Not Skinny But Not Fat - LOVE IS BLIND'S STACY SNYDER ON THE LOST & FOUND DRAWER & BAD CREDIT

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Love is Blind’s Stacy Snyder joins me to discuss this epic season, her shocking decision at the altar, what happened after, what the deal is with Izzy’s finances, and what she thinks of the last standing couple of the season: Lydia & MiltonProduced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hi, I'm Sif Heider, the founder of Farray. I'm a wellness entrepreneur and digital creator, and this is my show, The Dream Bigger podcast. Listen, I love dreaming big, but you know what I love more? Actually having the resources to make those big dreams happen. And hey, dreams can sometimes be private jets, but other times, they can look a little something like having the best skin of your damn life or starting a successful business or

delving into spirituality. So on this podcast, I chat with experts and thought leaders from different fields about their tips and tricks on doing exactly that. Remember to subscribe. We drop new episodes every Tuesday. So see you then. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonafed on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's

going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking to show with your best friends in your living room. Hey guys. I'm super excited for you to hear this episode with Stacey from Love is Blind. What a season. You know, what a finale. a reunion. And it's a really good episode. Can't wait for you to listen. This is your quarterly reminder to pause this podcast right now and go write a review, give five stars and write a review. I know all of you mean well and are just like, oh, I mean, why would I review like someone else well? Babe, you got to do it. Don't rely on other people to do what you need to do. So I really

appreciate it. Enjoy this interview. Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. How are you. I'm good. I just watched the episode yesterday. I'm like, how do you feel about it? No, I'm like, I was shocked, quite frankly, Cacey. I was not, you did. You did, but we'll get there. That's on a personal note. You did shock me. I was not expecting that at all. I'm sure. But you know what's wild. I watched the episode and I forgot for a second that there aren't more couples. I was like, oh, are they showing the, like, even though I've been watching. I've been watching. you in the show. I'm like, oh, they're going to show the rest of the weddings, like in a separate episode? Yeah. It's done. And then it's done. They're like no couples this season. I know.

So all the pressure was on us. Yay. Yeah. Carried the team. So Stacey Snyder is here from Love is Blind. I always love Love is Blind and I love this season. And you know, I said this about the show. I love the pace of the show. Like, I'm sure for you it feels different, but watching it. I'm like, great. They meet pods. They're engaged. They're in Mexico having sex. They're living together. It just like happens so quickly and I'm really thankful for it. Watching it's different than going through it because I wish it felt that way as you just described it, but it felt like a roller coaster. So let's start from the beginning. So how did you get on the show? Did you watch seasons before? Was this like something you wanted to do? No. Honestly, I haven't watched a lot of TV at all.

Someone reached out to me on Instagram that was with casting and asked if I'd seen the show and I hadn't, but my family had during COVID because my sister had a baby during COVID. So it was like, whatever was happening at that time, which was season one of the show. So he's like, watch it. Let me know what you think. I watched a club of it. I'm like, is this real. Like, this can't be real. People don't do that. And he's like, no, it's real. So then I'm invested. Like, okay, let me start the process and let's see what this is about. I was kind of surprised that they picked me. But the approach was through Instagram, was like, someone from castes. Why were you surprised they picked you? I don't want to say that I probably look like a basic blonde girl, but I don't really know. I feel like they have, I don't know. I just, I was surprised. It's more of my sisters that are into the reality TV thing. So, like, of course it would be you doing it. You don't even know what's going on. Wait, so you're three sisters, right? I have two sisters. I'm one of three. I mean like your three total. I love that. And you're what? The middle or the, the, of course, the middle. And always in the middle. Oh, me too. Me too. I'm one of three, too. Yeah.

How do you guys handle that being three sisters? Are you always good? Are there like two or closer? One's left out. Yes. It's more that. Like they're both very fiery. It was always like the chill, shy, calm one. So it was like on a good day, I'm with Chelsea. And then when Chelsea's being a bugger, then I'm best friends with Sloan. Like I was always chosen, but they never chose each other. Now it's different now that we're older and my sister with kids. We're a lot closer. But yeah, I was always in the middle. so you're 33 and you i just turned 35 you just wait wait wait i'm 33 on the show what

oh no it was a while ago i just no i just turned 35 last week okay so you were there oh wow wait no but that's that's insane that's insane how long have you had to be quiet about this how are you it's been like a year and a half oh my god okay so at the time you were 30 Was it hard dating in Austin? Like, were you... In Houston? And yeah. Yeah.

I think it's hard dating everywhere at this day and age with it kind of just being up to dating apps where it's provided such an odd environment where it feels like most people are disposable because it's like, well, then just keep swiping for someone else. So I was ready for a new approach. Now I'm just saying like it's a supply and demand issue. What do you mean? With dating. Yeah.

I well at least with the girlfriends I have it's like I'm open I'm trying it's more of a supply and demand issue like what they're less dudes either less dudes are less dudes that are ready for commitment or looking for the same thing and what was your type before what the show and kind of in conversations between you and Izzy it came up that you did like older dudes more like like I like that came up because I don't even know if I spoke on that for the most part I did. men that are older than me, but it's not like I'm looking for someone that's at least 10 years older. I think it's like from work in where I end up, whether it's a networking function or where I'm out and about that that crowd is a little bit more older, a little bit more, I mean,

oil and gas. So it's, it's a bunch of guys. You mean older than you? Like, you haven't dated, you haven't dated younger than you. No, I'm not going to the sports bar. and the nightclubs where it's probably a younger dynamic. I got you. I got you. Okay. So you go through the process. You get in these pods.

