Not Skinny But Not Fat - NIKKI GLASER: MORE THAN JUST A ROAST MASTER

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

You know her, you love her, some of you have just become aware of her because you watched the Tom Brady Netflix Roast. Either way; Nikki has been doing this for a while- roasts & making people laugh. While she admits this was a “pop” for her, her true fans would say “SHE’S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME.” With multiple specials across various streamers and the comfort of years of steady selling stand up shows- Nikki was happy with her level of success. We discuss this “pop,” living in St Louis, her on/off boyfriend of 10 years, thoughts of polyamory, is Tom Brady really that hot? What was up with Ben Affleck? her love for Taylor Swift and more!!!Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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that has everything you need. Welcome back to the not skinny but not fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room.

This guest has been really nowhere, nowhere recently. She hasn't blown up at all. She hasn't been, you know, the talk of the town. She hasn't been gaining the really well-deserved recognition. She deserves. I'm kidding. She has. She has Nikki Glazers on the pod today.

What a fucking sweet lady. I was prepared for her to roast me the entire time. I don't know why. That's what I thought. I was like, she's going to, like, say all these things. I was like prepared. I wanted to take down my knee and sign and my like maternity photo behind me. I was like drinking out of a huge, you know, water bottle, you know, those like annoying huge ones that look like gasoline tanks. And I was like, she's going to roast me. She's the opposite

of that. What a girl's girl. What a cool girl. So I'm excited for you to listen. Enjoy Nick Laser. Thank you so much for having me. You're so awesome. Oh my God. Thank you for coming on, you podcast how you look gorgeous shut up you really do look at that like i gotta fucking learn how to do my makeup oh my god i don't have makeup on you don't have makeup you don't shut no but i do i do i do i do have something i have the like the little zoom filter like halfway do you oh no i like i hate filters i will i refuse to filter myself unless it's like really desperate and there's there's just like today i had to send a filtered picture because they screenshoted me for some podcast. And I just looked like vascular. Like I look like Jesse Ventura yelling about something. And so they were like choose a screenshot. And then I couldn't find one where I looked good. It was just bad lighting. And like I just was like my neck was just doing too much. And so I just sent them one and go and throw a filter on it. But that's the first time I've requested that. I really don't. I just want to know the truth. Okay. I just want to know the truth. Okay. I agree. I agree. Like I don't do you use the Paris filter on Instagram like when you. I refuse. Okay. I refuse to do it. Yeah. I won't do it.

Because it's so subtle and makes me look so much better. And it makes me feel like, I don't want to look in the mirror and expect to see that because I'll always be sad if I look in the mirror. And also it's like, I remember when I use it at the beginning, I don't anymore at all because I'd feel bad. I'd get so many messages being like, your skin is so amazing. And I'm like, I. Come on, guys. And even today, it's like obvious to me today, like who uses it and who doesn't. And then I'll see people being like, oh my God, they're skin.

And I'm like, do you not know how to swipe left? when you... I remember there was this girl that I had not met and only knew from Instagram. She's so perfect, tiny little waist

that looks like it had been adjusted and it's just such a filtered face because I know what a filter looks like and I go, oh, I bet she's pretty beat up in person because she uses such a heavy filter.

Like, she's got a great body and a great figure and statues and pretty features, but I bet she's like a little bit more busted because she almost looks animated, you know, when I see her in pictures. And then I met her in person. I'm like, she's even prettier.

like, what are you doing this for? Like, you're the prettiest person. You could have no filter. And that's just, I think, you know, the sad irony of the situation is the most insecure people are usually like the people who don't need to be. Yeah. No, I agree with you on filters. I will say I think the Zoom filter is like a different kind of animal.

It's just like, because Zoom, first of all, you look amazing. But like, if I go on Google me right now and it doesn't have that, I'm going to, to feel really like, I don't know. You know, there's no lighting here. Anyway, you guys, Nikki Glazer is here. You probably haven't heard of her and it all recently. She's been really underground.

I was until like two weeks ago. Yeah, nine days ago, my life changed. Really? Do you think of it like that? Oh, yeah. It's like, I mean, I was doing well, but if I would have had the same career that I would have had pre-roast for the rest of my life, like, I was like totally happy with that.

I tour theaters. They're not the biggest theaters. They're not arenas. I have a lot of money. I'm a single woman, so I don't need that much. I like my life. I like the amount of cool things I get to do.

I'm totally fine with it never being bigger. I wasn't always like, why isn't more people recognize how great I am? Like, if anything, I'm like, eh, this is just right. Yeah. Like, this is what I deserve. And then this pop happened that I,

the only kind of time I ever imagined being like what I feel has happened now is maybe when I was, in high school dreaming about what it would like to be famous and like everyone knows your like people are whispering about you and they see you and they go is that her and like thinking about I'm going kind of going through that right now where it's kind of switched over to that a little bit more not on like a scale that you know an a list or whatever feel but I can feel the shift and it's not something that I've longed for or wanted in the past 10 years of like one of doing this because you kind of find out soon that successes and fame isn't like what it makes you

happy and lovable. But it still feels really good. That's wild. Because you've been doing roasts for a while. So what's so different about this rose? Like Tom Brady? Like him? Just more people saw it. More people saw it. More people saw clips. There was not a lot of other things going on in the news that week. So it just, yeah, it was him. It was just by virtue of the fact that it was live. It was on Netflix. It was part of Netflix is a joke festival. There's like things leading up. It was like, it was an event. And I think I think the live nature of it really did sell it. And the fact that Tom Brady, who is bigger than anyone that's ever been roasted in the past. Really? He's bigger than, I mean, you. I mean, Justin Bieber was as close as you got. But like

literally anyone else, I mean, the people I've roasted, Rob Lowe, not bigger than Rob Lowe, Alec Baldwin and Bruce Willis. So I think he, you know, he's, those guys are big, but they're on like kind of the downside of their career where Tom's just starting out, you know, he's 44. He's not going anywhere anytime soon and doesn't really need this. So I think that was the big deal. Yeah. And also, I mean, you did mention Netflix and because before it was like a comedy central thing only. Yeah. Oh, gotcha. No, that's wild because like when we. Uncensored. When we set up this podcast, it was like Nikki's coming out with with her special. Like your PR didn't even mention the roast. It was. Because it was like a blip. It was supposed to be a blip.

It was. Yeah. It wasn't. I knew it wasn't a blip. Maybe people weren't taking it as seriously in my camp and maybe we were trying to respect HBO, like this is an age, like, we have to promote the HBO special. We don't want to promote for Netflix. There's a lot of politics that are involved in it. In the end, though, it benefited everyone. Like, HBO is seeing a huge pop because more people are watching my special because they recognize me from the roast. Are you up to number one yet?

Because I saw number two. I was number two in movies. Yeah. I don't, I didn't even know I was a movie, so I'm just happy to be nominated. No, and I feel like everywhere, I feel like you've had specials on other streamers. And now every streamer I open, they're pushing it. You're the face. you're the that's what I'm saying

that's the change is like people are starting to go through their archives and be like we did an interview with her once and she said things are you are you scared are you scared I mean no I I'm learning my lesson like I made a like you know with more fame comes people just paying attention to everything you say so I was on a podcast that I thought you know people

listen to but it's not going to get TMZ isn't going to notice it or what I not that any TMZ would ever care about me they barely care when I literally go up to them and go I've got a scoop like they don't I I literally used to be the girl. There's TMZ buses driving through L.A. all the time with people, which is a thing I would have totally done had I go to L.A.

in high school or college to, like, see celebrities. And sometimes I see these bored people like in this bus and they're driving down sunset. And that's, like, near the comedy store. That's usually where I'm staying. And I walk during the day. And I used to stop them and go like, I'm Nikki Glazer. I've been on TV if that's exciting. Like, because I just want to see.

