Not Skinny But Not Fat - STASSI SCHROEDER: YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

Stassi Schroeder is here! We chat her latest book You Can’t Have It All, her feelings on And Just Like That as a huge SATC fan, as well as the JLo/Ben divorce.Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny Bonafat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Dossie's here. Hi. Hi. How are you? It's so good to see you.

So good to see you. Mommy of two. Mamas of two. What a thunky. I know. Seriously. Isn't it wild. It's fucking wild.

No, I was thinking about it this morning when I was like talking to like my glum. Yeah. Because I didn't do this myself. Yeah. And I was talking about my kids. And I was just like, I have kids. Like, you know, sometimes there's just a moment where you're like. Because I think saying saying.

the word like kids, which I could, I've leaned in recently. I'm like my kids, my kids. Like, Oh, no, I like it. It feels good. No, I, I, it's like, no, I like it. No, yeah. It doesn't feel cringe. Right. Yeah. It doesn't feel cringe. And it's like, I told my husband, like, it feels like an accomplishment for me. Yeah. Like I did that. I did that. No shit. Yeah. We created two human beings. Yeah, with everything that goes into it. Yes. You know. The ultimate school project. It's insane. Winning first place.

Like, give me the award. So we've talked about this before. I don't know if it was like, no, we've talked about this before like personally, but what are you feeling about the third? A third. Right now? Yeah. No.

Okay. That was different answer than when we talked about it. Well, no. Like right now, no. No, I know. Oh, right now, no. Not like right now. No way in hell.

But like, never say never. I love being a mom. I want a big family. family. I just want to be able to, Bo and I really, this is what I told you. I was like, we really love to travel. And it's already so hard to travel with two that like if we have a third, I feel like we'll just, we would never go anywhere, you know? It's hard. It's because then it's like you need, I mean, even now, do you have the third row of a car? Like, did you get like, no, we haven't

even done that yet. Oh, you haven't done that yet? No. So like, in our car, it's like me and and Bo are the only ones that can be in it. Right. If you want to bring any, anyone else. It's the problem. No, they got it. Uber. We're discussing the bigger car now, and I'm like, if you have a third kid, you have to get the next row. Yes. You don't have the third kid. You can, like, decide if you want to. We still need the next row. But I can't drive a car with a third row. I can barely drive my own car. Like in what way? I'm just not a good driver. I'm not either. And like that. We can admit that, huh? It would stress me out to have to like drive a big car. Yeah. So maybe you can get what, like, one of the car is.

be like the kids I mean yeah but then you're not going to like switch yeah it's hard it's it's hard so but it is a consideration because also two on two is different than two on three yeah and also like a cab like everything is just like getting in cars getting in ubers and and cabs like when we travel like how do you get the car see all of the things it's just too it's so there's so much to it that like when I see families that have like more than two kids I I'm like you guys are champions Yeah. You are champions or you're just like the richest people I've ever met. I told my friend, my friend was gonna, my friend wants a fourth and I'm like, that's like out.

No, I told her it's either really rich people that like don't have anything to do with their money or like the opposite. Or you're just like popping out baby like you don't care. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Raw-dogging these babies. I was like there's no middle. Like nobody in the middle has four. Except like Hillary Duff, wait. Hillary Duff isn't in the middle.

Right. That's true. Are you joking? No, no, no. Like, no, she's not in the middle. Couldn't be more successful. No, but she's also not like Elon Musk or, you know what I mean. Well, I wasn't saying I had to be like Elon Musk.

I was just like need to be like insanely wealthy. But maybe if you have you like split them up like you have a second marriage. But like Courtney Kardashian has four. But it's like 10 years later she had another one. Courtney Kardashian also is extremely wealthy. So like, you know, she probably gets a nanny for each kid. I don't know if you watch the last season of the Kardashians. She didn't have a nanny for Rocky.

I did see that. And you don't want to believe it. And I choose not to believe it because that just makes me feel bad about myself. It's really weird. You didn't get like a, first of all, if I'm having a third kid, I'm like baby nursing it the fuck up. Oh. Which I didn't do with. Did you do that?

Oh, I thought you meant breastfeeding when you said nursing. Oh, baby. No, I'm breast. I'm a breastfeeding. Don't you see these like H's or whatever's going on right now? No, I see like I can't breastfeed my breast reduction and lift just like. made it impossible, which made the newborn face a lot easier for me. Right. I mean, with Hartford, I tried for three months and I was pumping and like barely getting anything out like 40 million

times a day. And once Messer came along, I'm like, fuck that. Yeah. I'm not living that way. Yeah. And that made the newborn phase so much easier because Bo could do half the stuff. Yeah. So it's, you know, you wrote in your book because you're obsessed with like, what is it medieval times? What time frame were you obsessed with? I mean, lots of different time periods. Which is your favorite? Oh, that's tough. I don't know.

