Not Skinny But Not Fat - Mae Whitman: Sleepovers, Singing, and How “Parenthood” Led to “Up Here”
Episode Date: April 11, 2023We all watched Mae Whitman run around the streets of NYC alongside George Clooney and Michelle Pfieffer in One Fine Day, play a Girl Scout on Friends, and grow up to portray Amber the rebelli...ous teen on Parenthood, and guest on shows like Arrested Development, Good Girls and now on Up Here on Hulu! We discuss growing up in the industry and remaining sane, the importance of a good support system, changing industry standards, singing, sleepovers, her obsession with astrology and more!!!! Produced by Dear Media This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast.
You might know me from Not Skinny Bonifah on Instagram where I spend my time talking
about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture.
I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars.
We talk about what's going on.
Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking about your best friends and your
living room.
Do you have self-tanner on your hands?
No, should I?
Show me?
The other side?
Your palms are like tan.
They've, okay, my palms, I have like a jaundice moment or something because I swear to God.
People are always like, what's wrong with your, why does it?
And I'm like, these are just my hands.
I think there's like a thing.
Wait, people have noticed it before?
I was born jaundice.
I'm not going to hide.
You can be honest about your jaundice.
It's okay.
It's cool.
Jondis stars, they're just like us.
Yeah, I was born jaundice.
I don't know what it is, but it happens to like the bottom of my feet too.
Like if I'm like in a pool or something for a long time, they go like orange.
People are like, sweetie, you need to blend before you put the tanner on.
I'm like, I don't fucking have tanner on.
I can't believe that's a thing.
I love.
We should look into that and see why that happens.
I mean, that's a fun fact.
It's a fun fact until we decide that it's probably like a deficiency that's going to kill me in three years.
But until then, it's hilarious.
You guys, I'm so excited and so sweaty.
Me too.
Same.
It goes hand in hand, you know.
With May Whitman.
I mean, I'm such a huge fan of yours.
My God.
The day that you started following me on Instagram was like almost equally as exciting as when Kim Kardashian's.
Don't.
I swear.
I did not see that coming.
Can you tell me the handle?
I would love for.
to. The handle Mr. Garf came from, I took a vacation in Jamaica, and there was a Rastafarian
landscaper that everyone kept talking about. They were like, oh, have you seen Mr. Garf yet? And I was
like, what? And they were like, you'll see. And I was like, what, what means Mr. Garf? And then
literally one day, it was kind of like, a don't find him, he'll find you a situation. And like one day,
literally this man popped out of the bushes, like, and like accosted me and was like,
all he said was take this go in the ocean and wash your hair with it and I was like oh and it was
like a it was a like a cactus plant they call it a tuna plant and I was like I don't know what's going
on here but I'm going to do whatever this man says and I went in the ocean and I rubbed this tuna plant
in my hair and my hair looks great what can I say that's the story that was my interaction with
Mr. Garf they were like oh Mr. Garf found you did he do the tuna that yeah good for you that means
you're like worthy. And I was like, Mr. Garf, it just stuck in my head. What did he look like?
Like a wise old man who popped out of bushes. To help with hair? Yeah. It's a very weird story.
I know. But you ask. Was it really good? Or did you have to lie? No, it was really good. Is it like when
you get a facial on there like, see? I'm like, wow. And I'm like, wow. And you don't see it.
No, it was actually amazing. The best part about it was. It wasn't a transactional experience. He didn't
come back for validation. It, I never saw him again. He just. He just,
was like, you, if you don't get it, you don't get it, take the tuna or leave it. And I took it.
And it looked, it looked great. I didn't need to condition. I didn't need to, it was like clean,
but like not tangly. Isn't it so strange? Were you high? Probably. I mean, I can just assume
that if I was in Jamaica, I was definitely high. Yeah. But the weed there is different. It's like every
you, it's like, it doesn't like, it's not like chemically altered. So you're not like bouncing
off the walls when you smoke it. It's like kind of just like an every day. It's like a cough
They, like, you have your coffee, you smoke some weed.
It's like, it's very light.
So you can smoke it without, like, feeling like your skin's feeling off.
I think I'd get anxious about just using whatever Mr. Garf would give me.
Well, listen, you sometimes you just got to trust the process.
I've been hearing about this, Mr. Gar.
You don't get a name for yourself if you're not, if you don't know what you're talking about, like the way that I'd been hearing.
So that's, so you opened your Instagram with that handle?
Well, I'd had Instagrams before.
And I had some good names, too.
And now I don't remember what they were.
You said Instagram's plural.
Yeah, I had old Instagrams.
My friend Jane Levy and I used to do this thing back in like the beginning of Instagram
where we'd get excited about it and have one and then be like, oh my God, I'm scared and then delete it.
And then we'd be like, okay, let's go back on.
And then we'd delete it and all of this.
I had one that was, it was something based on what something Maya Angelou had said.
Oh, it was Daddy Angelou.
I had an Instagram.
My original handle was Daddy Angelo.
But then I was like, I panicked and I deleted it.
And now I'm like, God, I can't believe I lost out on Daddy Angelou.
But Mr. Garf just took.
I don't know why.
And now my friends call me Garf.
And I'm like, that's chic.
Wait.
So, would you ever go to Maywitman?
No.
Really?
Me being like, who is that?
No.
Who needs it?
You know that people, because I've done, I did a study, everyone?
Hold your thoughts.
I know.
They're holding.
I know, you guys.
Guys.
So I did a deep dive once about celebs that had, that have like candles.
Right.
Okay.
Most of them gave in.
Like, to just doing the name.
Yeah.
Like, Billy Elish had, where are the avocados?
That's hilarious.
Isn't that cute?
Yeah.
Like, doesn't it make you like her more than that?
Yes.
And I've asked myself that question.
I know.
I'm like, excuse me, where the avocado?
I've said that.
Out loud to myself, to others.
And do you change it?
And I feel like people fall into that.
I feel like there's probably pressure.
I mean, I did like a weird promise to myself that I've obviously since violated but still pretend
to uphold, which is like the second that social media, it becomes
unfun for me, I'm out. Because I was like, something about this feels like it's dangerous.
This was like the beginning days, prehistoric days of social media. I was like, something about
this feels like the Wild West and not in a fun way. I feel that this could become not healthy
mentally. And I don't want it to become a facet of my career where others can like control it or
can, you know, make it into a tool that is something that I don't have control of because I'm like,
this is, it's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be like a genuine expression. And I feel
that like, obviously, we all do things that was, it does become a part of your career, apparently.
But I will say I don't allow it to like, for people to like strong army into like doing social
media stuff. They start army and everything else. But this, I'm like, you really, yeah, your Instagram is
very like not. I don't like it when people are like, don't do, don't put that on there. Because then
people will think this. I'm like, if I start listening to that, then it's all going to come
crashing back. Yeah. I'm like, the one thing I cling to is that I'm like, look, this is what
it is. If you don't like it, you can move on. This is what I have to offer.