It's like, you're not going to get to see the lion that you want to see on the safari, but you got to see like a bonobo who's like waving at it. Like, I feel like I'm. the bonobo gives them something like oh we saw someone who's on tv so i used to like be you know running after tm z vehicles and now they're picking up an innocuous thing i said on a i had just gotten a dm from kim kardashian which is i feel like it's an okay thing to admit and that's where i should have stopped and said she just dm me something nice but instead i read the dm because it was honestly i felt like if she read it i wouldn't feel offended so i kind of just like applied that

to her not knowing that she might people just take things out of context for her and also just because it's, she didn't say anything weird. She doesn't want it read out. Like, I just thought it was like a lovely exchange between two people that was just loving and Wait, how are people misinterpret? How? Because in the thing she was like, she was just giving me props. She was like, girl, I don't know how you killed it.

I don't know how you do that. It is, it's like, it's abuse. Okay. So people took that and ran the abuse? And now they're, they're saying, Kim, Gordon, Glazer, she doesn't understand the roast, it's abuse. So it sounds like she's talking about what they may have done when she got booed or something.

She wasn't talking about that. She was just talking about showing respect to people up on the stage who are much more inclined to get jokes said about them. And my response is, it is abuse. She's not wrong. But yes, obviously we're asking for it. She didn't say that we didn't deserve it. She was just saying it's abuse.

It literally is. Someone is saying the worst things about you to your face. It's not nice. It doesn't make you feel good. And also, I give her so many props. People are like, people are just being mean to her because they don't like her because they're jealous. or because they have some other kind of beef that has nothing to do with them,

that they're sticking up for someone else. And to me, she was really cool to be there. She sat there the whole fucking show when other people made their little appearance and then got the hell out of there. She sat the whole show and watched everyone for three hours and was such a good sport laughing the whole time. I saw her laughing during my set.

I was like, I fucking love this girl. She is like the real deal. And then she gets up there and gets booed, doesn't let her rattle her at all, doesn't even give it credence, nails her lines that I knew she would, because she was great on SNL. And then to have,

I just saw the comments in these little, like, you know, E.T. Exclusive. Kim Park Dashy, DM, Zicki Glazer that the roast is literal abuse. And I'm like, I wrote under it. I wrote a caption or a comment response back being like, that's, she was talking in hyperbole. It was a nice conversation between two people

that was all about love and respect and it's being twisted. I learned my lesson. I'm sorry, Kim. I'll never ever read anything. Literally if you're just like, cool shirt, Like, I'll never, ever read a private DM from someone. I learned it. Did you DM her, like, sorry.

No, I'm scared now, to be honest with you. I'm just hoping this gets picked up. This ad is sponsored by By Heart. By Heart is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents. The mission is simple. Make the best formula in the world. You guys know that I am ready to go.

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covered. If you're thinking you want to open an online shop, Shopify is there for you. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash not skinny. Go to Shopify.com.com slash not skinny. Now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in, Shopify.com slash not skinny, all lowercase, chaching. will tell you as a Kim internet friend she doesn't care about anything like she's literally like Nikki that's what I figured too she's not even going to notice like it doesn't move it doesn't tickle her schnitzel like she's when I see the crazy shit posts about her I'm always wondering like is she alive like when the crazy shit happens and even then like she's okay you know she's living her life she doesn't care so and that's why yeah she's a brave bitch that's

So don't feel, don't feel bad. I get you because. I just don't want her to be like, what the fuck? This bitch, like, betrayed me or like, you know, is. But if she sees the clip, which she will, she'll see that you were excited about getting a DM from her. And she'll, like, love it. Yeah. But it just, that just sucks when things are taken out of context.

And like, it's, it's kind of hilarious where you're like, how are they going to do it with this? But they'll spin it. Let him be your inspiration to, now that you're, you know, can't walk these streets without all the attention. Now you know. And you know not to let it. Now I know. Now you know not to let it. But what did you think of the boots? Because I watched it live, which again is now making me think of the like psychology of this roast. Like I watched a roast live at like a three hour roast. And then I got in bed actually because like I was like I saw everybody I wanted to see. And then I started getting messages like Ben Affleck is being so embarrassing. And I ran out to the living room. It was an event. And I went to watch Ben Affleck. I was like, I need to see it. But what? It was like the Oscars, like in terms of people, yeah, consuming it and talking about it. Wild. But I don't get how, because, like, I don't care about Tom Brady.

I don't even think Tom Brady. I mean, you were salivating over him. I was, like, going to ask you, really think he's that hot? I was, like, trying to decide. I did. And then I saw him in person and he looked a little bit different. I mean, like, not that he's not hot. Like, I still think he's a gorgeous perfect man.

He's too perfect, you know? Like, it's not even. Yeah. It's, yeah. But, yeah, I was, I was horny for him and watching, like, I, I, you know, watched all the documentaries about him. And I was just horny for him in terms of like, I respected him so much and thought it was really cool

how hard he worked and how he was kind of counted out. He was really counted out. And then he became the best ever. It's just fascinating. So I really respect him. So I leaned into my horniness to sell those jokes about like, oh, God, you're so fucking. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I did watch like an old roast of yours and you referenced him, which is like kind of like a foreshadowing. And you called him a goat too. Yes. I was shitting on Peyton Manning. And I was like, Peyton Manning, you're so good in commercials. You're like the Tom Brady of commercials. Yeah. Because Tom Brady's the goat, you know, like so you're like the goat. So I explained it to him. And I had no idea. Yeah, the foreshadowing that that. Maybe Tom saw that and liked me. Because I know that Tom had to approve my presence on the dais. So I'm sure he was aware of me. Oh, he thought. Yeah. So maybe that was like. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was like she's into me. Wait, but what did you think then of the booze? Because I watched it live before. before the Netflix cut it out, I was, like, I was like, what? What is going on? And I watched her for me, if I get really nervous, I'll like swallow spit or like nothing was happening. She was

fine. And she literally was like, guys, guys, what was the vibe in the room? Were you shocked at the have you ever seen a booze in a roast? You know what? I know. And it made me really like upset and it made me, I thought it was swiftly meditated. And I was, as a Swifty, disappointed in... Yeah, control your people, Nicky. I just... But that I learned it wasn't my people. Oh, it wasn't your people?

Okay, so this is insider info. Pick this up, E.T. I ran into someone who at the comedy store the next night, and they were with some wild guy who's a comedian. Just like a... I don't even know. It's some open mic or guy who kind of has a reputation for just like starting shit and being kind of like...

Like a roast comic type. guy in the scene. I don't remember who it was, but apparently he started the boo as just like a joke. Like, he was just, you know, probably had too many drinks or something. And he's not affiliated with Swifties, anything. Like, just felt like saying a boo into the air. And apparently just everyone was so riled up. And, you know, she state, I think she stands for like, there are sports fans and she stands for being famous for nothing. She doesn't have talent or whatever. So it just kind of got caught wind. But it wasn't Swifty meditated. I do have that on good information that it was not based on that.

