselves and not take it so seriously and not worry about taking the most perfect photo and just being ourselves and I don't know. It just feels better. And the PDA around like the house like in the last episode, your assistant, And so you're all over each other all day for realties.

Yes, but we try to be respectful, too, of, you know, the kids and want everyone to feel comfortable. But, yeah, sometimes we'll be hugging or just, like, staring into each other's eyes. And the kids will be like, ew, gross, you know, even the older kids. But it's, but I think also they love that we love each other so much. Yeah. And do you see when people are like married couples are like, well, give it five years. Like give it. Do you?

They say that going into a marriage and. Yeah. Oh, I've been married once. Well, people are keeping you in the bubble. I've been married once and I plan to be married for my whole life. But. I mean, that's so romantic. Thank you.

Did it change after you got married like anything? Not crazy. Because I think, you know, I think we're in the place where we're. figuring out how to blend our households and our, you know, our kids and how does, what does life look like now, you know? So for the most part, I think it's, we're getting like those things in place. Like we do family dinner every Sunday night with all the kids at his house. Is there going to be a joint house happen? Yes. There will be. But we're, everyone, I think we're being really, we want our kids to also feel.

really comfortable and they have both lived in their homes their whole lives for the most part and just they each have their rooms and we are a block away so it's kind of a special time that we are like what a cool time that like every night he can he comes over and it's like our we have our routines within our house like you know when the kids are at their dad's house I stay at his house and there's still nights when we'll stay at each other's houses in between but you know I get up at six in the morning and and I carpool every morning and then I go straight to his house and have matcha he has it ready for me and then we have matcha and like talk and hang out and then work out together and then we start our day so we have like a thing and he comes over

every night no matter what if I'm here or not here and kisses me whether it's midnight and he's getting back from the studio or whatever. So we have our... That's cute. That is a special time because I feel like it makes it like a more spicy than just like moving in together right now. Right. Like I just said, remember when you used to come over and no one was here like the kids were at their dads and we would drink tequila and hang out and I was like, we have to do that. Yeah. I mean, we do, look, we have our times out. We have our times out or our times, especially when we travel and if the kids aren't with us or even if they're with us. Those are always like fun, special moments and memories. But I think

just it's like we have two spots where we can go hide out. So you feel like there's no pressure on getting like the one house, the KKB? No. And we've looked. We've also looked and we just haven't found it. Oh, we saw on the show. Yeah. that you looked. I want you to see that sweat. No, you guys. I mean, you can see if you're listening, then I'll tell you. Corny is in full fucking latex because of what else would she be in? You guys, sweat is dripping off my hands, like from the inside of my shirt. And also, you guys know this. Well, you have it in your bedroom, too, like a fireplace. A fireplace. So we're in an office with a fireplace that was on because it was supposed to be part of the vibe

and we're sweating. I was trying to have a nice vibe for us. It was such a nice thought. Except you didn't take into account the latex. Yeah. I didn't need to wear latex. It's okay. But here's one thing I learned about you today that I didn't know is that you like the heat a lot.

I love to be warm. Like, yeah, you're not into like air conditioning and freezing. Is Travis down with like sleeping with no AC? He's into air conditioning and freezing. Oh, yeah. We found it guys. We found the one. agreement. He loves air conditioning. He's into like 66 degrees. That's classic. So what do you do? I'm into 72.

No, she's like into 85 is what's happening here. Kim is the same as me, I will say. I heard. Yeah. I heard. And I think we have a little, I think it goes down once I fall asleep. He puts it down. Oh, smart, smart, smart. Okay. Yeah. Okay. What do you sleep and do you seem in naked probably, right? Oh, no, you said on the episode this week that you don't. So with our kids, like when I'm home and the kids are here, I was a full silk pajama girl for life. I thought I was for life going to be silk pajama girl. Long or short? Long, long, sleeves, long legs. Long and 87 degrees. I've worn them for 10 years.