Would you ever do like brand dealy stuff on Instagram? Oh, sure. I mean, the thing is, if I like a brand,
I don't have a problem like showing that I like it. I just don't, I can't do something that
feels like disingenuous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand, like, advertising stuff always feels weird,
But my thing is like, if I like the brand, if there's something about it that I like, if I like the people, if I like the brand, if I like what they're doing, I'm like, well, of course I'm going to, as long as I can genuinely talk about my experience liking it, I have no problem with that. It's more just like anytime something starts to feel, it's like we were talking about before of like wearing uncomfortable clothes. I'm like, ugh, if it starts to like rub the wrong way, I'm like, they can see it, I can feel it. And then I feel like it's less effective. Like I'm not one of those people that can make something seem real if I'm not.
really feeling it. I feel like it's pretty written all over my face if I don't actually love
something that I'm saying. And then I'm like, it doesn't, it doesn't resonate. So I mentioned to you
guys a little bit ago that I started taking Nutraful. Those are hair supplements. So I have tons of
hair and I was always super like, I don't care if like my hair sheds or falls out like because
everyone warned me that after you have a baby postpartum, there's like hair loss. And there was. There was so
much. But it kept on coming out in clums and I just kept on saying whatever. Like I have so much to go
around. I don't mind having, you know, Haley Bieber hair, you know, but that's not how it works,
unfortunately. And I started getting like these spots, especially in the front. So when I would do
like a pulled back ponytail, you could really see it. And I even had like, you know, when I had my
hair done and makeup done, I would have the hair person like kind of fill in that spot. So Nutraful
supplements are great. They're the number one dermatology.
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And literally I took it for about two months before noticing like, whoa, now when I do a ponytail,
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The promo code is not skinny.
I feel like we need to do a girls rewatch with Lena Dunham.
It was freaking amazing and ahead of its time.
while you're doing that, please know that the executive producer of girls just came out
with season two of an amazing show called Single Drunk Female, okay?
It's an amazing show.
It stars Sophia Black Delia, who's just amazing on screen and you'll fall in love with her.
And basically, it's about Samantha Fink, okay?
She started at Rock Bottom, now she's here or somewhere in the middle.
And her sobriety journey continues.
She got sober, but that wasn't the end of her.
journey. We're going to see her real challenges and hard work in being an adult, finding personal
success and learning to celebrate yourself while sober. So she's 549 days sober and counting and things
are looking up for Sam. And we want to watch her do it. Okay. So catch up on season one of single
drunk female so you can head in to season two and see Samantha's ongoing sobriety journey. And it's
really funny and relatable and authentic and you guys are gonna love it.
The season premieres on April 12th on free form and all episodes are going to be available
the next day on Hulu.
So catch up now you got a little bit of time.
You got a little bit of time.
Catch up on season one and tune in to single drunk female and free form and also
available on Hulu the next day.
Well, let's talk about that face of yours.
Okay.
Go.
Okay, go.
Look at it.
Oh, see.
It's the same.
It's the same phase.
You think?
I do.
And I think that's so special.
I mean, who doesn't know?
I'm like, I'm jealous of you.
Thank you.
And of your cute childhood face.
Thank you.
And of, I mean, you just posted.
Well, no, your profile picture is a picture of when you're.
My actual cute childhood face.
I know.
I know.
So let's talk about the roles that you did when you were a kid because they were wild.
I mean, you were in one fine day with George Clooney and Michelle Piper.
You were in When a Man Loves a Woman.
Was that the first one?
That was the first movie, yeah.
I did commercials before that, but that was my first movie.
So what age was that?
Four.
And I looked like a tiny little, like, American Girl doll.
Like, there's like, they do like wide angles, right?
I'm like this little stiff little, like, I'm like walking and you're like, how's that doll walking?
It's like so strange.
Did you know you were cute?
No.
I still, I'm like, no.
I can't think about it like that. I think part of me had to like disassociate like when I was like little from seeing like I remember growing up and people always being like, can you even can you like watch yourself on screen? And I'm like, yeah, because I'm not like, that's me. Oh no. Look what I'm doing. Do I like that choice? Do I not? I'm like, I do it. I send it off. And then I'm like, oh look, there's a person doing something. I just am like had to like deaden myself inside. Because I think if you start to like let that in again, it's the thing of like then.
all comes like ripping apart. So I'm just like, I remember George Clooney said once about
reviews that I thought was brilliant. He was like, you're never as good as they say you are
and you're never as bad as they say you are. And I was like, yeah, let's not start trying to
grab it every little thing everyone says and like put it in there. I like that. It's good, right?
For life. No, duh. Like for life. No duh. No, no, no, no. Like no comma, duh, and then
no duh. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because for everything, it's like, because in this industry and
And the internet, the celebrity, all of it.
People uplift people.
They put them on a crazy-ass pedestal.
And then they fucking tear them down.
Totally.
So it's like, don't put them on the pedestal from the beginning.
And if they do put you on the pedestal, realize it's not, you're not there.
You're not there.
Yeah.
You are not there.
You're good.
It's great that you are great, but that's not the reason you're great.
And those things don't have to be the reason, the thing you take validation from.
I think social media is tricky too because it's like, it's a,
an instant gratification, like, source of, like, validation. And I feel like that just feels
good. It's like where you are able to put something out there and connect. It can be this beautiful
thing. It's like being a Slytheran or a Gemini as I am. So I can speak to it. Yes. Go back.
Rewind the tapes. I'm a vehement. When I saw, it's so weird. I'm so not astrological. I'm
just disgusting because I'm a Gemini. So I love Gemini. Of course I am. Of course I am. Yay. So when I see
people that I like, and I saw you where Gemini, I was like, of course.
And I'm like, raging. And then you see like June 9th and it's like close to your birth
and you're like, oh, course, May 31st. Oh my God. And you're lucky because you've got some
tourists in there, which grounds you. Yeah, that's good. I was just going to say actually the word
grounded about you. Because how are you grounded? We're so insane. Thank you guys. That's hilarious.
It's wild. How are you like, you've seen things that happen to child stars and
It can be bad.
How do you explain the fact that you are today?
Okay.
Yeah.
Honestly, it really, like, I hate to give them all the credit, but it's my parents.
Family.
Yeah, they rule.
They're like, they are so cautious and they were so meticulous about, like,
prioritizing and, like, walking me through what was important in life and, like,
kind of what not to take personally and, and, like, doing it in a way that really, like, took.
It wasn't.
They weren't just, like, saying these things that I was like, I don't really get what
you're talking about.
But okay, I'll try to believe that, quote, unquote.
It was actually, like, our family was so communication based.
They're very, like, my dad is so cute.
My dad is so cute.
He's like.
No, I'm obsessed with him.
No, he's so, whenever you post him, I'm like, that is the most adorable man.
He's like, truly, like, he is, he's a tourist, which again is like my fate.
Although, like, I have so many tourist men in my lives.
Like, I'm like, my best friend Miles, like, my dad, I'm like, there's something.
I go by handle.
Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, Youngblood, I'm dying. Young goth. Can't you not say Youngblood?
I'm dying that even in my like professional notes, I'm like Youngblood.
I'm dying at all the people that are going to click Youngblood's Instagram and be like,
that's her best friend.
Youngblood's great, by the way.
I'm just saying, you know, I don't know.
Yeah, Young Goth.
Young goth.
He is a tourist and I'm obsessed.
