Not Skinny But Not Fat - POSTPARTUM, TELL ME LIES RECAP, DIDDY, AND LOSING LIAM PAYNE

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

We have so much to catch up on! On today’s solo episode (long overdue!!) I dive into how I’m dealing with postpartum, recap the Tell Me Lies finale, discuss the Diddy Scandal, and can’t fathom Liam Payne’s tragic passing.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hi, guys. I feel like I haven't done a solo pod in such a long time. So here I am today. Just me in my office that Lenny took over. Yeah, it's, it's, listen, living in New York City. I live in a three bedroom and that's like a luxury. You know, it's, it's hard to find a three bedroom. And one of my bedrooms was my office for the longest. time. And then when I was pregnant, I was like, okay, well, Lenny will be with Noah because I think it's good for brothers to be together. And almost everyone I know is like, yeah, kids would be together in the room. Even if they have like another room in the house, they usually like to put siblings together. Like, it's good for them. So I was like, yeah, but I didn't take

into consideration. Okay, Lenny's a baby. He's going to be crying. We don't want him waking Noah up. They go to sleep at different times. Like, it's just not there yet, you know. So for the time being, I needed to set up a little station for him. So he has his own space. I know babies are technically supposed to be with the parents in the bedroom, I think, for the first however long. Something wasn't, I am the most, like, you know, breastfeeding, sleep with me, mom ever. With Lenny, something wasn't working. Like, I just felt like him sleeping in our room was not allowing him.

him to sleep well, was not allowing me to sleep well. I'm like, I need him in the next, in the next room. Like, I'm going to keep the, keep the nannid open, hear him all night, but like, something wasn't working with him being on top of me. And it's just like what they say, like every kid is different. Every experience with every kid is different. And it's so true. And it's actually, it's kind of crazy because, you know, with Noah, I was exclusively breastfeeding for literally two and a half years. And then with Lenny, I knew I wouldn't do the same exact thing. But it's, it's been different because once you're not exclusively breastfeeding and you're doing breastfeeding and pumped milk, then your kid isn't a boob kid. Like Noah was a straight up

boob kid. Like boob made everything better. You know, he was sick, boob. He was tired boob. He was overtired boob. He was under tired boob. He was anything. You could shove the boob and that's all it took. No, it didn't take even a pacifier, nevertheless, a bottle in his life, okay? And then here is baby Lenny, who I said from the beginning, he's going to also get bottles. I need to make sure that I can go somewhere. If I need to go somewhere, I need to make sure that someone else can put him to sleep, that someone else can wake up to him at night that, you know, just you need to. So he's not a boob kit.

Like, he'll take the boob, but he's not like, so sometimes he'll, like, prefer a bottle to get a really good feed. and I have to do what's right for him. I'm not going to shove the boob if he can gulp, gulp, gulp. I'm like, as long as he's getting my milk, which I know is good, I'm good. Also, then I started being fearful. If he's taking bottles more than he's taking boob, then I need to make sure that I always have enough of my milk,

which God only knows, like, if my supply will be down, if I'll be away for an extra hour and someone else needs to give him a bottle. So then I was like, he needs to also be able to take formula. which to me, and this is a very personal thing, you can blame my mom. Formula is literally like a bad word in the way we grew up. My mom would want us breastfeeding for 25 years. You know her.

That's just her vibe. But as you guys know, since I knew I would want Lenny to take bottles, to be able to stay not just with me, then I had in mind like, okay, he might need to take some formula. So I had formula lined up. And then one day when my milk was low and he was given formula, he didn't want it. And I was like, fuck, damn these babies. You have to really get them used to anything before you do it.

You can't just spring it on them. Okay. So I was like, okay, let me start giving him a little bit of formula every day. So he gets used to it. So but then I do have that guilt, which I mean, we all know mom guilt is real of like, oh my God, like he's growing up so different from Noah. And not to say that one is good and one is bad. but, you know, your baby being on your tit all day does seem more of the romanticized version

of having a kid. Like, they're attached to you all day. They need you in your body to survive. So I am happy. Like, I look at it. Like, I did that once and it was such a special thing. And I was able to do that because of time. Like, first of all, I didn't have a toddler running around.

Second of all, I didn't have the business that I have today. thirdly it was COVID that's why I tell today I'm like wait you're saying I just gave it my boobs so like what if I was away for more than an hour and it's like you weren't and I was like I literally wasn't that's actually crazy so so I really do kind of like a self-talk and and try to make myself just realize like Lenny can have the same exact experience as Noah you can have the same exact experience with him as you did with Noah. It's different, so it's all different

and that everything's okay. But yeah, but it's wild. It's wild. He's already over four months. It's like, I'm sure parents know this. What do they say? The days are short. The days are long.