And now because of having COVID with Travis together and we were in his room for 12. days together without leaving his room. And then I became boxer shorts and a and Travis's t-shirt girl. His boxers, his t-shirt. That is what I sleep in now every night here. And when I'm at his house, I kind of do the same. And when we're in a hotel, I sleep naked. Okay. Now we know it all, guys. Hotel home and the Barker household. You guys, this special episode is brought to you by a special sponsor. Hello Fresh, Farm Fresh, Pre-Portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep, skip trip to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking, easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's

number one meal kit. It's cheaper than takeout. It's less expensive than grocery shopping. So for anyone to be like, oh, you're so bougie, you're doing a meal kit service. Can you just cook? Be like, I am saving, okay? So it's time to cozy up, save money, and cook at home. Also with Hello Fresh. Ingredients are from the farm to your doorstep. You know that they are fresh and pre-portioned ingredients make cooking really easy and they cut down on food waste too. So you're being sustainable. You're being all the things. I love. I love. love HelloFresh. I think it is amazing. Go to hellofresh.com slash not skinny 65 and use code not skinny 65 for 65% off plus free shipping. You guys, that's hellofresh.com slash not skinny 65

and use code not skinny 65 for 65% off plus free shipping. HelloFresh America's number one meal kid. Okay, so you know I have to ask this. It was, I feel like we keep on getting like little bits of it, but like there's a foot fetish. I mean, I have cute, really cute feet, Lamanda. Okay, but I feel like a foot fetish has to go two ways. Like, I feel like you're into it too. I mean, if somebody wants to pay extra attention to my feet, I'm not mad at that. Yeah.

Well, my husband, not just anybody. I know. But, okay, because there are pictures of your feet a lot on his, like, in your carousels, there's always a feet pick. On this last episode, somebody asks, the producer asks Travis what his favorite shoes are. And he's like, no shoes. Like, he named a view. And then he was like, no shoes. And you were like no shoes.

Yeah. So it's out there, babe. I also have a size five shoe. Not for real. Women's five? Yeah. A kid's three. wait what I have a really small tiny foot skyrockets at that point so I was just we just embrace it

okay I need to know behind the scenes like how involved it gets because I'm dying to know like where it like is it just looking and petting is it does it go places you don't get to know maybe tomorrow night when we have a drink you're always like you're so curious so on the show you were like amazing, I think you did such an incredible thing sharing your IVF journey on the first season. And I feel like you guys like should get more credit for normalizing a lot of things that are taboo and the way you just like put it out there. Like it's not this big groundbreaking moment where you're like, I have a confession. I'm doing IVF. It was like part of your process. And like Chloe and Kim just like talking about surrogacy and what that is like. So we saw a lot of

it on the first season. How much are we going to see this season? Is it not going to be as big a part of the show? I decided, did you see our cleansing, cleanses and all that, all the natural stuff? Yes, I did. So I just decided. It really took a toll on my health and my just even mentally. The hormones. The hormones, like the medication, you have to get, you know, put to sleep every time.

So I know that it's for, like, it's helped, you know, so many people, but it's just not for me. Yeah. It like, I don't know. I felt like even still, I went to, I did this really cool thing yesterday where I got a brain scan. It's not. Is this Dr. Eamon one? No. But I've heard about that.

I was on the episode, Courtney. Oh, that's the one they did. Sorry, I didn't watch. Was that episode? Did it air out any? It aired, and it was literally like, Dr. Raymond was like, so your brain's kind of fucked up. Chloe's like, great. And then I don't know if there was like a solution put in place.

Oh, my gosh. Well, this is neurofeedback. So you, there's no radiation for the scan. And then they tell you certain things about your brain. And the things that when I went yesterday to get the results, it was mostly from, he thought, from IVF because it affects your adrenals, your thyroid, your hormones. Like, my energy levels since starting that have been really down. And still, I haven't done it since probably January or February. And my energy levels are still really down. But you're also really, I think it's also like you're a person that you're so in touch with your body.