Oh, I can't pick it. But you did say about the breastfeeding when you were sharing about it being rough for you and not being able to do it. Yeah. Like, it made you sad because back in the day. Like my, like, no, it truly did make me sad. Like, imagine. What did they do?

You could like go way back. What if I was someone that lived in the jungle two thousand years ago and I had a baby and I didn't provide enough milk for it to survive? like that my, what would my baby have done? Like, I kept thinking that the whole entire time. That's like kind of a sad thought. Did you get to an answer that made you feel better? No.

No. No, no. No, you looked at it like, thank God we have this advanced. Thank God for formula. Well, now you wrote about it in your book. Did you ever talk about that, like on Instagram? Like, people relate to that stuff so much. I don't know.

I don't remember what I throw up on Instagram. Do you? I mean, you post so much, but like, I kind of don't remember like where I say things. Like, do I, did I say this on a podcast? Did I write it in a book? Speaking of books, Sassie's new book, you can't have it all. You can't have it all. The basic bitch guide to taking the pressure off.

Yeah. I love it. Thank you. I love it so much. And it's necessary. You know that in the first chapter, I think, my mom literally just told me the other day when I was saying something about Noah because it feels like he's starting to turn on me. like the delay it's coming delayed like his reaction to lenny yeah like at first I was like oh my god it's not happening it feels like it's happening now so I told my mom I was like and now I feel bad because

I wasn't home yesterday when he got home and I was like saying that and my mom was like you can't be the perfect parent all the time you can't and that's a lot of what you talk about in the book too yeah of course no I have mom guilt 24 7 like I have mom guilt right now I have mom guilt in my hotel room even though like I'm working even though like I'm feeding you guys yeah giving you a roof over your head. Yeah. I still feel like, oh, wait, but, you know, Bo's dropping Hartford off at school every day and picking her up and like, oh my gosh,

like Messer's going to start calling, you know, our nanny mommy and like that while I'm gone. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I still feel all those things. Yeah. But like, we can't, like, parents have to work. I know. There are things we have to do.

Yeah. But it is, it's like a mind fuck. It's a mind fuck. And especially when they, like, what Noah's doing to me right now is like, I want Abba, which is how he calls his dad. And like, I'm like, what did I do? Like, what did I do? And it could be a phase. It could be a few days.

What? Hartford has literally said that to me since she started talking. She's like, I want Papa. You're not my friend. What do you do? I mean, I'm like kind of a tough person. Yeah, you are. You know, like I have thick skin.

Yeah. I don't, I try not to take it personally. There's been a few times when like, I'm like, did she actually really mean this? We're like, I've cried. You know, I'd say like three times I've cried. Probably when you were pregnant and hormonal, no? Oh, that was one of the times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But for the most part, it's like, I, she also loves me and is cuddly. And I know, and she just like turns on a dime. And you never know who she's going to direct her, like her anger towards. Like it could be somebody else the next day. Never, never bow, though. It's like, she is a dad is girl, huh? 100% through and through. But girls are tough.

I heard. They are really hard. I heard. Like, Messer has, like, really filled my heart in a way that, like, I was longing for Hartford's attention. And, like, he gives it to me. He gives it to you. Yeah. That's what they say.

Like, the boy, that's what they say. Some of these things people say are true. Yeah. The girls go with the dads and boys go with the moms until they replace us with other girls. Are you worried? about that? I mean, I wasn't until you just brought it up. Okay. No, that one day it could happen, you know. But anyway, Sassie, you talk about it in the book, you can't be the perfect parent, friend, mom, anything, and how to, like, accept it. Yeah. And what I, what is the wildest

part is that you said that before writing this, you were writing, like, the opposite book. Well, it was before off with my head. Yeah, yeah. I was writing a book on, like, literally so cringe, just like on being a boss bitch, what, in a czarablazer. Girl boss. I wrote that down. I was like, the way you described her is like fucking so good. Yeah. You know? No, that's what I was. But Bossbish, like girl boss is cringier than boss bitch. Like, girl boss is one at cringe. For sure. To me, they're like just like one in the same. Was it going to be in the title? Um, no. I think the title was going to be get yours. Uh-huh. Equally as embarrassing. Equally as embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. wearing like a You're going to be wearing, holding money, like, in your hand on the cover? Listen, this was over four years ago. Yeah.