The days are long and the years are short, meaning, you know, it flies by. I'm like, how is Noah four? How is Lenny four months? But every day I'm like, one is bedtime. No, I honestly thought today, like, we need to give more props to parents that had kids at home during COVID, not babies, like, Noah was a baby, but like kids that should be in school, that should be socializing, that should be learning in a classroom. Like, I just want to give a shout out to parents that to school their kids at home during COVID.

Because like, listen, Noah goes to a Jewish school, so we have a lot of days off. Like every Jewish holiday, they take like two weeks. weeks. God bless them. Hashan bless them. So, and it's not like I'm like, no, I get away for me. It's more like, what is he to do? Like, how many activities can I think of? How many days can I, you know, on the weekend you try to do stuff. But now it's like weeks, like even that time between like camp ending and school starting and just like so much. I'm like, my mom, literally I'm like, mom, what did we do when I was younger? Like, what do we do on weekends? And she'll be like, we went to Bloomingdale's, like we went to drop off dry cleaning.

I'm like, oh, so I was just like accompanying you on your errands sweet. Noah would never. You know, and that just is another part of like parenting today being different than parenting then. It's like, then it was like, get in the car. We're going like, you know, food shopping.

And that was my fucking outing. And today it's like, what are we going to do for Noah? Like pumpkin patch, apple picking. Normalize hating that shit. Okay. Again, I'm not saying I hate despair. spend time with my kid. You guys know that's not true. And parents who relate to this,

you know that's not true about you. I don't like looking at pumpkins in a field. I don't like picking apples from a tree. Like, it's just not fun for me. And like, how much do I have to sacrifice that I have to do these activities that aren't fun for me? But the thing is, you do them for your kid because you want your kid to have fun. You also do them because I know that if I took note of Bloomingdale, he would literally turn it upside down. But it's funny because I posted about like the apple picking and something about it and people were like, you know, not everybody agreed. But you know who did agree? Maybe if I had Ryan Reynolds because he then like a couple weeks later posted something about pumpkin patches.

And he was like, that's where Joey goes to die. And I'm like, oh, my God, we're a twin lame. And then I was like, oh, my God, Ryan, same zies. And then he said another funny thing. He was like, it's an outdoor root canal. And I was like, oh, my head, you're so funny. We have the same thoughts. But seriously.

So don't feel like if you hate that stuff, you're a bad person or a bad mom because God knows we are great. Okay. But it's like, you're not born liking that shit, you know? Like, it's like, am I, when I go to an indoor play gym, like, I want to die. And luckily, like, husband is fine with them. Like, he specifically doesn't hate them. Like, he'll, like, crawl in the thing.

Like for me, that's like I start sweating. Like, I'm not okay. I'm not okay. So it is hard. It is hard to keep your kids active and doing stuff. And they require so much stimulation today. It's like, you need to be okay with being bored. How do you teach that?

You're like, sit here bored. And also the gentle parenting. It's like, it's so, such a new thing. And I was influenced by like my sister and seeing other people like, you can't yell and you can't this and you can't that. Like, we all know we were yelled at when. We were kids. We all know we were punished. I don't know about you.

My mom scared the shit out of me. My mom used to run after me. And I used to be like, like, and she's amazing. It was the best mom ever. She scared me. I don't scare Noah. I don't scare Noah.

It's a problem. I think we need to be a little bit scared of our parents. And our husbands needs to be a little bit scared of us. No, just me. Keep it a little. But it's weird because postpartum-wise, four months in a lot of times people don't give a shit. A lot of times people like,

you guys know I started working out. I know gross. You know, my Pilates trainer, she'll be like, oh my God, I forget that you're like, you know, your postpartum. I should go easier on you. Like, you just gave birth. Like, and I'm like, I'm good. Like, so it is kind of wild. Like, I'd love to take in the pity and everyone be like, postpartum. I am. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like, I need to be honest with myself and say like, I feel okay. I feel okay. I'd love more sleep. We'll get into the sleep in a minute. But in terms of, like, my body and everything, like inside, not outside, it's a different, different ballgame. Inside, I feel okay. Like, I don't feel like I just was pregnant for a year, shoved a baby out, like, went through all that. I feel okay. My body feels okay.