And because I was like, this doesn't feel like a huge Swifty crowd. Not that there's not Swifties everywhere, but it didn't feel like that was the vibe in the room. And I was like, oh, this is just like sports fans wanting to have some sort of release taboo because there were so many Patriots fans there. And then the guy that started it started as a joke and it just caught on too much. But it wasn't, I was so glad to learn it was not Swifty. Well, yeah, it makes sense.

Like the audience was like barstool vibes too, even though like the president. Avaristool hates Kim. So, yeah, that it sets in line. And, like, listen, it's not just like Swifties who have beef with her suddenly. It's like everyone, even people who love her kind of resent her. It's weird.

It's people who watch the Kardashians don't like the Kardashians. And they don't realize subconsciously they love the Kardashians, but they claim to not. That's the thing is like, and I think I used to be that kind of fan too where, you know, I'd make fun of them

and like try to, convince myself I was better them in some way and why are they talented but then I'm just like they fucking are talented I don't it's yeah

it's not like a skill that you can like that you can define like she's good at jug like this thing that she does it's kind of indescribable but it's not they're good at branding

and they're good at being themselves on camera which is hard to do not the day you guys were in 2024 there are a gazillion people famous for not not a skill you know what I mean

I don't want to hear that anymore like they're not talented They clearly are. They've achieved something consistently for 20 years now. They're talented. You just don't, it doesn't look like the talent

you define. Okay, so it wasn't the swifties, but you are a huge suifty, but still you are, you don't take sides in this feud. This is the way I am with my friends and like,

something about myself that I wouldn't even know unless my boyfriend pointed it out, he's like, Nikki, whenever he says something when people are singing my praises, he's like, and another thing about Nikki

is that she, she won't not, like someone because someone else doesn't like them. She has to find out for herself. And yes, I can be, like, mad at disappointed in how people have behaved towards people I love. And, but I kind of give them a chance with me to defend themselves. And, you know, until I'm friends with Taylor Swift and know intimately what happened, and I'm not just assuming from songs that literally might not be about Kim.

Like, she could be totally deceived. It could be about a girl named Kim from high school. Like, we, she hasn't confirmed it, everyone. Okay, Nikki. It's capitalized in the fucking time. title. It's so about Kim. Come on. But yes, I know it is, but there is reasonable doubt. And I just, until I'm friends with Taylor and I learn the intimate details and that make me go, what? But the Bob, but Nikki, even Taylor's friends. I mean, we have everyone, Lana was just, you know, we hugging Kim on the carpet. Sabrina Carpenter was in Skins. I think Taylor is okay with it. Maybe she's okay with that. I think Taylor is like maybe is, is someone who is. is okay to pick her own battles and doesn't need alliances. Or maybe not.

Maybe we'll see her distance herself from those women. But I would hate to lose an opportunity to feel like I'm, my love for Taylor Swift is not diminished by the fact that I see room for Kim Kardashian to have been a good person to me, at least. I've only noticed her being kind to me. And I kind of that way with everyone, like I kind of got to witness it for myself. And I love how you say, maybe that's a bad quality.

I love how you say until I'm friends with Taylor. Like you're not leaving room here for. You know. Oh, no, it'll happen without question. Wait, let's talk about this. Has she slid into your DMs ever? No, but I don't expect that at all. And I'm not, I'm not holding my breath waiting for that.

I am really so satisfied with being the fan that I am right now. It's like my life is so full because of Taylor Swift. So anything that like could mess that up in terms of like, now there's added pressure because she's my friend. Like, and if I ever felt like I disappointed her, I couldn't, like, I don't think I'd be able to listen to her music in the same way. I'm almost like, let's keep this, because I inevitably will disappoint my friends. But you know she's aware of you because you were invited to her show years ago. And now Travis is like talking about you. And you're going to be on his show, the fifth grader show.

Yeah, I did a show with Travis. I filmed like two days of episodes with Travis Kelsey, which was incredible to work with him. And like, I just kept it cool. Like I didn't want to be like, hey, I'm obsessed with your girlfriend. I was going to make a joke during the taping that was like, Travis, it's nice to meet you. It's nice to meet one of my best friends, boyfriends. Because that's how I feel. That's how I felt the whole taping was just like, oh, my God, I'm so excited for my friend.

He's so nice and cool and friendly to everyone and, like, respectful. So you get it, you get it? Like, when you were with him? I'm so happy for my friend Taylor because he's awesome. I really was. I was like, this guy's a frickin' winner. He treated everyone so kindly. He was really good at it, like this job that's a really hard, like, reading from a teleprompter,

owning a show, making it your own. because there's comedians on it and there's also contestants. Him, like, I've witnessed people host talk shows countless times. I'm always on these celebrity panels of things. And they're not easy to host and to make everyone feel like

they're important for being there. And he made us all feel so good. And it was a fast day. Like, he's just good. He's just good. Everyone that was working there was just like, this guy was walked into it, never hosting anything.

And we gave him a couple pointers. And he just did the work. He went home and just watched tape, learned how to be, and came in on Monday and was just knew who he was. And that's why I was just like proud of my friend's boyfriend. I was just proud. I was like, you've already done so much and now this.

I mean, he did say he wants to be like the rock, you know? Like his goals are bigger than football. He absolutely can be. There's no question that he can have a very long career in hosting to the point where you're like, he used to play football. You know, like those guys where you're like, Oh my God. Oh, Michael Strahan. Like, sometimes I forget he played football. Oh, yeah. Like that kind of thing. Yeah. He could have that. He's that talented. And he's just,

he's nice to people that he works with. I can tell that he's just, and those people last long in this business. He was great. You don't, I got so nervous around him. Oh, you did? You were nervous. Like his, I, I realize now I can't keep it cool around. I will eventually be cool, but when I first meet someone I really love and I've loved a while, like Dave Matthews and Taylor Swift, if I ever meet her in person. I know I won't be able to keep my cool. But Howard Stern, like, the first time I met these people was just like, like, I don't know how to talk. Like my body fails me in a way that it doesn't in any other aspect of my life. But with Travis Kelsey, my teeth were literally chattering when I had my, like, on camera, I was fine talking to him because it's like, I'm on camera. But then the second the cameras are

off and he's like, so where are you from in Ohio? And I was just like, I literally couldn't remember the town that I'm from in Ohio. And my teeth were chattering because I was so nervous. But then, you know, after 30 seconds it goes away or whatever. But at first I was like, Nikki, you are losing control of your body because this person's proximity to your favorite person. So yes, I'm going to be friends with that person someday. So you literally said nothing about Taylor the whole day? No, no, no.

I didn't. He complimented my suit. He was like, love the lavender suit because he was just like, he was always making people feel seen and special. And he goes, nice lavender suit. And I go, lavender haze baby. So I like threw that out there. I think that was the first thing I said to him.

And I was like, is he going to? Did you? And he just, like, pointed out, you know, like, did you overthink it after or did you feel good about that decision? I felt good about that decision because it didn't seem to make him go, like, wait, she's a Swiftie. I did change my screen. Actually, I didn't change my screen.