Like you take blood vials every day to like see where you're at. Yes. You know, so I feel like that has a lot to do with it. Like you pay attention to like everything happening in your body. Yeah. And I, got to a place where I just felt like exactly how timing was everything with me and Travis, I feel truly like if it's meant to be that we will be blessed. You're going to have a love child. Like there's no way. Like I feel like you guys probably feel this too. Like you're a love will create a life. And that's how we've always felt. And then I felt like we kind of got pushed into doing IVF. And if you even look anything up online about things you can do to help get pregnant and when it says on there like if you're over 40 or it might even

say something younger it says go right away to an IVF doctor. Like don't bother. Right. So I felt a little bit pushed. So we are for now done with IVF and we say prayers and hope that God blesses us with the baby. Yes. I fingers are crossed. And speaking of family, you guys are a big, blended family now. And I feel like we got a little, it was on an episode, I think Kim was talking about how Mason, who always like, when people talk about things that Mason says or like that text that Kim posted once or something, he comes across like so mature. About North.

Right. Yes. And this too was like, I think Kim said that Mason was like explaining to North how what it's like. Yeah, what it's like, and that like... It's not, he said it's not so bad or something. Right. Like, so how was that?

Was it seamless because they knew each other, the kids for so many years or... I think blending a family like that is, you know, there's so many emotions involved and so many kids. And even though, you know, I think it made it, I would imagine, so much easier because we've all known each other. And we've all had our, you know, really. relationships with each other and know, you know, each other's intentions and that we're good people. I can't imagine if it was random. Someone else. But, you know, there are emotions. Change is hard for kids. Yeah. And I think we're at a really good place, but I think we're really patient and taking it, take it slow, which I think is why, you know, we're not taking it slow because

work when we just feel really, you know, passionately about each other and want to do everything as quick as possible. But then, yes, like with the kids. And I think just keeping everyone in their comfortable places and feeling like, oh, it's not as much change as I thought. Yeah. I think it's really nice. And then easing in, for example, Travis is almost done. They're making a bunk bedroom at his house for the kids so we can all sleep over. And over the weekend, Penelope and Rain slept there with him without me. They did not want me there. And then they did that, Rain did that three nights in a row. Stop. And Penelope did it, joined them on the, on the third night. And I said, oh, do you guys want me to stay too? And she was not having it.

No, stop. Stop. Speaking of Penelope, she is a TikTok queen. Are you concerned? Like, Are you, I mean, obviously she has that creative, like, vibe to her. She has such an aesthetic. She's very creative. Are you like, wait, is she going to be in this industry? Like, is she going to, or do you have those thoughts? She is such, I can't even explain it. She is my girl that I do not worry about.

She is just, so Simon always says she's a mini me to her core. Yeah. But we've spent so much time together and spend so much time together. And I just, I don't worry about her. Yeah. But I used to, she's slept with me every day since she was born and pretty much still does. Unless she has a friend's sleepover or unless she leaves me to go sleep at Travis's or anti-cococos or anti-Kikis. But besides that, we are so close.

And we were talking about that when I met you at. the at the sniff event about, you know, how you are as a mom, which is also like something that I super relate to, which is like very all in, like sleep with the kids. Don't follow like the rules that you're supposed to. No. You were telling me that you like stayed at the school for three weeks with the rain and like, you know, when Mason first went to school, I stayed at school for preschool. I stayed for three weeks thinking just in case he needed me. I couldn't take it. I was so... And they judged you?

Do you think? No. No. I don't... No one even knew. I slid into this little lodge. I found the Wi-Fi. I did my work.

And I just stayed for three weeks. They had tea. I made tea every day. And then he never needed me once. Well, that's good. See, like you're there, but he doesn't... And then I did probably a week less with each kid. When I took Penelope, I stayed for two weeks.

And I took rain, I stayed for a week. But I feel like... Yeah, I just, I couldn't do any different. Yeah. Kids crying at school when they get dropped off and their parents leaving. I'm not judging any other parents, but it triggers me. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

My mom used to put me on the school bus when I was two. Yeah. And I got left and I woke up. And you remember, how do you have all these memories from when you were like? It's my first memory. I think that it was so damaging that it was. So traumatic, but I woke up on the bus because I fell asleep and all the kids got off and they didn't see me because I was two and I was really small.

Yeah. Like smaller than. We're on a school bus at two. Aren't you in a car seat at two? I was on a school bus and they picked me up at my house. There's no way you were on a school bus in a car seat school bus. No, they didn't have car seats. They used to not have car seats.

