Not Skinny But Not Fat - MATT ROGERS: LAS CULTURISTAS, THEME PARKS, AND ARIANA GRANDE

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Multi-hyphenate (actor, singer, podcaster!) Matt Rogers is here! From hosting the ultra-popular podcast, Las Culturistas with SNL cast member and bff Bowen Yang, to acting in Netflix’s new “No Good Deed,” and touring with his Christmas music across the country- Matt can do it all! We have SO MUCH FUN discussing his dating endeavors, crying with Ariana Grande and more!Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hey guys. Welcome to another podcast today. Oh my God. Thank God we got through the Spotify wrapped of it all. First of all,

why does Spotify wrapped, which I used to call it Spotify Warped, which just shows you like something is wrong with me. Thank you for supporting me. And it's a lot. It's a lot to see everyone's Spotify wrapped. It's a lot to try to care about it. It's not,

what did Chloe one say to Chris? Like she's mustering up the energy to like not give a fuck. However, there are some, there are some cool stats and a podcaster, obviously there are cool stats to see who's listening, where you're listening. And again, thank you so much for all your support. I can have done it without you. I mean, we are going into award season, are we? Yeah, Critics Choice Awards just announced. Nobody wants this has dominated for three Critics Choice Awards. I'm so excited for Aaron and Sarah, but also just aside from even loving them, I love the show so much. And if you listen to my podcast with Aaron and Sarah, I was like, this is going to be award nominated. And I remember Aaron was like, really, Amanda? I was like, it will mark my words.

And look, it is. We have Adam Brody back doing freaking magazine covers. We don't even care what magazine cover he's doing. Who knows the stylist? I don't know that magazine, but he's on it. He should be on Vogue, okay? He is literally, you guys know me. I can be like a little anti-culture.

Like I'm not always obsessed with what everyone's obsessed with. I try to find how not to be sometimes. I'm like, everyone's into this. Like, yeah, pick me. I'm going to pick me. But no, there are some things that I'm like, let me run with the motherfucking herd because the herd is right. And Adam Brody's Renaissance is the best thing that happened to us.

I also want to run with the herd on Wicked because, first of all, I think this press tour, we've seen a lot of press tours, you know, in life, but also this past year. And press tours have been just getting more like having more of a person. personality like you can catalog them like what what kind of press tour was that you know and with wicked i mean this is an emotional press tour it's literally cynthia and ariana just crying all over weeping you know i can't get over the image of ariana holding cynthia's long nail and just holding that one finger but obviously yes they're crying everywhere they're very emotional and it is it does make me want to see

wicked even aside from the fact that i've wanted to see wicked and i haven't even seen the play i know don't cancel me and I'm letting all the theater kids see it first and then I'm going to go see it I promise and everyone's crying I probably won't cry if I cry I'll be very surprised but I am very into how emotional Ariana is and how much I'm like happy for her and this actually really leads me into today's guess Matt Rogers Matt Rogers is not only hilarious he's an actor he's an amazing podcaster. He has a podcast, Las Culturistas. He's a singer, and he's in this great new show, No Good Deal, that is on Netflix. So everybody should watch it. It's coming out in a couple of days. It's with Ray Romano and Lisa Kudrow, among many, many, many, many others. And he's

so fun, obsessed, like obsessed with him. You guys are going to enjoy this one. And yeah, we also discuss Ariana. And what he has to say about her could bring one to tears. And he actually did bring her to tears on his own podcast. Anyway, enjoy this one with Matt Rogers. You're talking about your apartment. Yeah. And because he's by coastal. He's by.

He's by. Coastal. Not sexual. But what's your preference on New York or L.A. because you're from Long Island. I am from Long Island. I guess the preference depends on who, like, I'm aspiring to be that day. It's like, do you want to be like the healthy, productive version of yourself?

Then you should be in Los Angeles. This also, however, means you get a little antisocial. Because you're just in your corner. Can't be bothered. And also, it's not that I don't like the people in L.A., never finish a sentence. But it's like, I love my, like, people in New York. I went to college here. I grew up on Long Island, like you said.

And that, like, familiarity and, like, that comfort here allows me to be, like, the fun version of myself. I date a lot more here. I'm like really trying to... Wait, that's important, though. So important. So important, especially to me now. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm looking.

Well, love that we're putting it out there, but also New York is cooler. Way cooler, way easier to get around. Yeah. Not that I don't like driving. You know what I love Carol Raduizel? Radz-Zoil, whatever the fuck. I love her, by the way. Just not good with last name.

I love her, too. She, there was a secret New York. You know, one of those Instagram pages, like Secret New York or over her New York, one of those. So they put up like this thing of like 75 rats in like Port Authority, like outside

and being like, oh yeah, New York is so great or something. And then Carol, the queen commented like, surprisingly she didn't comment about the patriarchy because that's all she comments.

She does like to comment on that. She loves the patriarchy. And there's a lot to say. To be fair. Everything. I would love to hear her take. Such good takes about the patriarchy. Always.

It's everything. Since back. So she commented, are you moving? Because someone were like, oh, yeah, moved to New York. It's so great. And then put those 75 rats. And she was like, are you moving to outside of Port Authority?

Like, where are you going? And then I was like, she's so right. Because Carol lives on like, you know, fucking like Prince Street or something. It's gorgeous. She's like, just move to Prince Street like me. Just buy a loft with a cat and pretend stairs. Problem solved. Your neighbor's Taylor Swift like me.

Your neighbor's Taylor Swift. I mean. Literally. That's like her vibe. So you have a place here, place there. And you literally like bop. I bop. And the bopping is getting exhausting and also, like, not tenable for me,

hopefully finding my, and I want to stress this husband. I love this. I know. I would like it. This is an era. But then actually. Yeah. So today I'm, what I do is like when I get ready and like, like, you know, I'm, I, like,

put my laptop open next to my, like, sink and I, like, let YouTube just go. Okay. YouTube. Yeah. Oh, YouTube freak. Really? Like songs are like interviews. Like the Kelly Clarkson.

show came on today and she was having a conversation with someone and she goes, oh, I'm never getting married again. I learned my lesson. It's a business decision. And then I thought to myself, like, I, if something goes left in a marriage sense, not to like freak you out, but like, I fear the legal process. Uh-huh. Like the divorce of it all, I don't think divorce would look good on me at all. Like you'd get, you'd get bitchy. I'm like, I got dumped once in like a really intense way, and I became a cartoon version of someone who was broken up with. Me as a divorced woman, I don't know. Who was this person that broke your heart?

Was it Henry? No, oh my God. You did the research. No, no, because I got to that post. I know, how cute of me. Wait. I got to the post where you're thanking Henry for doing the show with you. I love him.

But then I was like, wait, because he wrote something about, like, my first heartbreak. So did you, like, have a thing? He was my first heartbreak. Because it was that kind of... So I've had three boyfriends. My first boyfriend, Henry Keperski, who's actually still my musical director and my dear friend to this day,

we actually sort of found what we were supposed to be through having a relationship. But we dated from when I was 25 to like 27, a couple years lived together in New York, like that first relationship that you have and that you test everything out and your limits and everything, which is not the relationship

because you're finding what you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a heartbreak in that you, of course, have hopes for it. And then you just need two different things. And we eventually arrived at, like, what we're supposed to be. But he is lovely and an amazing person. And my second relationship was a year long that was in L.A.