My screen was Taylor Swift, like, for my face plate, you know? And I have Taylor Swift's phone case, which I know she still has. I thought this one I bought like two years ago and I thought she would move on, but she still has it. So, but I was like, if I changed this out and change my screen, that means that I'm like hiding something from him. And I don't want to be like, if he finds out, he's going to know eventually that I'm a huge fan. I just don't want it to be like me being like, I'm a huge fan. Like, if he sees her on my thing, I'll be like, yeah, isn't this picture fucking hot and cool?

Like your girlfriend rules. I'd be like able to say that. I got you. I'm just thinking like if you had more time, you could have probably gotten like a FaceTime or something, you know? No, I don't want that. No. Taylor and I will be friends when Taylor wants to be friends with me. Like I don't ever want to try to finagle a way to meet her.

I will never ever people are always like I have a way for you to meet her like I can get like this guy will and I go no wait but you didn't meet her wasn't the story but you don't consider that like a real meeting but that was like I didn't know Taylor Swift yet like she was just a girl who sang and I saw her concert and I was blown away at the concert in a way that was just like what is this and then I met her afterwards and she was so nice but I was not a swiftie yet okay it was it was not the same so I'll be cool when I meet her but I just wanted to happen like where she goes I want to meet I want to be friends with her you know because I'm on board. I don't want to push it on her.

Yeah. She knows. Yeah. I don't know if like the phone case and the screen saver, like if that will be too much, you know, to be like friends. You know, it probably is and that's okay. Maybe I'm trying to make it too much so she actually never comes calling because I it's too much.

I like almost don't want it. Like I'm sabotaging you. You are. But having her on my phone screen helps my life. No, I can't with you. And having her phone case makes me feel cool because I like her style and like it makes feel like it's worth it even if it's kind of. crazy. But I will say that I'm friends with some girls that started as fans of mine,

like fans in the same way that they're like shaking when they met me. No, stop. And I have one friend, I have one friend in particular. And this was before I was, this is, you know, six years ago. She was a comedian. So she was aware of me in ways other people weren't. And she just consumed everything I did, knew everything about my life, listen to every podcast. And she was friends with a friend of mine who I ran into outside of a restaurant. And I was like, oh, is this your girlfriend? And he was like, no, this is Carl out. And she was like, in the background, she's just like, kind of like, Hi. And I was like, hi. And she was like, she loves you. And I was like, oh my God, let's take a picture. And then I was going to a party the next night. I was like, come to this party. Like, and then we hung out and she knew everything about me. And she already was on board. She already loved me. I'm very honest on podcast. So it's like if you do listen to me on podcast and think you could be friends with me. You probably could. You're probably right. It's just a matter of me meeting you and you living in my town. Wait, where do you live? Like not in L.A. Well, at the time I was in L.A. But I live in St. Louis now. What was that? What's that decision? Like I'm St. Louis.

My boyfriend is here. We're both from here. We both moved back. We were broken up for like three years. We had dated. We broke up for three years and we both moved back to St. Louis during COVID. And we just started hanging out to be like,

oh, you're someone I know. We didn't have like a, we weren't like mad at each other after our breakup. And then it just turned into more. And then I filmed a reality show. And we were dating when that started filming. And I was like, will you be on camera? I was like, you know, the guy I'm dating because you are.

And he was like, I don't really want to be on camera. When I said, well, I sold this. the show to them is a show about me dating. So I'm going to go on dates. And I kind of want to date someone who wants to be on camera with me. I think reality TV could be in my future. And he said, okay, I'll be on camera. So then he was on camera.

And then we started going to therapy through the show. Like, because you not need to do shit on a reality show. They need to like, that's, they're like, okay, we guys go to a therapist. And I was like, okay. And we literally still see that therapist. We went to her today, actually. Like, and that was three years ago. So that show kind of like made our relationship work.

Wait, but the show was, what year was that? because that was, you were placed the Kardashian slot. Yeah. Yes. Yes. We filled that. 2020. May of 2020 was when it aired.

But you're dating him for 10 years. So what was the, what was the first bit? The first bit was 2018 or sorry, 2013 to 2016. And then we break up a lot, but we took a big break from 2016 to 20 about. And then got back together when you were both in San Luis. And now you're there. how is living there? It's good. I like it because when I'm in New York and L.A., I feel just this pressure to work, work, work. There's always a podcast to do. There's always a, you know, a set to go do at night. There's just so, and I'm someone who is addicted to work. And if I'm not working and I could be, I feel guilty. So I like being in St. Louis because I come back here and I don't, there's not this pressing urge for me to perform all the time here. So it's kind of like a break. And I go on the road every weekend. So it's just like, I come back here and I have like a normal life and. So you think you're going to say, you think you're going to say?

No, I think that now that I've had this pop, I think that more work is going to come in. Now that I'm leveled up and, you know, used to be DMing Kim Kardashian, I think that I am going to probably end up in L.A. or New York. But I think keep a place in St. Louis. I kind of like being every, every, I like, I like living out of a suitcase. I like living in hotels. I like flying. Wait, and I don't really mind it. What's boyfriend's name?

Chris. Yeah, he's down. He's a TV producer. And so he works from job to job to kind of freelance. And we work together on a lot of things. So yeah, he's, he loves travel too. So it's kind of ideal. And you don't see a breakup again happening. Well, that's not off the table by any means because it's just always kind of, you know, it's there's one looming. We're like, we're in a patch right now where we were like about to break up. And I think it's actually we're, we're making a concert effort to try harder. But it's always, there's always a chance. No, because you talk about like kids and stuff, but you don't, you talk about like not wanting kids openly and stuff, but you don't talk about like the marriage. Yeah, that to me scares me too. I just don't like saying something is the way it's going to be forever because if it's not perfect, I don't want it forever. So I just kind of, I like the idea that I can get out of something and it's not fun to be with me because you don't feel like consistency and secure. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's something I'm trying to find a way to be able to give to someone without having to get married. Not that he even wants that. But just trying to figure out how to be like a partner to someone and consistent and kind of say goodbye to other, like make sacrifices, you know, like. But there's something about me that does not like permanence. I don't own a home. I don't like to stay in one place too long. Oh, so you're renting. You're renting and.

Yeah. I don't own anything. I don't even own a car. I bought my mom a car and then I was like, I'll just drive her old car. I like don't like owning. I can't come. I'm bad at. Oh my God.

Therapists have some work. Oh, she's, yeah, and that we haven't even touched on that. I've been going to therapy for so long and my commitment issues or haven't even been addressed. But they, yeah,

but I guess they have because it all comes from a place of not feeling worthy of love or nice things like of messing something up of regret, which I don't know where a fear of regret comes from. It's something I struggle with a lot. but have been better about getting over. But like, you know, it used to consume me. I would just make some mistake on something and just go like, why did I do that?

Why would I have done that? Well, you're such an idiot. And that's something I really have had to work on letting go of because it would happen every single time I'd do anything high pressure. And it's just ruined my week afterwards. I've talked about this before that like even when I was a coffee girl, it was like coffee in the morning,

but then tea throughout the day. like tea gets me going. I started drinking tea when I worked at this company and my best friend at the company was like she was the coolest woman ever and we used to just gossip all day and drink tea together. She got me into tea. It's actually making me tear up a little bit. It was a very beautiful friendship. Anyway, we were drinking tea together and it just got me so hooked on tea like, oh, just like sipping my tea and made me feel dainty and cute and small and like healthy and truly like I would eat the fattiest meal and like drinking cup of tea. and be like, I'm sorry, I'm so small.