So there's that. Yeah. But no, this book is the opposite of that. Yeah? Truly the opposite of what that was supposed to be. Right. It is the opposite of what it was supposed to be. It's not like, and I hate to just, like, bring up my kids again.

Yeah. Because it's, there's only, like, a few chapters where I'd talk about, you know, motherhood and how, like, that relates to this. Yeah. it is what made me realize you can't have it all. It is the thing that, that, like, made me get to that point where it's like, before I had kids, I was like,

yes, I can. Women can do anything they want to do. Yes, of course we can. But, like, you actually can't. Like, something's always suffering in your life. Right. Like, I don't have, like, a great social life right now. I also loved what you said that, like,

because some people would look at you and be like, she does have it all, right? but what you said is you were like somewhere in the middle is okay like you don't have to strive to have the best this and the best that and be the best that and be the best at everything you can be like I'm doing pretty okay and that's okay right now yeah like being mid underrated like that underrated yeah people some of you wouldn't say you're mid but but but but but but but it's all well I mean it's all compared right you know what I mean yeah but I love that I feel like that's it's kind of like not skinny but

not fat. That's giving the exact same energy. No, it really is. It is. When I used to lie to people and say that it meant more than just like literal. I used to be like, you're not skinny. You're not fat. You're somewhere in the middle. Yeah. And that's okay. Yes. Yeah. Also just like this feeling of like being content. Like why is that like such like a dirty word? Like why do we feel like content is a bad thing? Right. Content is like kind of a good place to be. Yeah. You know? Because when we're constantly just like, I have to do more. I have to work more. I see other people doing this. So, like, I should be doing things like this. It's just like, it's stressful and not fun. I just actually put up a reel. It didn't do well. Nobody cared. But I had a thought. Some of some like,

everyone will relate to this thought. And like, no one did. No, I liked it. I know. Because I saw it. Oh, the water bottle one. Yeah, where you were like, when did this all happen? When did it happen? I'm telling you. I asked my mom. I was like, did I drink water growing up? No. I didn't. But when I Where did we drink it from? Yeah, because we don't, like, go anywhere without our kids' individual water bottles. And so I'm like, nope, my parents didn't carry around water bottles for me. But that's like, we're over drinking probably. We were parched.

We were parched. That's what I think about Noah too, because Noah's like, Noah's like, Noah, like, eats a bite of a cookie. He's like, water. Yeah. You know, he like runs for a second at the park. He's like, water. Hartford has to sleep with it. Then when she runs into our room in the middle of the night, she's like, my water, my water.

And it's like, you go get it. And she's like, no, you go get it. Right. She needs it right next to her. She needs the water. Yeah. It's a thing. It's a thing. And we were not drinking. But, like, I don't think it's a bad thing. Like, hydration is like the shit, right? Yeah, it's probably good. But, yeah, thank you for relating to the thought that I had that nobody cared about. Would you ever let your kids watch the show?

So, you thought about it? No, Hartford has watched our engagement. Okay. At the cemetery? Yeah, she demands to watch it all the time. No. And she just sits there. Why do I, like, know what you were? It's like... Because it was so embarrassing.

No, the Pocodots. Yes. It was cut off jeans shorts. And I didn't... It was like a side part, but like I couldn't commit to the side part. So it was like half side part, half middle part. And I'm just like, what the fuck was I thinking in this outfit? And you knew you were getting engaged that day.

No. Oh, you didn't. Why would I wear that to my... Oh, okay. Are you for real? No, because at the time maybe you liked it. No. It was a different time.

I mean, I did like the outfit at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. not to get engaged. And I wouldn't say it was timeless. I wouldn't say it was elegant. I wore the bow right here. The bow. The bow for bow. I'm just like making this even worse, like thinking about it. But like, no, not ideal. Yeah. So she watched, you showed it to her probably the first time. Yeah. We showed it to her for the first time. And then now she asks for it all the time. Oh, that's cute though. And she like loves Lisa. So like she wants to watch Lisa and Lisa's involved in that.

Yeah. You know, episode she hosts our engagement party. Did she get it though? Mommy was on TV. Like, she gets it? I don't know. I think she, like, thinks it's just the way that she watches videos. She sees that we have videos on our phone.

Right. I don't think she understands. She doesn't connect that yet. Yeah. Lisa, by the way, I've had Lisa on the podcast. I was like 30 fucking nine weeks pregnant. But I had to have Lisa on the podcast. Yeah.

And she's so, she's, she blew me away, by the way. Riegel, funny. No, but regal. but like down to earth in a way. Yeah. That was like different. You know what I mean? Like she doesn't have an assistant.