He's also still a best friend of mine. The third one. Gays can do that. It's so fun for you guys to stay friends. Well, I always thought, like, this can happen with every relationship. You just have to figure it out. I didn't understand, or I think I understood, that I never thought, like, I'll be the kind of person

that has, like, a scorched earth, like, can't really have contact situation with someone. Oh, so it depends on, like... So, by the way, if Matt is still friends with you and you're an ex, that means you really didn't love you that much. Because if you... It means I loved you the most. No, it doesn't, you think?

Well, you know what? It's like maybe a different kind of love. I think I found out what it meant to be like in, like, a consuming love at first sight, which ultimately means it's, like, chemistry means, like, good things and bad things. because you're not making the right decision. Right.

I found all that shit out in my last relationship, which, like, really fucked me up. Not because anything was like, you know, it wasn't, like, abusive or crazy or whatever. It was just like, it was a love bomb situation. I got love bomb by a narcissist. Oh, oh, I was going to ask you if you were going to use any of the buzzwords and you did. And I hate using the buzzwords because I feel like they lose power now that they're all over the place. Like toxic narcissists. Love bomber.

Gaslighting. Gaslighting. It's like, it's boring, but it is real. But it is real. And I hope the best for that person, but the truth is, that is what happened. What told you you were just like the most amazing thing all day? I couldn't have felt like the red flags were a plenty, but it didn't matter because I was like, no, it just you wouldn't understand. It makes sense you're not in it.

And then you get, you come full circle and you look back on it and you're like, oh, we were both. cuckoo. Yeah. And yeah, ultimately, you look back on it and you're like, that is not

what either of us needed. And, you know, again, like, it's hard because then people, like, they feel a certain way

when you, like, talk about it in a sense. And I'm like, my thing is like, all the best for him. That was bad for me. But the one thing I got from it

is like, I know how badly I do want that. And do you, did you turn from it to like be, better at picking? I learned to not ignore things.

Okay. That's what I learned. Okay. And dating-wise, because, I mean, you've put it out there. You're looking. You're ready.

I'm out here. Are you... She's out there. Where's that from? She's out there. Is that sex in the city? Mm-hmm. Where...

It was a scene where they went to that affirmations chorus. And I don't know why that's always in my mind because I just carry so dramatic. What's your favorite episode? What is my favorite episode? episode. And why is it bed?

No. What is it? Did that exist? I mean... Did it? Because, like, butter existed. Like, a lot of the things did exist. Oh, you mean the actual bed?

No, that pub with the, with the bed. The fact that it didn't exist after that, the pub. The club. No, I just love when Carrie... We need the pub version of that. That would be a mess. I love when Carrie, like, just puts the hand to chest. Everything is like, no, no, no.

She's out there. Yeah. So you're out there. I'm out there. You're out there. But are you on apps? Like, are you... The apps are happening, like, in a way where...

I don't know. I'd rather not meet on an app, but... Like, I'm on Raya. But only because Tinder took me off. Why? You weren't... I broke community guidelines somehow. I think maybe, okay, it's happened to me a couple times where I get reported

because people think I'm... I'm doing a fake thing. Which I'm like, who the fuck do I? Who do you think I am? Like, wait, you think some gays out there are like, ugh, I wish it was Matt Rogers, but it's a fake account. So I have to report.

Yeah, that's happened to me on Grindr. That's happened to me. I think on Tinder because I'm not breaking community guidelines. I'm not a type of girl who like breaks community guidelines. What are you doing in there? No, I actually follow community guidelines in all sense of my life. So you kicked off faux life? Like it's a black card.

Get this. Yeah. I'm kicked off faux life. Like, I haven't been on in many years. Meanwhile, I liked Tinder. It was one of the ones I liked. And, like, in order to, like, kind of get back on the horse, though,

you have to go through, like, Facebook, which I won't, I won't dare go. I shant. Wait, what do you mean? Sean. I literally shant. I'm loving shant. You love the shant.

It's all day. All day. I love that. I'm like that. I'm like, if someone says something good, let me copy it, take it, abuse it. Yeah.

So, wait, you have to do, like, login through Facebook. So I wish I have no time for. But then, I swear to God, Amanda. I literally, I'm on the plane the other day to come here next to me. The woman turns to me and goes, I just want to say, like, I really like your podcast. I like what you do. I'm like, oh, my God, it's so nice to meet you.

We start a conversation. She's high up at Tinder. Stop. And she goes, we'll get you back on. Problem solved. Yes. Starts. Slacking.

Flacking, whatever business people do. The slack came out. Yeah. I said, oh my God, slack. Yeah, which you don't know what it is. Talk dirty. me. No, like, literally Slack. We're so cute. We're like, can we Slack

one time? Well, you know, I googled you like just before here, like, because I also did my research and I listened to a few episodes of the pod and I love this podcast. Thank you. But I saw you have LinkedIn. That is chic. Oh my God, I do. Delete. Regina, delete. No.

Wait, what's, you know what's so cute about my LinkedIn? I probably added, not skinny enough fat. I probably was like, not same enough founder. Well, yes, that was, of course, I'm there. But can I say, good. Okay. That's a fucking huge business achievement.

You know what's so funny, though. I think I get notification still. Like, LinkedIn is the only place that tells you, I think, like, who's looking at your profile, which is so fucked up. I found that out when my ex goes, hey, I saw you were looking at my LinkedIn. What's up? No, stop. I go, and I made a joke. I was like, well, to be fair, I was just trying to connect with other professionals.

And he was like, no, yeah, it tells you who looks. And I'm like, well, that's really embarrassing because it wasn't the first time I had looked. That's so fucked up of LinkedIn. It's really abusive to me. Someone who would be online stalking. No, my LinkedIn came up. I mean, of course it did. You're a mover and shaker.

I need a moment. I need a moment. Okay, so on apps, back on, wait, did you get the confirmation? Not yet, but I'm excited. Did you take her contact info? Yeah. Well, did I? Oh, you know what happened?

I told her to like DM me and then I didn't check. So hopefully I didn't miss this opportunity. You're like, babe, you're not in the primary box. I'm not going to see it. Sorry. Be honest, Matt. I really want... Be honest.

You're like, can't see it. I have so many messages. Honestly, I'll check the general. Do you have a blue check mark? If not, I'm not going to see it. You know, as someone high up at Tinder, get a blue check mark.

It's not that hard. Yeah, Natasha, but I have a question for you. Uh-huh. Do you date in the industry? You know, it's come up now where it's like, I get a little intimidated by guy... Okay, so there's been a couple times where I've felt like a vibe with someone

that's, you know, a thing. Yeah. And I get a little nervous about it just because especially after the last situation, which that guy wasn't famous for anything, but he had like an issue with the public of it all.

I was like, I don't know if that's something I would want people talking about. Like who you're dating. Yeah. I mean, if you and Jonathan Bailey were a hot couple, you wouldn't want people talking about it. I mean, I would probably throw most rules I have for myself out.

You're like, oh, okay. Like, I can't I can't say the name on air, but, like, I will tell you, you can blur this out. Yeah. Like, I met him, and I was like, huh, he's even cuter in person than he was.

And I've got a crush on him. You know, there was enough of a thing where it was like, like, an arm touch here and there, and then numbers exchange where I was like, what's happening? I was like, wait. Do I want to ruin my life this person?

Yeah. Which is really the question you have to ask. But why? But why does your mind jump to negative, negative thoughts? I think, like, you know, self-esteem is hard. You know what I'm saying? But, like, I think that be more positive about it. 100%, and that is something so easy to say to someone else, and you know it.

