Not Skinny But Not Fat - Sweating in Paradise & Giving Birth in the Closet w/ Jade Roper Tolbert

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

Jade, one half of Jade & Tanner (aka Janner), the golden couple of the Bachelor in Paradise Franchise, is on the pod! We discuss what it’s like to be in paradise- the lack of air conditioning, the sweating, the producers, and how it’s different today then it was back then (you would be blacklisted if you talked to a contestant before the show!) We recap this season thus far, and Jade tells us about giving birth in her home closet- yes you read that right, and what it’s like to have 3 children, how her and husband Tanner make sexy time happen amidst all the chaos. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Michelle Kwan. In 1996, the world was in the midst of a massive cultural movement that saw women finally taking center stage. Nowhere was this shift more apparent than at the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta. This audience was the loudest thing I have ever heard in my life. The noise, everybody's cheering, and we see all these USA flags. It was the most important summer.

in women's sports history. And team after team after team, the U.S. women kept winning. Basketball, soccer, softball, gymnastics. I just said, give me mine. Like, give me mine. Join me for Dear Media's Summer of Gold presented by Together.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonafat on Instagram where I spend my time talking shit about. about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best friends in your living room.

Okay, you guys, this week has been fucking crazy. when news was slow that's funny remember it because it's no fucking longer slow well uh biggest news is that Courtney and Travis flew again he flew again can you believe that um not flying for 13 years being in a deadly plane crash where only you survive and then uh you know taking ships all around europe when you're touring with your band but then meeting the love of your life corny kordashian and i mean he said a few months ago we tweeted i know i'm going to fly again i think i might fly again soon and we all knew that he would do it for court he would do it for love and also that between you and i between you guys and i we know that corny cancer ride and fucking go into palm

springs every weekend like this bitch needs to go abroad and she ain't shipping it so they did a cabo thing with chris and corey but now they flew to italy and obviously we saw pictures all over of them we saw them making out everywhere you know almost to the point that i'm like court like must you sit on him at the dolchigabana fashion show like can you sit at your own seat and like are you guys still that obsessed with each other that you're making out at every given moment but yeah they are you guys it's fucking for real it's cravis for life and we're all fucking loving it but there's one person who's not loving it well maybe more than one but fucking crazy you guys unis benjima who dated court who was linked to her

for like a few years actually um and also it was very widely known that the family um including Scott don't like him. They even discussed it at the keeping up a reunion with Andy Cohen. They were like the last guy. He was toxic. He was this. Nobody liked him. This was at the reunion when Scott actually said like when Andy was like, does it bother you when you see court with other guys and he was like, no, I just want to kill them. Like he literally said that. Also, mind you, while he was dating Amelia. So like how can girls be with him when they know how so hooked he is on his fucking ex, who's the mother of his children, also happens to be the hottest woman alive. But anyway, so they're in Illinois. They go to the Dolshkibat in the show,

super hot, super hot, heavy, looking good, proud of sunglasses. They share him. Gondolas all day making out. Him with his head and her ass, like all this shit, right? Eunice Benjamin posts a DM from Scott, okay, that says, well, Scott DM'd a picture of Courtney and Travis on a boat making out. And he wrote to Eunice, yo, is this chick okay bro like what is this in the middle of italy unis answers doesn't matter to me as long as she's happy p s i ain't your bro you guys fucking wild i didn't have air to breathe when i saw this so eunis posted this to his story and wrote keep the same energy you had about me publicly privately meaning if you're going to talk shit about me and make it known that you don't like me

don't try to DM me to talk about your baby mama so let's divide this up to how it was feeling throughout the day when i found this out when i woke up i was like obviously gas blah blah blah then i was like oh my god i feel bad for scott he was outed how is he dealing right now how is his mental health like oh my god he's so in love with corny it's so hard for him to see he just wanted to commiserate with somebody who gets it which is an ex you know like i get it like blah blah. Then I was like, it's fucked up of Eunice to post it. Like, why would he out him like that? Like, have some respect. Blah, blah, blah. Then I was like, wait, it's actually so fucked up of Scott. Like, why is, where does he get off being so entitled? He fucking cheated on Courtney

publicly, you know, and who is he to fucking try to talk about what she's doing with her boyfriend? She is doing nothing wrong. And doesn't he have friends to talk shit about, you're like to talk shit with. You're going to reach out to her ex-boyfriend and try to get him to, like, talk shit about the mother of your children. Also, are you going to call the mother of your children this chick? So, all of that just made me all of a sudden realize that I'm pissed. And of course, there is a part of me that feels bad for Scott. And that is because we know that he's in love with her and that he always will be. So we feel bad, right? But also, like, that's just fucked up. But, I think the part of me that's thought of human nature is like when you're going through something

and you want to talk to somebody who could be somebody that would get exactly what you're going through. Like if you want to complain about algebra tests, you'll talk to somebody who took the same algebra test. You know what I mean? Like if I want to complain about my mom, I'll call one of my sisters. You know what I mean? If I want to, you know, complain about the fact that I ate too much, I'll complain to somebody who I know ate too much last night. I won't complain to my, you know, skinny friend who, you know, doesn't eat, So you get what I'm saying.