She doesn't have this. She like, she was just super cool. Like eating her fig bar during the interview that I ate after because I was hungry because I was pregnant. She left a piece. I was like. But she talked about you so. Fig bar.

Like, like it's also throwing it back. Like those like Newton. A fig Newton? A fig Newton? There's no way Lisa was. Swears. Eating fig newtons. They still make fig new? Yeah, she was eating a fig newton. Wild. That's why I was like, oh, this is bringing me back. Wild. I know. And she loves you so much. Yeah. Like she, she spoke so highly of you. No, we've had like a roller coaster 15 years of like knowing each other.

It's like, but now that I'm an older now that like I'm 36 now that I have two kids, it's like our dynamic. has shifted a little bit. You can be friends. Yeah, no, truly. It's like, it's more of this, like, friendly thing. Like, she, she didn't respect me before, which, like, I never gave her any reason to respect me. I was, like, a little shit working at Sir, but, like, now I feel like a level of, like, respect from her. Yeah.

No, and that's, like, what it sounded like when she was on the show, she was, like, we were talking about James and how she likes him. And she was, like, he's the best reality star that I've ever worked with. aside from Stasi. That's like such a compliment. Are you, you like him on the show now? No, I was saying that I was the, aside for me, so meaning like I'm the best reality star. I'm saying, ever. I'm saying that.

Right, right, right. We'll be right back after the break. You guys, it has started. The postpartum hair shedding has begun. But that's why this time I literally have. had the neutrophil postpartum formula waiting for me, like waiting for me to give birth to start taking it. So the neutral full postpartum formula is especially made for postpartum ladies. So that means, yes, it is totally breastfeeding friendly, which is so nice. You take four

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I have so many clothes for Lenny that like I'm scared he's going to grow and I can't use them and I won't use them. I have like old stuff from Noah and then new stuff that I've been trying out. And one of the most exciting outfits I got this week was magnetic meat. And so many of you told me about it because I remember I posted a while ago because I put some onesie on Lenny that had a one zipper. And I'm like, excuse me. We do two zippers at the leastest. Okay. And then everyone was like, use magnetic me. That's literally magnetic onesies. Easy open, easy clothes, literally an insane invention. Okay, magnetic me is so freaking cool. If you haven't checked them out yet, all of Magnetic Me's clothes have magnetic closures that make dressing time quick and easy, make diaper changes quick and easy.

And I am obsessed. And not only are the closure so good, but the quality is great. The patterns are so cool. They also have the cutest, most unique prints that I want. them all. So these are not only outfits that are easy to put on your baby. Like I said, fabrics are super soft and sustainable. They're gentle on the skin. And the magnetic closures are so quick and quiet. You're not going to wake your baby up during changes. And they're completely

safe to use. You're not going to have a zipper like sticking up on their chin because of the swaddle. Getting my baby dress has never been easier than with Magnetic Me. Trust me, you need to order these for your baby. Go to MagneticMe.com today and new customers will get 15% off their first order. Don't wait, that's magneticmead.com, and new customers will get 15% off their first order. And we're back. So I know you can't say anything, but you're, what we do know is you're going to be on season two of Vanderpom Villa. Yeah. Which is super exciting. Yeah. And I know you can't say anything. I know. It's so annoying. I wish I could. I want to. Yeah. I really do. I know. But I can't. Sooner rather than later, I feel like we'll be able to talk about it. I really hope so. Did you watch

season one. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know there was a couple? I'm sure you know, but there was a couple that was being compared to like me and Jack. Yeah. Yeah. What did you think? I saw the similarities. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. God. Yeah. You know, I'm an expert at toxic relationships. I feel like I didn't have that word then, by the way. No. Like, imagine how we would be throwing it around about Jacks if we use that then. When did toxic become a thing? I don't know. It's so recent. Yeah. It was like toxic, gaslighting, narcissist.

All those words have became huge buzzwords, which I wish we used correctly and more like when it's actually that thing. Gas, I say this about gas lighting. I know. Like, everyone throws out gas lighting. And I'm like, no. But you know where it comes from, by the way? Lighting gas.

