Not Skinny But Not Fat - Scheana Shay: Her Good Side

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Scheana Shay joins me to talk turning 40, her new best selling memoir My Good Side, and the moments from her life and career she’s never shared in full. From her early days in Hollywood, celebrity affairs and hookups to the biggest dramas on Vanderpump Rules. She opens up about her marriage to Brock, his affair, friendships and fallouts within the cast, and what might be next for her on The Valley.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with Quince. Go to Quince.com/notskinny for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns.To explore coverage, visit ASPCApetinsurance.com/NOTSKINNY.It’s time to get your own personal stylist with DailyLook. Head to DailyLook.com to take your style quiz and use code NOTSKINNY for 50% off your first order.Visit CleanSimpleEats.com and use code NOTSKINNY20 at checkout for 20% off your FIRST order.When it comes to pregnancy and postpartum support, you want products backed by research and transparency. Mom-founded Ritual puts in the work and shows you the proof. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com/NOTSKINNY. Project Runway – Thursdays at 10pm on Freeform, Stream on Hulu and Disney+Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hi, hi, hi, and happy. Tuesday to my favorite people on the planet. I hope everybody is doing okay. I had kind of like a mea week. Like you know when you're having a mea week and then you check your like menstrual cycle and

it says you're ovulating like oh that makes sense. Like if it says you're ovulating you're like that makes sense. If it says you're like pre period, you're like oh that makes sense. If it's like you're getting your period tomorrow you're like oh duh that makes sense. So that's kind of where I'm at. I'm just in this like me mood. Maybe it's like August, like, you know what it is, which could be like that I'm literally Kim Kardashian and I'm like a work addict. And because summers are slower in the biz, I'm like, give me more. Give me more happenings.

Give me more to do. So maybe it's that. Maybe it's that things are getting to me more nowadays. I miss the simpler days of social media. I miss smaller community. I know. It's shocking. I know everybody's dream is to grow and to get more followers and to get more people and all this shit. And like, I'm telling you, especially if anybody's listening as starting out or is, you know, there's something so special about having like a small community. Like, those were the days. I loved it. I felt like I was talking to just a few people that I could say anything I wanted to, that everyone that was there was like... part of my friend group. And listen, growth is great and it comes with a lot of pluses, but it's also, I don't know, there's something about it that feels more detached a little bit

at times. And yeah, I don't know. So I've just been in my feels about all that stuff. And that's that's the other thing that then I'm in my feels about that. And I'm like, I didn't used to get in my feels about social media. It used to be just like my, you know, part of my day. that didn't ever make me upset, that didn't ever make me spiral, that didn't ever make me feel like, oh, wait, should I be not be on here for this amount of time? So I didn't have that. So that saddens me because I know that I used to be, it used to be just so innocent and so

pure. I know. It's hard to believe, but there was a time. And things change and things evolve. And again, it comes with its advantages and disadvantages. But anyway, you know, Jamie Lee Curtis also said, thing this week that really spoke to me. They're doing her and Lindsay Lohan doing like the,

all the press for Freakier Friday, which I'm so excited to see. And actually love that Lindsay is like dressing on theme for these premieres, even though like one time she's like dressing on theme on like a freaky Friday theme. Another day she's like being Annie from Parentrop. So it's like love it. Like why are we doing Parentrop for Freakier Friday? But I'm down.

I'm into it. I'm eating it up. And listen, I'll say it once and I'll say it again. She is one of the people in the world, which I hope nobody ever turns on her, but that like people are just die for her. Anything she does, people are rooting for her, really, really, really rooting. And it's special to see, especially in this world filled a hate, that there is one person, Lindsay Lohan, that everybody's rooting for. It's really cool. But anyway, Jamie Lee Curtis, you know, they get asked a lot about their relationship.

And one of the times they asked Jamie about her relationship with Lindsay and, like, meeting her when she was 15 and, you know, and Jamie said, when I met Lindsay, I told her, listen, this world is very transactional. And I can promise you that I will be the one person that doesn't want anything from you. And then she said, now I, the only thing I'll ask her is, like, to do things for, like, the children's hospital, which obviously is, like, a mitzvah. But she's like, I won't ask anything of her. And, like, she knows that I'm just there for her, like, as a person, as a friend, as a human, as a colleague. And it is true. This world is so transactional. And moreover, not to burst the bubble, fake.

And I think for me is like a real person that tends to have some naivete when it comes to why and how people operate. I have no problem with it being fake if I can like feel the fakeness and like observe it, accept it and move on. But I think the times that I get upset is when I'm kind of duped with the fakeness. So I think for me it's just learning really after all these years, which again, thank God I wasn't like an overnight. tick-tuck sensation, but just learning after all these years, like, really the ropes. Like, you learn, you learn, you learn. And then you're like, okay, this is also part of it. Like, you got to not be duped.