But, and then to have that outed, you know what you mean? Like, if anything, Eunice could have fucking said, fuck off. But no, he also posted it. So Scott looks like a fucking loser. Needless to say, he's getting shit probably not only from court from the whole Kardashian-Gener family and probably from his girlfriend, who again looked like a fucking idiot. But I think the biggest bottom line is the fact that where does he have the nerve to do that, especially since he fucking publicly cheated on her in the middle of France,

with Chloe Bartoli, if you guys remember that in 2015, and that's only something we know about and saw. But that's not even the point. It's not of your business. What Courtney's doing? Like, she's not, she's your baby mama. Like, she don't owe you shit. You know what I mean?

Like, oh my God, the fact you're going to try to talk shit with her ex-boyfriend that you hate. So that's why Eunice is like, you're going to try to talk shit with me. Like, you hate me. You talk shit about me. It's, anyway, it's so fucked up. But I think it's just, you know,

human nature for us to kind of feel bad just because we know that he's so in love with her so we feel bad. What's so wild about this whole story is so many things. The fact that Eunice posted a story of him running at the same place that Courtney posted from in Paris on the same

fucking day, you guys. I mean, it is just wild. In other news, even though that is fucking huge and I could talk about it all day, can you guys believe that Britney Spears' dad has trying to extort her for $2 million before stepping down as her

her conservator. Her lawyer, Rosengarde, is literally, we saw core documents of him saying that Jamie Spears is trying to get $2 million to step down as her conservator. Like, are you dead? Like, that's legit extortion. And that's what Brittany's lawyer is trying to accuse him of. He writes, the status quo is no longer tolerable and Britney Spears will not be extorted. Rosengart wrote, Mr. Spears's is a blatant attempt to barter suspension and removal in exchange for approximately two million payments on top of the millions already reap from Mrs. Spears' estate by Mr. Spears and his associates is a non-starter. Having finally acknowledged that it's his time, that his time as a conservator should end, Mr. Spears is obligated to step down without condition and without seeking

to extract anything further from his daughter. Yes, a fucking man, thank God for Rosenegar. thank God that she's not with that ingam anymore who never had her best fucking interest. Oh my God, don't fucking get me started. Oh, my God. You guys, how cute are Zendaya and Tom Holland? It's Zendaya's birthday today as I'm recording and he just posted for her. My MJ have the happiest of birthdays. Give me a call when you're up. Yes, he spelled your wrong. He spelled it why, oh, you are. But you know what? He's so cool that he didn't even go back to check. So he fucked up, but he doesn't care because he's not, you know, an Instagram influencer. But he is posting for his girlfriend. It's so funny because I just posted this week, there was a video on Twitter circulating of their 2019 interview with Kimmel that Zendaya

is like cracking up at everything Tom says. And it's like, and it said like, oh my God, our girl like has a major crush or whatever. And then Zendaya literally posed it a day later a gif of Ray Leota like cracking up. So it's obviously in a reference to that other video going viral, which is funny. Coincidentally, the Ray Leota cracking up gift was also used by Travis Barker, standalone in his stories, probably in a response to the Eunice Benjamin and Scott Dissick shit. Courtney, aside from posting a Bible verse that I needed help with deciphering, had a push article come out, still in love with someone who treated you like crap. If you're currently in the situation or have been in the past,

you know how much it hurts. You're not only recovering from a broken heart, but also the mental damage. Your former partner left you with, i.e. Scott. We get it. If you're still in love with this person, so most likely you let several red flags slide, you were blinded by love and made excuses

that aren't in line with your better judgment, i.e. fucking Scott. So, and then she says, I mean, the Pooge article says, you will come out on the other side and hopefully sooner rather than later, you'll see exactly why it wasn't meant to be and that you deserve so much more, i.e. Travis, motherfucking barker, you guys. Anyway, so fucking wild. This whole situation. And that just gets us to think, what is going to be on the Hulu show? Is all this going to be on the Hulu show? Is all this

happening because of the Hulu show? I don't know. I don't think, I know that people love to say the devil works hard. Chris Jenner works harder. I don't think that. she, you know, uses her family and would do anything, you know, that could affect them negatively. I think that they just have a lot of drama and that's why we are so laser focused on them for so many years. Another Kardashian news, Kendall Jenner is taking on a new role within the fashion industry. She is now the creative director of a luxury retailer forward. It's so funny because in her statement, she said, this position means an additional step in my journey with fashion where I can work with the brands and creative teams I've admired, blah, blah, blah.

I see this is a great opportunity to put what I've learned to practice and most likely learn even more. Oh, most likely, Kendall. Also, Matt James, you guys, is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Have you seen him TikTok? Then go look. If you freaking haven't. No, he's not bad. What's so funny is that on his season, he was so boring.