So people might correct me a little bit, but it comes from like something about a wife, like, not leaving on the stove, but the husband keeps entering it on and saying that she did it or something like that. like a very specific when like soaves were just gas I guess that makes sense like basically somebody making you feel like you're crazy yeah you left the stove on no I didn't yeah okay but anyway so we didn't have the word for we're toxic about jacks with this couple they were toxy yeah toxic yeah they were they were toxic I know imagine we had it then it would be fucking crazy like what did I describe like what did we describe unhealthy did we just say unhealthy relationships I don't even

know if we were that mature chaotic chaotic chaotic it crazy that probably seems like a lifetime ago what oh be in jacks yes i know no like i was a child you were a child i was 22 like that's literally it's like 15 years ago that's insane 22 right you're 36 i'm 36 we're the same age exactly when is your birthday june 24 so you're out of you're not gemini anymore no cancer you just but you're like you feel like maybe you got a little bit like Gemini sprinkle? Not at all. Really? Yeah, not at all. And you're into astrology, so you would know. Yeah, no. I think I'm like pretty like cancer, Capricorn rising Scorpio Moon and it all makes sense. So is there anything you can tell us about Vanderbent Villa season two? No. Nothing. No.

Oh my God. Yeah. And also a new show on Hulu, which will be your show. Can't say anything either. No, it's, I'm so annoying. And I read that log line, Sassy. I'm so annoying. What, that it's so. I can't, that I'm just like, that it's out there and I can't say anything. Like, I would be annoyed with me if I were you. But it's not, first of all, we know it's not you, but I'm just saying the log line or whatever that's called. Yeah. I'm like, you know what I mean?

Like, it's, it's, we can't understand. Like, usually, like, you're a little vague. It's a little vague. It's ambiguous. Yep. Well, I guess. We don't know what to expect. But how does it feel to have like, I'm not sure you thought reality TV, like you wrote books and

everything. Yeah. Did you think about coming back to reality TV during that time? Yeah. I mean, because it's something that's been a part of my life since I was like 16. Yeah. You know? Like, it's always been something that I did.

So, of course, it was always something that, like, was on my mind. But I wasn't going to do it unless it felt fully right. Yeah. Felt fully right. And things have come your way. Yes. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've had to.

work on things. I didn't just get offered things. Right. I had to work on them myself. Really? Okay. You talked a little bit in the book that there may have been an opportunity to go back to Vanderpum. Yeah. And you were going to, did you have a decision? Like, did you have a decision? It's a long story. Yeah. In there, it was right after I had announced my second book off with my head. And I was asked by a producer to come back. And I had to, like, really think about it. And we, like, kind of argued about it. And I, like, walked into this meeting being like, you know what?

No, because I had seen the reaction I got from my second book. And I had seen that, like, you know what? My career, I think I could, like, keep going and doing it on my terms. Yeah. And when I went into this meeting, he was like, oh, by the way, I'd take it back. Like, I didn't get approval yet. It was like a really messed up situation that, like, I go. into detail

like in the book but it was it was like a mind fuck like you thought wow this isn't be my power moment of saying no but it basically wasn't

yeah yeah and so like I could have really like but it's kind of nice that you knew you were going to say no anyway

thank God yeah because imagine you were like this this is what I've been waiting for I know like thank God yeah

that would have that would have killed me and that would have been coming back for Scandavall before Scandibal so not last season the season before

I wonder. Maybe, because they film them on, they film like a... We're right. So maybe it would have been the season that... Could you imagine you filming with like Tom Sandoval again or something?

Absolutely not. Wow. That really does feel like that's not the place anymore. Not at all. And also, Vanderpump is so up in the air now. Listen, the end of the day, Vanderpump was one of those shows

who just brought it up that they like watch it together. Selena Gomez. And Taylor Swift. Right. It's like... Wild. It's not neat.

Let's put it that way. Yeah. It's like, you know, I remember when I started watching it, I was like, I felt so part of something niche, but it's not. It's like one of the best Bravo shows there have been, you know, that you were part of, and it was such a big, and it's so crazy. It used to be niche. I feel like over COVID, people just like started doing rewatches.

That's, I think, what I did. I like, new people got introduced to it. Because I remember you came on my podcast the first time and I was like, hold on. It was just Van der Boeh, wow, this is like so. crazy. Like I haven't talked about. Because I had so many questions. By the way, people still message me. They're like, by the way, you and Sazer were talking about the ranch scene. Remember I was like, I remembered some like ranch scene and you were like, that didn't happen. I was like it did happen. It was like this whole thing. Well, did it happen? I think it happened in a different way than I described it.

Okay. So I don't even remember what it was. Maybe you had just said like I would be in a bathtub covered in ranch or something. Oh, I remember. Oh, I know what you're talking about now. I was just like making a joke of like, what I would do for an engagement shoot or like a boudoir shoot or whatever. Yeah. Because, like, I think Brittany was doing her, what is that called? What? When, like, you know, a bride does, like, a sexy photo shoot for her future husband or whatever. I mean, I didn't do that.