Just be positive, babe. You know, I... Well, you know, I'm married for 100 years. My husband literally picked me up a chickadee, a chickadee. A chickadee. No, I was 202 years old. So, like, I have no experience in the real world. So I just, like, can say whatever I want.

Yeah. And I wish I could, like, I didn't have dates. I didn't do any of that. This does make you an incredible wingwoman. Because you have all this pent up energy. No, I'm like, ready to go. I'm like, show me your app. How do you swipe?

You know, just like a hundred and, a hundred and seven years old. But as, I'm not even saying, you don't have dating experience for this, but any situation, if you're going into it, being like, this is going to ruin my life instead of, this could be so cute. No, here's the thing. It's equal parts. I live in a theme park in my mind. And I'm like,

what if we kissed? And I'm just like, I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, what if he's the prince of my heart? You know what I mean? Like, but I've done that so many times and paid the price.

Like, I'm telling you this last guy I met like. I feel like you are wishing for an opposite story then. Are you wishing for like meeting someone not thinking he's that cute? Then maybe it's, turning into something, you finding out his personality is great. Like, is that what you think would be best? What I wish is for me to be in a Kate Hudson

movie. That's what I wish. What I wish is, like, all the things, you know what I mean? I wish for, like, romance. Like, I'm a Pisces, Pisces cancer. Wait, do you know that I'm having dinner tonight with one of my friends who's in the commune? Uh-huh. And I just feel like he would have someone for you.

Yeah. Because he has a thousand. Like, do you run in a gaggle of gays as well. Okay. You guys have gaggles. We have gaggles, but we also are one big gaggles. We all know each other. Yeah. So maybe you're in that gaug. I'm 34. Once you're around along enough.

Yeah. Which that is firmly long enough. It was long enough 10 years ago. Yeah. Like now it's like, it's kind of annoying because... You do know everyone and everyone's connected to someone or they were with someone. Which is also why the L.A. and New York thing, I think, is both annoying and also exist. Because it's, like, it's annoying because you bounce back and forth and, like, you decide, like, oh, I want to hang out with these gays. No, never mind, I want to hang out with these gays. No matter where you go, like, the web has been weaved. The web has been waived. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I get you. It's like, yeah. I got you. It's like, yeah. I got you. I want to one guy. Someone taps on your shoulder. Tap, tap, tap, tap, just so you know what I did. Like, you know what I mean? And I don't like that. Like, I kind of like. You want a fresh slate. I want my person to be like my person.

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Or the Disney's? No. So my thing is, like, I like to go on about a metric ton of mushrooms and, like, fuck around and find out. Stop. And a theme park? I've done half a tab of asset at Disneyland. You could jump out of a fucking roller coaster. Matt, you're taking the risk.

Yeah, but as long as you roll when you hit the ground. Wait, that is like, oh my God, I'm 100. Like, I know, but like, don't you think you could be like, I'm flying for real? I mean, no. That would be a full tab. Okay. I wouldn't go that far, Amanda. Okay, so a thousand mushrooms.

This is like my new publicist, by the way. She's like, what? Like, it's so funny. Okay, we're getting a thumbs up. They know who I am. Every single, almost every single night, this is pathological. Yeah. I have a very sick disease that they don't know what it is.

where every night part of my dream at least part takes place in a theme park or amusement park and they don't know what it is. I've been to... Are you dead-as right now? I'm dead-ass. I've sat down with my therapist and been like, so there is this thing.

Where sometimes I'll go to a theme park in my mind and just wait on the line the whole time. My dreams aren't even fun. I wait on lines and then when I get on the ride, I wake up. Isn't that stupid? No, it's so dumb. I'm like trying to meet guys. something. Like, come on.

Wait, so what do you park is your fame? I mean, I like a Disneyland. I like a Universal Studios. You like when it's more than, because a Six Flags is just like rides. Well, now that, now that like I'm not like six years old, if you go on one of those like cuckoo crazy Six Flags roller coasters, like you'll die. I went on a date to Six Flags Grand Adventure. Was the one that was like this because I used to go on it so much. You remember the 90 degree one?

Like, not Kamikaze. King to Ka! They're taking it down. Why did people die? It's like about to fall apart. No. I just went on it. Like, I have to tell you, I went on a date to Six Flags because the guy told me,

the guy told me, he's like, I love roller coasters. And I go, bingo, I know how to impress this guy. I'm going to take us to Six Flags Fright Fest. We'll go for three hours, come back to the city. We'll go do a couple roller coasters. No, I need to know the whole thing. I got a car. You got a car.

I was like flexing. I was like, I liked this guy. Would you get like a black car to pick you up? I got a black car to pick a car. out from my place in Long Island City to Great Adventure. So stupid. So I don't know what I was on half a tab of acid. No, not that day. But anyway, I go

all the way out to fucking Sixth Place Great Adventure. We do a couple of these roller coasters. We do King de Kha. No, I'm dead. Afterwards, my body shut down. I felt like I had like all my organs were failing. And I was like, and then we get in the car. And he's talking, like having a conversation. And I go to him, I'm so sorry. I have

to go to sleep. No. I was asleep. You shut off. And then he sent me a text two days later. Hey, Matt. So on our first date, I had a lot of fun. And our second date was also great, even if I got a little drunk. But the third date, when you took me to Six Flags, I just wanted you to know that it made

me feel really sad when you fell asleep on the way home. So I'm not interested anymore. Oh, my God. He's like, I think you're a great guy. And I was like, you know, it's disappointing for several reasons. One, I thought he was nice. Two, it's hard to get that text. And three, my body can't handle the coaster's...

Oh, my God. But you know what? When you just said that, I feel like that would happen to me. Yeah, it was. Like, I feel like it's so much on your body. Like that, because it goes up and it goes down. Let the kids do it.

I did King Dukas. So many times in a row, you guys, that I found out where the camera was, so I could start taking a good pick. Yeah, yeah. So you could start serving. He could start being like, like at the top of the thing. Do you die?

I die. You ever go on as nitro is the best because, okay, so this is so. fucking stupid. You go on Nitro, you go in the front row all the way to the left. There's a moment where the camera

like is like right there at the bottom of the first drop. What you have to do is wrap your leg around the thing and like hold it and give that.

You look like you're on the cover of variety, a young Hollywood issue. Why? Because it's like blowing. Zoe Sal Dana. No.

I swear to God. Wait, Nitro is six flags? Nitro's six flags at the bottom of the first drop. Wait, when was this day with this guy? You swing your leg around.

You sort of arch your back and give like, Just give any leave of its could never, could never. Wait, when was this date? How long ago? I guess it was Fright Fest time, so it was September, October when it got a little spooky. No, I can't believe this was like three months. This isn't even an old story. No, it's brand new.

No, here's the thing. I'm out here. And now they're shutting off King of Ka. The guys be finding out who I am. Yeah. And so then they're like, two dates with him is good. I fucked him. That's not true. You did fall asleep.

I feel like the falling asleep, like he wanted to chat the whole way back. He was being really chatty. Okay, so we also smoked a little weed. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, I'm like. No, you're in euphoria. So basically, yeah, I'm in euphoria. That's my euphoria.