So it feels good to feel okay, you know, because I'll see people and they're like, how are you doing? And I'm like, I'm okay. Like, is that allowed to say? Like, I'm okay. So I get, asked a lot, like, Amanda, what's harder, zero to one or one to two? And I will say zero to one. And I think it makes sense if you think about it because zero to one, you don't have a baby before. So you're like living, what did we do, you guys? People with kids that didn't have kids before. What did we do? Wake up whenever, decide where we're going to brunch, like nap. Like, it's wild. I'm like, I must have been so bored. I must have been so bored. Because with kids, you're forced to do. you know what was i doing i just don't fucking know we'll be right back after the break so i do love

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I wasn't being negative. I was being positive. I was like, I have a feeling he's a chill, baby. And then, lo and behold, well, no, lo and behold, actually at the beginning, he was sleeping okay. It was like, he was waking up, like, twice a night. I was like, I'll take it. I'll take it.

And then he started rolling. He started rolling that paired with the four-month sleep regression. That paired with the four-month leap. By the way, download Wonder Weeks app. If you don't have it, it'll tell you until you have 1,000 days left of the fussy phase. And he's like, I feel like he's been teething since he was born. So there, listen, two wakes up, I'll fucking take. Not sleeping at all, which is what it feels like on those nights.

you don't even note it in your app because you're like up every second. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And also, it's really triggering, even the sentence, like, sleeps through the night. You'll see other moms. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to start lying. By the way, this is what I started to do when I was so frustrated. I knew that I would see, like, a mom that just had a baby, like, around the same time as me.

And I'd be like, and I knew they would be like, so how is he sleeping? Is he sleeping through the night? I hate that fucking question. Trigger. So I decided I'm just going to lie. I'm just going to lie so we don't have to get into it. I don't have to hear a great year baby sleeps, you know? So I'd be like, yeah, you know, like mostly, maybe wakes up, like not even for sure.

And it made me feel better because then I didn't have to hear how your baby slept there the night. And then I didn't ask you back. So if I didn't ask you back, no, I didn't ask you back. And even if you then share, they felt like they had to kind of be in the same page as me. They would be like, oh, yeah, same here. that changed my life. So lie. That's one. Secondly, it did. It makes you really feel bad when you hear like every baby sleeps through the night, just your baby. But then I would do this like self talk, which really helps me, which is like, no, not every baby sleeps of the night since they're born. Hence, there are thousands of sleep trainers, thousands of sleep training courses and things and people talking about losing sleep with babies. If every motherfucking baby slept through the night since they were born, those things wouldn't exist. Nobody would talk about being tired with kids. Like, no. Also, because Noah goes to, like, a private school, a private Jewish school, you know, everybody has like night nurses, day nurses, all this shit. And it's like they don't see the baby, which is like good for them. I see the baby. So it's like, oh, you don't see. Oh, you don't see. Oh, you don't see your baby. That's cool. That's what I've been, I've been saying, like, it's so wild how it's like a flex to not see your baby because you have a baby nurse. Even though if I have a third. kid, mark my fucking words.

I am motherfucking drying my breast milk in the hospital with cabbage leaves and getting a baby nurse for motherfucking six months. Like, mark my words. It's kind of like, the analogy for me is like when people do like water births, I'm like, what are you trying to prove? Sometimes to me to me, I'm like, what are you trying to prove? Like, what are you trying to prove? Take the help, like, do the thing.

Anyway, lots of thoughts going on. So basically, don't believe what you hear. Not every fucking baby sleeps with the night or else there wouldn't be sleeping. coaches, baby nurses, sleep night nurses, all these things, because every baby would just be like, great, ma'am. Also, because I give breast milk, it is kind of widely, no, not like, I'm not sure what was, like, scientifically proven, but that breast fed babies, breast milk fed babies as well, like, don't sleep as well as formula fed babies. And this is my, like, anti-formula talk also, because I'll see babies, like, being, like, shoved formula,

their host tongues are, like, white, like, coming out of hand. because the parents are like, she needs some motherfucking get 10 ounces of formula so she will sleep through the night. So I'm like, why don't I have formula down in his face? But then even when I started like supplementing with formula, I'm like, it's not taking. I was like, oh no, but he needs to eat like the whole day

that you need to pound that. You need to pound that cement. Anyway, so that's why I was feeling like, hey, everyone's drinking thousands of formula and sleeping the night. But I knew help was near. Luckily, this woman, Chrissy, she's from the peaceful sleep. where she helped me with Noah at the beginning.

It was a little bit later. I didn't get as frustrated as quickly. But basically, so a lot of sleep training methods, people wanted me to talk about sleep training, so I am start later like five months, but that's because people, that includes dropping the night feeds and like letting them not eat all night.

