Not Skinny But Not Fat - WHO WOULD BLOCK CELESTE BARBER?

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

On today’s show, I’m joined by hilarious Australian comedian Celeste Barber! We discuss her amazing celebrity parodies on Instagram, the celebs that are obsessed and the one celeb who blocked her. We also dive into her new beauty brand, Booie, Hot Husband, aging in Hollywood and more!!Produced by Dear MediaThis episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome back to the not skinny but not fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hello, how are you? I'm good. How you doing? Nice new haircut.

Yeah, thanks, babe. I don't have hair. I kind of have feathers. And so I just had to give it up. Oh, you mean like, stop trying to grow it out? Stop trying. And I'm stoked so that everyone's doing it. So I was like, oh, cool, I'm, I'm trendy. You're very lately, Bieber. I am very highly believer.

Absolutely. But, yeah, then when the new trend comes in, I'm going to be like, I've got to stick with this. Sorry, friends. Wait, you could take, like, Nutrafol or, like, one of those supplements that doesn't work for you? No, I have done it all. It's because of, like, my mom. My mom has no hair either. We are just feathers.

It's a nightmare. So I've tried everything. I've fisted all of those vitamins, and they do nothing. But it makes haircuts like this, like, really easy to navigate, you know? For you? Is it like for thickening? No, no. Well, that's what the supplements do.

But I'm saying for people, like, for people that have thin hair, you could really pull off the bob. Like for me, when I get a bob, I have to really be concerned with how much it's going to puff out, you know? Yeah, right. Yeah. No, that's never, my hair puffing out has never been an issue at all. No matter the weather.

You guys, Celeste Barber is here. Super exciting. I love, love all your stuff. I was going to say your content, but then I was going to throw up for saying your content. Not saying that. I'm not drawing up. Content creator. No. I love your content. It's also 8 a.m. in Australia right now, right? No, it's 10 a.m. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. How do you keep up with that schedule? Because you've been doing so much stuff in the U.S. now. You're international. How do you keep it up? I mean, it's a lot. I don't know if I keep, if I do it well, but I don't do it, you know, all the time. I kind of try and truncate it down a bit. So I'll do it for a few months where I just go absolutely bananas and then I'll have to just pull the pin because it's too much.

So I was in the States for two months. I did a month of North America. Then I came home for a week. So I did a month, a month in America. I came back for a week reintroduced myself to my kids and then went back and did another month and then came back.

What happens with your kids when you're gone for a month? Are they just with their dad? Yeah, and we have friends as well and my family that help. It used to just be my husband that would be at home with them or they would come with us

as much as possible. But now they're kind of getting older. My oldest is 13 and the youngest is 10. They're like, yeah, we'd really love touring. I'm like, what do you mean? You don't want to be in a weird hotel in Wichita? how dare you? You don't want to average 16 hours in every city through middle America

over three weeks. I don't know what your problem is, diva. Like, this doesn't roll for us. Because even the flight, what's the flight, or 12 hours? No, I'm 15. Oh, my geez. Yeah, it doesn't fuck around. But, you know, I jump on that business post flight now, pop way too many to Mazepen or Xanax, and it's a lovely sleep. I learned to do that. I can't be drinking on that flight. My best friend and I, Thomas, who's also my tour manager, we used to get on that flight that we just drink.

And then, like, that's four red wines. And then I remember one time, I asked, we were like blackout drunk. And I just said to the air, I said, I have another bailies on ice, please. And it was like my third one. And then they said, we're now going to start our descent into Los Angeles. And I was like, oh, we've done it again. I can't. I can't drink like that. Oh my God. And that's probably like then you have like the jet lag and the hangover, which is not fun.

No, it's the worst. Going to New York, significance to New York is brutal. Like it's, it takes a good week to get over that jet lag. It's just, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever thought of, have you ever thought of moving here with like all your success in America? Well, we actually did. We were over there for three months, 2019, when it all was like really taking off for me internationally. I was touring over there. I was doing a podcast. And I was sitting like, this might be a thing. And so we started looking at houses and everything. In LA. Yeah, in LA. We're beach people. And then we came home and were like, yeah, this probably might be a thing. And then of course, COVID happened. And we thought, no. Well, stay put wherever we are. do you feel like that was a missed opportunity or you're okay that it didn't happen? I'm okay that it didn't happen for on the like on the holistic side of my life with my family and my lifestyle and everything and you know, works still pretty great for me. But I do think if we did move there, I think it would have, I would have probably been more successful. I would have been doing more. I would have, yeah, I think I would have been doing films and

stuff by now if I was like on the ground. But it's so out of sight, out of mind this industry. Even though, you know, Instagram is a thing and the internet, you know, you're still visible. It's like, you've got to get in the room with people. You've got to. Yeah. And the minute they know you're, and if they know where you are, then it's like, oh, then we'll have to fly her out and pay her, you know, her business class ticket and her Bailey's at least. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Or her whole family, her whole tribe. Yeah. You're right. It's. It's a thing. It's funny that happened. I mean, I had like a few things in LA back to back. I remember also around like 2020. And then you're like, should I move here? Because I'm just, I need to be here every five minutes. And you're like, you get so into it. And then it's like months of being like, oh, well, I guess I don't have to be there this month and that month. So maybe NVM. Yeah, absolutely. And Americans in particular, I believe, you know, people in the industry and Californians, they're.

very, very positive people. Whenever I have a meeting over there, even if it's with some big fancy executives assistant aren't, like, nothing, or like just big fancy people, I will, most of the time come out of meetings and I say to my husband, I'm pretty sure I'm hosting the Oscars. Like, I've nailed that. We've got to, we've got to move here. They're going to, no, there's actually no talk of redoing Bridesmaid's two until that meeting with me. Like, it's just so positive. You're like, this is happening, baby. It's on. It's on. It's on. And then, of course, nothing, because you can just never have a bad meeting. Wait, are Australians more straightforward, like you can feel when they're not into you? If you get a meeting. I don't know. I don't know the

last meeting I had in Australia, but we beat down doors here. We're like, wow. Wow. Really? Yeah. But so many. It's very different. So many. I mean, there was really, has been a resurgence of successful Australians in America. I mean, we have so many Australians dominating box office, dominating the industry, but have started, because you did too. You started in like, you started actually in television in Australia. Yeah, in a medical drama. What are those called like procedural?

Yes. Well, yeah, we call the medical drama. So it's like the Australian Grey's Anatomy. It hasn't gone for 700 years. Wait, and was it funny at all, or was it dramatic acting? No, dramatic. Very dramatic. Oh, wow.

Yeah, but I started as a guest role on that. And then because I'm a hustler, I then got a semi-regular role. And then they bumped me up to a regular. I was on the show for five years. And I finally got contracted for three years. There's like a regular main cast member. And it was signing the contract. And then I went and bought an apartment.

like a little shitty studio apartment in Sydney because I was like, I have a contract now to show the bank that I have three years of employment. Right. And I did it. And I bought this little shitty apartment and six weeks later to show got canceled. Can that happen once you have a contract though? Yeah. Easily tear it up. Yeah. Oh, easily. No, I'm dying that you had to, you wanted to buy the, you wanted to feel like you did something. Like, yeah, I was really responsible. I was like, well, this is what you do. I'm going to myself just a little apartment, get myself all set up, and then I got it, and the show got canceled, and I went like, so. So what did you do? I screamed into a pillow for a while,

and then I managed to, I think I put a random tenant, I put someone in there, some random backpacker, and then I stayed with, you know, 58 friends. We all got, like, a sharehouse in the middle of Sydney, and then I managed it. I got another job, thankfully, on a football show. You Australians love a sharehouse, too. Yeah, it's expensive. There's not, we don't work much in Australia. The industry isn't, I mean, it's getting better now, obviously, because, you know, streaming. Yeah. But it's few and far between. Like, that's why there's so many of us in America, because that's, I guess it's the mecca, isn't it? The industry. Yeah, because there's not, I got it, because there's not, I mean, there's like neighbors, right? There is neighbors.

And we've got home and away. And then what was that show that Claire Holt was on with the mermaids back in the day? It was like a mermaid show, H2O or something. H2O? What? Yeah. Yeah. Was she in H2O? Yeah, when she was like a baby with Phoebe, who's like her BFF Firel since then.

Yeah, this all makes sense. Yeah, that show's not around anymore. I love Australians. I feel like even with the people that follow me, like, when I go through messages, I feel like Australians, like, get me the most, you know? Like when I'm being a little bitchy or mean or, like, sarcastic, they're the ones who are like, we get it. all the way from Australia. I'm like, thank you because these dumb bitches

here in America did not get it. No, no, no. Sarcasm is our jam. Sarcasm is my jam. We love it. The Brits are like that as well. Americans, not so much.

I know when I'm being, if I'm in a meeting or something and I say something sarcastic, it makes me laugh every time. There's a lull, and then someone will be like, oh, you're hilarious. Oh, no, hey, wait.

Hang on. Stop. Oh, you're hilarious. Like, thank you. It's a whole lot of things. Wait, no. That is an exact, that is an exact representation of what happens. Oh my God, I can't.

I cannot. And especially in L.A., you're right. It's a certain type of, like, overly zealous kind of thing. But you, but I mean, you really took off, even with the sarcasm, even with everything. Was it Instagram and your parodies on, like, the models and the, the influencers. Was that really the jump? Yeah, absolutely. That's what made me

made people know. That's what made me famous. That's what made me famous. Yeah, that's absolutely what it was. How did the idea even come to you? Oh, well, fucking photos on Instagram. You're like, it was just, I remember looking at it. You can get some of the

photos and going, oh, great. Like, she's amazing. And again, I don't look like that. And oh, cool. I still hate myself. All right. Oh, well. And then, but then the fact that it was being kind of sold as every day, like, this is just what it is. This is just what women look like every day. You know, there's, you know, magazines and everything, which are problematic in their

own way, have Kate Moss and, you know, on a rooftop being sexy, holding a perfume. And it's like, well, she's obviously selling this perfume. That's what's happening. Then with Instagram, I had to look at it. And this is, I've been doing this shit for like 10 years now. So back then it was, that's all it was, was just, you know. Right, it was way more curated and way more like perfect looking. And yeah, now there, people have leaned into like, wait, relatable works better.

And then they're trying that now. Yeah, but back then, right, it was very like picture perfect. Yeah, and like, I remember there's pictures of these girls in like active wear and all done up, holding the green juice and like on a beach and a child. wild in the distance and the caption's like, just it, we'll drop off. I'm like, that's not what fucking drop off looks like. That is, this is what drop off looks like.

You know, and it kind of got the idea. And my sister and I would send them to each other. And we just be like, challenge accepted. Like, should we, we should be doing this. This is not. Wait, what was her part in it then? Just that, just us sending the photos. Like, she'd find something hilarious and she'd be like,

challenge accepted, like getting me to do it. But you would really put in, like, if it was, someone wearing like a metallic dress like you would get rolls of fucking tin foil like you put time i mean you it's not like you were like oh let me just i mean today content is like content is you know people could just pick up the camera talking to the phone but you like had to have similar outfits made like you went all out for your stuff yeah i but i did it in a really basic way like i would just i'd see something go well i now need to go to, we have like $2 shops here and go and like a party shop and go, I need to go and get

something fucking stupid. Because that's the whole idea of it, right? And that's, well, that's how it started. Like going, well, if an average person tried to do that, if an ordinary person tried to do that, this is how that would look. And it's not cute. It's not cute. Wait, and who would film it? Hot Husb? Hot Husband. He films all your videos. Yeah, I sometimes, I do of myself as well sometimes because I'll just go, I'm going to do that. And I'll just, that's how I work. I'm really spontaneous. And I'll just do it. And if he's not around or whatever, I'm like, I'll just do it myself. And that's also kind of fun as well. I enjoy that part of it when it's flunky, when I've got 14 books and a plant trying to hold up a fucking phone

and I've got 10 minutes before I've got to get the kids. And yeah, I like, I try to make it as ridiculous as possible. So what was your first one? Do you remember? I think it was a yoga, a random yoga pose. Oh, okay. It's like a blogger. But the first one that went bananas that made it go off that everyone jumped on board was Kim Kardashian naked on a dirt pile. Really?

Yeah, there was, I think that was, it was her Kanye days. Oh, wow. So you had like fishnets on a, you got on a dirt pile? You found a dirt pile? Yes, I had fish nets. So I had fish nets on and healed. And I put a trench coat on. and just had like, you know, spunking underneath.

And I was walking out in the house, and my husband was like, where are you going? With the poor, like, and I was like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm just going down to the local dirt bike track and doing a thing. He was like, and my friend came at that time. And I was like straight after school in the afternoon. And all there were like these teenage boys just like burning around on their bikes. And like, here I was strutting down.

And they were like, I said, how? hi, I'm about to do something pretty inappropriate. It's going to make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. You are more than welcome to stick around. But just so you know, it's got to be pretty awkward. And they all were like, see that. And they just took off, but they were terrified. And yeah, got the shot and then posted it and it went crazy.

That one went like crazy. Like what you remember, like your followers just like going out. Madness. Yeah, like 5,000 followers and then went to bed, woke up. 500,000 followers, or 50,000, like just something. Actually, it was 50,000 because that's massive back then. Yeah. Holy crap.

I feel like people don't grow like that today. Not on Instagram. Maybe TikTok people grow like that, but not on Instagram. Yeah, it's different, isn't it? I found that as well. It's kind of, I just want you to post, though. The algorithm rewards posting. It doesn't matter what it is.

Oh, really? I did a little test. Yeah, I did a little test, I think, last week all the week. for. The algorithm rewards posting is such a set. I know. Okay, no. Child of consumerism over here. And it's just, I posted three times in a week, which is a lot for me because I get bored. I jumped 50,000 followers. Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. Pets are our babies. Even though I had regular babies after Leo, he's still such a huge part of our family. That's why you should really check out pet insurance. With the ASPCA pet

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I noticed that you don't post your stand-up, like your clips to TikTok or to Instagram, really. Yeah, I should. I should. Oh, I thought this was like a, I thought that. it was a decision. Like maybe you didn't want, but it's not. I post some of them, but because I had the Netflix special, Netflix, I own them. So I try to, I'm like, and I have some clips and they give you just a few. Oh, wait, so Netflix, I was wondering if Netflix could be mad at you because, like, you were really mad at them with the Wellamania cancellation. And I was like, you, I was like,

because I feel like when I interview people that have done stuff with, like, streamers, there's, So, you know what I mean? There's like that you don't want to say anything to piss them off. And I feel like you had no problem being like, well, those fuckers and this is bullshit when Well, Mania didn't get renewed for season two. Yeah. I just didn't understand it. I mean, it happens all the time.

Excellent shows get canceled all the time. Yeah. But I just didn't know what was going on. And I haven't. I still haven't been told why. I haven't heard anything. So I kind of. And also, it's because of my audience.

I really love my audience. I really respect my peeps. And I know that they all love the show. And I don't treat my audience like an algorithm. I don't. I know that they're predominantly moms and women. And, you know, they put energy into things. And I really appreciate that.

I don't take it for granted. So that's why I only did a story. Like, I mean, I did one real, just letting everyone know saying, the show's not going ahead. I don't know why. I'm bummed. I wish it was, but it's not going ahead. And then I think if you say anything other than, I love everything, people think that, you know, you're pissed off when you're trying to take down the wall. But I did, my managers did call me though, and they're like, can you stop. I was like, don't know if I can. We'll say. Say that you're grateful. But the Netflix special was after that. So you're good.

The Netflix special was directly after that. They put that on two weeks after Wellmania aired. So, yeah, it was, they didn't have time. It was like, yeah, they didn't have time to be like, fuck her, and pull it down. So, but there's like 11 billion shows on Netflix. So it doesn't, you know, it just kind of falls into the ether somewhere. Were you invested? Because I know you were the lead in, in Wilhelmania, and it's so funny.

But did you write on it? You felt really connected to it in general. Oh, I loved it. And because it was built around me. That's an absolute dream come true. Absolute dream come true for an actual show built around you. Then the biggest streamer in the world commissioning it. Yeah.

Yeah. And so I wasn't a writer and I was the executive producer. So, you know, I had say in it. But I'm not great in writers' rooms. I kind of get a bit bored. It's bad. And there's much better. Like I do, I develop shows and I create shows and everything.

But on this, on Wellmania in particular, they had a great team of writers and, and I was also about to do a world tour. So I didn't really have the mental capacity to be doing that, to be writing that, then filming that in a crazy schedule. Then I had three days to build out a stand-up show and take it on a world tour. So I just didn't really have, you know, the mental capacity for it. Was there a season two ready to go? Was it written? Oh, it was? Yeah, that's a bummer.

I think we found out, I think we were meant to go ahead, like it was meant to be greenlit to start developing on like a Wednesday and we got bold on the Friday that it wasn't happening. Wow. Friday before. Yeah. That is a bummer. Yeah, it is a bummer.

But there'll be more and you have super exciting news happening. You teased it. You teased it. You teased it. Good. Your new endeavor. You were like, something is coming. How annoying, though.

When other people do that, I'm like, I hate you. But then you have to do it. I was doing it. I know. And then my team are like, so I think we do a tease. And I was like, listen, listen. I don't like that idea. And they're like, we don't like, okay.

This is how it works. So, yeah, you have to. I know, it's hard to be a self-aware queen because you have so many of those thoughts. And then you either want to do those things or kind of have to or it's just part of the game. But I had that thought. When I saw your something's coming, I was like, she for sure has conflicting feelings about doing a something is coming. Yeah. And that's why, I don't know if you noticed, it was like five days before it actually happened and I did it. I'm not doing a six months out or like, listen up, set your diaries for 13 weeks. No. Like,

I'll give them five days, even I'm sick of myself. So five days until your new beauty brand Bowie came out, that's so excited. And you generally seem so excited about it. I'm so excited about it. I've had this idea in my brain for like two or so years, just wanting to, you know, make it. I love makeup. But it's so overwhelming. Like, talk if you, I want to know if you're old or not, spend an hour in Sephora. It's just like, fuck is this. I know what I want or what I came in for and it's just too much. And also all makeup brands I've noticed for anyone over the age of 20, everything in the makeup space is just anti-aging serum or anti-aging creams or like this amazing concealer that holds and tautens your face because ooh. And I was like, bad bullshit. I want

my ladies to be brought back into the conversation around it. And I was mixing different products for years to get what I wanted to use each day, make it easy. It's five products that just get you out the door. You can put it all on with your hands. And it's, I'm all about women just being the best version of themselves. It's so hard now, don't you right? Like, it's just so hard now to try and fit into everything. And I'm like, just try and stay happy and who you are and just be the best version of you.

And that's what, that's the whole ethos behind Bowie beauty is just like, You are excellent as you are. We are lucky that we get to age. So let's just kick you to the dick. You're going to look banging. This is easy. Out the door. No 75 minute makeup tutorial.

We're good. And it's gone gangbusters. It's gone so well. I'm so pumped. Oh, my God. That's so exciting. And everyone can order it. It's like international shipping.

Everyone can get their hands on it. And what are the five products? And people. I'm Mr. Worldwide. It's going everywhere. Yeah. Wait, so it's a moisturizer and eyebrow thing? Yeah, it's a tinted illuminator, hydrating illuminator,

and it comes in four shades. So it does with color match. It can go across all skin tones. We did all of the testing. And then that's called Bloody Delicious Illuminator. And then I have the Bam Bam Bam, Ban, which is lip, cheek, and eye tint. You just go bam, bam, bam, bam, and it's done. They come in two colors.

And then there's a tinted gel eyebrow hold. which is called Bring Back the Bush, because the 90s stole our brow, and we need to try and bring the back. And then I have the greatest mascara you will ever experience called You're Welcome. It's tubular, so it stays on. So when you have like your little hormonal cries, it doesn't come on. And then where the hell is my lip balm in three colors? Because we always wear a lip balm.

Because where is the, oh, my God, those are such good knee. Where the hell is it? No, that's so good. And it's all like, all five products, but under $1.45. about. That's Australian. That's Australian money as well. So it's like 16 cents for you guys in America. Wait, how much did you say it was? It all comes. So all products are under $40. So to get all five products, it's under $145. That's Australian dollars. So in America, that's like, what? A $1.90. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, it's a $1.90 to your. Well, no, but like the conversion, it's just super cheap for you guys over there. Okay. Cool. Yeah. that's so fun. I'm so with you on that because what did I just order? I saw some influencer like put on freckles with broccoli? No, no, no, not the broccoli trend. Even though you need to do that with a freckle putter. Okay. And I was like, damn, that does look cute. Ordered, swiped up, whatever. And I get it. And I literally, I'm like, and I did what she did, which was like a little pet. Like I can't even tell you guys. I literally was like, wait. Because I am inept when it comes.

to makeup. Like, I don't know. I can't even curl my eyelashes. So I'm that girl. Like, I need the easy, the simple, the, like, foot, foot, foot, foot, like, I don't even know how to wet the sponge. Bam, bam, bam, bam, foot, fit, fit. No sponges. And it's on, I've got some come on its way to you, my friend. I know. I'm waiting. Me too. I'm waiting for my buoy. I'm waiting for my buoy. What is the name? How'd you come up with the name? Is I want to call my boys. Well, my name for my boys. I know. Oh, it's so cute. I didn't, you know, like, every time I say it's cute now, though, I'm talking about it. I'm like, yeah, no, you know, something like, Bowie needs to do this.

And then on Friday, we've got Bowie and my kids in the background are like, yeah. No, not you anymore. Smile the baby. Sorry. I'm making money off of it now. So, shut up. Yeah. I'm sick of making other people rich boys.

I'm doing it this way now. So you have stepkids, right? But the two that are yours biologically are boys. Yeah, I have two stepdaughters who are 23 and 25. And I have, I came with my husband and then my two boys that came tearing out of me. Wait, but you've been with your husband for like 20 years or something before you got married, right? Well, 21, well, 21 years we've been together all up. We were together for 11 or 10 years before he proposed.

So when did he have time to... Talk about the fucking long game. Wait, why were you itching to get married? Were you one of the, were you like, where's my ring? No, not really, but I think when it happened and then, you know, it's like, we're engaged, we're engaged and people like, oh, yeah, you know, finally, I was like, actually, yeah, finally, what happened there? Been raising your daughters, I'm pregnant with your son.

What's going on? Oh, so he was, so he had his daughter super young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was 21 when I met Arfi, and his girls were two and four when we met. So I kind of had them since then. Wow. So you were like a young stepmom. And it's interesting now because, you know, the girls are the age they are, they're like,

I don't know how you did it. I could never. I could never. Like, yeah. Oh, right. It was a time. Oh, wow. That is true.

And do you all live together? Oh, no. Well, the girls have moved out because they're, you know. grown. And I think on my oldest daughter's birthday, I'm very close with my girls. They are the funniest girls in any other. They're hilarious. Especially my oldest. When she turned 18, I remember kicking her door open in the morning going, happy birthday. You're raised. Consider yourself raised. Get out. I go. I've got all this lot going on. Yeah. So they're excellent. But Sarah, the daughter lives, yeah, right by her. But that's fun because you got like,

Because you have two boys, and then you got to experience, like, girls, too. Absolutely. Without having them. Yeah. And they're the best. Like, the four of them, their relationship is so sweet. Oh, yeah? They love each other so much.

The girls are the best sisters, the best sisters. Do they call themselves, do they call themselves, like, step siblings? Or do they straight up say, oh, no, because they, like, grew up together since they were little? And that's how we have, they're all brothers and sisters. Absolutely. They have other siblings as well. Their mom had other kids and they're super close with them. Like they're the greatest, these girls. No, they're all, no one's step anything. It's just brother than sisters. The boys can't wait to turn 18 so then they can move out and move in with their sisters. Stop. That is so cute. But they're little. You said they're 13 and 10. Yeah. They're counting down the days. They want out. Do they follow? you on Instagram, your boys? Like, do they ever say, like, mom, your boobs are in my friend's faces? Or do they not care? My boys don't have social media. And I really hope that stays that way. Wait, they have phones, but no social media. Yeah, they have phones so I can track them, but then I don't have, I mean, my 10-year-old, it's just like a device. He hasn't got a sin part in it. So it's not

a phone phone. But my oldest boy, yeah, he just kind of got a phone this year. And no, no social media. He doesn't know what you do on Instagram. He knows. Well, he knows what I do. He actually came home not long ago and was like, oh, my friends found your stuff on TikTok. Well, I was like, okay, be all right? Like, do you want to talk about it? It's like, well, it's just weird because you're naked. And I'm like, well, I'm not naked. I'm never naked. I'm never completely naked and I'm no more naked than the lady in the video or photo ahead of me

and he goes, yeah, it was just weird and I was like, I get it, but you know, you fly business class now, mate, you'll be fine. Look it up. I know that is a weird, it is a weird thing, but you aren't naked. You're right. And you know what I noticed with you

is like, because this is my thing. I really think that aging is beautiful. and that we do get hotter as we age. Like, I do think I'm cuter now than I was at, like, 18. Like, people think, I remember one mean comment, one said to me, like,

you can tell that she, like, peaked in high school. Like, no, I didn't. I'll, like, no. No, peaking now, you know? So I was thinking about that, like, you're hot in your videos. Like, sometimes you're trying to make fun of yourself, but I'm like, but she looks good.

You know what I mean? Like, you look good. Thanks. I've always, on the same, I'm absolutely getting better as I get older. I think we all are. Absolutely. I was a slapped ass at high school. I was nasty.

Like, it was a whole, I had, had brace, oh, that poor bitch. But it's always just, it's always just to be funny. No, I know. But sometimes I'm like, but sometimes I'm like, but she's, you're looking good. You're looking good. Like, I know you're trying to look. like, you know, not, not the best, but I'm like, damn, she's, she's pulling off, she's pulling off this luck.

That's fun as well in the street sometimes when, you know, especially when I meet, people are so lovely to meet. And then when women are like, oh, I don't know, we have, and then they'll say to their husband, this is the less, you know, that woman on Instagram. And the guys are always like, oh, and they have a moment, they're like, oh, you don't look, you don't look like that. You look different. I was like, yeah, this is what I look like with clothes on.

Unplenched, it's okay. But they're like, you look, you don't look like that in real life. And I'm like, yeah, because I play up the ridiculousness of it. Right, right. But you're saying even though you looked like a slapped ass in high school, you still have like, you still have like a lot of confidence, it seems like. Yeah, I mean, I have it when it comes to comedy. I've always been confident in what, always kind of known that I'm just funny.

But when it comes to body image stuff, Oh, it's all the same shit that everyone does. Absolutely. I just kind of, when I put it through the lens of parody, talking about, you know, posting. When I put it to the lens of parody or poking fun at something, then I'm, yeah. But sometimes I'll post. I'll get up a photo and do it and, like, about to post it.

And I'll look at it and go, oh, okay, all right, take a deep breath, try, you know, everyone's beautiful. Buy what you're selling. Buy what you're selling. Buy what you're selling. Post. You know, run away. And also, you know it's not about that, too.

Like, you're not trying to get people being like, you look so good. You know what I mean? It's not like you're trying to pose a good photo. Did any celebrity ever ask? Like, do me. Do me. Yeah? The funnest part is when celebs then be photos of other celebrities to do.

Oh, hey. Oh, like, well, that's... Interesting. They love it. They love it more than any one. one you know they even love the like making fun of other celebrities more than they love more than normies do you know absolutely absolutely it's like because we're relatable no but it's also like i with you how many times have i seen something and been like so lice needs to do it like it just became like

a thing you know like you need to do it and i'm sure you've inspired other people i hope you look at it like that and you don't are not like these people are copying me. I'm sure there are so many people that have tried to do what you're doing, no? Oh, I don't look at, do what you want. No, I think it's hilarious. I really do. And, like, Instagram is so fucking massive now. Like I was saying before, it started out as just these beautiful curated still photos,

but it's blown out to, you know, I've found some of my favorite comedians on Instagram now. Like, yeah, it's so, you know, I think I take it as a massive compliment. I also know I didn't invent parody. I know I'm not the founder of satire. Like, yeah. It makes me elated to be able to recommend things to you guys that I wholeheartedly believe in. It's such an amazing feeling to be able to just stand behind something,

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a checkout for 20% off your first purchase. That's Purely, P-U-R-E-L-Y-E-L-E-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-E-L-A-L-E-L-A-L-E-L-A-R-E-L-E-L-A-R-E-R-E-L-A-R-E-L-E-L-E-L-O-F-E-E. I was shocked to find out, when I found doubt that she was offended by you. I was like, this makes, this makes sense. Like, I don't feel bad anymore. Why was she offended by you? What did you do? She gave birth. And four days later, she had like 3,000 abs, like her normal abs. And she posted a pick. And I was, and she had a docketot in the back, like a baby lounger. Because at first, like, everyone was like, oh, my God, how is her body so crazy? It's been three days. And I was like, maybe it's a photo from before. Like, I was trying to be hopeful.

I was like, it's a TBT, everyone. Don't freak out. And then I was like, oh, no, there's a baby lounger in the background. Like, I saw the baby lounger and I was like, so it was a stupid like, excuse the dog. We said, like, excuse the baby lounger, meaning like, it was like a joke of like, almost the baby lounger is there. So you know it's a, it's a recent photo. That was the joke. It wasn't like, I'm offended for all the women that she has abs.

Like, that ain't me, you know? But it became a thing. Like, excuse, it's called a docketot. So everyone was being like, excuse the docketot. And even now, it's, it's continued into a joke where my followers will be like, if you post a really hot photo of yourself and there was something in the background, whatever. It was dumb.

And she went on Howard Stern and he was like, you know, you bounce back after you had your baby. Because Howard can say that, you know, he can say whatever you want. He's like, you bounce back. He bounced back. you know how'd you do we bounce back and she's like yeah and like some people were really mad that I bounced back and then she called me out she was like especially this woman on Instagram with a small following she said and then I made merch that said small following so it was a win on my part but um absolutely win win win win but I thought it was so funny because I was like I can't believe

that she thought that I and it was funny no one was saying I'm the last person to say, you can't be hot after giving birth. It just, like, was a funny thing because I'm used to seeing people in hospital, I mean, myself in hospital underwear. But then I found out that she had blocked you after your funny thing. So how, what, when that happened? She, she blocked me years ago, like, so long ago. I want to say, 2015.

Maybe, yeah, may, yeah, so long ago. And I didn't know for her really. long time because people send me her photos, right? You know, you can't see, when you get blocked, you can't see their stuff, but it's also the internet, it's not hard to find stuff. And so I was still doing parodies and also the content is too good. It's too good. So I was posting and then I found out she didn't, like she'd blocked me and she didn't like it. So I was like, oh, oh, that's boring. Oh, no, I can't do it. Oh, come on, please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Oh, you don't. Oh, okay. I'll stop. But I did a few months ago. I was like,

I did it Insta story and I hashtagged her. I was like, please, Emma, can you unblock me? The content's too good. Please, but she hasn't. It's annoying. Well, she's not going to, I didn't see that you posted that, but I would have, but she won't, first of all, she didn't block me. So I'm so I'm surprised because she was, are you surprised that somebody could have been that offended by what you do? No, I'm not surprised that you, that, you know, I think it, you know, when you used to living in a world where when you walk down the street, the seas part for you, because, oh, you know, you were incredibly attractive and you are in that body and that's, and you are absolutely

owning that body and putting that out there and absolutely, I'm not surprised that when someone comes along and goes, oh my fucking God, that's a lot. Hang on. This makes a lot of us feel really shit. Oh, I want to do something about this. I'm not surprised that he's like, no, I don't want, I don't want none of it. I am used to living in this world and I won't have anyone make fun of it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, no, it is a bummer when to think that people can have a sense of humor. She said on her podcast, by the way, I don't know if you know. She said it was blown out of proportion. She thinks you're funny, but she didn't give her consent for.

And she thinks it's like, yeah, somehow she's taking it as a derogatory thing to women. Has anybody else ever been offended ever? No, probably. Yes, I think so. But not someone. Important. Yeah. Someone never really.

And if Cindy Crosswood gets it, if Lady Gaga loves it, if Rosie Hunt, and Whiteley, Bella Hadid, Tom Ford, like these absolute, you know, the top of their level, love it, I'm good. I'm okay for a bikini model to be like, stop making fun of me. I like doing this. Stop. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I just wish you have a sense of humor, for her sake. For her sake, yeah. No, I just, that I don't give, I didn't give consent. That's the thing that she said. I don't give consent. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, she, yeah, she doesn't like, it's funny, it's like she doesn't like her body being a topic, but then she literally wrote a book called My Body. And literally, I know, I was having a, and then posts like only her body. So I've yet to figure out the like, you know, what she's trying to do. Because she, I have yet to figure it out. And I, again, wasn't, wasn't not liking the hotness. You know, I'm very pro the hotness of everybody. I'm very pro the hotness. Bring on.

the hotness. Bring on all the hotness. But just every now and I won't make a little bit of fun of the hotness. Yeah. Because there's millions and millions and millions of women in the world that feel really fucking shit when they constantly are only being shown hotness and going, if you look like this, you will have this success. But if you don't look like this, I'm sorry, then you won't. So, yeah. So I say, feel like that really is like the is that like what ties it all together for you like your comedy and now your brand buoy like is that the common thread like the what you're trying to do it's yeah it's yeah it would be disingenuous of me if i was if i didn't actually feel like that because that's what i'm

putting out there i don't know i just it's just you know women's currency are more than just how we look how i look is the least interesting thing about me i know and about most of us But we don't, do you know that once my husband, once my husband said that, and it wasn't nice to hear him saying that. Like he meant it in a nice way as you're saying it. Like he was telling me like that, you know, I'm doing well because of like, you know, my, my personality or what he was saying. And I was like, and I was like, and also how I look, no. He was like, no. He was like, no. And I was like, really? And all of a sudden when he said it, I was like, doesn't sound like, like, you. You know, like, give me a little. Give me a little. Maybe rehearse that before you say that to me. Run it in front of the mirror a couple of times and then come out and, like, perform it for us.

Because that's what we need. Wait, so for your hot husband, did he change his Instagram handle to that, or did you? Oh, I think we probably, probably me. We both did. That was so random how that came up. I remember, I just said that he, you know, it's my hot husband.

I think in passing on a story or something, a passing comment, and I think I may have hashtaged it on a post. Just a couple of times. I never had this thing. And now everyone was like, let's listen to a hot husband or what's hot husband up to? And so I thought, oh, this is kind of, this is kind of fun. And well done on being hot. So, yeah, we changed it.

And you're still, it feels like from Instagram, like you are after all these years still really hot for him. Yeah, he's pretty wicked. He's a pretty wicked guy And we've been through a lot together 21 years, 4,000 children Like his career Yeah, he's

He's pretty excellent And he's 51 He just took 51 in April I mean he looks really good Yeah, that can fuck off That drives me nuts How he's just like Actually we're in the sauna yesterday

And he got out of the sauna He turned around He goes, I'll get the list you know, are you ready, turn around? And he was just like sweating off. And I went, are you right with all of that? And I looked like, oh, my fucking God, I was red and puffy. I just looked like I was about to, you know, the rock looks like he's about to explode.

I looked like that, but it was horrible. And he's just, he's dripping Adonis. And I was like, yeah, you're really pretty. That works for me. So when you, when you started dating, were you like, why are you, Did you feel insecure because you thought he was so hot? Were you like, why are you into me? No, but maybe.

In hindsight, I had a nasty haircut as well when we met. Oh, it was bad. Remember when Hallie Berry had that really short, cropped, like pixie haircut? You did that? Yeah, I did that. And I'm really lacking in jawline, so I can't be pulling off a pixie haircut, but I had that when I met him. And he remembers the day that we met, he was like,

I remember thinking you were really confident because of the haircut you had and what you were wearing. I am dying. Do you remember what you were wearing? Yes. I was wearing a short denim skirt, like a jean skirt. I had like a green cummy on with a little bit of white lace on it. And I had these 10 knee boots. Didn't have a feel, but knee boot. It looked kind of like other boots, but like to your knee. Yeah. Wait. Did I get yelled up by Australians that you guys do? don't wear ugg boots outside. We wear ugg boots outside when we're running down to the, to get a coffee.

You guys really throw your fucking backs into ugg boots over there. Like in style, do six-page stories on ugg boots and what are you going to buy gabbers wearing uggs? Right, right. What's stopping on? Yeah, no, we don't lean into it like you guys do. Oh, wow. You've got platform ugs now, it's the whole thing.

Oh, yeah, we love the plat. No, what, you guys don't. But we just don't wear them outside. You don't. Yeah, that's what they told me. That's what you guys told me. And I'm like, stop hating. Yeah, you did so much this year. I loved when you hosted the Daily Front Row. You did look amazing. Thanks, silly. You looked amazing. And you, you said somewhere, you were like, I can look amazing on a red carpet and I could look like, what did you say? Dick, Dick Slaps, Dick. Blags. Slap dance. Slap darts. A bag of dicks. Any of them will work. No, but you really were one of like my favorite. And you met. so many people there. Chris Jenner, Jennifer Garner, Doja Cat. I mean, you've had a year. That was actually the second time that I hosted the LA Fashion Awards. I also hosted them in 2019 and Lady Gaga was there. That was, that's an exciting one for you. Is that over Janet Jackson for you? Because I saw you freak out over her. No, no, no one's over Janet Jackson. That's end all be all.

End all be all. Good night, Irene. It's over and done. Janet for life. Is that why your tour is called backup dancer? Is that your dream was to be her backup dancer? Yeah, her 1998 Velvet Roke tour changed my life. Completely changed my life. Wow. I learned, I went and saw it when she came to Brisbane, and I learned every single dance moves for that two and a half hour concert,

and I performed it every afternoon after school in my lounge room alone. Like, I'm talking costume changes. Wow. Like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I was, like, after school, I'll come home and I'm hanging out with Janet and all her backup dancers. Like, Michael Tice, Gill and Robert, I know them all. Tina, like, I know all of her backup dancers. I just, I just absolutely, absolutely loves her.

And it's weird, I don't get dark struck. It's a weird thing about, my husband's like, that's weird about you. You know, Lady Gaga wants to meet you and you and you just hang out with her and chat and have a laugh and it's no issue. But I had a chance to meet Janet Jackson, and I absolutely shut the bed. It was like, I wouldn't know what to do. When did that happen? It happened this year.

I was that in Vegas seeing Kylie Minogue's residency is incredible as well. And then I was backstage with Kylie because that's a sentence. I don't know what big stuff I'm going with. Kicking it backstage with Kylie in Vegas. And then Janet was at that show. And then she was backstage as well. and she walked past us. It was just me and Kylie there and, like, people,

but then she walked past us and she looked at me, but she saw me, she know what I mean? She didn't just look at me. I was like, did she see this? She knows. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to talk.

So instead, I thought, it took everything I had not to just break into Corrie, not to just break into like, get me a bait, and start throwing out if choreography. And thankfully my husband was there because he kind of grabbed my shirt and went, don't do it, you're going to regret it. I'm begging you not to do it.

And then she, even Kylie was like, don't just start fucking dancing in front of us. Fuck, you idiot. So I kind of didn't do anything. You just said like, no, I couldn't even do that. I went. And then she left and the roller door went down and I was like,

do you? I was like, you all need to understand what has just happened. Janet fucking, like, was really full of the ballot. Aren't you upset you didn't get a pick? Completely. I absolutely fucked it. And then I went and saw her show in Chicago at the end of my tour. And there was, you know, her team and my team were trying to get it that we could, I could meet. And I was like, I just don't know.

I was like, can. What, you were too nervous? Yeah, I think I missed my opportunity when it was just quite backstage with Kylie. You know, I could have then said all the things. But yeah, I don't know. I just, I absolutely choked. Wow. Absolutely choked.

She would have probably been happy to meet you. I know when I ruined it. You could have done a collab post. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? No, you would have done. Like her standing there, and I would just be, when I saw her concert, I cried my eyelashes off.

Like, I was not okay. Is she still, is she still good? She's still a good live. Unbelievable. Really? I have to be honest. I did not know she was still performing. I did not know that.

She's 58. We just get better. Kylie Minogue is 56 and I also got to see Alana's Morrissey and she is 50. We just get. better we really do more set is 50 damn and kiley minogue yeah she's been she's been fucking she's she's she's she's she's she's killing it she's killing it i'm gonna ask you a couple more things before you go because i could talk to you forever because you're just so great but wait do you know what a brat summer is no because i'm not cool and i have you heard

do you have you heard of it is it charlie ex oh my god you don't even know you don't even know you don't know that. I do. I do. Say the full name. Say the full name of the lady. Yes. X, X, X, X. Charlie's sexy. Charlie, because I, I really like her and I think she's kind of sexy. So her name is Charlie Sexy X.

Charlie's sexy X. So I didn't know, guys. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. And I should know. Okay. And everyone's brats summering it up. And I want to know what a brat summer is to you, Celeste.

What is a brat summer to you? I'll tell you what it is to Charlie. Do you want to know what it is to Charlie? In your so tell me her name. Charlie X. I think it's X, C, X. Sexy. Charlie got sexy.

Yeah. She, things that are decidedly brat-coded are dirty martinis, skinny cigarettes, sunblock, red bulls, white tank tops, and salads. So it's kind of like all the things. Like dirty, but protect your skin, you know, kind of vibes. And be hot. And be hot. Right.

So what's your brat summer, Celeste? My brat summer is a bottle of red wine, some sort of weighted blanket. The beach. Yeah. Altier. The beach. Bowie on my face. And did I say a bottle of wine?

Yeah. you said red, which is weird at the beach. It chilled. Chill. It's nice. Okay. And a braulet. That would be, I feel very comfortable.

Not a tank top, like a brawlet. A brawet. Okay. Yeah, no, I was telling out with me. I'm not a brat. Sorry, I'm not, I'm not fun. Not fun. What's your brunt summer?

I don't know. I'm not going to answer that. You know what? Because I just had a baby. Just get me up. I had a baby. What is my brat summer? or underboob sweat

fucking pumping up the wazoo screaming into a pillow no sleep no sleep new stretch marks hair is fine yeah you're right it is good

you know okay yeah get pregnant Celeste let me tell you I haven't had to like take care and put it on the shower wall yet this whole pregnancy

isn't it wild like hair falls out so much and then you're pregnant and no hair falls out you can like touch your hair forever and it doesn't, it doesn't fall out.

Celeste, you're the best. And I have to tell you, just an anecdote, my mom, like, before we even scheduled this, she was like, you know who you have to have on the podcast, Celeste Baber. And I was like, Mom, it's being scheduled as we speak, you know? Celeste Bauer and Charlie Sexy. Get them on. So you are, you are really for everyone. As is Bowie, everyone, go check out, Bowie.

I can't wait to get it. and review it and do a tutorial. Yeah, there'd be a three-minute tutorial. It's trust of all. I love how you did a tutorial, like, at the airport, whispering into, like, the camera, like, in a hat, but you're supposed to, like, put it on your forehead. That's the most, like, non-influensary GRWM ever.

When I sat there and set up the camera, I was like, oh, wow, things have changed. you're like I hate myself I hate myself I can't believe I'm doing this and I was like oh everyone's probably going to be looking at me no one gave a shit not one person I think one old lady may walk past and looked at me because I was in her way but no way we're so self-involved aren't because people are so gonna be looking no one gives a shit because also like everyone that's what I think when I see people have their phones set up in airports even to show us their airport fit, you know? And you see the phone is like lean somewhere, you know? I feel like

people are just like used to it now. Oh, it drives me crazy though. Unless they're dancing, I'm like, oh, that looks fun. But I was tucked in a corner. I had my little suitcase. I just put my phone on it. So it looked as though I was just sitting there until I started talking and putting on makeup. But no one gives a shit. People who are all so self-involved. No one cares. No, it's so good. I love your stuff, Celeste. Always have. And I'm so excited for this new brand. And I'm so excited that it's doing so good and I'm so excited to have met you

because huge fan I'm sorry I wanted to come and see you in New York but you decided to go into labor so I know

I'm such a bitch you're such a bitch I know I really wanted to make it work in person too but next time next time absolutely

thank you for coming on you too baby thank you bye lots of love bye thank you guys so much

for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocheroo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.