You never did that? No, in real life. But I was like, if I did, maybe it would be, like, in a coffin, like, in, like, a tub of ranch or some shit. In the tub of rent. Yeah, something like that. I think that's what you were talking about. Yeah. Because I won't forget that that day, like, like, like,

posted about. And I was like, okay, saucy, like enough with the ranch or something. And you had not followed me yet. And that day you started following me and I got so nervous. I didn't see it. I didn't see the post. You probably did. No, I wouldn't have followed you. No, but that's what I thought. I was like, oh my God, she's so cool. Like she, she, no, I probably wouldn't have followed you. I'd been like, no. You had been like that fucking bitch. So we were talking about Vanderpump Rules. The Valley. Did you watch it? Yes. You liked it? Yes. It's a good show. It's, yes. It was a good show. Yeah.

No, I was, I couldn't tear my eyes away. People were, I mean, you probably got blown up because I remember people asking me like, do you think saucy would do it? Do you think saucy would do it? No. No. Lala just had her baby Sosa. I know.

You're still closer there. Yeah. And Katie just posted your book, so all's good there. Yeah. And Sheena? I run into Sheena, like, you know, she and I've never been like besties. Right. But, like, I run into her, like, places and we're fine.

Well, the kids were, like, cute together. Yeah. Like, there's always psycho. a kid's birthday party or something and like it's cool like so much time has passed yeah i've been out of their world like their filming world yeah for so long and you have to like try and you don't have to but like when they're not in like their filming world yeah everyone's a lot more relaxed yeah normal yeah so like i don't have that constant like fighting or whatever right i'm just like bringing my kid to a kid's birthday party and we're just like talking about normal shit.

I know. You know? I was thinking in the book you said, you're so funny, like the way that you write, you were saying about bringing the baby Bjorn to the bathroom when you're taking it. First of all, that baby Bjorn, if I could give one item. Yeah. The baby Bjorn rocker thing. To people.

To people. To people. To people who like, yeah, 100%. Like that bouncer. Like I feel bad. All my photos of like my kids growing up is like in that bouncer. Yeah. Yeah.

No. It's a lifesaver. So, you know what I wanted to ask when I was reading that? I was like, okay, you brought the baby Bjorn to the bathroom? Yeah. To not leave him alone. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to poop holding your baby? No.

Really? I don't know how I've got myself in that situation. You just, like, really had the run. You know what I think it was before baby Bjorn's? Like, there's an age where they can't be in it. You're not putting them in it. Well, like, I would, I used to have the, like, you know, like the little... Like loungers.

The little, like... Yeah. But you can't be. bring it to the bathroom? Yes, I can. Oh, put on the floor? Yeah. You don't live in New York. I don't have that space. Oh, so you've had to go pooh-poo's in public and hold your baby. No, I'm saying New York, my apartment bathroom. Oh. The bathroom is like shower thing you step on. I'd put that thing. I'd put that sucker in the bathtub then. Oh, you wouldn't get to that situation where you're holding it. I don't think I can go poohs at the same time while I'm holding a baby. I did it. See,

accomplished or not accomplished? It is impressive. We'll be right back after the break. You are probably so sick of me telling you this. We have Philadelphia cream cheese. We're using it for more than just spreading it on bagel. Okay, we're making things creamier. But I'm here to tell you again, you guys,

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Visit www.com for more information. And we're back. You guys, you have to read Sossie's new book. You can't have it all. It's so freaking good. The girl boss thing cracked me the fuck up. All the examples you gave of girl bosses. J-Lo.

Okay. J-Lo needs to calm down. I know. No, like J-Lo needs to calm down. I love J-Lo. I am inspired by J-Lo. I watched her the first documentary, she did, you know, the one about the Super Bowl and all that.

And it was like during when hustlers and all that, like, she was just... She wanted that Oscar. Well, I felt like that was really hashtag brave and honest of her to, like, admit. Like, I liked seeing her admit that. But I just feel like J-Lo needs to just, like, let people miss her. She needs to just, like, take a break. She doesn't have to be doing everything all at once, you know? it's like that's your next book it's i mean that's kind of like what this is about you know what i mean

jalo is like the ultimate girl boss that needs to like calm down she needs to just go and vacay i know do you feel bad for the hate that she's getting oh 100% because i also think that like ben affleck uh he is a major part of the problem he could never just smile in a photo with her he always had to make it look like she was making her him go and it's like you're also a Hollywood star. You're not the like Joe Shmo that she... You know how to play this game. You're going on a red carpet. Smile. Or don't go on the red carpet. Or don't go on it. It's like because now like the narrative is like when you see a photo, it looks like he's miserable and she's not. And so of course people are just going to go to like JLo must be making him miserable when like that, you know what,