I'm not stressed about that. He can still wake up once eat, twice eat. I'm good. So that's why this is okay to start at his age. I will say this. I don't know if you know this. Every sleep training program involves them crying. The original one is by a doctor Ferber back in like the 80s where that was the original CIO, aka cry it out.

And that was this doctor saying, leave your baby crying at 7 p.m. Put him in his crib. Let him cry all night unless he vomits and chokes on his vomit and open the door at 7 in the morning. Boom, butabam. Now, people still do that and it works. I feel like I need a gentler method. So I spoke to the peaceful sleeper and she kind of got me back into the groove

of what we did with Noah. And basically, I wanted a more gentle method of he can wake up a couple times a night. I just can't have him waking up every hour and I want him to learn some independent sleeping, meaning I'm not like, like I couldn't. I was shushing at the supermarket.

I was just shushing. I wanted to. Do you ever want to like make a little? a reel, but you're too lazy to make a reel. And you're like, someone else should make this real. Because I had an idea of a reel where you're like shishing the baby and you keep shushing when you're like walking out and you keep shushing when you're closing the door. And then you keep shishing in your house and then you keep shishing down the elevator.

Maybe I'll make it one day. So I just wanted to be able to like, what are those fantasies, fables of moms putting the kid in the crib and being like, good night and leaving in the kid. It's just like, I just have never. But you know, there is the flip side of this. Noah is now four and to put him to bed, we lay in bed with him for a few minutes. He's out and we see him the next morning.

Max, he'll run to our bed. You'll hear his little footsteps and he'll join us in bed. All of that's so cute. Like sleep really doesn't become an issue at some point. And my annoying mom will say this. This is not forever. I know it's not forever, but four years is a lot to wait for some good sleep.

Anyway, you know, so that's on one hand. You could also not do nothing, suffer for four years. It'll work itself out. Also know this, that if you do sleep train, sometimes you have to keep reminding these kids. Like, they motherfucking forget, okay? Like, they get sick. You kind of cuddle them more.

You're not going to let them just be in the crib. You fuck it up. Regressions, you fuck it up. Traveling, you fuck it up. So sleep is always a motherfucking issue. Okay? I really like Chrissy's approach, the peaceful sleeper, because like I said,

he can still eat in the night if he needs to. I can actually pick him up when he's crying and console him. But there is crying, right? I'm not going to, like, give away her method for free here. I feel like that's not cool. But it's basically there's always going to be some crying and some minutes we're going to let them kind of try to figure it out. But I like that there is like a time limit on that.

And then I would go in. And a lot of other methods, it's like, okay, but don't pick them up. Don't touch them. Don't make eye contact. And it's like, no, pick him up, calm him down. put him back. So I like that method. We're almost a weekend.

I haven't shared too much about it because it's like the sleep gods. They love to motherfucking jinx you. You know, the minute you get fucking excited, you know, you are jinxed. So I'm just going to say

there have been some good days and there have been some not as good days. Last night, specifically as I'm recording this pod, he slept at the night for the first time, which is like, I know triggering.

But he did and it's really exciting. when they do it on their own and they've worked hard for it. Like, he's been trying to figure it out for a while. Also, speaking of babies and speaking of the fact that we're here in my office, that it now has a crib and a changing table in it, is the fact that is my apartment becoming too small for my family? So technically, I feel like three bedrooms for two kids and two adults should be enough. And my apartment is a pretty nice size.

But at the same time, like, I am an apartment. and I get a lot of shit and I do need a space to like have meetings, record podcasts, like do work and I am so triggered by hearing my monitor. Okay. So I'll put on my monitor for the nannit for Lenny and I'll hear like husband opening a drawer in the kitchen and I'm like, why is it begging a monet? Like that could kill me. However, when I posted about this, some of you that live in like houses were like, no, it picks

up in the house. So that's a deal baker for me. I guess I need like seven stories. But here's the thing. I love living in the city. I love going downstairs and having a dry cleaner here, you know, a CVS here, Chinese food here, my brow lady here, my nail person here.

Like, I love walking, no way to school. Like, we have a car. Everyone always is wondering. We have a car in the city. We have parking in our building. So we're in a really comfortable situation. I'm just like, I feel like I always need more space. But like more spaces.