And like, yeah, I feel like he's, I grew up with a gentle dad.
So that's like we, it's like a term that like I've coined with people.
I'm like, did you have like a gentle dad?
Wait, so what's that?
A gentle dad is like a sensitive dad, someone who doesn't, it's not, it's not.
the like, you're going to need to earn my respect through being, you know, it's like there's
no teasing in my house. There was no like meanness. There was no like you need to make us
proud. There was no. It was like an open source of communication and sensitivity and like
consideration. My dad is like crazy kind, really warm, really like a good heart. And he's kind
my mom is like super gregarious and like fun and outspoken and social and my dad is kind of like
quiet and you know more tucked away but really sensitive and I so I feel like I'm kind of like
the Gemini and me is like the exact combo of both of them like I go out and I'm all wild but then like
on the inside and when I'm by myself I'm like hush let's be cozy you know what I mean yeah but so yeah
I got lucky too because I think it's it's like the quality I look for the most when if when
And if I'm dating a guy, I'm like, are you a gentle dad?
You have a kind heart in there.
I was going to ask if that's like on your list.
It's the most important thing to me is like a kind heart.
It's like the thing I'm the most attracted to.
Obviously, sense of humor too.
But like I need to see that kindness in there.
Otherwise, I'm out.
Yeah.
You can't feel safe otherwise.
I don't know how to like.
You need to feel safe.
Yeah.
What's your like thing?
Well, I was just thinking about what you're saying because I feel like when people get fucked up from parents.
it could come either from overprotective parents.
There has to be that, like, secret socks.
It's got to be a mixed.
How do you know you're not like fucking them up and you're doing the good thing?
I feel like even when you do the best job you can, you fuck them up somehow.
Like I had a shitty dad, but that's why I have a great partner because I think I was like,
I'm not going for like a shitty.
But that's what makes you amazing.
That's on you.
I had it easy.
I came from a platform where I was already like elevated by like a super like easy.
That's why I'm attracted to people like you.
in my lives where I'm like, I have so, such a profound respect for people who came from
a difficult circumstance. Because I think it's like, when you come from a difficult circumstance,
you really either, because my dad had a tough dad. And he, I think, he wasn't a, he made the choice
where he was like. It's either that way. It's either making the choice. To either become that
or completely becoming opposite. Like you could have been an amber. Totally. I mean, there's a
part of me that's a little amber. Come on. There's a little amber and all of it. Wait, but so your parents are both
in the industry.
Yeah, my mom does, like, she's mostly like a voiceover artist and like she, but she was
doing commercials when I was little and that's how I like got into commercials.
What, like she was doing it.
You saw it and we're like, ooh.
It was like more, it was literally a story where, of course, my like little tyrannical nature,
I was with her at a commercial audition.
And, you know, I was like, actors are fun, especially when you're a kid.
It's like, they're wild and funny and crazy.
And like, when you're a little kid, you're just surrounded by like,
these wildly creative types.
And I remember I went with her to a commercial audition.
And I was hanging out and blah, blah, blah.
And I, like, when she went in the room, I, like, took off down the hall, like, escaped
my captors and took off down the hall and, like, bust into the room that she was doing
her audition.
And she was like, oh, ha, ha, sorry, sorry.
And they were like, hey, she's kind of cute.
Does she want to be in a commercial?
And my mom was like, no.
And I was like, I don't know what that is, but I want to do it.
If you tell me not to do it, I'm doing it.
It was like that kind of situation.
And I remember, I think it's.
cool, too, because my mom, my family was always so cautious. Like, it was, it always felt like
they were like, after every project, they were like, do you want to do this? Are you enjoying
yourself? Do you not want to do this? Is there something you're missing out on? You know,
it was like, the priority was always like, you need to, you need to tell us if this is not fun for you.
Do you think they were like that because they know the industry? Yeah. I do. And my dad's like a set
carpenter. Like he's like, he's a carpenter. He's like, he's a carpenter. He built. Yes, he built. He
designed sets and then like builds them for movies and stuff. So it's like, they both. They both.
had like knowledge of the of the industry, but it wasn't like they were like, I'm a failed actor
and I want you to live the dream. I couldn't have, you know, it wasn't like that kind of a nightmare
because that can be just as bad. You try to make your kid live out your dream even if it's not
right for them. It's like they always sort of were like we, first of all, they never made me
do anything I or not do anything I didn't understand why I couldn't do it or why I should do it.
It was like everything was a group discussion because I always feel like for me, rebellion would have really come in the form of if they told me not to do something but couldn't explain to me why.
I'd be like, well, I'm going to do it then.
Like, if I can't make sense of it, then I'm not just going to listen to you because you're my parents and I'm supposed to respect you.
Like, I was like, no, I need to know what it is that I'm, you know, Gemini's we need information.
Yeah.
And like, so everything was always like a discussion.
And I feel like they helped me make sense of the reasons.
why things were dangerous or what to do or what not to do or whatever. And so I was always
like, I mean, they're right. Like, I don't want to go to a party with a bunch of drunk teenagers
and get in a car and, like, put my life in jeopardy, you know, and I was like 14. And so,
and they also were like very open to, like, if I could, I would call him and be like, I remember
the first time I smoked weed at a party and I was like at my friend's house and I was like
15 or something. And I remember I called my family and I was like, I think that I,
I will stay at my friend's house tonight.
And they were like, why don't you come home?
And I was like, I have perhaps taken some time to myself that I don't want to come home in a car.
And they were like, my mom was like, did you smoke weed?
And I was, apparently I said, I'm not prepared to discuss that with you at this time.
And somehow they were like, fine.
And it was like this like standoff.
They were like, as long as you're safe.
And then like, we discussed it later.
And it was like, that's the thing.
It wasn't just this like, no.
Oh, yes, you can't do this.
You know, so I feel like that kind of like went throughout the whole situation.
Do you have siblings?
No, only child.
How do you summarize that?
I summarize it as I think it's.
I'm debating up to have an only child.
Do you have one?
I have one.
It's so hard.
And you feel such the pressure, two and a half.
Wow.
That's when I was really tense.
I was tense as hell.
How do you know that?
Stop.
I remember.
I'm just kidding.
But I do, my parents were like, you, you, you had us.
Your voice gets really high.
A strong personality.
Very strong will.
Very demand.
You knew what you wanted.
Fragarius, they say it all.
Yeah.
The euphemisms.
He's very expressive.
I'm like, wow.
What's his sign?
Leo.
I'm a Leo rising.
I'm sorry.
I didn't choose when to be born.
You're so into astrology.
I know.
I'm a mess.
And I'm in Aries, it's a whole thing.
It's a problem.
I am really into it.
And I also feel like something that is fascinating to me about astrology is I'm like,
once again, like Mr.
Garry.
it found me. I'm like, I didn't ask for this to be so true. I'm like, you guys, it's just
a, it's almost like, it's like a helpful tool. Like, I'm not trying to like base my, you know,
whole life around it. But if you meet someone and they're not a good sign, I just, if I, if there's
a tricky chart, and I don't just ask for the sign, I ask for the whole chart. I'm not,
I'm not crazy. I, uh, I need to know the whole chart. And, but, you know, if I ask for the chart,
it's not that I, how do I get my whole chart? You don't know your moon and your rising?