Ben, just smile. I know. Do her solid. Yeah. Yeah. I feel bad. That actually really did break my heart because like say we're going to say reuniting after 20 years. with like somebody that you thought was the one that got away. No. And it didn't work the second time. And it didn't work so quickly that you know something

kind of like explosive happened. Yeah. But that was such a good example. And you wrote this. Was she a... Oh, no. She was still with Ben Affleck when... No, but I'm saying like,

then you thought she should do less. Whereas now is like all the craziness with her that people have turned. She can't say anything anymore. Yeah. She grew up in the Bronx. She can't say I grew up in the Bronx. I know.

It's not a lot to say it. I know. She grew up there. I know. There's like nothing she can do right now. She went to a bodega. Let her say she went to a bodega. But you know what?

It'll shift. It'll change. It might change now, by the way. Why? Did something just happen? I don't know. I wrote an article. I think maybe people are going to feel a little bad about the divorce.

I hope so. Yeah. Just like everyone goes through phases where they can't do anything right. It's like, look at Blake lively. Right now she can't do anything right. But like that'll pass. A year ago, it was like with, I mean, that's a phenomenon that needs to be studied. I thought Blake Lively.

wasn't untouchable. Me too. I thought you went under that category. Me too. So to see the tide turn this way was honestly the scariest, like... There are no untouchables, though. There are no untouchables. They don't exist.

So Taylor Swift, like, knows that. So she knows something's coming for. She knows. Well, she's also been through it, too. That's true. She's, like, had her fair share of it already. So, like, maybe it's done for her. It's just wild.

So J-Lo was such a good one. There's Kim, which, like, Avi. Emily and Paris was a funny one, because, like, I can't with Emily and Paris. Do you watch the show? I do, but like I hate, but I hate, I hate watch it. I know me too. Yeah. It's like the worst. But it's like so fun to watch. Yeah. But it's the worst. She's a girl boss. And she's annoying. But she like, you know, she like has just like full girl boss vibes like in the like stereotypical sense. Right, right. You know what I mean? And it's funny. I saw Darren Star, the creator of Sex and the City. He does

that. He does Emily and Paris. He was asked like, is it the like new age Emily and Paris? And I was Please don't compare. Please don't contrast. You, huge fan of sex in the city back in the dizzle don't like and just like that.

I loathe it. Oh. From the beginning? From the beginning. Really? I am... My feelings are hurt. I don't get offended easily.

I'm offended. By what? I'm insulted. Yeah. That like people thought that that's what we wanted. Yeah. That like,

I would be okay with this storyline. With Aiden's jacket. No, I don't even remember that. What? That I would be okay with Carrie after Big died. That I'd be okay with Carrie looking over at her friend and saying, was Big just a big mistake? After we went through this whole fucking journey with her to get there, then he dies.

I don't put some respect on his name. Are you kidding? I'm just like, I can't. I still will maybe make an effort to watch it. So I was going to ask you, you're going to watch the next season? I don't even know. I don't know. I mean, I love the character.

I love, I want, it's like comfort to like have the characters there. Like you know the carry run like in the streets. Like people like recruit, like people do that little like. Is that like a TikTok trend? It's kind of like a trend. Okay. Where they like copy her like pounce or the way she like crosses the street. Okay.

Like that I just want. I just, I love that. That's enough for me. That's enough for me. Like, I love seeing Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie. I mean, we've turned on Miranda. We've turned on Che. We haven't turned on Charlotte yet.

Not yet, but there's time. Yeah. You say something about Charlotte in the book. What do you say about Charlotte in the book that I liked? It was something because when she goes back to, I referenced the fact that she'd left her job. Right. To be a stay-at-home mom.

Yeah. And then she goes back. Oh, that's how you said. You were like ignore that she went. back to the gallery. Yeah, like it doesn't count. We don't count. It doesn't count.

Right. No, and it's so true. Like, and it's such a good book to read, especially if you are going through any changes in your life, especially if you don't know what to do with your career, especially if you think you're a girl boss or want to be a girl boss. Like, it's fine to want to be a girl boss. Yeah. Like, we can just like, it's really just about like this constant need for more, more and

just like feeling the pressure to like have to always be doing more. Yeah. Like... Speaking of more, more and doing more, this is your third buck. The two of them were New York Times best sellers. Yeah. Does that, is that in your mind like... Well, it's a little pressure.