Who was sparking your interest aside from Izzy at the beginning? Anyone that we know that we've seen? Honestly, the first day, I was scared. I'm like, I don't know if I'm even going to hit it off with anybody. You don't have a lot of time. So you're judging someone on not a whole bunch of substance. So the standout for me was. Carter, which it wasn't like, I'm romantically charged by this man. I'm like,

at least he's interesting. Like the fisherman guy. The fisherman that's smashing beer cans at 8 a.m. I'm like, I don't really see this going anywhere, but at least I'm excited to talk to him because he's whatever he is. He's interesting. And there's a lot of drama around them right now. There is. There is. A lot of rumors. Yeah. I don't know a whole lot about that. I mean, I know Renee. I haven't really kept in touch with Carter. So if your story got cut, because I hear that happens, we're like, there could be a couple. They fell in love.

They went to Mexico and they wouldn't be aired. Like, how upset would you be if that happened to you? I actually thought about that. Part of me, I think, would be relieved because it's so the worst part of the waiting, the anxiety of like, how am I going to look? How will they make me look? Am I going to look like me? Is it going to be the way the story really unfolded?

I think part of it would be a relief. and then another part would take a second to process because that's a huge big chapter of your life and then no one will ever know about it where it's like, I don't even know how I feel. I don't even know how I'd feel that. And what about meeting Izzy in the pod? Like, were you intrigued from the beginning?

No. He was a hot commodity, though, in the pods. I honestly didn't even realize that. Another hot commodity was Josh. Josh was someone that I really liked that I went pretty far with. And Josh and Izzy were good friends, which was weird. But I don't think until the second

our third date. I was like, oh, I could talk to Izzy. They have us like right out in rankings like the guys. Izzy was probably around seven for me after the first day. The second. Wow. Yeah. I think we both were for each other. Like, yeah. We were both like, we'd like to talk again, but if we don't, it wouldn't be a what was me moment. Yeah, you guys didn't have like, it wasn't obvious. Right. The connection or for other people was like, oh, from the beginning, they found the person And for you guys, like, it didn't seem like you were your top person. It wasn't. It wasn't.

And I think we both took each other by surprise because we went in with really no expectations. And then we found a lot of common interests and common life experiences where it was a slow burn, which I think was good because we were always unfolding new things like that we were learning about each other instead of it being like, oh, this is it. And then it kind of dies down towards the end. I think we all know that beauty starts from within, but beauty also starts with your smile. Every smile is beautiful, but moon oral beauty is really taking it to the next level because they're introducing an oral care routine. I mean, we have a face routine, a hair routine, you know, body routine. What about an oral routine? That does sound a little dirty. So I'm going to stop saying that a million times.

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and FP movement and you guys should really check it out. So free people and FP movement's annual win your wish list giveaway is back. Five lucky winners will be selected to each win $1,000 gift cards to shop their free people and FP movement wish lists between October 18th and November 22nd. You can enter to win at free people.com slash when do not miss your chance. This is only available to US and Canada and you got be 18 plus. Visit www.com.com slash win before November 22nd to enter. What did you have in common? Like what really stood out that you had in common? Daddy issues. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, he was telling me he didn't really know that his real dad was, or his, what he thought was his real dad was not his dad that he had been adopted.

That was not my story, but I think the abandonment fear or the disconnect or like struggling to be vulnerable when you've been vulnerable. And then the rug gets ripped out from under you with that. He became vulnerable with that. And I had issues with my dad as far as being emotionally vulnerable with him, which obviously impacted my relationship. Wait, what do you mean? your dad seems like such a great father on the show. He is, but he's a tough cookie. So he's very, I don't want to say stern, but he's work, work, work, he was gone a lot. Traveling for work when we were younger, he wasn't around.

He wasn't at, you know, games, competitions, recitals. It was always my mom. So for me, I kind of felt like he was out of the picture until my parents got divorced where he was like, I'm going to lose my kids if I don't make an effort now, which was in my 20s. Oh, wow. So once, it was similar stories where it's that like, how do you make that connection with someone that's that big in your life, where we both related on that and the abandonment feeling kind of starting over, reteaching yourself how to be open and vulnerable and feel

okay and safe. That whole thing relates to anxiety that we share. All of the, I'm sounding crazy. Abandonment. He, like, anxiety. Well, I mean, no, you're sounding normal, but he is a very, I could see, like, connecting with him because, like, he, a lot of dudes don't talk about, like, the emotional stuff. And he's, I mean, he looks on the verge of tears or high, but I'm assuming tears because his eyes are always about to cry on the show. And he honestly isn't a big cryer. It's more like you feel his emotion through his energy, whether it's happy, mad, glad or sad. You just, you just feel it. He has that aura about him.