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please let them know. I sent you. Give me some credit with Kim. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and my show in the drop-down menu that follows. Well, now you're turning 40 in like a minute. Yes. Wait, is it June you're a Gemini.

June 1st. How? I'm May 31st, by the way. Oh, my God. Yes. So how Gemini are you? Like, you're so I guess I am like it's like what else would you be you know yeah I like just being you mean non-committal and just kind of like flighty I mean there's some people that you meet and you find out that well I'm a Gemini too so it's not like I'm like astrologically like inclined in general I just like know when I see a birthday of somebody like when I saw you were June 1st it just like was like well I love that I love being a Gemini I feel like even the bad things about it I'm like

like, no, I'm kind of glad that I have that. I just learned during this roast that I'm really competitive. And I think that's always something that I... If you want to know, you won. If that was a competition, then you won it. I think that's the first time I've let in that I'm competitive because it's the first time I've ever won something, really? You know, like, I'm like, oh, this is kind of fun being competitive.

But it's true. Like, I really always, I think avoided that description on myself because it just sounds like someone who's an asshole because you just picture competitive people being like sore losers and I can be all those things. But I think right now I'm like, okay, this is something I like about myself is that I, I'm competitive and I'm going to lean into it. It can actually be someone not that is just a sore loser and like kind of aggressive. It's like someone who works really hard. Okay, maybe it's good to be competitive. And I'm trying to focus on the things that I feel are deficient and like lean

into them and see what happens. That's my new goal for myself is to be like, okay, this new person I am is competitive. What does that, what does that turn into? Yeah. Well, what do you think? Well, I think in terms of my relationship, it means, like, you know, I realize that I really like winning someone over and like feeling like I won someone. So for me, when I'm in a relationship and it's safe and I'm like, he's mine and I'm secure, it's kind of boring to me. Like, I don't get comfort from feeling secure. And that's a problem. And I have to address that because I should feel comfort in being secure. I shouldn't always have to feel anxious about stuff.

but I do like, I like when I'm, like, chasing someone a little bit. And then I earn them. It feels good to me. And I, I feel like in my relationship, I do feel very secure enough to be like, yeah, you can go out and, like, talk to other girls. I think that'll actually make me like you more. And I don't think I'll lose you because I am secure that you love me. So it's like, I think I'm toying with that.

And I don't want to be someone who's like, I am Polly. But I think that, like, I could be. I could be. And I don't even know what that means. But, like, I don't care. I think it would make me want something more and try harder in a relationship if I felt like I was at a...

You had competition. If you had other girlfriends, no, I'm dead that you're taking this to that level. That your brain works that way, that you win... This is what therapy did today. It opened me up where I was like, I think this is what I need. I don't know.

Let's try. I can't that you win from, like, competitive, winning the rose to... To like, winning a man. Am I polly? Yeah, like, Holly people get, like, I don't even know what it means to say that, but I think I might need to look into it because it, but even though I, you know, and they say like open relationships, whatever this is, I'm not even, I'm not doing it. I'm just talking about it, but they're like, you know, they don't work. And it's like, well, neither do monogamous ones. Like what they all, everything kind of like fails. So I don't know. I'm, I'm open to new ways of trying things because I'm like literally doing laundry in the next room and you're over here like changing the relationship into like. like different things. To his benefit, I thought like, you could go meet. You think he would be down though? I think so. Like, I think, um, he's open minded. I can't speak for him, but he is a, he's a hot guy.

And if I'm feeling like in our relationship, I'm not providing him with that kind of attention that he wants, maybe go get it. You deserve it. You're so hot. Like if I don't have time to like, because I go through, you know, hormonally you go through like stuff. I'm like, go get this somewhere else. And maybe actually you getting it somewhere else will make me go like, wait, I want it. You know, like as sad as that seems, he was not offended at the idea of it.

He wasn't offended. When I presented it. Today, this was all today happened. Yeah, like literally right before I got on. Wait, and then he, does he, because you roasted him a little bit in your. Yeah. I said I'd shoot him in the fucking face for a lottery ticket to suck on breeze.

Does he care about shit like that? No, he was there when I decided to do that joke. And what he said? And he thought it was funny. He was like, do it. It's, it's really funny. And he goes, maybe I can talk to the guy they could cut to a close up of me.

And I thought that would be so funny. So he tried to make it better because it was supposed to be this moment of like, I'm about to propose to him or like, you know, just like love of my life. And it would have been so funny to have him like look back of me and like, I love you too, babe. And then I go and I would shoot you in the fucking figure.

It would have added to the comedy. But his seat sucked so they couldn't get the camera back there. So, but yeah, he was totally down. That's what's so great about him is that he doesn't mind me being myself comedically even if it means throwing him under the bus. That's so nice.

He is just like as long as it's funny he really like puts comedy first which is so nice but that you know I'll definitely talk to him about this conversation after it and be like

should I tell them to cut anything but I think I feel like I've learned where the line is from because there is a line for sure but it's definitely it's the bar is lower than I think other guys would have for me so like the shorts of like in your

yeah he doesn't care about the shorts out Is he really short? I mean, he's shorter than Mays, five, eight and a half, I think. Okay. And I'm five, nine and a half. So it's like, and then I'm always in heels. So it's significant.

Yeah, it's not Kevin Hart short, though. No. Yeah. But I really, like, he could be that short to me. I'm kind of like height blind. I don't really see it on guys. I'm more like, I read confidence more than anything on guys. Like, a guy can look taller to me if he is confident and handsome enough.

So I, you know, like, my boyfriend's face is like my favorite face. and he's a confident guy. So the shortness doesn't, it doesn't even factor in for me. Well, when you were doing the roast and you were making fun of, like, Kevin being short, I was like, I was telling my husband,

I was like, Kevin really got lucky with the short thing. Because like, you know you're short and then like, what do you care? Go off. You know what I mean? You're so right. It's such a softball.

But is yours, like yours was like the slut thing. Like, do you think that's like an easy one to deal with too? Yeah, but I was kind of feeding into it by trying to suck Tom Brady's dick. And I talk a lot about, if you don't listen to my stand-up, you don't, if you're not, like, really paying attention, you would think I'm a slut because I talk about sex a lot. So, like, I don't mind that. It was more like, you're not funny. Those are the ones that hurt are like, the industry is, I think Tony Hinchcliffe said, like the industry is shoving us, you down our throats, much like you shove your hand because you're bulimic. The bulimic thing didn't bother me because I was like, oh, you think I'm thin. Like, I didn't care about that at all. And I talk about having an eating disorder so often that that's okay for people to, like, reference that. It does not affect me at all. If anything, I'm like, the sick part of my brain is like, they think I'm thin. Like, I don't, I don't, literally don't care at all. People wrote to me being like, Nikki, I'm so sorry they used that against you. That seems really hurtful. And that

did not affect me. What affected me is being said I'm not funny or that I'm like, somehow like, people are forced to like endure me. Yeah. I would be like the biggest insult. Really? That's the biggest. Yeah. That one like, I was like, oh. Like, do you like, do you like, because I never don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted. So if I'm never one to be like, you know, with this newfound fame like that I was saying or the attention that I'm getting, I'm not like, I've been here the whole time, guys. You haven't noticed. I was always like, yeah, this is what I deserve.

