Not Skinny But Not Fat - TOM SCHWARTZ IS DOING OKAY

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Schwartz has been doing a lot of introspection. He's drinking green iced tea, unsweetened. Almost a year after Scandoval, Tom is focusing on his own life: he’s dating, he’s working, and he wants to move on from what nearly ruined his life. We talk about his divorce, how he was left to deal with the wreckage Sandoval left behind, how they repaired their friendship, what he thinks of the castmates reactions to the scandal, his status with Katie Flood of Winter House and more!!!Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Dear Media IRL is back, and we're showing up bigger, better, and louder than ever. Join us on May 4th in Austin, Texas for the ultimate live podcasting experience. Watch and learn from your favorite dear media hosts as they bring their insightful discussions from your headphones to the stage. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and watch audio get a makeover. Tickets are on sale now. at DeerMedia.com slash IRL. See you on May 4th in Austin, Texas. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from

Not Skinny Bonifut on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening, and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday. and just feel like you're talking to shit with your best friends in your living room. You guys, Tom Schwartz is here. Whoa. Schwartzie. Hi.

Do people still call you that? Yeah. Schwartzy. I love when people call me Schwartzy. It reminds me of LVP. And no one says it like her. It's just like, Schwartzy. Oh, she says it.

Schwartzy. Swartzy. Nice. I want to show everybody the hat. It used to be maybe slightly controversial to Rocker Schwartz and St. and now? But I feel. Yeah.

For little me. Wait, I got you another present. What? Yeah. Is it a friendship bracelet? Gime Moriel and Jim Toronto. No, you didn't get it for me. I did.

You're a fucking liar. I did. I really did. Stop. Yeah, I got Lori one too and I knew I was coming into your podcast. Stop. And I got an extra one. Oh.

See? That's it. You bought my love. This is so cute. Look at me rocking. By the way. Oh, and we match. Yeah.

I would wear, I'm going to wear it. Thank you. Yeah. I'm very sentimental these days as I get older. I'm nostalgic, sentimental. Thank you. Yeah, well, I think you also, like, are in a point in your life you've been through so much and you kind of have seen who stuck around, who turned.

Yeah. Yeah, I got my ass kicked the past few years. Yeah. Life comes at you quick. I think I just had it like too good almost before. From like, after we got married, there was such a cushy phase in my life from like 2016 to 2020-ish. Yeah. So cozy and happy-go-lucky. A lot of levity. Love levity. Shout out to levity. Yeah. Sorry. But I don't know. Then it kind of all came crashing down and I don't know. The divorce.

My family fell apart. My dad. My brother. The bar almost broke me. My God. But you know what's cute? It seems like when we watched you on the show in businesses, it always seemed like Santaval cared more. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's what it seemed like. Yeah, I can see from the editing. Yeah, totally. But like, I just want to tell people you walked in the studio, you were like picking up chairs, trying to see where everything's from, touching, banging on walls. So it seems like you're really into it. So it almost feels like, tell me if like this is a wrong assumption. Like maybe when the scan of all thing happened, you had to take more responsibility. Like it did like good. Yeah, I did. I mean, we were tasked with the unfortunate task of kind of spinning up the mess, the post, you know what of all. Yeah. We don't say that word anymore. I mean, I did. I mean, we were tasked with the unfortunate task of kind of finning up the mess, the post, you know what of all. Yeah. We don't say that word anymore. I mean. I mean, I mean, I mean, because it's right people have you know what of all fatigue yeah and it's like it's like when i hear that word it like rots my mind it goes like i go like i go like this i get the thousand yards there you can't say it anymore i can't the thing that happened i could say it one last time okay you want me to well scant of all i'll say it's out it's out i mean but there is some fatigue yeah

so when you had to deal with all that yeah you have to step it up yeah i did and it was intense I mean, the bar business is tough enough as it is. Opening a bar coming out of the pandemic, you know, our sophomore project. And it's just, it's just, man, it's so many things went wrong. But we persevered. And I feel like I'm a stronger, better person because of it. I think it really forced me to mature financing a bar is wild. Because some time you don't consider like, because you were like, how many percent do you guys have?

We have 5 percent. And it is, it is not a lot of percent. It's not. We're minority stakeholders. But I got to say, we put our whole heart. It's in there and I freaking am so proud to be. But it was like easier because you were like the face and not the back end as much. I'm not wealthy, but like, you know, we, to the tune of almost seven figures, we financed

ourselves. What the shorts and sand? Yeah. So are you guys 50-50 or the other guy has some? No, we're not 50-50, but close, close to that. Pretty much split three ways, more or less. With the, what's his name? Greg.

Greg Morris, our partner. Does he like you guys? Yes. Okay. You can't always tell. Sometimes we drive him crazy. And, you know, like, in the beginning, you know, we butted heads a little bit. It was a little tumultuous.

But I feel like we're all getting along swimmingly now. We honestly, the vibe has been so good lately. And we just had like our first DJ. We got a new sound system. Sorry if this is boring. I want to plug Schwartz and Sandy's because I'm freaking proud of it. We're revamping the menu, new drinks. Wait, are there sandwiches?

Not yet. Because like, I feel like, okay, for fans, they know it's Schwartz and Sandis. Yeah. But, like, I would think maybe there was, like, a sandwich. Um, Schwartz and Sammy's? Yo. Well, people say Sandy's for sandwiches. They don't?