I mean, I want to move to a house and a house. I don't know why they made it this way doesn't exist in New York City a house is only if you move out of the city aka New Jersey now no hate to New Jersey but that's a different state I need to be in the city

for like podcast recordings and stuff like also here's the thing about me I don't like commuting so I would really not be happy if I had to commute from New Jersey a few times a week and like sit in the car for hours so it's a problem

it's a problem because there are some days where I'm like I'm gonna say in this apartment forever. But some days I'm like, no, we're growing, we're growing out of it slowly but surely. So it's really hard because finding a four bedroom in New York City is like almost impossible. And that's why you hear of people, oh, you're moving to the suburbs because there comes a point where it's like, oh, you can't live in the city anymore, right? You have to move to the suburbs. So I'm trying

to prove everyone wrong and I'm trying to stay in the city. But we'll see because there are days where I'm like, I just don't think of, I don't see myself in New Jersey. I would see myself maybe in a gorgeous selling Sunset House in like L.A., but I don't want to move to L.A. Because you guys know my family's here and everything.

Anyway, we need to discuss the season finale of Tell Me Lies, TML. Oh my God. I just want to talk about where we started and where we got to. Tell Me Lies premiered in 2022 on Hulu. I feel like it was niche. It was niche.

I was screaming about it. It obviously did well because it renewed for a second season. But like I even remember like I had Jackson on and they were so thankful and sweet like about how I was promoting the show. And they were hoping for a third season. And then it's like, first of all, it worked that they made us like salivate for the third. Also it worked that are they dating? IRL, Stephen and Lucy, aka Grace Van Pan and Jackson

White, dating IRL. The show just, there's something about this show and I think about it every freaking episode I watch. It's like even if you didn't have that toxic relationship in college, you had a toxic

relationship. And it reminds, it will remind you of that toxic relationship because it's like the embodiment like an exaggerated embodiment of a toxic relationship. And I mean, if you haven't had one, amazing, we weren't calling them toxic relationships then.

But like, I literally had a boyfriend in college who stopped picking me up in this car from my dorm to like the apartment off campus he was living because he told me that it's bad for the environment, like the gas in the car, but he would drive other places. So like, he'd be like, you need to walk. Like, I'm not destroying the environment. I'd be like, okay. He did also pull up me opening the fridge. Are you hunker?

Are you just bored situation? He's also like insane and like working at Spectrum or something. So listen, and he's like obsessed with Gilmore Girls. Yeah, he was a weirdo to begin with but also so toxic like those exes you spend hours on the phone with that I remember my huge flip phone that was so cool that opened like a keyboard would run out of battery and I'd connect it to. the Charger and just talk to him and talk to him on the phone. So I just feel like part of the show, it's not only that's hot, it's not only the sex, and it's not only, you know, the great cast and the fucking diabolical storyline. It's also the embodiment of the toxic relationship.

We've all been in it. We've all given up something for a dude. Like when Lucy didn't go to India and he's like, you literally didn't go because you wanted to sit around and wait for me to come book you, you know? And it's like, have we done specifically that? Do we not go to India? No, but we have tried to make ourselves available and make sure that we're not doing anything so we can sit at home just in case he calls or comes or whatever.

So I just feel like that is written so well because so many people relate to it, even though obviously not that extreme. Also, I just feel like the setting, the college, they filmed it so well. It's not one of those exaggerated dorms. Like I feel like it does remind me of my. dorm the setting the college parties the snow it's just all so motherfucking good not never mind like the actors and the sexiness anyway let's discuss the season finale to a whiz because let me tell you when stephen tried to record evan admitting i mean he recorded evan admitting that he's left with lucy

he he literally records him and then evan says oh man like you're not going to try to like ruin my life with it or something. And he's like, huh, not today. That not today of Stephen motherfucking DeMarco sent shivers down my spine and I was like, oh my God,

if what I think is going to happen is going to happen like that will be insane. And lo and behold, spoiler alert, the season ends when they're at Brie and Evans' wedding. And moments before Bree is supposed to walk down the aisle. She gets a message

from Stephen DeMarco. Stephen DeMarco was missing. He's not there at that moment. And it's the motherfucking audio recording of Evan saying that he's loved with Lucy. Chills down my spine. He's a psychopath. He's a psychopath.

But what I love about season two is you realize how psychopath Lucy is as well. Like that scene where she, you know, when it's in the 2015 era and she texts Stephen is like, I have to see you meet. me at the pool and his fucking her boyfriend.

And she's like, licking her lips and he's watching. Diabolical. She's fucking crazy. She's fucking nuts. Okay. And she's nuts. Her trying to, her taking Pippa's sexual assault story and making it her own. Like, the thing is I'm not sure they're like redeeming qualities about Stephen.