And a lot of celebs, you know, they've been in this industry a really long time. So when Jamie said that, she knew what she was saying. What she meant was you're going to meet a lot of people. And a lot of them are going to, you know, be nice to you or act like. whatever but like don't trust them trust me anyway on to the next on on to the next aside from anna de armas and tom cruise dating which is like should we be concerned for anna who loves the older man's let's roll into today's episode on today's show we are continuing with our reality tv streak the valley has been fucking crazy this season vanderpump is not

coming back as we know it. However, Sheena Shea from Vanderpump and OG has just come out with a book, My Good Side. I read it. I can no longer say I don't read. I do read this in like two freaking days. I love it. She really spills the tea about all the behind the scenes of filming Vanderpump, what she did in Hollywood before she got on Vanderpup who she did in Hollywood before she became part

of Vanderpump. So she really goes there, you guys. You guys, my good side actually became a New York Times bestseller. So take that. Take it. Take it. And she's here today to talk. So here we go.

Here we go. My episode with Sheena Shai, by the way. Sheena also, like, I think I've done her virtually years ago, but never have been with her in person. And here we are. Me and Shina Shia shishu. She shoo. We need us here, everybody. Have we done it in person ever?

Wait. I don't think we have. No, we have. Have we? I'll tell you when. One. Okay. This was I would, which thank you because you had me on yours, I think.

Oh, yes. We did mine in person. It was. At this random. Podcast one. Oh, that was their studio. Do you remember where it was in this building? It was on Maple in Beverly Hills.

Yes. Yeah. And Janet was doing it with you at the time. Yeah. And I didn't know who she. Because she wasn't on the show yet or anything. And that was, I don't even know what year. That was probably pre-pandemic.

Six years ago. Pre-or babies. Pre-for-shore. Pre-our babies. Because I only realized really now that Summer and Noah are similar because you were talking about being pregnant during COVID. So she's turning five also? She turned four in April.

Four in April. Okay. So a little bit younger than Noah. But that's wild. When you spoke about this in your book. just being, you just said it out loud, like, with no hesitations, but you were just like being pregnant during COVID was like the best thing ever. Yeah. I mean, I didn't miss out on anything. No music festivals, no trips. I mean, for you, it's because you're into that kind of

stuff. Yeah. I am not into music festivals, but it was still actually the best time to be pregnant. Because even eating out, you didn't have to ask like the questions about the food and if it's home, the dress. You were just at home all the time. Yeah. And we were living. in San Diego at the time. So we had literal sunset beach walks every single night. It was so nice. Yeah, I realized reading the book because you guys, I read the book, Sheena's book, My Good Side.

I finished it in less than 48 hours. I love that. Which my listeners, my people know, which I feel like at this point, I can't say I don't read books because I've been reading books. But I'm not, I don't read many books. So read your book. Yay. Thank you.

Loved it. Such an easy read as well, which is important to me. And I love that we just got to hear your whole story. Like all the behind the scenes, everything from birth. Literally. Until now. Yeah. And all the behind the scenes of the seasons.

And you get into the details about, I don't even think we knew about like you being demoted, for instance. No, it's not anything I ever opened up about. I didn't think I was allowed to talk about it. So I was shocked. I was able to keep it in the book. Well, I feel like with housewives you know, right? Because it's like the apple. She doesn't have the apple.

The cast knows where they're a standing friend of. I feel like for Vanderpump, we never thought about that. And that's what they said. No one watching the show would have any idea. I was still in every episode. I was still in opening credits. Yeah. But they just didn't want to pay me.

It's all about the payment. Yeah. And you went into like the day rate versus the – Does that feel like a knock to your ego to talk about stuff like that? No, not necessarily. It's just, you know, it's a part of my story. And I'm now looking back in hindsight, thankful that that happened because it forced me to start my YouTube channel.

And I would have never done that had I not felt so undervalued at the time because I felt like you're only showing part of my story. Now you're not even paying me for the full stories. You're not getting it. So I'm going to put it on YouTube. And I don't think I ever would have started a YouTube channel had that not happened to me. And it took off your YouTube channel. And you're still doing it, like vlogging.

Every Wednesday. Every Wednesday. For the demotion part, you got demoted for the season where the new cast was coming. Yeah, season eight. Okay. So that, I mean, they tried the new casting and it didn't really work. Right. And they, I mean, after season eight, that's when it was going to split off to what's now the

Valley and the new Vander. pump rules. So I was supposed to be a part of both of them. So I was still at the restaurant. I was integrating the new cast members. I'm hanging out with the OGs. And I'm like, I'm doing twice the work for half the pay. You literally, by the way, so we didn't know this, but it all clicked for me because I was like, I remember you being the only connection. Because nobody was talking to the new people. No, just me. Just you. And you got the short end of the stick and that. And then they brought you back as full time for which season? Season nine. There was no way I was coming back after a pandemic, having a baby, going back to the restaurant, just being on a day rate.