But you, if you said the former, it would make sense. Like you have been here. Yes. Like, and you keep saying this newfound thing, which like the way you're talking about it is, is I feel like, I feel like your fans. wouldn't even say it that way. They wouldn't be like... No, they wouldn't.

They wouldn't say that, you know, they would back you up. I'm just saying, like, the new people that know about me that didn't know about me two weeks ago, because there is, like, a ton of people that may have known of me, but not paid any attention. Just like, she's a girl whose face I kind of see on podcast and stuff. How many followers did you go up on Instagram? I think it was like over 200,000. Stop.

Like a... Which is pretty significant. And I have a million. So it was like grew by 20%. Oh, it went like from... one to one point two yeah i've been waiting for that point i was at one for literally over a year and i don't really pay attention to the things i wasn't looking like how many i like i was just like someday the point one's going to show up and it was not showing up anytime soon until the roast you don't

right because that's a big once you get to that then that's like you have to jump by a hundred thousand to feel any change yeah so before then i was getting like daily little like hits of dopamine like oh up another thousand but now yeah so that's been so yeah so yeah it's like it just more people are recognized me and I just feel like and more people that are like I've always wanted to work with or I've always wanted them to acknowledge my existence or like A listers I think are starting to be like you are awesome where I'm like oh like that person knows my name now and they did it last week and I might be someone they wanted to work with. There's not a part of me that's like you didn't want to work with me last like last year like what I could have done this last year. I feel like I'm right at the moment where I deserve exactly what I'm getting like I feel like it's the right time. I feel like it's the right time. That's such a great outlook, and especially, like, right when you're turning 40, they do say that 40 is, like, the new hot era. It feels like it. Yeah, that's amazing.

Yeah. Oh, my God, I love that. And, like, just the person I'm becoming, like, I'm still morphing into this woman that I kind of see myself as, and I'm not quite there yet, but I've made some good strides. Like, I feel like really things, I wrote a song that is people love that's doing really well. Yeah, it's getting a lot. You wrote someday you'll die. So it's, like, goes along with your space.

special. Yeah, I had to, I wrote, I wrote it because my special was, we were editing it and I didn't have a song for the credits and I couldn't afford to buy one because for like $30,000. We were over budget. It would have come out of my pocket. So I was like, I'll just write a song and singing for like, since COVID. And so like even that doing that is like insane to me. I always wanted to be a singer. I would always dream of like, oh, I wish I could like have a song that people would know or like enjoy and listen to on repeat. Like that just was not even close to an option for me four years. go. So that's so cool that I was able to make that happen. It's like, what else could I do that's always been a dream? Like, I just don't think there's, 40s is feeling really good. And like, and I feel like when you're in 40s, like, it's just not the vibe to care what people think. Like, it's just not 30s. You can still kind of be insecure. And yes, of course, I'll still be insecure my 40s. There's no question. But it just isn't the vibe. Like, everyone just wants a 40 year old woman to fucking know who she is and kind of like lean into it. And I think that I'm, at least that's what I want from my 40-year-old women or women in their 40s.

Like, I hope we all just let go of this stuff. So I think 40 is the first frontier of really shedding that, like, desperate for approval, desperate to look a certain way or be a certain way. And I think I'm just like, I'm right approaching it. And I'm like ready for that change to like drop that shit. Oh my God. I love that. Yeah.

I love that. I think it's time. I mean, it's like this new era for you, which like I didn't even realize before talking to like how much your feel. it, you know? Like you see it from the outside, but you're really feeling it and owning it. And it looks like you probably age has something to do with it. Because if you were 25 and this was happening, like, who knows how you would have handled it? I would feel so undeserving. I would have felt so guilty. Like at 25, I knew I like was not ready. I got things here and there and I would be

like, okay, this, having an MTV show at 27 feels right. It's MTV. Not many people are watching at this level, at this scale. I would have felt so undeserving. And I still struggle with that. and I'm trying to meet myself where I am in terms of what people think I deserve. I'm getting close to meeting myself and being like, yeah, I do deserve this. But back that I, it's, thank God for this timing. I really, I couldn't have handled this at another time.

Were you worried that people would go from the roast, you know, people that may you maybe for the first time or knew of you, like you said, and they died over you. And then they're like, damn, she has a special coming out, running to see it. And then expectations are high. Yes.

So that was my biggest. fear. I was like, thank you for articulating it. Like, I haven't been able to say it because it feels so embarrassing to say it. But like, I was like, hey, I hope everyone knows that six minute roast that I did was like months and months of such hard, fucking intense labor that a stand-up special just isn't. Yes, it's a lot of work. Wait, a roast is more work than the stand-up special? You know, if you really, it's more focused intense work. Like, it's like, I would say a special is like a, like a, a, a playoff game and the roast is a Super Bowl. Like, the stakes are high, but is not, but there's more, there's more room to like, okay,

we're, we're in a serious playoff game. We could get them back. Like, there's just, and it's like an accordion, like it's changing. It's so big. And it's also, I'm, it's, I'm not as focused, like up there. I have six minutes to be the best ever. I have a whole hour to prove who I am. And there's going to be, it's a storyline and it goes up and down.

So I'm not going to be. like hard-hitting jokes the whole time. An immense amount of work goes into specials. They are so daunting and it's the same level of pressure that I put on myself for the roast. But in terms of like the performance, it's just a balance beam routine that you're watching on a roast and a special is more like a long match that were, you know, like it's just different. The level of like, is she going to nail it? Like I don't want people to expect that level for the special.

But then the special came out and people didn't expect that. They know that it's different, a different form of comedy that I'm doing. and it's more personal and conversational. And darky a little. Darky, yeah. A little darky. Oh, yeah. I think that I love that that comes out in there.

Like, if you can't handle that, like, it's okay and it's not for you, but I feel like that really is so me. And I was really glad that I got to, like, include that stuff. And some of it I feel like, oh, maybe I jump the gun and putting it in a special because now I'm talking about the fertility. Which one? Which darky stuff? Just all of it. Like, now I've, like, leaned into. Like the suicide stuff, the fertility stuff, like I found better ways to articulate the dark thought I was having that makes it a little less harsh and a little more palatable, which is always what you're kind of trying to do.

But it's, it happened for the way. I was ready to do it at the time. And that's the worst thing about taping a special is that you keep doing the material afterwards because you like it. No one's seen it yet. So you take it on the road. And then it gets better. And you're like, no, why is this? Like, now it, but I wish I could add that one line.

to it, but it's okay. That's just like the, that's always what happens. And now all those jokes have like led to new premises. So a lot of my new stuff that I'm taking on the road is the same themes, but it's just worked out more and has more depth to it and more like just I sell the argument a lot better. First of all, a roast is wild to me the things that you can say. Because like, I feel like we're so gentle in on social media. Someone will find an old tweet that you like said something like that's a percent as bad as like. like one roast joke, but that's like you could be canceled. But then in a roast, I mean, you can say, you can call somebody a fat, skinny, bulimic, balding, ugly, disgusting, short.

Yeah. Like, how, but how, like, how is there such a discrepancy? Because you sign up for it, because the person is signed up for it. And that's where it's like, if jokes were made about people that weren't there, like, if you walk into that arena and you're going to be on camera, just know that you're fair game. And they do know that. And there's, I would feel bad maybe for the people who were at the first roast of all time because they didn't, there was no precedent. But you can, like, you can watch videos of what roasts are. And if you agree to go, that's what's going to happen.