No, bro. Who does it? Do you have co-star?
Maybe I have nothing. What's that an app? It's an app. Come on the internet. So I enter it. Do you know your birth time? Yeah. Of course my mom every year. She was born. I can't. Of course. I exited me. Yeah. I'm iconic. Believe me. I know. My dad calls it like when you came out of the shoot and my mom's like don't say the shoot about where she came from. It's my body. But that if all you have to do is input that into co-star. I'll do it. I'll do it. It will give you your entire thing. Okay. Your love life. You're fighting. So you're on a date or new friends.
100%. Stop. Stop.
Yes. I'm like, go on the app and I'll add you and you can get all my dirty laundry and vice versa. It's wild. Like, to me, I just like, it's a helpful tool. And I've found that when I, like, recount it to people more often than not, they are like, holy shit. I relate to that in a big way. And I, so I was like, listen. I mean, it's not not real. It's not real. Even if you're not like, obsessed with it. Totally.
You can't say that you don't see your sign in yourself. You just can't. I've never met someone.
who has. And also, if we're going to talk about what's real and what's not real, the thread is
going to start unravel real quick because we're all in a simulation. We're like, a clothes, look,
food. I'm like, no, none of that's real. Nothing's real. It's all social constructs, basically.
So, like, I think, you know, any tools, I'm all about tools. Tools. Love tools. Because
you can't expect anything to just be the way that it's going to be without, like, having tools.
So many unexpected things will happen you in your life. And instead of
fighting them and panicking them.
Just develop some tools.
Yeah.
Just develop some tools.
Wait, so tell me about being an only child.
Would you, like, did you like it?
I personally loved it.
Like never were you like, I want siblings?
Here's where it gets tricky.
Siblings, I feel like are really great for bitching about your parents to.
Like you have no one to get it.
Yeah, you can be like, oh my God, can you believe when she does this thing?
I'm like, I can't go to her and be like, God, when you do this thing, it's crazy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I can, but, you know, that's, I wouldn't be great.
Exactly.
I could, but I'm like, that doesn't sound fun. Yeah, I'm like, I just want to, like, talk shit for fun. And I feel like it's like, that is great, especially like as they get older and you can be like, oh my God, like they won't eat the, their vegetables. What do we do? You know, that kind of thing. But I have to say, I loved it because I developed such a close relationship with my family, like, and having that bond with them. And plus, like, I was such a social kid that like, and if you have a Leo, you probably will have a social kid too. But I'm like that I had so many friends.
that had brothers and sisters and it was great because I could be like how fun you're like a sister
to me. I am going to go home though and have my own space because I don't like this.
You know what I mean? So I didn't feel like I was lacking. Oh so you liked your own space. Did you like
sleepovers and stuff or no? In fact, I hated sleepovers so much in fact that another weird story
that I would, I was always like, I'm going to try to be cool about this. I had like separation
anxiety where I hated it too by the way. I hate it. I was like I like my bed. I know and like the
temperature. Temperature control. It's important.
possible. I'm like, there's carpet, the bathroom is strange. Like, I don't want this. And I would
like, I would like, I'm going to keep trying. And I would keep trying. And literally, without fail
every time I would call my parents to pick me up to go home. Hashtag gentle dad. My poor dad. But I would
get embarrassed about like the fact that I wanted to go home. And so we developed a code.
Which was? Which was? I would call my dad, of course, completely casual. Like, I would be like,
yeah, no, I'm just going to check it. You know how they get. They're all like worried, whatever.
And I'd call and I'd be like, yeah, no, it's awesome. I'm having the best.
time I ever had. Hey, quick question. Hey, dad, did you feed the turtle? And that was our code.
And he would literally go, really? And I'd be like, yeah, no, I just want to make sure.
Just want to make sure she had her food. And he would be like, I'll be right there.
And then I'd have him like, I'd be like, sorry. I just would be like, and then I would have make
them the bad guy. And then I'd have them like wait 10 minutes and then call the parents and be like,
something's come up, you know. And I would be like, that's their problem. I gave the signal.
Now I wait. And it's just a waiting game. And then I'd have.
I was like, and every time without fail, my God, I remember it really got to a problematic point when I one time did it to a friend who lived in like Camarillo, which is like an hour away.
And my dad, like, you know, it was like 12 o'clock at night.
And he's like had to put on his shoes and come all the way out there.
And by the time he got there, I was asleep.
And he was like, we have to rethink this.
And I was like, I understand.
Yeah, like maybe I'll, I'll just tell them I don't want to.
Yeah.
Friends can be very demanding about the sleepover thing.
I never understood.
When they're the into it, when they're the intuit people.
And you're the not, they're like, but to sleep over.
How did they do it?
I genuinely never understood it.
They're the same people that are like, I'll just crash on this couch.
Imagine.
Literally imagine.
Crash on this couch.
No.
And also I'm like, don't crash on my couch.
I'm like, this is not a thing where it's like, you know how people are like, my family
is coming in town.
They're staying for three weeks in my guest bedroom.
I'm like, the fuck?
Yeah.
I'm like, I can't, like I come out and you're like, you moved my coffee maker and now I'm
going to have a mental breakdown.
Maybe it's an only child thing.
It might be.
Yeah.
I don't think so, though, because I have a lot of friends who weren't only children who also were like, yeah, it's just like, I like a good, like now as an adult. And you know how to end a good time.
Yes. My God. It's called boundaries, people. Yeah. Like, you had a good time and it end. Yes.
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So you just reunited with Jennifer Aniston.
Can you believe?
First of all, no.
No, me either.
Because when I looked up how long it's been, it was 20.
Don't.
Six years.
How?
I don't know.
I still think of myself as a scry young little.
Wait, you know, that we're the same age, too.
Yeah, we're 34.
Holy shit.
I'm telling you.
We're 34 together.
Wait, and you're right there.
We're like basically born.
We're the same.
So we experienced basically everything in the same way at the same time.
Which is wild.
I was trying to bring myself back because like, okay, I watched you.
Yeah.
But I was the same age.
So I watched you later.
So weird.
Like I did.
Right?
Yeah.
That's why what it was.
I guess.
I don't even know.
The time thing, again, I'm like, talk about a construct.
But I do think like, it goes, it's so funny now because I've turned into one of those old people
that's like, you better watch out.
It starts to go real fast.
I was like, yeah, whatever.
And now I'm like, hang on, five seconds ago, I was 23.
And now it's a complete, I'm like, what?
Where did it start?
Do you like yourself more now?
Of course.
But I recognize the things that I've lost and I'm like, RIP.
But the thing is I would never go back.
Like energy, the ability to drink alcohol.
It's gone.
Same.
I just stopped.
I had to stop entirely.
I couldn't do it.
I was literally.
Well, okay.
I have endometriosis, which is like the crazy cramp disease, et cetera, and it makes it, like, is a, it can really, like, make your trigger your endop pain. And so for me, it was like my digestive system is a mess anyway. And when I would drink, like in my 20s.
Well, it has to do with digestive as well. Well, it has to do with like hormones and whatnot. But yes, it affects your digestive system. Your nervous system. It's all like in the same. It's all entangled. And I feel like I, it's, and plus it's the sugar. And sugar is a major, like any inflammation is a big.