But Lucy sometimes you're like, oh, but she means well. Like she's a good person deep down. And also she says it. Like she wants to be better. She wants to date Leo to be better, you know, but she just keeps falling back. to her old ways. The fact that she had sex with both of them on the same day.

I'm like, Lucy. Lucy, what do you think? Like, you know better. You know Stephen's going to blow up your shit and motherfucking tell him. Also, we didn't find out about this, you guys. This was running rampant on TikTok.

It seems like Leo and Stephen both have the same tattoo behind their ear. Now, Lucy hasn't brought it up with them. Nobody's talked about it. If it was the actors have this tattoo, I feel like it would have been covered up. So is there a storyline season three

of like they were in like a cult together? Like what went down there? We didn't find out yet. We'll be right back after the break. So you guys, it is getting colder out there. I don't know if I'm alone here, but I like it. No, I know I'm not alone because everyone's like pumpkin space fall vibes. Like we all love it.

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quince.com slash not skinny. At this point, if you're not using Racketon to shop, like, you're being silly. You're being stubborn and you're being silly because I literally just got a check in the mail for like $21 from Rackaton. And I was like, what is this? And I was like, oh, I bought the Adidas shoes and like something from Alta. And okay, just like, hi, $20.01. Hi, a salad.

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Go to Shopify.com slash not skinny to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash not skinny. And we're back. Another thing this season, which I have to be honest, okay, listen, at the end of the day, I love the show so much, but I didn't write the show. And it's not my show. So I can say, I can have some criticism of it. So it's not criticism, it's more that I didn't totally believe the Bree Oliver storyline.

Like there's something about Bree, even though I like that, that like dichotomy. like she's such a goody-to-joo's like good person and all of a sudden she does this thing. But there was something where like they were trying to make her like sexy and more like badass. But it was just like, Brie, you know, I just feel like something about it didn't click for me entirely. Or maybe, you know what? Maybe it's that it did not click for me. Just wasn't hot for me. Like it wasn't like what a hot like forbidden romance.

Like most of their hookups weren't hot to me. nevertheless, that laundry room fuck, which was, like, cringy, icky, and, I mean, Brie was icked out by it as well. And also, I did understand now why she was so hurt when she found out, spoiler alert,

that him and his wife were in an open relationship. But, like, I feel like I'd be more like, why don't you just telling her an open relationship? Like, but I get it. Like, she wanted to feel special enough that he was risking his life for her, cheating on his wife for her. Yeah, I guess he did do that on purpose.

Like, he made, made her feel that way, like, this will blow up my life. Like, you can't say anything. So it is kind of part of a sick, twisted game. But, yeah, he grossed me out. Like, he grossed me out because he was, like, icky, you know, obviously he's a hot man. And if you didn't know, he is the showrunner,

Megan Oppenheimer's. Oppenheimers? Too many Oppenheimers. Megan Oppenheimer's husband. His name is Tom Ellis. And he was, like, in Lucifer. And he's obviously very hot. So, yeah, could you imagine being Megan on set?

But I do get it because I think that Megan was also saying, I think she did an interview with Dumois on her podcast. Like she was saying that she was glad that it was Tom because, like, you needed to like be able to trust that person. Obviously, it's like an older man, a younger girl and like Cat Missell, the actress who plays Brie. By the way, she also sings on the, on the episode. And I think for sure in the finale, maybe somewhere else too.

Yeah, that was just a little less hot to me. me. I do love Pippa. Pippa's like in my heart. I'm like, I love that she and Wrigley became close again. Some people don't love the Diana Pippa storyline, but I think that like we see a building out. But I love, I love Pippa and Wrigley. And it was so fucking tragic what happened with his brother in the last episode. Needless to say, we are motherfucking waiting for a season three. Needless to say, this ended on a cliffhanger of, like, the cliffhanger was it bigger than the season one and cliffhanger.

I mean, listen, at least we find out now why stupid-ass Leslie, what's her name, Lydia and Stephen are together. Like everything, the way they edited it and like all the jumping around, if at the beginning we didn't get why, now we get why. You know what I mean? Now we get why the jumping around because it's like, we were like, how did Lydia and Stephen get together? And then we're like, okay, his brother did this fucked up thing.

Lucy is calling him out for it. Lydia stops being her friend. but how did they get together? And it's like, oh, because Stephen has a master plan about motherfucking everything. I also loved Diana's master plan, which is she knows Stephen so well. She wanted to end it with him,

but she wanted it to be his idea. And she knows him so well that she knew. The minute she's not daddy's girl, the minute she's not, you know, going to be a hot shot lawyer, the minute that dream fell through, he was done with her. Literally, like what a mother fucking dick.