And it's, it's kind of a night of unbridled honesty. Like, yes, it's all done under like trying to be cruel, which sucks. But it's is, there's something refreshing about just being honest. I feel like that's why people were obsessed because it's like we miss that. And we crave a little meanness because today, you know, we don't have Joan Rivers even saying a dress on the carpet is ugly. Like you can't even say a dress is ugly anymore. You used to be able to. No, because that's mean.

It's so mean. And then a roast is like, go kill yourself and the crowd is roaring. So I think, I know, like psychologically I was thinking about and I was like, we're so thirsty for like to be like okay to be a little mean and dark and like say the things and not be offended. by everything and like in that fucking place you can do it but also on stage I mean like like in your comedy like you talk about fertility

in a way that you know yeah I literally say that I wanted my friends to have miscarriages so that they could go on like a girl's trip with me and that is let me just say that is obviously a joke like I took that thought to a joke and I make a joke about like you know

planning their bridal shower and I'm like we should go to a stair case museum and like I'm just ridiculous things that would you lead to a possible miscarriage the but the that's a funny way because it's obviously exaggerated and I do not wish that ever but there was a part of me when my friends were getting pregnant that I was like and or when my friends like can you not like can you not yeah or they would miscarry and there would be a tiny part of my really just you know that ego that wants to keep them around that goes oh good like it's not yet I don't don't lose them yet. And even though my friend is going through so much pain, it doesn't take away

from the fact that I'm so sorry for her and I fucking hate this is happening to her. There was a little part of me that was like relieved and I was interested in that part of me that felt like that I was so shamed of that I would ever feel any kind of satisfaction from my friend's horrible pain. Like that's a bad feeling in and of itself to be like, God, I'm a monster to feel this way. But I think, but all it only comes from a place of like I just love my friend a lot. And sometimes my brain goes to wild places that are really dark. And that's not who I want to be. But the only way to kind of combat that ugliness is to like kind of air it out and get it

out there and be like, sorry I thought this. I hate that I thought this. And that's the roast jokes. Like I was delivering them like, Jeff, you look this way. And I'm like, I'm sorry I have to say this. But like, you know, there is remorse around the thought that is true and comes from a true ugly place. Like we're not, we all have unwanted thoughts.

We all have thoughts that you would never tell anyone that you thought. We all have, I'm certain of it. And I choose to disclose some of those. I don't disclose all of them. But when I'm able to make them funny and a little bit more palatable, I think it's okay to disclose them because I do know that everyone has them. And it doesn't mean that I actually want my friends to miscarry. That is, that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.

It just was a dumb little thought that was like, oh, good, more time. But you have the guts and the hootspot. to, like, say these things or when you were talking about rape, which is, like, such a huge word. Yes. And you were saying, like, but she, it's okay.

She was raped, thank God, you know? And that's like, it's a thing again about, like, how just about, you know, people and how behavior is. And it's true that people would be like, she can say that she was, you know. Raped. It's okay. She can do it.

But you're using, even you using that word. Like, I'd be scared to use the word. Oh, dude, I know. Well, it is triggering. If someone in the crowd had been raped, they're going to hear that word and it's going to make them have a physiological response.

Like, I understand PTSD. I understand triggers. Like, I do believe it's totally discomforting to hear and be reminded of something that traumatic that happened to you. However, that is a thing that needs to be talked about. And if we talk about it more,

victims of it, I do believe we'll feel less alone with it unless, like, I think it, we need to talk about it to prevent it, to raise awareness and to, you know, triggering things still need to be talked about. And I always say if you get triggered at one of my shows and you need to leave, I totally get it. Like, I get it. Do you get? I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like from people that, that are offended. I think maybe once or twice in the past. But generally, it doesn't happen. But if it does, I, a hundred percent will give you Venmo your money back.

No questions asked. If you're like, you ruined my night because. you brought up this thing and I had to leave the show. You don't even need to be mad at me. You literally can be like, I love you so much, Nikki, but I couldn't, after you mentioned molestation or whatever, I couldn't get through that bit and I had to leave. I'd be like, I love you so much, girl. I'll invite you to a next show.

I won't do that bit about it. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but I do feel like I still can talk about those things because I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. It's an unintentional consequence of it that you're entitled to feel offended or whatever you feel, but it doesn't mean that I need to not talk about it when you're not there. Because I don't think I'm saying anything that's making fun of you or making

it so that that happens to you again. If anything, I think I'm getting awareness out that makes people not look at you as maybe, you know, not make what happened to you shameful, but by talking about it. So I am trying, I know I'm trying to help with my comedy. I know it's. And yeah, but I would, I would always refund someone. I don't, I don't care that I, you know, I would expect the same. Have you repented? Have you Venmoed anybody in your life? I then mode, yeah. I remember, like, it was years ago, there was a Reddit thread that just said that I wasn't good. And they were right. Like it was like bad.

I remember it was a bad show. I smoked weed before it. And I was just like kind of disjointed on stage. I was going through something. It was one of those shows that you hear someone. I never read things about myself. I just kind of popped up on my feed. And I read like their experience of like she didn't know what she was doing.

It was kind of all over the place. It was too ADD. And I was like, they were fucking right. And I was embarrassed after that show. And if I could, I would give all the money back for it. Like I can't. And I wrote to those people, DM them on Reddit and was like, give me your Venmo.

I am so sorry. And I'll, like, comp you the tickets to the next show where I promise you all never do this again. I needed to learn. I, like, didn't know that other people noticed. And they did. And thank you. And so I Venmoed those people back.

But I haven't had to do it again. And I've said it pretty openly to people that I will Venmo them if they're offended. So it doesn't happen often, I don't think. That's cool of you. I just don't want anyone. I wouldn't want, like, if I'm at a movie and my intelligence is offended just because it sucks, like I'll leave the theater and ask for my money back. Like, I do believe, like, you.

pay to see art that makes you feel respected and comfortable. Like, that's a fair thing to expect. And you're going out on the road again now. Like you're not, you're always, like you're always on the road. She does, always on tour. So I have a new tour that's alive and unwell tour. And yeah, it's just an extension of the kind of things I've been, are we been talking about. But just more of yeah, just keep doing stand-up forever. Stand-up's like my favorite thing to do because it's live. And it's like one special night with people just all in a room together. And you don't have to watch footage of it later and edit it and be like, why did my face do that? Like, it's just one thing that happened. We all experienced it and we don't have to talk about it again.

And it's just, that's what I like about. I don't like reviewing things and like seeing footage of myself. And I don't know about you, but I just can't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I can't. I wouldn't be able to either. But I was, you know what I was thinking before I started the interview with you? I was like, you know, seeing you on the roast and we're seeing so many clips even after watching it. And you're like, oh my God, does she walk around and just like a roast So everybody, like, I was like, she's going to see my maternity photo. She's going to roast it. It's going to roast my nonsign.

She's going to roast my big. I didn't think you were going to, but I was like, you have material. Like, if you wanted to. Right. You know what I mean? But it's like, but it's like you're not, do people come up to you and they're like, roast me? Yes.