And with he and I and him leaning more into that and pushing me, I think that's where our relationship really blossomed is I think he was used to being the other way around where someone's having to, like, crack him open. Yeah. We both were college athletes, like love sports, very active. A lot of things that are, I guess, a little bit more surface or things that happened earlier on in life. And I don't think we really gave each other a chance at first.

And then, like, oh, like, not necessarily my type, but, like, we're connecting on so many things. Did you, in the women's quarters or whatever, where you hang out, did you, because I know at one point you were saying that you kind of knew, like, Johnny was into him, but you didn't want to tell her that, like, he was, you were into him. Like, you wanted to keep that kind of private. Yes. Because. Me and Johnny weren't close. And I wasn't expressing to anyone there, even the girls that I was closest with, that it was him until I talked to Miriam about it and where the poem comes out.

And that's way further down the line. Wait, the poem or the notes. The poem, the Izzy O Izzy poem. Oh, well, no, I was thinking, you know what I was thinking? I was thinking of who was crying to you at the beginning? Was it, oh, was Alia? Like in the pot, like Lydia? When she like.

Wait, was it Lydia where you said that thing? and I posted that one of my followers saved it that you told her you told her like someone that loves you won't take. Yeah, they take your past as a map to love you. They don't use it as something hold against you. So you should never be afraid of expressing your past because the people that love you will use it as a tool. Yeah.

That was Lydia. Me and Lydia were close. Yeah. I didn't know until one. And Lydia was into him too, though. Yeah. And I didn't know that either. The way that it's edited.

it looks like we're all on day one talking about Izzy. That is not how that happened. Because I wasn't into Izzy at that point. I see. And then since it was a slow burn, I knew that Izzy always had like a number one connection with someone. I did not know who. I never asked him who. I didn't care because it has nothing to do with me. And I'm like, whoever you choose, I want you to be happy, whether it's me or whoever this person is. It came out later. He told me that it was her. And I still kept that to myself out in the women's quarters and Johnny was trying to figure out who his number two was and talking to me about it, but she wasn't saying his name. She's like, I can't figure out who my number one's

number two is. I thought it was Lydia, but he just broke up with Lydia. That was number three. Although, I have no idea who you're talking. I don't know. She's like, well, I know we're not talking to the same person, but it's Izzy. And I was just like, didn't say. Did that bummed you out? Did that make you feel like, because I'm assuming you didn't really vibe with her. Did that make you feel like? But it wasn't that. Me and Johnny didn't have beef until she started saying nasty things about me. We were fine. We weren't the closest. I had people closer to, but we did not have beef at all, clearly because she was confiding in me about who she was talking to. I think that's why she's upset is that she confided in me and I wasn't like,

oh my God, it's me. But I felt no need to do that. I didn't, I wanted to stay in my own lane and keep the experiment as pure as I could where it had nothing to do with anyone other than myself and how I was connecting with someone. I didn't want it to be about. I didn't want it to be about. about, oh, it's her. How is it her? We're so different. I didn't want any of that. No, but that's, that's honestly smart. I'm sure you have like no regrets because that can, I mean, we've seen the, the, the biggest example from your season is the Uche, you know, Lydia and Aaliyah drama. And that, you know, I don't know what love story could have happened between Uche and Aaliyah. But with that story, what did you think? Did anybody believe Uche when he was like, Lydia,

followed me here and like all those accusations? It sounded bananas to me. I know how the process went for me as far as casting and it was not easy. It was long. It was very vague. There were no guarantees. I didn't find out until two weeks I was leaving that I was for sure going. And that was everybody.

So that's very hard for me to believe like impossible. I don't know what anyone else was thinking. I never asked. So I don't know. I just know what I thought. Wait, in this girl's quarters situation, I used to think you guys just kind of hung out there. Were you sleeping there this time or no? They're long days.

So when you're not in a date, you may be in an interview. You may be hanging out with the other girls that aren't in a date. There's a gym. There were times I worked out. There were times I was tired and I just slept. That's just kind of like whatever you want to do in there. You can sit and read a book. Well, I remember from past seasons, people like kept working.

Was that the same this time? Like, were you able to still like do your job? No. Oh, we didn't have anything. No, no computers, no phones. Nothing. We didn't have a clock in there. So we didn't know what time it was half the time. That's why we're so delirious. Like, no, I meant like they could work like during the day and come after or like. No, no. No. No. So it was like how long was this? How long does it take the whole process? Podland, I think, was around two weeks. But it's not two weeks of dating. It's like maybe nine or 10 days. And the rest of it's kind of getting you settled in going through the process, what to expect. Kind of like onboarding. I think. It's kind of like onboarding. I guess. In that entire time, you don't have a phone. And then if you go to Mexico, you still don't have the phone. And I don't even remember. I think that was four or five, maybe five days in Mexico. Well, you go to Mexico without your phone. You do not have a phone. Like, if you go, if you get engaged and go to Mexico, you do not get it until you land back in the States. Like,

that's how disconnected you really are. That's why the connections build so strongly because that's all you have to focus on. Yeah. Okay. Well, before we get to Mexico, let's go back to to you and Izzy, he proposes to you, even though you knew that was part of this show, were you like, what did you feel in that moment? Were you ready to, like, get engaged to this person?