I had already been without the show for like a year and a half. We had a full season off meeting with production and whatnot. I was like, look, if I'm coming back days postpartum, because the day that production was supposed to start was days after my due date. And they put me back up season nine only to take it away against season 10. Wait, I cannot believe three days postpartum, the cameras went back up. Three days post coming home from the hospital because I was hospitalized for like five days. That's insane. Yeah.

And especially with the birth that you had, though. Yes, I know. And you don't see any of that story. Did you film anything in the hospital going? Not in the hospital, but the first scene, Brock and I are in the kitchen talking about what a traumatic birth I just have. I could have almost died, going through all of these things, just how scary that was, still not even fully processing it. And then cut to, we sit down in the living room, we're eating.

It looks like I've clearly been crying, but it was really important to find out if Lala and Katie were being invited to the Hibachi dinner for my birthday. Who cares that you almost died last week? Who's coming to dinner? Oh, my God, that's wild. Yeah. How do you do that? Just disconnect, like, prioritize, what?

I think it was just all kind of a blur. I was like, you know what? I have a job to do. The job is to film. And so I just showed up and diaper on did my job. I can't believe you did that. I know. I can't either.

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Join us every week on Come Together Wherever you listen to podcasts. And we're back. Hearing more about your

birth and help syndrome, is it which is so fucking scary. And often could be fatal. So it's basically preclampsia leads

to that, the high blood pressure. Yes. So basically help is preclampsia gone fucking. wild? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. That's terrifying. Really scary. And you said in the book, too, that, like, you actually scheduled your induction because of filming schedules. And that was the thing.

So when I talked to my doctor, I'm at my 40-week appointment, she's not coming anytime soon. I'm not dilated, even the slightest. And he was like, here's the thing, you know, like, yeah, I was perfectly comfortable pregnant. I would have stayed pregnant for 11 months if I could have, honestly. Wow. I was not ready to get her out.

She was safe inside of me. She went everywhere with me, and I didn't have to worry about holding her head up or dropping her, all these fears that I had. And so when I told my doctor, I go, but here's the caveat. I'm supposed to go back to work on whatever it was, like May 2nd, May 3rd. And that date is not changing. So we can wait out the pregnancy, see a week or two weeks, but then I could be on camera and my water breaks.

Like, they're not going to allow filming in the whole. hospital. I don't want filming in the hospital. So do we induce me or what do we do? And he was like, you know what? He's like, I want you to have as much time as you can getting used to this before cameras are up. So make it to your 40-week appointment. If she doesn't come, I'll induce you a day or two after. Did you ever wonder if you didn't induce if the birth would have went differently? Yeah. I do think about that often. While I was in labor, about 15 hours in when they tell me I have preeclampsia. They need to put me on this magnesium trip. You never had high blood pressure throughout your pregnancy. Around maybe like my 20 week, it was like at the beginning of my doctor's

appointment for like the whole anatomy skin and all that, it was high. Then they took it again after and it was fine. So they were like white coat syndrome. Exactly. Yeah. And then the day of my 40 week appointment, my blood pressure was high. I had protein in my urine, but they chalked it up to nerves and what I ate for breakfast. Didn't think anything of it. So now, I'm 15 hours into labor, and her heart rate's dropping. They need to put me on this magnesium drip. I'm just blaming myself. The magnesium drip sounds so scary.

It was so scary. I'm shaking uncontrollably. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm killing my baby because I'm trying to force her out so I can film a TV show. What is wrong with me? I know. But first of all, obviously, it wasn't your fault. And who would know if you would have given birth, you know, if you wouldn't have

induced if it would have happened. And in hindsight, but it's still. Thank God they did induce me because what if I do. did just go into labor and I had a stroke and died because we didn't have enough time to monitor my blood pressure and her heart rate. Like, it could have gone so much worse if I wasn't being monitored for so long, so carefully. So this syndrome help is like, could be fatal? It could be, yeah. I had several women reach out and say they either lost a friend or a sister or someone to help syndrome. And that really terrified you. You talked about in the book as well, like your debates with

baby number two sounds like you and Brock are at a place where it's kind of Sounds like off the table until it's on the table if it gets on the table. When it comes back on the table, it'll be with the surrogate. So next step is fertilizing my eggs. I said, I already put the work in. I froze them twice seven years ago. And this is where, I don't know if you and Chloe, I'm trying to remember if you talked about this when you had her on your podcast. Chloe Kardashian?

Yes. It was one thing that I wish they covered on the show more, having a natural pregnancy and then having a surrogate, releasing that control. but then struggling to bond with her baby. I mean, she talked about it a lot on the show, which I think is so great that she did because... Yeah, it skipped like a whole season. And I was like, where is this storyline? I want more of it.