Anyway, we're waiting for season three. I wrote on my story, like, you guys, now three years until season three. And everyone was like, oh, three years. And I was like, first of all, I'm exaggerating. Like, you know me. But what do you think it's going to be? Like six months? We wait for like winter house on fucking Bravo for a year and a half.

So it's wild how we do wait, though. You know, I was thinking about that because tell me lie season one was in 2022. This came out of 2024. And we literally wait. We wait. Like, we have no choice. We wait and we're just as excited when it comes out. In sad news, Liam Payne, a former member of One Direction, sadly, sadly, tragically, devastatingly, lost his life, fell from the balcony of his hotel room in Buenos Aires.

Like, when I got that notification, I was like, is this a joke? Like, almost luckily, I feel like we didn't hear about too many tragedies like that. like, yes, we've seen celebs, you know, pass away, but it's been like older celebs or sick celebs. Like, this is a healthy young guy. So tragically dying, you know, his, the exact circumstances are not, are still unclear, but he did fall from that third floor balcony and his skull, I guess, was so shattered that he died. And the thing is, you guys, like, I haven't. been reporting on Liam Payne stuff, but there has been stuff with his ex, Maya Henry, before this happened.

Like, she was posting TikToks about him. She was saying that he was, like, harassing her and wouldn't stop calling her and her mom. And I think she even issued, like, a season desist a few days before he passed away. Yeah, she accused him of obsessive contact. All this stuff was coming out, and she even said, ever since we broke up, he messages me, will blow up my phone, not only from his phone number, but so is from different phone numbers.

I never know where it's going to come from. She said this in a TikTok video. He'll create new ICloud accounts to message me. It's always a damn new I cloud account. Every time I see one, pop up on my phone, I'm like, here the fuck we go again. So they started dating in August 2018, shortly after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, Cheryl Cole.

They share a son, a seven-year-old. It's like so sad. So like a year after they met him and this Maya Henry, just a year and they went Instagram official. He proposed in 2020, broke up in 2021, reconciled, and then called it quits for good in 2022. She then actually wrote a novel, which sounds very, what was that show with Anne Hathaway?

And Nicholas, la, la, la. Because she wrote a novel, a fan of boy band, five forward. This is her novel. novel, Maya Henry's novel, who eventually becomes a fashion model and an it girl. She meets and starts dating former five-forward member Oliver Smith in the book. Oliver forced Mallory to have an abortion after she got pregnant. So people were thinking, since this is so like exactly, you know, Liam, did he force her to get an abortion?

She said, of course, his book is fiction, but Mallory is very similar to me. I don't know. I don't know the exact circumstances, but she was posting videos about him up. until he died. And even though I'm sure she said that she was getting shit from his fans, I'm sure he was getting shit because I remember seeing that and I just wasn't

posting about it, but I remember seeing him being kind of bullied on the internet before this happened. Calls from the hotel manager and the police were released, okay? The manager called the police. That call is available to hear online if you want. He was

very concerned and he says he even says he says this guest is acting erratic he mess up the entire hotel room but he says i'm concerned and there's a balcony in the room and they're concerned what the guests might do because he's tearing the room apart and they need somebody sent urgently now i don't want to blame the popo but why didn't the popo come sooner maybe they were like what are we going to do like he's being rowdy great i don't know if it just took them a long time to come but obviously they didn't get they're fast enough because he ended up dying. And it's so sad. It is so sad. It's such a tragedy. He's so young, has a kid, like we mentioned. And, you know, now I'm not sure these are like fan edits or what exactly was going on with him. But it does seem like his mental health was suffering a little bit. He was, he also posted videos about that. And it just makes me super sad, you know, when a young person loses their life. Let me see. I actually posted. I hate when people do this. So I can't believe I did it. But I didn't do a silipon in so long. Obviously, I, you know, I can yap away. But I just wanted to know if there's anything specific. You guys want to talk about. A lot of it was tell me lies. You guys want to talk about postpartum stuff, baby stuff, which we did. People want to talk about Diddy. Listen, that's a whole other podcast and a whole other rabbit hole. I'll just say, like, remember the fat Jewish interview? Like when the fat Jewish came on and said what he said about Diddy, I was like, oh my God.

you know, and the Cassie lawsuit came out, we were like, oh my God. And then all of this comes out. And listen, I don't love TikTok green screens of just assuming and conspiring about who was involved, who was affected, because that's like super damaging to just, I'm telling you, news is spread so crazily and theories are spread so rapidly and so haphazardly that I have people come up to me that like know that I do what I do. And they're like, wait, so Justin Bieber confirmed that Diddy raped him? And I'm like, wait, what? No.