You don't know what he looks like or anything? Yeah, I was on board, which is so not me. I am like commitment, like, pump the brakes, take it slow. But I knew probably a day or two before that, I was just like, there's a zero percent chance that he is not the one.

There's no way. And I didn't care what he was. looked like. I just wanted to meet him. Like, you fall in love. And when you fall in love, it's like you want to hold them, touch them, kiss them. And it's weird because you're thinking about all these things and you have no idea of things. Were you scared? Were you like, what if he's really ugly? No. I mean, really. I wasn't. I don't, I don't, I don't know how on that does sound strange. I just, I didn't know what to expect. Like, there was no image popping into my, you didn't have any, you didn't have any like in your mind tall, short.

long hair, short hair. I had a feeling he was bald and has facial hair. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he hinted. Maybe it came up. I knew he had tattoos. He had talked about tattoos and there was maybe something about that and baseball and he's

Mexican. So I don't know. I'm like, that's what I pictured. But even when I saw him like that, that still wasn't what I pictured because it was just like an eye one. And when you saw him, like we know, listen, when he saw you, he was happy. Like, he was a nuzzled in your boobs.

Like, he was ready. to go to the bedroom. Oh my God. You could really tell. Like there was a lot of a lot of sexual tension. He was actually really nervous. He was so nervous. I remember.

Yeah. So I was trying to just calm him down. So I saw it was all kind of a blur. That whole reveal is a blur. There's so much anticipation and excitement and you're looking at them. And then you hear the voice that you've been hearing this whole time that you've fallen in love with and you're still struggling to like, connect them. Is this real?

So it. was just a whole lot of, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's you. Oh, my God. So, yeah. And then you have to say yes again, basically, which I don't think it ever happened that someone was like, oh, no. Well, he froze. It doesn't show how long he sat there on his knee with the ring. And he wasn't saying anything. He was so nervous. He just sat there. And I'm like, I didn't want to interrupt if he was going to talk. And then he wasn't saying anything. I'm like, do I take it out of the box? Do you put it on? And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm like, put it on. And I don't even remember if he said anything. He was so nervous. I know. He just, he needed you to like hold him

Oh, I did. Yeah. And what were you feeling though? So in terms of like the way he looked, you were immediately kind of attracted to the whole package. I was attracted to him. But I think I was just thrown off by the nerves because he's such a macho, confident guy. And so that's why when we got to Mexico, that was the first thing he addressed was like, I freaked out. I was a deer in headlights like I am this man and it was more the charisma and the confidence that I felt more physically attracted to him in Mexico reveal it like you're cute but like what's going on it's a little awkward like you're cute I see guy I see like passion and the came in like when he owned his stuff and was a man in Mexico and Mexico yeah yeah you guys were fiery in Mexico

like if I was another couple there that wasn't you know thriving I would hate you guys like you were he was tossing over the shoulder at the beach and dropping me and dropping you yeah and you guys was it all pure sunshine there did we miss anything like i feel like you guys really kind of it was smooth sailing there it was really great it was a lot of smooth sailing there was like one little blit where it was just a lot to drink on his part where i'm like hey Like, I know you're younger than me. Like, I don't want this to be a party boy phase. Like, are you going to be this drunk all the time?

So that was like a conversation we have that you don't really see. But he addressed it with, I guess, his mom. When we came back, she was like, what does she think of you? And basically, she thinks I drink too much. And she's like, then get it together. And he did. But that was really the only blip that we had. The rest of it was smooth sailing.

Well, let's talk about then meeting the fam. First of all, he meets your fam. And even though like your family has questions and they want to know like what he does and like, you know, make sure you're taking care of, they love him. Like they accept him. They embrace him. Did you expect that? Do they usually accept like your, your boyfriends and stuff? They do at first. Just, I mean, they're a very warm and welcoming family. And I think it's more with time that they're like, if there's something where they don't really see it working out or, you know, if you vent to your family about a fight, then it's like, oh, well, maybe this isn't meant to be. but like all of the ladies in my family I knew I'd be like I'm so great we're happy if you're happy

and my dad I thought was going to be like that so I think but so he exceeded your expectations or dad yeah which is funny because I'm sure everyone was like he was very stern

but that's how he is that was him being open and welcoming because I'm his daughter and I'm going to get married to a stranger in a couple weeks and you literally broke down there you cried you were like

he's my person Have they ever seen you like that before? No. No, I've never said that. I've never felt that way about someone and I've dated a lot. I've had serious relationships. I've brought people around. It's never gotten to that point.

So I think they're all in shock too. And that's why it was so emotional where it's like they know me and they trust me. So when I am saying it for real, then they all like, I think they fell in love with him too at that moment. Like, okay, like you're a part of this family. We're doing this. I love that. He comes to your house. you're very proud of this house.

You bought it, right? Yes. I had just bought it three months before I left for filming. And the way you're touring him around the house, you're like, and we'll put this here. Like, it feels like the plan is for him to move in with you. Yes, because he was in an apartment and said that his lease was ending, I think, within the month. Mm. And then you go to his house.