And then I feel like the last one, it kind of came back to it, but I felt like we missed that first year. I want to have like a... Not my actual sister, but like a surrogate sister, you know, where we have our surrogates pregnant at the same time and can go through the motions together. You love doing something together, Sheena. It was so fun to have three of my...

my closest friends pregnant at the same time. Lala. Stasi and Brittany. And I mean, other friends that like people don't even know. It was just like so many. I know. It is wild that you all ended up pregnant at the same time. I know. And that was not planned on. Not my part, for sure. And you, are you friends with Sossie today? You mentioned her in your book a couple times. Yeah. Just about your differences. It sounds like there's something in Stasi that like, maybe you wish you had a little bit of maybe her husband or like her because you talk about being a people pleaser

a lot in the book and she's not that obviously. So is that the thing that you're like would want from her? Yeah, I think just that confidence that I had season one that season after season was just beat down and kind of taken away. I'm trying to get that back

in my 40s. To get like the confidence back. Do you feel more confident today than you did in your 20s? No. 20s, I was the most confident. Yeah, 20s, Sheena, yeah, she slapped. Cigar Club, Sheena. 30s was a... Rocky.

Yeah, a roller coaster. And, you know, 40s, I've only been in it for two months. How was your 40th birthday? It was iconic. It was so fun. We had a house party at my friend's house. They have this beautiful oasis of a backyard. Two levels. We had massages. We had magic. We had a smores bar. We had a private chef. So you threw like a party, party? Yeah.

Did you invite the cast of VPR Valley? Most. Yeah? Not all. Who wasn't invited? I did not invite Sandoval. I did not invite Jax. I did not invite Jesse Lolley.

Everyone else, I think, was invited. Really? Yeah. Showed up? No, everyone didn't show up. But also, Chris and Nia were pregnant. Right. Very pregnant.

That is exciting turning 40, though. I feel like it's going to be your decade. I think so. So back to 20s, Sheena, Cigar Club, Sheena, which, by the way, that portion of the book, so interesting. Because you really take us through the motions of what it's like to move to L.A., work in this kind of a place that you intentionally worked at to make connections, right? And then you actually, like, meet all these famous people. Yeah. Including Eddie Sibbriyan.

Okay. By the way, he's very handsome. Right. When you, you don't think of Eddie every day, okay? I don't think of Eddie every day. I certainly don't. But I was thinking of Eddie in this chapter that you write about him. Yeah.

And then I might have gone and like stalked him and just trying to remember those dimples. And I'm like, damn, he's fucking cute. Yeah. Like is cute, aged well, motherfucker. Totally. And was cute. I know. So he walks into the cigar club you're working at.

Was it like, what, one of the hottest guys that walked in there? By far. Really? Yeah. And you don't recognize him from anything. No. Not at all. Because he wasn't like...

He was in... The one movie I did see was say it isn't so with Heather Graham. But I didn't recognize him from that movie. It was just when I eventually looked up his IMDB. I was like, oh, my God. I remember thinking the boyfriend or husband in that movie was hot. Wait, in what years is? Like, 2000 what?

This is 2006. Yeah, almost 20 years ago. I met him. I know. I know. So you meet him and from the beginning, he's flirty. Mm-hmm. And you're like, ooh. Yeah, I'm like, you're cute.

Yeah, but don't Google him. We were we Googling everybody then? No. We weren't. I didn't even have a laptop. I had to go to like the internet cafe to print out my auditions. So my phone, I don't even think I had a Blackberry yet when I met him. Like I still was on like a trio.

Yeah, a trio. Which I don't even think I had an internet browser. No, I did have even before the trio, it was, I had Verizon. So I didn't get to have a sidekick or like a razor, the cool other phones. Why? That was like a team. mobile thing. Oh, okay, okay.

And so I remember I had this one. It looked like a sidekick, but it kind of like the screen like twisted up. Oh, yes, I had that. I had that. Yeah. Oh, those were the fucking days. I know. Okay, so you meet him, you flirt with him, you kind of start hooking up, didn't know about

his wife. No, not at all. Didn't know. Or a ring. Why would I think this guy who doesn't wear a wedding ring who goes out and has PDA? Yeah. Why would I think he was married?

And then you do mention that somebody at the club came up to you and tried to tell you, but you kind of chalked it up to, like, not being true. Well, because I confronted him. Oh. So. That's wild and he just literally told you no. Yes. Like, that's crazy.

Like, so gaslighting. That's crazy. Why would you believe that? Why would you think that, oh, this person doesn't know what they're talking about? And you still didn't Google. No, I didn't. It never crossed my mind. Call me naive, but I just, I never even thought about it.

I took his word for it. So in this. I'm too trusting as we've learned. Yeah, wait. In this cigar, he was. PDAE at the cigar club? No, not a... Okay.