Middle, like mid-30s, six flags smoking a little weed and having a breakdown after a roller coaster. That's my euphoria. Like, cool. But anyway, like, For me, that's before. He got really chatty. Like, smoking week, he got really chatty. And I got very, like, in the phone

trying to book the black car on the way home. I'm like, yeah. Just having done King de Kakaa. And then he said, like, three or four times in a row, like, so when do you think it's going to come pick us up? And I literally, at the end of the fourth time he said it, I literally, I was done because Kintakah took it all out of me. I go, I have to tell you something.

You've asked that four times. You said that. I don't care. Wait, I have a question. You're standing in the parking. lot. Like, I need to picture this scenario because if you're standing in the parking lot waiting for this black car, it sounds

like, like, I'm... Does it sound like hell? And him being like, when is it coming? When is it coming? Let me make it even more hell. Yeah. So we weren't standing in the parking lot, and I want to remind you, it's Fright Fest. So I'm standing in, like, the town square of Six Flags, like, trying to book this. And spooky ghouls are coming up like, ugh.

And we're like, just like, please. I'm like, rode hard and put away wet biking to car. This guy won't shut the fuck up. I couldn't be last morning. My dick is inverted. And I'm like, and then spooky ghoul number six is coming up like, and I'm like, you're doing great. Like, I get it.

This is your job. Like, fuck off. I can't. It's midnight and a half. And how long was the drive back? An hour and a half? Oh my God. But I got some shut eye.

I said, I'm out. So you already decided at the, when is the car coming. You're done with him. Because if it was, you wouldn't have fallen asleep. No, no, no, no. You would have fucking put toothpicks in your eyes. Here's the thing. It's like with certain people,

but then also it's like I have to clock like the romantic part of me that does do the thing where it's like I will create who a person is before I really meet them. And I'm like, you met this person twice and I've DM'd and texted now a few times.

Like you don't know them. Like stop doing that because ultimately everyone will disappoint you a little bit. No, this story is so good. Do you worry that this guy who shant to be named will, like, go around and be like,

so I went on a date with Matt Rogers, you know him, and he took me to Six Flags and, like, fell asleep. I would not, now I've learned my lesson about that, and life is about learning. But I actually thought my intentions were so good about the Six Flakey. Okay, it was cute. He might say it in a cute way. Like, he said one

of his interests, and I was like, and I was like, I want to do that with you. That will be fun. And, like, we had had had two good dates, and then so we went on, like, this third thing, and we had already, like, had great sex and everything, like, it was feeling like we could do something like this. But it ended because of that? That seems silly. I think he just, well, can I also say

after that, after that interaction, like, in the town square with the ghoul, I wasn't interested either. You were ick. I was like, I had ick. You also like, order the car then. Yeah, I was like, because he wouldn't shut the fuck up. Yeah. And that's like, Rich coming for me. But like, if I'm saying it, if I'm saying it, if I'm saying, like, there's a problem that someone won't shut the fuck up? Yeah.

Like, you have a pathological disease. Yeah. They don't know what it is. But maybe you're also looking for someone quiet because you're the, like, star. Certainly, I need, like, someone who's not as a killing mission. Like, for example, this is how much cold brew I've had. Yeah. I don't know if you notice I'm a killing machine.

I'm like Scarlett Johansson and Lucy. Have you seen that? Where she uses, like, 99% of her brain and can move shit with her mind. Oh, my God. No, I haven't. She becomes a hard drive at the end. Spoiler. She should go back to acting, don't you think?

I mean, she is. Has she taken a break? I mean, she's, like, very into the skin care. You look like her. I used to get that. You're getting it today? Again and again. Thank you.

I'll take it as a com. You absolutely should. But she, yeah, it's like, I get that celebs are doing brands, and I get it, and I'm happy for them. Yeah. But I feel like it's, like, do what side, like, don't make it your whole thing, you know? You have to imagine, like, the marvel of it all has to take it out of some of them. Like, I think that might be the thing with her is it's like, y'all, I have

been working as the Black Widow for so fucking long. So you think she'd rather fucking sell skincare? I think at a certain moment they all would rather sell skincare. Okay. I mean, listen, acting is hard. I will always say, because I had that one day, or do you know

remember? The one day is an extra. What'd you do? Where did you appear? So, Amy Schumer was on the pod. And she was was doing this movie called Kind of Pregnant. It's coming out, by the way, in February. And she was like, you're pregnant. You should come on for a day.

And I was like, I am a star. I went. I went. Okay. She was so sweet to me and made me feel like I was a star, but I was literally a background extra. But, like, she made me feel like touch up. I'm in the background. Like, I don't need the touch up.

I'm going to be, like, fuzzy. But I thought it would be such a funny story to be like, look at me behind the leave. There's me. Background six. Okay. Spoiler alert. They cut my scene. No.

And I swear. And I literally. And I literally said to her, like, it was the pivotal moment of the mood. Like, how did you get it? But I know now, and I feel like I needed to do this for research since I interview actors and stuff, it took 12 motherfucking hours for whatever the fuck I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a whole day.

It was fucking cold. And it wasn't like because I was, like, Amy was in the same situation, meaning, like, people don't get that even if you are Scarlett Johansson, you're cold outside somewhere. Yeah, I mean. And, you know, it is a, it's a lot of time and energy. Yeah. But the thing is, like, sometimes I get a little self-conscious about it because people out there that are, like, fully nurses and teachers and covered in poop and shit are like.

And you're like, I had to wait in my trailer for three hours. And you're like, I had to read my book so much longer than I would have liked to. Yeah. And you're like, but there is, when you're, like, asked to be, because when you're acting, it's like, you're asked to, like, do your emotions on camera and whatever it's, and be natural at the drop of a hat and also da-da-da. So there is, like, a lot of, like, management going on with your energy,

and they are long days. Long days. It could be, like, 4 a.m. You're shooting a scene. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, like, relatively, like, is it hard? No, but is it hard?

Yeah. Yeah. Especially for the lead of those big movies like that. Like, Scarlett Johansson has been consistently working as an actress, and she was like... Are you going to make me feel bad about the skincare? No, no, no. What I'm saying is, like...

Yeah. The skin care, who knows? That's probably a lot of hard work, too. And she's a mom, you know, she's out there. But she, like, was, she doesn't just do those movies. She does, like, all these other fucking movies. Like, at a certain point, you got to just get, like, tired. Yeah, it is tiring because it's, like, project after project.

And for actresses, too, like, you have to, like, it's, the bar is so high in terms of being beautiful and gorgeous, especially when I would imagine for her, like, you're, like, the epitome of what it means to be a movie star beautiful glamist on. I look like her. Thank you. I'm going to ride this a little day. You do look like her. Let's talk about your new thing. Your new show. No good deed. Okay, Realtor. This is going to be good. Okay. Well, I saw a little think peek. It is star motherfucking studded. It actually is.

How did that feel to be part of that? Fucking good. Yeah. Honestly, like, I got the audition for it. And it's one of those additions that you see and you're like, oh, God. Like, this is going to make me sad when I don't get it. You know what I mean? Again, you're positive, positive penny over here.

Yeah. Well, well, because this is. Because, again, it's like half, right? It's like, I get the audition and immediately I, like, seeing myself winning the Emmy for it. I'm like, well, that's it. That's going to change my career. Yeah.

And I'm going to be best friends with everyone on set. And it's going to be amazing experience. And I'm going to do the next project they all do. They're going to ask me to be involved in everything going forward. And then you also, at the same token, are like, well, the thing is, I'm a bad actor and I'll never book this. I don't even know why I have an agent. Like, I'll get on set and I embarrass myself.