And when he tried to dance, it was so bad. But on Instagram, it looks like he's so much fun and that he dances well. So it's just we missed him. We missed him on the bachelor, even though him and Rachel are so cute. they're so in love. They're literally just eating their way through the U.S. And I just feel like he did such a smart job of navigating the world after the bachelor. He's like, fuck, Bachelor Nation. I'm going to where Travis is going. I'm going to UFC fights. I'm fucking going to, I don't know. He just, he just did it really, really smart.

His agent manager, whoever is leading the way is amazing. But mostly he needs to thank Tyler Cameron because, holy fuck, what, like, he went from Tyler Cameron's funk mate to to fucking leading lead bachelor now dancing with the stars, got a gorgeous girl. Wow. E-News actually posted that Kristen Cavalry is dating Chase Rice. I know he's a country singer, but I know him because on pilot Pete's season of The Bachelor, he showed up as like Victoria F's X, if you guys remember. Anyway, Kristen Cavaliery's pickers off because all I'm hearing about this fucking guy is that he sends dick pics to everyone in Nashville and that he fucking sucks. So I really hope this is fake news.

Hillary Duff just posted today about her new show, how I met your father. And when I tell you I got goosebumps, I'm watching younger right now. I know I'm 100 years late for you. So I'm newly obsessed with her. I always loved her, but now I'm like so love her. So I'm so excited to see her in something else. I think she's so good. And she's amazing.

And I used together we looked like each other when I looked like her back in Lizzie McGuire days. And that's a huge compliment. So I'll just keep on saying it to myself. Anyway, you guys, I'm having J. that roper tall birth on the podcast. If you guys remember her, she's Jade from Jane and Tanner. She was on season two of Bachelor in Paradise where she met Tanner, got engaged to him. They're married. They have three babies. And she's awesome. So enjoy this interview.

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But how many years ago was? It was forever ago. So, 2015. Yes. So that's, we're in 2021. That's six years and three babies later with Tanner, which is half of Jaden Tanner and half of Janer. whenever you gave birth, I mean, you probably didn't see this. But when you gave birth in a closet,

I didn't know what to do with myself, which I can't imagine what you went through. But you, I was going to say, we didn't even know what to do with ourselves. Yeah, it was really crazy. I mean, it was definitely unexpected. And there was just no, there was just nothing else that was going to happen. Tanner was trying to get me down the stairs. And in the car and I was like, The worst thing that could happen to me right now, Tanner, is having a baby in a car. So we are not going anywhere because I can feel his head. Like, he was already crowning. So it just, we, I didn't move.

I was in the closet trying to get clothes on and I just didn't ever come out except with a baby. But can I ask you, okay, so were you trying to, because when women were always told to like try to stay home for, I had a baby. So it's like, oh, you know, spend the majority of time laboring at home. Was that what you were trying to do? Like you were trying to... No, not at all. So I was just at home. And I had, for a few days before, kind of felt that the baby was coming soon.

And this was like 30... I was 38 weeks. And I called my mom because she wanted to be here for the birth. And I was like, hey, I know you're trying to, like, drive down here. She was coming from Nebraska. And I was like, I think you need to, like, leave soon because I feel like I'm going to have the baby soon. So she had got there the night.

before. And so all that day, she was with me. We were at the grocery store. We went out to lunch and everything and everything was fine. And then we actually sat down to watch, I think it was the finale of the Bachelorette. And I'm sitting on the floor and I'm just doing like butterfly exercises because it's supposed to be good for your hips when you're pregnant for labor. And I'm just sitting there. And out of nowhere, I hear this pop and it sounds like a thunk. And I was like, I think my water just broke. So I go to the bathroom and I'm starting to like leak fluid. And I was like, well, there it is. That's definitely, we're having this baby tonight. I called my midwife. And she was like, well, just, you know, it could be anywhere from like five hours to 24 hours before we probably

really like need to get you anywhere. So she's like, just start timing your contractions. So I went upstairs to take a bath. I was like, well, it's going to be a while. I'm going to take a bath, relax and I got in the bath and it was the most intense feeling I it felt like contraction after contraction after contraction I was like what is going on and I had gone straight into what they called transition which is active labor like the Brooks my baby had already gone into my birth canal and he was ready to like come out so I got out of the tub and I'm like looking for Tanner and I can't find him so I go into the closet and he hears me scream because all of a sudden I I had the worst contraction ever.

I just like blood curdled scream he ran in. And I was like, I am having this baby right now. And so it was just really whirlwind crazy. And my mom, my mom was there. She ran up, started helping me. Tanner's mom had gotten there to take care of Emerson, who thankfully was sleeping. And we called 911. The paramedics got there in six minutes.

They got there in six minutes. And two pushes later, my baby came out. like he was already just there. It was the most insane experience. Is that who you're supposed to call if this ever have it? Like are you supposed to call 911? Well, I guess we were like trying to hope I could make it to the hospital. And I didn't want to have the baby in the car. So we just didn't know what to do. We were all really like, well, Tanner was looking at me with like dears and the headlights look. My mom was looking at me like, I could see she was like afraid for her own daughter. you know, she was like looking at me like kind of scared. And so I was like, just call 911.