Just when he went out, out. Yeah, we would go out after my shifts. Okay. So here's the thing that people might not realize about that time. Basically, he was having two side women, right? Eventually, yeah. Eventually, yeah. At the point where Brandy found out already, like, he was with you and with Leanne Rhymes,

which, by the way, they're thriving still together. I've done the stalking. At least they made it through, you know? I mean, yes, yes. Leave your spouses for each other. It's a big deal. But still, did Leanne get the brunt of it as well in the public? I don't think so.

I feel like it was just me. And maybe because they worked out? I don't know. Maybe she did. Yeah. It was so long ago. That was like 2009. I know.

But it was kind of your intro as you talk about two Vanderpump rules. And you kind of also talk about how maybe you were. kind of tricked into it in a way by Lisa Vanderbond. I just felt like I didn't have the full story when I was going into this. When I agreed to work this party at Sir, I knew they were going to be filming for Housewives. I did not know that Brandy Glanville was new on the show that season. I had no idea.

I just thought, okay, I'm just going to be there background, pass my goat cheese balls, and go home and collect my check. And you felt like maybe they were trying to have a situation? I mean, totally. But you didn't end up having a situation. You went home. I mean, it became a situation. Yeah, it became a situation.

Yeah, and then I got sent home. Right. And then time and time again, when I was working at the restaurant, both on and off camera, if Brandy was coming in, it was like, I had to go home. I'm like, but I need to make money. So now I can't make tips because she's coming in? Can't I be in a different section? Do you think there was a conversation that went on when Lisa was trying to, like,

sell the idea for the show? like, listen, we have one waitress who hooked up. You think that was like a selling point. It's kind of been confirmed to me now that she did know all along. Oh, right. At the, what was it, the VPR? At the dog gala. Somebody, a producer told you?

Yeah. That what? That she was worried in the beginning that the Disney girl who had a connection to Eddie wasn't going to join the show. But then she did. And she did. And this whole, what did they used to call you in the first? season? A home wrecking whore. A home wrecking whore. But that wasn't even you. You didn't wreck the home. I didn't. He wrecked his own home. Why is it always on the woman? No. And secondly, like, you didn't successfully wreck the home. Sorry, Leanne. Love you. Love you. But like she, the wrecking the home means the man, you know, you end up leaving. You start a new life, which he did with Leanne. Not with you. No. But you got the homewrecking horror. And looking back and, and, and, you end up leaving. You start a new life. Which he did with Leanne. Uh-huh. Not with you. But you got the homewrecking horror. And looking back and. And, and. And.

remembering just those times and all the girls calling you these names. It reminds me kind of of like internet culture now, which is even worse than back then, which is like you hate somebody and you do everything in your power to find out anything bad they've ever done to take them down. And I'm always like, those people don't care about the bad thing that person did. They just hate them and want to take them down. And I feel like this is kind of true to that.

We're like, did they care about Brandy Glanville and Eddie and ruining their marriage? no, they just didn't like you or you rub them the wrong way and they had this thing on you to use against you. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And then it was like, oh, well, if Sheena's trying to steal Brandy's man, she's going to try and steal our man. No, Stasi, I do not want Jacks Taylor. You can have him. I mean, that's wild that that was about Jacks. Yeah. But how did it actually feel like? And Kristen thought I wanted Tom Sanderval back in the day. She would sit at the bar at Villablanca and just like watch us bartend together. And I'm like,

And you never had a flirty thing with Sandoval. I think I naturally have flirty energy. And so I could see how that was maybe taken the wrong way. But I was fully in a relationship with Shea when I was working with Sandoval. Right. So it was never like that at all. We'll be right back after the break. I was thinking of posting this last night, but I had a gazillion story.

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The product is not intended to diagnose. nose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. You know that feeling watching Project Runway and suddenly thinking, like, I could totally design a gown out of, like, paper towels and duct tape until you remember that you cannot even draw a sick figure and that those designers are actually geniuses and talented and you're not. Anyway, Project Runway is back in dramatic fashion and the icon Heidi Klum returns to the mother of all fashion shows, now on freeform Hulu and Disney Plus.

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and of course, there are iconic judges, including our pod friend La Roach, our girl, Heidi Klum, Christian Siriano, which you know and love, and more. Project Runway, Thursdays at 10 p.m. on a freeform, stream on Hulu and Disney Plus. And we're back. You dated a lot of actors. Did I? You mentioned a few of them. J.C. Chazze.

Jesse McCartney, which, by the way, had a huge crush on him. Did you, were you dating him during the time of beautiful? Okay, so I would like to clear this up. It's not dating. Okay. A lot of these were hookups. Hookups. Some were once.

Some were multitudes. multiple times, like, Jesse Metcalf, fully dated. Like, we, yes, we were dating. But most of the other ones I rattled off, I mean, it was, it was more of a... Was it a hookup? Yeah. Were all them, like, hookup hookups? But some of them, I mean, it was like over a year.