Oh, that could be. I used to, I have photos of me like as a baby in the front. seat like they used it. I also wanted to talk about well everyone's dying to know if Scott's going to be in this season because like he wasn't in promos. I have no idea. You literally don't know? I literally don't know. And also that last season I remember when you and Travis got engaged and it was so exciting. And there was that, you know, a lot about Scott's reaction, how he's feeling like you were a little upset about that. I was upset that they chose to take my fairy tale and like include that part of it because and then it just bothered me like these

people at you know wherever production are like making the choice of what my story is but aren't you an executive producer I am and so I you know we watch cuts we give notes those notes weren't addressed and it just bothered me. And also it's forever. I will like we watched it and I gave, I didn't initially have a problem with it when I first watched it because I think we're so used to the way that we've done things for so long. And it's been, you know, that kind of stuff would have been included.

It was, it was, that was also his, the only really thing that his perspective was. It's kind of just being upset about you and blah. Right. And so I think it just bothered me because I felt like this is my fairy tale. And I was like, why can't we show the happy ending? Why do we have to focus on this? And I get it's TV and blah, blah, blah, blah, the reasons. But to me, I was not having it.

I was like, you wouldn't do this to anyone else. You didn't do it. You know, there may have not been that X. around that was right on commenting so i've definitely made it really clear that that's not for me i'm not going to be a part of this and then you know have that narrative commentary from anyone yeah really and so because i feel like i'm here living my life and i'm not sitting here talking about anyone else. So I just demand the same respect. Yeah. Another thing that I feel like I've noticed, but also the fans have really noticed, is Courtney and Chloe used to be. Corny and Chloe.

Yeah. Like the dragging you on the floor, waxing each other's vaginas, really like you guys had that special, special relationship. And it was, it was like Kim was kind of like the outsider for years. Yeah. And I feel like she could. handle that because she's like could handle that like being on her own vibe but like how does it feel now where it does kind of seem like it's more Kim and Chloe like I think that when Chloe was pregnant but with true and then I think was Kim pregnant did they have kids oh they had kids at the same time she had a surrogate at that time maybe yeah so I just felt like they really bonded Bond.

Like they were going through the same things. And then I felt like that's when I was unhappy with the show. Partially because of them, too, kind of ganging up. I felt like it was almost everything that Chloe and I had done to Kim. And then they were like kind of flipping it on me. I think I also started therapy at the time and then became more self-aware and just, I don't No, I feel like when you first start therapy, I don't know if you do therapy, but when you first start, it's pretty emotional. Oh, yeah.

You like don't want to go. It's like takes out. I love it. No, you love it. But at the beginning, it's hard. It's hard and it's like you, I felt just really sensitive and I was used to being such a bitch for so many years without any care. No one could shake me. No one could rattle me.

Nobody could say something mean to me because I would say something 20 times mean or back. I feel like that's such a good line. Nobody could shake me. Nobody could. They couldn't. But I think that when I was watching it, Courtney, I like felt you because you know that I have felt you from day one. Yeah. It's like I could feel that maybe you are connecting it in therapy.

But like not that you lost Chloe. I know you're always going to be close. But I feel like it didn't. I could tell that it was like making you sad. I felt like it was every. It was like everything. And then I mean to be like pushed. to the point of like, not that anyone pushed me, but it was like the daily stuff to where I like

had the rage inside to like scratch my sister or whatever like in the fight, whatever I probably blacked out. But like, yeah, it was like a lot. I felt like it was an intense time. But I feel like Chloe and I are good. I spoke to her like the whole time she was in Milan. We were, you know, FaceTiming. We FaceTimed on the way to school this morning. I saw her this morning. I saw her this morning at school, you know, we're good. But it's not the same. I think we're, I think just life isn't the same. Yeah. I think I'm in a different place. Yeah. I'm not, I don't know. Are you different than your family? I think, yes. I think we, I think we all are in our own ways. Like, I think some of us more than others, like feel the need to distance.

sometimes or just do our own thing, have our own thing. It can be like all so interconnected. Right. That having that, like, I love to keep my little bubble and like how, you know, they say, like, protect your energy. Like, I just like to be in my own little world and then enter it when I choose. Right. And then slip back in.