I don't know. Like I'm going to have this baby here. So we got to just call 911. So the paramedics, the guy he had the guy who delivered the baby, he had delivered two before in the 20 years that he had been a firefighter paramedic. And one guy, he was like his third weekend. He was still under like probation period. And third weekend. And here he is. This lady is giving birth in her closet. And he's there to help. Oh my God. That is, are you, I mean, I'm sure you live your life with hashtag no regrets and I mean, there's nothing you could have done. But are you kind of like thankful for that experience because it was so wild? Like how do you look at it now? Definitely now. At the time, it was really, really hard for me because it was like birth trauma to me. It was very, I during the like labor,

I didn't understand what was happening. I thought something was wrong. And I thought like either I was, like my life was in danger or my baby's life was in danger. So it was very like traumatic in the moment. And it took a long time for me to process it. But now I can look back and like it's just a wild story and it's special to me. And like someday Brooks will fully understand it and how it's like a special way that he came into the world. And I can find like like the joy in it now, you know. And you've got a picture. Like how did Tanner think to take a picture and all of that? I think that's just the influencer. Yeah, I was trained well.

Because we were going to try to get like some sort of birth video and that didn't happen because of the emergency situation. But I think after like Brooks was born and he felt a little bit safer that the paramedics were there, he just like snapped a photo. But I love that photo. It's so special to me. And I'm I'm really glad he was able to catch that moment. Oh my God. It's so beautiful. And the crazy thing that I'm thinking is like if you would have made it.

to the hospital. It would have been the quickest. Like, you would have been one of those girls that like goes in, poop, has the baby. Yeah, I think I would have had the baby in the ER still. I don't think they would have even been able to get me up to labor and delivery in time. So I'm, I'm glad that it happened at home. Yeah. And then they did, they did take us to the hospital afterwards just to make sure everything was fine with both of us. So. And that's amazing. And then you had another baby after that. So you, so the trauma healed, right? Like you healed from that trauma and you were ready to have another baby. Well, Reed was our surprise. Oh, really? I got pregnant with Reed when Brooks was just five months. And it was my first cycle back and I got pregnant. So we were not planning

Reed at all. But his, actually his pregnancy and his birth actually helped me heal. So it was, it was something actually very like I always call it like my redemptive birth because through that pregnancy I was really able to work through a lot of my trauma and my triggers and then I had him at home in a very like what felt like a controlled situation more for me you know I felt it felt more peaceful and exactly like what I needed to kind of find that healing that's amazing I thought it was in it was a water birth right yeah I can't believe you got pregnant when Brooks was five months. I can't imagine it. Like I have a one-year-old right now and you had a toddler, right? Yeah. Yeah. Five. So how old was Brooks when Reed was born?

15 and a half months. Yeah. 15 months. But yeah, I, when I found out I was pregnant, I just had this feeling. I was like, mother effort. I know I'm pregnant. I know I'm pregnant. And I took a pregnancy test and Tanner had no idea. And it was positive. And he was sitting in the office and I came in and I slammed. I like slammed the pregnancy test like down on the like on the desk and I was like crying. I was like, look at this. Look, you know, I was so upset because I was still, I mean, I had a, I had a baby. I didn't need another baby I felt. And so at first it was really hard for me. But then honestly, after like I accepted it and like bonded with my pregnancy, then we were obviously very excited. And now, I mean, I can't imagine life without re.

he is just the best. And did I, could it be that I read that, like you're maybe not done? I would like another. I think. I think. But Tanner's like done.

I would have been surprised if he goes and just gets like snipped and doesn't tell me. Because, I mean, because it's like numbers wise. I always like, you know, I look at a family of Kardashians and I'm like, it's so fun that there's so many in the house is full

and there are so many kids and whatever. But then when you birth them and you raise them, then it's like, it's like the number is really great like four four kids it's such a great number but what is it right i mean you have three already that's it's it's really wild and amazing and i just feel like every you know mom should be celebrated for doing this job because it's so fucking crazy and hard do you see a difference between your girl and your boys like do you see that was she easier and boys wilder a little bit yes she is yours do you have a boy or a girl

I have a boy, and I owe it. And my nephew before that, I was like, he's so wild. And then my boy, I'm like, okay, boys are just crazier. I think so. So she is very wild in different ways. But Brooks, as a two-year-old, is next level. Tanner always looks at me and he's like, what's wrong with him? I'm like, there's obviously nothing wrong with him.