Unfortunately, I don't think there'll be a collaboration with something about her anytime soon. Oh, right. Can't touch sandwiches. Yeah. No sandwiches for you. If there was to be a sandwich, I think, I've ever had a muffaletta? Oh. Oh, I didn't.

Forget about it. It's good. Oh, my God. Wait, so it's doing well. The bar people are coming. Yeah, it's bouncing back. It feels so good to say that because I just, I got so much of my emotions and identity tied up in that place.

Yeah. It's sort of just consumed my entire life in every way, shape, and form. I mean, do you think that's why it's a big reason

of why you and Katie split? I definitely contributed to the demise, but I cannot. You can't blame it on that. I cannot scapegoat the bar on our marriage, you know,

but. Because if not that, your marriage wouldn't have survived this scandal of all. Like, that wouldn't have, not then. I'm trying not to dwell

on negative hypotheticals because I have a bad habit of doing that. Wait, I do that. So I do that for a living. Because I was thinking it, I was thinking it, though. I was like, if Schwartz and Sandy's didn't happen, would you have to stay together?

And then my step two of rationalizing was, if it was rocky, it wouldn't have survived the ball. I have put some thought. And I've reflected on this. If it wasn't for the bar, would I still be with Katie? I don't know. I will say this. I love our dynamic right now, me and Katie, because it got, you know, we pretty much cut each other. She cut me out of her life.

after the incident with, you know who. And it was strained. But I missed that. I missed our friendship. And I feel like we're in a good place. I don't see her a lot. But I still love the shit out of her. And I'm always rooting for her.

And like when I drop the dogs off, we just, you know, we send each other memes and stuff. And it feels good to have our rapport back a little bit. Yeah. Because I still love her so much. And anyways,

I'm proud of her. If she wouldn't have ended it, would you have, you think ever? It was ending. It was the right decision. But with her without yield or do you think, would you ever have the balls?

Because it is. At the end of the day, like anyone that breaks up a longstanding relationship, it's gutsy. Like, I look at people and I'm like, I'm less sad for people. I'm happy for them because I know how hard it must be.

And if you did that, then you must be like sure about it. Totally. And by the way, huge advocate of divorce and separation as opposed to staying in a toxic role. It was never toxic. It just kind of,

oh, I don't know if I want to get into this. Katie, sorry. Well, I love Katie. I try not to dwell on the past right now. You know, I'm trying to look forward. But, like, you know, I think, you know, it just kind of fizzled out a little bit. Yeah. You know?

But my question is, like, because she did it. At the end of the day, she picked up the Band-Aid or... With class. With class. And she was very deliberate. She sat me down respectfully and told me, like, I don't, this isn't working. And you didn't fight for it. I just felt it was, it was the right decision.

And also you, but that's my question. Do you think you would have been able to do it? I don't know. Yeah. It is. Have you ever broken up with someone along? I don't know, but that's, I always think about it when people break up. Like, you really need to have, first of all, you're hurting the other person.

Yes. Second of all, you guys were together. 13 years. So many years. I mean, we survived 10 years of reality TV. I remember when it was coming out. I didn't believe the rumors and I texted Katie like, this isn't true, right? And she's like, no, it is true.

Yeah. Like I almost didn't, not that it seemed the healthiest or the best, but it's just, Just like you see two people, they know each other so well. They've been together for so many years. Yeah. And like, here you are starting anew. Yeah. It was a doozy coming out of that relationship.

But I feel like we're both in a good place now. Yeah. Nothing but fond memories when I close my eyes and think about our relationship. But if I was watching this show as a viewer, you would hate you? Yeah. I'd like, that guy is a douche. Wait, because you, I mean. But he's a lovable douche.

No, you are. Thank you. But how to, so that is like a thing. with you. You get away with shit. I mean, you got away with, you're kind of like, oh my God, you guys, I have it. Want to know who you're like? Oh, God, I'm scared. No, don't be. Scott Dissick. Scott Dissick? You want to know why? He's funny. Yeah. So it's a compliment. I like him. Scott Dissick fucked up with Courtney so much. Yeah. Did you ever watch the show? I know of it. I know just enough to get the reference. But like, we didn't turn on him. Yeah. However, like, Tristan fucked up on

Chloe we turned you know and still to this day it's like oh scott and corny scott and Courtney and it's like we remember we saw on the show him fucking up but we were like it's Scott you know and you did get the benefit of the doubt of it's Schwartz he was drunk he was black out he didn't know he went he came back you got that for many years I did honestly thank you thank you for not losing faith in me but like I think back sometimes I'm just like my god like not like I've, I'm not on a moral high horse or anything. I still have my faults and I'm still evolving and growing, but I look back and I'm like, my God,

I was so sloppy back in the day. Yeah. I mean, I would get annihilated, like, sloppy. You don't get that like that anymore? I can never get that way again. I mean, I still like to go out and have a good time. I'll get drunky once in a while. Yeah.

Do you want to? Oh, you're pregnant. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you for forgetting, though. Sorry. So nice. You forgot.

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Restrictions apply. Getting dressed is not an easy task, okay? People should say thank you. We're not just roaming the streets naked. But honestly, like we give celebs such a hard time when they get styled by stylists every day. And we just have to be out here raw. hogging it on our own? Well, correction. No, you don't need to be raw dogging it on your own. That's why there is Stitch Fix. With Stitch Fix, you get a stylist who understands your style, your size, and your budget, and they do the shopping for you. I know this is a wild idea, but it works. So you go on the Stitch Fix website and you fill out this really detailed quiz. They get to know your sense of style, but like so meticulous. to the point of skinny jeans versus flare the way you like your long sleeves fitted if you like

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You can feel it. Get started today at Stitchfix.com slash not skinny but not fat. And you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. Stitchfix.com slash not skinny but not fat. First of all, I said this off camera a bunch. So this is the last time you're going to get compliments. But like you look so good. Thank you.

You're with the en suite and green tea. I mean, that order is, like, very healthy. Thank you. Like, you're in a better place. You can tell. My body is a temple right now. Yeah. I mean.

But you can tell that you're treating it better. Thank you. I feel better. Yeah. Do I look a little, just, I got a little, I got more levity. No, you, well, you love levity. I love levity. Yeah.

The hair is still like feeling. Did you like the blonde era? I wasn't like hating it as much as everybody else. Yeah. Why did everybody hate it so much? I was like 90% hate. It was 90%. No.

was 90% hate. And like so many people did it. And then you got like ripped. It was a preventative measure. It was a preventative midlife crisis measure. Yeah. And it worked. But it wasn't for a long time. No. We'll see it on, we'll see it on the show. We'll see it on this season. Yeah. So good news is that your brother is doing well. And it's wild that you have triplet. I mean, we just like pass over this. You have triplet brothers. I do. Like bought like naturally your mother gave birth to triplets. She had can happen to anyone. It could happen to you. That's, Wild. When you're in there.

No. Thank God. Like when I saw one sack, my sister at Twins, so I'm aware that things can happen. And it's wild. Because people always think it must be IVF. It was natural. But it was just she literally went. That is a lifelong sentence.

She's so small too, my mom. Really? She weighs like 100 pounds wet and she had my sister than me. And then they're like my mom and my dad are like, let's have one more kid. And then she pops out triplets. Wow. How would you, could you cope? It's no.

That is, listen, you guys, when your body's making a baby, you can't not feel it. Like, your blood is, I think, 80% more or something. Your heart beats a gazillion, everything. So triplets? Like, how does your body sustain that? Like, I'm both aware and tear. I mean, I have so much respect for her. And then what happens to you when the triplets are born?

Are you like? I was like a surrogate caretaker kind of. Really? How old were you? I was three when my mom had that. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was three. shout out to the triplets if they ever see this it's wild yeah i love those little yeah are you a good

big bro i am a good big bro yeah loving caring i tried to guide them as much as i need some guidance too i need a life coach can you be my life coach amanda yeah i'm pretty good at it feels kind of therapeutic really i'm glad vibing good it's so nice kind of shout out to new york city my favorite city in the world i mean you are like rocking well you did buy a you did buy an i love new york Beanie. So you really commit. Schwartz goes to visit a place and then he like loves it so much. I love being in tourist mode. Wait, but do you love L.A. that much that you've like stayed so many years and we kind of asked you before if you see yourself moving and you said no. How do you feel about L.A.? Well, I'm here, you know? I don't know if I would move. I talk trash about it, but I do love it.

The only time I go to a dark place is with L.A. and I'm hypercritical is when I'm in mind-numbing soul-sucking traffic. You have to make peace with it. You know, I try to be stoic, listen to podcasts and stuff. But like, other than that, yeah, I love L.A. It's everything I hope for and more. Really? Yeah, it's a land of opportunity, the city of angels. Oh my God, stop. Right. You're being like too positive. Yeah, well, I got to cool it. Yeah, calm down. I got to cool it on the positivity. Wait, and you move from that big house, so gorgeous and nice. Not that your apartment doesn't look. It does, but it's like, it's a big change. Can we talk about my apartment? Like, it was. I mean, the plan's good for you.

Thank you. The plants, they're very therapeutic. Somebody, I mean, you're, it's a thing now because I literally posted a plant. By the way, have you heard of an easy plant? I mean, not that they deserve a free plug because they didn't even send me this plant. But it's a good, easy plan to take care of you guys, by the way. And I, no, not here. I don't live here. This is a studio. I just keep asking. I want to live here. I touched, I caressed everything. He literally is on shrooms. I'm not in an accident. He's not. You also did pre-med. I was. Is that how you say it? You did pre-med. I did and I graduated, but like, you know, there's no pre-med at Florida State University. So you pick one of the sciences, you know, biology, exercise physiology. So did you think you were going to be a doctor? My heart was never in. I was like, I would rather play a doctor on TV. Oh, so you wanted to do TV. Yeah, I wanted to. My dream was to be on a procedural, like CSI Miami type of vibe. I never wanted to be like a movie star. No desire to be famous. You just wanted like the day job of it. Yes. Middle class Hollywood, maybe make a millie a year. You know. That's so specific. Yeah. But how are you pursuing that dream? Honestly, I'm not a great actor.

I wish I had a monologue prepared for you or something. So you feel like you didn't succeed at it because you weren't good? I'm an okay actor. Like I booked commercials. I booked a lot of commercial print stuff. Like, you didn't see my cold school. No, you did modeling and stuff. You didn't see my Modelo commercial?

Wait, you're great. What years are from? Probably like 2014. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I saw your Madame Webb club. Wasn't that a great concept? Well, here's the thing. Let's rewind. I was shitting on Madame Webb as is the entire internet. Do you know how much it got on On Tomatoes? No. 13. I haven't seen it yet. It got 13%. I love the cast. And then, I mean, yeah, you love the cast. Okay. Wow. You love Dakota Johnson. I love the guys as if it's like some underground like theater actors Dakota Johnson and Sidney Zweeney. I didn't. It was awesome. Did you like. Well, it's. Well, it's. It just is funny after the whole internet is shitting on the movie to find out that, like, the commercial you guys did for it was a very scandivali. It was kind of cheeky. It vaguely alluded to it at the end.

Right. If you remember, that was one of my favorite gigs ever. It is a very cool gig. It was so fun. The whole crew was so awesome being on set. It kind of resurrected my love for acting. Really? Not saying I'm a good actor.

But I don't know. I could be a version of myself. I couldn't be a character actor. How did it feel for you to be a model? Were you like, modeling? Have you done print work? No. Well, you do photos shoots and stuff.

Well, I do photos shoots now. I love it. Just put a fan on me and I get into it. I like, listen, I joke around. Like, one of my reasons I moved to L.A. was to get, like, waking up early in the morning. First of all, I'm a morning person. Not obnoxiously.

Love the mornings. Like what hour. I love waking up at like 9.30. 5, 6 a.m. Shut the fuck up. I like waking up early. I love being on set getting my makeup done. Wait, usually you wake up 5.30s exam.

The dogs wake, I'm the dog's bitch, Gordo and Butters. What, they wake you up that early? Gordo does at six usually every day. No. But like, I love a full walk. Yeah. That's exam? Yeah.

But anyways, I love being on set. Like, having your picture taken, eating delicious food. I know. It's not hard. It's the dream. By the way, if you're out there and you're thinking about taking a shot at, you know, acting. You can maybe do it. Here comes to the positivity again.

I know. You want to do the career that like 3% of the people, 1% probably. Yeah. You're so, no, you're too positive. I got to chill. What is happening? But you were doing modeling stuff. Yeah.

You're also like, what people forget is that you're a smart dude. We use that term loosely. No, I don't think so. I mean, you also have a very big vocabulary. Big words don't make you smart, but I do. How do you learn them then? I do love me some words. I used to have a little notebook and I would just write down words and memorize them

when I was young. It was massive. I lost it. When I moved to L.A., I lost it. But I always had a great appreciation for, do you wordle? No, but I noticed, like, Katie, I remember, was using some words, too. Yeah, I love a good big word. Yeah.

Would you guys just, like, play? That was the least eloquent thing I've ever said, ironically. You guys should just literally play, like, just use big words. Can you want to drop a big? What's your favorite big word? Well, no, I won't forget when Katie used Magnanimus. That's a great one. But it was wrong, and I called her out on it.

Whoa. Because she called, like, a wedding venue guys went to look at McNanimus. Yeah. And I think it wasn't used correctly. I like the word Chadenfreude. Do you know that one? Is that in German? It's like taking pleasure in other people's misfortune.

Say it again? Chaudenfroid. Yeah, it's German. Oh, you can't just say another language word. No, I mean, is it in English? It's been adopted by the, yeah, it's kind of colloquial. Wait, say it. Wait, say it colloquial. Coloquial.

Colossent it's like you're losing it. Oh, wow. But Chaudenfroid, it's like you're outside, you know, you say you're on, say you're on Broadway and you see someone rollerblading, they hit a stick, they fall. You laugh, you're like, you know. I know. Taking a little pleasure in someone else's misery. I feel like there's a reason you think of that word.

It just popped in my head. It just popped in your head. There's a lot of Schroed for the viewers on Vanderpump Rules. Oh, you're talking about the viewers. Yeah. Like not the cast. Yeah. Yeah.

Viewers. It was wild to me, though, on this one of the last episodes that Sandoval said, and I want to know if you agree with it, which it was a really, I mean, shocking thing to me to hear, that he said to Shina, I think, that Ariana was the least vindictive of everybody after the scandal happened. Did he say that? He said that. I've seen all the episodes.

I don't remember him saying that, but I mean, he literally did say that. I mean, yeah, I mean, she kind of was, she was fairly tight-lipped and she just refocused. I mean, the ultimate glow-up. She's like on a whole different level now. She's crushing a Broadway dancing with the stars. Yeah. I think she did a pretty dang good job of navigating a very twisted, bizarre situation. that she kind of had to go through in front of the whole world.

Does she still hate you? I don't know if hate is a strong word. I don't think she's... Okay. In these episodes, she hate, to me, to a viewer, it looks like she hates you almost as much as she hates him. I don't take it personally, but yes. It hasn't gotten better?

I don't think she's team Schwartzy, but like we're cool. It doesn't feel uncomfortable when I see her. You weren't cool on the show at this point. No. So you're cooler now. Yeah. She would say hello? I slowly have been trying to charm my way.

back into her. I know. It's not, it wasn't working on the show, though. It's not where it wasn't landing. No, I give her plenty of space respectfully. But why does she hate you so much? I think it has, because she thinks I was like an active co-conspirator, I think. Do you feel like you were one though? No, I just, I was so consumed in my own world. Like, you know what I mean? It became this like worldwide sensation. And it's like, oh my God, it like completely overshadowed my whole life. And I kind of had my identity stripped away. I feel like, not to cry. Like after. Try baby.

But yeah, it was intense. Yeah, but you're saying during, like you knew about it, but you weren't like, oh my God, like consumed by it. I just like figure your shit out, handle it. I just, I could not be bothered. Do you think that the fact that a lot of the girls think that it was your responsibility to betray your friend, blow up his spot basically without him doing it himself? Like, do you think that assumption makes sense?

Yeah, I totally understand that perspective. Like, you understand. It's just, yeah, I just. Like you wouldn't, I'm assuming you wouldn't do anything differently. No, I wouldn't. Really? No, no, no, I would. I would.

I probably, sorry. Wait. No, no, no. No, I would. I would, I would have held them more accountable. I wouldn't give an ultimatum, but it's like, it went on, just not to talk about that. I know everyone's over it, but it just went on far too long. It was like egregious.

Throw out a big word for you. Oh. I love the word egregious. No, because I'm just, because when I was watching it in terms of your, taken it. Yeah. I was one of the people that was saying like, wait, just to be clear, we expect his best friend. And then everyone was like, well, Ariana was a bridesmaid at his wedding, a groomsman at his wedding and referenced that moment. Because really aside from that, like, it's not like we got a deep look into your friendship, yours and Ariana. So we had that moment. It was a cute moment

at the wedding. But I didn't necessarily agree that you needed to betray a friend. Yeah. I mean, it's just such a twisted situation. Yeah. My brain just shuts down when I talk about it. I can tell that. I'm just like, ugh. But, but, babe, this is. But like, you have to understand. Yeah. We're living in last year. I know. You're not. I know. I know. I mean, make the editors go faster. But it's like, but we're, right. We're living in that. Yeah. So, like, that's where we're at. Are you digging the season so far? It's a slow burn in the beginning. But it's, it's, there's a lot of funny moments. And it's, yeah, it's got a lot of. It's got a lot of. a heart. Yeah. Well, listen, Vanderpump is my baby. Like, I'll love it forever. You know, even the high is the lows. Yeah. I also don't judge anybody. Really. Like, I kind of take it as like, obviously, I know everybody's real people and I'm like friends with someone. Like, I'm aware. But I'm also watching the show to be entertained. Yeah. And not to like get angry with people that have done nothing to me. And I, and I never understood like how people get so fired up. But they have sort of invested 10 years with us.

And it's like they feel like they kind of know us. But this is my question. Are they fired up only on the internet? Like, have you had a point where someone comes into Schwartz and Sandy's and is like, fuck you? Or like they always are like, can I have a picture? Because it's that guy. That's a great question. No. Honestly, there's such

a strong sense of like support and community in the bars. People are so positive. So no one's been negative in the bar. Constructive criticism. And not face to face. People are lovely. But like a group think is dangerous like the mob mentality online or when people get together like you know in peak you know what of all like people were graffitiing the bathrooms like teammate it got scary we

had to close down one night because people were doing that at your place yeah there was someone called in and made like a vague threat about just like I don't know if I want to say it but like shooting the place up or something I get oh my god crazy and like most for the most part those people need to be like locked away take a breather people it was like mania people lost their minds what do you do about Yelp, though, because Yelp when they were evil, when I saw the Yelp thing, that was another thing where you know, because I kind of

not trying to be a devil's advocate, but I just kind of look at things differently sometimes. And I was like, okay, hate him, whatever. This is a business. Like, you can't do that. Like, the Yelp reviews are supposed to be. I'm sorry that I take this seriously about the place. Thank you. Reviews mean something.

They mean something. We're still great on Google, but Yelp were destroyed. We went from 4.6 stars to like 2.3. Can you do anything about it? We're working on it. Okay. But that really hurt, man. I was like, come in and if you genuinely don't have a good time, you should have to be

geo-located to leave a review. Right. You should have like a receipt. No, that's like, that's the thing. Like Airbnb, like you can't review the fucking house if you weren't there. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, I guess that's, that's the double edge sort of throwing your name. Being a public figure, throwing your name on the side.

If you fuck up in your personal life, you know, they have a place they can apply pressure. No, I mean, your situation, I'm sure, also made other people think about it. Because, like, when you opened, you were like on a high, you didn't think that anything like this would happen. I mean, I did have a moment. I'm not going to be Mr. I told yourself. Yeah. And I was like, you know, like, we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard. If we're going to put our name, plaster our name on the side, you know, like morally.

Why? But if it was called something else. I feel like it would have been significantly less seat. Oh, you think the name thing. Because you're still on the name thing. I mean, we were the faces. He was the face. That was the place.

Yeah. Like, we're kind of, it's just, man, we had just gotten into such a sweet spot. We had finally gotten a rhythm after two harrowing years of trying to get. I know nobody gives a shit. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. But for me, this turned my life upside down. No, and you seem like part of you feeling better and looking better and everything else has to do with the, like, the business.

I need more compliments. Oh, my God. No more. Amanda, one more. For you. You said on the show or in an interview that like you and Tom had to go through like a couple's therapy situation. We did. And you're better now.

We're in a much better place. Most of it stemmed, you know, from professional for most of it was because of the bar, the business. Like that you had to say. He had jeopardized my half a million dollar investment. Yeah. Anybody would be upset in that situation. You know what I mean? Probably more upset than you.

Exactly. I feel like I was fairly easy on. on him, honestly. But I did take a long, much needed break. By the way, was it really that long? Because on the show, people were saying, like, you said the break thing. Looks like the next day you're like hanging out. That's funny. I didn't really talk to Tom for almost three months. Just like maybe a nicety. I took a long break from him. Just because, like, my life, you guys, I don't want to sound like I'm victimizing myself. I'll take radical accountability. I'm trying to take, yeah, it really threw a wrench in my life. And I'm very upset with him.

But, man, I guess I'm a sucker for Tom Sandoval. He drives me crazy sometimes. Did you create any different boundaries in the relationship? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was an unspoken understanding. I didn't.

What? Like, how do you feel like moving forward you're going to be in a better position? Well, we have a great line of communication. He's like a brother to me. Oh, my God. People are like, ew, rolling your eyes right now. But I love that bastard. I do.

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Stacey hated him. Shout to Stasi. I love you, Stas. Katie always hated him. Yeah. I use hate like very. No, I get it. Yeah, yeah. It was love hate.

I don't know. Mostly hate. Yeah. So like, and, you know, the audience of Bravo always had something to say about. It's like no one was like, sand of all hearts, you know? It wasn't the vibe. So to me, part of the success of Scandivan why it was such a, you know, is because he was like, you don't know why we don't like him.

Like, he's a good friend. He hasn't fucked up like on his girl. And I feel like people finally were like, you know what I mean? I feel like if it was someone likable that did this, like somebody that, if it was someone that was liked, sorry, not likable, that was liked, then maybe the turn wouldn't be that. crazy, but I think the people, he just got into things with people. And I was one of the people that for years was like, what do you guys want from Zanavall? Like, look at what a good friend he is. Like, look at what? Yeah, he's a lot annoying. So, so to me, that's part of the thing where I was like, people didn't like him. He was a polar. He's always been. I don't

know if contrar, wait, what's a, what's a watered down word for controversial? It's just polarizing on the show. But he's entertaining. He's just so fucking Tom Sandoval. You know what What aren't people seeing in him? So that's my question, that you are, that you're like, why weren't people getting, aside from the cheating thing, that he's great? Why aren't people seeing that? If he's, like, a great friend. He is.

He's a really good friend. And he's so thoughtful and considerate. He, like, always remembers birthdays. He always gets gifts. Right. He gets you things. But he doesn't, he doesn't do it for self-satisfaction or attention. Like, I feel, I got a little defensive because people kind of retroactively went back.

and just trashed his entire existence. Yeah. And I get it to some extent, but I think it went too far. It got dark. Man, he went to a dark place. Yeah. I know. I'm not going to campaign hugs for Sandoval again.

But, like, dude, he went to a really dark place. And also yesterday was actually the birthday of one of his best friends and my close friend that passed away this year, Ali. So shout out to Ali. It was his birthday yesterday. And the last time I hung out with him was at the standard hotel and meatpacking. Really? So I went over there yesterday and took a shot for him.

Yeah, he's a breakthrough. And Tina did too. That scene was a little weird. The Shina and Tom scene. No, especially like when she's, first of all, that he came. Like, what do you think of the fact that he came to Sir that night? I think it's great. Yeah?

A little exposure therapy. But he came with Kyle Chan. Yeah. Are you guys really friends with Kyle Chan? Yes, Kyle Chan's one of my best friends. He's more than just, oh, one of your best friends. Yeah, I love Kyle. We just got back from Southeast Asia together.

Stop. Yeah. Because we know him as like everyone's jewelry dude. Yeah. But he's actually your friend. Friend first, jewelry. second. Really? Yeah, I love Kyle Chan. He's a supreme elite human being. Wow. Yes. At Sandoval's

birthday that you left. Yeah. Did you even come back? I just wanted to show up, give him a hug, show a little love. Why? Because at that point, you weren't We were cool. Yeah. We were cool, but I still was taking space. You are. And I wanted to show some love for the girls, DJ said. Was the party actually that lame? It was cool. It was cool. Yeah. And by the way, yeah, I know all those people. That's like, it's like, it's like his band members and some other people. Well, because people were saying it's like not friends. Those are great human beings.

No, you would think that he could have like more of a fun party if he wanted to. It wasn't a banger, but it was cool. Yeah, man. And what do you think of James showing up and thinking they could have like a talk about everything there? I thought it was very mature of him. Of James. Yeah. What did you think?

I thought that why would he think that he could have the conversation during his birthday party? I know. Honestly. The timing seemed off. It devolved really quick, but, you know, I think they get there. I don't know. I don't know. I'm careful about how I phrase this.

I don't know where Tom and James are with their friendship. But you and James at the point in the show, you're, you're, but he hated you last season. Hates a story. He literally threw a drink at your face. I mean. You weren't close last season. I don't know if the drink of the face was earned. He was upset.

Yeah. I had clearly upset him. No, I'm not saying it was earned. I disrespected him. Well, yeah, that's the thing. At that point, you were pursuing, supposedly, a hookup vibe with his ex. But here's my question about James. I never was really, honestly.

It was just like, yeah. So what was it? We just don't have any chemistry. You and Raquel? No, that was a bad kiss. It was just, by the way, I'm a very good kisser. I pride myself on that. It just, that was just, it was just not.

So what was that? It was just awkward. I don't know. Forced by. No, it just, I don't know. alcohol, I guess. When in Rome, why not? type of situation. But people

saying that it was like a decoy. It was not a decoy. Like you wouldn't have gone that far. Yeah. And if I knew what was going on while they were there, I certainly wouldn't have made out with her. So at that point you had no idea. No, I knew that they had had an encounter. Oh, but I didn't know that they were still going. Yeah, no,

it was wild. But okay, I want to ask about James. Yeah. James being this intense about what happened. does that make like as a viewer I'm trying to understand like like if I was Ali yeah I would be like why do you care so much I totally understand that perspective I think he just I think he just felt like violated you know you hooked up with my ex fiance who you helped plan you know our engagement party for like they had a very tight bond but James does he care about Raquel or does he care about Tom I think he just feels disrespected by his actions you know as like like he said for

him it was ultimate betrayal yeah the ultimate i mean that's a little dramatic i mean maybe it's a little dramatic yeah but like he was hurt and tom was like a brother to him you know because tom was a good friend i think another thing like that maybe i was trying to justify it is that tom was a really good friend to james yeah like when everyone hated james because there was that time tom was like bringing him to dj and toilet paper or whatever yeah when he was down in the dumps tom was always an ally yeah him and ariana we're both james allies they you know you guys say Ariana, you and Katie? How do you say it? Everyone? How does everyone say it? How does everyone but you say it? Do you say Ariana? Yeah. Ariana. Why? Her name is Arianna. I don't think so. How does

Sheena say it? I don't know. I think Ariana. Should we FaceTime her? Wait, speaking of Sheena. I was telling you before that you guys seem close this season. Well, I think I felt, I felt like safe to go chat with her. I didn't feel like an outcast around her. Right, because Katie at this point not so great. Ariana hates you. Lala never was that into you. Yeah. No, me and Lala are tight.

You're good now? Yeah. Oh, good. She's one of my close friends. I don't see her a ton. She's so busy and she's a mom. But like, I love Lala. I feel like we're closer than ever.

We're closer than ever now. Oh, good. I think so. Lala? What if she's like? I know. Lala. We have like a good little inside rapport.

We check in with each other. She's hard on you, though. I know. She's a ball buster, but I like it. Yeah? Give me Lala. Give me Lala. And also, I mean, there was that scene that we have to talk about where

Ariana, you kind of like, you're always kind of nice. And then it kind of comes out. Like when you told her that she's like acting like Queen B or. I mean, I know. I kind of felt bad because like, like, did you say something about like ego? Yeah. I just felt like a little in that moment. And by the way, again, I'll say it.

She did a pretty dang good job of navigating that whole very twisted situation. And like, it just was this large and the life mania. But in the moment, it felt a little like dictator-esque. Like mean girl vibes? She was just speaking for the other group. And so I know. Anyways, yeah, I felt. But you took it back right away.

Do you feel like you do that? You're like, you say something. Like you said it. And then you were like, I didn't mean to say. I didn't mean to say that. But like you meant it at the moment. Even if it's warranted, justified. When I'm mean to someone, I feel rotten inside.

It, like, it pains me. Physically pains me to be mean to people. But maybe sometimes it needs to come out of you. And you need to say, like, what you think. I think I, like, spaz out, like, two to three times a year. Yeah. I do. But, like, try and maybe next step is like, don't take it back.

Whoa. No takebacks. No takebacks. I don't know if I could do it. Try. Because then it, like, no, I'm firm on my opinion, you know. Okay, I'm a little upset that the plants in here are fake. No takebacks.

No take back. It is not my house. Okay. Winter house. That was an interesting. I know. You guys, what can we do that that filmed in 2012?

Like, that's what we're going to, it was life for you at the time. Yeah, I know. By the way, the best reprieve of my freaking life.

Yeah, you could really tell that was real for you the like, thank God I could get out of L.A. It was bliss. I don't use that word lately. And then you were also desired.

A little, I hadn't felt, thank you. That was the least sexy I'd have ever felt in my entire life. I could imagine. I felt like a schmuck. I could imagine. I in my mind thought, you probably didn't think that you were going to have that vibe. I, like my aura was gone. My Schwartz was lacking.

What do they call it? Your mojo. My mojo was dismal. Fucking Katie, Flutty. Flutty. Liked you. Flutty is one of, she's so fucking cool. Shout out to Flutty.

I don't know if she'll ever see this, but I'm a huge fan. But why do you ever like really invest in that? I don't know. It's just, I don't know if we friends owned each other, but it's always been very. No, not each other. Well, what do you mean? Maybe you. Well, I don't know.

I just, I wasn't looking for love in that moment. I just felt so not sexy. I felt like a putts. I don't know. I just felt like my God. And I don't keep crying about it, but it just felt like my life was falling apart. So you didn't expect to hook up Had no mojo

Yeah But she must have brought some of it back Oh I was so flattered Yeah Obviously Flutty's like gorgeous Yeah She's I've said this many times Which for me she has like essence

Of like a 90s supermodel Yeah No she's very attractive She likes to throw in strung out in there A little strung out Flutty's a gangster man She's so she's so savvy and smart And good at what she does

But also I love her humility and her ability to be self-deprecating. Yeah. Anyone with an accent is just better, you know? Totally. And cooler than we could ever be. I know. And we're going to see your little dating situation this season with Joe, right?

A little bit. Yeah, we weren't dating, but we were just hanging out. She's a dear friend of mine, and I got a lot of respect for her. And yeah. And what's your situation now? I'm just chilling. I don't know. I'm not, I'm just hanging out.

I'm not dating? Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm being coy. But I'm just chilling. It's like, I don't know if I could have a 13 relationship. I feel like me and Katie are kind of doing the same thing. We're just kind of having fun hanging out.

But you're also 41. Whoa. Why would you say that? Because Katie. Take it back. No. In L.A., in city years, I'm like 34. No, first of all, you got a lot of compliments today.

I did. Okay. You got to bring me back down. And actually, it's a compliment because, like, people need a reminder that you're 41. Who could, did you do a big thing for your 40? No, I didn't do anything. Was it during the time? Very anti-climactic, yeah.

No? You can have my birthday glory if you want to it, yeah. Do you like birthdays? I mean, I appreciate some attention. A little love. Any attention is. Yeah. I'm not like fly to Vegas, you know?

Yeah. You should have a podcast. You like to ask questions back. I kind of dabble in Tom's. I'm kind of his, I guess I'm a co-holtz of sorts. Oh, really? Yeah, everybody loves Tom. Sports and Sandy is the rebrand of the Tom.

Wait, speaking of podcasts, Rachel came out with a podcast. Do you call her Rachel or? Kel. I think her name's Rachel. So you reference her as such. If I was to see her, which I have not seen her in a very long time. But I would say, hello, Rachel. Another iconic moment that is referenced in the Madame Webb promo you did was the beat battered wife. Maybe it's my favorite. That was my, you know, you're not over it yet. Like, you're not fatigued by that. That's my favorite. Maybe my favorite episode. Maybe aside from our wedding, even though I know we're divorced now, the wedding's very sentimental and special to me. But that's my favorite episode.

Why? It's fucking hilarious. I was. literally blacked out for three days. Were you peeing, pooping, or just sitting on the toilet? I think I was just doing a little session. I was just pouting. For sure, the toilet was closed? I'm 90. You're not sure.

I don't think I was pooping. Yeah. I think I just needed a breather from the cameras and everything. Sometimes when you're filming and you're wasted, you're falling apart. In that moment, you just know wasn't like set up, wasn't like there was nothing. He literally just opened the door. How did he kick the door? open. Why was it locked? Yeah. Drag or whatever. One of our cameramen, shout out to Jay. I think it was

Jason who did the pan there. That was a good pan. Beautifully shot. And just that whole weekend, it was one of my, one of the best trips of my life. But I was a disaster and I was an asshole, too. To Katie. Was Tom the only person in your life that had that perspective that you were like the, the wimp and the relationship being like, you know, getting steamrolled by. Right. No, I had heard that before, but sometimes it felt that way, but it's not true. Yeah. Yeah. There's moments that felt like that.

Yeah. But I don't want to, I don't want to speak ill, you know. The Valley. Are you making any appearances on it? Can I say, I have a few cameos in the Valley. You do? I know all of these people. You were supposed to be on the Valley.

Yeah, I know. I mean, like technically. Yeah. You were supposed to be on the Valley. You know about this. Yeah. That was kind of the direction our show was going. Yeah.

And then some shit happens. Does that feel any type of it? No, I'm super happy that I think it's going to be a success. Yeah. And you and Jacks now are like super tight. We're super tight. Has it been that way for the last few years or has it gotten more? No, me and Jacks have been good dear friends since I met him in 2009.

We've never stopped being a buddy. Oh, really? Yeah. He's one of my best friends, yeah. Huh. I get, it's really like looking back at Vanderpump history. It's wild. And then like, you know people hated people, but then you're like, wait, that's Katie hated him.

But I don't know if you stopped talking to him. Like there were so many moments. So you were close all along. You never, no, but I feel like he, I feel like he has grouped you in with Sandoval. With the whole. Yeah. A little bit. Like, I don't feel like he, yeah.

We've always had a separate friendship. Yeah. And I think, I think that Jackson Tom are, are cool again. Do you guys care that he's opening a place? Does it feel like competition? No, I go there on Sundays. And I, karaoke Monday. Shout out to Jackson's out.

Oh, it's like open. It's working. so fun. Yeah. We're going to do, we're going to be doing like crawls. Maybe start at Sir, Tom Tom.

We're going to hit Jackson's, then make shorts and Sandy's or vice, you know, yeah, we're going to do little crawls. Do you see a future of Jacks coming back to your show? I mean, listen,

I personally think Jacks is a great reality television. Right. I mean, I don't think anybody would say differently. Like him, like pretty much everyone on our show. I honestly think I have no business being on reality TV, but like they are,

I think they're kind of iconic. They're so good at just, being themselves for better or for worse. But everyone on the show at some point has gone through like almost unimaginable pain and shame and but they've been radically

honest and I respect everyone for just bearing their souls for all these years. I know it's literally our job but like man we've all been through it at this point. Yeah. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm singing a sad song. I'm just saying I'm grateful to be on the show and it's I love those fuckers. Those are my family. Do you see yourself ever

stepping away willingly? Being over it. It feels like we have, it's like a family, too, with like production, everyone behind the scenes. I love it. I feel like it still has a lot of life left. Am I Dululu? Am I do, do, loo is a solulu. I mean, listen.

Anyways. I would love to see it go on. I think it's got, it's got gas left in the tank. Okay. We just have such a deep well of history together. Yeah. We're like, you know, there's always more. There's always more.

It's a really good season, too. There's a lot of funny moments. I hope people keep watching. No, of course we're going to keep watching. Thank you. Thank you for being here. This is lovely. Thank you for my bracelet and my hat.

He's not buying my love or anything. Thank you for the compliments. You guys, I don't need to tell you to watch Vanderpump Rules because we're already watching. Nice to be here. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast.

We don't miss any episodes. rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. interest in products or services referred to in this episode.