I'll forget my lines. I'll forget me, et cetera. So, like, I have both. It's probably healthy in some way to have a little bit of both. Yeah. It's the devil and the angel. You know what I mean? It's that.

But with this particular thing, I had worked with... So the casting director had put me in a show called I Love That for You with Vanessa Bayer and Molly Shannon. It was on Showtime. Really fun show. That only lasted one season, which was a bummer, but I had this good relationship. And so she was casting this show. And I saw on the audition that Liz Feldman, who created Dead to Me, that show ever.

was going to be in the audition. And I was like, oh, that's a really good sign that she would take her time. Maybe they are actually wanting me to do it. It's not just random. Maybe it was written for me. It wasn't just like a random thing. Yeah.

So the audition I did on Zoom in my bathroom in Long Island City because it was 5.30 p.m. in the winter. And I was like, oh, my God, I have no good lighting. And so then I was like... Wait, you don't have a fucking ring? Not in New York. Only in L.A. Bicostal problems.

So I need two. two ring lights. I should have come in here. But like... So you go in your bathroom. But then I guess I was like, well, I guess you have to make it a joke, right? So I'm in my bathroom,

bad bathroom tile everywhere. And I start being like, I'm in my bathroom. Like, sorry. And then we do the scene and it's like a bathroom acoustics on Zoom. And afterward... Probably like bad reception

because it's like in a bathroom. And then they go, well, now we'll do an improvised thing. And I was like, okay, so improvising on Zoom in my bathroom and also I had to I had, there was an action I think I can't do it because it's a spoiler

it's a really fun episode of the show but I had to do a certain action again and again and again so like miming. Yeah. It's just like you really have to suspend your disbelief to like stand by yourself in the bathroom and doing like a scene but I did book. Did you record it?

They haven't recorded. I don't have it. Oh my God. I would die. Yeah, they should release the release the footage. Wait, by the way, wouldn't it be funny? Because there are a lot of actor's stories now of getting roles

after having these, like, funny Zoom auditions. Yeah, because they're all on Zoom. Right, right. But, like, funny, like, yours, like, in the bathroom or whatever. And I'm like, imagine actors think that that's, like, the way you can get it. So they start putting themselves in, like, weird. They're like, oh, God, I'm in my tub.

I'm nude. It's like, sorry, guys. The only time I could do was when I had to take a bath. It's like... I think people can smell it. But wouldn't that be so funny, though, because imagine, like, sitting at your desk like a little loser with the ringlight. You're not getting it.

You're not getting it that way. You know what I mean? If you're set up at your desk with a ringlight and, like, perfect background, oh my God. No, that's the thing is it's like, I have tried, I have put myself together for things. You've, like, rent a studio to do it. And then the one thing where I'm, like, like, a hapless of victim of my circumstance. Like, hi, I'm in the bathroom.

It sucks. I book. And so, like, don't you feel, like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like this character of this, like, realtor was made for you because you're a super, like, punny. I, you know what's funny? Did you make up the puns for the zoo? I actually, you know, what's funny? Like, they, I think one of the reasons why I got the part is because Liz, who's the creator, just so happens to be one of those people who, like, really likes when people can improvise.

Because she comes from the real straight-up comedy world. She's, like, a real comedian. And I came up through, like, UCB and do. doing, like, you know, comedy and basements in New York City all throughout my 20s, like, truly waiting tables, like, having, like, $1,000 in my bank account so I could, like, pay my $800 rent and, like, maybe some money left over to save up for a UCB class until I was, like, 28, 29. So I have that experience of being able to do improv on set.

Yeah. And so a lot of the stuff they kept in the show was my improv, and she was very encouraging of it. Wait, so were some of the puns yours? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them were. I can't even think of any right now. But there were so many where I was like, oh, my God, I'm dying. Oh, my God, I'm dying.

Oh, my God, I'm dying. And you know what? I don't even consider myself like a punny person, but there were opportunities where I was like, well, there's one. You know? And they rolled with him and they're in the show. Yeah, no, it's fun. I mean, this star set of cast is crazy. You, Ray Romano, Lisa Cudrow.

Linda Cardalini. Give me a break. Lover. With Shane from the L word. Uh-huh. Yes. Okay, Shane. Yes.

And also Luke Wilson is in the show. I know. It's like. Looking fucking good, which is a little. annoying. Okay, age well. Even better at the table reads in person. I have to tell you. No, movie star. Movie star. You forget. You forget. I don't.

Like, sitting there and such a nice guy. Another one aging well. Oh, yeah. And also, nice. Like, turns to me, hey, that was really funny, man. That was really fun. I was just like, you know, it's Luke Wilson. It's like the super smash brothers of television. Bowen Yang said that. I was like, that's such a funny way to put it because it's so many

random TV shows. And they all came together. Yeah. But it, like, fits. Like, Ray Ramon and Lisa Kudrow is this couple is just perfect. They're such a good match, right? Like, and it's weird that they didn't ever even met before this, which I thought was so funny because they're both, like, 90s sitcom icons. But they're so perfect together.

And, yeah, so the show is, like, they play a couple that's, like, selling their really beautiful home in Los Felis to all these different couples. Oh, and Abby Jacobson, too. Abby Jacobson. Yeah, she's so fun. Tiana Paris from Wanda Vision. who I loved Wanda Vision so that was so fun

but all the couples want to buy the house and no one knows the reason it's being sold is because something like very fucked up and dark happened there and I'm the realtor

who's like dealing with everyone who gets into it no it's so good you guys it's on Netflix when does it come out December 12th December 12 and when you got it

how did you feel I was ecstatic I was on toll I actually was in Chicago because I was doing my Christmas tour last year and I was in the

middle of tech, and I was like running my stuff, and I got the call. And it was, I just knew the fun role that I really wanted that it had gone the one way. And I was like, fuck yes, because you know, I auditioned for so many things and don't get them. Yeah. Like, and so just to know that there was going to be something that was like, not only just like work, but also a fun role that I was going to get to like actually have fun with that they couldn't cut. Because I knew it was an important part. Do you have that thought, though? Yeah, because people don't get it. Like, fucking shit gets cut after you were, like, in it. You were, that's, it's a wild industry. Like, I'm in, I'm in another movie that's coming out in Netflix next year with Seth Rogen, Kiki Palmer, Kianna Roo Reeves, and I say, I'm sorry.

And they can absolutely cut my part. And I'm really hoping they don't, but they can. They can. So, I'll, like, go to the premiere and, like, eight, eight-foot gown, like, serving, like, giving, like, It's Valentino It's full of Heditos Capparelli And then I'll sit down in the seat Like And it's not there My train and they'll cut the whole part

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for my code not skinny a checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. That's from our place.com. The code is not skinny. Our place also offers a 100-day trial with free shipping and returns. And we're back. Wait, so do you, the acting thing, do you keep it as kind of like a side gig? Because I will do, I will work if they offer it. Yeah.

Like I, like I said, like all throughout my 20s, like never thinking. I had a future in any of it. Like, but so being like, okay, like, I'm going to try to be good at everything so that when something comes up, I'll be ready. Well, you are a triple threat. Podcaster, singer. I felt the, the album was a mistake.