But I'm like, he's just a two-year-old boy. Like, she used to have, like, different, like, emotional tantrums. But his are, like, ragers. like he will like injure himself you know like all of a sudden it's just like he throws his whole body on the ground and like face plants it doesn't matter if the ground is like tile you know like face plant and i'm like oh my god noah's already doing that should i be worried he's only one i literally posted it the other day i'll i'll just be like and and do that like he's thrott like he's tantruming oh my god yeah oh my god it's so different but he also like Brooks is like the sweetest soul ever like

out of nowhere he comes up and hugs me and kisses me and like well that's what they say that boys like well i make out with noah like people think i'm weird like we full on make out and i post it um but they're so loving and so and i do hear that you know boys are are like mommy's little wave friends and lovers and and maybe girls are a little different but that is wild good for you it's really so amazing watching your family it's so beautiful and you share so much of it on your Instagram. Thank you. And I saw you guys just bought a new house?

We did. So this was sort of unplanned, but it just made a lot of financial sense for us with how the market was crazy. And moving, we'll probably never do it again because moving with kids is so much harder than like, I don't know, when we moved last time, Emmy was, I think, like a little bit over a year. And it was so much easier with her, although we had her and our two dogs. And now we have three kids and two dogs. And I'm like, yeah. And so it's been so stressful. It's like I am never moving from this spot ever again. But yeah, we're here. Oh my God. Yay. And you learn how to do it. I mean, you make it work. Like whatever it is, you, you freaking make it work. You guys, we all want to look like Haley Bieber with her, you know, jewelry stacking, her gold cute hoops and necklaces and everything. And that's where Missouri comes in.

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slash not skinny. So good. You guys. They have everything. Oh my God. I forgot to tell you my dining table is from article. No, I literally can't. It's like, okay, is my whole house from article. They just have such nice thing. So modern. So slick. Just amazing. Check out article and get $50 off. article.com slash not skinny. I also saw on your Instagram the other day you were doing like questions. And you said that you and Tanner plan out your intimate. Yes, we do. And do you really? Yeah. Like what? On Wednesday, we shall. Pretty much. So it's just so hard with three little kids and the mom burnout, even the dad burnout, but mom burnout is so real, like feeling so touched out. And it would probably never happen if we didn't have it because I'm just like, the last thing on my mind is even though

I want to feel that connection with him, it's just not there right now. And I do think a lot of it is breastfeeding hormones. Like, yes. And also breastfeeding. You're like, like literally, you have milk in them, you know? It just, and then if they touch, you're like, wait, you're touching like the food, you know? Right. It doesn't, my body doesn't feel like a sexy, sexual vessel. It feels like I'm just a mom right now and that it has other purposes. So we do like my mother-in-law, she lives not too far away. She takes our two, she takes Emmy and Brooks every Friday night. And so we just have Reed for a little bit.

And then after Reed goes to bed, we have like sexy time. And it's like the only time we can really like get it in that feels like, get it in. That's what she said, right? Yeah. But it really is. So we do, otherwise, we do plan it because it keeps us connected. I know it's important to my husband.

Yeah. On a side, always, it's always they're down. That's what when you were saying, like, he's burnt out. I'm like, when are they ever burnt out? Like, they could always be down. That's true. They don't give a shit, like what you look like. If milk is pouring out, it's like they're down.

Oh, yeah. The other day, Tanner was even sick. I was like, he was like, I can't do this right now. I'm sick. And I'm like, yeah, but I bet if I told you. do like I was ready to go hop in the bed with you, you would. He's like, oh, yeah. Well, men that are sick is a whole different story. Am I right? Like, they have the littlest thing and they're like, I'm dying. It's the worst. And like, you can literally pull the card of like,

I had a baby in the closet. Nobody cares that your nose is stuffy right now, Tanner. Right? Oh my gosh. It's the worst. Even this morning, we were out and about and he got a sliver in his thumb somehow. I don't know. And he was driving. He was like, my whole thumb is numb from this liver. I can't drive. I'm like, what? That is such a dude thing. Oh, my God. I have done crazy stories about this to see what like my followers stories have because I mean, you know, the very known story is when a man will complain about, you know, the hospital chair is uncomfortable while the women give birth. So that happens a lot. And I've heard crazy stories of just. men, but a little paper cut or something and them crying about it. It's just, and the way to describe things, like, let's say his chest herself, he'll be like, I have a hole in my rib. And I'm like, what? No, you don't. Like, literally to describe it. So needless to say, they could never give fucking birth. Oh, no. Ever, ever, ever. Whenever we talk about home birth and somebody asks

Tanner, they're like, oh, did you like prefer that better than a hospital birth? He's like, oh, my God, yes, 100% if she ever has birth again or doing another home birth because you can just like go and lay in your own bed and it's like, he's like, you don't have to sit on that cot thing or the chair they give you. I'm like, that's your reason. Like, oh, like the whole reason is because you want to go lay in your own bed afterwards. Okay. Okay. You're like, we're doing it at the hospital just because of that comment. Thank you very much. Anyway, most people know you. I mean, no, you weren't Chris Solz season? Chris Solz is. Yep. But you're big. like wowza season was Bachelor in Paradise like we said season two were there any success stories

on season one that made you think that it could happen there was lacy and marcus see was on one yeah lacy and marcus were season one and they had the like fake wedding remember they had they got married on the premiere of our season but it wasn't actually legal oh my god yeah so they were like the success story. But honestly, when producers, they asked me, they're like, oh, so you're going to go on Paradise, right? I really didn't want to because there was like at that time within the cast, it was like circulating that the show was kind of sleazy. And everyone was like being like too, they were being too good for it. Like they were like, no, we're to like, I don't want it to like affect my, I don't know, like reputation or something. And so I was like,

