Not Skinny But Not Fat - Open Relationships w/ My Unorthodox Life's Robert Brotherton & Ra’ed Saade

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Whoever binged My Unorthodox Life on Netflix fell in love with Julia Haart’s right hand Robert Brotherton on season 1. On season 2, we were introduced to his new partner Ra’ed Saade, and their complicated relationship. They answer ALL my questions about the intricacies of their relationship, where they are today, how Ra’ed dealt with all the negative comments he got from the show, and more!!! Produced by Dear Media This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Do you want to start a company but have no idea where to begin? Or do you have dreams of becoming an influencer? Well, The Life with Mariana podcast is here to help. I'm Mariana Hewitt, a Los Angeles-based influencer and co-founder of the Clean Skincare Line Summer Fridays. Each Tuesday, I'm talking to my friends from business owners, wellness experts, and more to share all of their best advice for you to live your best life.

Make sure to tune in and subscribe to my podcast and follow me on Instagram at Mariana underscore Hewitt to see what's coming up each week so you don't miss an episode. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonafat on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best friends.

in your living room. Here we go. This morning. I lost a bid on the business I was trying to buy. So there's a little vodka in my sonic drink this morning. first of all Roberts commitment to health I just love it I love the sonic drinks green live green that's just I mean with what's coming out of your body is not green no thank you yeah no thank you if it's not it's not like crushed blue eyes then we don't want it I look in the toilet it's actually goop so I think that's what Gwyneth meant am I wrong good morning everybody Good morning, everybody. So my unorthodox life on Netflix, I recently been to the second season. Today I have on the podcast, Robert and Riyadh, both who, okay, I've been working on this joke all morning. So tell me if it is working, okay?

Does your back hurt from Carrie? That was your morning? That was your, we need to repurpose these hours. No. So does it hurt? You know, sciatica. Yeah. So you guys were really, I feel like, I mean, a lot was going on this season with like the legal drama and stuff like that. I think the audience is left with a lot of questions there and kind of trying to understand what happened. But what made it fun and light and more like pop cultory, bingey, you know, satisfying watch was your relationship. both of y'all's relationship so thank you for that so right now you're in texas you're in new york red i am in new york right next to you amanda right next to me so what's going on with your relationship now we saw in the show there was some open relationship talk there was even sex addition sex addiction right i missed that i did i diagnosed you there was even there was even going to a sex therapist situation

what's where are we at I don't know why I thought going to a sex therapist would end up it with me like winning the open relationship argument the guy was totally supportive of me like being let's just like have this like heteronormative situation

meanwhile he's like and how many times and how many partners per week would you like that seem I should have gone to like some place in Idaho if I wanted to get my way the long story is we're still engaged. We are long distancing at the moment,

although we had a great Christmas in New York. I was there for December and the show to launch and all of that. And still kind of working through the open relationship thing. I don't know. What do you want to add, Rob? Just one second. I have a grinder notification. Can I come get back to you guys really quickly?

Yes, yes, yeah. Addiction all the way. No, no. There is no addiction. Honestly, it started off. Rob and I have been friends for 16 years. I mean, Rob knows me inside an hour. he knows me he knows who I am what I am what I represent we've always had fun together and then

suddenly putting this title like yes we love each other to death and we want to make this serious like what's better than to marry your best friend and then he was just like so what are we going to do about all this like fun we're having and I'm like let's talk about it on TV that's a great idea you got some heat you got some heed you did you know like what you were getting yourself into Girl, I survived being homosexual in Saudi Arabia. You think some heat from a Netflix show is going to get me? Damn. I mean, snap.

But for real, but for real, for real, like it didn't. I mean, I even had moments Robert knows where I was like, protect my Robert. Because, you know, we saw Robert on the first season. We fell in love with him. We were rooting for him. Always saw him as like this great friend to Julia and her family. So we want him to be treated well. and we did see that from you.

I mean, and we all can tell how fun you are and how much energy you bring. But there were moments where I felt like the audience was like, you know, have you seen The Bachelor where you're like,

are they there for the right reasons? I'm like, so we were, what do you say to that? What do you say to people that like questioned your relationship or you? Amanda,

the assignment was to give them an unorthodox life. And babe, I knew what I was doing. I knew that if I'm going to go on national television and talk about an open relationship, it's going to be difficult and hard.

I have no shame. I'm not sure if you know about my history, zero. And nor do I care about, you know, anybody's comments about me or whatever. I really don't care about what people think it's the truth. And I knew I was going to get a lot of like hot fire about it, but it's the truth and the truth is what people want. And it's a truth in the gay community.

There's majority of the relationships I know that have been together for 10 years or more have an open relationship. It's become a normalcy. And I wanted to like add a comedic twist to it. it, but then I have, I have a solid like 50, 50, 50, 50, 50 percent of people love me and 50 percent of people hate me. There's no in between. There's like no in between. Wait, so for the 16 years that you were friends, I want to hear a little bit about that. The 16 years that you knew each other from, was it college that you met?