Yeah. Ironically, it's a little... This is about taking the pressure off. Right. It's like a little bit of pressure. Like, are you able to like, let go of that or... I think so. I think I am.

But like, you know, ask me in a week. Yeah. First of all, I'm not going to jinx it because I believe in that. But I feel like it's going to be okay. But do you think, are you going to keep... writing like how many books are you going to have i need a break yeah i also need some more you can't just like do one right even though it feels like i did one right after yeah the next like it's kind of like a two year process like so like two years went by uh-huh so it's like two years of life experience

right where like things changed for me and so i had actually things to write about the next two years might be really boring i might not have anything to say i might not have anything to say for 10 years. But as an author now, like, do you live and, like, think about the book? You mean, like, what the next one would be? Yeah. Like, if you're living your life, like, as somebody's written books and, like, it's probably always on your mind.

So, like, do you think of experiences sometimes as, like, oh, this could be good in a book and stuff like that? Yeah. Yeah, but I also think about that in terms of, like, podcasting. Uh-huh. Think about that in terms of reality TV. Wow. Yeah.

Like, which it's like a weird way to live. But you do the same thing with content. Right. You know? Right. It's disgusting. It is disgusting, but like that's... I'd be like, that's a good idea for a reel.

But here's the thing about that. I never make them because I'm lazy to make the like reels that you have to put an effort into. But you do such a good job with your stories and posting. So you have a thought like, oh, this would be really funny if I like did this, but it's like something that would be like a full blown feature film. And you know that like doing it is why like I can't get into like doing TikToks because it's, it really is like creating.

like the Titanic, the movie. You know what I mean? Wait, you have a TikTok. Do you, do you put? Oh, I scroll. I am a very big fan of TikTok. I love being a spectator. Yeah.

I try to post. Yeah. You know, it's like, but I. Wait, what about fiction? Like writing like a fiction book? I don't think I'm, I don't think I would be good at it. I like just write like stream of consciousness. What I'm, how I talk.

It's like how you talk. The fact that you say freaking so much, and I'm like, I know she says freaking. Like, you say that word so much. So you just, like, write it so much. Yeah, so you just write it. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know that I would be good at fiction and coming up with, you know? Yeah.

I just have to, like, write the way I think and speak. Yeah. You had something I wanted to tell you. I made a note of it, you guys, because you said you made a letter to social media that you wish you could take the scene feature off messages. Yeah. You can't. No, you can't. I'll show you.

No, you can. You can with individual people. I'll show you. Well, that's time consuming. Okay, but like, imagine, like, right. Not with everybody, but imagine, like, there's a person that keeps on messaging you and you're already open. You know what I mean? You could turn that off.

Life-changing. It is, because sometimes it's not even, like, in a mean way. Sometimes I feel bad. No, me too. And I'm like, this person will keep on seeing that I see. Yeah. So then you can turn it up. I'm already horrible at responding to friends, family, text, DMs, phone calls, emails, any of it, all of it?

Aren't people who turn on red receipts on messages wild? Oh, I did that for a while to try and be better to try and hold myself accountable. So I was wondering if people do it because of that. I tried to do that so that I'd be like, I have to respond because I just have this red receipt on. And then I just realized, but I don't want to. Oh, my God. Yeah. But no, if we could just like do a blanket at the scene.

feature off Instagram. But will you use this now that I told you could do it individually? I just like don't know if I'm gonna like it's not that there's any one specific person. Oh, you just wish they could all. I just don't want anyone to see other eyes on. What else is in your letter to Instagram?

Well, I talk to Instagram like it's a toxic relationship. Yeah. It's a love, hate thing. It's kind of like I appreciate you for, you know, everything that you've given me. Like, you know, social media has been with me in the middle of the night while, you know, I'm trying to pump milk for my baby and no one else was. It's like social media was there. When I'm in a doctor's office, social media is

there for me. Like, social media is there at all times. But social media. So what are the bad parts about it for you? Making me feel insecure, like I'm not doing enough, you know, all the standard thing. Yeah. All the hateful comments. Yeah. Just like the trolls. Yeah. The people who, you know, user 2-1, 3, 7, 4, 5. Thanks, user. That's not helpful. Thanks, user. Well, Sassie, you're amazing.

You know I love you. I'm so happy for all your success. I can't wait to watch the Ambiguosilo show, Vanderpavilla, season two. Yeah. Your book is amazing. Thank you. I'm sure everybody's going to read it, but you guys pick it up.

You can't have it all. It's out. It's out. It's out. It's out. Listen to it. There's an audio book. Oh, there's an audio book.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, babe. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo.

Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.