There's the incident with the loss and found drawer that really upset you. Yeah. It wasn't just, there was more to that apartment that I was just in the twilight zone. When we first walked in, if you look under his island, there is a huge Christmas tree box. Mind you, it's April or May. And I'm like, is this storage for something? He's like, oh, no, it's an actual Christmas tree. I'm like, why is it here? And I open it and it's filled with dirty pee pads. Like dogs had peed on these pee pads. I'm like, you got to throw this away. No, why is this here? And then he had two of the same couch where like, one. of the couch cushions is, like, torn up by the dogs. And then there was no nice thing. There was no dog. Wait, does he have dogs? He has two huskies. Oh, he has two huskies. And that was another issue is our dogs did not get along. It was a fiasco. Oh, so did the apartment smell with the pee pads? The pee pads smelled and that's probably why he put him in the box. The apartment itself did not smell. It was actually pretty clean from what I've seen for a single dude at his age. And I wasn't bashing him for not having furniture, but I'm like, if we move

into my house or another house, like, these are the pieces of furniture we should purchase because of these reasons. And then the comment about the lost and found, honestly, he should have just kept his milk shut. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think the point, and I saw a few people write that to me when I was talking about it, they were like, like the point that we got you on, but I'm not sure you said, is like, did you keep this? in case, in case they come back and are looking for it? Like, is that why you kept it? It was a legit question because I, when I lose one earring, I throw the other out.

There's no point to have it. And I didn't see the point in the argument because my point was throw it away. And he's like, why do you care? Why do you care? Why do you care? Why do you care? Were you worried? Like, was your main concern, like, that this was some sort of, like, victory box of, of, like, girls that he fucked?

Yes. And who had it named? Yeah. I don't know how else I was supposed to take that. Yeah. I could see you being cringe. I can totally understand being cringed. How did you get over that hump? You see us talk about it in the kitchen. And that was just one of those things where they wanted us to like kind of close the chapter instead of just sweeping it under the rug. How we got over it. I think we just moved on. He said he threw it away. And he threw it out. And he threw it out. I never went back to that apartment to know for sure. But you never went back to that. So, in general, were you expecting worse from the apartment? I mean, we've seen things on this show that were worse. So were you scared it was going to be a shithole?

Like, would you have judged that harshly? I was more concerned about cleanliness. I don't care so much what it looks like or where the furniture is from. It's more like, are you an adult or is there, like, peanut butter with an open lid sitting on your counter? Oh, you like a frat boy. Yeah. I mean, we've seen people on the show have roommates. I mean, you know, we've seen things. We've seen, you know, Cole's toilet I'll never forget. I don't know if you watch that season. That's what I was fearing. And it wasn't that. So it was better. It was the stuff that I wasn't expecting. Like, yeah, it was the, it was the random stuff. If you guys haven't heard of Quince, then hello, time to get introduced to it. quince creates timeless classics and never go out of style literally you guys i got such cute stuff from quince i got linen pants i got short sleeve cashmere tops and i won't forget i was wearing it one day my mom comes up to me and she goes is that quince and i'm like hello modern woman my mom

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just the easiest way to do it. Macy's has everything. You guys know that. So go check out Macy's.com slash gift finder money comes up a lot for you guys i think from a viewer's perspective it does look like you're you come from a certain family you have your own apartment you're doing well money is available to you that's what it seems like it doesn't seem like rich privileged bitch or anything like that but it seems like you know you've lived a certain way you're used to certain things. Did you have any fear in the pods that like, or any inkling from Izzy that maybe he doesn't live the same way you do or anything like that? I don't, I didn't expect anyone to live the same way I do. And even me and my sisters, we're all different. I like nice things. They don't care.

So that's why I'm like, I work hard for this. This is what I care about. You don't have to work as hard to have nice things if you don't care about nice things. It was more about career path, drive. Where do you you see that going that was always kind of like, I don't know, or there was no answer, which is why I'm like, come on, like, what is our playing together as a couple? What are we building together? And I at the time was in therapy and had an attorney where they're like, you have got to talk about finances because everything else was good. So I'm like, if I don't have time for premarital counseling, what do I need to figure out? And they're like finances. You've got to pull out all of the bank statements, every single credit card. Highlight anything that you spend.

it's over $500 and you switch it with your partner so that you know everything. Whoa. I mean, people don't do that in the real world, though, Stacey, I feel like. Yes, they do. I asked all of my friends. They're like, yep. And they all are well-to-do, successful. They're like, we absolutely did that.

Wow. Women I work with, they're like, yeah, we did. There's no right or wrong answer. But, I mean, you're going to find that out. You need to know how people spend. Yeah, I guess when you meet it a certain, like, if you're meeting as high school sweethearts, obviously you're not at that place and you build your, your life together. But I'm assuming you're right. If you meet in your 30s when you're already

working for years and whatever, then it's very different. Do you work with your dad and also at the Pilates? Yeah. So I work full time in oil and gas. My dad is a feedstocks broker. I run the operations for his business. On the side, I teach Pilates as my way to like be involved in the community, be able to meet more people. It's my feel good, like rewarding job that occasionally buys me. pair of shoes. And then I started my own business back in the fall doing styling and closet organization. So for me, I'm very much a more is more like if you're willing and able to work hard. That's just my mentality. And I don't expect everyone to be that way. It came down more so to, I don't expect a man to support me, but I don't want to support a man. I want to be a team.