It was over two years. There were several consistent ones in the rotation. Who was, like, the best hookup? Shamar. Shammar. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I wanted to ask you about John Mayer a little bit.

Okay. Because John Mayer is the reason you ended up getting fired from the cigar club. You could tell I read the book. Can you not? Yes. Is this insane? I love it. I know.

Because it's so many details, you guys. Look at all these deeds. So nobody found out about you and Eddie. Like, you didn't get fired for that. Eddie wasn't a member. Oh, right. So that was okay. You weren't allowed to fraternize with the members.

And John also wasn't a member of the Beverly Hills Club, but apparently he was a member of the member of the. the New York club, which I didn't know about and honestly wouldn't have cared. I still would have done it. It was John Mayer. So like with these celebs that you hooked up with, is what turned you on that they were famous or did you actually like them? Both. I mean, Jesse Metcalf, like I had a crush on him just from watching him on TV when I was in college. Yeah. The hot gardener on Desperate Housewives. And then John Tucker, you know. So that, I mean, when I met him, it was like, oh my God.

he's Jesse McCaff. Right. But then, I mean, he was just a normal guy who liked to play the guitar for me and take me on dates and stuff. So there was definitely that appeal back in the day. Yeah. But they all were genuinely nice guys.

Like, there's not one guy I named in there who was an asshole. Really? None of them, like, narcissist? No, not that I can think of. Out of the ones I named. I left some. You left some out.

I know you said like two actors from the notebook. I was like, what? These are the, this is, we're not mentioning. No. Like, who is in the notebook? But two, okay, let's say Ryan Gosling. She's not confirming or denying. Not confirming or denying.

But another one? Yes. Oh, I know. Not confirming or denying. But how did you decide who you're naming and who you're not? Because I thought for that, it was when I watched the movie that I realized I was like, Oh, yeah. I hadn't seen the movie in years.

Okay. And so I was like, that would just be funny to put in the book, like, two actors from the notebook. Oh, that was like a choice. Yeah. Just not to name them. And I didn't need to rattle off all of the athletes because they were quite a few. And I'm like, we're already dropping a lot of names. Yeah.

Maybe there's another book one day, you know? And you don't need to get like approvals or anything like with like mentioning people in a book. No. If they're a public figure, it's fair game. But I was careful with what details I've. I shared what details I didn't share because I did want to be respectful. I'm not trying to write a tell-all book about anyone other than myself. That's true.

That's nice of you. Yeah. Is there a celeb that really wanted to hook up with you that you didn't give a chance to? Ooh. Trying to think. Someone at the Cigar Club, Villablanca, and the DMs. I mean, there were several that it was like in everything but. Like, I didn't fully want to have sex with.

Yeah. There were some of those. Yeah. But not that I can think of off the top of my head. And did you end it with any of these guys? Like with Jesse, John. I feel like they all kind of naturally just fizzled out. Fizzled out or, you know, I had someone new in the rotation, so that one went out, or this one went on tour, this one was filming, or whatever.

Did you ever see Eddie? around again? No, how insane that I've never ran into him. L.A. is so small. If you ran into him, though, would you say hello? I feel like at this point, I mean, we would have to have a laugh. And what about, I mean, Brandy? Brandy I keep in touch with.

Yeah, we last time we saw each other was probably BravoCon. But she texted me, maybe about five, six months ago. She was with the mutual friend of ours. And she was like, oh, so-and-so says hi and da-da-da. So I try to keep in touch with her. but I mean, we're not like best friends. Yeah, but I mean, that's better than I would think. Yeah.

A lot of Vanderpump rules revelations on in the book, like we said. You said that Kristen revealed on a podcast that they had a meeting about pushing you out. Yeah. At some point during the season. How did that make you feel? Like shit. I mean, I knew that they didn't want me on their show, but to find out years later that they all had this secret meeting of how can we not include Sheena and scenes and get her kicked off of our show.

I'm like, who was the first scene with? It wasn't any of you. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, Chena, how do you deal with it for so many years, like, just the constant berating from other cast members or wanting to be friends and not wanting to be friends or trying to ice you out? Like, what kept you so strong all these years?

For some seasons, weed, for other seasons, therapy. And overall, just not giving a fuck. You know, just living my truth, knowing that me being on reality TV, even if you're only going to show one side of me, you're still showing a side that people can relate to. I'm still getting to share lived experiences with the world. And, you know, that's what we have podcasts for. And that's why I wrote a book. And you also say, which is very interesting, which I could totally see happening and this goes along with your people pleasing, is that Lisa Vanderpom kind of used you as a, you know, as one of her pawns would call you, ask you to kind of. like do things steer you in directions and you mentioned that there was something that happened

that you didn't kind of follow through with and that you feel like after that the relationship between you changed like when you didn't follow the orders yeah I mean there was no way I was going to say that I think James should continue working here when he's insulting women's bodies that is not okay right I tried to chime in and be like well Katie what if you don't work on Tuesdays and she was like no it's me or him I was like I agree that was that I was like, nope. And you feel like after that, what, Lisa Vanderpomps? She knew that she couldn't completely convey the story she wanted through me anymore.