So you quit, like, I quit. And it was cool. It's like people, I say I quit and they're like,
hey, yeah, like I'm there with you, you know, 20 years sober. And I'm like, no, I'm not like somebody
called me straight edge the other day. And I was so offended. I'm like, they were like, oh, so you're
like straight edge. And I was like, no, I would do a drug if it was an appropriate time. I'm cool.
I still got it. I just like, I wasn't like, I'm quitting. I just one day was like, I don't feel like
being hung over. And now I can't drink without being hung over. I remember. I remember. Let's transport back.
I'm there.
To 2010.
My hair, it's, I have the little two pieces.
It's got, I've got clips.
Keep going.
I could go to the club till 3 a.m.
Same.
Drink.
Yes.
Smoke, whatever.
Yes.
Wake up.
Go to the beach.
Sunny 90 degrees.
No.
Bake.
No.
Meanwhile, we're sitting in this room at 4 o'clock and we're both ready to
go to bed and like change clothes.
So that's what I'm saying.
It's like, how was I sitting in the sun and baking?
Dehydrated.
About to die.
You were probably like.
This is good for me.
Like, I'm sweating out.
I would be dead.
I would be dead.
I would be digging myself a grave in the sand.
I know.
That's a wild thing about aging is really like, I think the digestive system, I feel like is up there.
It's done.
I ate like healthy chips last night and woke up in the middle of the night and pain.
Bro.
Healthy chip.
If you understand.
Like a whole food chip.
No, that's not.
It's a myth.
Even not.
Healthy chip is a myth.
But also, but I will say I do feel like my spirit is more at peace.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
You are who you are.
Yes.
You know what you want.
Less apologizing.
Right.
You're not making up about the sleepover.
No.
No.
I'd be like, I don't like sleeping over.
And if that makes me uncool, then so be it.
You know, I truly am like, I do feel like you're sort of like grasping at trying to put
together what you think you should be.
And every little thing feels so dramatic.
And like, I feel like it's like you, you feel like everything is all part of the same story.
Whereas when you get older, you're like, you can compartmentalize where you're like,
oh, that's because of this.
Like, I'm feeling that way because of this old thing that happened to me or because it's
like, you're not like, you did this to me and like, now it's going to ruin my whole day.
You're like, oh, I realize that when they said that to me, it may trigger that thing that I used
to do about blah, blah, blah, and like, now I'm letting it go.
Like, you just don't care.
And they used to say that about your 30s.
And I was like, yeah, right, I'm always going to be a neurotic mess.
And I hit 30 and I was like, bye, I'm done.
I'm different.
That's such a good feeling.
I know.
Can't we just see what 40s is going to be like?
I think good.
From what I'm seeing, like, celebrities.
I know.
Because that's what I'm basing it on.
I feel like it's better.
I'm like,
I can't wait to get there.
Like my digestive system's back.
I'm going to look chic and clothes.
They say it's like the best sex of your.
All these things are being said.
No.
I'm not kidding you guys.
So many people turn 40.
And I'm like, really the best sex?
And then you see JLo at 50.
You're like, wait, should I be 50?
If I can get there.
Then I'll be 50 tomorrow.
Like, I was never there at 12.
So like it's not going to happen.
But.
I love striving for something.
I know.
It's like at least we have something to look forward to.
Okay, wait, back to Jennifer Anderson.
I don't know.
I know.
That was a tangent.
Well, talk about like never better.
Talk about the most beautiful.
So you saw her, you never ran into her in these 26 years?
No.
I've run into others.
Like I've had, I worked with Lisa Kudrow, which is amazing.
I hung out with Courtney Cox because busy Phillips and my and my friend Dan were on Cougar Town with her.
So I've had like friends moments.
But no, never her.
And it was just so cool because.
Did you know?
before that you were going to be there? Oh, you didn't? I got there. And I also wasn't trying to be
like, hi, the 97,000th character actor that's come up to you and been like, remember me? We were on
friends. But she for sure remembers you. Well, who knows? It doesn't matter. It's not about that.
Again, Mr. Garf, it's not about checking in as to how the tuna plant was received. It's about
expressing the tuna plant at all. It was important to you to express to her that like, that she changed
my whole thing. Really? Tell me why she changed it. Well, you know, it's like for me, I've realized after all
this time, the thing I care about the most in my career, like, I would love to look back and
have people just, the thing I would want the most remembered is, like, them to be like, oh,
yeah, she was really cool to work with. She was really good to work with. Like, that's, I care
about creating a good environment, a safe, respectful, loving experience. I'm like, fuck the product,
frankly, if it's, if it's, the experience is good and everybody loves it, something good is going
to come out of it. And like the product will at least be something true and genuine and kind
natured. And I feel like that's the most important thing to me. And I feel like that was,
I only learned that because of working with people who had that philosophy. And I feel like that
environment was one in which, again, for some reason, Friends was my favorite show when I was
eight. Why? What was I relating to? I was like, oh, bad sex. I know. It's crazy. Right. Like,
what was I thinking was so funny. But looking back, there were a lot of things like that.
Yeah. Dirty Dancing was my favorite.
God, what movie, we truly were relating to something in there, not okay.
90s was a different time.
She was like...
So you, okay, you went on as a fan?
Yes, like, you knew it?
I went on as a fan.
I remember getting the call and, like, crying hysterically because I was going to be on friends, which is so weird.
And your cameo.
It's hilarious.
It was such a good episode.
Like, it's not like you were just like, whatever.
No, like in the background.
I had a whole thing.
And, like, then you're like, the other cool thing is it's like, you're, you're, you're,
it was my first like sitcom experience. And so you're like, it's almost like theater.
You're doing it with a live audience that's like reacting to stuff. And they'll stop and they'll
mess around and tell jokes of the audience and with each other. It's like there's like this
environment that was so different and exciting and new. And I feel like what could have been a really
like, because they're working every day and they're exhausted. And you know, it's like it would
just have made just as much sense for them to be like, I have to go lay down during lunch.
But like, no, they like sat with me and talked to me and hung out with me. And it's like,
what was this little act to them, like, changed the trajectory of my career.
Was it all of them or do you remember her specifically?
I remember, I mean, honestly, I remember, I actually remember all of them, but I definitely
do remember her specifically. Just being so warm. It was like, there was this, like, warmth.
And, you know, I, I cried, like, a baby when I left. I obviously idolized her.
I had the Rachel for up until, like, six months ago. And I, like, I truly, like, I just felt
like down the line, it would be, it would be really cool for some kid that I worked with to come up
and be like, hey, you made me really feel good in that time. You know what I mean? And it changed
my life. I know. It's really cool. How did she, what was her reaction? She seemed like she really
cared, but she's an amazing actor. So like, God bless. Either way, I'm taking it. I'm running with
it. That was a cute moment. Did you know they were getting it on camera? No, I knew they were like,
can we take a picture with you guys? And I was like, yeah, of course. That would be awesome. But I was like,
I'm just getting, and, you know, those shows are crazy because they're like,
you have 30 seconds. And I'm like, I just want to tell you this.