I don't know if I want to go on it. And my mom was the one that kind of convinced me. She was just go have fun with Carly, go to the beach, have fun, see what happens. And so I didn't really like have anybody on my mind. I really didn't think anybody was cute. Caitlin's season hadn't aired yet. It was airing while we had just gone down to film. So I didn't really know any of the guys from her season. So Tanner was a total surprise for me. But the minute I saw him, I was like, it was like instant connection. Instant chemistry. Like there's something about that guy I really want to get to know. So it was, it was really surprising, actually. It's so wild because there's something about you that doesn't scream Bachelor in Paradise. Do you know what I mean? Like, okay,

we all know what that means. Um, there's, yeah, but it's still so amazing that you're like, because I remember when Carly came back and I know how close you guys are, but she, like, it was literally like, it worked for Jane Tanner. It worked for Jane Tanner. Like, so, oh, Ashley was saying that. Ashley, I remember was saying that so often how it worked for you and it worked for you and it worked for you. So that's really amazing. Does that feel like the pressure is on sometimes like Jean-Ten or this like staple couple of like holy grail of bachelor nation? Yeah. I actually like that now there are more couples from the franchise, at least from Bachelor in Paradise, because it does kind of take that pressure off of us because it does feel it was kind of like

the way that they angled us. We were kind of boring on the show, but we were like the perfect like it just like arched perfectly. And then they ended up with an engagement and then a wedding and now babies and it's it's like sometimes I just want to be a real person and like show like sometimes marriage is a little messy and you know like we're people we're imperfect people we're humans with flaws and it's it feels like a lot of pressure sometimes so I like that's why I kind of like to talk about things like we have to schedule sex like we're not just like this couple that has like the perfect everything and the perfect sex life like we're normal people with like real lives and real like things like our children are constantly crawling all over

us, you know? Yeah. So it definitely is a lot of pressure, but I do like, I think that's why I like to talk about like the real side of things. It helps, helps me not feel so much of that. And you also have a podcast with, with Carly. Mommy's tell all, right? Yeah. Okay, so you guys should check that out. And also I want to talk to you about Badger and Paradise this season. I know that you went on your Instagram and you were saying some things that like we're giving me anxiety, like how hot it Like, you could tell how hot it is. Like, they're sweating and it's gross and, but you were saying, like, they don't, you don't have AC in your bunks.

No, you don't. So it is terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. So it is like 90 to 100 degrees every day without even like considering the heat index and the humidity is terrible. You are constantly sweating and then add in like sand and it's like the sun. And it's, it's really not great.

I, I didn't poop for 10 days because of everything. Because of what the food, you think? I think it was, well, I think it was the food, the dehydration, the sun exposure, just like, just the conditions. And at night, it's still 90 degrees out. So you're sleeping just like sweaty, gross. They don't change your sheets. There's sand in your bed because you're just constantly in sand. And it's pretty miserable.

They don't show how, like, awful the living conditions really are. I mean, I think when you're older, like, you know, and more uptight, like me, for instance, like, I'll notice it, right? Like, they'll flash, like, over to, like, someone waking up. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's so small. It's so crampy, like, I could never. So it's easy to not notice them and just like, oh, they're on the beach, blah, blah, blah. But, like, but you can see it if you're looking for it.

And fucking Kelsey was almost fainted. Like people almost faint all the time. Like I feel like I'd almost faint. You're like standing for hours. There's no. So, and you were also saying that the only place they put AC is in the confessional room. Mm-hmm.

So somebody said now that the boom boom room has AC, so that like encourages people to go into the boom boom room. So that wasn't in our season, but that must have been something they implemented. But yes, the only rooms that have air conditioning that feel like they feel like heaven is the interview rooms. So a producer will be like, hey, you want to come like cool off for an hour and come talk to me? And you're like, yes, please take

me. But what would be the reason for no AC in your in your rooms? It is an eco resort. And I did have some people message me like, oh, I've stayed there before. Like, there's only a couple rooms that do offer air conditioning and the rest don't. But they still didn't give us like very good functioning fans. They have like these tiny little. little fans at the end of your bed that do nothing. And only like half of them have it. But I think it's because they want you out of the room. They want you out in the social circles and talking. They just want you laying in your bed all day. So they want you to like make good TV. And so they're sort of like forcing you out of the room because it's just uncomfortable. But aren't guys really