Yeah. Because at the end of the day, something may come out of my mouth. That's not my original thought. But if I repeat it, I have to be accountable for it. Right. And after years of doing things that sometimes felt out of character, which also I think I even did more recently on season 11. But...

Like what season 11? You know, with... With Sandoval. Yeah. You think you went too hard for him. I think that I could have done things a lot better. Yeah. But when someone who is an authority figure is coming to me and telling me this person who you've cared about for 15 years is suicidal.

And I felt like essentially after that conversation, it was like there's going to be blood on your hands if he does anything. What am I supposed to do? Just say, oh, well. Like, no. So then... I mean, you were also very emotional this season, which now... It all makes sense. Now that the book comes out, it all makes sense.

Like, okay, projecting a lot. Absolutely. Yeah. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, it's the bombshell revelation in your book that Brock cheated when you were pregnant. Big thing to tell the world about. Yeah. And, you know, I could have taken it to the grave. But then I would have to be lying the rest of my life. I didn't see how I could write a memoir and not talk about one of the most devastating chapters of my life and how I came out on the other side of it.

It felt like the whole book, it would be inauthentic. Yeah. It wouldn't be a piece of work that I'm truly proud to stand behind because it just wouldn't feel like the whole story. Yeah. And Brock and I went back and forth with this. There was a leak, a blind item on a blog site, that then when I announced the book, it resurfaced on Reddit. So I'm like, okay, well, there's already this. Sure, we can lie about it and just say like, no, that's bullshit.

I think people wouldn't have believed it anyways. Right. You also involved another person here. And at any point in time, this woman can come forward. Yeah. So I'm not willing to hide this anymore and not put it in the book because it just didn't feel right. I needed to tell our whole story as hard as it was to write, to read out loud on the audio book. I mean, it was really difficult.

I mean, you mentioned the book that he supported this, but what were those conversations like? Ooh, not good. Lots of tears. A couple's therapy sessions. and ultimately we weighed the pros and the cons. We talked about, you know, what could be the backlash. But at the end of the day, I was just like, look, this is a part of our story.

And I think we need to tell it because the book would be incomplete without it. And he accepted that. Yeah. I mean, it was probably eight months of going back and forth. Really? Like if to include it or not to include it. Yeah. I, the book sold without it.

Oh, okay. They had no idea when they bought the book. And the book sold very quickly after my meeting. So the fact that it sold with a very vague description of what chapter 16 could look like. I'm like, I think the book's good enough without it. And so I was way leaning more towards, let's not put it in, protect our family. Summer's going to find out about this one day if we put it in the book. But then after going back and forth and just thinking about, okay, so then say this gets

brought up on whatever season of whatever show we're filming. I'm just going to continue to lie. You would be a liar, yeah. I'm not a liar. I'm an open book, and I can't write a memoir and not talk about this because also I'm really proud of myself for having the strength to stay to forgive and to keep the family together because that wasn't an easy decision to make. You were debating for a long time.

Yeah, and that's why I didn't bring it up season 11. I wasn't ready to discuss it yet. So now looking back at season 11, you guys, and remember, Sheena, riding for Sandoval, deciding, you know, being T. Mariana, but wanting to forgive him, like, all of that. And how long before you're filming did you find out about this affair? Two months? So, like, do you understand now that you were, like, the whole season was probably fueled

by that? Oh, yeah. I mean. You were literally projecting your situation onto this. You say in the book, too, like a line that's like, if you didn't forgive Sandoval, then, like, How could you forgive Brock? But you also say that you kind of regret a lot of your actions in season 11. So what do you wish the most that you would have done differently?

I think that the affair wasn't even my biggest issue with Sandoval. It was the lack of accountability. And I kind of wish that I, what is it called? Like held his feet to the fire a little harder, you know. I think that because I so badly wanted to be able to forgive. my husband for an affair. How could I not forgive my best friend of 15 years who did the same thing not to me? Right. And I know people like to say I try to make everything about me, but I was trying to not make this about me, but also figure out how I can work towards a path of forgiveness so I can

sleep at night. So I can have some peace. And hating Brock, hating Tom, that was not bringing me peace. So it was like I had to release both if I was going to be the best version of myself. Because there were many sleepless nights, so many tears. I have an extremely empathetic daughter. And every time she would see me cry, she would get tears in her eyes. And I was like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I just need to have some peace in my life. And if that means I give you some grace because you're suicidal, then I'm going to give you some grace.

But it was a little too much, maybe. Yeah, a little too much. You know? How didn't you slip up, like that whole season of? filming or in an interview, I mean, just talking about cheating and cheating and cheating. I was, it was easy because I was protecting my daughter. I wasn't even protecting Brock. I was protecting her.