The album was a joke. I literally in 2017 was watching an interview with Mariah Carey, who I love. Yeah. And she was like, that was really when she started the Queen of Christmas thing. Like, it became like a,

it literally like re-industrified. that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, at a certain point, and the interviewer was like, that's a lot of money every year. And I just thought that was so funny that she just fully said that flat out.

Like, it's about money. Yeah. Because the Christmas album thing, like, these pop stars don't all fucking die for Christmas. They want to make more money. Wait, do you die for Christmas? I mean, enough. Yeah.

But that was the point. Oh, that's the joke. Yes, I was like, oh. And I'm like, 27 years old. I think I had just gotten my manager. It was like early days in my, like, career. And I was like, I'm going to put up a one-man show, and it's going to be my Christmas album. And my whole bit is that I'm the Prince of Christmas, and now I'm a Christmas industry.

And my album is called Have You Heard of Christmas? And the joke was, it was not real. Yes. And then, like, it became enough of a thing over time, kind of like everything I've done. Like, the podcast was a joke. That's why it's called Lost Cultureistas, because it wasn't supposed to be a thing. and then over time it, like, became a thing. So to the point where, like... Okay, just stumble upon this, like, awesome life that you have, Matt Rogers. No problem. I mean, I guess, like, that is, like, the kind of lesson is it's like,

if you go at things with, like, fun and good intentions, like, they might just surprise you. Yeah. Because years later, I did actually release the album, and I do have a special. And now I am touring it, and it's called The Prince of Christmas Tour, and people come every year, and they know the words to my songs. So this is all you singing. Yeah.

Like, that's the whole show. Well, that's another thing is, turns out I actually was kind of good. Turns out, you didn't know before. No, I didn't start out. Like, I'm telling you, everything is pretend. Like, it was all like me in college being like, I wonder if I could, you know, do that. Because. But did you do musical theater ever?

No, never. No. No. When I was in college, I was in one musical show, but it was like a fluke. It was like, you know, I did it because it was more sketch comedy based. and there was singing involved. And then I remember I was at my first music rehearsal. I had never done that before.

And the way that the musical director got us all to relax was she sang something on the piano. She was like, we're going to go around the room and everyone's going to sing that. And it was like this big kind of belty vocal moment. And I was surrounded by these people who could really sing. And so what I said in my head was I was like, well, I'll just like pretend I'm them.

I'll just like copy them and so I copied them and then everyone turned to me and was like that was great and I was like oh I was just doing what you guys were doing and then they were like okay great so we'll give you this vocal part and I was like oh they think I can do this

oh my god and then from them thinking it I was like can I do this and then I started to like I took a vocal lesson and that guy was like you can do this and then it became a thing where I incorporated it more into my comedy to the point where I actually like

became a singer by the end of my 20s. Would you sing not as a joke? Now I kind of do. Yeah. But like this Christmas album when you wrote it was kind of jokesy. Absolutely. If you listen to it, I have a song called Loub for the Slay, which is like, about how Santa

has to lube up the presents to fit in the bag because there's so many to give to all the kids. And why does he have so much lube at the house? Like that's like one of my stuff. That was like what I wrote as like, well, we're doing this, But, like, it's a joke. Yeah. And then later on, it was like, now I actually write music that I actually, you know, are born

from my experiences. It's been really nice because, like... So are you going to come out with, like, a non-Christmas album? Maybe one day. Maybe one day. I mean, I love it. I actually love it more than I love the other stuff. I love acting.

I really... I used to do a lot more stand-up now. I've kind of transitioned out of that. I love the podcast. I love all this stuff. There's nothing. that gets me more excited than performing my music, yeah. It is crazy because singing, like, whenever I hear a good singer sing with the motion,

I'm like, that's really a talent you'd want to have. You could get so much out of yourself and, like, it's probably so cathartic. Well, this is why I like it. I saw this Broadway play last night called The Hills of California. It's great. And one of the characters goes, you know what a song is? A song is a place for you to live. And I was like, wow.

And she's like, where do you want to live? and she played a song and it's like that's true like for three and a half minutes or however long you just like live in that emotion and in that soundscape and for me I think like being a little kid who like needed my little escapes because I was in my head like with the secret of me being gay or whatever

or not super comfortable with my surroundings and having that thing of like being a really imaginative kid the type of person who dreams in theme park land I really appreciate that sentiment of for just a second, you can be somebody else or provide that experience for everyone

because live music is my number one favorite thing. I think because it's like an excuse to live in 15 or 16 different worlds or one collective different world based on what the artist is presenting. And I think that's really beautiful. I think that's really creative and fun and beautiful. You're a triple threat, Matt.

I can't deal with you. I get shy. Well, a new triple threat. Singer, actor, podcaster. We love it. Wait, so tell me how that happened by mistake. As a joke, your whole... Well, literally, like, Bowen goes,

so they want me to do a podcast, like, do you want to do it with me? I was like, for sure. And then it was, we were 26. It was March 2016, and Bowen was like, what should it be? And he started coming up with this concept for, like, a choose your own adventure podcast

where you'd listen to one episode and, like, choose at the end. kind of episode should be the second one, and then we record two. And I was like, this is such a typical Bowen-Yang idea, and that it's, like, brilliant, but would require, like, a lot. Yeah. And I was like, what if we just talked about pop culture? Yeah.

And he was like, that could work. And he was like, what would we call it? And I was like, I literally, I just turned to him and I was like, Las Culturistas. Stop. And he was like, that's so stupid. Let's do that. Oh, my God. And I don't think so honey is our segment.

And it was just a bit that we would do. That was from the beginning. Which you still do when you take a minute, right? And I guess it has to say. It was like a 60-second rant about something in pop culture that you hate. But it literally was like, Bowen and I would just tease each other. Whenever I thought he was being stupid or I was being stupid, we would just go, I don't think so, honey. No sweetie.

Like, we would just like go after each other in a stupid way. I was like, and the segment should be called, I don't think so honey. And it's just like your rant about something in a pop-cote. And today you have fucking like Mariah Carey doing I don't think so honey. It's wild. It's so dumb. Well, you had iconic moments, like, you crying with Ariana Grande. I can't help being who I am.

It's so bad. I have a very sick disease. No one knows where it is. Like, I shant do the things I do. No, why? But it was so, like, but did you plan? Like, I'm going to tell her. No, I certainly, can I tell you something?

I especially wouldn't have planned to cry had I known that everyone was going to be, like, talking about them crying during the whole press store and so annoyed by it. I have to tell you, I was. was on, like, YouTube, like, I guess I am. Okay, Alpha, Gen Alpha. Like, who's on YouTube? People are on there? But, like, literally, like, I don't know how this happened,

but this, like, right-wing podcast popped up, like a YouTube podcast where the girl was like, we need to talk about the emotional dysregulation of Cynthia Arriva and Ariana Grande. Why are they crying in every single podcast? It's disgusting. These women are sick. And then they're going through all the podcasts

and, like, showing them crying and being like, They're mentally ill. Like, it's wicked. It's witches. And then they start to show the clip of our podcast. And I turned it off. I'm like, I can't handle it. I can't handle the meanest girl in America talking about me this way.