Say, hi. You know what I mean? Like, there was like, there's like this panic energy.
Oh, I'm glad you got that moment. Me too. I know. What how special. I know. She's so tan.
She's tan and beautiful and she has beautiful skin. I'm like, I'm going to need to know what
face soap you're using. Let us know. Right now. If you get this smart water is just,
what electrolytes are in there in that bottle. Okay. So aside from all the things you did as a kid,
It was like one fine day, watch it a gazillion times.
It's so good.
You really got like, you got like good shit.
I know.
It wasn't like you were.
So how didn't you fall into the Disney route?
Did that ever come up?
That was my parents again, you know.
They were aware of kind of the, I think like Disney, especially back then, it was sort of more of like a machine.
Like the Disney Channel was like, and it was almost like way more like exploitative.
Like it was very like, make it cute.
Put the pig tails on the little.
girls and the outfits like there was this there was there could be an element of it that didn't
feel quite like grounded or like it's once again it's like you just have to have people around
you who genuinely have your best interest at heart because I think that's the real trap with like
child actors that's a real trap and I'm just saying not giving names always look at the parents
always look at the parents my publicist is nodding she's been with me since I was a little
child she knows my parents yes and she is like your parents where are you
your parents. And sometimes they're not there. Yes. And then you, when you start asking yourself
that question. I know. And it's usually like, look at Taylor Swift. I know. Great. Great. Always with her.
Always with her. She's doing great. Super present. Britney Spears. Where her parents? Don't know. Don't care.
A lot of pressure. Hope they're far away. A lot of pressure to be a parent. I'm on page one of all my
questions, which is literally what just shows you. It's a good interview. You don't follow it at all.
I know. So I just had to bring up the Duff because I loved it so much. And I like copied your outfit.
sure I bought the Doc Martin. By the way, my true, my real clothes that I brought with me,
because I was like, that whole concept, that's, that was so important to me that movie
because I was like, and it did so well. I know. I know. It did really good. Yes, and it overperformed
at the friggin box office, which was very exciting to me. I literally was like, I was like,
if I'm going to do this, we are going to do this right, y'all. This is not some cute, like,
throw it away. I was like, you don't fuck around with this subject matter. And I was like, I'm going
to do this because growing up in the public eye as someone who isn't like the whatever model,
supermodel standard of tallness or beauty or skinniness or whatever it was, I was like, I have been
treated as if I was like Shrek or whatever. No offense to Shrek, love Shrek. But I'm just saying
there is this Hollywood thing, which apparently, you know, again, people are more sensitive to now,
but it's like, you used to get breakdowns for characters. And I mean, constant, it was like,
the unattractive best friend who's jealous of.
the friend who's been the tank top like constantly. It was like, okay, here we go again. And it was
like, has a good personality, but we all know nobody cares about that. You were getting,
you were seeing those auditions. Oh my God, all the time. What would that do to your like self-esteem?
This is once again where I had good parents because they were like, hey, guess what? This is
bullshit. Yeah. It's hilarious. Couldn't be less personal. These people are pathetic and desperate
and have no idea what is cool and what is beautiful and what's good. And like the second that you're like,
ha ha I'm embarrassed for you that's not real they're like well wait we want that that's cool what
you're doing is cool like yeah there is no such thing as cool everyone that is trying to find cool
is like running behind the people that are actually cool who are the people who are like I don't
give a shit what you think is cool I want to do what I want to do that's what's cool and the rest of it
is all just trying to cling on to that so I feel like even if like I had to like fake fake it till I
make it, anyone? I was like, you know what? This is, I'm not going to do. I'm just not going to,
it's like, it had to be like math in my head where I was like, I'm not going to subscribe to this
because it's actually not real. And like, so I feel like that was what was important for me about
the duff was like to be like designated ugly. If you guys haven't seen the movie, see it. And plus
I'm like, it's an off putting title. But that's the whole point is that it's like everyone, this,
this like comparison culture. And it's, it's dangerous because we live in it now and especially with like
the widespread social media. And like,
the weird stuff that's going on, it's like, it's just really, it's even harder to like not pay attention
to that stuff because it's in your face at all times. And I feel like I just really wanted to show like,
hey, even me who you guys like might see, I've been on TV or might not think would have been
treated this way or felt this way. I dealt with this my entire life. And I wanted to show like,
that's the point is that everyone deals with this, no matter how much you may think that they're like,
I did it. I feel great about myself. That doesn't exist. And so.
So it was like, but I was like, we're not going to fuck around.
We're going to do this right.
We're going to make it so real to my experience.
We rewrote stuff.
I brought my own wardrobe that I used to wear that stuff and then get me fun of.
Yeah, it was like, I was like, Doc Martins?
Doc Martins and overalls.
And overalls.
Because by the way, comfort, comfort.
I am like utility comfort.
I can't.
The hair was dark.
The hair was dark, long dark hair.
No makeup.
I was like, I'm not going to wear like makeup stuff.
And it's like, and the cool thing is she doesn't change who she is.
She just goes, she's not like, I wish I was different.
She's just like, oh, if there's an easier way for me to like get through high school,
I can do that.
I'll put on the dress.
I'll wear the makeup.
I'll talk to the boy that's stupid.
Yeah.
But then she's like, whoa, whoa, at what cost?
This is fucked up and it's not real and it's not making anything better.
It's just making me feel worse and more lost.
And I feel like that's the risk when you start like trying to listen to the voices outside of you telling you
what's good or bad is that then you look down and you're like, where the fuck am I?
I don't, I'm not even, I don't know who I am.
At least if you stick to your own thing, you can be like, you know, I'm lost.
I'm out of control, but at least I'm friends with myself and I know we can like get through
this together.
You know what I mean?
You can go to sleep at night like, well, well, sure, unless you have wine, one glass of
wine, then you can't sleep without sweating.
I have, I have, I don't, yeah, three sips and I'm like, well, okay, two hours.
As of sleep, it is, the rest panicking about the text I sent the night before.
Parenthood for a moment.
Yes.
Love of my life.
Truly.
Such a good show.
I almost wanted to, like, riot, but I had watched it after.
And I was like, I can't start a riot now.
Sure.
Like, it already is off the air.
It would be, it would be iconic if you were like, hey, five years later, where are you?
You know, there's still time.
But that's how I felt.
And I wanted to answer about why this show, it was so good, touched every single person
who watched it to like, to really an iconic, I feel like it should be one of the shows that's like
with all the big shows that made an impact on people growing up. Yeah. Why did it end?
Well, once again, me and my talent of reframing things. I'm like, it's a compliment. Like,
I'm like, sometimes when you're a trailblazer, people don't understand you. And then everything
that comes in your wake gets all the special awards. And that's what's cool. You know,
there's like, I do think, though, in a way, it was like, it hadn't been done yet.
Like, nobody had really understood that, like, the deepest, truest, most intimate moments
of real life and family life is actually, like, the biggest drama that anyone could ever have.
Because, like, we all know, you treat your family like, shit.
There's no rules.
Like, it's wild.
You are crazy about it because you just assume they're going to love you anyway.
So some, like, truly insane shit happens.
Yeah.