And finances come up so much because he would never address it. What does he do? He works in He works, well, he was working as an insurance salesman for globe life. So he was selling like corporate insurance. But he had just started the job. So when we get back to real life, I'm saying that this is a brand new job. He's riding around with his manager. He's in training. He doesn't even know how much he's going to make. It's not salary. It's contracted work. There's no benefits. All these things that are coming out towards the end where I think that's why he never wanted to talk about it because I don't think he knew how to explain to me what he made or what his goals were. I mean, I think what's important for people to know is that because you were getting

some judgment for that, not the credit card, expecting him to pay for dinner. So did you feel like people were giving you flack for saying that that you would expect a man to pay for dinner? I fully expected flack, but I mean, each person should have their own expectation and that was mine. And I was clear about that. And also, it's like, if you're going to move in here, and this is my home and I'm offering these certain things. Like, I would expect you would want to pick that up. Yeah. I mean, that's a good point.

And in relationships, it's not the guy paying for everything. It's like they pay for the dinner. I'll get the movies, the coffee, the groceries. Like, I don't want them to pay for everything. It's more of how I was raised when you're out of dinner and it's a date. You feel like, I feel like a woman and I feel special when the guy takes out the card. It's, yeah. That's just how I was raised and it's, there's no right or wrong.

If I were you in that moment and I said that. and the reaction of the guy standing in front of me was Izzy's, I'd be worried. Do you know what I mean? Like his reaction, he did not like that. He was judgmental of you in that moment, that that's what you expected. He was like splittsies, you know? Well, how did you, I mean, that's what I'm in awe of you in those moments because it's like, obviously you felt so much for him that you kind of not brushed under the rug,

but accepted like, okay, this is really important to me. He's saying he doesn't feel that way. and he's even, like, disagreeing with you on that. Well, there's part of that conversation that's left out, but we were talking about if you had lived with someone before. We're seeing each other's places. He had lived with several women before in his past. I had never lived with someone.

And so I'm like, well, why did you move in with someone if you weren't engaged? How did that happen? And it was typically women that, you know, had lost their job. And it was like, more convenient. I can't pay rent. Can I move in with you with him? So I'm like, well, in those situations, who was paying for what? And he's like, well, I paid for it because they couldn't.

And I'm like, so we get to split it because I can. That didn't sit well with me. I just don't understand that still. Like, why would you support someone financially because they can't and maybe they're not financially responsible, but I am so we can split it or I get to cover it? Like, I just don't understand that. Yeah. With those disalignments, were you concerned? Were you growing more concerned about the financial stuff? Yes. I just had a feeling that it would be. be a tense topic for us. If we had worked out, it would probably never be comfortable. And then the credit cards come up, the debts.

Someone tried to warn you, Lydia. No, no one warned me about that. Oh. Johnny. But it's on the show. Somebody says, he had told Johnny. I was not in that room when that conversation happened. Johnny was talking to a Stefania saying like, well, he doesn't have a lease or switching

leases and he doesn't have credit. I never knew that. He never told me that. I didn't know that Johnny knew that. That was the first time watching the show. That was the first time I knew that anyone else knew that. But you know what? It makes sense to me, Stacey, because Johnny probably in their vibe, he probably understood

that who you are, that you're hard worker, that you've been, you know, saving money, that you bought a house, that you have different. He was scared to tell you. He wasn't scared to tell Johnny, probably. That's all I can assume. I haven't asked. Or maybe, maybe they talked about it. and it didn't go well so he's like well i don't want to tell anyone else about that i don't really know

so basically because we don't we see the aftermath of your guys's conversation about it but basically it sounds like he has no credit cards because his credit is so bad did he explain to you why like that even happened he did okay and we i'm assuming there's a reason we don't see it on the show because that's something is keeping private we didn't really want to talk about that on camera anyways because I wanted him to be forthcoming and honest with me, and I feel like that's something that is hard to talk about when everyone's watching and it could get leads to the world. It was a hard story to hear.

I do feel really bad for him for how it happened. But like that big of a story tied to it, the merit in which it was released to me, all of it was like, why would you not think to tell me that? And it was more... But did you not assume that he didn't want to tell you that because he was scared for you to know?

That's not what he told me. He didn't say it was because there's times where he's like, oh, like if people ask, are you afraid that she would judge you? And he was like, well, yeah, but he told me he didn't think it was a big deal. But you said in that conversation, we went to a gas station and you didn't have a credit card. Like, in that moment, what did he tell you? Why didn't you have a credit card? He told me it's because in college he had them and he wasn't keeping track of what he was spending

and he preferred like debit because at least it's money you have coming out of an account. That's a difference. between debit and credit. And so when you told me that was like, then I'm going back through all these things. I was like, that was a lie. Why wouldn't, that would have been the perfect opportunity. Like, let me tell you this is actually why.

But that also was in my brain. It's not just the credit. Like, why didn't you tell me then? There was another opportunity here. Right. Then it's all these other things. Can I trust what else you're saying? But then you hugged and you,

you accepted kind of his answers after that conversation. I don't feel like the answers were accepted. I think that we were between a rock and a hard place and now what? Now what? I mean, what do we do? I mean, what do you do? Unfortunately, and this is real life guys, you know, the financing was a big kind of issue in your relationship. Like you're coming from different places. He's not kind of understanding. He lied about certain things. The other stuff that was mentioned that he just got a passport, you know, his favorite restaurant is Chipotle. Those things were things that you did know, though. Yeah. It was all slowly coming out. So not from the pods.