Yeah, college. Yeah, in college. Yeah. Was it, what university? Syracuse University. That's wild. I went to I think of, I thought to go to Syracuse. Oh my gosh, you did? Where are you from originally? New York. Oh. I loved Ipica. It was too damn cold because I moved from Texas to Syracuse not really knowing what the hell was

what I was doing. Sircus is literally the same amount of cold. Yeah. No, I mean, both of our situations were too damn cold. I mean, I remember like trudging through like feet of snow to like go to a calculus class. I'm like, why am I doing this with? What am I? What's happening?

Like all of these people like in California living the absolute dream and I'm here. freezing my ass off. It was terrible. Yeah, same. Same. Lots of opportunities for coats, which is something I have a passion. Lots of opportunities for goats. So you met there. What was your major, Robert? So I was not for major, but about, you know, six months into studying music, I was like, this is not going to be a lifestyle. I didn't want the life of an artist. So I like coats. So I also tacked on to that an advertising marketing and communications degree. And they have a

grade school in Syracuse. Right. Right. You were there too? Yes. I was in Syracuse. That's where I met him. I was fresh off the boat from the Middle East.

This accent did not, it was not what you hear when I was 18. Very much like this. Hello. Really? Robert. Oh, love you so much. You're handsome, beautiful. I like you.

It was one of those. Wait. Were you, did you come out yet at that point? So I was in the closet in Saudi Arabia for three years during high school where you know, the penalty is death. It's terrible, it's scary. But I had a good time in Saudi Arabia. No hate for Saudis in Saudi Arabia.

I love Saudi Arabia. Wait, you're not originally. So where were you born? I was born in Dubai. I see. Okay. And then you moved at a later age to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, but I am Lebanese and look at my mug.

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opera singer, where do I go? So I got a scholarship to go to Syracuse University, and I love people who love me and who want me. So I got accepted to other universities, but I was like, Syracuse really wants me. I'm going to go. Yeah. And so you met both opera majors, yeah? Yeah. And how did you connect? Like, what was the connecting threat at that time? Rob, would you like to take over here? Well, you can tell your story, but he was a year older than I was, but we both were kind of into like for both of our scholarships we had to perform in the operas we had to be in the choirs so that's why like the engagement was particularly meaningful because that's kind of like where we all met that's where like our entire group of friends were like that auditorium like we spent nights days weekends you know all kinds of things happened behind those organ pipes so we started kind of i was kind of like the lead tenor he was the lead base and so it just kind of we became friends pretty quickly and you know in college you've got lots of things going on it was kind of friends with benefits here and there and after we graduated we kind of separated he went to los angeles i was in

new york and we stayed in touch i would always go to l a for work and visit and you'd come to new york every now and then you're mostly an l-a guy and then during covid i was like i'm so lonely in new york city it was terrible you remember amanda like it was it was the worst version of new york you could ever possibly imagine everyone was the worst version of themselves everyone was horrible. My building was terrible. Everything was bad. And I was so lonely alone in my apartment.

I said, please, he just broke up with a long, a partner of a long time. And I said, please come, come stay here. I'm dying. Like, I would go to Central Park for like a walk and like be yelled at by seven people. You know, because my dog was wearing a mask. Like, it was ridiculous. Yeah.

And then, you know, we just really enjoyed our time in COVID. Wait, so you came, you came to New York to be with Robert. during COVID? Correct. It's funny because I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this, well, hey, whatever, I'm so bad at this. During season one, like, he was filming season one, we were kind of together, and I'm just like, you're

going on dates now? We weren't dating during season one, and he came in the middle of season one. Like, a move in, if you see him on the boat scene where I'm like, a funeral for my insecurities, which clearly they are alive and well, that he was

like in the background there, which has been a pastime of many commenter on photos, which is funny. Please don't go back to that scene. I'm not. But I just, okay, so the funeral to your insecurities, I mean, I would be literally a dumb ass to be like, Robert, why are you so insecure? Like, why would you be? Like, you're perfect, right?

I get, I get it. I get that, you know, it's an inner thing that people can tell you're beautiful and perfect all day, right? Yeah. But does it help, like, the love that you get from people? does that give like a boost to your confidence like i would say no i mean i was right was not affected by the negativity or any of that i was kind of affected by it just because a lot of it stemmed from people being like oh you know why is robert so insecure that he puts him he's in a situation he doesn't

want to be in and i'm like gosh am i i like to think of myself as a pretty confident person i mean like we all have we've got little things like you know i've never had a great relationship with my body. I've never, you know, loved to be in like super, super social situations. I'm more like a one-on-one kind of girl. But, you know, that I had to kind of stop looking at things for a little bit just because like, you know, it kind of gets in your head. But for the most part, I would say like 98% of the stuff I get is love. Right. So that's my question. Morso, Robert, like did the love boosts your confidence? Did it help you feel more secure and maybe a little bit love yourself more? I'm cynical. So I'm like, it's all fake, you know, it's like, that's, that's here today, gone tomorrow.