That was your issue with the, with the show then. It's like you felt like you were forced into. I felt like I was forced. to do it, but also my point at that time was also like, we are filming five days a week and we don't need to. It was the thing when, you know, it's like, you don't have the same work ethic, whatever. I was just saying this can be done where I can be also the things that like feed my soul, like being a mom, taking my kids to school, working out, you know, things that are important

to me working too. but at the time filming five days a week, it just didn't feel, it wasn't also fulfilling me. It wasn't making me happy. Yeah. The way that we're doing it right now, I've never once felt like I've filmed.

Oh, wow. I feel like I'm living my life and I barely notice that they're even there. And when they're there, it's super fun. I've never, it's so enjoyable. And I also can,

take my kids to school every morning, have dinner with my kids every night, get all my work done during the day. It's like a flow. Yeah. And there's the exceptions, you know, like I have tonight, Travis has a concert. Tomorrow night we have our lemmy event. Like there's exceptions where like I probably won't get to put them to bed. But I will be up early and carpooling in the morning, you know. Do you think because everybody really has noticed like that you're so much happier right now is it just Travis do you think it's maybe there like other things that you have done to bring you to this place of like content I think being in a healthy relationship definitely reflects like if you're

in a toxic relationship which I have been yeah and then it does I think reflect on every area of your life including like connections with your kids work. Like I couldn't make decisions, you know, like I didn't feel confident in myself. So I think to be able to make, like when you are in a healthy relationship, and I think it is like a healthy relationship with yourself too. Yeah. You know, I think that allows also for a healthy relationship with someone else. And then I think it also, this venture with Lemmy has been, I was talking to Simon this morning. And I said, this team that we work with is so, like we work so well together. And I said, all the decisions, like how, we make decisions like this. I don't, I don't need to

think twice. I don't need to overthink. I just, from our packaging to our, to the beliefs about the planet with, with this brand, to the ingredients, to the everything. It's been so easy. And I've made those decisions. And when I say I've been working on this for five years, it's been conversations with other people, but also it not feeling right. I've been almost had like certain deals to do this and it wasn't the right thing. In the end, I'd be like, no. And it was, it was. And like I said, timing is everything. So I believe that in this too. But I think it's everything. I'm super happy with work. I'm doing something that I feel really proud of. Happy with the show. And it's not consuming my life where I'm like authentic to my core.

So when I do anything that feels fake and I mean that in like sitting and filming in the old show, I would be, I cannot contribute to a conversation that I'm bored in. So like if I'm sitting there and someone's talking about something that I have no interest in. That's where you're famous, yeah, comes from. I can't fake it. So I'm sitting there and I'll just, I can't get involved. Yeah. And so, yeah, I think it's just all of it's authentic and enjoyable.

Yeah. And I really, I'm not in the place in my life to do stuff that isn't anymore. So speaking of your brand, it's Lemmy Lawn Day today as we're sitting here. Today. It's a big day. I'm super hyped. I told you I was this morning. I went.

I was so hyped at school. I saw my sisters. I saw Kylie. I saw Kim. I saw Chloe. And I dropped, snuck the little gummies into Chloe's car. I was super excited. I talked to my team on the way home.

Nothing was getting me down today. I got pulled over and got a ticket. And I was like... For what? Speeding? No. For my tinted windows. Oh.

I have, I even have a note from the doctor for like son. First of all, it's like, it's like, it's not safe. safe if I don't. But we're not going to get into that because that no one cares. But I said to my kids when I got pulled over and the cop stepped away or me had still been there. I said, it is lemmy launch day and no one's going to kill our vibe, guys. And you guys, I'm on two lemmy machas plus a real macha. Let me tell you, it is so good.

I love that the little swirls. I love that they taste good and you can really taste that they're different than other gummies. Like they're not filled with all the bullshit, right? None of that stuff. The packaging, I think, is so fun. Thank you. We wanted it to look like little candy jars, like old-fashioned candy jars.