Okay, but, okay, in your defense of the Republican girl thinking everyone's disease, which is like, you are. You have the theme part because he's no one that's about. But, okay, so, I mean, the whole press store is funny when they get emotional over everything. I think it's hilarious. But yours was like a genuine, moment of you being like, you're amazing in this, this was meant for you, I'm so

happy for you. Well, she's been through so much. Like, people forget there was a full-on terrorist attack at her concert where, like, her teen fans died. Yeah. Mac Miller, like, passed away of an overdose. Like, she's been through very public stuff, like,

with, like, you know, Pete Davidson and all this stuff. And, like, you know, she's just also been famous from a time that was very young. Like, I don't know if you watched that Nickelodeon documentary, but she was in it as a young girl and, like, you see the things they made her do. Like, this girl's, like, been through a lot.

And I think people are very hard on her. And I think, of course, when you're in the public eye, like, you become a subjective topic for people to discuss and people should be able to have discourse about whatever. Like, I can take issue with how people have it. But, like, it's fair game. But when I saw the movie and I met her. Was that your first time meeting her?

Yeah. We had, like, DM'd because Bowen and her became, like, very close friends and Wicked. Okay. Yeah. And Bowen was going through a lot. Like, he was really having, like, a mental health moment. Oh, is that when he took the pod break? He took a break from the podcast just because he was literally flying from London to New York to do S&L and Wicked and did not have a break.

It was just really a lot. And she was very there for him. And when I saw the movie, I felt like I saw her, like, have this moment that, like, made a lot. of sense. And I was like, that's who she's supposed to be. Like, she should be playing Glinda and Wicked. Yeah. And the movie's so good. I can't wait to see it. Oh, you're going to love it. And Bowen's so great in it. And then I was sitting there with him and she means so much to him. And so I was like, I could see her getting emotional talking about the experience. And I finally was just like, I think what got me over the edge is I was like,

it's really lovely to see someone do what they were born to do. And that type of thing. does make me emotional. Right. And so I couldn't help it, went to Crytown, and then suddenly there it is on camera, and they used it to promote the episode, which I was like, okay, I don't know if we need this. What do you mean they use it?

Ariana collab post accepted it. It wasn't only used to promote the episode. It was like... Well, because it was a good moment. I was like, yeah, fully use it to promote the episode. That's a good moment. I would watch it if I saw, you know, that it was going to be like an emotionally rich and fun episode.

or, like, everything else we're seeing, too, like the Define Gravity Moment. Yeah. What I find so interesting about the Define Gravity moment, which is hilarious, is that at first, I thought I would, they cut out, you know when, like, promos cut out something?

Yeah. So I thought, like, they cut out the part where she tells her what they're holding space for. No. But it's the full thing. But this is the thing is it's like, that's how actresses are. Uh-huh.

You know what I mean? Like, actresses, they do want to be, like, we're communicating without communicating. I know. No, I know. Let me hold your pinky. I know, I know. And we are having an experience right now that is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's so funny. Yeah, it's so funny. I get that it's pervasive and it's everywhere. But people are loving it. Like, this is a moment aside from the hate of Republican, but like, I love moments like this in pop culture that are so niche and so ridiculous. Yeah. And so like, no, you're not missing anything.

That was it. Do you know what the funniest press moment ever for me is is when Lady Gaga, during Star is born, couldn't stop saying there could be a hundred people in a row. Oh, yes. But one. One. Believes you.

And that was Bradley Cooper for me. I know. She couldn't stop saying it. And it was like she, it was almost like performance art. Yeah. And I think that was so funny. Well, the whole thing was,

we believe they were in love and fucking getting married. Which they were like playing into for sure. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Like we, that's why after that I was like, I'm not going down this road again of fucking falling for this. They won't do this to us again. They won't look at each other playing the piano and we're going to be like, oh, they're in love.

That was a brilliant performance of old Hollywood Star is Born type. And we fell for it. And that was part of selling it. You know what I mean? It was brilliant. And with this, I think, thank God they found a way to like serrate and make this press tour memorable. Yeah. Because we will never forget how much they cried.

Like the image of Ariana, like, waving her hand around her face so she doesn't cry. It's iconic. I love it. And I do adore her. I know. We know. We saw you cry. Okay.

A few pop culture questions before you go and we didn't get to any of this. Wait, literally, that makes me so sad because can I tell you, I could sit here for six hours. You're like, I can't. I have kids. No, we're not done, Regina. Okay, five minutes. Shut up. Fucking bitch, right?

You're a fucking bitch. Okay. Okay. I have a few questions because you're... I believe it's only five minutes. I know. Part two? I just had to... No, literally I would. Next time you come? Yeah. Okay. Do you believe Pereseldon doesn't get Botox?

What she said on that interview while her face doesn't move? No. Okay. But what? People straight up lie, Matt? I think that people... It's not that they lie. They don't tell the truth. Okay, this is what people are thinking, which is so funny and tell me this is your thought. People are like, okay, she doesn't get Botox to Millian, whatever it's called, the full name. She gets dice for it.

and she's just saying she doesn't get Botox sets of technicality. I think it is a technicality. I think that Paris Hilton probably gets something better than we could ever even understand. Right. Like gold, something. Yeah, like, she's not going to Botox like the rest of us. She's literally like, no, I'm just living. And I'm like, no.

I finally, I just got it for the first time this year. I said to my dermatologist, I was like, listen. I'm 34, I'm on camera. What do I need to do? Yeah. It goes to me, okay. He goes, we're doing like 15 here. Yeah.

Here. I have to get it again. Never anything up here. Kind of expired. Sorry. Never. I know. Period.

Whoa. What is that upside down you? Yeah. Well, you need it to be an actor. Here, he said we can get it. He's like, forehead, never. He's like, for you, your brows are too thick and flat. Oh my God.

They would be like. They would be like this. They would be like Bert. Hey, I'm an actress. No. It's so true. By the way, when I've gotten it, what I've noticed about myself that's different,

is it, because my eyebrows can be like uneven when I talk, but it does it really makes you symmetrical, where it's, like, kind of weird that you're that symmetrical. I think it would not look good on me. So he was like, never this. So I got 15 here, I think.

And he said, he also... No, he loves numbers. Well, then he goes to me, I was like, what about my eyes? Because my eyes is what I'm, like, kind of self-conscious about. And he goes, not Botox, but you're a candidate for a lower blepho.

Is that what it's called? And I go, what? And he goes, a blephrodoplasty. No. And I go, what is that? Yeah, what is that? When they fill this? It's like, it's essentially like a lower eye lift.

And he goes, people your age recover from it very quickly. And I'm like, okay. So now I'm like literally have lower blepho and two things, on my mind. Yeah. And in my vocabulary. Please don't do a lower blefo. Well, like, I don't know. know, like, he's like, you're a good

candidate. If the doctor said, I mean, and here's the thing. Yeah. Like, this doctor in particular has been right, like, twice because I loved when I got the Botox here. And also a few years ago... Oh my God, you're still doing the lower bluffo. I might. But if I do it, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be like Paraseltman and say, I never got Botox. Like, no way. Here's my lower blepho. I'm honest about my rhino. Oh, you did a rhino?

But I had to because I had to get a cyst removed. Again, looking for a husband. No, I'm just kidding. He had a cyst. He'll fall asleep after the theme park. He drinks too much cold brew, gets over-caffeinated, and freaks the fuck out. I mean, he didn't finish it yet. But, okay, do you believe Luann hooked up with Hugh Grant?

Hugh Grant is saying he doesn't remember it. I think Hugh Grant probably drinks too much. You think, like, if the first part happened, the second part probably happened. Right? Yeah. No, yeah. Well, he's self-proclaimed drinks. Yeah, no, he is like, I think he said

he was like, yes, I remember a housewife. Yeah. And I remember being drunk. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, they probably fully hooked up. Yeah. Lou Ann, you've had her on. You know how, you know the vibe.