No. It was like after his house tour, I was like, let's go get something to eat. Like, what, this is your neighborhood? Like, what's your favorite restaurant? He's like, I don't know. I just eat Chipotle. And I'm like, you don't know any of your neighborhood restaurants? Like, look on open table. And he's like, what's that. I'm just like, whoa. No. He didn't know what a pre-up was. When I was talking about finances. I'm like, I've got to figure out what part of this house I keep. Are you going to pitch in for appliances? Because this all affects the value of my home if something were to happen and who gets what. Stacey, you're at really different places. I mean, I think that's an important thing to note. Like, yeah, you're, you know, people could criticize the who's being for dinner. But

you're talking about a pre-up. He doesn't know what that is. You're worried about your house, which makes sense. Yeah. What was your family saying at this time? Because I feel like, you know, the financial aspect was important to your family as well. well, they wanted to know what he does and everything, which makes sense. Were you talking to them trying to get their advice? What were they saying? I remember calling my sister, my sister Chelsea, when I had a freak out moment of like, oh my God, like we are in very different places.

I think it was after seeing his house and she was like, this is a lot. It's a pressure cooker. Time will tell. She was just trying to like support, like be patient, ask all the questions. like you cannot get married without turning over every rock. And I know that people don't like it, but I don't want to get married and be in debt because he gets in a car accident and doesn't have health insurance and that comes back on me. I think it's just being a responsible adult.

Well, let's talk about the altar, babe, because shocking decision. I mean, now that we've kind of talked through it, I can understand. But as a viewer who hasn't talked to you before, I'm watching it. You're so in love. You know, families, his mom loves you seems like, right? Yeah. I just want to tell you, too, in that episode when you met her, like, you have so much confidence with parents.

It's wild. Have you always been like that? I think I'm just confident in who I am. And if I'm myself, like, I would hope they like me. And if they don't, then it's like a shame. And then I can like work on that relationship. but I'm always myself. It's intimidating, but it's like, what else do you do?

But be yourself. So anyway, his mom, though, did seem to be support of the relationship. Everyone's there. He's emotional. He's sweating. That head is sweating. It was. That head is sweating.

And he says yes. Did you know that they were going to ask him first? I didn't, but I had a feeling because he knew that I was saying, no. Oh, he knew? Mm-hmm. we had talked, I mean, probably the entire night before the wedding. I don't think either of us slept. We were just like up on the phone crying. It was just like, why is this happening? Like, just all of the information that came out so late, it just felt like everything was kind of

crumbling down. And then we have to like face our entire friends and family the next day. And it was just like, we're going to get through this. We're a team. And I didn't really know that he was going to say yes, because he knew that I was going to say no. So I didn't, I didn't know. So you didn't blindside him. That's important to know because I was going to ask you if you blindsided him. No. I mean, we're very honest with each other. Like the good, the bad, and the ugly, we are very honest with each other.

And I feel like that's why we are still strong at this point because we trust each other in that way. Like, I've got your back. We're going to go up there and it's going to suck probably. But like, let's do it. And I asked him like, you know, why did you say yes if you know I was going to say no? And he's like, because I wanted you no matter what you were going to say. Yeah, because, I mean, that's manly, though, like, to his credit. Like, that's a manly thing because, you know, men have egos that are very big.

And a lot and a lot of them would say, no, because, like, they don't want their ego. But he felt yes, even though he knew. I mean, that's really sweet. And I think that Izzy is very misunderstood, at least from what you see. But he does not have an ego in that way at all. He leads with his heart 100%. no matter what that means. And I think that goes back to like our connection on vulnerability is like,

he like leaned in the rejection because he's like, that's my truth. So at the altar, he accepts the no. He kisses you. He's like, we'll kind of make it through this. You know, we'll because your no is accompanied with, you know, I want to see if this, you know, continues the test of time. But then the next scene where you're kind of in the field, he is so hurt. and makes it sound like he can't do this

because you're at such different places. So how does that, why did he say that at the altar and that to you? I don't know. I was shocked. Like how you see it is how I saw it. I think that he had like an interview in between where maybe it was like some self-realization of like, oh my God. I don't know.

There had been something that happened in between there that didn't involve me because I was the next time I saw him and he was completely shut down. Completely shut down. So then you leave it like that for real? Like that's how it ended. Like you felt like, okay, this isn't, this, we're not going to keep going. We did for the most part as far as you see like at the wedding venue, but we left together. We left the wedding venue together. I think it was trying to get out of the stress of the cameras because it is our real lives and that was something traumatic to just stand up there and do and deal with.

I think he was just shut down from that aspect of it. But we all met up later with friends and family and tried to have as much fun as we could. We hung out that night. And then we both agreed, like, let's take some space. Like, this has been too much. Let's take a week or two and, like, reconvened to figure this out. Can you tell us where you are today? We're very close.

He knows I'm on here right now. Is he in the other room, Stacey? No, no, no, definitely not. Well, I just want to say there were some Instagram hints that I don't know how quickly you got rid of them, but there were some Monday flowers. There was happy wife, happy life. I think the evidence was quickly gotten rid of. But I'm going to assume that you're together.

And hopefully we find out. Do you want you to answer that? I mean, I do. I don't know if you're allowed to. Me and him are not together. You're not. No. He and I are not together.

were very close. So what were those images? He sent flowers after TMZ. He sent like apology flowers. Oh, that he was seen with another woman. Yeah. And rocked my world. I'm like, are you serious?

So you weren't together at that point, too, when the TMZ article came out? No. Okay. So it wasn't like fucked up or anything. No. It was just a mess up on his part because the show was still.

Yes. Gotcha. How do you keep a friendship then? That's pretty cool. So we didn't talk for a year. It did not end well. We were on very different pages when we reconvened. There was a lot of resentment, anger, hurt, and we didn't speak at all. And then we ended up running into each other at a bar. And I was with my mom and one of my sisters, because I'm pretty sure one of us would have just left the bar if it weren't for them. And then my mom's like, Andy, oh my God. Then my sister runs over and I'm like, I haven't spoken to this man in here. I thought he was going to hate me from everything that happened. And he came over, gave me a hug. We actually both, like, cried. I definitely cried.

I just felt this sense of relief because he was my partner through this whole wild ride. And it was around the corner of airing. And I felt very alone as far as, like, handling whatever came with it. Because he's the only person that went through it with me. Right. So we reconnected. And there was a little bit of confusion as far as, like, what are we doing? We've never been friends. We've always been this other thing. So how do we

navigate that? And it took probably a few weeks where it was too confusing where there was still that flirtation and that connection, but it's like, no. So we just set very hard boundaries of like no physical anything. We're honest if we're dating anyone else so that it's all very open and out there to everyone involved. And it's been the biggest blessing to have him by my side through this full thing. So you get to like text about episodes and like talk about what's happening, gossip about other cast members. So wait, just to make it clear, after the wedding, you said you left

together, you thought you were going to take a little space and then reconvene and there wasn't any time that you dated? No. It was, we were on such different pages. Like, his lease was ending. He's like, no, I still want to be engaged in full speed ahead to a wedding. I want to move in with the dogs, which

our dogs literally talked to each other, like, bad. They had to move out while we were filming because it was very bad. I'm like, how does it work? I also had a roommate move in while I was filming and my house was under construction. It was not okay. I'm like, what are we going to live on the roof? It was just a mess. I'm like, I want to start over. I feel like all this information you gave me at the end with credit, finances, career goals. We need to start over to rebuild that foundation. And he was like, no, I was like, no, I don't want to be full speed head to a wedding.

I'm traumatized from this one. Like, let's take a break. Yeah. He thought, he took it as like, you're not in love with me. He was upset. And I think it was best that we just check up later. Wow. I'm, I'm shocked to hear it. I'd not expect that. And it is wild because at this current moment, Lydia and Milton are, you know, the unexpected couple that got married. What do you think about them? Do you, did you support that relationship? Did you think it would end up in a wedding? I didn't think it would end up in a wedding, but it's because I didn't really know Milton that well. I knew Lydia, but I didn't really see them together as a couple a whole lot. So I have no idea what they bonded on, connected about.

I had no idea over the last year and a half. I've gotten to see them and gotten to know Milton more. I love him. I love them together. I mean, Milton, I feel like, is the true hero of the season from the men's side. I mean, he is delicate. I'm like, he's such a sweet giant, this man. He is great.

And they really do compliment each other so well. and now that I know them, I kind of hate seeing how it is on the show because everyone is just like not about it, but like I see it. I see their connection and how they handle conflict and how they have fun together. I love them together. So in the moment, I was surprised that they went all the way to the altar and said yes, but now that I know them, I'm not. So it sounds like they are still together. They're thriving. They're well. They're happy. Wow. Wow. I love to hear that. Are you in touch with any of the other cast members? Yeah, I'm in touch with all of them, except for one. Johnny? Wait, is Johnny still with Chris? I feel like, I don't, I feel like I'm getting myself in

trouble. I don't even know what I'm allowed to say, what I'm not allowed to say. Well, she can tell me later, if anything. Don't worry about it. Okay. Yeah. You'll, you'll definitely see a reunion. Well, I'm excited for the reunion. And thank you so much for coming on. You were so great on the show. And I think I even said this. I know if you were, if you saw it, but I remember at the beginning, I was like, I didn't think I would like her, but I like her. And I don't know why I didn't think and you were right. Like, I don't know many people don't like blondes right away. I don't know what it is.

I don't know why I was like, but I was like, I like her and I wasn't expecting to. So just so you know, you were really great this season. We were rooting for you, but completely understand your decision. And I hope everyone else does too. And thank you for coming on. Oh, my God. Thank you for having me. This is the first podcast I've ever done.

So I was nervous. Yay. I took her podcast for Genity. No, you did so good. Thank you. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Okay. I'll see the reunion. Okay. It's good. It's juicy. All right. Bye, babe. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast. We don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast. and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo.

Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.