And I, that is not like, yes, I can think horrible thoughts about people if I want to and get really vicious and it's so fun. But it is not my natural state at all. my natural state is to, like, be jealous of all of your setup and, like, how cute you look in that photo and, like, oh, my God, your sign, like, is the kind of font I would want for my sign. It's like, my default is to find things that I want about someone else rather than, like, shit on them. So how did you get so good at, at the roasting thing? It's because it's joke writing.

Like, I think I'm a good joke writer and I'm good. And I'm also good at being honest. So it kind of combines those two things. And I'm, I'm someone who, like, I think I'm really. good at roasting myself and thinking of the meanest things to tell myself. And so I can kind of switch it to other people if I want to. Wait, did they, you know? Did they ever do one of you, like, where you were the, the, the, no. And I would hate that because you just have to sit there the whole time and you're, you're last. I love going up soon because then I can relax after

I'm done because you're only nervous about like your performance. I'm not nervous sitting there laughing all night. So I would hate to just have to sit there all night and be like, oh, my set's coming up, but also, like, be present. No, no, thank you. Wait, so what was the deal with Ben Affleck? What did you think of his thing? Was it as weird in person? Yeah, it was not that great. But, you know, he, I think he made the mistake of thinking it wasn't that big of a deal, which I've done before to, you know, like, you just get asked to do something and you go, no one's going to see this. I can just kind of phone it in. That also, like, a confidence in what he was doing that was probably undeserved due to maybe lack of sleep or he wasn't paying attention

enough. Like, he's brilliant and we all know that he is. So he could have done something more impressive. He just didn't work hard enough on it. Probably because he didn't have the schedule or like the energy to do it. And then the premise he did pick would have worked with, he probably didn't rehearse it enough. So we didn't really understand the through line as clearly as we could have. The internet troll thing. The one funny thing he did say, I'll give him credit was the the roast like another Thursday for me as I called. Like that was funny. Yes. I think he had a, he had a theme which was like he wanted to come at people who were internet critics both for him and probably his wife. J-Lo is dealing she gets massive amounts of hate I don't know why and that

just kind of started recently like this like we all don't like her now let's all collectively decide that she's the worst and that's got to be he's got to be dealing that with from her and he's our and for himself and yeah that was like he probably was like this this will be perfect. I get to like exercise some of this anger I have through this lens of Tom Brady. And so he picked that premise. And it sucks because roast jokes, if they don't go well, you're just on to the next one. The next one could go well. But he, his whole thing was one joke. So when it didn't go well right away, it was not going to keep. It was just didn't go well the whole time. I felt for him. We've all been there. Yeah? Yeah. We've all like committed to a premise too hard.

And then it doesn't work. But you have to like, the telepropter's still going. I have to feel it out. And we've all also underestimated what a big deal something is. Right, right, right. You know? Like, oh, my God. Even if like a podcast that I'm like, oh, this is just, I don't even like research it. And then I'm like, it gets that many listeners and I looked like that. Like, you know, like you just, you don't, you don't do your research because your life is too busy.

That's what I assume was going on with him. Yeah. And his marriage is falling apart. I'm just kidding. I did not say that. I just, I read that you last night on some page six thing. Wait, I saw that too. I was like, what are they?

I feel bad for J-Lo. I go, what's the source? Oh, I do too. I feel bad for anyone who just, because anyone who wants to be famous only wants to be liked. So when the tide turns the other way, it's got to feel so fucking horrible. And I think that's part of being liked that scares me is that I know it goes the other way. Like people can't like you for too long. Like Betty White and Dolly Parton are like kind of the only ones that have avoided a time of backlash. And I bet they they dealt with it even before, you know. Is that part of why you were saying like that you were good with like, like the level that you were at before. Yes, no one notices me. Everyone just goes, no one, people don't, you're underrated. It's so much better being underrated than overrated. Underrated is an incredible, how are you, how are you like quieting that, that fear right now? I am trying to believe that I am as rated as much as people are saying and like also not,

and not let it dictate why I'm happy, like not be today a happy day because I got this much attention. Like, I need to find my self-worth in other places. will go away. It is fucking inevitable. It doesn't, there's no way to sustain everything in life goes away. And that's part of why, I mean, that's literally why I don't want kids and why I don't want marriage. I'm like, I'm ultimately scared this thing that I love too much will be taken from me in some way. So if I don't let it in close enough, it can never hurt me. So I'm trying not to let in fame too much because I know it's going to, I know it's going to hurt me. It's like getting a dog. You know it's going to die before you die. Like my fame, barring some

tragedy, my fame will dissipate before I do. You know, like, I'm not going to die as famous as I want to be. You know, it just doesn't happen that way, especially as a woman in this business. If I live to 90, there's no way I'm going to be like as famous at 90 as I am now. No way. So I have to be okay with it going away someday. I have to accept it and not let it get too close.

Oh my God. Perfect timing for our exit song. Yeah. Someday you'll die. I'm sorry, you sound like Taylor Swift. I mean, I think maybe I like Taylor Swift because, No, that's the way I sing, but now I'm like, do I like her because she sounds like me or does, did I just like morph into her? But I would think it was probably the latter, but it's, it's unintentional.

Wait, you said watching yourself as hard. Is listening to yourself hard? No. I like him. Like, I'm not as a good of the singer as I want to be not even close and I have a long way to go. But I am totally in acceptance of the level I'm at and what I delivered on this. Like, I feel like they're proud of. I love it. You're proud of the song. I'm so happy for you. Someday you'll die. Thank you, girl. You're, you're special on Mac, your fucking song and you're killing it. And I think you have such a, like, healthy outlook on everything. And I'm so happy for your success. And it must have felt really good. I thought I was like niche. I was like watching and I was like, I was like, live, live put up the story. And I was like, Nikki Glazer fucking killed it. And I thought I was like, you know, out here on my own. I love that. You know. And then you, I follow like, you know, celebrities and everything. And then everyone was posting it.

And I was like, damn, damn, girl. So really damn girl. No, I mean so much to me that you thought that. Thank you so much. It's, thank you for fitting me in and talking to me. I know you just gave birth. Congratulations. Oh, no, I didn't.

But I'm about to, like, right now. Wait, really? You're pregnant right now? I thought you gave birth three weeks ago. No, I'm 38 weeks today. And I keep saying that I'll stop doing doing podcasts. But then I'm not giving birth. birth yet. So I'm like, what am I going to do? Wait, is this your first baby? Second.

Oh my God. Congratulations. Oh my God. How old your other one? He's going to be four. Yeah. Okay. I know. It's weird. It's like, people are like, when are you going out on maternity leave? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, what am I supposed to do? Just sit. Like, but I kept on saying deadlines. Like, okay, after May 3rd, I'm not going to do. And then after. And then I'm like, but what are I going to do? What else am I going to do? I'm just talking on Mike, even though it's so much work, it's, you convince yourself it's not. Well, good for you. It's just a lot of sweat. It is. Oh my God. Well, congratulations. That's so awesome. It's any second now. Are you nervous? Are you just feel like old hat? I feel like, whatever, you know? Like, let it come. We'll deal with it when it comes. Yes. We're like, are you so excited? And I'm like, I'm, I, there's things to get through before, you know? It's like you don't know. But thank you for coming on, Nikki. You're amazing and can't wait to see what you do. Thank you so much.

Okay, babe. All right. Bye. Bye, girl. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Thank you.