We almost hooked up. We almost hooked up. She was this close to me. Yeah. Wait, did you see Luanne serenating me fever? Because it was the best moment of my life. I, if not, I'll show it to you after. You know, I've seen her tabri twice.

It was funny because at the end, I was like, Lou Ann, I was like, I was like, Louan, oh my God. I want to come to your show, like, trying to get tickets for free. And then she's like, yes, honey, come to Australia. I'm like, can I come to the beacon? Like, can I come in New York? By the way, is she doing the beacon? She says she is, but then her assistant was like, she's not really, like, it was funny

because she was like, the beacon on this and that day and they come to her assistant, I'm like, can you get me tickets? And then he was like, I don't know how he thinks. They're like, Luann, you're performing the bacon. It's a new theater underground. She's doing the bacon theater. Okay, what? It's Kira Cedric and Kevin Bacon's New Theater of the Rope.

What, first of all, cute as Instagrams? What's your pop culture hot take where, like, no one agrees with you, but you're like, this is my dying pill. Which I'll be fine if you can't think of one. I hate when people ask me to think of things on the spot. My pop culture hot take that no one will agree with me. Yeah. Okay. Honestly, this is a hot take.

Everyone wants, everyone's dying for Beyonce to win the album of the year because she's never won it for the Grammys. it's not this year. It's also not this year. I have to say it should have happened three times. Yeah. Like, I think Renaissance should be a winner. Lemonade should be a winner.

Beyonce self-titled should be a winner. She should have three. Cowboy Carter was not the album of the year. Brat was the album of the year. Or Chapel Rhone. For sure. Like, it's, I don't think it should happen this year. And I feel like when it doesn't happen in February,

it's going to be this whole uproar. But it's like, if she cared more about it, she would have done more about it. I think the album of the year it should have been her so many times and it will come in the future but I don't think people should be surprised or make it into something that's not this year.

I think that's not that hot of a take map because people were hating on their cowboy shit. I loved it. I think quality-wise, I think it's like top tier. I think it's great beyond the album. I just think it's a really crazy year. And I think if you're not saying brat is the album of the year, you're not taking

into account that it impacted fashion, politics, Like, all of musical culture. Like, now she's doing movies. She hosted SNL. That was wild. It leveled Charlie up all the way, and I think she deserves. I think she deserves.

Okay. Now, just a couple more. Okay. Not pop culture, just general, because I have to know. There was a picture of David Beckham yesterday. He always posts thirst drops. He's like, Victoria took it. He's so hot.

I know. Shaved pits completely lasered. I don't like that. I know. I was saying that. I was like, you guys, that's a... I'm a pit guy. Oh, like, you like it when it's...

Not when it's smelly, but I like, I like... No, who likes it when it's smelly? Well, a lot of gay guys. No. Baby, come into the community for one afternoon. Wait, they like it when it smells like, what? Like armpit. Yeah.

You forget that we are a community that, like, eats ass on the regular. You forget. I don't forget. It feels like you forget. Wait, it feels like you forget. Wait. But we shaned. But we shan't.

We shan forget. So you like armpit here, which isn't a given. Like, it could have gone both ways for you. I, like a shaved pit just isn't it for me. No, I just don't see. First of all, when we're all in like middle school, like little gay boys in middle school, like when we discover our body hair, we're immediately ashamed of it, right? So we all go through that thing of like, I'm shaving it.

There was a time I nared my legs in high school. Oh, babe, I neared it all. And the thing about- First of all, nairs work. Miracle. You know, why did I get, it's probably like going to kill you, but like, is that why? Miracle drug. I can't nair that shit.

But like, it growing back is awful. Guys, no. David. David. Not that he's like not able to figure out for himself. He's lasering. Well, yeah, he's like Paracelton, right? He's not like us girls.

Okay, so what's your biggest ick? But I want a tangible ick. Not a like, shaves his armpits. I want to like, I don't know, yesterday I was thinking. I was looking at my end table. Mm-hmm. It's like, oh. Your end table gave you the ick.

I thought you were talking about, like, men. So that's what I'm saying, no. I was thinking of my end table. I was like, end tables are so gross. I mean, honestly. Like, have you seen an end table being like, I love that end table? No. It's a dumb thing.

And also, it's like one of those things that you forget you have to get. Yeah. It's like, I guess I have to get an end table. And then you get one that's ugly because, like, there aren't actual Q ones. Oh, I'll never forget the humiliation I felt when I ordered my end table from West Dumb. Yeah. And then I realized I had to put it together. You had to put it together?

No, at least come as like a blob. Oh, no. You know what I mean? At least be like a marble. Not Westumb. I think that's the one thing for my apartment that is IKEA. And I was like, like crying, sobbing, having a breakdown, giving like a Naomi Watts performance, like putting the end table together.

Just like, oh, my God, just like lower than low. Lower than low. But my ick, I guess when you go to someone's house and their bathroom, when their toilet is a mess. Yeah. Or there's like hair all. over the sink. Oh, my God.

I'm like, get me out. I'd rather set up an end table. Yes. I'd rather spend six hours sending, like putting together an end table, giving Naomi Watts performance. Yeah. Then be in your bathroom for 45 seconds

and see the little hairs and like the little pieces of yellow and brown stains. Yellow. Give me. Clean your bowl. And I hate. Yeah. Hate.

I'm sorry. I know it's better for the water. when I go into a bathroom and there's pee in the toilet. Wait. Oh, like if it's yellow, let it mellow? I don't believe in that. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in flush your piss. That's what I believe in. And I once dated someone who never courtesy flushed.

What do you mean? I ended up writing a song about it. It's in, is it in, oh, okay. It's a privacy song. It's a private song. It's a private song. It goes like this. I'm a little nasal. Hold on.

You got a courtesy flush if you want to be my husband. Take a good look Before you leave the toilet Because if you want to be with me, baby And someday adopt a kid You need to courtesy flush all your pee and shit You need to flush two times Wait, is there a thing at the end like

Now there is Matt, I love you. Thank you for coming on. I love you deeply. We didn't get to any of this. Wait, but we didn't get to any of it. Oh, are you going to end the podcast with Courtesy Flash? Yes.

Now, we're going to end the podcast with Come to Your Fucking Show. Yes. Prince of Christmas. I'm doing it all over. www. www. You're going to be New York of the 13th.

You should come. I know. I should come. I'm coming. Friday the 13th. Roger. That's what Luanz's assistant was called when we offer me Australia. And the show on Netflix.

I would never ask. Dude, to go to Australia. I want you to go right down the street. Webster Hall. You guys, no good deed. It's out December 13. 12, yes. So that's going to be a huge couple days for me.

Okay, let me do it again. I don't get something wrong. No good deal. You go. I'm the worst. I'm so bad at contesting. You're so bad. No, but the fans won't tell me how bad I am.

They're like, he cuts me my laugh. I'm like, shut up. I never asked for this. They want you to not exist. They want you to be like a robot. They want you to be Diane Sawyer listening like this with your glasses on your nose like, And now that I've given you a minute of space after you answer, say more.

I'm like, oh, God, so boring. You guys, no good deed. It's out on Netflix, December 12th. It's so good. You're phenomenal on that. Everybody's going to watch. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny, but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review.

If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual. Smoo-Roo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday.