Not Skinny But Not Fat - Unorthodox w/ Bat Sheva Haart & Robert Brotherton

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Robert Brotherton and Bat Sheva Haart from the hit Netflix series  that we’re all obsessed with “My Unorthodox Life” join me on the podcast to talk about what it was like filming  the show, how they are dealing with the backlash from Monsey and rumors that the show isn’t real, Bat Sheva explains where she’s at now religion wise, and Robert shares the status of his current relationships with his biological mother !  Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Do you want to start a company but have no idea where to begin, or do you have dreams of becoming an influencer? Well, The Life with Mariana podcast is here to help. I'm Mariana Hewitt, a Los Angeles-based influencer and co-founder of the Clean Skin Care Line Summer Fridays. Each Tuesday, I'm talking to my friends from business owners, wellness experts, and more to share all of their best advice for you to live your best life.

Make sure to tune in and subscribe to my podcast and follow me on Instagram at Mariana underscore Hewitt to see what's coming up each week so you don't miss an episode. This is Amanda Hirsch from the Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. You might know me from Not Skinny Bonifut on Instagram where I spend my time talking about reality TV, celebrities, everything happening and pop culture. I also talk to some of our favorite celebs and reality TV stars. We talk about what's going on. Tune in every Tuesday and just feel like you're talking with your best friends in your living room. You guys, I am so freaking excited.

I became obsessed with my unorthodox life on Netflix, made you all watch it. And I'm so excited that one of the star, I mean, fucking the star, Robert Brotherton. You're welcome, Robert. Keep it up. I like it. I like it. Keep going. I mean, I'm going to feign. I'm going to fain, you know,

my humble life. But honestly, like, let's keep it going. I first want to say Robert Brotherton that my followers and listeners know that when I call somebody freezing, it means they're skinny. So I'm going to say you're fucking freezing right now. You're freezing cold. You're shivering. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I've been thinking about a Patagonia sponsorship. And it is just, I am manifesting. this shit. I am so cold right now. I've like attached an entire coal sculpting machine to my whole body and every little piece has been frozen to death. So I really appreciate the you noticing it, you know, hard fought. First of all, it's so, it's so noticeable. And I'm glad that you got

it so quickly the reference because I mean, OGs get it, but it takes a minute. But if you think about it, like skinny people are always cold. It's chilly out here for a skinny bitch. Yeah. Like, I'm like, turn on the AC. But like, you need a fucking Patagonia jacket. So my gosh. That or North Face. You look amazing. And I just for let's start up with this. You're a star. So like, how are you just like working in an office every day before this reality show? Like you're meant to be on television. Like you have everything for it. Like how does this not happen yet? Okay. I went into this kicking and screaming and dragging my feet and not wanting to. to do it, but also kind of wanting to do it. It's like one of those things. And I thought I would be like a total C character, which I was super happy about. But then as we kept doing more and more of it,

I was like, okay, I'm kind of enjoying this. So let me just like throw this piece in here. Let me just drop a nugget here. And you know, it kind of worked out. Yeah, that's a I love that because you could have so easily been just like Julia's sidekick with totally adding so much, right? like humor and you guys have your inside jokes and the family loves you and you're like

you know part of the family but then you brought in like your personal like a few personal pieces but a huge personal piece that left us all bawling and that couldn't have been I mean if that was like not reality TV I would have believed like it was just

so unreal I mean could you have imagined that would have gone that well you know reaching out to your birth mother finding or meeting her I had absolutely no clue how it was going to go. And like the day I stepped into that room and was the first day I saw met even conceived of this individual. So I was totally like in shock and awe. But one thing to know, I'm like not like the most emotional person.

I'm super like cut and dry about everything. I think we noticed. You're like, hello, birth mother. Thank you for coming. Literally it was a board meeting. Honestly, I'm shocked I didn't show her a balance sheet and an income statement. We didn't discuss cash flow projections, so I thought the meeting went well. No, you asking her where your, like, asthma, like, where your seasonal allergies are from?

What did you ask her? The fact that my first question is, like, do you like Diet Coke? This river runs deep, honey, deep. And she's like, and I love how she was, like, so innocently, like, no, I drink regular cold. Oh, and, by the way, a blow to my soul. you're like um are you sure sorry can we get a tweet 23 and me in here please but robert you know what she looks so much i mean you look so much like

yeah yeah yeah it was wild to see and i mean we saw that you handled it i wish everyone who you know goes on a on a journey to find their birth mother could have had your experience which was i mean which is you have amazing parents that you're obsessed with are obsessed with you had a great upbringing you're thankful that you were, you know, adopted. Your brother is the opposite of you. It's total wild. Wild opposite. Texas Ross.

Are you guys close? Yeah, we're close. We did a live last night and every, oh my God, it was so annoying. First off, I do these lives so people talk about me. But all the ding-dong girls wanted to talk to Texas Ross. I was so annoyed the whole time. Wait, are girls sliding into Zs now? They're sliding into my DMs to try and figure out how to get into his DM.

I'm like, I'm not a gatekeeper. of the Texas Ross, but it's been really cute for both of us. It was fun, and he, oh my God, I was so happy to have him with me because while I am not emotional, I am like wrecked with anxiety. So like, it was nerve-wracking, number one, just putting that whole story out there and like talking about it and trying to be like mature while you do something you never really thought you would ever do.

But like having him with me and what you don't see is, you know, Stacy brought a friend and Ross was kind of my, my buddy. And during half the time, they were just chatting the whole time. I mean, halfway through, I was like, are you guys enjoying yourself? I hope so. Like, I'm trying to understand, like, how much aspirate I can have on a daily basis. But no, you guys talk about high school, please.

It's like when a double date, like, goes better for the other couple. For sure, for sure. Have you kept in touch with Stacey at all? I have. We've, you know, I'm doing it, it's like a spectrum, right? I'm doing it slowly on my pace, but obviously there's no way in the world I could like throw her into this whole thing and then just like totally, you know, ghosts.

So like we've been in contact, I think like a healthy amount. We've gotten to speak a few times and also just kind of talking her through this process as I basically like talk myself through the process having been the first time for me too. But it's been good, you know, and my birth sisters. have all reached out to me now. So, like, that's a whole other thing that I have to digest and deal with. But, you know, they seem very excited

to get to know me. I'm, you know, excited to get to know them. Haven't taken this step yet. We talked a little bit on Instagram, but that'll be the next thing. It's all pretty wild. It is wild also how, I mean, your birth mother agreeing to do this on television

is wild, you know? And then the same thing, Same thing. You know who I felt that about about Yosef? Is Yosef as like emotional emoji as he's pictured on television? He's very sweet. I don't know him. I don't know him very well. I mean, I, I know the kids super well. And so I encounter Yosef, you know, pretty regularly. But it's always like as the kid's father. And I think he's had his own journey and his own transformation, you know, through this process and before. Because, you know, as Julia became more and more secular, let's say, obviously she brought the family with her.

And so I think Julia was telling a story at dinner the other day about how he wore jeans for the first time. So that was, we were celebrating that. So he is a mensch though, definitely a mensch. Oh, I love how you use the word mensch. Are your parents Jewish or no? No, no. As country Christian as they come.

So Julia and her family basically taught you all about Judaism. them. Like, did you, I mean, Texas, right? Yeah. Honestly, I knew one Jew growing up in Texas. And then I went to Syracuse, New York, and then all my girlfriends were Jewish. Yeah. So I've had lots of, you know, lots of experience, but not, not like so deep into the religious side. So now I, and also, like, just, like, being privy to her writing her book and hearing some of the stories there, I've really learned the whole gamut. And you know, I'm the Shavaskoi, so I turn on all the lights for everybody.

No, like, you guys, for those who doesn't don't know what that means, it means that you're not allowed to do certain things on Shabbas if you're a really religious Jew, so then you have people that aren't do the things for you, which that's kind of cheating, but it depends, like, what you want to do. Oh, full disclosure. We are big time cheaters because I am operating the light switches, the Netflix accounts, all of the above. Turning on and off. Yeah, it's, it's, you guys, Robert is in the Hamptons right now, as we're. were recording. And so apologies for any like audio. Let's blame Julia's Wi-Fi because he's with Julia in the Hamdens. I want to go back to what we were talking about before. You are a star. How were you and you were kicking and screaming into this, whatever. But like you are, you know, so witty. It's like you were, you're meant for it. You made it funny. You made it light. So how have you not been exposed to like reality television before anything? Like, have you never been approached? Never been approached. I mean, obviously an old school fan. I mean, I was like on the bandwagon before there was a wagon for us to be on. I mean, me and Vicky Gundelson go way back, you know? And so I've always like been, I've always been a part of it, obviously. But never been asked to be a part of it, Lord in Heaven. Oh my God. Julia and Roney. Yay or nay?

Oh, my God. First of all, I always tell her she should, she should. She should go for it. But she has no interest. I tried to make her watch an episode. And she flat out refused after like five minutes. So I don't know what kind of, I don't know what our chances are. She would make such a good addition to the show. This, I could not agree more.

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i enjoyed it what i love about this series is that you know it's really not a catty drama show like you have. I think it's kind of its own category. It's like half documentary, half docu-sob, half reality. And I feel like it's, you know, an elevated sector of the genre. So I feel proud to be a part of it. And also like, hell, it's showcasing us run our amazing company and the experiences of five individuals who are transitioning out of a life that they were born into, but, you know, want to change their their circumstances in. So I think it's a beautiful story. It's so true. It's kind of like the, I think the Kardashians, like keeping up with the Kardashians is the only other example I can think of that's like a reality show, but it's

not sustained on like drama and people being awful to each other like the housewives and badmouting each other and talking shit. And I feel like the Kardashians until now were kind of the only ones that manage that. And yeah, they get hate online about other stuff, but not about really what happens on the show. So that's really lucky because I feel like reality TV has become such a scary place. Like people get fired left and right.

People get canceled left and right. People, you know, lose friendships, lose jobs. I mean, it's become such a toxic thing in a lot of different ways. And you guys really managed to make it like about a family, you know, and you're part of the family.

I can love it. What's it like being the COO of elite? I mean, it's really, it's an amazing job because every day, we work for people, right? I mean, we have 6,000 incredible talent on a roster. We're helping them build careers, build brands out of themselves. And so it's a really rewarding job, but it's so complicated because, you know, we exist everywhere in the globe, 48 different agencies around the world. And I really oversee a lot of the operations side of that.

So that's the less glamorous pieces, like the trademarks and legal and finance pieces and, you know, just the day-to-day operations of the business, human. resources, hiring all of the glamorous, fabulous things, honey. So, you know, that's my, that's my life. So it's actually nice, this whole, like, little TV thing because we get to explore a little bit of a creative side of Robert Brotherton, which only pops its head out in the form of a Balenciaga coat every now and now. No, so that's what I'm telling you.

It's so wild because, like, chief operating officer is such a, like, you know, cool, glam, sea level title, but it's operations. I mean, you do a lot of the, so, so the fact that. we see you with your Valenciaga. What is that a cape that you showed up with to Stacey? No, I call it a comforter. It's like a lovely little down comforter. It's literally quilted. The inside is quilted. No, I am obsessed. I am obsessed. So did you want to get into fashion? Because you were at La Perla with Julia too, right? So you guys worked there together and then you came over with her to Elite. Yeah, I always worked in fashion. So I graduated school.

with an opera degree and decided, oh, that's probably not for me. So I also at the same time. Wait, opera? Opera. An operatic performance degree. Okay. I cannot. No, you can. And we might. I know. Well, we need, we need a note, Robert. We need a note. We need a note. Here's an, I'll have notes at the end. Okay. Okay. So I graduated in college with that and an advertising degree. I knew I wanted to work in fashion. I started, you know, I did a few internships and then started at Zach Pozen where I was there for like many many years and that was like everything you could dream of in like a fashion job because it was like you know small fashion brand but we are doing everything under the sun celebrity dressing you know the best PR everything and you know

Zach was Zach was Zach so it was project runway days it was everything and so then I moved to Escada which was a very different world very German very formulaic very regimented and then Laperla came along and I thought that was really exciting opportunity because they were doing new things with clothing and I mean the brand is so fabulous and beautiful and also like they make men's loungewear and I was really hoping to go to work and silk and then that's when I met this fabulous woman named Julia Hart. I remember the first day we met she was dressed head to toe in this like Dior suit looking scrum dittalumptious and I approached her introduced myself like any good like little gay sidekick would and I like immediately told her that I thought her hair was really pretty and

that I loved her Dior suit. And like, did she like my YSL sandals or whatever bullshit I said to her? And so then she was like, okay, I like this person, but I'm not sure. Then a few weeks later, she was in New York. We were shooting something like Harper's Bazaar thing or whatever. There was a celebrity dressing thing that I wanted to do. A big, big musician had wanted us to create a gown for her. And my boss said no.

And I was like, honey, if you think I'm going to take this, no, you've got another thing coming. So I called up Ms. Julia Hart and said, listen. You know, I'm not telling tales out of school, but this guy just said no to dressing this celebrity, and I'm sure you'd want to. Well, long story short, three days later, that guy was fired and I had his job. Hooray! At La Perla. And that began, like, our little love affair together.

You know, when you work in PR and marketing, you're very close. Like, you're always talking, you know, you're working on each other's projects and brands. And that's how I became her, what do I always say? her executor, her implementer. You guys are so, and your best friends, would you say? Yeah, for sure. And you work together every day. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm a lot. I'm a lot to handle. And she's got to deal with it on a daily, you know. Is she not a lot to handle? No. I mean, I'm really the worst, honestly. I'm shocked she's not on some type of medication.

I mean, can you imagine all day, every day, high energy? And then I go home at 6 o'clock, have a glass of wine and make other calls. Like, come on. It's enough. It's a hot fucking mess. All in Excel, by the way. So you're saying that she puts up with you. It's not you putting up with her. Oh, no, no. I'm the literal dog shit worst. No, stop. I'm serious. It's terrible. Oh, my God. Robert, I have a question. So what do you say to people, you know, when I started posting about the show, I got a lot of messages. You were like, oh, you know, it's, I mean, you've probably seen the people talking and being,

like, oh, it's, you know, scripted, it's fake, it's not real, or people coming out of Muncie and saying, you know, I knew Julia or what would you say to those people and those, and those rumors? Well, first off, anyone saying like a reality show is fake, like I would say, revolutionary, you know, thank you for your very impactful thought. But number two, I have been there. Like, I mean, I obviously wasn't with her when she was growing up, but we did go to Muncie. You see it. I mean, you see the world in which they come from. And, I mean, I also say, I would say, wait for the book. I mean, I've seen the pictures.

It is amazing, this little enclave that exists in upstate New York. And, you know, there are people there who are happy. There are people who are not the number of messages that she has gotten from young women who, like, say, thank you. Or you're such an inspiration. Like, you're showing me that I can do something that I can. It's so, I mean, it's like food for the soul. Right. you know, if

you think it's fake, you know, whatever. Yeah. I mean, the thing is, let you guys, let's say this. Maybe the TikTok Ben did for Bacheva in the middle of the street. Maybe that was, you know, pre-planned.

No, that killed me. That TikTok killed me. First off, what killed me in that whole thing was my outfit. I don't know if you saw it, but I was channeling Beyonce, but really delivering like a chubby Adam Lambert. You were taking it so, Seriously. I think that's what was so funny. Yeah. Oh my gosh. First off, we don't do anything half-ass in this household. Thank you very much. If I'm going to do it, every part of me is going to do it, even if it jiggles left,

right and center. Are you on TikTok now? I am on it. I need to be better about it because I really think like it's a good medium for me. Yeah. But I don't want to dance. Like I'm literally, I'm not a good dancer. So I need to find like my niche. Yeah, you could do other things. I also don't have TikTok, but I'm like that old person who's insistent to not like get with the times. I'm like, no, send me a recording of it, you know, because it is, it is because I think for me too, like, you see the dances and you're like, but the dances. But like, no, there are other things. There are other things that you can do.

I also take issue with like what TikTok thinks I like. Because like if you, if you look at like the videos they're feeding me, I'm like a horned up 13 year old who like only wants to see shirtless boys doing weird thing in sweatpants. And I just take issue with this ridiculous profiling. Like, no, I want to see like someone garden their petunias in the backyard. Someone show me a dog doing something weird. Like, but, you know, TikTok's got me nailed, apparently. Wait, and your Instagram algorithm is better?

Like your explore page, they pull up gardening? Yeah, you know, I'm not really on the Instagram Explorer page very often. Maybe that's why I'm not getting a blue check. not engaging enough in their space but I don't know I need to get on my explore page TikTok I'm trying to make it work but you're trying I mean it is

it is that's the thing with TikTok it's work it's not like you can just half ass it like you have to put you have to make the videos you have to hold the little microphone you have to have a green screen equipment. I need to be a fucking movie studio to do a TikTok video everyone's like I'll do this green screen

with this soundtrack and this Sound. Overlaying sounds? You want me to cut a video? Trim it? Trim it. Exactly. God and heaven. Robert. Are you into celebrity gossip? Yeah, obviously. Love a celebrity gossip. I want to know what your thoughts are on Benefer 2.0. Okay. Benefer 2.0. First off, I think you make a mistake once. Shame on you. Make a mistake twice. Have it with a glass of wine. You know, enjoy it. Savor it. Robert Brotherton. Thank you so much. much for joining me today. Amanda, this was so fun. I'm so sorry. I'm cutting it short. I want to get into the celebrity gossip. I know. We didn't talk about the procedure you're going to have today. So much

important stuff, but we'll do it another time. Please, I beg of you. Go find Robert on every media he's on and follow him and his dog. Richard doodle, baby. Richard doodle. Thank you so much, Robert. It was so nice having you. Oh, my God. Huge kiss to you, Amanda. Talk soon. Bye, babe. Okay, guys, I love telling you about meal kit delivery services because you know what? Who in our modern world has freaking time to cook meals, to Google recipes, to know in advance what ingredients you need and shop for those? Like, that sounds legit, certifiably insane in the membrane. And that's why I wanted to tell you about green chef.

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You guys, I have Bacheva now Hart, which we'll discuss in a second, from my favorite show that I finish on Netflix. My unorthodox life, I freaking loved it. I loved your family. And thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. This is amazing. I love your show. I was just telling bot, which like, can I call you bot? Does everybody call you Bob? Yeah, that's funny. I was, I was doing a podcast reporting yesterday and you're like, so how do you say your name? I was like, Bach Chaba. And really like bot was always like a very like only my family me that like not even friends and now like random people who meet me in the street they're like bye so it's totally fine i've gotten over it but okay so first of all bat she bot means girl in

hebrew just so everyone were on the same page but bat sheva is what was that woman doing in the bible so she was king david's mom oh she was she a good lady she was a good lady we liked her yeah because i forget there was some like not good lady which i thought might be but cheva maybe it's someone else i actually liked studying like in because i grew up in israel so we we had like bible like not in a religious way we just like learned it and i always felt like the stories are so like just like a good novel exactly like it's so interesting yeah like a history class so yeah definitely story time story time exactly Exactly. So, sorry, I'm going to call you about Cheva because now I feel bad.

You're like literally only my family, but okay. Oh, no, it's totally fine. No, no. I was, it was on the show. I didn't realize even if people were using that. And then I guess like the nickname just caught on to everyone. So now on like a much wider age, now even like when I get like a coffee, I'm like just right pot on the coffee cup. You know, it's so much easier. Um, so I'm going with it. So feel free to call me bought. How was it going through life? I mean, I'm maybe in Muncie. It was more. Was it common? Did you know anybody else named But Cheva? Yeah. It's not, I would say, a very common name, but it's definitely, it's out there. So I wasn't like the only girl name, but it's not like some. There's a lot of like typical names that people have and it definitely wasn't one of them.

Well, it's a very cute name and I actually think that bot is really cute. And you're right. It's so weird because you did let us in on your life like in the show. And it's so weird to think like the way we call the Kardashians like Coco and, you know, we use their nickname. because we see it on the show. Nobody was like, oh, call me that. We were just like, Coco, Kiki. Like, we see it on TV. So now, you know, when I was talking to, I think, Robert about this, that, like, do you feel like you guys managed to, like, kind of step in to, like, a Kardashian vibe? I mean, it's very different, but it is very based on, like, family and values and stuff.

I think, like, the Kardashians made the headway for this to be a thing. thing for like family reality to be something that people are interested in watching so i definitely feel like that's why everyone's like the jewish kardashians or the kosher kardashians um i've been seeing a lot of those references um and i think that's just because you haven't seen so many like close-knit family reality tv shows out there so we're like a very similar in that sense or cared because let's be honest there have been some there was like i remember e picked up like like the brinked Brady family or something. Oh, yeah.

His name is. And Bradshaw, sorry. Carrie Brad. Bradshaw. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, who fucking cares? And I threw something at the TV. And like, for some reason, people cared about your family's story.

And even though your mom is like a fucking big shot, I didn't know who she was. Because like, if you're not in that world, maybe you don't know. But somehow it did catch on. Like, did you, were you guys, like, aware of the fact that it could, because. like trend like this i think because we're on netflix we knew that it had that possibility and that's what we are really hoping for because it's really a global audience instead of like i guess like a national audience um so it has that ability to really like go worldwide which is really cool because i see the show in so many different languages and people tag me in their stories and i hear like a

random you know actor actresses voice over to what we're saying so it's really interesting to see oh my god that is so cool right it is about reach because a lot of times i forget the like e and bravo it's very you know it's like here um it's not it's even just cable so if you don't have cable you can't even watch it and i forget how freaking widespread netflix is so that's freaking crazy did it get did it take you time to get used to like the camera vibe or were you like lights camera action i was definitely like all into it because i do social media so like I have your ear on my tripod right now I bring it with me everywhere I'm always filming myself and like what I'm doing so I think to me I have the easiest time getting used to having the

cameras everywhere whereas my family was like a little more shy to it um but you get used to it and they're not like in your face like they have like a healthy distance you whenever I feel like you hear people talk about it they're always like yeah you forget the cameras are there so I don't know if you forget they're there but they're not in your face and they don't feel imposing. That's so crazy. So you started on TikTok. Was that your media? Like that was your big I started on Instagram. And then I would say like I blew up on TikTok. So that like definitely I've been doing social media now for four years. And I got into TikTok like in the middle of 2019. So like halfway through. And that's where I was able to like gain much larger following because it was such a new

platform pre pandemic so really um i got in at a lucky time and yeah it sounds like you were one of the first the first people to really get on that and and that success isn't because you're you know somebody's daughter that's all you like nobody even knows yeah so i think i mean i definitely have had like viral videos with my mom's closet and people are like oh you know your mom and i was Like, I made the content. I put it out there. Like, I never felt like that's what defined me. But I definitely like, I love like doing videos with my family. And I feel like people from the million of people that follow me, like they knew who my siblings were. So I got a lot of messages like I've been following you on TikTok. It's so exciting to see your family show. That's been really

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I took this ball. Oh, my God. You're so cute. Are you celebrating something or is it just like a regular day in your life to be like on a boat? Oh, it's my friend's 25th birthday. So we're all, we, a lot of a bunch of us flew in from New York to L.A. And we are celebrating today on Catalina Island. It's my first time here.

And then we're heading to Vegas this weekend. Oh, I hate Vegas. Do you like Vegas? I actually really. I like Vegas for like the hanging out by the pool and then going to shows at night. I'm not like gambling or crazy partying. But we'll do like a little bit and a nice amount of everything. Are your friends from Muncie or are they friends from the city?

These are my city friends. this is like my new crew yeah you're a new crew how do you make a new crew so what when you came to new york you were how old i moved to the city in 2019 so like two and a half years ago so how do you make friends really so i was really lucky that i met a couple at a Passover program that we went to that was in the city and they introduced us to all their friends so we were able to like kind of weasel our way into a friend group that already existed. Oh, that's cool. So yeah, it was really nice. I'm very thankful for my friends and they're big fans of the show and they're all up to. Oh, I'll say hi to them after. I will. That's so funny.

And you go to FIT still? Did you, did you finish? I am still a part-time student there. I have five more classes. So I say by the time I'm 30, I'm 28, but hopefully I'll I'll finish them all. It's really just like to get the degree. I don't need it for what I'm doing. now. But because where I came from, like, it wasn't a thing that we needed a degree. I want that accomplishment under my belt. And that's definitely something you want to do, right? You want to stay in, like, fashion and. Yeah, I would definitely want to stay in the content world. But I'm getting my, my bachelor's in direct and interactive marketing, which is like what I'm doing. And I have my associate's degree in accessories design. So I can really do like fashion or marketing. And I have a

degree for both, which is cool. Oh, good. You are, let me tell you about Cheva. You are one, just like a smart head on your shoulders. Like, you're just amazing. Really. Thank you. Thank you so much. Honestly, I feel like you're, you're just so well spoken and smart and know what you want. And that's just amazing. What, since when are you and been together? We've been together, um, over 10 years. now like we've been date with together as a couple um but we've been married eight years almost nine in october so since we've been 18 long as time in hour 28 on the show your mom made it sound

like you guys wanted to get married so young because you wanted to have sex is that true i would say like because where we were from like you don't date to date you're like dating to get married and you don't have sex before marriage so people don't let you date for a long because dating for long can lead to sex. So that's kind of like the mindset behind it all is that like, and you're not even supposed to touch at all, like no contact pre-marriage. So that's why people date for a really short time because they don't want you to come, to succumb to temptation and God forbid do anything.

So it was kind of like these, you know, these 18-year-old or, yeah, have basically been dating for a year. year like they either need to get married because god forbid they could have sex or they didn't need to break up so we chose the get married part was the wedding like super religious like separated and shit or was it together yeah was separated or not we had separate there there was a mehita it's like a separation in between on the dance floor so nobody should see women dancing you guys that is the worst i'm sorry i because i because of my time and it is well, I know. And if I would ever get invited to that type of wedding, even though I wouldn't, because I wasn't obviously friends with such religious people at the time. But when I heard anybody has to go, it sucks because imagine I go with my husband as your guest. I can't hang out with him. I'm on the women's side. The men are on the men's side. But you come together at the end, right? Yeah. So we like did something which was like not so done. We had like at the end I did a dance with my dad on the women's side. So like the men didn't.

and I did the same thing with Ben, but a lot of people don't do that. And yeah, it's not as, it's really not so fun to go to super religious weddings. Like now I, unless I need to go for like a family member, like I tend to stay away. When you move to the city, is that when your, your kind of transition began? Did it become like, did it start right away? So I mean, I'm, I was living in Muncie until like two and a half years ago. So it was something like I, when I did, get married like i wore full wig and like i was still and i throw when i like post like throwback photos like people like die from them because i'm like super super covered up but i was slowly slowly changing like what i was wearing and everything and i think like once i moved to the

city i had told ben like i'm giving him a year to kind of get on board with like wearing pants and not dressing modestly and I really like I told this like new group of friends that I was with them like every time we go out like I want you to wear your itty bitty clothing always wear pants I want him to be around it to see it we would literally like text like you know when you when you're going out with your friends you want a message like what is what's everyone wearing so I'm like biker shorts short shorts like whatever you got like bring it out please so he can see what you're wearing I want him to get used to it and it worked it eventually worked Oh my God. And on the show, we see him kind of being opposed to pants at the beginning and you kind of wanting him to warm up. And then a lot of people like messaged me or we're talking about on the internet like, wait, but she is wearing like short skirts. How is that okay and not pants? Yeah. So that was kind of like my conversation with him. It's because where we grew up wearing pants was like a really big no-no. The only people I knew that were pants were not religious at all.

So you kind of associate it with like, if you wear pants, that means you don't have religion in your life. We didn't know any modern Orthodox people, like the way that we live our life now, where we're still religious, but we live a modern lifestyle. So it was kind of like we weren't subjected to any other kinds of Jews. It was either like ultra-religious Jews or Jews who weren't affiliated at all. So in his mind, and which I understood, and that's why I gave him so much time to kind of get used to it, um it just had a really bad association but i'm like i my skirts have slowly gotten shorter and shorter like it doesn't make any sense pants are more modest so it's i think like if you don't come from that background where it's like so bad pants or have such a bad wrap um it's hard to relate

uh and also like no i tell you yeah so people now even are on like my tipped out like i that must have all that scene was for the show wasn't real because look at what you're wearing now and like the show was filmed like almost two years ago like my life has since evolved and it was like a very very real conversation that we had for like years until he found went until i was like this is what i'm doing like you got to get on for it i i gave you enough time that's so true a lot of things in religions in general but also in judaism don't make sense i mean i get what you're saying because i come from that you know i i know a lot more about it because i am jewish but but that is true pants is like the ultimate like whatever so so it's like long skirt then short skirt then pants so yeah i feel

you i mean like the the original like halacha or like rule that it comes from is that women aren't supposed to wear men's clothing and i don't know like 70 plus years ago pants were men's clothing only women didn't wear pants so that's why like the modern orthodox community has evolved wearing pants because pants are no longer men's clothing, women wear pants on a regular basis. So that's kind of where the idea came from that pants were bad. But yeah, I'm past that. I love pants. They're amazing.

My life is so much better with them in my life. Is modern Orthodox a real thing? Like, has it always been a real thing or has it become a real thing recently? I honestly, like, don't know for sure. I think it's just like as the world has modern. like they it's their like modernization of orthodoxy so kind of like they're just more with the times as opposed to like staying more olden day if that makes sense like a more modern take on orthodox religious because you still keep shabbas right yes and i and i keep kosher like

i don't eat shellfish or pork um it's your kitchen like entirely separated yeah i have like separate milk and meat dishes. So I have like a full kosher kitchen. So I still keep like the big things. I think it's more like the way you dress. If you have a career, you don't have to have babies right away, things like that that are not as strict. So in your community, like do you know how people in your old community in Monty like how they feel about the show? Because I mean, I'm sure you saw on the internet, people are writing open letters to your mom and being like, that's not true or we're not like that here and or if they're just not accepting of your lifestyle like how has it been seeing stuff like that um i feel like i i was surprised by the backlash of

before like it's not like that because my mom is sharing her personal experience she also experienced these things like 35 years ago and since then things have changed like i didn't have as strict of a upbringing as she did i still had a really super strict up bringing. But, you know, I've heard a lot of like untrue facts out there. Like people say I went to a different high school. That wasn't true. And I think like some people just assume that since they've met you once, they can give a rundown on your life when that they don't know what's going on inside you. And I think a lot of people made judgments before they actually watch the full season. Because if you watch all nine episodes, you get a really good

sense of it's not anti-Judaism or anti-being religious. It's just, you know, giving people the opportunity that if it's not for you there are other options out there and like we're you know you have me and ben and you have my little brother who are he's like fully orthodox so it's not trying to tell people to not be religious or bashing it it's more the ultra the fundamental part that my mom referred to um she wants people to know that the people who are struggling and are unhappy that there's a way out and they can still live a very fulfilling life um and it's it's not bashing those people, but this is all her experience. Nothing is made up. And I just really hope people would watch the full all nine episodes. Yeah. People love judging before. That's like people. Sometimes they talk to in and you're like, wait, have you watched it? No, but and you're like, wait, what? Yeah. Um, so I, I mean, listen, I'm sure you know this, but in this world, I mean, you got to have thick skin. But I, from what I've seen, there is much, more love going around than backlash and like I said at the beginning like I really feel like

you guys are in that Kardashian vibe where you know their show is about like family and yeah there was drama here and there but it was not like a real housewives vibe where they want to like kill each other and they're talking shit and like you know drama like that and I think that your mom is really inspiring and I even personally heard people tell me she gave she gave them like you know a different outlook, not even just about religion, but about changing careers or, you know, just being a badass at, you know, in the middle of life, changing shit up, being a boss. Like, a lot of people have reached out to me about that. And it's so true, like, in Israel, I saw that it a lot. Like, when kids don't want to be in the religious upbringing that their family that they were

raised in, they usually end up on the street, like, like all those things are true. So, it's really hard to do what you do. But obviously you guys are like a crazy story that, you know, it's one in a million the way it happened in your family, obviously. But that's why it's freaking on TV. I want to know, when did Butcheva, what was the last name before, Hart? You mean like my media name or like on Instagram? Oh, you just changed it on Instagram to Hart?

So yeah, my, like I go by three names. I have my legal name, my married name. my social media presence persona name okay let's okay what's the the maiden name okay my maiden name is headler and that's I still have my legal name and then my married name Ben's last name is Weinstein so like on personal social occasions that's how I'll introduce myself but like social media wise like I'm known as much of a heart and that's like the name that I like to go with did that happen after you filmed the show or or before i think i made this the change before right before we filmed or before we started filming the series like once i felt like i knew this was coming out i wanted to attach

i actually made my tic-tok name when i started it butch of a heart and once i felt like that gains enough traction and followers i decided to change my instagram name to butch of a heart as well oh okay because i don't know why when miriam told you that she was changing it did she change it legally to heart she changed it legally yeah oh wow i also saw by the way your fucking sister who's so awesome she has a girlfriend now it looks like mhm natalie she's really lovely she's sweden is she a model with elite she is a tennis player oh excuse me yeah yeah yeah so we we have a type miriam and i both like are significant others tall ben and natalie are the same height. Yeah. No, that's awesome. She's such a, she's so cool. And I mean, if I was like her,

how old is she 20? 21. Well, she can drink now. So that'll be fun for you. Exactly. Yeah. It was really fun. You went out for her birthday. Oh, that is so fun. Would you be down to do another season? Definitely. At Netflix. Are you, if you're listening to this. Netflix, if you're listening to this, listen. And people loved you and the show so freaking much. Your family like literally seeped into all of our hearts. So just know that. So we're all freaking waiting to watch you more and more on TV. And everybody go follow Bacheva on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.

I'm trying to get into that these days. Yeah. But Chava Heart on all platforms. She knows her fucking shit. Okay. She's been doing it since it was, It started. She didn't hop on and now like a lot of other bitches.

But, Jeva, thank you so much. Go enjoy the frickin' boat with all your friends and say hi to your whole family and tell your mom to invite me to your house, okay? Definitely. You are invited anytime. It was so nice to chat. Thank you so much for having me on.

Thanks, babe. Bye. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for

listening and I'll see you next Tuesday.