Like, you cannot take those comments to the bank, you know, don't, it doesn't count. I don't, yeah, it is weird. People need to know, like, how human nature it is. And we hear, like, huge celebrities say this a lot. But it's like, the one negative comment will be the one that you remember over the thousands, you know. For sure. Like, people can say they love you all day and you're like, great, great, great, great, great, great. You hate me.

like let's let's discuss it's almost like we feel like let's discuss it's almost like we feel like we deserve the love like this makes sense of course you're obsessed oh oh this we need to sleep on so I get it yeah get it but you should I had a whole spiral yesterday because I posted a picture and it was like I was going through the comments which I don't normally do but you know like double tapping and commenting back to people and someone made a comment about my tongue being like, why is your tongue like that? And I'm like, what's wrong with my tongue? No, so you know, I and I'm a pretty unfiltered person on Instagram, but for some reason, like,

whenever celebs post tongue out photos, I examine their tongues. So I can't post like a tongue out photo because I'm like, what does that bump, Amanda? Yeah, I've only just learned this. Like, we have, I am followed by all orthodontists. everyone's got like a tongue medical degree which is great like if I ever have a cavity great wait I need to see yeah you're like you think you look cute and they're like what's that like yeah oh my god

okay so I was wondering and I know this is pretty personal so stop me so in in the show when you guys are discussing your open relationship and and ride is saying how the okay so the open relationship in general just so I make sure we all understand the other stuff you're doing right is only sexual correct

it's that right head how about Rob what did I do you just said the stuff that you are doing right Ed this isn't open for both wait wait but on but on the show Rob was saying that he it's one-sided it is one side I mean I don't

really I don't really do it very often I mean and if I do it's like very random and almost I'm not a sexual person by nature as much as he is. Like, it's just not in my, my nature. So it really is in his nature. I say.

So is that why, okay, Riot, if you had a partner that was more sexual in their nature, would you feel the need less to seek it? You know, that's a very question. I always say it's a case-by-case basis, and the best part about it is the truth of the honesty. I'm not going behind nobody's back. I'm not putting a gun to anybody's head telling them,

hey, listen, date me or be engaged. to me or love me, I'm telling them, this is me, this is what I like, this is what I want, and this is who you know I am for 16 years. And if there's a new relationship or a new dynamic, that is all dependent on how each person wants to make that dynamic their own. As long as there's just honesty and you're just telling that person, making sure you're not hurting that person, that's all that matters, honestly. How much do you want to know, Rob, of what goes down? it's funny because it started when we started dating

it was voyeuristic for me so I would ask what would I call it right but I would say story time or we always called him his dick appointments always we called him his dick appointment he would like for some reason he would not be reachable and so like I'd be like oh he must be on

a dick appointment because usually like all of us like he's like attached to his phone and then I started developing this habit where I would always call him during you know and so you started having this what those like automatic responses

where it's like not available at the moment where all he has to do is like press like one button and I know immediately like you you not only like need a voicemail but I'm getting like the single touch auto response because you're like dig deep in some Chelsea you could you know you could customize an auto one and then be like dick like have it just say dick appointment

the eight times. Thank you so. Thank you. You were like, ooh, this is interesting. This is new. Yeah. So I was like, tell me this story. And so the stories vary because sometimes it's like, oh, it's this really hot guy. Ryan, you should tell these stories.

But it's like, then sometimes it's like, oh, I went over and like they were like shooting up heroin and like I had to get out real quick. You know, like so the stories are not heroin. That's crazy. Sorry. Oh, my God. I'm like, whoa. What's a crazy story? like it wasn't there like one he went over to some guy's house and there was like acrobat equipment wasn't that something

yeah yeah and also i mean the catfishing stories i mean it's crazy like it doesn't yeah i love the catfish story those are crazy wait so a catfish story in case anybody doesn't know is when the the the photo shows like a really hot person and then you get there and it's not that person at all it's not like it was a flattering photo it's actually not that person. Yeah, not that person or they they show the face and everything under that is not that person or it's an old picture when they were 18 and they're actually 65. So it's like. So what do you do when you get there? Are you like, are you like, I hate or? I hate rejecting people. I'm actually like, I hate being rejected and I like hate rejecting people. I just feel bad. I always come up with a stupid excuse. I'm always like, oh, I'm not sure. Or something. Okay. So you don't

Don't follow through. Wait, so you don't follow through if you're not attracted. Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely. I mean, like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't do. An animal. I don't know for a better, better word. I don't want to putty fucks. Yeah. No, that's good. You know, eating habits and, you know, gut health and understanding your body and listening to your body's actual needs and, and eating good things and all that stuff. Take some learning. It's like, you're not born with that. Nobody taught me how to stop eating when I fall. I'm sorry, Mom.