And that's the easiest thing in the world to do. And what about writing about that and knowing that she'll read it one day? Thankfully, I think we've got several years to figure out how we're going to tell for this. Just flipping through the book. Yeah, there's a lot of things I think about, you know, how are we going to explain her half siblings. How are we going to explain this? If you do a surrogate, that's going to be the soonest. How do we explain? So I don't know. She's only four. Right now I'm just trying to figure out where she's going to go to kindergarten. Did you forgive him? Can you say? I did. I said the words,

I forgive you. And I remember that moment. I remember exactly where we were. And it just, it was like a weight lifted. It was like I needed to say those words because I was. was so angry for so long. And I don't even remember how long it was until I said those words. Did you put him through the gauntlet for a while? Oh, yeah. He slept in the guest room, which honestly is a really comfortable bed, so it should have been the couch. But yeah, we were not good for a very long time. Like you feel like you're not going to be bringing this up in a fight. Like, how do you move past, you know how, like, there's a thing that you can bring up in a fight? Like, you did this. Like, how do you move past that? Like, but you, like, that's probably part

It was really hard. Yeah, I mean, it does. It takes a lot of work. There were times where he would leave his Apple watch at home and not take his phone because he's going on a run. And I'm like, are you really going on a run? And then it's like, I have the intrusive thoughts already from my OCD, but then that took them to another level.

Yeah. And then everyone wants to say when I told Sandoval, like he made me have these thoughts about Brock and Lala, I already had insecure thoughts obviously about Brock because of what he did. Right. But then when the internet started noticing. away Brock and Lala looked at each other on one of my vlogs. And then I'm like, oh my God. Well, if Tom and Rick held it, could Brock and Loll... It was like, that did put that in my head as well. I know Lala never would. I know

Brock never would, but then I was like, but what if? And so... And we didn't even know the part that, like, he actually had been... Exactly. So, I mean, my mind would go crazy. We live next door to each other in Palm Springs when he would go over there to, you know, check on the girls. I'm like, is that what he's really doing? Are they... Like, it just... My mind went. so insane because I'm like, how could Tom and Raquel have done this for so long? And lied so blatantly to everyone's faces. To our faces.

So where do you go from here now that you talked about the affair publicly? Everybody knows what has been the response online? I feel like... Couldn't tell you. I've for once stayed out of the comment section. Oh, really? I know my sister who helps do my Instagram has blocked

some new words. I kind of saw people say, which is so... I mean, you're already used to this is Some people think you're making it up. Oh, right, to sell books. To sell bugs or for attention or, but isn't that, I mean, isn't that wild to you that people think that you would do that? Right. I'm like, hey, honey, so we're going to make up that you had an affair.

You're going to get so much shit online, but it's going to sell some books. Who in their right mind would agree to that? Where did it come from that people think that you want to make everything about you? Like, I mean, it's become kind of funny, probably not to you, but at this point, the joke is like, no, I got it. How does Sheena feel it? Yeah. Has anyone checked on Sheena?

Right. Anyone? How does that do you? It came from, I mean, it doesn't make me annoyed or upset or anything. I'm just like, yeah, whatever. Now I've embraced it. I like to be checked in on, okay? Ask how I'm doing. Ask how my daughter's doing. It's like, somebody has huge news and they're like, check on Gina. You're like, thank you. I'm doing well. Everything's good. But I think that came from a moment when I was in Tahoe with Lala. I'm lying in bed with her. I am going through. just emotional turmoil in my head. I can't even talk to my husband in Tahoe about it because there's mics and cameras everywhere. So I'm just literally, literally suffering in silence. I think I was like texting him certain things like,

because I was like screaming. And then when I found out about dancing with the stars, it was just like the icing on the cake, finding out about it publicly and not from my best friend. And I'm like, that it was something that she knew, Tom and I always wanted to do. wanted to do this show and whatever. Right. You mentioned in the book that you and Tom. But I'm like, two things can be true at once. I was so, so thrilled for her. I was there night after night after

night, cheering her on. By the way, what's up with Dancing with the Stars? Have they ever talked to you? Yeah, it's the same casting director as Masked Singer. Okay. And she does a lot of other shows. So, you know, that was a dream of 20s and 30s, Sheena. It's not a dream of 40s, Sheena. No, I mean. That was a dream of 20s and 30s, Sheena, not a 40s, Sheena? It's not a dream of 40s, Sheena. But you never know. Yeah, you never know. You feel like you're going to stay on reality TV in some way, shape, or form?

Yes, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Okay. Whatever that next chapter is, it'll be on your television screens, for sure. I'm excited. Yeah. Thank you for coming, Sheena.

Thank you. Everyone, go read my good side. It's so good. It's out already. Yeah. Such a good read. Thank you for sharing everything. Thank you so much.

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.