And we wanted it to be fun because, you know, I still take a lot of supplements on a daily basis, but I look forward to it. to those. And I'm someone, I don't know if you're like this, I have to have something sweet. Yeah, me too. After my meals. And for me, it is my lemmy. It is your lemmy. So you're getting like the benefits, but also something sweet. And I did a taste test. I told you this when you walked in last night, we did a taste test of other gummy brands. I did this before we started. But I did it again. She's in shock you guys, how not good they are. The texture and the taste and the ingredients. And I'm like, If they're going to have these not good for you ingredients, they should at least taste good,

but they didn't. And I won't name names, but I feel extra, extra proud of our lemmy after that. And you know what else I love? I feel like the look of the brand is so different than like your sisters. Like if it was Kim, it would probably be like beige and a stone tablet or something. Exactly. And I feel like, I don't know, I feel like that is the vibe in general. and this is very not that.

This is like the opposite. It's like colorful and... I wanted it to just be fun and happy. Yeah. The world needs more fun and happy. I know. No, the packaging is amazing. We were talking about how it doesn't look like pharmacy vibes.

Right. I think it's... Like it's cute on your bedside table even. It's super cute. They make me really happy, the bottles. And they're also, this is something I'm proud of, They're 100% post-consumer recycled materials. So there's no zero virgin plastic.

There's no new plastic when making them. Oh, amazing. Do you feel like, because I feel like that's right when you came out with the brand. Everybody was so excited. I saw people's comments saying, like, finally, like so excited for this. Like people were waiting for you to have a brand, even though, excuse me, Push is a brand. It is Push as a brand. Like it's not a product, but it has product.

I think sometimes I like to do the opposite of what is expected of you. Yes. Yeah. And so it's kind of like rage against the machine or whatever. But I, when Kim, you know, would say, like, whatever, her comments to me about working or all the things that almost made me, you know, feel like isn't being a mom good enough? like being a mom is a full-time job. Yeah. And there's not enough hours in the day between schoolwork, between, I mean, lunches, dinner.

I mean, there's so many things with kids, like times, like, times three. No, you're crazy. And now times six. Yeah. And I feel like it, I love it. So I don't feel, but I don't know, I truly love it. I feel like it's what I was meant to be. Be a mom.

But to like balance that with working is hard. And so... Work is just not my top priority. It's never going to me. But like when I say that, I still mean it. And I love what I do. I love working. But like my kids will always be my priority.

I love that. Do you feel that your family kind of pushing you to this had any part in you starting this brand? No, I think it was the opposite. That's what I meant by that is I meant. is I meant like, I almost was like, no, this is good. This is enough for me. Like, I don't have enough hours in the day to be a mom and film our show and do push and take on something else.

So now, though, I think I did it because I wanted to do it not because someone was pushing me to do it. And the timing was right. I feel also how we film much less to a really manageable place. and I can do all the things with my kids and I can work while they're at school. So I feel like a really perfect balance. And right now we have let me chill, let me matcha, let me focus. And are there going to be more?

Of course. Of course. Just do you wait? I'm waiting, baby. Did you have a favorite? I had the matcha and the focus because I'm like, I don't know if I should be chill for this interview, you know? Chill, the only time I needed chill.

was on the Today Show. I think the matcha might be my favorite. The matcha tastes really divine. No, that's what I'm saying. But I think the focus is my favorite because I love to focus. And I have a problem focusing. And it feels like it has what, the B12 in it? No, that's the energy.

That's the B2. So matcha is sustained energy. So it's not jittery energy because of the B12. Yeah, focus is the brain gummy. Right. And it helps. Like to get work done. Oh, I can't do a Zoom call without it. I heard, guys, I heard it's real. Like Courtney's on Zoom's all day being like, yeah, like she's a boss-ass bitch. I just want to tell everybody also, Halloween decorations are starting to gather. They are. Up in here. They are. They're going to get wild. We go crazy here. I know. I was telling you before we started the interview, it's like there are some things that are so different about us. I don't know if we can be friends. And then remember, okay, relax. It's a joke. Of course we can. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Remember, we started talking about Disney and you being a Disney adult? Oh, yes. Yes. And then there was also your obsession with Halloween. Oh, you don't like Halloween? I mean, I'm like, I just, not as let, not for me anymore. Well, I need to get me into it.

I grew up in a house that was obsessed with Halloween. True. And Christmas. We always decorated for Halloween and we would do it ourselves and put spider webs in the windows. We're so excited. Is it going to get crazy in here, Courtney? Oh, it's going to get, I'm going to send you so many Halloween photos. I think you're going to, I'm going to send you a Halloween Pinterest and I'm going to inspire you.