And, like, but I feel like, but I feel.
like that, that was, it wasn't a proven method yet of like having people connect to something
like that. It was still kind of the time where it was like, but there someone will explode in
this season or not. And we're like, well, we haven't gotten to the explosion storyline yet.
We're working on it. You know, there was like, it was all about like bigger or crazier drama,
you know, all this stuff. And so I feel like we kind of were always the underdog and that we were
like, I know it's just about Amber liking her mom's boyfriend. But it's going to be crazy.
You're going to love it. You know, it was always kind of trying to this like
proof of concept. But I think the other really crazy thing about that show was that, like,
we improvised so much. Really? Like, so... Like went off script? So much. And, and truly, like,
as an actor, it was the most important, like, situation I'd ever been thrust into because
you literally would go, we'd go, okay, what are the important things that happen in this scene? And we'd be
like, you know, with me and Lauren, for example, it'd be like, okay, you're pregnant. She doesn't
want you to be. You work it out. Bye. And then...
Swear to God.
And I would go in the room and be like,
fuck,
I better be ready for whatever.
Because you have so much respect for it.
It was like all these insanely talented actors.
Yeah.
And I was like,
I better be ready for what Lauren is going to throw at me
because I want to be honest and present.
And so it kind of like shaped my process into being like,
I'm going to do whatever it takes to be as ready to be as honest as this person as I can be
so that whatever comes out is the truth.
And like,
so cool.
It's crazy.
we would have scripts and not and they were great but like they were this is the thing that's
so great about jason catams is he puts together a team of people and then he trusts them and that is
like and from the crew the cast everybody and i feel like on a set so much can be about like power
dynamics and like control and like kind of like governing with fear instead of love and i feel like
it really opened my eyes to how magic a product can become when everyone feels like they're
invested in it and they are actually a part of the story and like and they are they're appreciated for
what they're what they're able to give that's their special thing alone you you strive to find
the truth and the love and then convey that and so I feel like we would have these but Jason
would like listen if we'd be like I pitched the like luncheonette storyline thing because
yeah because Jason saw me carrying a guitar around set and he was like do you want to play a song
on the show and I was like I'd love to and then they opened their recording studio thing and I was like
you guys, it makes perfect sense.
She doesn't know what to do with her career.
And then there's this opportunity that's, like, about her real passion.
Like, get her in there.
And Jason was like, that makes perfect sense.
Let's do it.
Like, he was so receptive to what we brought to the characters.
And like, yeah.
So it's kind of like, I feel like that shows, though.
That like 5% more that's imperceptible to people who may not have the like foresight to
understand that from like the office building or whatever.
You feel it, even though you can't really put your finger on what it is.
So if you guys haven't, haven't seen Farrona, go back and watch all of it.
It's amazing.
Is that where you met Youngblood?
It's where I met Youngblood.
This was before Halsey.
Did they date?
Did I make that up?
No, they dated.
Okay.
I truly don't even know what I'm talking about.
I can't believe I just pulled that out of somewhere.
That is niche fucking shit.
Like, truly, right?
I was like, I think I read this somewhere, probably on your ping.
That was good, right?
Also has endometriosis Halsey, very alt-out spoken supporter.
We appreciate.
But, yeah, I feel like that was where I met Young Goth.
He actually, talk about, like, gentle dads.
Like, he was 14 when I met him.
And I remember being like, ugh, I'm going to have to be on a TV show.
I was, like, 20.
And I was like, I'm going to have to be on a show where I'm working with, like, a 14-year-old boy that's going to be like, ugh, blah, like, I'm annoying.
And I have things to prove and, like, whatever.
And then I literally remember I met this kid.
And he was so sensitive and so smart and so funny and, like, deeply kind.
And I remember we took a walk in Berkeley.
And we ended up, like, sitting by this lake.
And I was wearing a Teagan and Sarah shirt.
And he was like, that's my favorite band.
And I was like, you're my best friend and you're 14.
And I'm a love.
And like literally we never looked back.
Best friends.
And we see each other every single day when I'm home.
Like, without fail, still to this day.
And Lauren Graham's my other best friend.
And it's like sometimes we literally forget that we met on a TV show because we have spent
so much life after that that we're like, oh my God.
Remember when we like pushed each other over because I had pills in my purse or something?
Like, we're like, that's hilarious, you know?
It's so cool.
I love that.
Yeah, it's great.
That makes me really happy.
Yeah.
So did you film in Berkeley?
We didn't.
We filmed the pilot in Berkeley, which also was like part of the reason I got so excited to do the show because I love the Bay Area.
And I was like, oh, I'm going to be living that San Fran life.
And they were like, we're moving it to L.A.
And I was like, okay, I understand.
Well, at least you weren't in like, Canada.
I know, which I've been, I've done all those places.
And I, again, another thing that goes away when you're like old is like, I used to be able to like, because I was friends
of so many musicians growing up, that's another story. I remember I dated so many musicians
and I remember the first time I dated someone who wasn't a musician and my dad was like,
does this mean no more musicians? Like hopefully and I was like, maybe dad, maybe. But like I would
tour with bands and stuff and it would be like, I would be living out of like a duffel for like six
weeks. Like how the fuck? Like in like Howard Johnson's being like, it's all good. I'm just happy
to be here like on two hours of sleep. And now I'm like if I don't have like, you know, a bed that has the
right support. I'm like in the hospital for six weeks. I don't understand how I did
that. But, you know, that was like, I was a lot more adaptable back then. And you could kind of,
I would be like, cool, I'm moving to the streetport for six months. Love it. Awesome sandwich
shop on Main Street or whatever. And now I'm like, oh my God. Like, where's the, you know.
Yeah. Where's the match? Shampoo. Exactly. Um, good for you. So lame. Good for you.
And I do. I'm, quote unquote, straight edge. Okay. Don't come in me with that lameness.
I'm the lame as I mean. No offense. I think it's powerful to be a strange much.
No, I actually just saw somebody sober post the other day. It was like very like inspirational.
Yeah. It's the chicest thing you can do now.
The only drug that you have to defend not taking. Yes. Yes. You're like no, it's going.
No. Yeah. It's really hard. And social. It's like what you're supposed to do. Meanwhile, I'm like the only things I've ever really regretted I've done while I was drunk. So like and yet somehow we're like, isn't it? Right? I'm like, hmm, we should rethink.
parenthood, you worked at the luncheonette, you also sang on the show for the first time.
And that leads me into transition, everybody.
Woo, that was delicious.
You sing on your new show up here.
It's on Hulu.
I think by the time this comes out, it will be out, which is so exciting.
It is.
It's a musical comedy.
I've never seen anything like it.
I had neither.
I have not either, ever.
So tell me about getting the audition for a musical comedy and having to sing.
scary. I was so scared. I'm still scared thinking about it. Sometimes I wake up at night being like,
oh my God, I still have to do. Okay, I filmed the entire show. Ooh, like, it's like you have that
like panic. But it was like, I again, like, having done it for so long, you are like, I don't know.