gross when they're like sweaty? Like I don't know. I feel like you meet somebody on a first day. don't you want to meet them like smelling good and like with cologne and like not with pit stains and grease? I don't know. It'd be so hard for me. I feel like I'd literally have to say no. Like, thank you. No AC. Like is a deal breaker. It's it. Yeah. It's not attractive at all. I don't know how people actually really do like find each other attractive on this stuff. Well, you're drinking all day probably and that helps, right? Yeah. And you stay in the pool a time. Like you spend so much of your time in the pool. True, true, true. But I don't see people in the ocean that much for some reason or they didn't just not show it. They definitely don't show it. And when we were on

our season, there was a like a tropical storm at one point. And the waters there are really rough. So I know Ashley, I Kennedy got pulled in by the undertow at one point. I remember Tanner and I think it was like Dan Cox who was on my season. At one point they said they were just out in the water talking and they didn't realize that they had been like pulled out by the tide too far. And they were not in danger, but they still had to have the life guards go out and get them because they didn't even realize they were being pulled out by the tide. So they kind of do it as a safety thing now. I'm not sure they let anybody go in. Okay, you guys, most of you heard me talk about this before pros personalized hair care. That's my shindig. The way we take care of our skin and our body and

you know, all those things. We need to take care of our hair. You know what I mean? We need good, good hair product. When I started using pros, I noticed that I could go more days without washing it, that it's smoother, and that it's just amazing. And I love that it's personalized. It says my freaking name on it. And I know that it's catered to me because I took a freaking hair consultations. It's an in-depth hair quiz. It asks questions like, you know, obviously your hair type, your habits, what you're looking to achieve with your hair care products. And even your zip code to really, really blend a unique blend just for you to treat your exact concerns. What's important is they have a review and refined feature, which lets you tweak any of your

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but I think my leaving conditioner ended one. So I used the pre-shample hair mask and I would leave a little bit on, not wash it all out. it would just make my hair really soft and smooth. So check out pros, you guys. Pros.com slash not skinny, get 15% off. Okay, I want to get your thoughts on this season. Couples that we have so far, mostly what's on my mind from the last episode are Noah and Abigail.

Just because from their conversation, I didn't know like, well, I'm not, I'm still not so sure about gaslighting and what it means. I feel like I always need to rush my memory. But I'm kind of like, who's like, is she gaslighting him? is he gaslighting her? Like, it was such a confusing conversation.

I'm like, what's happening? What did you think about that? I haven't seen this last episode. I need to watch now. I'm sorry. No, no, don't worry. They are kind of like the way you were describing you and Tanner. They kind of seem like a comfortable couple that are just like lounging all day,

drinking mimoses together. And then all of a sudden, Abigail is just like, it feels like we're kind of, you know, not as hot and heavy as other couples. And then Noah is like, well, now that you say that, I'm like offended by it and kind of like blows up the whole thing, even though she just wanted to talk about like what's happening. And I don't know, because I liked him and I like her. And I'm just trying to figure out like what's going to happen because because they kind of are talking, they feel kind of friend zoned. You know what I mean. Gotcha.

Yeah, no, I have to know. I have to catch up. I feel like from what you're saying, it sounds like she was just wanting to maybe like establish their relationship. ship and see, you know, like, see what they were if they were an actual item and then he just got offended or something. Like she maybe went around like the passive, aggressive way around it and was like, well, I just don't feel like we're as strong as other couples, like wanting validation. And then instead he just got offended. And then. Well, that's what seems to be like kind of happening all this season. It's like someone will say something for validation. The other person

be like, oh, that means we're going to be with other people. Okay, bye. And then like off they go. like Kenny and Mari and then he goes off with Demi. What did you think about that? What do you think about Demi in general on this season? She came to like kind of stir shit up. It's very confusing, I feel. I don't know because she, I definitely feel like she's this there to kind of be like her sassy self

and mix the pot or stir the pot for sure. But I'm not, there's definitely like a disconnect from her and like the newer seasons, which I definitely can relate to. Like I being like an older cast member, I can't relate to like this generation and all. It's definitely Gen Z to me. And I'm so it's such a millennial.

So it's such a different dating pool. Yeah. So I feel like maybe that's, even though she's young, but there's definitely like some kind of like disconnect there. Do you feel like it's changed from your time also because everyone is so aware, more aware of what can happen after? So everyone goes in with,

like agendas and you know yes when we went on our season we were not even allowed to talk to each other so this like nowadays people have like pre-planned couples and if you remember on our season a pre-planned couple got totally blasted it was joe and samantha and samantha became this massive villain because of it and now it's like people do that all the time like they have these they've all know each other. They all go to these events. They all already have like hooked up with each other. And that was never even allowed.

Like if you had done that and producers found out, you would have been blacklisted from going on the show. So it's so different now. And these people do know like, oh, if we're a couple and we make it till the end, we're going to blow up and there's all these opportunities. I do think that is something that people consider nowadays.

Not saying there's no genuine connections. Yeah, that's the hard thing about bachelor nation now is like that disconnect of like, yes, this process can work. We've seen it. It happens. It still does and it has. But that doesn't negate the fact that a lot of people, most people at this point, go on for the wrong reasons.