So it's just wild how, like, there was a consensus or, like, an understanding that didn't happen. I think that what we can say for sure, and this is what I actually say to these friends of mine who ask me questions like that. It's like, obviously the FBI is investigating Diddy and has a lot of shit on him and him trafficking and everything like that. We know that he, like, had recorded videos. He would make Cassie, like, hook up with fucking mail. prostitutes, and he would film it and make him them do stuff and everything disgusting.

And we know that Usher was living with him when he was 13. And now if you look at interviews with Usher, Usher was like, what the fuck was I doing there? Obviously he doesn't trash Diddy because he was saying all this publicly. We just weren't listening. But he was like, I shouldn't have been exposed to that stuff. Like, it was crazy. You can tell that, like, there's a lot going on. But then Usher gave Diddy Bieber for like 48 hours.

So we know that Bieber was probably exposed. So do we know exactly if he did anything to them? No. Do we know that Justin Bieber seems broken? And we're like, okay, something happened to Justin Bieber. Like, and we always assumed it was just fame and everything that came with that. But could it be something bigger? Could it be things that he was exposed to because of Diddy?

Could it be something that Diddy did to him? You know, that we don't know. But it just is kind of, you know, people assuming things like that. You're like, oh, okay. that's not confirmed. That's not what's out there. But hopefully everything will be out there at some point. Someone will know probably not about Justin Bieber,

but hopefully Diddy will go away for being a piece of shit human. I mean, do we need to see more than what we saw? Do we need to see more than the video of him beating up Cassie? We don't. Why don't you talk Kardashian no-mo? I do talk Kardashian. First of all, when I talk Kardashian, it's like, you once I'm talking about Kardashians, when I don't, it's like, why don't you talking about the Kardashians?

And first of all, the Kardashians are my girls always and forever. And whenever their show is on, I recap the show. But I feel like there's not much going on, right? Like they're all like kind of doing their own thing. Kim is literally, oh, Kim actually has been making me laugh lately because she's so booping her being like on set. She's like, boop on set, like late nights unsat, me on set. I'm like, girl, you're an actress now. I love them.

Let's see what else. Oh, my story. How I got here. where you are. That's a whole other pod. That's a whole other pod. When will we see you in that movie you were in?

I wasn't in a movie. I was in a show in Israel and a commercial in Israel, which I showed you guys, I think. Oh, the movie. Ah! Oh, my God, you guys. I don't know if I can tell you now.

I think I can tell you. Okay. I will tell you. And then I'll ask the person after I record this and if anything, we'll cut it out. But, okay. Yes.

I filmed for a movie. Okay, so Amy Schumer was on my podcast, and I love her, and we connected. And she was just starting to film her movie, almost pregnant, kind of pregnant. And I was like, oh, my God, you're actually pregnant. Like, you should come film for a bit. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm a movie star, of course. And you know how people usually say stuff and it doesn't happen? Well, this happened.

I came. I got a trailer. I was living. I was like, okay. It was the hardest day of my life, okay? My actor friends make fun of me for this because I'm like, this is so hard. Like, everyone thinks it's so glam,

but I was literally waiting around for 12 hours. It was freezing cold. They were filming on the Brooklyn Bridge. And my scene got cut. Amy just told me the other day. She was like, oh, my God, the movie's coming out soon. Your scene was cut, but it was so fun to hang out. I'm like, okay.

So that would be funny. I thought we could make fun of me. Anyway, it would have been like the smallest little blip of me, but I was excited to like make fun of me with you guys and be like, see my strand of hair. That's me. But now we can't even do that. Which, by the way, this happens in the industry all the time.

It's like actors could literally film four days, weeks, months, and be cut. Like, it's a wild industry. I don't know how these people do it. Anyway, I love you guys so much. I don't want to yap your ear off today. I'm sure there's a limit of time that you can listen to my voice. Some of you love it. Some of you don't choke. No, don't joke. I love you. And I will next week, there's some fun

pots coming up. There's some fun pots coming up, you guys. Some fun having to me up. Tees, tease, tease, link, link, link, swipe, swipe, swipe. I miss you. I love you. And I'll see you next. Who says that? That's a fucking bitch. That's for sure. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of not skinny but not fat. Follow me on Instagram at not skinny but not fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo.

Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect. financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.