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Okay. Yeah, but probably not as much as right as wants. Amanda, talk to him, Amanda. Sorry, I'm pointing at your window. I've been married for seven years. You think I'm the right person to get Rob like in the mood? I put my Envisaline in and. Amanda, you talked about our sex life.

Tell us about your sex life, Amanda. Are you having sex? That's what I'm telling you. I put my invisible line in. I'm on my phone. And I'm like, oh, you touched me by accident. Like, that's where I'm like, you're, you're, no, I mean, it's, I, I, I give in, I give in, but I call it giving in.

I'm like, oh, fine, it's been a bit. And he won't stop until he gets it. And I feel bad for him. Yeah. I will say, when I do it, I have fun. I do. I swear. And I'm like, oh, why am I so against this?

But I think it's just like, you want to go to sleep. You're not into like, you know, the washing yourself. after and like it's a whole thing that's a thing like even for us it's even more of a thing like it's like a full you have to fully if you're doing the whole thing like there has to be a full preparation moment that can take and like who knows like is the timing right like i'm not that queen too who's like having salad for lunches in anticipation no i've been taco bell it's like it's such a process that's so annoying my invisible line is my LED mask so i'll be like sitting there in bed looking like skeletor and like I'm like get away yeah so I mean that's I get it I get it the

question is what so first of all I didn't want to talk to you about this I don't want anybody to think you know we're stigmatizing but it is kind of a known theme that maybe open relationships are more prominent in the gay community why is that why do you think in general like men that I mean I think men are more open to that and I think, you know, not to not to overgeneralize and not to be like too binary about it. But like sex plays a larger role in the gay relationship. Rotten always argues that like the majority of successful relationships he knows are open. I don't know if that's the case. Like I'm like, show me the data. Like let me see the Nielsen report because that's his experience. It's not my experience. But that was a text from some boy from last week. So, you know,

I think every relationship, what Ryan always says, and I agree, he's like, we're not defined by norms, like, we can have whatever relationship we want to have. And that's also true for me. Like, ultimately, like, we're still having this conversation. How much is too much? Like, you know, when I, like, accidentally meet one of them, like, you know, it's still like, it's an ongoing conversation. But as long as we're being open and honest with each other, that conversation continues. And I'm happy or, you know, like, I'm satisfied. in the relationship and he's satisfied in the relationship, then it's really no harm,

no foul for anyone. Yeah, I think for the audience and for me, it's like, of course, you know, and especially in today's day and age, like everyone's trying to not judge anything, right? We want to accept new ideas. And I think the only struggle for the audience was, okay, cool, do what you want to do,

but are both people in the relationship cool with it? there you go Amanda that's the biggest part that's the biggest because honesty is amazing I love that obviously so much better than cheating it also doesn't lead to cheating right it's not you know I think the only thing is knowing both people are down with it and and I think it seems like Robert is struggling with it just a little bit but you're not are you like is your struggle more like people what you thought was like a perfect relationship or that it actually are you jealous like does it bother you not jealous please someone come over and take i would it's it's more of i would be jealous i would be like i have this idea it's not that it's and it's not even the attention i get like mad is literally when i can't reach him for something like once the hell broke loose when once i think he had taken the the spare key from the apartment oh this was a bad PTSD, don't remind me of that day. I'm sorry, PTSD, sorry, I'm going to bring it up

because it's funny. That's a dumb thing. Sensitive topic. We blew up. They like go up because of this key. Well, I couldn't get into my apartment. And he couldn't be reached because he was, you know, on this DA. Yeah, on this DA.

Anyway, and I'm, I am, I have the smallest views, as Rodet will attest. Like, I have zero patients. Like, I feel like everyone has this very, I think I, I don't know that. I'm not saying I get good. edits, but like I have a lot of flaws like personally and like have a lot of people

you shouldn't change that face a lot of people that was to riot not to Amanda Amanda change that face no Amanda's serving face what was I saying before Oh that you're saying like it's not like you're getting

a good edit but you're trying to say that you are flawed and maybe that we're not seeing like you blow up and Oh, yeah. I'm a hard person to live with. Like, I have very high expectations. I have a lot of anxiety. I have a short fuse. I can be very condescending. So, you know, I'm not an angel in any way, shape or form. And a lot of people like that commented on a relationship was like, what is Rob getting out of the relationship? Well, I mean, I think the biggest thing that I get out of it is that right is just always there, always a support, like never a detraction. He's never taken. away he always adds he always says like what's the he turns rooms green like he'll come into a room my room is always red always i'm i'm i'm in amsterdam at the red light district like always negative and ride comes into the room and turns it green whether it's through humor or being dumb or just like letting me yell at him and like make fun of him because that's like my

favorite pastime he likes it if it's good comedy he's into it at my expense i don't mind that's what I noticed right away, you know, on the show, like from the first scene, I think that we were introduced to you as like, you know, the heart family has a lot going for them. But, you know, the fun I feel like was brought by you to. And Ride, you added so much this season. And I, I wanted to ask about that. I wanted to ask about those relationships because, you know, you had to be accepted by your own family. Rob's family is, by the way, did Rob's mom? come, come, come around to you. And Robin's mom and I, we love each other. She loves me. I love her. I'm obsessed with how beautiful she is. She's a queen, diva.

And any, like, powerful, strong woman that knows how to dress and just loves fashion. I'm obsessed with her. Wait, her name is Mitzie, right? Yes. Is she Jewish? No. No. You know that it's like a, I don't know if it's a Jewish name or like a Yiddish, but it has.

I think a Yiddish. So is that just random? So random. And she tells it like my titsy, but it's so weird. She spells it M-I-T-I-Z-I. It's so fun. Your family is so fun. And Ross, what about Ross, right? Do you guys get along?

I got along with Ross more than Rob gets along with Ross. Seriously. Yeah, he seems just so fun. So aside from that family, you also had to be kind of accepted and hang out a lot with, especially with filming, the with the heart family.

Yeah, but babe, what you don't understand is that I've known Rob and his family for 16 years. Right. They all know me.

They all know who I am, what I am, what I represent. They, we're loyal to each other. We're obsessed with each other. Been at Christmases, they've been in my place.

Rob has come to Lebanon. I mean, it's, people are like, right, it is there for the Netflix show. Babe, I've been there for 16 years

and Rob's like behind. No, but I'm not even talking about that anymore. Ride, we've moved on. Don't be, don't, don't, don't don't,

don't get defensive on me. I'm talking about the... He's like, I'm not there for the show. I'm like, I... You just said that like, if the family loves you, the family loves you? Oh, yeah, no, the family loves you. I'm talking about the heart family

and how you had to kind of... Yeah, oh my God. See, you say you're not bothered. Be careful what you say, Adam. Amanda, I'll come for you. So, because I know that Rob, you know, the heart family is like his family, right? And he's like, deals with the girls and with Julia and everything. And then you being Rob's partner now and fiance, like, you have to

take on this other family. Like, did you get along with everybody right away? I know that Bacheva seemed to, you know, have some, some issues. Is that resolved? Like, how are you thinking? You're really hitting the hard questions here, Amanda. You want to get something out of me. You're getting it out of me. I hate them all. They all stuck. No, I'm kidding. I absolutely fell in love with the family the second I met them. And it was obvious. I mean, honestly, like, they welcomed me into their family instantly. The level of how, like, loving and generous they were with me and how much they wanted me around and how much they wanted to party with me. And then Julia and I had this connection. Like, every time we'd go out, would be the ones who were dancing instantly,

the first ones, and bring the entire crowd dancing. And then it's just that energy, you know? I just feel like they're my cousins. I feel like they're part of my family. I instantly felt that. And Rob and I weren't really dating in the beginning when we first met. I was just like Rob's best friend from college who came from decided to quarantine with him. Then that happened. But then But then Bachev and I love Batchewa, of course.

But then she just, I don't like people who are not obsessed with me. So Batchewa just is like, right? Why we're dating? I have no idea. I get it. I get it. You're like, like me more. Like, what's the most fun here?

Yeah. Yeah. And then Bacheva's just like, you're, you know, you're old and too liberal. I mean, I mean, maybe, I don't know. Now she's like, I think really. She lightened up a bit. Maybe she lightened up a bit, though. Yeah.

But I just feel like I'm not her type, you know? I'm just too much. I'm too crazy. I'm too. And she's very like reserved and a very classy lady. And I think she's gorgeous and beautiful. But she just. Are you too much for her, Rob?

Like, are you the right amount? No. No, I'm, I'm, Bachev. and I are the most similar. Oh, really? We're both kind of cynical and, quiet and reserved when, you know, she finds her moments.

Like, if you watch her with her group of friends, like, she's kind of the life of the party. I think what Brad's saying is true. Like, he's just a lot for her. And he comes on, he comes on very strong. I come on like this, like with my arms crossed and mad about, you know, the world. And Bachev is like, ooh, I like that, you know?

I like that. People always ask me like, Amanda, do you still use Dine Beauty? Do you still love Dian Beauty? If you guys remember, I was obsessed. Dime was sort of my introductory line into skincare. I was a late bloomer in skincare. I used to literally use body moisturizer on my face. And Dime was the first real line of skincare that I've ever really used, like the full set from the cleanser, the hyluronic acid, vitamin C serum, day cream. night cream, and they've went on to expand their line even further in a time that I have used them. So I highly recommend I am still. They have clean ingredients. They're vegan cruelty-free, no harsh chemicals. The products are actually ranked between a one and three on the UWG toxicity scale, which is amazing. There is free shipping in the U.S. orders over $75. It's fragrance-free products. Okay. So no fragrance. Some people find it harmful to their skin and it could clog your pores. It is definitely budget friendly. So that's really amazing for everybody involved. And it has

chic packaging. It's like black mat, very cute. It's glass and it makes it eco-friendly. They do have an amazing return policy up to 60 days. So you can use code not skinny 20 at checkout for 20% off your entire order at Dime Beauty. Use code not skinny. at Dime Beauty for 20% off your entire order. Tell me about the proposal, right? How did you decide? I feel like on the show it came out of nowhere. I'm sure that for you,

like you were thinking about it a lot. Was this a way for you to show Robert that you're like committed to him? Tell me about that. First of all, give me props because I'm a badass, right? I know you are. Oh my God.

I feel like he's mad at me. I'm giving you props. It was so good. It was so emotional. like me and my sister both were like watching and we were like oh like it was such a even I feel like anybody that was even cynical about you there was no taking away from that moment and I think that's what's important you know like that was your engagement you want to remember it in the most romantic way and there was nothing it was perfect like and I think that all the audience felt it no matter whatever people you know previously thought honestly honestly like thinking about the moment I'm probably going to tear up again So we're not going to go there. But yeah, he's not emotional whatsoever. That's the difference between Rob and I.

It's like I'd be like explosively emotional. I hold my heart on my like sleeve or shoulder, whatever that's saying it. And the Rob is the opposite. But then for me, for that day, just to see like, just to see how much Rob was vulnerable in that day. And also we know we love each other so much. Like even before any, before 2020 start, before the pandemic, everyone was like, are you married to Rob yet it's like one of those relationships they were like all our friends would like Kate Harlines would text me should be like did you and Rob get married yet I'm like no but

everybody thought you would end up together like that was the vibe it was always I mean we were in love we are in love we were in love before but like we were too I don't know like scared to admit it I feel and now we're 35 year old we're like I don't want to be separated from you I like leave my job to hang out with Rob. I like even my ex-boyfriend, I was just like, Rob's in town. Nobody talked to me. This is Rob moment.

Like, I would leave everything just to be with Rob all the time. I'd pick him up, drive him everywhere. I'd just be with him and we just laugh and sing in the car. I'm just like, I want that for the rest of my life. It's cute because you are like best friends, like first and foremost. And that's what everybody always, you know, says about relationships. Like that's what stays forever.

Like sex aside, everything aside. you need that friendship and that you guys totally have. Robert, were you actually surprised by the engagement? I was 100% surprised. I also, you know, like also when I kind of, I didn't watch the full series back, but like I did go back and watch that scene, obviously because it's an important to us.

And it does kind of feel like it came out of nowhere. And in a way, like we've always talked about it. What was great about it for me is we were going through hell. Like I went, I could barely sleep. like the reality you don't really see as much i mean it was a really scary moment i didn't know what was happening and at that time it was like lawsuit lawsuit you know everything was job life and then to have this moment that was a all about me and be something very positive

in her moment i mean i got really emotional because it was like the first like good thing that had happened in like three months you know i mean i had fun like don't get me wrong it wasn't like, you know, rolling around in a ditch, sorry about my life, but it was a bad, it was a difficult time. And this was like a little moment of light. And it was meaningful, too, because it was in a place where we both loved with, surrounded by people who we love. And that was like, it kind of almost was the, it was the turning moment for me, like getting out of the fray of all of the the drama that was going down and starting to like rethink my projectory, start to think about what am I going to do for the rest of my life?

And, you know, it was good. It took me out of the moment. So are you planning a wedding? Is there going to be a wedding? There is going to be a wedding. I don't know. We're having fights over lots of fights. Lots of fights.

Over what you want? Yeah, which is baffling to me because I think of the two of us, I'm the one with all the taste. I mean, I mean, I mean, Robert has a lot of tased. It is true. That's why I love them, Amanda. Okay.

Rodman wants everything spackled in gold. And I'm just like, we're, it's, he wants a full-blown Lebanese wedding. They love it. I just want to, like, escape to Turks and Caicos and, like, do something on the beach with, like, three people there. But, you know, it's part of their culture. But we were having a lot of arguments about what it is venue. who's allowed to come because right like wants to invite everyone i want to invite no one oh my god so are you like can my brothers come i'm like which one

wait so do you think that's going to like make you kind of stop and be like oh let's revisit this or are you going to trench through it i think what part of it will be when we ultimately decide to do it i mean right now i'm not like picking a date because I'm still trying to, like, get my, like, my life situated. Like, I'm buying a business. I'm trying to invest in certain things. So we're kind of waiting to see. It'll probably be not this coming summer, but maybe the fall after.

We're still debating on that. But I want to be set personally because I'm kind of wheels up at the moment, trying to, like, sort through and, like, define, okay, this is my strategy for the next thing. Right. Are you still at that job that you got on the show? No, no more. Now I'm actually, I have a very big meeting today for a possible project that's really fun that I can't really talk about. I'll let you know if it goes well today and I'll text you and you can just tell you.

Oh my God. Yes. Well, we're crossing our fingers for that. I'm praying. I'm praying for you. Okay, just to discuss this for a moment. So on the show, we saw the elite world group situation fall apart. Where is it standing?

So you were the C-O. That's right. And now you're, we found out on the show. So you were fired along with Julia and a bunch of other people. Tootoo, Mr. Magoo. So that was real. Like you actually in those moments found out the job that you had, you know, you're right. We didn't really see on the show.

I remember there were moments where I was like, is this like, because I feel like we, we saw facial expressions, not in the moments where the stuff was actually happening. So at moments, I was like, wait, this is really serious and it doesn't look like. like that serious. But people just got like lost their lives. Yeah. I mean, it's also like, can you imagine filming during that? I mean, we started filming week one week one. It was like happy go lucky. The world was our oyster. You know, you saw Julia and Sylvia and Silvio, they were, they were filming together. And then never did I expect, you know, three weeks into. How do you explain that though? Like how do you explain that flip? Like how do we explain it to the audience on like, people that are like, wait, how did it go from A to Z? Does anybody know?

Honestly, I have no idea. And like, I don't really want to like talk about, talk about it. I mean, for me, it's like, I was, I was laser focused as you see on the show about like what was happening to me. And I like, I knew it was I said, I think I said on the show like divorces can be really scary and really bad. And it just depends on, you know, what track it goes. So, you know, did you like Sylvia as Julia's husband? And I was like, did you, were you got along with him? Did you like him? Yeah, I got along fine with them. It was, you know, we had a business relationship.

And I did go on vacations with them. And so we would spend some time personally. But obviously, we didn't have a lot in common when, you know, so I, you know, I'm a 30 year old gay guy and he's a, you know, I don't know how old he is. But, you know, we didn't have a ton in common. So we never had like the same bond that I have with Julia, obviously. But I never had an issue with him. So did it feel unexpected, like everything that went on in the show?

Well, it was unexpected. Like, every, every moment was unexpected. And so then on top of that, you know, to be filming and thinking like, you know, everyone's going to see this. So how to how, how, I can't even really. I mean, I was, I was trying to be true to my feelings, but also like, you know, it's a, it's a devastating thing to lose a job, period. Yeah.

And then to do so in such kind of extreme circumstances and then being filmed. that's tough and so for me it was I tried to have a brave face I tried to think of other things thank god I had right it because like like that the you there's a scene in the show that's very meaningful to me it's when I was sitting on a in the back room I had to like leave like there was like her office was like the situation room and I just went to the back to just like get out of it like leave it for a second and riot had just come and he said something that was like he was like this isn't about you And he said it in a really nice way. And that was probably,

I don't remember if that was day one, two or three or four when it was. But it was just like, you're right. This is not about me. It's not about my performance. It's not about my expertise, my knowledge, or my ability. And so that helped to put a lot of the drama in context. But it still really sucked. And at that time when all the firing was happening, like you were the CIO,

Julia was upset with a lot of people. She was upset with Vacheva a little bit. She was expecting a lot. The expectations were high. And surprisingly, she said to you that you're not meeting them. Were you and you're, I kind of liked your response. You were like, are you serious? Like, you're like, what?

Like, I'm literally here. I think that's the first time we saw kind of you and Julia even have any, like, disagreement or do you feel looking back like you weren't there for her? I think there are things If I put myself in her shoes I mean her loss was much more devastating than my loss But you know I'm a I'm my own human I have my own selfish needs and desires

And you know I was like Where's the next Valencia I got the board And where's the next Be careful be careful Like where's the next coat? You know I was focused on you know we have I have a home and the apartments and dogs and everything so looking back and and i think i said this on the show i could have been more

i could have done more like just if you know she calling every you know she she needed support and i i tried to be there as much as i could be but still also be self-medicate myself yeah you know and tend to be the needs and well as as you should because you also lost something but you were CEO now you're kind of working on it sounds like entrepreneurial things you could yeah do not want to work for another like corporation like as kind of what you were doing you want to be your own man i've talked i've had conversations with people and i just feel like i'm 35 years old i have more experience than most 35 year old i've you know i've worked at tiny companies and big companies i have overseen, you know, big budgets, small budgets. I've done. And I just think if I'm ever going to do

something for myself, it's now. And, but that doesn't preclude me from, from doing other things. Like, I'm absolutely, I'm still working with Julia on. Is hearts fear happening? Heart, heart sphere, I think, is on hold until like the, until a lot of the stuff happens. But plus body is absolutely still happening. But the shapeware company, that's, that's going to happen probably in the, in the next few months. But we're working on on the launch for that. But I think hearts. sphere is maybe more of a long-term thing. There's a lot of the technology that was developed, you know, and that exists that was kind of part of the heart sphere concept that will apply to Plus Body. Wait, are we supposed to know about Plus Body? Was it talked about in the show?

I don't recall. It was talked about in the first season, I think. She was developing the shapeware brand. And we kind of put it on hold the minute the divorce happened. And so now we've started to kind of pick that up. So that's one project I'm working with her on. You know, I don't have any experience or expertise in like meta or I don't know what it is riot do you know what metaverse is it's a place where you go where you don't have to go anywhere all I know is Cheryl Sandberg ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming to her 10 talk no I was like oh my god I don't is it like the world of like crypto no well I think no oh my god see both of us we don't know it's like a world where you can actually go i'm thinking virtual reality

like have you ever seen those virtual reality like walk into spaces and like meet with people shop online but you're actually at home that's what i meant by like you can go wherever you want but you're not going anywhere you're at home basically going i feel like it's like a different dimension it's like an online dimension that you can travel he's literally shaking his head at us right now robert we're he's Googling it that's what he's doing he's Googling Metaverse is a I I remember as we were like we were to

at elite we did some work and kind of building out avatars and metaverse stuff and you know I had I did that that was some experience but I'm not sure I'm not sure that's the best project for my my skills and expertise the shapeware that's right in my my wheelhouse and some of the other stuff I'm doing now like this business I just lost this morning would have been perfect but on to the neck you know on to the what what's yours will be yours amen that's what i that's what i

was saying to myself as i was pouring the titos into my route 44 diet dr pepper easy on the eye did you really though are you lying or is there really teato oh my god i love you no i'm dying right do you try to get him to be healthier sometimes or no all the time he doesn't listen he's very stubborn as you can tell he thinks he knows everything like he thinks he was born with all With a tahine on the popcorn, please. Every day, I'm like, I'm like Diet Coke in the morning, babe. In the morning. Pre-working pre-workout.

So, like, no, thank you. But you know what? Like, this might be wrong. But in this world of, like, you know, everyone being clean and green and organic and healthy, it's just refreshing. I'm not saying it's good for you. I'm saying it's refreshing, a little refreshing. but you know balance and moderation is everything so before we go the living situation right now

right are you currently is that your apartment where you're situated that is a temporary thing this is like i've rented it for one month actually we still have decided where we're going to be in february march we still are like yeah we're trying to decide what do you mean where what are the options plus i'm i'm trying to convince rodd to move back to l.a because i think i want to be in the sunshine but his It's an opportunity for him is New York. Oh, okay. So we need to see if this opportunity happens.

And you have your house in the snow in Connecticut. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's so beautiful. Connecticut, I just sold, actually. I just sold Connecticut. So. Oh, okay.

I need the money to put in the business. Yeah. But I did, well, I made a little bit of money. We would have invited you out, Amanda. I know. I was kind of, I was kind of like getting there. I was like, hey, work my way up to get invited to the Connecticut house. It's like I air B&B.

I like I love that. It would be my pleasure to give you a staff infection in my hot tub. But Natalie is old. Wait, so you're trying to convince Riot to move back to L.A. so you can be bicostal? Well, no, I want to be in L.A., I think. I don't think I want to be in New York. I'm just, I'm, you know, it's like the dream of every New Yorker to move to L.A.

Same. Do you think I don't think of it? Come on. I mean, every time I least expires, I'm like, but I might move to L. And you're like, but are, like, are you making this up? And Rodd owns a house in L.A. So I'm like, why are we, why are we not there? Yeah, can we go to my house?

I own the most beautiful little single family home house. I want to live with Robert and Richard there for the rest of my life and probably be buried in the backyard. Yeah. So, Red, how was it moving to New York? I mean, I can't believe you came. That is true love. You came to New York during COVID, the worst time. And you've stayed for Robert, I'm assuming.

You don't miss it. You don't miss the sunshine? I actually I'm very scared of earthquakes It's so worried It is where people Really? Girl, I went

He is a ghost You should see him on an airplane Oh my Lord You both are so entertaining Thank you so much for coming on my show And sharing your life With us We hope to see you next season

I can't wait to see your gold wedding on a beach You're invited by the way Get ready That's what I'm saying If you're going to invite his brother then invite me to done okay done okay guys well thank you so much everybody go make sure you're following robert brotherton and ride sadee perfect thank you so much i hope everything works out we're rooting for you thanks babe la chay love you thank you i'm madame

lehime guys thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of not skinny but not fat follow me on instagram at no skinny but And I'm fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening. And I'll see you next Tuesday. may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.