And if they find love, then they find love. What's so wild to me about this season is Joe. It's like, I can't get over Joe. First of all, I think we all need to refresh our memories. Joe went home night one on Becca Casey's season, you guys. So literally like, dream big because you don't know what the fucking happened. What, when would anybody ever think that going home on night one would get you as far as Joe? Like he got up dancing with the stars.

He has a Bachelor nation podcast. He, you know, he is, is America's sweetheart right now. I, I have even heard, um, his name and they're running for the next bachelor. So it's like, yeah, dream big. Dream big. Because like anything can happen. Well, that means that him and Serena don't work out. I don't know.

I don't know. That's just something that I've heard circulating, so I don't know. But I do think that they're cute together. But I think Joe is so endearing. I would like, if he was lying and was straight up telling me a lie, I would always just believe it because he's just so sweet. He is. I'm like, lie to me.

I don't care because it just seems so genuine. I know. He seems so genuine. And especially when you're putting him in contrast to a lot of the other people, then he's like even more. He's like a god. So that's why everyone is falling at his feet. and um when he's just like a puppy dog you know legit yeah legit and he deserves the best but yet

i mean the age difference doesn't bother me it's more so that him and kendall legit broke up just because of distance so i feel like the first question for serena which i didn't see that they had was like would you move to chicago because that's a fucking deal breaker yes or no you know what i mean because he literally opened up to her and said kendall and i broke up just because of distance she lives in california i live in chicago neither of us were willing to move so I was like, wait, Serena's Canadian. She legit lives in Canada. That's even harder. Yeah. No, it's not actually. Oh, what is that? No, we're both bad at geography, but I just checked. Yeah. No, I mean, like for her to move, would that be harder for her to move? Oh, because of like citizenship stuff. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. That's the thing. That's why I was like,

wait, I feel like this should be a topic of conversation. But anyway, I know you have to get to another thing and you're super busy. But tell us what's up with you now. What have you got going on? What can people look forward to? I do have my podcast. So people can check us out at Mommy's Tell All. It's a fun podcast. I have a Carly all about being Mommy's. But I do have a really cool sponsorship that I wanted to talk about that I'm doing right now that it kind of applies to being a mom, I feel. So I have been working with luminous and getting what's called smooth glow treatments. And it has been such a game changer for me. I am like somebody who's always been sort of like intimidated by skincare and getting anything too invasive done and is completely non-invasive. And I have felt like such a huge change in my face. It's my skin is tighter. I look like I feel like my skin looks more youthful. I don't even feel like

I have to wear makeup half the time because my my complexion looks so like flawless. And it, one of the reasons why I really wanted to do it is because I feel like I look tired all the time. I don't get any sleep still. Reed still wakes up like twice a night. And I'm just like a mom zombie. I'm a mom be. Mommy. But it has made me feel like when I wake up in the morning, I look less tired because my

skin looks great. And so it's just like a little pick me up for myself. But I really like was really excited when they reached out for the partnership because I was like, this is perfect for me. And it's been such a great amazing thing. Even Tanner was like, you look like you have a baby face now. And I was like, well, your skin looks amazing. What is it called luminous?

So it's called smooth glow. And it's by luminous. And so they make the machines that does the treatment. And they're certified providers out there for everywhere in the U.S. So if anyone's interested, they could find a certified provider. But what is it like a laser? So it's two sequential treatments. So you do an IPL.

a laser, like a light, a laser. Afterwards, you do what's called a micro-needling with radio frequency. That's what it is. And so it's smaller needles. You don't have to do the numbing cream. And it's like barely, like you barely feel anything. And if you have any kind of pain, like for me, it lasts like 15 to 20 minutes with a little bit of throbbing. And then that's it. And I'm out the door and I can go about my day. But it's really cool. And I was like, okay, this will be nice. I'll like see some results and I am blown away. It's like I am really like amazed at how much better my skin looks. And I didn't even know that my skin really needed that much improvement. But it's it's it's been amazing. And how often do you have to do it? So they recommend

three to four treatments and I've done three out of the four. So I still have my last one. And then they say it helps stimulate your own collagen production again. So I'll even see like even better results 60 to 90 days past my last treatment. So it's amazing. Well, thank you. We're always looking for new, new ways to, you know, keep up. And it's just, it's just coming out. It's like a brand new, like, technology.

It's, it's kind of like ahead of its time. And it's really, I'm, I'm really, really impressed. So I just wanted to throw a shout out to my sponsorship. Awesome. Well, thank you for sharing that with us. Well, check it out and, you know, do just another thing in our life. like that you know we don't think we need but then we do um jay thank you so much for coming on i know you have to go but it's been so fun everybody go check out jade on instagram her podcast mommy's

tell all and everyone else thank you amanda thank you bye thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of not skinny but not fat follow me on instagram at not skinny but not fat subscribe to the podcast you don't miss any episodes rate the podcast they you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening

and I'll see you next Tuesday.