I can't feel anything anymore. Is there like anything out there? So I, now I turn to things that scare
me. And I'm like, I may as well try this. And at least it'll be hilarious if I fall on my face,
you know. And so, but singing in a way of like thinking of my voice.
as like an instrument as opposed to like the ripping open of my rib cage down to my like
bare soul was like a complete impossibility to me it's always been like truly i'm like i have
been like naked in front of the camera been dead i've been dead and naked all the things anything
combination of things that should be really scary i'm like whatever and then when it comes to
singing i'm like this is a nightmare it's like so scary and so it was good right see now i'm
I'm a different man.
I like, I was so terrified getting this audition.
And I remember being like, if there's a reason why I'm avoiding it because I'm scared,
I should probably make myself do it.
And then again, like, and then, of course, I was like, I can't do this.
And I went to dinner with Lauren.
And she truly, she's like my, the share to my Nicholas Cage.
She's like, snap out of it.
She like, slap me across the face metaphorically and was like, I don't want to hear it from you.
You more than have what it takes.
This is the exact place you should be going.
you are more than deserving. This is what we're going to do. This is how we're going to do it. Can it? Eat your tuna roll and shut up. Like, and I was like, okay, I'm going. I'm going. And I like somehow ponied up. And I had a lot of like support from some really great people, which like in and of itself would have been a like confidence booster. But, you know, I went in there and I worked really hard with my voice coach, Doug. And like I went in there and I did my absolute best. And of course, like, even though it's like the most professional people in their like,
categories on this show. It's like, you've got like Hamilton, Book of More, I'm in Frozen.
Dear Evan Hanson, like, all these people, it was like, they were completely chill,
which again, to me is the mark of a true professional is somebody who's not trying to like
control every ounce of it. They're like, whatever, we don't know. What do you think?
You know, and you're like, oh my God, you've got egos. Did you leave the audition feeling like
you did well? I did. And I, well, here's the thing. I've never left an audition feeling like I did
well, like, that's not a thing. I'm always like, I can't. I just don't think about it. I'm like,
well, it's done. Here we go. Let's move on. You know.
know, like, let's go have a nice ice cream treat. But I, like, I left and I was proud of myself for
having done it. I was like, it wasn't as hard as I thought. Everyone was really cool. And I felt,
I was like, you know what, even if I don't get this job, I'll be devastated. But at least I know
I can do this thing that is like so scary to me. And like that would have been something. Oh,
my God. I know. And I had to stand in front. Because it's different when you're like in the studio and
your voice breaks and you're like, that was embarrassing. But like when you're standing in front
of a table of 12 people, like, next to a piano and trying to act like you can read sheet
music when you can't. Like, it's like, that's terrified. But so you record it all in a studio.
And then when you're doing the scenes, is it like lip syncing? No, you, yeah, it's lip syncing.
Yeah. We recorded the whole album and did all the dance rehearsals for an entire month before we
even started filming. Oh, wow. So in that way, too, it's like we all got really close. We all
became like super, super intimate and like dear friends and like really close because,
you just develop the sense of trust with each other so that then by the time you were ready to go.
I mean, it's kind of like the ultimate parenthood metaphor where it's like you build up the base as well
as you can. And then you just go forth and know that like you have tools in place to like rely on
other people. And also you didn't have to worry about the singing anymore.
That's the, like you were done with the singing. I remember the day I recorded the last song.
Yeah. There's like a video of me just like on my knees like so thankful because,
but I have to say by the end, the first time I went into record, I was terrified. And by the end,
I felt like, I was like, I understand what this is now.
And, you know, it's just thanks to the, like, all the people that I worked with.
So, but it's, it was like, it was really fun.
And I, and I feel like the show, it deals with such deep themes, but in this really, like, cozy 90s rom-com way.
And it's not like cutesy.
Like, it's not like overly choreographed, which, thank God, because I can't dance at all.
Like, I truly was like, please don't ask me to know where to put my foot.
I can't.
I was like, I truly.
told Sonia our incredible choreographer, I was like, I was a cheerleader so I can do a plank
and I can be tossed in the air and that is where it ends. Everything goes out the window after
that. She was like, I will have them toss you. And she did. I was tossed in the air a bunch,
which was great. But, you know, it was she, it wasn't about like, how do we make this song perfect?
How do we make these moves musical? It was like, what if you just express the thoughts in your
head differently? And they were in this way of like. There are a lot of different ways of
expressing thoughts on the show. Because you have the voices in your head, which are actual people.
Yes. And then you have the singing parts. And then you have just the stuff that shows on the
surface. And then you have the stuff. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And it's like, it's a beautiful. It's a beautiful love
story. It's like, but and then these deeper themes of like insecurity and the voices that hold you
back from doing what you want to do, even if you know it's right because you don't have control of the
outcome. Like those are all things that I struggle with and have struggled with my whole life. So to be able to
like, once again, communicate to people like, I don't know how to fix this, but I'm going to show
you that, like, I am going through it and have gone through it and I'm thinking about it.
So don't think, like, you're alone and we all, like, have it together.
We don't.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And, like, your character, Lindsay, starts, like, a new life in New York.
Yeah.
So many people can relate to that.
Totally.
Like, wanting to leave behind the, like, their old lives start over.
Yeah.
Any, and, like, even just the concept of, like, being in a situation in which you feel,
like you're safe, you know, when, which can become just as dangerous.
So you're signed on for season two or not? I'm just asking. Did you sign the paperwork?
I love that song. Because it was so, it was so like the words. I know. And by the way, like,
I don't know, I don't know that you can ever really know someone. And I think the concept,
that's again a false premise. Like, I've discovered it's more about getting comfortable with the
process of not knowing every single thing about someone, but wanting to learn about them and
wanting to learn about yourself and understanding that it might change. It's not about like
getting to the end goal and then being like, okay, I can finally enjoy my life. I'm going to be
85. And like, then I really won't be able to drink wine. Like, no, I'm going to live now and be
like, man, I don't know what's going on. But I know how to express the fact that I don't know
what's going on. And I feel like that's a really important point of this is that you don't have
to get to some landed place where you're like, now I know you, now I feel safe enough
to give you my trust. It's like the ways that people show up in in doing their own work and
then like, and being receptive to you doing yours is what actually creates like intimacy and a place
to like be free to love someone. Do you think? I think. And I also want to know if now that you sing a bunch
yeah. Are you going to like do more music stuff? Yeah. Yeah. It like opened up like a whole new. I want to.
Yes. I mean, Miles Young Goth at Young Goth, that is. He's like an amazing musician and like we constantly are like, should we do, should we do? Should we do? So like, are we going to do stuff? And I want to do like a musical. I love it here. I want to like live in New York. That's so fun. Stop. I know, right? Wouldn't that be chic? I was just thinking because of the show is like, have you ever done like Broadway? No. And I think it would be really fun. Excuse me, Roxy Hart. Hi. Hello. I'm waiting for the call on my rotary phone. May fucking women. Mr. Garf. I could literally like we're on page.
This is the beginning of something treacherous.
I love you.
I love you.
My astrological sister.
This is, you're going to regret the day you open this little box.
I am not kidding.
Everyone, go watch up here on Hulu.
It's so good.
It's super cozy.
And young blood.
And Junkah.
And Halsey.
And she's amazing.
Thank you so much again for coming on my show.
Thank you.
You're the best.
You're the best.
Huge fan.
Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode.
of Not Skinny but Not Fat.
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