Wait, are you going to do the outside of the house too? First of all, I've heard, this is the second time you've mentioned a Pinterest because you talked about a Pinterest board on the show. I love Pinterest. She's a huge Pinterest user, you guys. If you're ever like, I need a vibe for something. How can we find her board? It's top secret.

I have like three people that see it. So. But if you ever want a vibe for something, I will send you a Pinterest board within minutes. Okay. So I have some quick fire questions for you. Okay. Christmas or Halloween? Christmas. Ooh, okay. Do you have a favorite purse right now? I know you love your Pradas. I have one favorite purse. I'm a, I'm not a switching purse girl. I've noticed. You used to have the Prada backpack. Exactly. And I did. Do you still love that? I do. But my favorite purse is a mini Valenciaga. Has no colorful hardware. It's all black. Surprising. And exactly. And Travis got it for me in Portland.

DeFino when we were there not for our wedding, but the summer before. Okay. I need to see it. It's my favorite. It's my every day. Do you ever shop at Normie's stores like Azara? You know what? I don't.

I'm not going to lie. Okay, I don't. That's fine. But I used to. I used to be the queen of the mall. Really? Like me and the mall were best friends. And in college, that's all we did.

I know. Also, reminder, Corny went to college, everybody. Yes. We need that daily reminder. A misconception that people have about you. I see comments all the time that I'm never with my kids. Oh, okay. And I just don't love to post my kids on social media.

They don't love it. Yeah. Sometimes they do. Like Mason doesn't love it, I feel like. He does not like it. He doesn't want any part of it. Yeah. He just.

So that account is not Mason, you guys. He is not on social media. um he doesn't love it he just and i want my kids to be kids and to i love i crave normalcy i know as much as we can have it yeah i feel that about you i have a misconception that people have about you that i want to clear up i feel like people after i met all of you i think i was asked like who was like the the warmest or and i said you and i feel like people don't always get that vibe from you. Because you do have RBF. What the hell is that? Bresting bitch face. Oh, oh, yeah. I do.

So, like, I feel like that's a misconception. Maybe people don't think you're, like, warm or open, but, like you are, it just, like, maybe not with everyone, maybe it takes you a minute. Is that correct? Well, like I said, the authenticity, I need to, need to feel it. But, yeah, I'm like, almost emotionally unstable at times like just because I feel so much I know I that's why I feel you I know I feel like once I had my kids I could feel like I don't know yeah just open no I understand that because you like live in this life you're constantly you're self-aware you're very self-aware so you can't do things that like you know you would judge or like you know what I mean right or I'll see things like there was a TikTok going around about the kids dying from the candy fentanyl.

Yeah. And like I just start sobbing. Like, I definitely am a feeler. You posted it. I did. I didn't post the video, but I posted the message. And then what's one thing you would want people to know about you that you feel like they don't? I don't really care what people think about you.

I love that. Okay. So everybody thinks you and Travis are like off the wall, like on the ceiling, having sex on the fire pit while the fire is going. What's your favorite sex position? Is it a normal one? Yeah, it is. Like Mish? Probably.

Yeah. I think that's my. I mean, so she doesn't have to work hard, you know? No, I think that's my fave. Yeah. I feel you. And favorite workout, you're always doing like different things. Right now we go, Travis and I will go on these three mile walks together.

and I love Pilates. In the neighborhood? In the neighborhood. In our skeleton onesies. Because what else would you wear? What else would we be in? And then speaking of skeletons, what's a favorite band that Travis got you into? Are you listening to like cool music now?

Of course. Well, I listen to all the music he makes because we'll be in the car and he has to listen to things. I think I definitely listen to more blink than I ever have because, my kids want to listen to it. Yeah. And yeah, lately I've been listening to Joan Jett because he's playing with her tonight. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Oh, cool. That's top secret, but this won't go out till after. Top secret, everybody. Corny, thank you so much. I told you this at the beginning, but this was like a dream. You were my, if people used to ask me, like, not used to still. People ask me, like, who's your number one podcast? guess that you would want. And I used to say Courtney.

Really? Was it everything you dreamed of? And more. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening.

And I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.